Hate Watching Play Dirty: A Train Wreck So Big Even the CGI Ran Away

A great heist hums like clockwork: clear motives, sharp reversals, and rules the audience can trust. Play Dirty aims for that swagger but keeps slipping on its own tone, ricocheting between hard-boiled grit and broad comedy. We dive into why that mismatch turns big swings—a racetrack robbery, a physics-defying train derailment, a billionaire kidnapping—into set pieces that don’t carry weight, and how characters without real wants leave tension on the table.

We start with Shane Black’s arc from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and The Nice Guys to this Amazon release, then stack the movie against the Parker novels’ dry, ruthless DNA. Parker claims a code, but the story rarely honors it; the Outfit looms, but stakes feel abstract. Meanwhile, Lakeith Stanfield and Tony Shalhoub hint at a better film—one where wit lands and menace breathes—if only the script slowed down to let relationships form. When your thief’s vendetta shows up as a twist rather than a compass, the final reveal can’t resolve the mess behind it.

From the vault that pops like tin foil to a New York that forgets to populate its streets, we also talk craft: why spatial logic matters, how music can sabotage momentum, and what separates chaotic noise from thrilling escalation. Then we hold Play Dirty against the genre’s gold standards—The Killing, Heat, even the breezy precision of classic capers—to map the ingredients that make heists sing: competence, consequence, and a world with firm rules.

If you love capers, botched or brilliant, you’ll have fun arguing with us. Hit play, then tell us your take: did the tone clash wreck the con, or did the ride still deliver? Subscribe, share with a friend who swears by heist movies, and drop a review with your favorite caper twist.

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Transcript

Cold Open And Show Intro

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I hope you remember it because it's been a bunch of days.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

I it's been a few days for me too now, unfortunately. And I watched most of it in a car. Whilst driving said car.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

So, you know, you watched our movie while driving a car.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Yeah, from to and from work the other day I was watching it. Just um put it on my dash instead of my speedometer. I don't need to know how fast I'm going. I'm going fast. It's good. Super safe. I do do not recommend everybody. Don't do that, kids at home.

SPEAKER_04 0:43

Dan and Tony.

Shane Black’s Career Rollercoaster

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I am Dan. I am Tony. This is the show that dares to watch the movies that are released on Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime, yeah. Um, we live in a strange time, Tony.

SPEAKER_00 1:05

For movies or in general? For movies.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

It's just they make they make these movies, and you're like, it feels like they did sort of half of it. You know, like half of it felt like you know it was a real movie. And then the other half you're like, nah, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Which uh which half did you prefer, Dan?

SPEAKER_02 1:26

Well, let well let's let's say what the movie is and then we'll we'll talk about the half.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Of course. Yeah, this is um this is a big one for me, right? So let me let me pull up my timeline here. I gotta pull up a timeline real quickly. I should have been I should have been ready for this, and I apologize. I wasn't quite ready. I was bored. So no, no, not me, Shane. Oh, we're talking about Shane here, okay? So let's go back in time here. Let's travel back to the wonderful year of 1987, when two of the greatest movies of all time were released, both written by the incredibly talented Shane Black, and that is Lethal Weapon and Monster Squad. Obviously, Monster Squad co-written with Frank Decker. It's great. Anyhow.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Wait, hold on, hold on. Let me let me add a caveat. The once.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

I said what I said, Dan. Okay, I'll I'll get to that. I'll get to that. So then this wonderful guy, Shane Black, decides that he should direct things, right? And uh he did a couple of bangers, but he's been very spotty. Let me be clear. Kiss, kiss, bang, bang, home run. Love that movie. Iron Man 3, kind of weird. Not great. It's probably the worst of the Iron. I don't know. Iron Man 2's weird too.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

Oh no, Iron Man 2 is the bad one. Iron Man. I don't think I've seen Iron Man Man 3.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Is Iron Man 3 the one with that introduces um what's his name as the actor? Yeah, the man.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

No.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Is Iron Man 3 the the one where it's the guy sets the lights on fire? I think Iron Man 3 might be the one where he lights on fire and then they have to throw all the suits at him. I think that's Iron Man. But I think no, actually, I think that is the Mandarin one. It is the Mandarin one. I think they're both the same. And then it's based on it's based on a fairly contemporary Iron Man, you know, a storyline that was not that old at the time.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Oh, sure. Okay. It's it's what's his name?

SPEAKER_02 3:36

The Australian guy from uh LA Confidential.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Who's is that Guy Pierce?

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Guy Pierce.

Parker Novels And Tone Problem

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Okay, great. Ben Kingsley. That's who yeah, that's who we're trying. The man is. He was so good. So good. And that movie, you know, I like it. I think it's good. Also weirdly takes place at Christmas. He's got Shane Black has a thing about movies taking place at Christmas, but not dealing with Christmas at all. I don't know what that's about. He should get that looked at. Um, but then he did, you know, the nice guys, great. And then that was 2016. Two years later, he does The Predator, which we did, and then he took a long break because that movie was really bad. And he came back 2025. So that's what, seven-year break, and this is what happens. He comes out with the banger play dirty. This is not the comeback vehicle I was hoping it was going to be. But I will say it's better than The Predator, right? Nope.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

No, no, God no. God no. Predators was bad and stupid. But this this movie, this movie top to bottom, is just top to bottom.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

This movie just doesn't make, I mean Well, what you were gonna say is true. It doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

