Hate Watching with Dan and Tony

Hate Watching Passengers: I'd Rather Die Alone

• Dan Goodsell and Tony Czech • Season 1 • Episode 288

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A guy wakes up alone on a colony ship, stares at a sleeping stranger for a year, and then makes a choice the movie wants to frame as romance. That’s the moment Passengers (2016) loses us, and we can’t stop talking about why.

We walk through the film’s best ingredients: a slick sci-fi setting, a genuinely scary isolation setup, a talented Jennifer Lawrence, and a premise that could have powered a tense space thriller. Then we dig into the uncomfortable stuff the screenplay keeps sanding down, from consent and confinement to how quickly the story tries to move past the damage. Along the way we roast the ship’s “rules” (food tiers, crew access, the one medical pod for thousands) and call out how the stakes keep evaporating right when they should spike.

The most fun part is the fix: we pitch a version of Passengers that starts with Aurora waking up and lets the truth unravel slowly, turning the movie into the horror story it keeps accidentally teasing. We also hit the Laurence Fishburne section, the rushed malfunction plot, and the ending that asks you to feel warm and fuzzy after everything that came before.

If you’re into movie review podcasts, sci-fi movie critiques, and conversations about narrative structure, character accountability, and why some “romance” plots age terribly, queue this one up. Subscribe, share it with a friend who hates this movie too, and leave us a review with your verdict: horror, romance, or both?


Written lovingly by AI

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Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech

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Cold Open And Show Setup

SPEAKER_02

Let me arrange my tuft of hair.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, get your little Elvis curl, your Superman curl. There you go.

SPEAKER_02

The lollipop guild, the lollipop guild. Will you let me sent?

SPEAKER_01

That's good.

SPEAKER_00

Lollipop guild, the lollipopkill.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to Heat Watching with Dan and Tony. I am Dan. I am Tony. On this show, we watch the cutting edge movies that are at least 10 years old. People are wondering. People, people, you know, with the AI out there, somebody's got to put people straight so that they want. See, because this, we need to get into the get get the disseminate our information out there. So when you're doing your your Google AI summary, it's going to be like Dan and Tony say this movie stays.

SPEAKER_01

That's right. They did not like it. End of story. Thanks, AI. Great work.

SPEAKER_02

Um so this week, Tony's not gonna be allowed to talk for a while.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, I'll just stand by. Because he didn't take any notes on the movie. I didn't I didn't take any notes. No notes, 10 out of 10. Great job, everybody.

SPEAKER_02

Um, this week I picked the movie, which was based on a suggestion by a good friend Jules in Australia. Um I picked the movie Passengers 2016, hour and fifty-six minutes, Jennifer Lawrence, J Law, and C Pat. And uh Little Cameo by uh what's his name from the Matrix movies?

SPEAKER_01

Lawrence Fishburn.

SPEAKER_02

Lawrence Fishburne, who shows oh, spoilers ahead. Yeah, this is a movie you have to say spoilers ahead, because you don't know what I told Tony, don't watch any of the previews. No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_01

Did you see anything any of this coming? Uh no, no. In fact, because I, you know, I've seen no

Why Passengers Feels So Wrong

SPEAKER_01

I saw the trailer 10 years ago, right? I mean, I you know, it was everywhere, I'm sure. I don't remember the trailer. Neither do I, but I I would uh wager that Lawrence Fishburne not in the trailer. That's just my guess. I don't know. I don't know. I didn't watch the trailer.

SPEAKER_02

I just didn't want I want you to go in very clean because there is there's a few things that happen.

SPEAKER_01

100%. Um, also I assume you don't know how creepy Chris Pratt is in the trailer. I assume they they edited around all that. Um so weird. This movie's I would I didn't look at any information, so I don't know what people thought of the movie. I don't know how people feel now looking back. This movie, problematic, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_02

Um I hated this movie the first time I saw it.

SPEAKER_01

You already seen this? I'd already seen this. Maybe you did tell me that last week. I'd already seen this.

SPEAKER_02

That's why I never really put it on my list. I was like, you know, uh this and this and Ad Astra and um the stupid Christopher Nolan movie where they they go to all the planets and all that pile of garbage. Interstellar. Interstellar. You know, these were movies I was like, these these were the movies that really made me want to do this show. Because I did a solo one about Ad Astras at the very beginning, and I was like, okay, this I have a few things to say. And so this was one of those movies that I just hated. Um, and then as I started watching it, I was like, am I liking this movie? Maybe I'm liking this movie. No, no, you didn't. And then you get to the meat of the movie, then you're like, no, I didn't like this. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The second time watching it, he's not as creepy, he's more pathetic.

SPEAKER_01

Now I can understand how it would lean that way. But I've being a first-time viewer here, Dan, it's bad. It's really bad.

SPEAKER_03

It's really bad.

SPEAKER_01

Uh he listened she is asleep in a pod, and there's he does bad things next to her pod. Without a doubt. I mean, they don't show this in the movie. Did you expect we all know?

SPEAKER_02

Did you expect there to be you'd have to clean the pot up a bit before little whites? So the premise of the movie, oh the basic premise of the movie is they're on a colony ship. He's his he alone wakes up and then can't, and then is alone on the ship, and then after a year, he falls in love with somebody that's asleep, and then he wakes her up.

SPEAKER_01

That's effectively murdering her.

SPEAKER_02

That's the way she puts it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean, yeah, she there's nothing to do. They're stuck on a ship, right? They're gonna die before they get to the place. He killed her just to use her body. Let's just call it how it is. It's weird. I and there's that Lawrence Fishborn Freshburn moment where he tells him what happened and he's like, How long are you alone? A year, and he's like, Still, damn. I was like, You're underplaying that, guys. I I have to imagine you'd be a little bit more like, okay, a year? That's not even that good. That's if you were not in 90 years and you made it five, maybe ten years, I'd have a little bit of respect for you. You lasted one year and a couple months.

unknown

And a couple months.

SPEAKER_01

One year, three months, okay, I'll give it to you.

SPEAKER_02

Um you know, there's really um okay. Well, we'll talk about we'll talk about the issues. The thing about this movie is they could have made it an interesting movie, right? They could have, you know, because you would think, yeah. Because then what happens is the ship is malfunctioning, and that's what woke him up, and then then they have to fix the malfunction, and then they fall in love. Then they fall in love.

SPEAKER_01

Sort of they do. Like that's like a five-minute uh little escapade. Because I when that happens, when Lawrence Fishburne wakes up and he's like, There's something wrong with a ship, I was like, oh shit, okay, here we go. And then that's wrapped up in about eight minutes, and I was like, Oh, okay, never mind. It's that's an interesting, that's a fun movie, right? You gotta fix a ship, and then I mean, fun, maybe not the right word, but it's more interesting to me that like something's going wrong, they have to figure it out, and then they, you know, he sacrifices himself to save the rest of the people. That's okay. That's an alright movie.

SPEAKER_02

Maybe I mean the problem is that he tells them they have to fix the ship. They they they sort of start to try to think about fixing the ship. Then he he tells them to fix the ship, and then like within minutes, yes, they've found the problem with the ship, instantly diagnose the problem with the ship, and then he has magically fixed it. He has acts like he's self-sacrificed, but he it isn't a self-sacrifice.

SPEAKER_01

He's totally fine. He's not even he's not even injured. No, he's like he doesn't get burned whatsoever. He's totally fine. So it worked out really well for him.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, he has like the fire of a sun go on his spacesuit. Space suit. But he's fine. Yeah,

Turning Passengers Into A Horror Film

SPEAKER_02

he's okay. Let me can I throw can I pitch a movie to you? Well, I I mean my pitch would be yeah, they don't have to save the ship. We we we have they have to live their lives out together.

