Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Under The Silver Lake: Rage Bait
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Tony says it first and he never lets it go: Under the Silver Lake is the most frustrating movie he has ever been forced to sit through. That reaction kicks off a surprisingly deep argument between us about what a movie owes its audience, and what “subversive” even means when the story seems determined to dodge emotion, consequences, and clarity.
We walk through the film’s conspiracy thriller setup in Los Angeles and the endless trail of codes, symbols, and “solve me” breadcrumbs. Dan loves the mood and the idea that the hunt itself is the point, a mirror for how we chase meaning in pop culture, music, and celebrity myth. Tony thinks that approach is a cheat: if the movie mocks the audience for looking for answers while still stuffing the frame with clues, it becomes the exact kind of smug Hollywood puzzle it pretends to critique.
Then we get into the harder stuff: the male gaze, misogyny, and why satire fails when the film never draws a line or shows a real counterpoint. We also debate craft at the nuts-and-bolts level, from stakes and pacing to why a great score can’t save a story that refuses to care about its own setup. By the end, we are not just reviewing a neo-noir mystery, we are arguing about modern filmmaking, audience trust, and what “a real movie” feels like.
If you enjoy movie podcasts, hate watch debates, and brutally honest film criticism, hit subscribe, share the episode with a friend who loves puzzle movies, and leave a review. Are you with Dan on the vibe, or with Tony on the fundamentals?
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Oh, Dan Goodsell.
SPEAKER_01I'm hoping this is the happiest you've ever been.
SPEAKER_00I think, and I should say this is a movie, I'm just gonna let you know right now. I think this is my least favorite movie we've ever done.
SPEAKER_01That's what I said to Shannon. I was like, oh yeah, Tony's Tony's gonna hate this movie, maybe the most.
SPEAKER_00I can't remember the last time I was so angry while watching something.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, he might want to watch Fantastic Planet more than he'd want to re-watch this movie.
SPEAKER_00Bluebeast any day of the week. Way better than anything you see in this movie.
Quiet Morning Setup And Travel Plans
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony, the another of our quiet editions, because it's a little morning. And it's a Friday. We don't shoot a lot of Friday mornings.
SPEAKER_00No, this is all all sorts of backwards. This is all wrong. It's the show's not gonna go well, Dan. Maybe in the five years we're doing it, I don't think we've ever done a Friday show. No. Did I tell you why we had to move it to Friday? Because you have something to do tomorrow? I'm going on vacation. Just totally forgot that it was out. I'm going, I'm flying to Washington, D.C. tomorrow morning. And Naomi was like, When are you doing the podcast? I was like, Saturday. And she told me I wasn't. She reminded me that I was on a plane.
SPEAKER_01I'm here. I wonder where Tony is. Text. Uh I'm on a plane.
SPEAKER_00Somewhere over Denver right now. Oh, you're gonna go see the reflecting pool? Great. I don't, I don't, I I went to Washington, D.C. in middle school for a class trip. That's the only other time I've been there. Yeah. Um, I don't think I care about anything in Washington, D.C. because it's mostly America and stuff like that. And that doesn't interest me. But um our Naomi's brother-in-law is bringing his whole family, so we're going out to see the kiddos. Oh, okay. They they like stuff, I guess. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01We drove through it one time and it's like it's like a desolation zone, you know. It's like one of those things where it's like, you know, it looks like a bomb is blown up and it's so terrible, and then you get to and then you you cross this line, and then it's like you're like, oh, okay, it's one of those cities.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that sounds about right. Um my plan is to recreate as many scenes from Reacher as I can. Uh new Reacher.
SPEAKER_01I watched I watched the first three episodes, and then I started the fourth, and I'm like, I guess I'm done with this.
SPEAKER_00Wait, what? This is the best season ever. I mean, we'll talk about it at the end. The spoiler alert, this is my thing that I watch this week that I love. We're we're loving this season. I can't wait to tell you, tell me why you don't like it.
SPEAKER_01It's not that I didn't like it. I was just like, okay, I've had my film. You know? It's like I I don't really need to know what the answer is, you know. In a remote series, who really cares?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I care more than I care about this stupid movie you made me watch. That's for sure.
SPEAKER_01On this show, we did I do the I'm Danny.
SPEAKER_00No, we jumped right into other stuff.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna hate watching my dad and Tony on Dan.
SPEAKER_00We're just gonna restart. I'm Tony.
SPEAKER_01Um, we watch movies on this show. We talk about them. Sometimes I pick a very controversial movie that I know Tony will hate, and not surprisingly, Tony hates it. It works out.
SPEAKER_00It really worked out for you. This movie, this is the worst movie you've ever made me watch. Not the worst made film, although I will argue it's a terribly made film, and I'll I'll do I'll defend myself. Um but this is the most frustrating movie possibly ever made in the history of cinema.
Why Tony Thinks The Movie Fails
SPEAKER_01It's the movie is Under the Silver Lake, directed by the guy that did um It Follows. I have no idea what his name is.
SPEAKER_00Michael something. Taylor Thomas. Nope, David Robert Mitchell. I was way off.
SPEAKER_01David Robert Mitchell. And I wrote this down. We got the backrooms guy, we got the obsession guy.
SPEAKER_00Curry Barker. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01We got Zach Krieger, Krieger, the only guy whose name I know. Sure. And then we also have um Schoenbrunn, who did I Saw the TV Glow, and then has the new horror. I never saw that. The horror new horror. Oh, you you probably wouldn't like it. Um and then we have and then Schoenbrunn has the new miasma movie that's coming out. It just and it's it's Hannah Eidbender, and it's an a deconstruction of horror movies, you know, another deconstruction of horror movies.
SPEAKER_00But is it, or is it something that just pretends to be that, but doesn't actually know how to do that, and then it just looks like a frickin' idiot.
SPEAKER_01I haven't seen it, but you know, we we might do it on here. I I would do it on here. Sure, sure. But all of these, you know, Zach Krager is the one who directs real movies, right? Zach's like, I'm gonna direct a real movie that's gonna have a tone, it's gonna have a plot, and it's it's gonna have, you know, rising action and then resolve. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Do you want to know why? It's because he knows how to make a movie. These other people don't know how to make a movie. They went to film school and were told how to make a movie, but like a child were unable to actually take that in and recreate it. They just think they do. So they just do things that they were told make a movie and are like, I don't know what we're doing. I don't know, dolly, do a dolly shot now. I just I hate I so quickly, and then we can get back to whatever you're saying. I don't hate Curry Barker. I don't hate him because I think while I hate obsession and I don't think that it makes a lick of sense, I think there's enough talent in that movie that when he gets someone that can kind of shape him, I think he's gonna be great. Um I this makes me not even want to see the new end of the dinosaur movie or whatever. Well, I don't even know if I can see it. It's him doing Spielberg, basically. But he doesn't, he can't make a movie. And the one thing that Spielberg can do is make a movie. Even even if his movie sucks, it's at least a movie. You know what I mean? Yeah, okay. Um, this is this is not a movie. This is this everything wrong with It Follows, this movie doubles down on. Instead of correcting anything that he did wrong, because it follows again, is at least a movie. It is a movie. It follows it's a movie, follows it hard, it has problems. Uh, most of them for me are filmmaking problems because again, this is a guy that went to film school and it's like I I can make a movie. You guys listen, I can make a movie. See all the movie things that I do. That's how I imagine he is on set. Yeah, but he doesn't actually understand any of the fundamentals, he just knows there's things that you're supposed to do. Um, but he doesn't know how to do them. And this movie doubles down on it. This movie is just uh throw everything at the kitchen sink fundamental-wise, just to prove to people how clever he is, but in doing so, it makes him look like an idiot. That's how I feel.
SPEAKER_01Now, did you ever still let's um okay. So we got our backtrack. We got our young Turks who I think all are speaking in a way that a super old fuck and a moderately old fuck like you I think I'm older than you, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00Just um, you know in terms of yeah, oh that might be.
SPEAKER_01I don't know.
SPEAKER_00What do you call that? I understand.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you you're the funniest thing is, yeah, you're you're more um how do you want to say it? You're you're more like the old Hollywood system. You're like not the old Hollywood, you're real the 1980s Hollywood system.
SPEAKER_00You're like that is when it was fun and good.
SPEAKER_01This was how movies are supposed to be, and if you're going to make a movie, you should make them the correct way, you know, because the 80s was the distillation of everything, right? We we got through the studio system, we survived the seven the dirty 70s, as I love to call them, because I love the 70s. Yeah, then we got to the 80s, and they were like, okay, we we understand the story, we had you know, and you watch you watch the game. You watched God well, uh the thing about Jaws. I was watch watching the thing where they showed Spielberg tracking the camera around, like that one scene where they're talking to the mayor about closing the beach, and you're just like it is masterful, it is truly masterful what he does, and he is imparting this information and and telling you character stuff, and it's not just the dialogue, it's it's how he frames everything, yada yada yada. So we we reached this pinnacle. Tony exists on that pinnacle. Okay.
SPEAKER_00I'll let you finish.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's what you you demand, you you think a movie is correct if it succeeds at that. And that's why when we had that one, what was the one movie with um The Rock? No, was it the it was like you just watched it.
SPEAKER_00It was um they're in Hawaii and they're oh the wrecking crew, not the rock, Dave Batista. Dave Batista and uh Mamoa, Jason Mamoa and Mamoa. I watched that again last night, by the way. After this movie, because I was like, I need a palate cleanser. My God.
SPEAKER_01Because that that movie proves that you just take that system, you know, it's it's finely honed, you put good actors in it, you write write a bunch of great jokes, mix in a bunch of great fight scenes, and you have an actual movie. That movie would have opened great in the past, right?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, big time.
SPEAKER_01And I think it will also it'll that one's is one that'll grow uh a fan base, you know. I hope so. Um these new guys, they don't they don't care. They really, other than Zach Gregor, they don't care. They're like, don't care about all that stuff. We are not talking to Tony at all. They've they've they've thrown you out the window and said, you know who we're gonna talk to? We're gonna talk to the tick tock generation and the people that exist on this whatever is going on now, which I don't understand. Bad things, but I'm starting to I'm when we watch these movies, you're starting to see it. You're like, okay, there's something going on here that's that's different and not acceptable to you, but to me, I'm like it's well bad. I'm gonna try to understand.
SPEAKER_00It's bad and dangerous.
SPEAKER_01Here's here's the way because I think it's interesting what you're saying. Listen to the listen to the the author, the authority figure. It's dangerous.
SPEAKER_00So I understand. And this is the movie is about is like partially about raging against the man, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it tries so hard to do that that I actually think it falls the other direction and becomes everything that it's telling you isn't cool. And that's because you don't understand the basics. You have to learn here's we know how to make a movie, we figured it out. And so you either have to make that movie or you have to understand that enough to go against the movie. They do neither, they just don't give a shit about what is right and wrong. And I understand I understand that people be like, well, that's because you don't get it. I and you're right, I don't get it, but the reason I don't get it is because it's wrong. And then we reinforce wrong attitudes, and you've destroyed everything we've built. You understand what I'm saying? It's like when a parent can't tell the kid how to be a good human. It's like, well, you know, oh, your feelings are hurt. Well, your feelings are valid. Everyone's feelings are valid. No, they're not. Your feelings aren't valid. You can you can feel your feelings, that doesn't make you right. That's a very important distinction that we no longer have. You can you are allowed to feel this way, but that doesn't make your feelings correct. Everyone thinks their feelings are right, their ideas are right. They're not. They're not. Not everyone is right. You can be wrong, you can do it still, but you're you're still wrong. Do I sound old yet?
SPEAKER_01You sound you sound like the Rex Reed yelling at the world. You know, you're just like, that's not right. Ah, you can't do this, it's wrong.