Okay, this Play Dirty is based on the Parker books. Parker were these books from the I don't know, 50s, 60s or whatever. And then they these books were all adapted by Darwin Cook in the comic book form. Oh, I didn't know that. Ten years ago or so. Then Darwin Darwin Darwin has it's gone on to die. But Darwin took these books and made some of the best comic books that have ever been produced. Probably his best work, and he produced a lot of great things. Um interesting. Do do I know anything that that he's done? He did New Frontier, which was uh his sort of rewriting of the the beginning of the DC com the DC Superhero universe, which is super worth reading. It's great. Um it's beautiful, and yeah, it's it's wonderful. And then he did he's like one of the people that sort of did some Catwoman stuff, and uh he worked on the the reimagining of the Watchman, you know, after they sort of pushed Alan Moore out. He and he did a lot of stuff, and just a great illustrator, great comic illustrator, wonderful. And but these Parker books are his they are his they were his passion project. He had complete control. You you should you should look them up, they're great. I have I have them all packed away somewhere and have read them. Um and they're worth they're they're comic books worth rereading because he's taken great text and then added pictures and added his own thing. And the thing about the Parker novels is they are dry, they are hard-boiled, they are not wacky. Yeah, that's the problem with this movie. This movie like kind of goes hard boiled at times, and then it's like it's just a wacky keeper movie, don't you think?

SPEAKER_00 6:57

It's interesting because it really, if you think about it, it really is not a combination, but it's both things at once, which is Shane Black's like, I want to be goofy and and jokey and and witty, mixed with this hard-boiled thing, and then Mark Wahlberg can't really do either of them. And so it's a weird triangle of not great, you know?

SPEAKER_02 7:22

It's tough. And you know, like in the Predator movie, you can be kind of jokey and stupid, and you're like, well, okay, here comes Keegan, here comes the whole bus load of misfits. Okay, bus load of misfits, that's fine. In this movie, you're just like, wow, here comes generalissimo, and you're just like, oh my god, they're doing generalissimo. I'm like, what why are we doing generalissimo? And then I mean, the best thing about this movie is we get to see Mark Cuban killed, like actual Mark Cuban supposedly killed.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

So you think he's killed or just winged? I couldn't, I they don't say, which is weird, and they make a weird joke about Mark, ah, I don't know him or something. It's like, what do you what? Yes, you do. Everybody knows Mark Cuban. Like, I don't think it's possible for someone to be like, I don't know who Mark Cuban is.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

I mean, if you're a criminal and you're paying attention to where money in the world is, you will know exactly who Mark Cuban is.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

A lot of it. I don't know. It's it was weird. It was a very weird moment, but it was you know cathartic.

Racetrack Heist Logic Gaps

SPEAKER_02 8:22

It was funny. You're just like, okay, that's that's kind of funny, but the and so the these books take place in like the 50s, 60s, back when there weren't cell phones, and you know, I I I will just talk about the one thing. We have one of the richest men in the world at a certain point, and he they walk into a restaurant where he's eating and kidnap him.

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Yep, just walk straight up to him, would never happen. Just even that first part. You're not gonna get within a five-foot bubble, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:56

You know, I think I've told this story on here before, but used I used to deal with the tenth richest man in California. And he had a guy who was there who you know would without without a thought pull a gun, pull his pull his gun out, shoot you in the head, and kill you. And yeah, and he would go home that night to his wife or wherever he lived, and wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't give it a second thought. And this guy doesn't he doesn't have bodyguards, and maybe a super rich guy in the 50s, 60s, maybe you could do something like that.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

And if you're gonna throw you know, it's it's like the whole improv thing that we've talked about is you lose the audience with each one of these things you do, yeah. And this movie just does it again and again and again and again.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Stack them up. Yeah, yeah, it's tough. It's hard, it's not great.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

So, you know, you have to make that decision if you want to be real or you want to be this jokey fun world. And if you're gonna keep so much of the real stuff, the the jokey stuff's never gonna work because it's we're just not gonna buy it.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Tone it's just totally a mess. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 10:17

Like these three people are gonna move move around uh a ship's masthead that weighs, you know, uh a half a ton. You're like, no.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

I could do it. I'll I could do it, Dan. I'll put her right on my back or get those those things that people use to move couches, whatever those are called, and I'll just off it. I'll do it all by myself. There's just yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

You know, the well one last thing to uh spoiler, they blow the vault, and the vault metal door is six inches thick, and it's flaming.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

I wouldn't say it's thin. I wouldn't say it's six inches thick. It is blowing with some dynamite. It's like oh boom. Keep in mind that this is supposedly impenetrable from everything everyone says, these vaults are impenetrable. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

The vault door that's is like six inches thick. You're like, what what is this? I don't I don't even begin to understand this.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

With my knife, just I heat up the knife and I just cut right through. Done.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

So, you know, you have endless things like that, which you might forgive if you were having a fun time, but you're never having a fun time with these characters.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

I like um the guy from Get Out. What's his name? Do you remember? The second this the second dude. Like second billing.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

Oh, the actor?

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

The actor dude, he's fine. I feel bad I don't remember his name. He's like uh Lake.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Lake Stanfield.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

Lakeith Stanfield. Yeah, I mean, looking back, he's like the one real character in the whole movie.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

He's I feel like if you surrounded him with a totally completely different cast, he'd be pretty good.

unknown 12:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

You know, if he had people to bounce off of, say his jokes to that would like, you know, return, return serve, volley a little bit, I think it would be okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

Yeah. I mean, yeah, if you just did there's just they set things up so that you have these these giant set pieces, and you're like, why are you wasting time with a giant set piece? The the tr blowing the train. You're just like, oh no, no.

Characters Without Wants

SPEAKER_00 12:39

That train seems crazy. Can we say that on this? That that is insane. They destroy like eight city blocks with probably a lot of dead people. And it's I think it's supposed to be funny. Is it is that part supposed to be kind of funny? Because they don't care at all.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

The roaring train goes for seven blocks and kills a thousand people when in in reality it would just thud into the ground and be done. It would just be like this.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Right. That would be it's done. You could maybe kill ten people, you know, it'll be fine.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

But instead, you gotta have Lake Keith rolling out of the way to avoid the the you're just like, come on. And it looks crap.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Yeah, so CGI's tough, right, in this movie. It's not good. It's it doesn't look great.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

I know it's bad, and and it that's fine, but if you make it do an absurd thing it just becomes stupid. If you know if they have if they're running down the street. I mean, if you're gonna do it to be fun, yeah, but but they're trying to do it to make it tense.