SPEAKER_01

That's great. I mean, uh, that's more interesting, obviously. Yeah, what'd you do? Here's my pitch. Okay. We start with Jennifer Lawrence waking up. Oh, yeah, yeah. Chris Pratt. Yeah, yeah. We shouldn't know everything. We should learn throughout this movie with Lawrence Fishburn that this guy woke her up. That's crazy. And then Lawrence Fishburne's figuring it out, and Chris Pratt's being creepy behind him, and then he's he's like, Oh shit, did you wake her up? I gotta tell her. He's like, I can't let you tell her. He kills Lawrence Fishburn, right? I mean, like, this movie should be a horror movie because that's what it is, and yet somehow it's a romance movie, and that's crazy. That is not city. So that's my pitch. We wake up with Jennifer Lawrence, we don't know what's going on, and we're we think he's telling us the truth, and we find out throughout the movie, well, this guy's a creepy liar.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and he fit he and more importantly, he fakes it all, right? He was awake for he was awake for a year, but then we don't know that he cleans it all up, right? He's he's like, Scoop, scoop, scoop, and she wakes up and he acts like he's he's like, whoa, we're where are we? What's going on?

SPEAKER_01

But he knows everything, and she slowly pieces it together throughout the movie, like that's a movie I want to see.

SPEAKER_02

This is not a movie I want to see.

SPEAKER_01

Because there is literally no tension, you don't care about people, and which is crazy in a movie that this guy wakes her up just to have sex with it. That's insane. There should be a lot of t she's totally into it, she's not, she's barely mad at all. No, that's wild.

SPEAKER_02

Well, I think there's also a thing in this movie where she's terrible too, really.

SPEAKER_01

Sure, sure. She's clearly a very selfish person. I I get that, but I she he's it's unforgivable. It's creepy, it's weird, it's unforgivable. I you know, that's how I feel. I mean, can't you fall in love with your stalker? I mean, I guess it happens, right? I would say you shouldn't. You know, maybe probably not a good idea. Caution.

SPEAKER_02

Probably won't be a good idea. But I can. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

We're watching one of these true crime ones where this guy murders his wife. And he's completely crazy. And then he like films her like constantly, and you know, before he murders her, and then you know, the police get all the tapes, and the tapes totally incriminate him, but he's so crazy. Oh my god. He doesn't realize that you know, he he thinks the tapes like exonerate him because she wasn't being nice to him.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, this is my defense. Okay, look how mean she is to me when I'm plotting to kill her. Look at this.

SPEAKER_02

The best one is she's laying in bed trying to sleep, and he's like sitting on the side of the bed filming her, and he's like giving her grief. Where were you? What what were you doing? Why why don't you love me? You know how much I love you. You're just like, oh my god. Oh no. I mean, because you put yourself in that, you know, where the per crazy person is. You're trying, I'm just trying to sleep.

SPEAKER_01

Please just let me already please leave me alone. I just want to get through this. Okay, passengers. Yay, passengers. Oh, wait, one last thing I want to bring up. Yeah, the biggest laugh of the movie is the final credits because fourth billing is Andy Garcia, who is in this movie for a grand total of 22 seconds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they pay him his quote? Did he get like a million dollars just to come do the he don't even think he says anything? I think he just looks. He opens the door and he's like, trees. Million dollars. That's a great day.

SPEAKER_02

Whatever money, whatever money he made, even if it wasn't a million dollars, $50,000, $20,000, $20,000 worth your time.

SPEAKER_01

Sure, for 10 minutes of

Avalon Life Bartender And Broken Logic

SPEAKER_01

work. Yeah, unbelievable. I loved it. Passengers.

SPEAKER_02

Here we are. We're on a spaceship, the Avalon. It's going to the Colony World Homestead 2. It's on idopilot, crew of 258, still not quite sure where why we were never able to wake up any of the crew. Well, we got, I mean, we can wait until Lawrence Fishburne wakes up. Does he explain why he didn't wake up? Because one of the crew, Lawrence Fishburne plays one of the crew who wakes up accidentally.

SPEAKER_01

Why didn't he just wake up the other day? This is why it's confusing because he's they say he's trying to get into the crew quarters and he can't. That's the door he can't open. But then when Lawrence Fishburne wakes up, you're like, well, hold on a second, because he's crew, but he's not in that room. So then when they open the door, Lawrence Fishburne's like, no, this is flight crew. I'm deck crew or something like that. And it yeah, it's like, okay, so there's different crews, so he could have woke up any of the crew members that wake up all the time. Why doesn't he wake up all the deck? It's so confused. Yeah, it it's so confusing. Lawrence Fishman should have just come out of that room. Like that should have just he should have just walked out of that room. That would have solved that problem because it's very confusing that he spends a year trying to get into this room, but then there's crew everywhere. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_02

No, he well, he was trying to get on the bridge.

SPEAKER_01

But that's that's where the flight crew is, right? I don't think so. Well, I don't know. I'm confused. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

The point being is he's he's crew, you know, and it's like I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00

There's plenty of people to wake up.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. And that's the other thing about this movie that doesn't make a lot of sense. It's like, I'm sorry, if I'm here alone, I'm I'm going to share the burden. I'm going to find five people, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Are they all gonna be hot, Dan? Is that kind of where your head's at as well? Or, you know. Well, I mean, there is a word in it, the word is harem, you know.

SPEAKER_02

That's the word of the day, everybody. No, but I I mean, I I don't know. I I I'm just not, you know, if you think something's going on, you know, and you just say, well, my thing is malfunctioning. I'm I'm worried that they, you know, as soon as you see one malfunctioning, you're gonna be like, okay, there's there's something going on. You're you're gonna take some action.

SPEAKER_01

You're what you should do is wake up crew. What you shouldn't do is wake up a fellow passenger who also can't fix the ship. I mean, it turns out they can both fix the ship just fine.

SPEAKER_02

But in one of the things, she she never does any fixing. In all the fixing problems, he's all like, Well, we gotta do this, this, this. And she's all like, you mean you gotta you gotta push that one lever? He's like, Yes, that's the lever, that's the magic lever you gotta push.

SPEAKER_01

Do it, just pull it down. You know, it's hot, put your shirt around it. Now, the one thing I agree with with him on this is that she's a gold member status or whatever they call it. So her meal is better. If he would have just picked someone from like a higher tier to get better food, that I would agree with. I'd be like, Yep, 100% wake them all up. As far as I'm concerned, you gotta get better food. That food's terrible.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, and and you would, you know, if you did only have access to the passengers, you would look through all the passengers and you would find somebody like me that's really smart who's gonna be able to figure how to get through the doors.

SPEAKER_01

But he is he's an engineer. Is there anyone smarter than an engineer in the passengers? I don't know. He's going there to build a house. He's not really an engineer. But that's what he says, right? Doesn't he say he's like maybe he's a structural engineer and not like a I don't know. It's all weird. It's all weird.

SPEAKER_02

He has a lot more skills than he really should. You know, 100%.

SPEAKER_01

Like, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Boom, it's on autopilot. Unfortunately, flies right through a but asteroid field, asteroid field, boom, boom, boom, and then boom, here we go. James Preston, also known as Jim, wakes up. He's like groggy, oh, what's happening? I can't find anyone else. Hello, hello. The computer's like, it's an emergency. The bridge is empty, the observatory. Then he asks questions and he finds out it's 90 years till they get to where they're supposed to be going. He's supposed to wake up four months before. So he's all like, What? What's happening?

SPEAKER_01

Oh no. Honestly, fun setup. I like so far, I like the movie. We're two minutes into it, give or take. I like it. I think that's a fun setup, and then you ruin it. You just you absolutely ruin it. You don't you don't deal with any of the right stuff.

SPEAKER_02

Spaceship looks good, space looks good. Absolutely. Um, it's gonna be interesting.