SPEAKER_00It's not that you can't, you shouldn't. I think that's an important distinction. You shouldn't do it because it's wrong. And this movie's a great, because not only is this movie wrong, it's also boring. If you're gonna make a movie, it's boring, get anything right, have an interesting character that isn't a piece of shit. Nope, don't have that. Do anything interesting whatsoever that makes any sort of sense, where I'm like, oh, I can't wait to see what happens next. Nope, didn't do that. No, it looks pretty. That's it. Yeah, does look pretty good. Which I also am annoyed at because LA, not pretty. So the fact that you make LA pretty is in my mind the exact opposite of what this movie's supposed to be about. Oh, Hollywood's oh, it's dangerous, it's run by the rich people, it's ruining lives. But look how beautiful it is, even though it's a piece of shit. I look out my window, I hate everything I see, but you're gonna make the movie make it look like it's beautiful, even though you're telling me the Hollywood's bad? Fuck you. You're an idiot.
SPEAKER_01So and I mean, yeah.
Meaning In Songs And The “No Answers” Thesis
SPEAKER_01Um now when you were young, Tony.
SPEAKER_00It's hard to remember, but continue.
SPEAKER_01Before you became all jaded and and another member of the authoritarian, you know, movie, movie authoritarian group. Did you when you were young, did you ever listen to a song and think it meant something? All the time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And it when did that stop? Um I don't know. I don't have a date for you, but probably after middle school. I do remember. So I got my first my first CD player. What this doesn't matter, but this is just how I remember it, was a Star Trek-shaped CD player that my uncle gave me because he was a Trekie. And I would listen to Deep Blue Something's Home over and over on this thing. And I used to think that it was like the deepest, most beautiful. Like, I was like, oh, these guys fucking get it, dude. They understand it. And it's a fine album. Let's I mean, Breakfast Tiffany's great song, right? We can all agree that it's a great song. Doesn't really have deeper meaning, right? There's nothing to it. It's no, it's fine, but it's a lovely song. Um, but I used that was that was like my it was um our three-season porch that we had, and we had a we had a la Barkle Lounger in there, and I would just sit back with the windows open and just fucking listen to that thing over and over.
SPEAKER_01The breeze cruising across your your oh, it's beautiful.
SPEAKER_00Oh the sense memory of it all is pretty intense. I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah. Um, but it it doesn't. It doesn't. But this movie It says that it does in the end. It just doesn't matter. And that is another thing that frustrates me.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, yeah, there there might be the coded clues in there, but you know, what's it's it's not gonna there, there are there are this movie says there are no answers in life, and even if you find the answers, the answers are just stupid.
SPEAKER_00So that's that's what it is, is they're trying to say, oh, if you find the but there aren't answers. That's the correct see again. The correct answer is there are no answers, and he should he should have found nothing. He found a conspiracy. Yeah, he found these stupid, stupid misogynists. Oh, this movie's so misogynistic. These stupid people that go into a cave. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but it's a thing in the movie. They're saying, no, no, you were right. Andrew Garfield, you were right. The fact that he doesn't like the answer is actually irrelevant to me because he found a conspiracy, a pretty big one. Those women, they're missing, they've been murdered. Like you can pretend that that's not what it is, but that's a huge mystery, and then he does nothing about it. He doesn't tell the cops, he doesn't tell anybody. These women just disappear off the earth and they're dead. They've been murdered, and he doesn't do anything.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's their choice.
SPEAKER_00Choice is uh a very, very flimsy thing. That's like saying, I'm not to get the whole Nexium thing. Well, that's a choice, it's it's not a choice. These these women are manipulated, they're emotionally abused, yes, and nobody's helping them, including Andrew Garfield, because he is the problems of society, even though this movie is trying to tell you that society is a problem, it becomes a problem itself.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I and I it also feels like this movie is him talking about making a movie and then coming to Hollywood and being presented with what Hollywood is, which is just this endless array of things that don't really mean anything, and it's really just everyone trying to get attention for their bullshit that doesn't really mean anything.
SPEAKER_00But my problem is he's pontificated, or he's saying that's his message, right? But he's doing the same thing while saying that message. The movie in itself is hypocritical. Oh, yeah. Right. That's a to me, that's a huge problem. That's a red flag. That's the reddest flag you could possibly get. And it makes me want to knuckle sandwich him. If I met, I think he's the only person that I've never met that I would I would honestly have to hold myself back from punching if I met him. Um yeah. So anyhow, that's the movie. That's the movie. Uh now Dan's gonna tell us why he likes it. Well, that's why I liked it.
SPEAKER_01Um all that stuff. I I just thought it was because uh this is the second time I watched it, and I watched the both times I walk, you know, I my memory, I'm old, so I I don't form the memories like I used to. So that is yeah, why does that happen?
SPEAKER_00That's frustrating. I'm in the same boat.
SPEAKER_01We got too much, too much shit in there already.
SPEAKER_00It's all what it is, we gotta control all delete some stuff to make some room.
SPEAKER_01If we could do that, we would. I mean, we're still actually we do that and it doesn't make any difference. That's that's yeah, all right.
SPEAKER_00Same with my computer. I delete stuff all the time, but every day it's like your computer's full of what? I just deleted 20 gigs yesterday.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um so I like the movie just because it was so you know, it just didn't care about the story, and there was a few things in in the movie where you were like they they sort of had a chance to actually have a human emotion, and they just did not choose to do anything along the lines of a human emotion. Which is correct. I found you like that, you find that interesting. I mean, I think it's a really interesting comment about where people are at right now.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Okay, so that's an interesting that to me is interesting, but my problem is I don't know if I believe it's a comment. Oh, yeah, it is. I think that this is just him because now he's had he's had two movies that do the same problems for me. Oh, really? 100%, which is a guy that is just like, look how cool I am. Look how much I get it. Do you guys get it like I get it? That's how that's what this movie says to me. It's just a guy being like, I'm so cool now. I'm so cool. He must have been a loser in high school, and now he's like, guys, I get it. I get it, I'm so cool.
SPEAKER_01So him making like his main character like completely devoid of emotion and not being able to act emotionally when he's put very much directly put in a situation where he where where the normal thing in a normal movie would be to make a character act emotionally. That's him proving how cool he is.
SPEAKER_00That's him trying to prove how cool he is because he doesn't understand what cool is, but he thinks that he should be so the whole movie is like, I'm gonna make a movie for this TikTok generation because they're so cool, they're so anti-establishment. I'm gonna make a movie about that, but he doesn't get it. So he just he thinks he gets it. He's like, Oh, look what I've done here. Isn't that right, guys? Is that right? Is it right? And then everyone's like, no, it's not right, you idiot. Except for the right-wing lunatics on Reddit who love this movie. Oh, oh, so it's right wingers that like this movie? Yes.
SPEAKER_01Why do right wingers like I think?
SPEAKER_00The same reason that they liked Homelander for a while.
SPEAKER_01I can assure you that that was not his his intention of this movie, it was not to appeal to exactly what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00His so he's trying so hard to make that comment that he becomes exactly what he's commenting about because he's not smart enough to understand the difference. That's the way I look at it. Like The misogyny in this movie is so in deeply ingrained that it loses the comment on misogyny and becomes misogynistic. Oh, okay. Interesting. That's and to me, that's a problem. You have to make a statement. You have to draw a line. That line is lost very quickly on, I think.
SPEAKER_01Well, they never they never call him on his on the way he is. Never once.
SPEAKER_00It's everyone in this movie, even the guy playing that piano, is just like, men do these things. White men do these things. We are men. Doesn't ever once mention it's everyone. It's like I've seen people on Reddit are like, no, it's his internal view. It's Andrew Garfield's massage. He feels like, no, it's everybody. If he was the only one that had that view, and we got to see that dichotomy, that's great. But this world is entirely filled with people just like him. Yeah, yeah. Nobody has an opposing view. This movie lives in that view and then becomes that view. Nobody questions that view in any substantive way.
SPEAKER_01No. No. None of that. So wait, so so but you don't do you think the filmmaker is, you don't think he's espousing that view.
SPEAKER_00I do not. I not on purpose. I think that he thinks he's clever in turn, but he's not clever. I think that's the problem. Same with the I I believe that the way he makes the movie is the same way he wrote the movie, which is I wanna I want to show you how clever I am by doing all of these things, but I don't understand the fundamentals of the things, and so I then just become what I hate.
SPEAKER_01See, you're angry because he never gives you the wink. He never he never gives you the wink and never never punishes, he never punishes the character for being exactly who he is.
SPEAKER_00Or me, and I know that's a weird thing to say. He doesn't punish me for going along on the ride.
SPEAKER_01See, that's where okay, that's it. You think that you think I'm wrong? I think you're wrong on that. Okay, because he doesn't make him appealing. No, he never makes him appealing.
SPEAKER_00That is very true.
SPEAKER_01If you walk into there and you're like, this my guy, this is my world, this is my dude. He doesn't, and a lot of other movies will do that, right? They'll they'll give you that character that's terrible, but then you're just like, yeah, but uh, you know, it's like Walter White. I never watched that show, but I have the feeling that that character was a giant piece of shit, but they make him so cool and fun that you're like, I'm I gotta stick with him. He's my guy.
SPEAKER_00Some people definitely felt that way. I would say the majority of people, I never felt that way. I hate that show. I think it's an incredibly well-made show, sure, but I think that it's so misguided that I it I struggle to get through it because I hate everybody. I never you never root for him, and you never root you never root for anybody in that show. And that's why would I watch a show for eight seasons or whatever where I root for nobody? That's so crazy to me. But these people love it. But why do you keep watching it if you don't root it? Because I believe, I believe to my core that it's gonna it's gonna do the right thing. I have to see it through because I know, because people know how to make stuff. We make wonderful art all the time, and I have to believe, I'm just waiting for it to be like, there it is, there's the moment. We finally have reached it. I understand, I'm with you. Let's finish this. It just never comes.
SPEAKER_01So by the end of Under the Silver Lake, you don't go, there it is, there he is. By the end, I'm just like, fuck you. I can't believe Dan made me watch this movie. This is all about the trauma of him losing his dog and losing his girlfriend, and now we're gonna resolve all that, and there it is.
SPEAKER_00I I don't know what I hated more, yeah, but the reveal of the billboard being his ex-girlfriend, yeah, I almost vomited. I was like, I had a visceral reaction, the biggest eye roll. I like it's just disgusting. It's so great. Anyhow, should we do the movie?
SPEAKER_01No. Okay. One more thing we gotta explore.
SPEAKER_00Talk to me, yeah. Um, midsummer. Midsummer, yeah. Did you see midsummer? That's a negative. No.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. Well, I guess we can. I should have I probably I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_00But that's the same person that did hereditary, right?
SPEAKER_01Yes. They just worst movie.
SPEAKER_00I've only seen about 20 minutes and then I left the room because Naomi was watching it. I was like, no, not not for me. Not gonna sit through this. I turned it off. Okay.
SPEAKER_01And it's like there's movie, there's not a lot of movies that I'll I'll watch half a movie and then never finish it.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_01That's different than turning off a movie.
SPEAKER_00100%, yeah. Because you don't watch a movie in one sitting. That's let's just be clear. Dan's not a sit for two and a half hours kind of guy.
SPEAKER_01Unless it's really, really good.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_01But like um what like the He-Man movie. I made it. I made it a while and then I stopped. You know, the new um And you're good. The new Mortal Kombat. You know, I watched till we got the one good fight with with uh what's his name? Where he fought the weird guy out in the desert sort of thing. Carl Urban. Well, Carl Urban fought that guy.
SPEAKER_00Oh yeah, Baraka and yeah, and Johnny Cage.
SPEAKER_01This is the good Carl Urban fight. There might be another half fight at the end with him. This is his premier fight. I've seen that fight.
SPEAKER_00In fact, his later fight is actually kind of a letdown compared to that fight. Because this is like this is his fight. This is the fight. And then the lat the end fight is a team fight, so it's not yeah. That's what I figured.