SPEAKER_05 13:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

It's not thrilling. You're like no one's gonna see your movie on a big screen. First of all, we're all gonna be you're Tony's gonna be watching it while driving his car.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

You say that as if like that's weird.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Let me just no, I say that as you're not gonna get a lot of impact from a movie that you're that is true. That you're semi, you're paying attention to as much as you do sports radio.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

I do sports radio. Uh I had to rewind it several times, I'll tell you that. Because also, like when you're driving, the glare gets in the way sometimes, and these iPhones don't have the brightest screens in the world. So I was like, what who who was that? What happened? But uh yeah, no, I like yeah, these details they're pretty much lost on me.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Uh yeah, and and and again, there's you know, I'm gonna talk a little bit about Sinners later, but Sinners spends an hour just getting characters ready.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Just characters ready.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

And it's like, you know, it it it spends hours getting like seven, I think seven characters ready. And and at the end of that time, you're like, okay, I know who I know what the seven people want, I know why they're living their lives, I know this, I know that, I know what their their interactions are, I know you know, kind of maybe how they would interact in certain situations. Like these characters are all just like, I'm throwing out glib lines, here's a glib line, here's a glib line.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

I mean Mark Wahlberg's character, from what I can tell, his best friend is murdered, right? I mean, it's what it seems like. He knows the wife, they he goes and visits the wife, they're close on some level, and once he's dead, he's just I don't I'm all good. Let's go on to the let's go have some fun. And sure, the ending happens, but doesn't really. It's just it's just weird, it's just very strange, the feelings. I don't know.

unknown 15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

So let's start the movie. Let's do this thing, let's do it. Wait, hold on. Let's talk about cast real quick. How did you feel about Mark?

SPEAKER_02 16:05

You know, the more I think about Mark is he's he's not he's not really ever the problem, but he's not ever really the solution either.

Cabin Betrayal And Zen’s Turn

SPEAKER_00 16:13

I agree with that. I agree he's he's there and he services, and that's and that's fine. My thing is is I I look back at like kiss kiss bang bang, or even the nice guys, and you've got gosling and rdj, and they're just they're so they're so good and effortlessly charming with like that witty dialogue. Yeah, and I always feel like Mark's trying. You know, not in like it's not bad, but I always I just feel like he's doing it, he's putting it on. It's just I don't know. So it's just different.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

But he's he's not he's not charismatic. You know, if you met him in person, you'd be like, oh, I met Mark Wahlberg, he was a guy.

SPEAKER_05 16:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

You know, I mean he might hit you if that helps.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

I'm not like a big Matt Matt Damon guy, but you're like, if you met Matt Damon, you'd be like, wow, you're Matt must be weird to be Matt Damon and 100%. You know, yeah. Probably has he probably has something. Mark Wahlberg, I don't think, has anything to add. You know, if you you're like, I'm okay, you know, we don't need to talk, but you know, if you were like you get to have a dinner with, you know, uh Matt Damon, you're like, I don't I don't really care about Matt Damon, but I'm I'm sure the stories Matt Damon would tell would be interesting.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Do you think real question do you think Matt Damon would get annoyed at how many times I asked about Ben Affleck during that dinner? Over under how many times could I ask a Ben story before he left the table? That's what I need to know.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Does this story include Affleck? Can can we just skip this one? Let's skip the next one. Move on, you know, and that's the the whole thing is you know what? I don't know. You don't want to know. I I don't care what happened on any of the Transformers movies. I you know, I don't care until I watched or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

I do want I can tell you all of them now, Dan. I watched every single one of them.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

So now did four actually was it important to know things from four to watch five?

SPEAKER_00 18:14

I mean four is definitely the bridge between one, two, three, and five, for sure. Because one, two, three, the transformers are all the good guys, and then four, we've gone over the edge, and now humans kind of start hunting the Transformers, and we have the ability to create them now because we have discovered Transformium. Oh my god, it's so dumb.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Wait, we could make Transformers? Why did we make Transformers for the fifth movie?

SPEAKER_00 18:42

No, just the four. I think they realized how dumb it was in the fourth one. Like, we gotta cut that storyline, guys. We can't keep going with the Transformium. Um but yeah, I mean it's it's an important tonal shift, but if you don't care about one through three and you're just there for five, it doesn't matter at all.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

Oh, okay.

unknown 19:00

Good.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

So play dirty. Yeah, play dirty listening. 2025 Amazon release, two hours and six minutes. Um I mean it didn't exactly drag on forever, didn't feel like it was dragging on forever.

Outfit, Tony Shalhoub, And Stakes

SPEAKER_00 19:13

No, it's moving. I mean, they're doing things.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

Yeah, things sort of happen.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

They're always doing stuff. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

So we're in the middle of uh a heist. So we were instantly sort of thrown in with all these characters. We we're in the midst of the heist. Um, it's kind of the same heist in the Sterling Hayden movie. We're gonna find out that it's at the track, and that that movie, I can't think of what it's called right now. Um I think it's a Kubrick movie or something. Uh uh Space Odyssey.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

That's the only one I know. That's not the one. That's all I got.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Uh look up Sterling Hayden racetrack uh movie. Sterling H-A-Y-D-E-N Racetrack movie. Um The Killing. The Killing. Uh The Killing might actually be based on the same uh the work of this guy. So uh that would make a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

There's a list of the books here somewhere, adaptations. I don't know. There's too many now. There's like 11. All right.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

Yeah. So I think it because it's basically the same thing. They're they're they're they're uh they're knocking over the racetrack, and we we go through the racetrack, and we kind of have there's they need a number or something, and they've got the one manager guy there, and they know that he's he's uh trying to impress this one girl, and so they sort of think somebody getting punched, and you're like, okay, you know, somebody can stupid kind of read the situation. And so Mark Wahlberg's character can read the situation, and we're like, oh, okay, he's the smart guy, he gets the number. So we're like, okay, so they unlock the thing and they're like, Don't take the ones in five, take the bigger bills. Wow. Uh yeah, I've taken all ones.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Well, I can I ask you, uh, do they explain that? I'm sure they do align, but why wouldn't you take fives? Fives are great. I use fives all the time.