SPEAKER_01

I guess Chris Pratt looks pretty good because this must have been like Guardians of the Galaxy era, because he is he's pretty trim. So yeah. How terrible is he? At acting, yeah, he's really bad. I don't want to be listening I think that he can be charming and funny, just based on you know that television show he was in. Um but boy is he a dullard. Uh, in in the two things that we've watched recently, just really poor, you know, really bad stuff. I don't there's a moment where he's apologizing to her over the comms system. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it just feels like he's reading lines off of a piece of paper.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, you didn't you didn't know.

SPEAKER_01

And that's gotta be a pretty emo like the the weight is pretty, we're at the peak of like, oh, you just found out that he woke you up and used you, and you're he's it's it should be emotional. There's nothing. It's at a zero.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, I'm gonna tell you something else.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, give me a shit.

SPEAKER_02

I was thinking about this movie. Yeah. What I remembered was that he put a baby in her, and then he he sacrifices himself, and then she grows up with the baby, and then they live out their lives together. That's what I remember the thing as a movie was.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think I hate that. I think that's better than unless he put the baby in her before he woke her up, and then it's a problem, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Tony.

SPEAKER_01

You're gonna get mad at me. This guy wakes up a woman uh in the middle of space. Are you gonna get mad at me about it?

SPEAKER_02

That's unbelievable. Um, his one companion is the Android bartender, played by Michael Sheen, who great, you know, he just he does his thing, get duck, gets his jokes, and he's got a couple of jokes.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, thank god. Yeah, you know, that's it makes it more watchable. Um, I did want him to go full dark. That's what I was hoping. You mean you want to I wanted him to be part of the problem. I I wanted him to be like turning be like hey, fuck these humans. I'm gonna kill everybody. I just really wanted it.

SPEAKER_02

Who does he want?

SPEAKER_01

Wait, he wants to kill all the humans? All the humans, yeah. He's yeah, he yeah, that would be cool.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, like you know, that's the other thing is maybe he could have set all this up.

SPEAKER_01

That's what I'm saying. Like, because there's a moment where we're we're passing him by and he's in the bar in the background and he looks angry. Oh, and I was like, why does he look angry? That's interesting. Like he's putting on a facade when the humans are here, but he's re he doesn't like these people up. It turns out none of that's right. I was projecting that, but I thought that would be a fun turn of events.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, he goes to the men's hall, he can't get the fancy food, he has to get the crappy food.

SPEAKER_01

That's the worst part of the whole thing.

SPEAKER_02

Uh he finds a manual, he tries to hack into a pod, tries to go back to sleep, sort of traps himself for a second, and then he gets himself.

SPEAKER_01

And then it just opens. I that was very confusing because he looks like he's panicking, but then it just slides right open. It's fine. Don't worry about it. He doesn't need to engineer anything, he's fine.

SPEAKER_02

They're like, well, what can we do that would make it show that he's smart to get out of there? Everyone's like, I can't think anything. Okay, just let him out after it. Just push it. It's fine. Tries to break into the crew room, can't get in there. And then the bartend, you know, then the bartender's like, make the most of what you can do. So he finds the biggest suite. Don't know why you have a giant suite on the thing where you people aren't gonna really be spending time in the suites, but whatever.

SPEAKER_01

Four months, four months of it.

SPEAKER_02

That's yeah, four months is four months. Plays basketball, eats food. That's that's cool. That was you really that was the point you really liked.

SPEAKER_01

I love the basketball. I would do the same. I thought that was really fun. I also liked the dance-off game machine, whatever that is. It's like a DDR, but you know, virtual reality. I thought that was pretty fun. Now, here's my question. Sorry, sorry. I'm just thinking out loud. But here's my question. Yeah, question. So he makes a point where in the cafeteria he can only get the poor man's food. Yes. But then he eats everything on the ship during this montage. He's eating sushi from a restaurant. What's happening here? Just is he the poor person or is he not? Because he's going ham and he's eating whatever he wants. I'm very confused on the rules.

SPEAKER_02

I thought there was a line where they were gonna charge him money. And he's like, okay, fine, just charge.

SPEAKER_01

That's true, that's true. Because at one point they're like, that'll be six thousand dollars or something like that. So I guess, okay, I see what you're saying. So that that the crew meal thing is is free and everything else you have to pay for. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

So I don't know. All right. Um he grows a beard, he drinks a lot, he becomes a filthy animal, and is walking around naked.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah, that's funny, right? That's funny. Why put on clothes if you don't need to, you know?

SPEAKER_02

You put on clothes so that you you you engage with. The world's human.

SPEAKER_01

Like you're serious. Yeah. I know I'm listening I don't walk around naked, but that's mostly because I'm ashamed.

SPEAKER_02

So Tony every human body is beautiful.

SPEAKER_01

Ah I'm gonna disagree with you, but I love that that's that's a good thing to say.

SPEAKER_02

Shannon watches this Chinese channel, this guy that talks about China.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

And they have all these beauty people over there that want to like look like they're you know 14 years old.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. They inject the glass skin effects and stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

They inject this shit into their faces and it like makes their face look good, but it's like it's actually like a cell, and then it starts to grow. And so these people grow giant foreheads, and then the giant foreheads collapse, and then they have big dits in their heads. But it's like it's like it's like living materials, so you can't, you know, it's not like something you can take out.

SPEAKER_01

Or like the or like silicon or whatever. Yeah. That's that's horrible. That's that's the scariest thing I've ever heard.

SPEAKER_02

If you and and this guy comes out with new shows every week, and you like the new one of the new things is they 3D print plastic stuff and then they they screw it into their faces so that you know, like they bulge air and bolts. Screw it onto the bone? Yeah, screw it onto the bone. What the hell? Yeah, if you watch this show, it's horrifying. I I I usually usually have to leave the room.

SPEAKER_01

It's so horrible. I'm not gonna watch that. Shannon, don't watch that. It's very that's no good. What is what's going on with people that that's where I don't sorry, my head's I can't think. That's terrible.

SPEAKER_02

Living in a crazy world. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So he finds- We are living in a crazy world.

SPEAKER_02

He finds some spacesuits, he goes on a spacewalk, and then I think he thinks about killing himself.

SPEAKER_01

He definitely thinks about it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And then he's running and he trips on a bottle, and lo and behold, there in one of the the uh freezer tubes, cryotubes, the sexiest woman in the world.

SPEAKER_01

Just six to midnight, you know what I mean? That's it's just weird, man.

SPEAKER_02

He watches videos of her, he she's a writer, so he reads all of her stuff.

SPEAKER_01

He's like How does he have access to all the crew knowledge? What? Like, this stuff's just public knowledge, you can just creep on anyone in the ship? I don't believe that. Then he begins to- I don't believe that's a thing.

SPEAKER_02

He begins to obsess over her in his own filth. He's laying in his own filth thinking about her.

SPEAKER_01

Classic man right there, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

He wrestles with the mortality of it with the bartender Arthur.

SPEAKER_00

Slap that much, though.

SPEAKER_01

He tries to move on. You know, hold on. He slaps Michael, right? He slaps the robot? Yeah, he slaps the robot. And he's like, you can't even feel that.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What because he feels he's feeling so hard.

SPEAKER_02

He's feeling so hard right now. One of us is getting very phlemmy. Um he shaves,

Waking Aurora And The Secret Spills

SPEAKER_02

and then they they play, and then he goes and he does all, you know, he knows how to wake her up, he does all the stuff, and then has to, you know, barely has time to hide his toolbox, and out she comes, and they play like magical music while he while she's waking up.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know. I don't know if that's appropriate music to be playing. It's not. It it's all weird. This is all weird. So it should be horror music because he's a he's a monster.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so she wakes up, she like wanders around just like he did, and then they run into each other, and then he's like, Oh my god, you're awake, I was awake, oh my god, then we can't go back to sleep, and then she panics, she freaks out, runs there, finds the bartender, and he'd already swore the bartender to secrecy. And he's oh, he's like, goes to the bartender, he's like, Don't you tell her. Then he ends up telling her.