SPEAKER_01I figured there's gonna be a team fight with Carl. I don't care about that. Sure. I got to see how he resolved.
SPEAKER_00So you you did not see the Liu Kang Kung Lao fight then. Is it worth seeing? It is. Just I'm sure you could just find that clip. I'll just watch it. Pretty fucking cool.
SPEAKER_01I'll watch it. That's fine. I just, you know, it's like I don't need the the plot doesn't mean anything to me. No, it doesn't. The guy playing Raiden is horrible, you know, it's like whatever. You know, okay. You watch you watch what's his name playing Raiden in the original one, you're like, I mean so good. This guy is like a little little guy, you're just like, no, he's a little guy.
SPEAKER_00He spends half the movie laying down anyhow, it's fine.
SPEAKER_01Um, but the point being is I turned off Hereditary. I watched it after, I watched Midsummer. And Midsummer is like that's the movie that does to me what this movie did to you, where I'm like, I hate the filmmaker. I just sit there going like I hate you. Because there's like there's like, you know, oh the tapestries mean this, and the oh, this and this, and the characters are I just hate all the characters. Like this movie, I didn't hate him as a character. I was I was indifferent to him, and I was indifferent to all the characters, but I I felt like that's where I was supposed to be living with them.
SPEAKER_00I hated him. I hated him from the very first scene when he's using his binoculars to spy on his topless smoking hot neighbor, and just talking to his mom at the same time. It's just so gross. I I just he's lying to his mom about everything. She's like, Are you working? He's like, Yep, I'm working, but we all know he's just gonna go inside and jerk it as soon as she's off the phone. It's just like you are such a shitty human being. I and this is I actually Naomi and I had a discussion. This will go into the egg scene later with the children. I understand that humans should probably all have value, right? Like, I understand the concept of all humans have value. I just disagree with it, and he's one of those people that I'm like, you can leave. And by leave I mean the earth. You could just go, you don't need to be here. Uh, you're taking up space and resources, and Thanos was right, uh, but he should have picked who he got to this destroy. You know what I mean? That sort of thing. I hate this guy.
SPEAKER_01There's sort of an implication at the end of the movie that this was a transitionary period in his life and he was going to start living a life at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but I don't believe it. Because his the way he starts living his life is he goes and has sex with another woman who he doesn't know or care about. Yeah. He's not actually growing because he did that multiple times throughout the movie. He thinks he's growing. This is again goes back to the thing where he's like, I'm becoming a human. No, you're not. You're still a piece of shit. You're not gonna learn. You're gonna do the exact same thing in two weeks. Uh, you're a bad guy. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Boom,
Plot Kickoff And Early Red Flags
SPEAKER_01we start. We have written on the uh coffee house in big pla big painted black things. Beware cracked me up. The dog killer. We got the person trying to wipe it off. We we cut back to that scene where it's 30% wiped off at the very end of the movie. And that's I I I thought for a second that was gonna be like the last scene. It wasn't, but it was pretty close, though.
SPEAKER_00Pretty close. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, we had we had like an epilogue, and that was it.
SPEAKER_00So the funny this is so funny to me. Um acting is hard, right? Let's just be very clear. Okay. This poor actress. I mean, I can't, so it can't be that. I I I understand that you're very talented, Dan. You know what I mean? Not everyone gets it. She's rubbing the B and clearly not doing anything. I part of me thinks that the words are written on the inside of the glass and not the outside, so she can rub the glass without affecting it all. Oh, it makes sense. But she's rubbing the B, rubbing the B. Nothing's happening, and then she moves to the E. Not a different part of the B. She just is like, you know what? The B's not coming off. I'm gonna go to the E. It's the craziest decision I've ever seen in my life. And it made me laugh so hard. And I feel bad because she's just an extra and she was just doing what she was told, right? Like, pretend like you're wiping it off, you're in the back room, doesn't matter. But as a human, if you're working on a B and nothing's happening, you don't just move on to the next letter. That's crazy. You just keep you go harder, you go hard, you get mad at it. I at least that's what I would do. But she's just like, yeah, I'm gonna go to the E. And then she goes to the E for a while, then she comes back to the B. It's not working out. It's just you know what that tells me?
SPEAKER_01That actually tells it tells you everything you need to know. That the director doesn't pay attention to anything.
SPEAKER_00No, yeah, I agree.
SPEAKER_01Those are those are the people we're dealing with. Well, okay. I mean, you're not totally right. These are like the I'm doing my job, nothing's happening. I guess I'll do my job over here. Yeah, I'll go do my job over here, nothing's happening. I I I think it I think that was intentional.
SPEAKER_00I if it's intentional, I just want to punch him even harder.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Now the whole we got this whole dog killer thread where someone is going around attacking people's dogs while they're walking them and killing them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I guess.
SPEAKER_00I sure. Yeah, because we don't really know.
SPEAKER_01He had had a dog. He said he'd had a dog, but we don't really believe that. But he'd been bit by a dog when he was a kid.
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01And, you know, in in a real movie, he would have been the dog killer and we'd have revealed that if he.
SPEAKER_00I still think he is. I just don't think I think he is. I just think they don't care enough to tell you. Why does he have dog biscuits?
SPEAKER_01Oh, he explained it. That's an explanation that you buy? Well, yeah, because he also he has one in his pocket when he when he feeds her Maltese right at the beginning. Yeah. So if they were just for nefarious reasons, he wouldn't be doing that.
SPEAKER_00Or he's laying the groundwork so he can kill that dog later because he's building the trust now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. He's got a lot on his plate to also be being a psychopath at the same time.
SPEAKER_00He's got nothing on his plate. Let's be very clear. He's putting imagin, he's like the kids in hook, just putting imaginary food on his own plate and then pretending it's full.
SPEAKER_01A lot of imaginary food. Uh he's in there. His name is Sam. He's like checking out a girl's ass, I think.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's all he does. Women are objects. That's what this whole movie is about. So it's fine.
SPEAKER_01He goes up this path, which leads to his apartment, which is your kind of classic LA apartment, and this squirrel commits suicide right in front of him.
SPEAKER_00This is where the movie lost me, Dan.
SPEAKER_01We have a little robot squirrel looking up at him.
SPEAKER_00No, I the robot. I mean, it was weird. That was very that was super weird. Don't understand the decision.
SPEAKER_01Oh, because in the span of you don't want to really hurt an animal.
SPEAKER_00You want to make sure that you know the animal's false so that except for the dogs. That's fine. We don't care about dogs. I agree. If it was a cat, I'd be upset. So in the span of 30 seconds, we have a dolly push, we have a dolly pull, and then we have the push pull, which is where you dolly in and zoom out at the same time and create the distance in the background shifts. We have those three moves in succession. It goes whoop, whoop, warr, and then the squirrel falls. Um, that was that was it. I was like, okay, I'm done. I hate you. You're a piece of shit. You know how to make a movie. You're like, oh, let's look at this how to make a movie book, chapter three, uh, paragraph four, Dolly Zoom. Let's do that one now. And then uh, oh, pay until I do that now. I just, if you're not using these techniques correctly, it just looks stupid. And I and here's the thing I understand that this is a very deliberate choice by them that I just don't understand because it's not interesting or cool or smart. But I actually very much respect the DP because he's done some other things with real directors that look great. So he I think he's very talented, which is why the movie looks so pretty. But I think you know, someone wielding a weapon that is very powerful, even though they don't know how to wield the weapon, that's very dangerous. And that's how I feel about what's his name? Max? I forgot his name. I feel so bad. I like I don't hate you. He's got three names. He's got three names, and I lost every single one of them. Sorry, I'm not even gonna look it up again. He's in apartment twenty-three.
SPEAKER_01Do you know why he's in apartment twenty three? Michael Jordan?
SPEAKER_00No, I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Basically, a long time ago, somebody noticed that they always put everybody in apartment twenty-three, and then twenty-three became this significant conspiratorial number.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_01What what I don't know? Why? Um because you because it twenty-three makes it non- I mean this is my assumption. I yeah, I haven't researched this. I mean, this is like a thick. This is from the 80s. Um it doesn't put it on the first floor necessarily, doesn't put it on the second floor necessarily. Interesting could be anywhere in the building. 23 is, you know, as opposed to 107, you're like ambivalent. That means they're on the first floor or something. You know, 23 is the ambivalent number that you, you know, you're if you're gonna re refer to it, you're gonna be a apartment twenty-three. You always know what it's gonna be.
SPEAKER_00Interesting. So that's why Don't Trust the B is in apartment twenty-three as well, I assume. Yeah, interesting.
SPEAKER_01Uh his rent is overdue, he's gonna be evicted. He looks at the LA Weekly. I think this movie takes place in 2011. 2011, that's correct, Dan. Um, Jesus and the um the brides of Dracula.
SPEAKER_00Uh oh. I don't want to vomit.
SPEAKER_01Um he's out, he's out on the balcony, he's peeping on the hipster, the hippie lady that lives across. She's always topless. She's got birds. She's got one bird that you says something constantly, but nobody can figure out what the bird is saying.
SPEAKER_00What does that mean? Can you explain the bird to me?
SPEAKER_01Okay, what the bird is, is the bird is the fine it's the initial mystery, and it's the fine well, not the initials. Dog killer is the initial mystery. Bird is the the unresolved mystery that's going to remain unresolved and also show at the very end that he's he's done with his quest, I believe.
SPEAKER_00But he asks her what it says, and she says, I don't know, and he accepts it. But that's crazy. Why? That's the only mystery that I need solved in this entire movie. What is this bird saying? Who taught it? It doesn't matter. What's going on? I think it does matter. I think that's the only thing that's gonna lead to something.
SPEAKER_01You know, they they had a cryptographer, a code person on a dedicated code person on the movie. And there are people out there on Reddit or whatever that try to are trying to decode the movie.
SPEAKER_00Right, but see, isn't that in itself part of the problem? The movie's like, oh, everything's got codes and it's stupid, but my movie has codes in it. Fuck you.
SPEAKER_01Did you ever see a Christmas story?
SPEAKER_00A Christmas story, like the movie, a Christmas story, uh-uh, and he licks the pole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And what's uh what's the code in that one?
SPEAKER_00Red Rocket. I have no idea what the code is because that's not something that interests me. But tell me.
SPEAKER_01He does the little Orphanny thing and gets the Dakota ring. The Dakota ring shows up, he decodes the thing, and the thing is drink more ovultine. So it's just an ad. Oh, sure. Sure. There is no secret. So in that movie, they they tell they show us that the thing we always thought was a secret and is not a secret. And in this movie, he I I think that's all very directly tied directly back to that. I think he's talking, he's I believe his film knowledge is such that all of these things are talking about those things. So when he's talking about codes, he is thinking about a Christmas story. And I bet you if you were able to solve, like at one point he's in the bathroom and there's a code on the wall, and it, you know, I'm sure it says something, but I'm sure it says something like, you know, enjoy the movie. I'm sure there's things packed in here that if you were to solve them, would just be like, Yeah, you're an idiot for wasting your time.
SPEAKER_00But that's such a dick move. Yeah, that's the idea. I understand that that's the idea. I'm saying that that's a bad idea. Because it's fuck you. So you're telling you're doing a whole movie about how it's meaningless and stupid, and this guy's wasting his life looking for these codes. Yeah. But then I'm like, I'm gonna put codes in my movie too. Fuck you guys. Yeah, that's such a douchebag thing to do. Like it everything he does is intentionally to make me want to punch him in the face. Yeah. And he thinks that that's cool, which is again goes back to the look how cool I am. I'm subverting the subversion, guys. Well, I'm on another level, bro. Like, that's I just want to knock his teeth out. But that's his way of trying to deal with that.
SPEAKER_01It's it's in some sense this.
SPEAKER_00You would it personally go to therapy like the rest of us, okay?
SPEAKER_01But he's made this this whole movie is to deal with you know the excess of Hollywood, the you know, the the misogyny of Hollywood.