SPEAKER_02 21:10

Fives because you can only carry so much.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Oh, that's the answer. Just carry it. So I yeah, all right. That's cool.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

You want to just take the 20s because you want the most money.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

You don't most money per carry ratio.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

Okay. So we cut to the outside. Here comes a guy in his car with his wife and his kid, and he sort of he works there and he susses out that that something's going on. So he's like, What I'll do is I'll rob the robbers. So he pulls out a gun, his wife's like, acts like she doesn't know what he does.

Street Shootout And Car-Stealing Bits

SPEAKER_00 21:43

Right. So this is very strange to me. And yeah, I want to be clear that the the conceit of it, where a dad with his wife and kid in the car would go rob robbers, I actually buy that part. The general idea. I buy it. People are stupid. Um, but he has to show me that character would do that. I don't that guy goes in, gets scared, and runs back to the car all scared and frantic, and then he's like, Oh, wait, I'm gonna get a gun, I'm gonna go rob. That's not the kind of guy that would do that. That guy runs away. He hightails it. He's a little, he's a baby. Also, previously, when we see him, his wife is like mocking him. She's like making fun of the job or something. The kid's like, Well, daddy gets perks, and she's like, Yeah, right. Something like that. So this guy isn't the guy that takes charge. I'm gonna, I'm selfish, I'm gonna go rob some people, kind of guy. He's like the weird goofy guy that the wife controls. Those two things don't make sense. So when he pulls the gun, I'm like, what is what is happening? This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Well, and the location of the gun makes it seem like he needs easy access to a gun and he doesn't feel like a gun.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

He's pulling guns all the time, apparently, because it's just like in that right there for.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

He's like, gun. Right. I don't know. I I don't believe this. Um so he goes in there and and kind of just takes like one bag. It's not like he takes like ten bags or something. It's yeah, just one. It feels like he's just taking some of the money. It doesn't feel like he's taking all of their money.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

I because I think they all have bags, don't they? So isn't there five, six bags?

SPEAKER_02 23:27

Yeah. So it feels like he steals one bag and he sort of runs out there, and then we this degenerates into uh we find out that it's at the racetrack. We didn't know that. And he takes off in his car and drives onto the track and is killing horses and horses.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

It seems really on accident, by the way. It seems like he didn't try to drive onto the tracks, it was just happenstance that each thing led to the fact that he had to go on the track. I Dan, when I tell you I don't understand this scene, I can't even I can't even explain how little I understand. So, and people aren't really getting out of the way. I guess he's going fast, I guess, but there's a jockey that just gets run over, but then he's fine, and then the horse runs over him, and then he still stands up, I'm pretty sure, which is incredible. But it's just it's very weird, and people sure they're running, but with all the cell phones in the world, also these races are aren't they televised? I'm sure that they're at least recorded. There's gotta be cameras everywhere to get me and all that. There's so much evidence of these people. I don't understand how how you think this is a good idea. This doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

And Mark chases him. Mark's character, Barker, chases him on foot, onto the thing in front of everyone, murders the guy, and then shoots him square in the head.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Gives the lady, you know, picks up the one bag and gives the lady 20k. And she he's all like, hide this money.

Plot Detours And World-Building Woes

SPEAKER_00 25:13

And you oh wait, yeah, and you're just like why and later somebody else gets to try to explain that and tell you why it's a good idea, which is if she keeps the money, it means she's probably not gonna talk. Here's the thing that's not that much money in 2025. Like, I'm sorry. It's sure, it's great. Like that's it's a lot of money, but it's not my husband just got shot in the head. I'm not gonna say anything a lot of money.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

You know what I mean? It'll maybe pay for his funeral.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

Maybe like the coffin's like eight grand by itself. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

It's gonna get you cheap, but it's gonna get cheaper.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

It's not enough for hush money. I am suing a lot of people, and I'm getting way more money than the 20k. It's uh it's wild.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

And in the midst of all this, we we have one cutaway shot of a dude, gambler, standing in the stands, and he's holding his his tickets, and he just throws them in the air like, oh because it's funny.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

That ruined ruined my day. Another Saturday ruined.

SPEAKER_02 26:29

And then they they just leave. They just leave. They've just drive away. Just this nightmare situation has happened that's gonna draw one million cops from one million directions and and come down on because I think it's in LA, it's gonna come down on your ass, and that's why in this movie The Killing, when they do it, you know, no, you could get away from it.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

They kill a lot. They kill a lot of people, which is an interesting thing because at one point somebody asks Mark Wahlberg if he is a killer, and he's like, By rule, no, but if it's necessary, I'm sorry, that is not your character. You kill anyone and everyone without hesitation, you don't care whatsoever. Yeah, very strange, bad character development. Also, we you didn't really talk about the beginning of this movie, and I'm only gonna bring it up for characterizations, but we open in that room where he's they're interrogating their own person, and the kid, the nephew, he's a nephew, I think, or whatever. He is so scared of Mark Wahlberg's character when he hears the name Parker. Yeah, we never pay that off to the point where I'm like, yeah, people criminals will be scared of this criminal, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 27:51