SPEAKER_00

Don't you do it.

SPEAKER_01

Well, because so yes, but I actually like that because it's very funny. That's not funny, but it's very interesting the way they do it. Because they're on like a date, and Chris Pratt says, There are no secrets between me and her. Um it's like, oh, really? And he's like, Yep, you better believe it. Then goes to the bathroom. He's like, Well, I guess she knows because there are no secrets, because he takes things literally because he's a robot.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, so he blew it.

SPEAKER_01

He blew it.

SPEAKER_02

That was I'm sure I'm sure when they were writing the script, they were like, Oh, we're so clever, dude. I didn't even notice it. I was like, hey, he's blowing them up. We're so clever.

SPEAKER_01

I love this stuff.

SPEAKER_02

So she's get she's mad, but she's also hungry, so he we also see things are breaking down, but they go to the breakfast place and we find out that she's like a high class level person, so she can get whatever food, but then she gives him food. They go to the infirmary. There's a there's a uh one one single med pod for of uh uh 5,000 people. That seems crazy.

SPEAKER_01

But okay. No, don't say okay, that's insane. No, one'll do. One'll do. Okay, that's great stuff, guys. 5,000 people. It's just like America, right? 5,000 people need to get it.

SPEAKER_02

We only need one hospital in America, right? Yeah, that's enough. Everyone can go, everyone can just line up. Um she rages uh on the crew door because he couldn't get it open, but she thinks if she rages on it, she can get it open. And then Jim sees a cleaning bot malfunctioning. Shouldn't that have been the point where where they started thinking something's going on?

SPEAKER_01

You would think somebody should think that. Uh, but no. And there was a there's a couple things. Like there's a lights flash at one point. There's like a there's a couple things. Yeah, they should probably pay attention. But they they don't. No, he's a bit of a horn dog, Dan, so he's he's only thinking one thing. All right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Uh she starts riding and jogging and swimming, and she's she's the pool's cool.

SPEAKER_01

Pool's very cool. I just want to throw that out. That's a cool set. Like, I liked that. Uh, that was cool.

SPEAKER_02

Also, in my memory, I had her had him perving on her in the pool.

SPEAKER_01

He does at one point, very briefly.

SPEAKER_02

I I I had I had an extended scene in my brain where he perved on her in the pool.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe you saw the the director's cut of the movie. Maybe that's what happened the first time.

SPEAKER_02

It is interesting how your brain, you know, you see so much stuff, it loses certain things. Certain things disappear.

SPEAKER_01

And you, I mean, you're just kind of extrapolating what they're kind of giving. Because he does leer on her for a little bit. And then there's a we where she kind of waves or smiles or something, and he waves back and is like, nope, that's creepier than you're letting it be. That's the problem with this movie. They downplay screams. First of all, where's he going? This is a huge ship. What? He just happens to be walking by the pool while she's swimming? I don't think so. That's on purpose. This is a huge ship.

SPEAKER_02

Um, she doesn't have anyone to interview, so she's gonna interview him. Why did you do it? And he's like, I wanted a fresh start, and colonies have problems to solve. I want to build a house, I want room to grow.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Do you buy it?

SPEAKER_02

I guess do you buy it?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, no, not really, but I I have nothing else to go on because so at there's like a video where they show like Earth's overpopulated. And I'm like, Yeah, it makes sense. Get out. They start falling in love. Wrong. Not you, just what's happening.

SPEAKER_02

Then she's like, I can read people, and then he takes her into the the the pods, and she's all like, Well, what's this guy? What is he? And she he that she expects to be able to see an inert person to be able to read anything about right.

SPEAKER_01

That's not what reading people that's called being a psychic. That's different than reading people. Yes. This was my one of my least favorite scenes because I was like, this is the dumbest thing anyone could possibly do.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, well, it's sort of a scam trick to try to put him on the same level as her. Sure, yeah, sure. Yep. Because yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't prove what what they're trying to say is proves.

SPEAKER_01

It's dumb.

SPEAKER_02

It's that, you know, if she sees an inert person, you know, it's like Sherlock Holmes is, you know, that's a scam. It's a scam that a writer does, where he he inserts a bunch of clues and then has the guy read the clues, right? Correct.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's real weird.

SPEAKER_02

Boom. Uh boom boom boom boom boom. They do Dance Dance Revolution. Very fun. Love it. They play basketball, they go to the bar, they watch movies, they hang out with Arthur. Um pretty fun. Yeah. They're falling in love.

SPEAKER_01

It's beautiful. There's really, yeah, I mean, I'm just saying, like, I feel like I, if there were video games, I think I could make it. I think I would have been fine. I don't need anybody else. I'm all good. I got movies, I got a bar, I got video games, and I got basketball. What else do you need, Chris Pratt? Robot bartender, you're good. Right? All good. I mean, he could probably like modify the bartender, right? Do you mean sexually? Is that where you're going? Because I'll take a little bit of that, you know. Good looking dude.

SPEAKER_02

You're such a weirdo. Um, and after she leaves the bar one time, the bartender is like, excellent choice.

SPEAKER_01

Such a creepy line. Excellent choice. Uh like, yeah, you had to pick of the litter, and he picked it, he picked a good one. You know, you could have woken up any woman and she'd fall in love with you, but you picked a good one. No, unbelievable. Did he make her the model of the building? Great question. Don't know the answer. I I assume yes, but we don't see that part, or we don't see him leave it. Well, he was he was just there.

SPEAKER_02

He was working on something. Oh, was he? Yeah, he was working. I wrote he's working on something, and then there's the model. And I was like, So I guess that's context clues, but I didn't get it. And I mean, did that model relate to anything about her?

SPEAKER_01

It must. I wonder if it was something in her file where like she likes this building. I don't know. It was weird. I do. I was like, uh But wouldn't that be creepy? She has to know that he went through all her files at some point. Yeah. The fact that that never comes up is very strange.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um, well, he does tell her that he read all her stuff. He does, he does spell that.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I thought he meant like her writings. Yeah. But you're I think you're right. Yeah, he read all her books.

SPEAKER_02

You know, while she was asleep and he was masturbating to her. Um he creeps on her while swim while she's swimming, and then he makes the makes the peeping robot to invite her to dinner.

SPEAKER_01

Um nefarious. You have you know that this is not the only time he's using that robot.

SPEAKER_02

They get to the bar, um and uh he's dressed up and she's she's dressed up, and uh should she be dressed up?

SPEAKER_01

Well, she's in love with him, so I guess yes.

SPEAKER_02

I guess she is in love with him.

SPEAKER_01

Um doesn't make sense, no.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay. Um, and then he takes her on a spacewalk, and then we do a whole thing where she has she's like, turn around. I don't want you to see me take off my dress as I get into as I get nude into a spacesuit? I don't believe you go in.

SPEAKER_01

Why would you do that?

SPEAKER_02

I think you wear like I think there's something you want to wear something underneath there.

SPEAKER_01

You don't want a hundred, yeah. You don't want it that that material, not comfortable. No, you don't want that rubbing against your skin. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

He turns around, then there's like a nice effect shot of them going out.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, and then they do a spin in space, and then as they come back in, they take off their their helmets, and then they they're they're doing it. That's what later's like funny.

SPEAKER_01

This was a funny moment when they're trying to kiss in the in the yeah, the the neck pieces are too big. That was that was a cute little moment, I thought.

SPEAKER_02

Then he in the morning he makes the mistake of saying, You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You don't want to say that. Don't say it's too early to say that.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it's day four. I we don't really know how long it's been, I guess, because time is pretty fluid in this movie.