SPEAKER_00But it but it doesn't. It doesn't deal with any of it, it becomes all of it. This movie was purchased for a large sum of money before one film reel was shot, before one frame was shot. That in itself is already a problem if your movie is look at the problems of Hollywood, but I'm firmly in it, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk. I hate that he thinks he's making a statement about these things because he is all of those things. But he has made a statement about them. Yeah, the statement is I love it, and let's keep suckling at the teeth. That's the statement he's making. He might not think that that's the statement he's making, but that's a statement he's making. And then he goes on to make End of Oak Street, which is uh is what did you say? A Spielberg movie, the biggest name in Hollywood, the most insider Hollywood name there is. That's his next move after making a movie about how Hollywood's bad.
SPEAKER_01Well, he's making them he's making the movie that you want. You know, this is this is he's too late. Just like Ander Garfield, he's gone through the arc and he gets to the end there and he's he abandons the parent mystery, right? He doesn't he doesn't get up and go like, hmm, I start writing stuff on a piece of paper. He's fine. He's fine with sit laying there sleeping with the hot lady.
SPEAKER_00But wrong, right? Because he made a movie to try to make money about the fact that movies are bad. That's what he's doing. It's the whole thing is hypocritical.
SPEAKER_01But maybe from beginning to end. But that's the thing is you gotta you gotta do your thing to get it out of your system. He's getting it out of his system.
SPEAKER_00Again, do it on your own time. Don't make other people sit and watch this bullshit.
SPEAKER_01Ugh.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but maybe this is the way that they can get over it themselves, right? It's not. And let me tell you why, because again, I went down a deep Reddit thread last night, several of them, about how much these guys love this movie, how relatable this character is. It is terrifying. Reddit is a terrible place. I think we can all just. Agree. Reddit is probably the worst place on the planet. I don't go there. But they have embraced this character and they love him.
SPEAKER_01How interesting. Okay, so he's peeping on the hippie lady. Then his mom calls. She starts talking about uh Gloria Gaynor. Is it Gloria Gaynor? Or Janet Gaynor? Janet Gainer. Janet Gaynor. Old actress. An old actress. And we we pop, we we do this now that he he runs into her tombstone at Hollywood forever. Then he runs into a painting of hers in somebody's house. Then he gets the mom sends him the VHS, and then he's watching the VHS near the end.
SPEAKER_00And this is 2011, and he has a VHS player laying around and Nintendo Powers laying around. Got them all. It's disgusting. This is that's so stupid. It's the same thing when he made that stupid seashell phone in that in the first and it follows the seashell phone. Fuck you. God I hate you.
SPEAKER_01He hates the seashell phone. Um, he lies about having work, he's smoking. New hot girl shows up at the pool. She's got a loud radio, she's got a white dog. He peeps on her, she sees him peeping, and there's a knock at the door. Oh, knock at the door. That's why she looks up, sees him peeping. It's his girlfriend. She's got sushi. They have sex. We set up Kurt Cobain. We set up that he worked, uh was able to get a signature, and then we find out that there's this missing billionaire, and we do this all while they're having sex. We have like TVs going and posters going. We we have we have a whole uh dump info dump during sex.
SPEAKER_00And and what is the statement here? Just out of curiosity, what are we trying to say that's so cool and subversive again?
SPEAKER_01That the best place to do an info dump in the middle of sex. That's what he's saying.
SPEAKER_00The only way to make it interesting.
SPEAKER_01If you got more to tell me, I'm here. Keep the story going, pal. He's been coming. Um, after the sex, we see his old Playboys. He talks about his first sexual experience was with this one Playboy from the six.
SPEAKER_00He's the least likable person that's ever been on Celluloid. Just awful, just disgusting.
SPEAKER_01Then he has secret papers that he won't let her see.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know what those are. Do we know what those are? I do? What happened? What were they? What what did they end up being?
SPEAKER_01We're gonna find out that those secret papers, well, it's a very pivotal scene, are he watches Wheel of Fortune, and then Vanna White has something where she she looks in different directions, and then he's been notating either for a month or for eight months all of these movements in like his own secret code because he thinks that they speak towards something deeper.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Interesting. Nope, not interesting. That's wrong, Dan. You you've come to the wrong conclusion.
SPEAKER_01Um, he's driving, he goes to the last bookstore downtown, and he gets this zine, and the zine is a called Under the Silver Lake. It's made by this weird guy who we're gonna meet later, and it has this owl's kiss character, which is kind of a blending of Mothman. Oh, it's kind of a Mothman thing, but it's a it's a naked lady that wears an owl mask and then kills you.
SPEAKER_00Eats you or something, apparently. Very strange.
SPEAKER_01Don't like this. I don't like the care. I think the name is terrible. I think that's intent I think the name is intentionally terrible. And it's it's kind of reminiscent of the Black Dahlia, which is this one famous, not it isn't, but it is. It reminds me of the Black Dahlia because Black Dahlia is like this stupid case of this woman that got killed by a killer, and everyone has the black dahlia up your butt, and then when you like look at it, you're just like, I don't care.
SPEAKER_00And I think Josh Hartnett.
SPEAKER_01Oh, is he in the movie?
SPEAKER_00He's in the movie, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And once again, it's this whole thing about how through youth you have these things built up, and then when you really find out about them, you're like, eh.
SPEAKER_00Sure, sure. Let's make a movie about that. About the feeling of a good idea. That's a good idea. Let me tell you my problem with this, Dan. Have you ever been to the last bookstore? Yeah, so busy all the time. There's people there every second of every day. You know how many people are in this movie, in this scene? Zero. There's no other patrons in the store, not a single one. That's not possible. It's just not possible. It's irresponsible to tell people that you can go to the last bookstore and you'll be the only person in there. That is ridiculous. He does this, he does this multiple times in the movie. He goes to very famous landmarks and nobody else is around. There are hundreds to thousands of people all the time at these places, but he's like, no, no, no. It's LA is like a cool, chill place where there aren't other people around all the fucking time. That is insane behavior.
SPEAKER_01So happy.
SPEAKER_00Um, the Griffith Observatory is empty? I don't think so, pal.
SPEAKER_01Um, he's going home, he sees a skunk, he sees the neighbor's dog, the neighbor lady's dog outside pooping. She comes out. Um, her dog's name is Coca-Cola.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so clever.
SPEAKER_01He says, My dog died recently. We think he's lying.
SPEAKER_00Um he's he's not, he's only sort of lying, right? Because the dog was his ex-girlfriend and she took it, right?
SPEAKER_01Oh, that makes more sense, doesn't it? I didn't think of that. I that's what I got. I don't know if that's true.
SPEAKER_00I was that was more me asking you if that was correct. Because that's what I understood by the end, is that she took the dog, which is probably her dog. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. Um now, listen, I won't harp on it, Dan, but this the king of unmotivated light is just back in full force in this fucking scene. She's wearing a beach floppy hat, but her face is totally lit. Everything else dark. Her face totally lit. I almost I almost threw my my shoe at the fucking TV.
SPEAKER_01The king of unmotivated light. I love it. Um, she's like, she invites him in for a drink. She's like, I saw you spying on me, and she was uh she's like, Were you masturbating?
SPEAKER_00I hate this scene. I love that. And he's like, no, and she's like, oh, but we all do it. That's like the ultimate male gaze scene, and it's it's not commenty, it's just disgusting.
SPEAKER_01They're gonna get stoned, they they're on her bed, kind of getting together. Doodling a little. They're watching, she's got a weird obsession with how to marry a millionaire.
unknownI didn't.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I get it now. Because she's doing she's marrying or going underground with a millionaire.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because how to marry a millionaire, it's three women all trying to find a millionaire. So this is the whole idea is that all the woman really cares about is is finding this perfect situation, which they essentially find the perfect situation.
SPEAKER_00Which is, by the way, their perfect situation is living for six months underground and then suffocating to death. So that's cool.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but it's it's also we'll talk about rich guys later. All right. Um, she talks about saltines and orange juice, how that this perfect combination, and I'm like, I want to try it. I can see it.
SPEAKER_00I'm not gonna lie to you. Salty with some orange, some zest. I it could be good. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01When I was a kid, I invented Pepsi with ice with plenty of ice, so it's very cold.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you gotta have a cold. Pretzels. Okay, cheddar cheese. I like I love where you're going because I love nacho cheese Doritos with plain MMs. That's like one of my favorite combinations. So the cheese and the sweet, and I think that's I think it's all good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so we all have like that sort of magical thing, and hers is uh saltines. I'll try it. They may not like orange juice, but I'll try it. Yeah, orange juice. I eat an orange juice and orange every day because I like oranges. But orange juice is orange juice is a lot.
SPEAKER_00It's a lot, that's why they're very concentrated.
SPEAKER_01That's why the saltines I think will be like, oh, here we go. They might cut the edge, you think? Yeah, I think so. I'm in. They're making out the roommates show up, and she's like, get out of here, come over tomorrow. It's two girls and a pirate.
SPEAKER_00Why uh what? Why is this pirate everywhere?
SPEAKER_01They go outside, there's fireworks. She's mesmerized, literally mesmerized. She's never seen fireworks before in her life. That was she lives in I didn't know what that meant.
SPEAKER_00I think it means nothing,
Fireworks Night And The Kid Punch Scene
SPEAKER_00Dan. Don't try to find meaning in this movie.
SPEAKER_01He goes out on the street, his key car has been keyed, he sees that it's these kids, he sneaks up on the kids, walks out, and in this beautiful spacklit shot of all gorgiosity showing that this guy might be one of the greatest directors of all time, he pops that motherfucking little kid right in the fucking face. And you just start cracking up because it's the greatest thing you've ever seen. Because this character, this is like the only time this character actually takes an action.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I think in the whole movie. Yeah, I I think you're probably right. Takes down another one of the kids, another kid flees, he kicks the kids while they're down.
SPEAKER_00It's exactly what you need to do. These kids need to be taught a lesson. This is the only time I ever resonate with this character, and my wife got very mad at me. Why? Because, you know, the kids' safety is important. I was like, fuck that. Fuck those kids. They're just out there, they're they're hooligans, they don't deserve a spot in the world. No, they kick the shit out of them, teach them a lesson. They need to learn.
SPEAKER_01They need to learn.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, okay. Uh okay. He goes back on the trail, and there's like, I don't know what it is, is like dog bones or something. Yeah. Then there's like a dead guy eating it, and then we pull back, and then the guy splits into two pieces and goes in two different directions.
SPEAKER_00Well, and also he's dressed like the neighbor, the neighbor lady. Oh, is he? Oh, yeah, he was dressed like the neighbor lady. He's got the floppy hat. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And in the dreams, the people instead of talking, they bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
SPEAKER_00Yep. You know, because of the dog that the dog killer. That's some of the stuff I'd ask about if I was I'm just not curious enough. You know what I mean? I watch it and I'm like, I don't care what you're saying. None of it means anything. This is dumb.
SPEAKER_01He wakes up and he's his hand is stuck because the there was goop on the cars. The kit maybe they put the eggs.
SPEAKER_00So I think it was gum. Yeah, it looked like chewed gum, but it's not how gum works. So I'm hoping I'm wrong because he puts his hand on the handle and then he pulls it away, and it's covered in pink. So I think it's gum. But it's the most gum I've ever seen in my entire life. And it doesn't act like gum axe. So I just wasn't totally sure.
SPEAKER_01So he stuck to the Spider-Man comic. We should probably buy that Spider-Man comic and see what it's about, you know? Because there's probably some clues in that comic.
SPEAKER_00So clever. It's so smart.
SPEAKER_01He goes down to the girls' apartment, she's gone, cleaned out. Okay, he goes to the management company, the management guy's like, she's gone. What the hell?