No, he he brings zero gravitas to this character. And and and it's too quick to to show us that. You know, we we need that elsewhere. We need you know, we need that elsewhere. And and in the books, he is. He is like that. He's he's he's the big man, you know, he's a little bit burping.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Wickian, John Wickian. I so the only one that I've seen is the Mel Gibson one, Ransom. And I haven't seen that in you know 20, 30 years, I don't know. But I remember him, you know, scaring me a little bit. Like he's he's dark, like he's intense and he is out to F people up. I just didn't feel that. You know, I just don't get it. I don't feel no no no no no.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

Um they go back to this this this abandoned cabin, which is where they're hiding out, which once again doesn't that it's not a location there in our world now, but it's not a location that exists outside of LA. A hundred weeks, yeah. Have them go to some weird hotel, motel, whatever. It's just it's it's like a weird back lot thing. You're just like, that's on the back lot. That's not real.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

That's not isolated. I've seen that on the tour.

Train Caper Physics Fail

SPEAKER_02 29:09

That thing's not gonna have a TV, it's not gonna have food, it's not, it's not that's not real. You know, maybe maybe it's like saw or something in the in the mountains or something, but not outside LA. No, it's too weird. Or wherever they are. We have no idea.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

It's too weird.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

So, you know, everybody's arguing about who gets how much money. Oh, this much money. And then the one woman, Zen, she like takes off all of her clothes and is like, I'm taking a nude shower and I'm I'm doing it out here, so everyone has to look at me.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

And then she pulls a gun and just kills everyone uh except Parker who runs away, and then she shoots him and he falls into There's almost a nice moment where she's you know naked um and bending over to get the gun and Parker's watching her, but he's not leering, he's watching because he's like, This is weird behavior, and he's kind of he's kind of on to the fact yeah, and I wish that that was like a a little bit bet done better, but also you know, that's a nice character moment that he's just clocking like this is weird, something's happening, but then he's still kind of taken by surprise. I don't know, I don't know. It's close.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

He should have clocked it and then he should have gone, fuck. And then he's you know, they should have they should have told us that he knows something is fuck, something's wrong, something's fishy. He starts making his move, and and you see that that he's the guy who doesn't usually make these mistakes. Boom.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Exactly, yeah. Also, she's not great, by the way. I don't I'm not a big fan, I don't know who this person is.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

She's pretty terrible.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Yeah, it's a bummer.

SPEAKER_02 30:52

There's like a cut there's a couple scenes that she's okay in, but most of the time, I mean, her her setup is so terrible.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

Yeah, I mean, that's true. You can only do so much.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

So boom, he wakes up, he's in a hotel room, he's all bandaged up. I think he's in New York City.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

Yeah, I'm not even sure to be honest.

SPEAKER_02 31:15

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Well, we cut to New York City, and now we're gonna meet Mr. Lozini played by um Tony. Tony Shaloub. Tony Shaloub once again showing us that he can act in anything and is a great actor. He's wonderful. You know, as long as he doesn't is not having to interact with the stupid plot of this movie, he's great.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's he's a national treasure. I'm a big fan of this guy.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

Were you a monk fan? Oh, yeah, that's a great show.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

I feel yeah, you feel very monk, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

You you you turn that on. I mean, we I I remember watching the first episode when it when it came out, and you were just like, okay, he's this guy, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Oh yeah, yeah, no, he's great.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

He's great. So basically, he's the head of the outfit, which is basically the guys that are sort of in control of a a segment, I think, of the the they're sort of they're sort of a boss.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

Sort of, but not really. I I don't know, Dan.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

And in the books, the outfit is sort of the thing he's always sort of Parker's always sort of coming against. And he's like the one guy who will steal from the outfit.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. The only guy who'll do it.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

So basically, they find out that Parker is involved, and we sort of learn that that Parker made a deal with with Tony Shaloub's character to stay out of New York and stay out of their business, and now he's he's getting in their business.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

SPEAKER_02 32:46

Uh Parker wakes up, he's in a hotel room, and this woman is helping him madge, and he's like, Why am I not in room 12? Why am I not in room 12? Why am I not in room 12? And then as soon as she leaves, he just goes over to room 12, kicks the person out, and breaks through the wall, and then he has money hidden in the wall of room 12.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

He plastered the wall. Like, what are we talking about?

SPEAKER_02 33:14

You know, it's very silly. It makes you think back on No Country for Old Men, you know, where he he takes off the thing, he slides it in there, kind of pushes, you know, and then a whole process occurs with that money being hidden there. This thing is just like, you know, you know what would show his character is if he's hidden money and he busts through the wall and he he needs it within seconds, you know, it's like he's gonna he's wrapped up from a wound, which okay, there go all the stitches, and now he bleeds out.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

It just like bleeds out, he's done, he's dead on the ground.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

You know, it he did not need that money within 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

But I would love that money, so if anyone wants to share, you let me know.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

And then he steals the guy's pants, and then he steals a car.