SPEAKER_02

It's it's not it's not six months, it's like a month.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's soon. Yeah. But in his defense, you know, he's been uh, you know, uh staring at her for over a year. So really it's been a while.

SPEAKER_02

Um they have sex in the mess hall. After the sex, she's still not satisfied. I mean, I think that's more of a global as opposed to a sexual. Um this is the honeymoon. They they they're happy. He's reading her stuff as she works on it, they're learning to play the piano. Uh, bub bup. He gives her roses. They go.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think that you should probably do that. You should get the rose. For the new world. Well, you shouldn't take the plants out of their hibernation thingies because now you don't have plants for the new world. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, they do this slingshot around the sun. Happy birthday. There's a birthday cake, and then this is the point at which the, you know, he's like, I don't have I did write down the no secrets. And then he goes to get the ring ready, and then the bartender's like, Jim was so looking forward to meeting you. And then he comes back in and she's like, Did you wake me up? He says, Yes, since she has a panic attack.

SPEAKER_01

She's this is the only thing I knew. Oh, sorry, go.

SPEAKER_02

She's a good actress. That was a that was a real passion. She's a great actress. Yeah, no, she's wonderful, she's awesome. And she smoke, she is smoking hot in this movie.

SPEAKER_01

Is there a movie that you you find at the other? It doesn't really matter.

SPEAKER_02

She's yeah, she's she's phenomenally attractive. And he you know, Chris Pratt, who was kind of at the height of his thing, seems like a schlub around her.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, he is which was kind of his charm, I guess. I don't know. There was a moment in time where that was that was uh considered attractive. I think we've moved past that, thankfully, and we're back to like, oh, why don't we just have conventionally attractive people do stuff, Glenn Powell? You know what I mean? So I think we're back where we should be. But there was a moment we were like, what about these goofy looking guys? They're cool, they're cute too, right? I don't know what happened. It's weird, but I think we've we've come back. Okay, we we were cured of that. But so this is this is the only thing I knew from this movie was this moment because

The Reveal Fight With No Real Stakes

SPEAKER_01

this is like a very popular meme where like uh you know that my wife sends me where like the husband wakes up the wife, you know, with I in my case, snoring, and then she's very upset. And so, like, you know, they send it, and I was like, I I know this scene. Wait, oh, you mean when she attacks him in his sleep? No, no, no. When it's did she wake me up? Oh, I see.

SPEAKER_02

Just that line. That line.

SPEAKER_01

Just that line. So that's like that's the only thing I knew from this movie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So did you know he she he was gonna intentionally wake her up and she was not gonna be happy about it? That was gonna be a serious.

SPEAKER_01

I thought it was gonna be more important if I'm being honest. Because I feel like we don't really it you deal with it a little. She's a little upset. You know, she's like a little upset, but not that upset. She's pretty upset. She breaks she beats him up the one time, but that you know, that's it.

SPEAKER_02

She breaks stuff, she moves out, and then she wakes him in his sleep and then picks up something ready to kill him.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, very that's just that's a scary moment, you know. You don't want to wake up to that.

SPEAKER_02

She really should have killed him. Right? Yeah. She should have busted his head in and then freaked out and then had to drag him down to the the med pod. Yeah. That would have caught that would have made things really interesting, wouldn't it? If he's you know walking around black and blue for a little while. Yeah. You know, and then she's fine. No, they don't do anything like that. Nope. Um, and then she she yells at him. Oh, he the the apology on the speaker.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's no good.

SPEAKER_02

You saved my life. I read your stuff and I fell in love with you. I don't care. You took my life.

SPEAKER_01

It's a pretty good summation.

SPEAKER_02

No, wait, did she already explain why she was here and I just skipped it or missed it? She must have.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. So it's something her she's a writer, and her dad had a bunch of adventures, so she's like, I want an adventure. That's it.

SPEAKER_02

So she's gonna go to sleep, go all the way to the this thing, and live there only a year, and then catch catch the ship back, which I don't believe there would be a ship going back.

SPEAKER_01

Why would there be? You don't you don't reverse colonize? I don't I don't know if that's the right terminology, but it is this is for sure a one-way trip. This isn't like a weekend holiday. This isn't, you know, you book a vacation and you fly 90 years. That's crazy. She would she's done. This is a one-way trip. You're colonizing another planet. End of story, that's where you live.

SPEAKER_02

Very confused. I think they'd already been flying for 150 years. I think it's like it like 200, 250 years, right?

SPEAKER_01

Uh yeah, whatever it is. All everyone you know is dead. So get over it. All very dead.

SPEAKER_02

So, okay. So boom. They start. There's now now the systems, ship systems are glitching everywhere, and there's like critical errors. Still, they're not really doing anything.

SPEAKER_01

They don't care.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um, and they've split up Arthur so they go back and forth, you know, and they they don't get to arthro together. And then to try to make her happy, he has planted a tree in the middle of the concourse.

SPEAKER_00

How?

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean is there soil underneath? He'd have to put soil. He'd have to put soil in.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Where? It looks like it's coming out of the ground.

SPEAKER_02

Am I crazy? Well, I mean, there's there's gonna be a subfloor, and you know, if he kind of gets in there and so there's no electrical components down there, so you tell me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

He probably figured out where there weren't, you know, he probably looked at his an engineer. That's an engineer. That's a good point. Yeah, he's full-on engineering. And then later, when the whole place is turned into the Garden of Eden, that doesn't make sense either, Dan. He's just trying to show that he cares. In the way that you want, which is I shouldn't shit on it. I'm sorry. He's trying.

SPEAKER_02

The best way to show someone you care is by doing external things that don't affect them that show that you're whatsoever. Yeah. Right? Yeah, perfect. Yeah, you nailed it. Proof of your personal obsessive nature is always the way to get a girl to love you.

SPEAKER_01

Every day, you better believe it. Everyone listen to Dan. He knows what he's doing.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, the elevator breaks down, he easily gets out. The Captain Crunch spews all over the floor.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I thought he was gonna get snapped in half by that elevator because it he drops him to the floor, but then it's fine. Then it's fine.

SPEAKER_02

Nobody ever treats getting out of a fucked up elevator with the proper level of absolute fear of that transition from being to be mayor.

SPEAKER_01

It's horrifying. 100%. Except for speed. Speed does a good job. Do they do that in the beginning part?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. They do a good job.

SPEAKER_02

It is it once again, it's one of those fears that I think most all normal people, all intelligent people have. You know, it's like, yeah, God, what did I see? Oh, there's this uh viral video where this lady's getting on the elevator with her little dog, they get split up, so the dog is outside, the lady starts going up, the dog is like, and a person outside has to rescue the dog from being squunched. It's a horrifying video.

SPEAKER_01

No, thank you. Thank God that it's ends okay. Yes, but no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02

And that's the thing is you know, even if this isn't a horror movie, you've set up these, you've set up a number of horror situations, right? You're alone and you're trapped in one of those pods, you're gonna freak out.

SPEAKER_01

And you sh there's this should be a horror movie. It's the fact that they are so nonchalant and just like we're loving each other, it's crazy. Yeah. It's a dumb movie.

SPEAKER_02

Dumb movie. Um, okay. So boom, Gus

Gus Wakes And The Ship Starts Failing

SPEAKER_02

wakes up. Here comes Gus. Who planted a tree on my ship? So he's the third pod failure. He gets onto the bridge, looks for the navcom. It's okay. He doesn't see any diagnostics problems, but he is not well. And then and then Chris Pratt's like, he's like, is anything going wrong? He's like, well, there's been 15 broken robots. And he's just like, what the fuck? What are you talking about? Because they set up early that's bad. That everybody knows that none of these pods have ever broken down. So it's like, if if 15 robots have broken down on this perfect ship, that means you got a problem.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um Gus is not well. Um and then at the pods, there's a clock. The clock is messed up. And oh, he figures out that he figures out that he woke up Aurora. That's what it is. Gus figures out that he woke up Aurora.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And it again, it's set up like a horror because he checks all the pods.