SPEAKER_00He goes, he goes This is actually my favorite scene, second favorite scene, favorite scene's when he kicks the shit out of the kids. But I love this manager, and he's like, Maybe she didn't like you, maybe she found out that you were poor. This is great. This is how I feel about the kid, so it's funny to me.
SPEAKER_01He meets his buddy at the bar. That doesn't really mean anything. No, he comes back, breaks into her apartment, goes through everything, finds a Polaroid of her, smells a sex toy.
SPEAKER_00Yep. That's gross. Oh, it's so smart, it's so clever, though. It's so subversive. You know what I mean? It's so smart.
SPEAKER_01Uh, this other girl shows up to retrieve the box. He sees this two diamond symbol on the wall, which we're gonna come to find out is the hobo sign for stay quiet.
SPEAKER_00Is that was that is that true? I never I never learned what it meant. Yeah, yeah. That's interesting. Well, he told you I missed it. The comic the the Alskiss guy. Once we get about 45 minutes into this 2.25 hour movie, I I shut down pretty hard.
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna lie to you, Dan. Um, okay. Uh so that he follows the girl, they get picked up in a rabbit, he follows them, they stop at this school. This on the scoreboard, this number comes up, then they continue on, they go to boat rental. At the boat rental, they go across, he follows them, and they pass off the package to the pirate and they disappear. Then he follows them to this party at this penthouse, and this is where Jesus and the brides Oh, Jesus and the brides of Dracula are playing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And we meet Balloon Girl here. Great. What a great character. So do any of the women have names in this movie? That you noticed? So sorry. I didn't notice a single one.
SPEAKER_01Well, the main girl's name is Sarah. The neighbor? Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Her name is the one that's missing. Sure. Yeah, her name is Sarah. Because that's the object of his affection. Even though he doesn't know her, know anything about her, care about her at all. He's in love with her.
SPEAKER_01So we don't ever find out his girlfriend's game, and his girlfriend played by Ricky Lindholm ten times hotter than the girl on the cross.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, without a doubt. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Ten times hotter.
SPEAKER_01She's like so hot, and we get like two scenes with her, and then that she's gone. I mean, she's gone forever. She's gone forever. Um well, because she figures out that he's crazy. Yeah. So he follows them in the pool so that he can um he can listen, and there's like this great scene where he's like hiding behind a ball to sneak over and listen to the the three. Do you think that's great? I I actually kind of love that scene. It was it was so stupid.
SPEAKER_00Okay, I agree with you that it's stupid.
SPEAKER_01Speaking of Reacher, this is why I turned Reacher off.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, tell tell me.
SPEAKER_01It's because they were had they were gonna have to steal this woman's ID to break into like the secret facility. And the anxiety of watching them both steal this, figure out how to get it so that she's not gonna find out, and then I don't I can't handle it. I can't handle things that are that exciting. That's why I love when a guy's hiding behind a ball and it's like really stupid. I'm just like, there's no stakes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01There's no stakes in this.
SPEAKER_00I I love that you turn it off because it's too tense. It was too much for me. It's too much for me to handle. It's way too much for me. I respect it, Dan. I respect that because you're right. It was.
SPEAKER_01Um he follows the one girl in the bathroom. Uh, you know, where is this? Where is where is Sarah? She knees him, and then he puts hands on her.
SPEAKER_00Puts hands on her, it's real bad.
SPEAKER_01She knees him, and all these other girls come in there and they don't show him beating the shit out of him, but they should have shown him beating the shit out of him.
SPEAKER_00Well, they bark at him again, which is weird because this isn't a dream. Isn't a dream. It's very strange. Maybe it's all a dream, probably. I listen, maybe it is. Who knows? Not you.
SPEAKER_01Um the director. He goes outside, he runs into Alan, his friend. He asks about those girls, he doesn't know them. Marie Severance, who's the daughter of the millionaire that's missing, it turns out the millionaire died in a friary crash with Sarah, with him, we find out, and they watch as she gets the news that her father is dead. Yeah. And they have no ability to they have no empathy at all. Yeah. These are empathyless people.
SPEAKER_00And do the young people have no empathy? Is that what's happening? I I live obviously, I don't know. Because I'm not in touch with anything, uh, which we've discussed already. Uh, but I would say probably not. That'd be my guess.
SPEAKER_01Is that the world we live in now? Is a world without empathy? Probably, yeah.
SPEAKER_00But uh but also a world where people talk about how they have empathy, but they don't know what it means. You know what I mean? Yeah. But who knows? Kids are crazy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, so boom, he goes home, he gets a call. Oh, he gets a call from the guy that did the uh Al's Kiss comic book. They're gonna meet the next one.
SPEAKER_00Let me ask you a question because this is this is this is something I wrote down because this drove me uh absolutely bonkers. Yeah. You're at an art show last weekend. Remember that? Remember you're at an art show? Who was? If I was you were, yeah.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_00Right? Weren't you at an art show last weekend? Oh, you mean a collectible show? Yeah, your collectible, sorry, your collectible show. Yes. Now, if someone at another table just slipped you a number of one of their fans, you never met them. The only thing you know is that they have the phone number? Yeah, they asked the person at a different table to give you the phone number because you were in the bathroom. Yeah, would you call that number, Dan? So they want to spend money? Probably not. Otherwise, they would have waited. You know what I mean? And he doesn't say I want to send money, he just says, No, I want to talk to you. Would you call him and then invite him over to your house? Give him your address. This is the craziest sequence of events I've ever seen in my entire life. See, you're thinking, yeah, as a young person, I might. Yeah. Dan, you're murdered. You're dead. You're a dead person. I mean, that's how you kidding me. You call a stranger up, you're like, Do you want to come over to the house? No.
SPEAKER_01I remember way back when I met one, I met my, you know, one of my best friends. He ran an ad in um in this collectibles magazine, and we talked on the phone, and uh, he came over to my apartment. And his his wife, his wife thought for sure that he was murdered.
SPEAKER_00Yes, because that's what happens 99% of the time. You're the one percent, Dan. You're the one percenter. Congratulations. That's not true. I don't know, Dan. It's a dangerous world out there, and you're just asking for it. That's not a dangerous world. I'm glad it worked out for you. That's really lovely. This didn't work out for this guy, so.
SPEAKER_01Um, okay. He gets a call from the civil tomorrow. Uh he's on the path. There's a guy in the front of the path, he drops his groceries and runs, and then he hides, but then he gets sprayed by a skunk.
SPEAKER_00So funny. So good. This is great running thread of the movie that he smells bad now.
SPEAKER_01Uh-huh. Uh the next day, his girlfriend comes over in the sexy nurse's outfit.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01And then this She's an actress, by the way.
SPEAKER_00She's an actress. If anyone was wondering, yeah.
SPEAKER_01You gotta always have a useless actress in a movie like this.
SPEAKER_00Is she useless though? Because she's an actress. Better than he is. Wow, Dan. Unbelievable.
SPEAKER_01I had that one cue. No wonder you love this movie. I had that one cued up. I was like, I'm gonna shit on actors when I get to this part of the talk.
SPEAKER_00Every chance I get belittle them.
SPEAKER_01So she's brought tomato juice over. He explains his whole weird Vanna White thing, and he goes, he it's the other time where he actually animated. He gets animated, and she's like, Okay, I'm gonna go when you stop speaking. Let me know. Go forever.
SPEAKER_00The relationship kind of ended right there. 100%. She never had any intent of coming back.
SPEAKER_01And I mean, that's really the whole thing, isn't it? Is when you do finally show the person who you are, that's that's the point at which they're gonna be like, oh yeah. Or they're gonna be like, Yeah, nope, yeah, we're done. Hard pass.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Gotta be careful about what you say.
SPEAKER_00Or just not don't be a shitty human being, you know. Try that one too.
SPEAKER_01The police are marking off the uh wait, what's this? Uh oh, he dreamt about the girl in the pool and she barked at him. Whatever. The dream I hate dreams because they don't ever mean anything. I don't think a dream is ever added to a lose the movie, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you're right.
SPEAKER_01Uh the police mark off the apartment. He follows his girl who has a headshot because she has a nice ass. And then there's all these other girls waiting at this weird place to be in a movie, and it's like this creepy guy gatekeeping.
SPEAKER_00For sure, porn auditions, right? I mean, let's let's call it what it is. That's not a real movie.
SPEAKER_01That's true, probably.
SPEAKER_00It's a handwritten garage sale type sign that says movie auditions. There's that's not real.
SPEAKER_01Um his car gets towed, and so now he's he's on his feet the rest of the movie.
SPEAKER_00Um It doesn't it doesn't bother you that he never once thinks about his money.
SPEAKER_01Interesting. There was a point at which they he he paid something, and I was like, this movie The prostitute?
SPEAKER_00No, he paid it with the escort. Because he pays the escort. He paid her with a credit card. He paid her with a credit card. That's true. You're right.
SPEAKER_01It was a credit card. At some point where he pulls out cash, and I was like, you know, this movie has carefully ever. We never discuss what his job was or what it used to be or how he lost it. Yeah. He never tries to retrieve his car. He doesn't care that the car is gone, that is lost.
SPEAKER_00Doesn't care about his car or his apartment or his girlfriend. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Doesn't care about paying the rent. Doesn't ever spend one second of time worrying about how figuring out how to pay the rent or his all his stuff that he owns. Yeah. Um and we we never have an idea of when he's going to run out of money. So, in a sense, this movie has has neutered everything that that runs a movie, right? There is no time limit. There's no timer running. There's never a timer running.
SPEAKER_00But but they set it up as if there is. And that drives me crazy. Okay, let's let's talk about Well, you have four days to pay your rent or you gotta go. But nobody cares.
SPEAKER_01But he doesn't care. We know he we know that that clock he sets up an occasional clock, but then he also just goes like this is not a clock that means anything to the character. Yeah. Which I think is incredibly subversive to do in a movie.
SPEAKER_00Right? But that's why he's doing it.
SPEAKER_02Look how submersive I am, so subversive.
SPEAKER_00Just hate him. I hate him so much.
The Score Works Too Well
SPEAKER_01Okay, let's let's let's take a break right now and talk about the music of the movie. Oh, okay. Yeah. Uh it's like an Elmer Bernstein score. I don't know who that is. Uh, you know, your classic Alfred Hitchcock-y kind of real fucking score.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's a yeah, it's good. It's like it's well done. It's too good for this movie. Yes. But it's I agree.
SPEAKER_01It's also at odds with the stakes and everything that occurs in the movie. It's just like it it propels all of this uselessness on and on and on.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01And Tony loved that about it.
SPEAKER_00No, I didn't love it, but I was like, good on this guy for making good music for a shitty movie. Good for you. I don't know who did it, but they're great.
SPEAKER_01He passes an optique, uh whatever those things like goes in your eyes. No uh contact lenses. Isn't it contact lenses? And it turns out that that billboard is his ex-girlfriend's billboard.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So they show it to us very specifically, and he looks at it, and I'm like, is this one of the girls we've already seen? And I'm just missing something, you know, because I'm clueless. Uh a lot of a lot of Hollywood types in this movie. Um, I think Sydney Sweeney's in here somewhere. Oh, really? Wow. She was one of the girls in the movie in the in the uh Hollywood Forever. She was the secondary girl, which I did not recognize her, but I saw it in the credits. I'm like, Sydney Sweeney's in there, but I think a lot of hipstery girls and people are sure. I think the girls are yes, lots of hipsters. Um okay, he's at the the conspiracy guys
Conspiracy Props And Code Obsession
SPEAKER_01thing. He has all these life masks. Lincoln, Grace Kelly, Johnny Depp. He explains the hobo code of stay quiet. Uh okay. Um, he does a lost and found science thing, does a cult of the whale, does the whole owl's kiss on the dollar bill. You can see like a tiny, tiny picture of the owl's kiss. Then he breaks into the secret cabinet and pulls out a an old space stone cereal box that has the secret map of LA. If only he could find the way to use the map.
SPEAKER_00Thankfully, Garfield finds it. Wow.