SPEAKER_00 34:04

Yep, all these things, and then nobody ever cares. Except for the guy who says, Hey, those are my pants. So there you go.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

You can't have a character that's constantly stealing cars. It's like that's not how the world works. You just in the world he lives in, yeah, that's not the world how the world works. You can't steal five cars during a movie and you're gonna get pulled over. I mean, especially now.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Because I can find my car. You know what I mean? Like, it's not, it's easy. I've got a little chip in there. I can just tell them, hey, my car's gone. They're like, no, it's right over here.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

That's great. And then they arrest Parker, and Parker goes to jail, and the movie is over.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Or they say, No, idiot, it was towed to the police compound because you haven't paid your tabs in three years. That's what happened to me.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Oh, I remember that. Good job, good job, Tony. Um now we're gonna talk a little bit about the cast. In the his initial friend that gets killed by, oh, Zen the girl, is played by Thomas Jane, and you're like, oh, we we have someone that we love, Thomas Jane, who's freaking great. And we kill him instantly before he gets to do anything. Okay, he's gone.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Yeah. Well-by-yeah. I guess he always part of me almost wishes that he was playing Parker. I think he could probably do it. You know, ten times better.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Ten times better.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Um, boom. He goes to see Thomas Jane's character's wife, Gretchen Mole, to, you know, sort of say, I'm gonna go kill the woman and and get you some money.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

Yep. And she's like, Okay. Oh, this is so I was telling Dan earlier, just in case I don't use that clip for the beginning. I only wrote one note for this entire movie. And it is this scene. It is this scene, Dan. She opens the door and there's like a bunch of kids running around, and Mark is like, What is happening? And she says, We couldn't have kids of our own. So we built a tree house. What?

SPEAKER_01 36:05

What? So just in your front yard, you built a tree house, and then just random kids come and play in your yard, and you did that because you don't have kids of your own, so you're just stealing other people's kids during the day. What is what are you talking about? Strange kids aren't just gonna come over and climb in your tree house if you don't have kids. That's creepy, that's weird.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

I don't know. So I wrote that down because I was like, this is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Maybe in the 50s, and it's maybe in the 50s, Dan.

SPEAKER_02 36:33

And it's a liability insurance thing. One of those kids can fall out of that kid.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

You're sued to you're sued to oblivion. That kid owns your house. Fucking kid. He's faking it too. I know he is.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

Blank check, baby, my house.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

Oh, that's a good movie. Blank check. Let's watch that again.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

Okay, now we set up Grofield. Grove is his buddy who's gonna come in after Thomas Jane, and he's an actor, and he owns a theater that's in a bar and he pays for it by doing crime. So right.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

Yeah. I like, here's what I'll say. I like the scene between him and the tax guy, or whoever that guy is. It's like, you how can you, you know, you lose money every year. How how can you pay? And he's like, uh stupidity. That's not an answer. But that's a nice little scene.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

Yeah, I mean, it's it's fine, but you know, what I don't know. You he has to have an answer for that, but who knows?

SPEAKER_00 37:35

Um he does not, all right.

SPEAKER_02 37:38

I wrote fancy car next scene, fancy car with Reggie. Reggie. Reggie? Reggie. Who's Reggie? I don't know. And then we have Zen, who's the girl, and then we have the Dictator's elite guard tipped her off. We're being followed up. They get hit by an SUV. Then there's a gun.

SPEAKER_00 38:01

Oh right. So he Mark becomes the driver for Mark.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

So Mark Mark gets in the car with this guy, Reggie, who has information about Zen, the girl he's trying to find.

SPEAKER_00 38:13

I do not remember his name was Reggie. So good on the case. Okay.

Kidnapping The Billionaire

SPEAKER_02 38:18

He is played like a weird 70s pimp.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Yeah, 100%. Very weird.

SPEAKER_02 38:24

You're just like, what is happening? I don't know what this character is. Very weird. And then we find out that Zen, the girl that killed his his crew, is like part of a dictator's elite guard, and she wants to stop. Basically, she's a freedom fighter in some random, yeah, false South uh Central American American country that she is trying to overthrow the dictator. Right. Yep. Already, you know, it's like in commando, you could do this kind of stuff, right?

SPEAKER_00 39:01

Commando's great.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

Commando's great. It's so stupid. You know, the guy has a bunch of leather boys as his guards. Oh, yeah. And all Arnold Schwarzenegger has to do is kill the leather boys and and overthrow the government. You're like, okay, that you know, we we can live in that stupid a world, but this this movie, we can't live in that stupid a world. Um, so it turns out now that the the bad guys are following him in Reggie's car. I guess. And he he he's like, oh, we've been being followed. And I thought that this was a scam to get Reggie to give up the info. But then they get attacked by the I guess the the other freedom fighters, and we have a gun battle and in the middle of the street, in the middle of the street for an hour, and Reggie's driver's been locked in the back, and then Mark opens the back, so he comes out and's firing his gun, blazing, and then he gets killed.

SPEAKER_00 40:02

Here's a question, right? So you're tied up and you're in a trunk. Yeah. Are you gonna make any noise?

SPEAKER_01 40:08

Yeah. Yeah, probably, right?

SPEAKER_00 40:11

The guy sitting two feet away from his driver is like, hey, where's my driver? And Mark's like, he's fine. He's totally fine. Don't worry about it. He's tied up, he's tied up two feet behind the guy. You tell me he didn't make a noise, never hit the trunk, never went. Come on, guys. You every movie ever, when there's someone in the trunk, eventually someone's like, hey, what's that noise? And then it's someone in the trunk. We've seen it a million times. Nobody is ever dead silent in the trunk. That doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

And I've never been in a trunk trying to listen to what's happening up front. I can't have to imagine you can hear if you're literally, you know, eight inches away through some through through some you know, a seat and and a some metal, you're gonna be able to, especially in cars.

SPEAKER_00 40:56

You can hear everything.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

Where there's probably not even metal between you and you and them. It's probably some plastic.

Vault Blowout And Endless Chase

SPEAKER_00 41:03

Yeah, if you I I I would imagine you could probably lean that seat down, goes right into the trunk, just so you get a little extra trunk space. You know, that's what my car does. So it's very silly.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

We have a gun battle, Mark wins, he just then he just walks away and then steals another car. Oh, look, he stealed he stole another car. Okay. No problem.

SPEAKER_00 41:25

Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

Zen is holed up in this building with Bosco. Bosco was one of the people that we saw with Tony Shaloub's character. He's feeding them stuff because she has like another caper that she wants to pull. Parker shows up and she's like, I have this bigger job that's worth so much more money, and this is Bosco. Bosco has the plans. Parker just kills Bosco.