SPEAKER_02

He gets to her pod, and he's all like, bro.

SPEAKER_01

This is something's different here. And Chris Pratt is leering in the background, which is what should happen. And then basically Lord's Fish. That's what I'm saying. Like there has to be there, or at least some tension. He doesn't have to kill him. I would prefer he did, but he doesn't have to kill him. But there needs to be tension. It's not just like, did you wake her up? I did. That's pretty messed up, dude. High five. All right, let's go. I don't there's no tension here. How is there no tension in this scene?

SPEAKER_02

And then uh Gus gets down to where Aurora is, and then she bitches about him waking her up, and she's all like, it's murder.

SPEAKER_01

And and but that was but as like a nagg girlfriend. You know what I mean? Like, oh, he went out with his friends again last night. Like, that's the vibe I'm getting. It's what is happening? She should be livid. Why are we minimizing this to make it like this weird relationship problem? This is big.

SPEAKER_02

See, I I thought I see, but see, I thought her reaction was correct for her character, who is this sort of self-centered person who really is just happy that she has someone to bitch about it about. Wham, wham, wham, me, me, me. You need to exp you need to say that you're on my side of this fight. Because that's how that's sort of how stupid these two characters are. You're not like rooting for either one of them. You're like, eh, good for each other. No, not at all.

SPEAKER_01

No, I don't like either people. That's true.

SPEAKER_02

And poor Gus is like dying. And he's just like horribly, by the way. It's really bad. It's really bad. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um that's my favorite part of the movie, by the way, when it comes up. When they're in the med bay. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02

And then he's like, it ain't right, but this boy's drowning. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um Right. Nope. Sorry. I have no empathy for that. Sorry. So Gus is sick, so he's like, I gotta go take a break.

SPEAKER_02

Aurora, what does she do? She goes swimming. And then the gravity gets lost, and then she's trapped in a bubble of water, and you're like, Oh, Chris is gonna come and save her. No, she just has to save herself.

SPEAKER_01

Nope, not at all.

SPEAKER_02

He's not helpful at all.

SPEAKER_01

She just basically almost drowns.

SPEAKER_02

Don't worry about it. Uh, they find Gus, and then he's like, we gotta find it and fix it. And then he crashes. So they take him to the med bay and put him in the thing, and they're like, 612 disorders found.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, this is my favorite part of the movie. Okay, so Gus, the only guy in a real world situation that could save anybody, is in this pod. The thing scans him, it's like, you're dead. Uh 600, whatever. And then he asks, How bad is it? And I don't remember what Chris Pratt says, but it's something flippant and on the on the lines of like, well, it's not great. That's it. That's the amount of weight you're gonna give this situation. This guy just found out he's dying horribly. He's the only person that can save you, and you're just like, sorry, better luck next time, buddy. This is ridiculous. Absolutely nonsensical.

SPEAKER_02

So then he's like, I need a minute, and so he just wanders off. I'm like, wait a second. I'm sorry, you don't get a minute. The ship is blowing up. He doesn't get a minute, you don't get a minute to collect yourself.

SPEAKER_01

Also, can't this pod save him? Isn't that what it's for? I mean, it's too much. Or is it literally just to tell you what's wrong?

SPEAKER_02

I think it's because it says it's 612 problems. I think that's why it's like 612.

SPEAKER_01

It's too many. It's too many. It's just too many problems. If it was under 600, I could do it, but my hands are tied. Sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, what it should what it should have been was the pod can save him, but it's gonna take it two days. And so you don't have the time. Yeah, it should, but instead, he wanders off, they let him wander off, and then then they find him later, you know, looking out the porthole, and he's all like dressed, dressed, he's dressed up all fancy, and he's all like, well, you two take care of each other, I'm gonna just sit here and die. But here's my here's my badge.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and he tells them to fix it, right? Doesn't he say fix the ship as if they wouldn't know how to do that? That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02

So, but they he kind of told them they have to go to the these these these whatchamacalls and check them. And so they go and they do that, and then like literally the second they've been checking them for like seemingly like a day or two or something. Yeah, and then the second one they check, they're like, oh, this is the problem. And so we do like an explosive decompression thing, which was was very much not fun, not fun uh interesting. It was just like what's happening?

Reactor Fixes And A Too Easy Finale

SPEAKER_02

Then they solve that. Then it turns out they they figure out that it was the meteors, and then they get into this reactor, and then they the first thing they have to do is he's like, I gotta reboat the computer because this one thing is broken, so he's like, I'm gonna pull it out, and then it's gonna get crazy, and he pulls it out, and then she hands him the other one and he puts it in.

SPEAKER_01

Well, but they both pretend like something's gonna happen. Does that help? Because she says she says the line hurry at some point. I don't, I didn't feel like we needed to hurry. It felt pretty, pretty under control, but she says hurry.

SPEAKER_02

There wasn't like there was no way to do it much quicker. It was pull a thing out, put a new thing in. That's it.

SPEAKER_01

I'm moving, I'm doing it. Um get off my back, lady.

SPEAKER_02

Shut up. I'm doing it. Shut up. That's what I would have said.

SPEAKER_01

And that's backseat driver.

SPEAKER_02

The whole thing is you have to have them in conflict during you have to have some concept. Something.

SPEAKER_01

Anything. Anything should be happening.

SPEAKER_02

So the outdoor the outdoors, we we we go through 12 different things with the outer door. Well, this is wrong with the outer door, that's wrong with the outer door, boo-ba-boo, boo-bao boo. He's like, I gotta go out there and I have to climb, you know, 16 miles, and somehow I'll get there. And do it manually, because he knows somehow they they can do it manually. Yeah, no, and he doesn't read a book, he just like, you know, there's a manual override.

SPEAKER_01

So basically Well, he's an engineer, so he knows that there's overrides on doors.

SPEAKER_02

So she's like, Jim, come back to me. I can't live on the ship without you. Why can't she go wake somebody else up too?

SPEAKER_01

That was my whole I was just just wake somebody else up. Who cares? Just keep the cycle of abuse, just keep going.

SPEAKER_02

The cycle of abuse. One of my favorite um SNL sketches is uh the rock when he makes the child molesting robot. Oh god. And he's like, Well, how do you teach it to be the child? And then he's like, Well, you know, I do it to him. And then you're just like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00

Cycle abuse, baby. That's what it's all about. It's so horrible. That is that is a that's a good sketch, though. Dark, but good.

SPEAKER_02

He goes on the space chute, it's getting really hot, so she's taking off her clothes.

SPEAKER_01

Enjoyable. Yeah, I'm fine. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but that's fine.

SPEAKER_02

So he goes out there, he's like, Oh, it clicks the door, door shuts, clicks the door, door shuts. He's like, I'm gonna have to stay here. I got this heat shield that I picked up. He does the thing. It's gonna be fine. Here comes all the heat, it's blowing out.

SPEAKER_01

He's like, oh, uh, uh but not because he's hot, just because it's pushing him. It's not that it's heat, it's just the the the pressure that he can't handle. That's it. And then he flies over.

SPEAKER_02

He gets blown out the back of the ship, and he uses the heat shield as a thing so that he throws that off, and the momentum of that carries him away from the engines as he's gonna die. She goes out there, rescues him.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um and she saves him and he apologizes, and then he's all like, I wish we'd have met in 90 years, I'd have built you a house. But he wouldn't have because she'd have been gone in a year.

SPEAKER_01

She wouldn't have even paid him any attention. That's a good point. She was on the next taxi out, buddy.