SPEAKER_01And what once again, I think this is a little bit of a talk back to a Christmas story, which you know, the little orphananny is a radio premium that you send away for. Boom. Here's the the secret, secret solution to all the mysteries.
SPEAKER_00Great stuff.
SPEAKER_01He meets Topher Grace at his like weird house, and then they talk about nothing, and he fault sends his drone over to peep on this lingerie model as they're watching. She gets there, takes off her shirt for no reason, sits on the couches, and then cries.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just uh disgusting, just absolutely awful. Um, and during this scene, Andrew Garfield's like, Oh, I could have been somebody, but something went wrong. Blah blah blah. I'm a man. Uh, I just hate it. I just hate everything about it. Also, just the logistics. Drones are loud. If a drone's outside your window, guess what? You hear it, you know, and her her window wide open. Wide open. You would see the likes of the drone. It's so stupid. I hate I hate every second of this. Except for Topher Grace has gauges in his ears, and I thought that that was cool. He's great. He is great.
SPEAKER_01You're just like, you hear his voice, and he he's so sort of gotten away from the Eric character on 70s show. I don't know. He's gonna do something, he's gonna do some incredible things at some point. You're just like this. I hope so. Yeah, you're like rooting for it. I hope he gets in something that is just is really wonderful because even in this little role, you're like, ah, I want more of this character, and I want to understand a lot more. More give me more. He goes to Hollywood forever. They're playing this terrible movie, and then he looks over, and there's this two actresses, and then her friend, who's dressed as something not a pirate. Dressed as something else. Then they they run off and leave with the pirate.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Then he goes to the secret show because he's got this cookie at the balloon party, and then he eats the whole cookie, and there's the balloon girl, and they're playing, Jesus and the brides are playing, and he compliments her dance that he'd seen before. Her dance was terrible.
SPEAKER_00Super bad, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then they go to another club in the basement. Now, did you ever have these nights where you went somewhere and it just transitioned from weirdness to weirdness to weirdness?
SPEAKER_00No. No, Dan. I did not.
SPEAKER_01You didn't live in LA.
SPEAKER_00I remember No, I did not. I lived in the Midwest.
SPEAKER_01One time in college, we we were up in downtown for some reason, and I don't know if we were looking for food or something, and you know, it was like this totally dead area downtown, nothing going on. We sure we walk in, we go, we go through these these double doors, and here is this giant restaurant filled with like um Arabic people. Oh having dinner, and it's loud and crazy. And if you didn't know to open these doors, you would never you would never know what was going on in there. And I remember one time at Comic Con down in San Diego, I went someplace and I was looking for a pharmacy because I had some problems, and so it was like seven o'clock in the morning, and we I went in this building and I'm like, I'm trying to find this pharmacy, and you know, it's like a you know, like a high-rise, and the guy's like, Oh, you're not here for the party? And I'm like, No, I'm not here for the party. He's like, Yeah, it's still going on. So there's some all-night rave Comic-Con party going on that you could, you know, you could have gotten in the elevator, got up to the seventh floor, and whatever would have been happening would have been happening. And it's like you you just when the when you and you in those parts of the world, there's just shit going on that you just don't can't even wrap your head around.
SPEAKER_00Sure. I just lived in the suburbs of a Midwest small town, so we just went to a farmer's field and played football. That's mostly what we did. Stop being under car lights. It was beautiful.
SPEAKER_01Boring. Um he crashes, it turns out that the cookie was drugs, he goes and barfs, comes out, she's gone. He sees the bad girl they chase, and then he crashes, he falls asleep in the in the cemetery, wakes up to his mom's calling.
SPEAKER_00Oh, this was great. This is such a great moment. Um, so he's he's stumbling out chasing her, right? And they put they fastened this rig where the camera faces that way, it's on his body, you know? Uh, because you know, film school. Um, so then he's he's walking and then he falls down to the crown. He does knees first and then falls onto his side, right? Because that's all you could do because you have a camera rig in front of you, you can't fall on your stomach. But then they do a direct cut where he's laying on his stomach, which is really funny because that's the opposite of what you just showed me in the scene before that. That's called filmmaking, everybody. The guy's a joke. He's a joke, Dan. He's terrible.
SPEAKER_01Man, he's he's he's not just critiquing Hollywood, Tony. He's critiquing your whole life.
SPEAKER_00I'm critiquing his filmmaking abilities, which he seems to think he's pretty good at, but I think he's straight trash.
SPEAKER_01So he's got the Jesus record. He goes to his apartment, he starts working it out on a tomato pie pizza box.
SPEAKER_00You know, worst pizza I've ever seen, by the way. Is that really what it looks like? Have you ever had this pizza? What do you mean? Of course. Tomato pie. She goes to the fridge and belt at some point. Does it look that bad? It looks like there's no sauce and no cheese. Just looks like crust with a little bit of stuff on it. It looked really, really gross. I don't know. I've never tried it. I was just asking if it was good. It didn't look good.
SPEAKER_01Um Tony.
SPEAKER_00It went out of business, he said, so obviously it wasn't very good.
SPEAKER_01So he's working, he's trying to work out the mystery, and he's got all these numbers and doing all this thing. And then he's like, you know what? I need to do I need to stand over all the seminal lady images in my world and masturbate on top of them.
SPEAKER_00As we all do. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's really clever stuff. And one of the pictures is bugging him, so he flips through it, and boom, there's an escorts ad, and the girl that he saw the night before is in the ad. So he's like, Well, I'm gonna do that instead. So he calls her, and then she comes over. Yeah. And then he starts quizzing her about the pirate and what does it all mean, and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. She goes and eats some of his pizza and climbs on top of it.
SPEAKER_00That's when we saw the pizza, and it didn't look good. That's all I was saying. She seemed to be enjoying it. Sure. Well, you know. To each their own, I guess.
SPEAKER_01So then she tells this whole story about how the only time that she'd ever seen Sarah was a couple years ago when she was in a glass box and all the men were like tapping on the glass box.
SPEAKER_00Now, I understand, I agree that you would you would remember that moment. Yeah. You wouldn't remember her face. Maybe. Sorry. I okay. Let me just be let me say this. I wouldn't remember that. I would have no, I'd be like, yeah, I think she was blonde. I don't know. Well, that's that's your misogynist speaking, Tony. I it's I do the same thing with you. People like show me pictures that day. I'm like, I don't know this guy. Like, yeah, yeah, it's Dan Goodsounds. Like, oh, I know that guy. Well, I'm Tony, I gotta make a tough to remember for me. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I used to like I'd see somebody at the flea market, and then five years later, I'd be like, Oh, I saw you at this other flea market. Oh, that's crazy.
SPEAKER_00Okay. If people can do it, people can do it. I can't do it.
SPEAKER_01I know voices too.
SPEAKER_00Really?
SPEAKER_01Do you remember that uh movie, The Player? Yeah. Um, so he's being hounded by like that guy, right? That the whole thing about that movie is he's being terrorized by someone. You can't figure out who it is.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, I'm sitting in there in the movie theater and I'm like, wait, I used to work with that guy.
SPEAKER_00All right. So not that you knew him from the movie. You just knew his voice in real life. That's incredible. Wait a second. That's very funny.
SPEAKER_01He was because we work with a lot of actors, you know. Sure. So he was an actor, so I was like, That's very funny. I know that guy. He was on a I know this guy. He was on a Star Trek Next Generation episode, the one where they uh little TNG, where they take data apart and they want to, he wants to figure out how data works so we can make more data.
SPEAKER_00Oh, why wouldn't you? Data's the best.
SPEAKER_01Good episode. Great episode.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it's gotta be cool to be in like a great episode, you know, if you're gonna be in one episode of Star Trek. You better be a good one. Being a great one. Yeah. Um and she says, the guys whose house it was, he was like, he's that guy that directs the big action films based on cleaning products.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You love that joke. That's a good joke. No, didn't love that joke. I'd watch a movie about the Swiffer.
SPEAKER_01Um in the morning, he's he's sitting there
Song Cipher Leads To Griffith Observatory
SPEAKER_01playing on guitar and he figures out the uh he figures out the song on guitar, he and then he figures out the code. But that he figures out the code, and the code is rub Dean's head and wait under Newton, and then he realizes that it's uh that it's the Griffiths Observatory, goes up there, rubs James Dean's head, and then waits under uh under the Isaac Newton, and then here comes the king of the homeless to take homeless king, my favorite character. Homeless guy with a cardboard crown painted gold.
SPEAKER_00Yep, great stuff.
SPEAKER_01Puts a blindfold on, leaves him, talks about coyotes. He's like, if you ever see a coyote, follow the coyote. That's terrible advice.
SPEAKER_00I did it just for the I did it once. Why does that not surprise me? I follow coyotes all the time. Coyotes are great. No, coyotes are scary. All right, don't follow a coyote.
SPEAKER_01A coyote he ends up following in a movie, very big coyote. Usually they're pretty little.
SPEAKER_00Huge, yeah. No, they uh we have coyotes all the time, and I was like, is this even a coyote? Because this is a big coyote.
SPEAKER_01It's a big coyote. It would eat your face off. I follow, yeah, I followed a coyote. I was on my walk in the morning, and I saw one, and I was like, uh, I want to get a c want to get a good picture of him, but he was far away, so I I followed him for three or four blocks.
SPEAKER_00You didn't have your pup with you, did you? No. Oh, okay. Then it's fine.
SPEAKER_01I always watch for it with the when I have my dog out. Because sometimes you'll go out and she'll be like, you know, like, okay, what's going on?
SPEAKER_00Uh oh. Yeah, watch out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I'm really careful on that because I don't want to have to fight a coyote off.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because then you gotta do the whole into the gray thing and break a bottle and fight the coyote. Yeah, it's tough.
SPEAKER_01So he follows the the guy, takes him to this door, sends him through the door through this tunnel, which leads to like this sort of bomb sheltery kind of thing with a bed and sort of things. And he crawls up this other tunnel, which puts him in the back of a supermarket in the in the milk freezer.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, why what? Why?
SPEAKER_01Um I think that what this guy does a lot is he works either with his or with his own, like this not sense memories, but like these primal memories we have. And I mean, do you remember the your memory when you first realized that it was like open behind the milk, and there was like a guy that would push the milk in from behind?
SPEAKER_00I don't remember that.
SPEAKER_01I specifically remember that from my childhood, the point at which you're like there, you know, like look at How'd you think it got in there? Well, I didn't think there was a guy it was open behind it where a guy just fed it in, and then you know, you like see the guy in there, and you're just like, oh, there's so many levels to the world. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00I want to live inside your brain sometimes, Dan. The wonder. The wonder's this movie. This movie is my brain. This is then then I don't want to live inside your brain. The way you say it sounds magical, the way he says it sounds shitty. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01But it's all there, it's all there, all there in the text.
SPEAKER_00No, no, it is not. It's no text.
SPEAKER_01So he goes walking home and he sees that the uh house kids because you look at these things positively, Dan.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you you know what I'm saying? He does not. He's he he is too cool for school, and everything is beneath him, and he's so cool. You would you live in that wonder. You're like, oh, there's someone, there's so many levels to the world. You don't say that next as if, like, oh god, there's another level that's so shitty, everything's bad. You have a wonder, a joy to you, Dan. That you don't show the world very often, I don't think, but you have it, and it's beautiful. Didn't you like how he like started drinking one of the milks back there? I did actually like that, but I was like, thief. And he's stealing stuff. He's gotta go pay for that at the counter now.
SPEAKER_01Then did you think about what happens when the milk spills down the grate into the place below? Just all the way down.
SPEAKER_00It's gonna smell so bad. Yeah. Ugh. Probably. But they're gonna live there until they die.
SPEAKER_01Um, he's going by this the owl's kiss guy, and he's been killed. So he waits for the police to leave, then he goes and sneaks in there. He's been killed. So uh watches the videotape of the owl's kiss naked lady come in there and kill him, and then uh steals his moonstone serious.