SPEAKER_00 41:54

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

Bosco's not dead. Bosco is somehow still alive. So but so Parker's not even good at killing people. Apparently.

SPEAKER_00 42:02

He shot him like twice, I thought, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 42:05

Good job not kid not knowing your person's dead. I mean, this is Parker. He shouldn't be doing that, right? He's he's not a fuck up. Yep. He should be killing a guy that he's shooting and or know he's dead. From like five feet away, yep. Yeah. So what we're finding out is that her country, they found sunken treasure, and instead of using the sunken treasure to make all the poor people not poor, the evil dictator's gonna just keep your money.

SPEAKER_00 42:37

Right. It's a billion dollars. Who found it? You know what I mean? Did he find it? Finders keepers. That's the rules. There's a bug in here. Find it. There's a bug in the phone. Just land on my face. Those are separate thoughts. Anyhow.

SPEAKER_02 42:56

That's what I go through every day, fighting the flies. The flies get in. Shannon thinks they live in the walls.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

They might. They could, or the pipes, you know. Maybe are they coming up through the pipes? Who knows?

SPEAKER_02 43:07

They could be coming up through the they wait till everything drains down. Then they're like dun dun dun dun dungeon. And then they attack. So then they fly around.

SPEAKER_00 43:15

We've got fucking flies everywhere. You ever seen that? The Winnebago man? You ever see that video?

SPEAKER_02 43:21

I am trying to tell my story, Tony.

SPEAKER_00 43:23

Oh, I'm sorry. You tell your story. I'll be quiet.

SPEAKER_02 43:25

Then you can talk all you want about the Winnebago man. So what happens is the flies fly around, they drive the dog crazy. So we open the wind, the windows are open, then they try to fly out the windows, but there's screens. And so then I I close the window and trap them when they're in between the window pane and the screen. Then I go outside with my squirt bottle that has soap water in it, and I squirt the flies until they're they're like, I'm dying. I'm dying. Then I I run back inside and I fling the window open. Then I I take a Kleenex and I crush them to death. I've had to do that like two times like each day for the last couple of days. Sunday or Sunday has a lot of people. Fly away. Fly away where they're in the house. If I open the back door, the front door, more flies will come in. It's an endless cycle.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

You're right, it's an endless cycle. It's because it's so hot so early, so they're all they're all blooming. That's not the right word. Blooming. What if flies do hatch?

SPEAKER_02 44:30

Yeah, they're little eggs. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:32

Yeah, I don't know. I've seen Jeff Gold bloom in the fly, and that's not how he gets birthed. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 44:38

They land on your shit and then they they put the correct. Um okay, Tony. Tell your Winnebago man story.

SPEAKER_00 44:45

That's it. I was just it's that's there's not a story, it's just a very fun video. They ended up making a documentary about it because it was so good. Uh, but it's very funny. It's called the Winnebago Man. You should see it. It's very good.

unknown 44:57

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

See, I I have everybody I had the whole audience pumped. And then your Winnebago man stories.

The Twist That Isn’t Earned

SPEAKER_00 45:03

Let me set the stage for you. It's like the 70s, I think, maybe, maybe the 80s. I don't really know. But this this guy is trying to do a promotional video for the new Winnebago line that's coming out. And he can't remember any of his lines. And it's just like a blooper cut of him getting madder and madder about him forgetting his own lines.

SPEAKER_01 45:23

I wrote this thing. Why can't I remember it?

SPEAKER_00 45:26

Yeah, it's it's great. It's classic.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

Okay. So anyhow, back to this gem. Tony Chalub's character. He tells Kincaid to go find Bosco because Bosco's missing. Okay, great. Uh, we go to the prop shop where we meet not then we meet the head of the freedom fighters who's a guy that with a beard, and then we've got a big fake version of the okay, so what the sunken treasure is, it's a bunch of gold, the balloons or whatever, but it's also this big uh the big uh masthead statue thing, yeah, that goes on a boat. Put on the front of the boat, and supposedly this is worth half the money. So this thing's half a billion dollars.

SPEAKER_00 46:09

There's like gems in it, right? It maybe it's decorated with gems. I honestly don't know. I uh he shows up later at the end of the movie with gems. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

It's stupid, it's a stupid thing. You're just like it's it's too big, but they're making a fake one because their idea is okay, so the the all the treasure is coming to be exhibited at the UN, I guess. Right. And then and then taken from the UN, and then they make the line, you know, the UN, which is the safest place on the planet.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

Can't be right. No, no, not at all. No way that's true.

SPEAKER_02 46:47

There's no way that the UN is the safest place on the planet. You know, Cheyenne Mountain, where we control all of our missiles, you know, that has a door that's probably a mile thick that comes out.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

No, no, you can act, you can just take that door down with a couple of explosives, it'll fly right up.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

Do the dynamite at it. So stupid. So, what their idea is they're gonna steal the money after the bad guys steal the money, but the the bad guys are gonna steal the money because the evil general like wants them to steal it, I guess. I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 47:22

I don't yeah, so I that's unfortunate because I was a little confused on why he was in on the plan to steal it from himself. I I didn't get that.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

It sure seems like the general can just sell it because it's his.

SPEAKER_00 47:34

Right. That's a hundred and I thought that's what he was gonna do, but then I yeah, I don't know. I don't have a clue.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

Okay, great. Most protected the UN, the most protected building. Yeah. So they're gonna rob the robbers. So so it doesn't even it doesn't even matter that it's the UN. That just doesn't isn't isn't even a thing.