SPEAKER_02

But she's able to grab his cord, brings him inside, he's dead, but then she uses the override to make him not dead.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_02

And she barely can remember the numbers. Uh Tony, I'm gonna tell you something. If I had to remember a string of eight numbers or letters, you would you're dead. I would I would I would never I I would never remember those numbers. Never in a million years. I I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01

I don't want to hold it against you. I'm sorry, sorry, I got nothing. Uh good luck in the afterlife. Uh why does anybody write anything down? So weird.

SPEAKER_02

Because because that adds reality to a situation if you're actually doing a thing, right? I mean, and that's that's the whole thing about everything is in movies where stuff really happens, people write shit down, they they forget things, they they're affected by things. You know, if she's like has to find a piece of paper where that's written, sure. That's tense. It's gotta do something. It's gotta do something. Let me stand here and go, I can't remember, I can't remember. Oh, yeah, I remember. No, that's that's I got it. Two two one three seven got it. Four. I was at the grocery store and I was I was typing in my uh you know, your your phone number to get your discount.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, to bring up your yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So I type it in and it's like meh, I'm like, oh type it in again. And then the the the lady standing there and she's all like, you're you're in the look up uh look up a code for a piece of fruit. Idiot. That was more exciting than what happened in this part of the movie.

SPEAKER_01

That's pretty funny though. You're looking up fruit right now. You're not doing anything. Oh, damn goods. Um my dad's this is unrelated, other than you know, people are getting old and C9. Oh no, my dad sent me a picture the other day of his feet. He just had two different shoes on. Like it was it was 2 30 in the afternoon, and he I guess he looked down. He's like, Well, fuck, I got two different shoes on. So he sent me a picture.

SPEAKER_02

Sometimes I'm like, oh god, my shirt's on backwards. Or inside out, not backwards. I'll just leave it. Even I'd notice backwards.

SPEAKER_01

Um sure, yeah. Because then you're tags out front, and that's weird, you know?

SPEAKER_02

None of my shirts have tags in them.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you go tagless? I think I'm wearing a tag right now. You have a shirt with a tag? Must be old. They're all my clothes are old. I don't buy new clothes. This is fashion. What's that?

SPEAKER_02

I know. I got salsa on my new shirt. I can't let Shannon know. I'll be dead. That's the end of my life.

SPEAKER_01

This dies with us, everybody. Don't tell Shannon. Dan's got salsa on his shirt. He doesn't want to get in trouble.

SPEAKER_02

So she kisses him, she fixes Arthur's big cut, they bury Gus. And then he figures out with the secret code, with Gus's code, the auto dock could act as a suspension and he could put it back into suspension. And then so this is the ultimate workaround so that she has to stay with him. It's so weird.

SPEAKER_01

It's very weird, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Then they live out the rest of their lives in love.

SPEAKER_01

I know I do have a question real quick. Um so the whole thing is they say the pods keep you asleep, they don't put you to sleep. Yes. But then the med bay could put her to sleep. So couldn't he just put her in a pod then and stay asleep?

SPEAKER_02

It sure seems like you could spend a year or two and figure out the gases and all that and put someone into there and then transfer them into the thing. I would think so. If this thing generates the gas and conditions, it seems like you could vent vent that out to one of the pods and then put yourself in the thing.

SPEAKER_01

Seems like you could do it. I don't know. Just throwing it out there.

SPEAKER_02

Roll the med bay thing into there. Arthur could, you know, push the buttons. Right. Done. You got a robot. This uh yeah, I don't know. This would involve like a making like a thinking man's movie as opposed to a movie where you're trying to act like things are exciting.

SPEAKER_01

But which they are not. They are not exciting. They're not exciting. Um yeah, anyhow, so then you know, they reach their to the four months out or whatever, and everybody wakes up and Andy Garcia sees that there's a jungle on the ship.

SPEAKER_02

So where once there was a tree, now they've they've added all this foliage and chickens, there were chickens running around.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's right. There were chickens. So now uh homestead two gets nothing. So all those people dead because it's uninhabitable now. So don't worry about them.

SPEAKER_02

And they uh and and and she's like, and as they wake up, they're like, this is Aurora's book. I'm gonna tell you what happened with me and Chris Pratt.

SPEAKER_01

And nobody cares. Nobody read it, nobody just deleted it.

SPEAKER_02

I think they probably read it, Tony. I think you're a little mean. So, is this movie super terrible? Not really. It's creepy and weird and not a good movie, but it's not super cheap.

SPEAKER_01

It should be creepy in like a fun way, but it's just creepy in like a way because they don't know what the heff they're doing, and they made a really weird movie. The person that wrote this movie probably has some problems, you know what I'm saying? Um, definitely a stalker has done that in the past. I'm just gonna tell I'm gonna say that right now. I didn't I don't know who wrote it, but they've definitely done that before.

SPEAKER_02

So you're saying that the person that wrote this is definitely a stalker.

SPEAKER_01

That's definitely a stalker. That's their nature, yeah. Yeah, but for sure, because they're they don't point out how weird it is. They're like, this is totally normal, right? Like, people can do that and it's totally fine. Wrong. Everyone should be against this guy. And they're not Lawrence Fishman's like, nah, you know, he was sad. So it's cool that he did that to you. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_02

I've told the story

The Jungle Ending Plus Stalker Stories

SPEAKER_02

of my stalker, right? I don't know. I don't know. Let's tell it again. So we used to have this woman, Heather, who owned this uh this pure white German shepherd, I think it was. Beautiful dog.

SPEAKER_01

Beautiful. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Shannon remembered the name of the dog. I can't remember the name of the dog. So she was obsessed with me. She was obsessed with me. And she would get weird around me. You know, it's like usually people are all like, yeah, usually I'm the weird one. Of course. She'd get weird around me. One time. I've told you the story before because I've told it on here because it's the greatest story ever. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a uh one of those little uh disposable cameras.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. You didn't even notice, did you? It was so quick you didn't even know.

SPEAKER_02

It's like, you know, it's like it's like you just things you ignore in life because it's like, no, I'm not gonna.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you just keep going. Yep, don't I don't want to ask anything about it. I don't want to open up the can of worms. Not gonna I'll just keep going my day.

SPEAKER_02

Not gonna point out what happened. So Shannon and I always imagined that she like took lots of pictures and that she had pictures in her apartment of Shannon with Shannon's eyes crossed out.

SPEAKER_01

X'd out, yeah, for sure. I mean, this is definitely happening. Um she's got a little shrine of you. It's great. She's got your hair and a little doll of some sort, for sure. I'm sure there's a lot of those shrines out there. Um, do you ever have multi-shrine kind of guy? Did you ever have a stalker, Tony? I've I feel bad using the term stalker, but we did call her a stalker in high school because she used to drive by my house all the time.

SPEAKER_02

What do you mean? She used to drive by your house all the time.

SPEAKER_01

She would like drive by my house and then like text me and be like, hey, what are you doing? And then if I didn't, if I told her, I was like, oh, I'm out doing something, but my car was there, she would send me a picture of the car and be like, I don't think so. I think you're home. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on right now? But she was she was a nice kid. She was a nice kid. She was she was nice. So here's what happened. Here's the whole story is we went on a uh field trip with the choir, and she didn't have a lot of friends, and my mom was chafferoni. She was like, You should be nice to this person. Like, okay, cool. So I invited her to be like part of our friend group. Uh she hung out with us for the day, and then she never left me alone for like the next two years. Um, and it was tough. But then she, you know, she went to college and I think she became a mermaid, I think. Uh, like one of those people that like wears a tail and then like swims and does shows. Hold on a second. Yeah. In what state did she become a mermaid? I she's I think she's still in Minnesota. I don't want to say too much, but yeah. Well, because she was you know, she was very nice. Because one of Shannon's friends is was a mermaid. A mermaid? Yeah, in Texas. Yeah, I don't I don't know. I don't know if I get it. I but I it's cool. It's cool if that's what she wanted to do.