SPEAKER_00Kill himself? No. I don't understand. That's real? Wait, watch him. I don't I don't understand.
SPEAKER_01They watched it on the videotape. Yeah, it's real.
SPEAKER_00Right, I get that, but I'm pretty sure that he's crazy. I he's an untrustworthy uh narrator.
SPEAKER_01You mean our guy? Andrew Garfield?
SPEAKER_00You don't trust Andrew Garfield, but I don't trust him at all. Really? But you because what is this owl? Because this is just crazy. This owl woman's real. Why is she why is she real? Why is she naked? Why is she wearing an owl? Why does she eat you? I agree that the bed is too bloody for a suicide. That's correct. She definitely got torn apart. Um, but it's can't be that can't be real. So there's a serial killer out there, and we're just not dealing with any of this?
SPEAKER_01It's like a monster. It's like uh it's like Mothman.
SPEAKER_00But that's not real. We saw the movie Richard Gere. We did, Richard Gere, baby. Come on. Um looked real in the movie. I just did it. I don't remember you having that opinion when we did it for this show. I don't know, man. This movie's just it's crazy.
SPEAKER_01So he steals the steals the moonstones box. Um, then Alan calls him up, and you know, he's walking, so Alan's like, I'm going to a chess party. So he goes to the chess party. I like the chess party. That's so classic. Um all the all the random all the random girls are there. You know, the three evil girls, yeah, the balloon girl is there, the vampire girls are all there. Um he's playing chess with Alan, and I really love how deep Alan is into the game, and he just doesn't fucking care.
SPEAKER_00Because Topher Grace is great.
SPEAKER_01That wasn't Topher Grace. This is Alan.
SPEAKER_00Um the guy from Psych. Sorry. Whoever that guy is. I don't know who that guy is. I feel bad, yeah. From It's Always Sonny and Psyche. Yeah, I I feel terrible. Yeah. He's wonderful. He's great.
SPEAKER_01Uh he really he embodies like this other he's this other movie, you know, that kind of comes into this movie and just like a real movie.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I agree. You're right.
SPEAKER_01So he leaves the he leaves the game, follows Jesus into the bathroom, and then attacks Jesus. But before we get Jesus on the, he pulls him off the toilet naked. You love this scene.
SPEAKER_00I hate that.
SPEAKER_01You loved this scene.
SPEAKER_00This scene was great. No, why do we show a giant shit covered in maybe glitter? I couldn't tell.
SPEAKER_01You want to pause the film and say, like, what is going on with this? I don't.
SPEAKER_00I want to fast forward. It's only on screen for about one second. I'm like, that's a second too long. Don't need that whatsoever.
SPEAKER_01And then this it's just so funny. He beats the shit out of this guy. And it's I don't know. It was so funny.
SPEAKER_00I didn't find it funny. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all.
SPEAKER_01Uh okay. So he beats the shit out of that this guy, and then this does. And then this guy's like, Jesus is like, I didn't write the secret song that had the secret code in it. This the songwriter wrote it. And then they figure out where the songwriter is, and then the three girls walk him in their gigantic high heels to middle of nowhere. I don't know. That's like one of the that's like you have to reach the suspension of disbelief that these girls would walk him to this building in the middle of nowhere in their high heels in the middle of the day.
SPEAKER_00No.
SPEAKER_01He climbs the fence that he f goes up this path, this map map painting to this mansion in the sky. Which is like an allusion to Citizen Cain. Fake. So fake. Yeah, because he's he's talking about Citizen Kane now. That's a Citizen Kane thing. Oh, is it? Rose Bud. Total Citizen Cain thing.
SPEAKER_00Another movie that I hate, by the way.
SPEAKER_01So this old guy sitting at the piano and he plays a medley of the biggest song hits.
The Songwriter Reveal And Movie References
SPEAKER_01Debatable.
SPEAKER_00Um not my radio. Well, he wasn't talking to you, he was talking to me. No, he was not talking to me. You're absolutely correct about that.
SPEAKER_01Um, and basically, this guy lives in this mansion, and then he writes one third of all the hit songs of all time.
unknownAnd
SPEAKER_01Um yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, keep going. Yeah, tell me all this deep meaning about how this is all about all white men do all the powerful stuff. It's just all the rich white men. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, it's just don't care.
SPEAKER_01It's more sort of like an invalidation of like this of art itself. Well, it's it's kind of a duality, right? Because this whole movie is about youth and age, right? Age is saying we do everything important, and then youth is like, well, we do youth stuff, and that's what's really important. And then the old people try and take the, you know, take try to say that they're the ones that really did it, but the youth really did it. You know, because at a certain point most people stop being creative, right?
SPEAKER_00Which I think is uh is very sad. I mean that's what hook is about, and we can talk about how that's an actual movie that makes uh a comment about society, but that's fine. Rasmataz. But yeah, I mean, yes, in general, people people die inside their souls, yeah. That's what you're saying, just less mean.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, why not us? You know, we're gonna do Steven Spielberg's disclosure at some point, and I don't think it's gonna go well.
SPEAKER_00I did I I watched it.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you watched it. Did it go well?
SPEAKER_00We should definitely it did not go well. We should definitely do this.
SPEAKER_01You know, you just like I'm sure there's gonna, you know, just like War of the Worlds, there's some really interesting stuff in there. And some less. There's more audience. There's less I assume there's gonna be a lot less, but you know.
SPEAKER_00But there is there is an interesting movie in there. He just he has no interest in telling that story, which is interesting in itself. Yeah. We'll definitely do it for this. I might need a a little reprieve because we just watched it last weekend.
SPEAKER_01Heal your wounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he gets mad, and then the guy starts shooting at him for an unknowable reason, then he beats the shit out of him with uh with a Kirk Cobain's guitar.
SPEAKER_00He caves his skull in. He didn't just beat the shit out of him, he murdered this man. His head exploded. I think. But is that real? I don't know, because then we just cut away to the next scene, and he's not he's fine.
SPEAKER_01It's also like uh the the face being caved in like that is a it's a reference to some other movie that I can't think of.
SPEAKER_00Well, I'm gonna tell you right now that I think at least 60% of this movie, maybe more, is just references to other older movies that did things better than him. I think so. I think there's because again, he's a child that sees cool things and is like, I can do that cool thing. Watch how I do it. But that doesn't mean anything when he does it because he doesn't understand why they did it to begin with.
SPEAKER_01Because there's a lot of Chinatown in this movie. There's just so much Chinatown in this movie.
SPEAKER_00Moholland Drive, for sure. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I I I'd have to re-watch Chinatown again.
SPEAKER_00I I've only ever said Moholland Drive, and I would not recommend that. I watched that movie one time, I'll never see it again for the rest of my life.
SPEAKER_01That's the David Lynch.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And is that what's her name from Jurassic Park? Is that your work again?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it is. I'm ignoring them now. I already told them what I need. They can do it or not.
SPEAKER_01It's Laura Dern in that. I hope no one from work watches this.
SPEAKER_00It's Laura Dern. They're all great. Laura Dern in. Laura Dern, yeah. I think I turned it off and couldn't finish it. I think that that's the right decision, Dan. Harsh movie. Harsh movie. Harsh movie. It's a tough one. Tough movie. I would not recommend it.
SPEAKER_01I bet you there's a bunch of I bet you there's a bunch of Maholland Drive in here. You know, I know there's a bunch of Chinatown in here. Yeah. Um, okay. So he leaves, he goes home, uh, Vision of the Body Snatchers is on and Naomi Watts.
SPEAKER_00It's Naomi Watts in Maholland Drive, isn't it? It doesn't matter. I don't care. We're moving on. Yeah. I would not recommend watching that movie to anybody.
SPEAKER_01I guess we'll have to do it. No, Dan, it's real. It's tough. Is that the one where there's like the stain on the carpet and there's like the flies like hanging out on the stain on the carpet? That's the one. Wait, are you saying yes? Yeah, I'm saying yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you're acting like you weren't saying yes.
SPEAKER_00I'm actually anymore, Dan.
SPEAKER_01It's like if it just creeps into your brain, your brain starts reacting. It gets in there and it fasters, yeah. So he gets the owl's kids, attacks him now and tries to kill him, but luckily he has a gun and he chases it off and it disappears into his room, and he's looking for it in his room, and he looks in one of the drawers.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Oh, you found that interesting. You said that as if you found that interesting.
SPEAKER_01I did. Um, I did find it interesting. Um and then boom, knock on the door is the police, and we're like, okay, a normal movie. This is like you killed a guy, shit's gonna come down. Nope, it's the eviction. Nope. Doesn't matter at all. And they're like, okay, we're gonna give you one more day. One more day, boom! He
Homeless “Ghosts” And Silver Lake Shooting
SPEAKER_01goes outside, he sees a coyote in the trash, he follows the coyote, goes up to a house in the hills, there's Millicent at another party, and then they go in and look at a Janet Gainer painting. Yeah. And then they walk out. This is a great scene, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00Oh god.
SPEAKER_01They walk out and they're they're on the edge of Silver Lake, and they run into this homeless guy, and the homeless side's like, Give me money, give me money, or I'm gonna shit in your mouth. And then he sort of gets into it with the guy, and then he goes past him and he says a line that I don't know how you get away with this line in a movie.
SPEAKER_00Where he hates the homeless people. I hate the homeless.
SPEAKER_01He literally says, I hate the homeless because they're just leeches on all of us.
SPEAKER_00And he says something like, they see you doing your stupid shit and they're jealous, so they get mean or something. I I'm paraphrasing that horribly. But just what the fuck? What the fuck are you talking about, Dan?
SPEAKER_01I mean, yeah, he refers to them as ghosts, and they're just they they poltergeist that they just haunt you while you're eating great food and having great sex and living in crazy. That's what it is.
SPEAKER_00Dan did it right. I did not do it right.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, that's a pretty fucked up thing to say. Um, they then climb the fence, go into the Silver Lake, and start swimming, and then they act like they're having sex, but she's like, We're not actually having sex, we're just acting like we have sex in case they're watching us.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01And then they then they start shooting at them and they kill her, and that's like the most beautiful shot of her body disappearing beneath the silver lake. Under the silver lake. He just gets out. Oh, wait, she just got shot and murdered. She gives him the final clue bracelet. That's what I forgot.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, great stuff.
SPEAKER_01Does he do anything about her getting shot? And then no.
SPEAKER_00Just doesn't care. Keep quiet. Doesn't give a shit about anything. It's fine. People die every day, it's alright.
SPEAKER_01He wakes up to the bird.
Nintendo Power Clue And Underground Rich Men
SPEAKER_01He starts decoding the uh the clues of the the bracelet and ends up finding that you gotta use the Nintendo Power magazine.
SPEAKER_00What you have to use a Nintendo Power? Are you freaking kidding me? This which was irate.
SPEAKER_01Which luckily has a stack of on his floor.
SPEAKER_00He's got a whole stack of all of them. It's fine. I just, Dan, I just hate it so much. I it's so awful. Uh, but also, by the way, I used to collect Nintendo Powers. I'm sure you uh sure you knew that. But guess when I didn't have them 2011. Nope, don't have those anymore. Wish I did, don't.
SPEAKER_01So he looks at it and basically it's like just like a just like one little line, which is like Silver Lake and then uh Mount Hollywood. And then he looks at Mount Hollywood on like like the Googles, and there's like satellite image not available of this area. I hate you. So he follows it up, so mad. He follows it up and he finds this hut, and then in this hut there's a dude and these other three girls. And basically, what we find out is that these rich guys convince these three girls, convince a group of three girls that they're going to ascend to the next state. They then encase themselves, they bury themselves under concrete, and then they all just basically die and ascend to have sex for six months and then die.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, at some point.
