Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Episodes
290 episodes
Hate Watching Dark Crimes: True Crime or Exploitation?
Dark Crimes wants to be a grim, prestige-leaning true crime thriller, but the further we follow it, the less it holds together. We sit down with our notes and try to track basic things a crime mystery should make clear: who wants what, what the...
Hate Watching Avatar 3: Fire and Rehash
A three-hour sci-fi epic shouldn’t feel like you accidentally hit replay, yet that’s the vibe we can’t shake while breaking down Avatar 3: Fire and Ash. We’re Dan and Tony, and we watch the movies everyone’s already seen, then pull on the threa...
Hate Watching Greenland 2: The Slow Death of Cinema
A sequel can be bigger, darker, and meaner, but it still has to make sense. We take on Greenland: Migration as a natural disaster movie and post-apocalyptic survival thriller that keeps sprinting past its own logic: rations that magically last ...
Hate Watching Mercy: Cannot Compute
An AI judge. A 90-minute timer. One chair that can end you. Mercy sells itself like a sleek future-court thriller, but the more we follow its rules, the less the world holds together and that’s where our review gets viciously fun.We wal...
Hate Watching The Tomorrow War: Time Travel Faux Pas
A time portal opens on a soccer field, a future soldier somehow addresses the whole stadium without a mic, and the world immediately agrees to a draft that sends regular people into an alien war with barely any training. That’s the kind of logi...
Hate Watching Anaconda: A Fangless Reboot
A reboot can survive a bad budget, cheap CGI, and even a silly premise. What it cannot survive is refusing to be the movie it advertises. We dig into the Anaconda remake and the strange choice to set up jump scares, a Brazil jungle prologue, an...
Hate Watching In The Blink Of An Eye: Blink too hard and you'll...fall asleep
Three timelines. One supposed “grand message.” And somehow we’re left asking the simplest question a movie can provoke: what was the point? We take on In The Blink Of An Eye, the Hulu sci-fi drama that jumps from a prehistoric survival story to...
Hate Watching Play Dirty: A Train Wreck So Big Even the CGI Ran Away
A great heist hums like clockwork: clear motives, sharp reversals, and rules the audience can trust. Play Dirty aims for that swagger but keeps slipping on its own tone, ricocheting between hard-boiled grit and broad comedy. We dive into why th...
Hate Watching Transformers The Last Knight: Less Than Meets the Eye
Knights, Nazis, submarines, and a three-headed robo-dragon walk into a Transformers sequel… and somehow the wildest ingredients still feel weightless. We dig into Transformers: The Last Knight to figure out why the VFX slap while the story slip...
Hate Watching Strange Wilderness: Turkeys and Sharks and Bears, Oh My!
What happens when a movie you once despised suddenly makes you laugh out loud? We dive back into Strange Wilderness and pull apart why some of its dumbest jokes still work—and why the “movie” around them often doesn’t. We set the table with the...
Hate Watching Gladiator II: A Monolithic Letdown
What happens when a massive sequel forgets the one thing epics can’t live without—emotion? We take a scalpel to Gladiator 2 and dig into why the arena feels quiet even when the crowd is screaming. From a “last free city” setup that strains beli...
Hate Watching Five Nights At Freddy’s 2: The Ghosts in the Machines
A killer marionette, a sleepy music box, and a town that throws a FazFest for reasons no one can explain—welcome to our breakdown of Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, where the lore expands and the logic contracts. We dig into the 1982 prologue that b...
Hate Watching Presence: Ghosts, Burritos, And Bad Movies
A ghost’s-eye horror should feel like slipping between walls, time, and truth. Instead, Presence hands us a floating wide-angle lens that wanders rooms, hides in closets, and forgets why it’s haunting anyone. We dive straight into why the conce...
Hate Watching The Animal: Beast Mode Or Bust
A goat gag, a blow dart, and one perfect Norm Macdonald riff walk into a movie. We dive into The Animal with our gloves off and our sense of humor intact, asking a simple question that unlocks the whole watch: can lowbrow comedy land when the l...
Hate Watching Playdate: Alan Ritchson Saves The Day
We had questions the moment Playdate 2025 opened on a joyless car chase and a baffling lacrosse scene—and then Isla Fisher strolled in with the “Mama Mafia” and Alan Ritchson arrived like a golden retriever with black-ops training. That’s the w...
Hate Watching Honey Don’t: Pretty Sure Honey Didn't
A Vespa hums into Bakersfield, a church robe hides bondage gear, and a smooth-talking reverend runs a drug ring between sermons about macaroni. We dive into Honey Don’t with a simple litmus test for any detective story: does the protagonist act...
Hate Watching Death of a Unicorn: Mo Money And Messy CGI
A healing unicorn, a billionaire’s lodge, and a night that should have dripped with dread instead slides into confusion. We dive into Death of a Unicorn with fresh eyes and plenty of receipts—where the premise shines, why the scares fizzle, and...
Hate Watching A Very Jonas Christmas Movie: Holiday Hype or Hollow Cheer
A leather jacket Santa, a melted plane, and a train to the wrong city—on paper it sounds wild. We hit play on the Jonas Brothers holiday special expecting cozy carols and earned nostalgia, and got a glossy tour of Europe where money and magic w...
Hate Watching the Truman Show: Truman, Tinfoil, And TV Lies
What happens when a brilliant concept crumbles under its own weight? We dive headfirst into The Truman Show and pull at every loose thread: a dome you can see from space, a moon that doubles as a control booth, rain on a dimmer, and a hero who ...
Hate Watching The Pickup: A Monkey, A Ring, and Zero Stakes
The trailer had us hopeful; the movie had us baffled. We dive into The Pickup and pull apart why a slick heist premise, a stacked cast, and a veteran director still yield a comedy-thriller with no real stakes and a whole lot of shrugs. From the...
Hate Watching Timeline: Dumb, Fun, Semi-History
A time machine that behaves like a fax, a grenade that hops centuries, and an ear that turns into destiny—this conversation goes deep on why Timeline is both ridiculous and ridiculously enjoyable. We break down the movie’s soft science with a s...
Hate Watching Land of the Lost: Big Brain T-Rex, Tiny Plot
Dinosaurs, portals, and a chorus line of pterodactyls should be a slam dunk. We dove into Land of the Lost to figure out why a movie with so many toys keeps losing the game—and how a few smart changes could have turned chaos into comedy that st...
Hate Watching Little Evil: Little Evil, Big Opinions
What happens when a sharp horror-comedy premise gets tripped up by soggy jokes and TV-flat reactions? We dig into Little Evil with a filmmaker’s eye and a comic’s ear, mapping the moments that could have soared if the setups, POV, and character...
Hate Watching Werewolves: Don't Forget Your Moonscreen
A supermoon turns the world wild, Frank Grillo grabs a shotgun, and we grab our notes. We break down Werewolves with the kind of scene-by-scene nitpicks and love for schlock that only come from watching too many creature features at 2 a.m. The ...
Hate Watching Superman: An Unpopular Opinion
A Superman movie where the dog makes more choices than the Man of Steel? We dove into James Gunn’s take and found a shiny spectacle that keeps dodging the heart of the character. From a midstream opening to a city-leviathan set piece shot throu...