SPEAKER_02

She would do like appearances sometimes, you know, and show up and sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, for like a party mermaid. Could she put a mermaid? Yeah, like I saw a picture of this uh lady. She was like in a clam shell in the middle of like a pool. I was like, okay, that's cool. Yeah. I mean, you know, she was probably out of my league if you actually if you think about it nowadays, you know, that's funny. Half human. Um I had great hair in high school in her defense. So it was beautiful. I miss it. Tony.

SPEAKER_02

Anything else to say about this movie?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, no, no. I, you know, it wasn't the worst movie, but I did not, I wouldn't watch it again. I didn't have fun, you know.

SPEAKER_02

It's just well, I mean, I I I had my phone out the whole time I was watching this movie the second time.

SPEAKER_01

For sure.

SPEAKER_02

There was there was not a lot you could miss, you know. Nope. No, not a ton happens. Not a ton happens. Um, Tony, anything you like this week?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, we gotta talk. So there's this show that dropped on, I believe it's Amazon Prime. The boys. That's a question mark. Uh no, we are behind on the boys, and I'm very upset because the supernatural gang got back together for this season, and I need to see the season because it's Jared, Misha, and Jensen all together. It's all three of the big supernatural people. All it's the big three from Supernatural all in the final season. I have not seen it, uh, but I have to.

SPEAKER_02

But do the boys guys have something to do with Supernatural? Is that why they are all there?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, Eric Kritke, the creator of the show, also created supernatural. Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_03

Good for them.

SPEAKER_01

Uh great, great stuff. Anyhow, so this, yes, this is on Prime Video. This is uh a little the little show called Off Campus that just came out. It's uh it's basically a teen record. Romance. It's based on books. It's a hockey romance. And it is spicy, my friend.

SPEAKER_02

Wait, this is good. What's it called? Off campus. Wait, this is different than the other spicy hockey thing.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that one is uh gay. Oh. The other, the other hockey one. This is this is this is funny. I was listening to KDWB because we were back in Minnesota for the week, and the lady was like describing it as the straight, the straight hockey romance. And I was like, that's funny. Because technically off campus is written first. Doesn't really matter. Oh, okay. But uh it just bubbled up with the same same from my understanding, just based on the two women that I talked to, which was my mother and my wife. Uh, hockey romance is apparently big right now. So it's like that's the vibe. Like the big thing in romance right now, hockey. Don't understand it, but this show, pretty great. Um, heated rivalry, that's the other one.

SPEAKER_02

That was the one.

SPEAKER_01

Um, both great. Both great. Um, but this one just came out and it's fun. That's it. What about you?

SPEAKER_02

I've been watching a YouTube show about this pawn shop in Florida, uh, called I think it's called pawn shop pickers. Uh sure. It's it's uh it's fun because they go to garage sales and buy a lot of video games.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that I I'm jealous. I used to do that. Love that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um but the cool thing is is it's like a guy and his dad. They they you know, it's the guy and his his dad has always his dad and his grandpa were both eBay sellers since like the beginning of eBay. Oh wow. And then so he's was an eBay seller, and then they opened this pawn shop, and they deal a lot of gold and silver. But it's really they got this one friend of theirs called Prince, who's like uh Middle Eastern kind of guy.

SPEAKER_00

Sure.

SPEAKER_02

And when you see them like interacting just like as colleagues, it's it's like the it just it it's so nice and fun because when when when you're in your own like element interacting with your colleagues, that's like the most fun in life, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02

You know, it's like back in the old days when we did the improv and we'd all get together and you know, the people that you gelled with, it was just it was super fun because you could just talk you all had this very specific interest, and then everybody else is just sort of on the outside of that. And you know, when you come together and you're like, well, this is going on and that's going on, blah blah blah blah blah blah. And you have your own, I got a hair in my mouth.

SPEAKER_01

Oh boy, look at this.

SPEAKER_02

I can die, Tony. It's not funny. I'm not cutting this out here. Death. Um, but I just love I just love those real actual interactions with colleagues. You're like, sure, you know, everyone else is a freaking Rube, and you know, we got our thing going on here. Tony, we need another, another movie. Hopefully, one that the sad thing about this movie is it wasn't it that that engaging, really. You were just kind of like you couldn't really hate it because the characters were sort of so soppy, you're just like, uh, it was just dumb.

SPEAKER_01

That was that's like my biggest complaint about the movie. It's just kind of dumb.

SPEAKER_02

You know, at least you at least you could kind of hate Marty Supreme. You're like, oh, this guy is odious.

SPEAKER_01

Flying home from Minnesota. The woman next to me was watching Marty Supreme, and the whole time I was like, You're an idiot, lady. Stop watching it. Turn it off, turn it off right now. She didn't, she watched the whole thing. Unbelievable. What do you got? What do you got for us? Yeah, yeah. So uh two weeks ago, two weeks ago now, yeah, because last week I was in Minnesota. Two weeks ago, I got to go to the Milken Conference, um, and I got to shoot some interviews, and one of them was with Shaquille O'Neal.

What We Watch Next And Farewell

SPEAKER_01

Oh sweet man, just a really sweet man. Uh, and uh, and now I'm just you know in the mood for some Shaquille O'Neal. So we're gonna do his 19, what was it, 97? 1997 banger? Where is it? If I had it, I have it pulled up here. 1997 banger steel. Steel.

SPEAKER_02

I've had this on my list. I I almost picked it a few months ago. A few months ago it was queued up, and then something, I think something new came out, and I was like, ah, something dropped always happens.

SPEAKER_01

Well, this will be this will be fun. This could be great. Because the other one, what was it? This is a DC character? I don't even know if I knew that. There was this weird point where I think they killed Superman.

SPEAKER_02

I think it was when they killed Superman. Yep, and then they had four new Superman Superman appear, and I think Steele was one of them. Okay, I think he was one of those four sort of replacement Supermans.

SPEAKER_01

And so then they have the Death of Superman omnibus downstairs. I should read it before we watch this great film.

SPEAKER_02

And then, you know, you you'll know the true lore, and then you'll see what a freaking with Shaq. Which I'm sure it'll be fun because it's Shaq.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's gonna be great.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I was watching one of those, you know, those clips that, you know, one of those sort of virally clips, and it was just it was Shaq like being a good guy and like interacting really positively with people and kids. And you're just like he was very nice.

SPEAKER_01

Was he? Super nice, mumbled, mumbled. He was he talked so quiet. I had to like I had to bump up the game so much that the room noise is out of control. So his interview is like and I was like, I don't know how to fix this, guys. I'm sorry, he talks so quiet, I don't know how to fix it. Other than putting the microphone in his mouth, I don't know how to fix it. But he is very nice, very sweet. That's great.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so we're gonna make fun of him unmercifully next week. Yeah, yeah, beautiful. I don't think we will. I think we I remember having a great time with what was it, Kazam? Was that the one? We probably won't make fun of him.

SPEAKER_01

No, we're gonna make fun of the movie. Oh, yeah. He's he's a legend.

SPEAKER_02

He he he is a talk about a guy with charm. That guy charm up the wazoo.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, big time. And he's huge, so tall.

SPEAKER_02

I can only imagine what he's like in person. You're just like, oh, you are a mountain.

SPEAKER_01

My colleague took a picture where he was standing and Shaq was sitting in a chair, and Shaq is still taller than him. That's how wild it is.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's crazy. Okay, if you like what you we do, give us a thumbs up, subscribe, or leave a comment. All things you can do. We're always happy to hear from you. Um, and I guess uh we'll be back uh next week talking about the man of steel. Shaquille O'Neal. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye, everybody.

SPEAKER_03

Hey, watch him watch him watch it now.