SPEAKER_01So the one girl, the Sarah girl, went with the the missing millionaire, the dead millionaire, they fake the death. They have like a little and he he's like, uh he's like, Oh, you want to talk to her on the phone? And he's all like, Yeah. So he calls her on the phone. Hold on.
SPEAKER_00You just skipped the only good line of this whole thing. Which is when he's like, incoming calls only. We've had trouble before, people trying to get out. Oh fuck. That did make me laugh pretty hard. I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's pretty good. Um, he calls her on the phone. There she is, down in like the the thing. There's like a naked one lady's naked.
SPEAKER_00Well, because hold on, he calls her on the phone, and then they take out a magical box, and he's like, You want to see her own video call? And then it's just it works, and then it also follows her to another room. It's the technology that he uses drives me.
SPEAKER_01She goes to another room and there's like another setup.
SPEAKER_00Right. No, I understand that, Dad. That's not how video calls work. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Um she's basically like, eh, it seemed like the thing to do at the time. Gotta go, because I'm making dinner tonight. Yep.
SPEAKER_00I just I hate it. That's the answer. I couldn't hate it more.
SPEAKER_01The answer is that rich guys are tricking these women into their, you know, post-life situations. Into their deaths. Yeah. Basically, they're like the they're like the new pharaohs where they seal people into the tomb at the end of their lives.
SPEAKER_00We're the kings. Oh, we're the kings, because we're powerful rich white men. God, I hate everybody.
SPEAKER_01Yep. So it turns out they drugged him, everyone's drugged, they all fall over, and then here comes the homeless king. He carries Andrew away, takes him to this room, chains him up, and then's like, Why do you have dog biscuits in your in your pockets? And then he has to explain that he's probably not the dog killer.
SPEAKER_00That, but you bought he's like, Oh, I have it in my pocket just in case my ex-girlfriend's dog comes back and I want to pet it. Isn't that what he says? Yeah, it's crazy. That's a crazy thing to say.
SPEAKER_01I don't think it was the best, the most well-handled thing of disproving that he's the dog killer.
SPEAKER_00This movie didn't handle something right? Oh, I'm so shocked, Dan.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I'm not saying this movie's great, but I think it's interesting.
SPEAKER_00I don't think it's interesting at all. I think it's visually appealing. Yeah, and that's it. I mean, it it is pretty, but again, that just drives me crazy because LA is ugly as F.
SPEAKER_01Um Okay, boom on the last few things. Wakes up in the zoo cage. Okay, then they lets him go. Uh that was at the that was at the where the old zoo used to be. That's why those those caves look like that. Oh you can go up there up in Griffith Park and see them. He goes as he's walking home. Oh, I missed the part where he he saw his old girlfriend. Oh, was that the part it was at the party of Millson? He runs into his old girlfriend. She's got a new fiance, she's like, How's your job? And he's like, fine. And she's like, Oh, my, I'm going, things are going good with me, even though when he's walking back this time he sees her uh her thing being papered over, which covered by a clown. Which which is another proof that this is a this is the epilogue wherein he has he has moved beyond this phase in his life. He has left. Because her billboard's getting covered up. He's left, he's left youth and he's he's he's entering adulthood.
SPEAKER_00No, he's not. Yeah, he is. I understand that he again he thinks he is. He's not. He is people don't change.
SPEAKER_01Tony, you know people change. People change all the time.
SPEAKER_00Okay. That's my story. Not for the better.
SPEAKER_01Um That's
The Ending Argument About “Growing Up”
SPEAKER_01my story. That's a good story. He brought back Crackers and OJ, he got his package from his mom. He's watching the the Gloria Gaynor movie, he's got the gun still. On his 2011 VHS V C R. Yeah, great. He hears the bird talking, so then he goes over to see the the sexy next door neighbor lady, and then there he can have sex with her. Just another conquest. And he has sex with her, and this actually, this is probably the most interesting, this is interesting shot of the whole movie, is that he's like, asks her what the bird has to say, and then she's like, I don't know, I I don't even know where he came from. Then he's standing out on her balcony, looking at his balcony, and you can see the keep quiet sign which they've they've drawn on the thing in his apartment, and the landlord's pissed off that that's on the wall, and they're evicting him. As you would be. He is he is saying goodbye to all of the bullshit of childhood, and he has entered into adulthood.
SPEAKER_00Because by being the next homeless king, because he doesn't have a job, a place to live, or a car.
SPEAKER_01So as opposed to somebody like me who has never left child childhood, and Tony, who has never left childhood either.
SPEAKER_00Refuse to, absolutely. Yeah, no need to. Because we're some people are better as children. He was not. He's a piece of shit. He's an evolved person now. He's evolved past him. No, he's not. Let's see a sequel where he's just another piece of shit all over again. Let's see it. Do it. Come on, guy with three names, make another one. So, yeah, a lot to think about with this movie. Zero. I'm not thinking about. I when I woke up this morning, I was like, I hardly remember this movie. It just went in one ear, out the other. Such nonsense. We can watch it again. No, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. Oh, I refuse. I will never do this. Yeah. Great time. There it is. Out of the Silver Lake.
SPEAKER_01Silver Lake, two words.
SPEAKER_00It's I think Silver Lake as a city is one word, though, right? I I think so. Okay, so when I first made our show, I was I wrote it as one word and then I looked at the title of the movie. I was like, oh, it's two. That's weird. No. I don't know. So is it Silver Lake Lake?
SPEAKER_01Or is it Silver Lake? Lake.
SPEAKER_00That's interesting. Or is it just Silver Lake? I don't know the answer.
SPEAKER_01It's all it's all raw.
SPEAKER_00It's all stuff you could just look up very easily, but we're not going to do it. No thanks.
What We Watch Next Beyond Movies
SPEAKER_00Tony, tell us about Reacher. Hey, I'm having a great time with Reacher. This is so last season was was entertaining, but not it didn't feel like Reacher to me. Sure. Like it just, I don't know. It was different. It had different vibes. We're we're back. We're so back. This season's fun. There's a good little mystery. There's some great action scenes. And yeah, I'm just having a great time. I'm just I'm thrilled that it's it's back to where I feel like that show shines. Uh and also I think I read that this was Alan Richardson's favorite book. So that also I I feel like you kind of feel that he's really enjoying this season.
SPEAKER_01So he just it's great. He enjoys beating the shit out of people, just walking up to people and beginning to beat the shit out of him. It's always enjoyable.
SPEAKER_00You're like, he's enjoying this. Everyone's enjoying this. We're having a good time. What about you? What'd you like? Not Reacher. Started Lanterns, the Green Lantern. Oh DDS. Yeah, okay. Great. And great. Great, great, great, great, great. Is it great? Are you sure? It's DC. It's great. Um I really like Kyle Chandler. So that excites me. He's great. He's a dick. Okay.
SPEAKER_01The guy playing John Stewart. He's great. The mystery's interesting. Uh take taking place over multiple time periods.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01And um look, you know, the yeah, there just lots of great stuff in it.
SPEAKER_00Um I have a problem now where I don't like to watch things week to week. I'm even struggling with Reacher. So we're just waiting for at least a couple episodes so we can hit it and get into it. But I that is on our list. I'm excited.
SPEAKER_01I you know, it was like I saw the promo, and then people were like, wow, about this, that, or the other thing. And then you you watch it, and then you look at the the comments, and everybody's like, this is great, this great, great, love it, love it, great, great, great, great, love it, love, love, love, great, great, great. Yeah. Um my only thing was the costume in the one shot that they had, the costume, the costume looked bad. Didn't look great. Okay, whatever. I can I can I could care less about that over the long run. I mean, I won't and maybe they won't show the costume that much, you know. I just want to see the I just want to see characters doing charactery stuff, and that's what happens. Have you have you seen Supergirl yet?
SPEAKER_00No. I haven't done it yet. Okay.
SPEAKER_01We gotta do it for this, I think, at some point. I've read uh I've read I've read about it. Oh, well okay, great.
SPEAKER_00Well, then that's a spoiler alert, I think. So many problems. Interesting. Because that's on my list of things to do because Jason Momo is in it.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, he's supposed to be great, so not surprising.
SPEAKER_00He's it turns out he's he's good in everything now. Jason Momo is just, you know I did I didn't love him as Aquaman.
SPEAKER_01Well, those Aquaman, those Aquaman movies were just bad movies. It wasn't exactly false.
SPEAKER_00That's what I'm learning. That's what I'm saying. I'm apologizing to Jason Momo because everything I've seen him in since, I've it turns out I've really enjoyed it. Like as soon as he did the Fast and the Furious movie, was it nine? Everybody he plays this deranged bag, and it's delightful. Ever since then, I feel like everything he's done, he's done because he enjoys it. Yeah. And it it shows. It's great.
SPEAKER_01I think he tried with Aquaman. He's like, okay, let's try to do this, and I think the system let him down. Which it does. Look at Under the Silver Lake. It seems like it seems like he's making more consistent choices with what he what he thinks he's gonna kick ass in.
SPEAKER_00I think so, and he's right. So it's good. Know thyself. It's good.
SPEAKER_01Tony,
Next Pick: Supergirl
SPEAKER_01we need a we need a bad movie. I have I have like a piece of paper that has so many bad movies on it, so I have to imagine you also. It's hard.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's hard to choose, but I'm gonna give you a choice. Oh, a choice. Because I have been waiting to do the breadwinner. Because I do want to see that movie bread of Supergirl.
SPEAKER_01Breadwinner will always be there. Supergirl.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but maybe oh, so you that's not the two choices breadwinner and supernatural. I would like you to choose because both of them are things that I wanted to watch this week.
SPEAKER_01So I think we should do Supergirl. Just because I think we need to, you know, get it done before it's get her done. Not too far in the future. The breadwinner. Nobody gives a shit about the breadwinner. Nobody cares about it, no one's gonna care about it. But the Supergirl people, there's still a bit of dialogue going on about Supergirl.
SPEAKER_00All right, let's we're doing it. We're doing Supergirl. I love this.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, I watched a I think I watched the Honest Trailers. I think I watched Honest Trailers of it.
SPEAKER_00I I save those until after we do our podcast because I don't want to steal any jokes. Because I do enjoy the Honest Trailers a lot, so I never want to like take from them.
SPEAKER_01They had one really good one of the, you know, they give them all different names. I don't remember what it was, but the name was just it was like, okay, that's fucking hilarious. I love that. It's good. Yeah, they're great. Let's let's follow James Gunn to his final DC movie. Oh, I like that take.
SPEAKER_00I'm waiting for it. Yeah, they fire him.
SPEAKER_01They were talking about all the you know, all the similarities between everything James Gunn has ever done. And yeah, you know, they're there. You have that Mr. Terrific fight in Superman, and you're like, Yep, that was a great fight. And then you like they show like this other fight in Supergirl where they were sort of trying to do the same thing, and you're just couldn't do it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Sounds about right.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Just stop. I'm excited. Let's see. Yeah, let's see how this goes. What a treat.
SPEAKER_01Supergirl, super girl.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but we'll we'll we'll get to Nate one of these days. This poor guy. Poor Nate, but I got it. I love him too. So yeah, we'll get there. We'll get there. Yeah, we'll get there.
Like Subscribe And Sign Off
SPEAKER_01Uh if you like what we do, give us a thumbs up, leave a comment, or subscribe. Uh, we have one guy that keeps like leaving the same comment on one of our videos. Oh, okay. I'll check it out. Like, okay, bro. Is it a mean comment? Oh, no, it just doesn't make any sense. It's just like, you know, ah bah. It's like on it's like on Zardoz or something. You're just like, okay, you wanted to leave the same comment four times on Zardoz. Ah, okay.
SPEAKER_00Those were good days. Zardoz was good. I miss those days.
SPEAKER_01I was watching something where they were talking about Zardoz, and you were like, okay, Zardoz. Zardoz is great. All right. We'll be talking about Supergirl, and until then, thank you, and good night. Goodbye, everybody.