SPEAKER_00 47:53

Yeah. Now let me just say, real quickly, yeah, they this is the second time they use the line, we're gonna rob the robbers. Uh, because that's what the guy, the dad in the car at the beginning said. This one I don't hate. The first one is so out of place and does not work at all. It's so like forced. Oh, I got you. It's such a forced line, but they're doing it just to set up the fact that you know, robbers rob roppers all the time. It's a thing. Whoa, look at this world. And I don't hate it when this guy says it because he's just like, Oh, we're gonna rob the robbers. But the first one, the guy's like, Don't you see? I'm gonna rob the robbers. He wouldn't say that. It's dumb. I hated it. Um, and then that was also part of the trailer. If you're did you watch the trailer? No. The text in the trailer is like, sometimes the robbers get robbed, or something like that. And I was like, Well, that's a stupid line. And then they said it multiple times in the movie, and I was like, Someone is obsessed with this weird line, and it's not even very good.

Music, CGI, And Craft Complaints

SPEAKER_02 48:56

So by killing Bosco, they don't have the plan. So they have to go to Bosco's and get the plan. So they go to Bosco's boyfriend's Asian bar. Um and he they they they we do like this whole bit where she he's like, she's like, we shouldn't tell him that Bosco's dead because he won't help us. And and Parker's like, we can just tell him he won't care.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

Like, what what? What as the guy that's supposed to be able to read people, what are you talking about? Everyone would care. I don't understand. It's you it's his boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 49:39

So he tells him, he freaks out, and then all he was funny.

SPEAKER_00 49:46

If the scene was better, that I think that really would have been funny. Like them trying to control him and keep him like under wraps as he's just losing his mind of grief. I like that scene.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

Yeah, I mean, you go back to the stupid lethal weapon movies, and and that's I'm sorry. Uh no, we're gonna cut that part out, Dan.

SPEAKER_01 50:07

How dare you!

SPEAKER_02 50:09

Murdoch be Murdoch being, you know, kind of a lunatic and you know, loose cannon and Danny Glover, sure. You know, you have like a character dynamic there, right? Yeah, loose cannon, guy looking to retire, and he's just like, why am I going through this?

SPEAKER_00 50:24

Just trying to get through the fucking days.

SPEAKER_02 50:26

I just want to get home to my beautiful wife and my happy family and this idiot's blowing everything up. You know, it's like we have a dynamic this dynamic of the two of them. They're just it's a dynamic that they just decide on in the scene, you know. Oh, what's the dynamic that we can decide on in the scene? It's not character-based.

SPEAKER_00 50:46

Yeah, 100%. Can I just say one thing? Nope. You know how you're like, oh, he's this old guy trying to get through the day, and you know, that's Danny Glove. He was he's supposed to be 40. He's supposed to be 40 years old. That's how old I am. How is that possible? He looks so much older than I do, right? Am I crazy?

SPEAKER_02 51:06

And you're got another 20 years till you can start talking about just trying to get through the day.

SPEAKER_00 51:11

Just just trying to maybe retire someday. I gotta 20 years minimum. Was he really?

SPEAKER_02 51:17

But he was retiring, wasn't he?

SPEAKER_01 51:19

Yes, that's what I'm saying. It doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

Why is he retiring at 40? Don't know. Don't know. Wow. Yeah, it's a different, different world back then in the 80s.

SPEAKER_00 51:30

I so that's how old he actually is, by the way, I think, right? Danny, I think Danny Glover's actually 40 in that one.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

He was playing more like 50.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

I think he's 50. I think because I think they're celebrating the 50th. He had some gray hair in his face. Doing the bath scene, the kids coming with a candle. I think they're celebrating 50, but he is 40 years old. And he I don't know. I don't know how this works.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

I mean, think about like those, you know, it's like he's got a the daughters dating, you know, like the the stuff in that movie is so real, you know. You just you have the oh my god. Like Parker doesn't have anything. Zen has correct this crazy bullshit, you know. I'm gonna with this freedom fighter money, I'm gonna save my country. Like, that's not real. That's not real. That's not real.

What Great Heists Do Right

SPEAKER_00 52:23

Unlike Joshua. What's Joshua? He's from Lethal Weapons. Never mind. I'm getting too deep into Lethal Weapon. I apologize. Okay, so it's just a really great movie, Dan.

SPEAKER_02 52:35

So Kit Kate and the outfit guys show up. Uh they go up, have to go upstairs. There's Mr. Bluey. Um, somebody has a heart. Oh god, oh Jesus Christ, this is so bad.

SPEAKER_00 52:47

Someone's got a what? A heart on? What?

SPEAKER_02 52:50

Bosco's boyfriend has a heart attack. Zen says that she's a doctor. Yeah. Then she tries to save him and sends Parker upstairs to go try to find the plans and is more fixated on saving this guy's life. I'm like, I what is this? What movie is this?

SPEAKER_00 53:14

I have no idea. I don't she I don't think she succeeded either, right? Is he dead? I think he's dead.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

I I don't I don't think we resolved that. I don't think we ever we ever get into it.

SPEAKER_00 53:25

Sometimes we don't know when people are dead. That's how little we care about life in this movie.

SPEAKER_02 53:30

So Mr. Bluey is a series of stuffed blue elephants. Yeah, I yeah, yep.

SPEAKER_00 53:40

They needed to make this something weird. Or like tell us why. Like, is there a joke of why these are things they collect or stick things inside? I didn't I don't know. I don't get it.

SPEAKER_02 53:55

So Kincaid goes upstairs, he fights with Kincaid, and then he he drops him out a window, um, and he doesn't die. Jesus. But then he tells everybody that he's dead for some reason. I don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

He wouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_02 54:09

Why did why did he not care about him dying?

SPEAKER_00 54:12

Parker wouldn't do that. He's methodical, right? Parker would make sure that guy's yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 54:16

I don't well, Parker isn't methodical. Parker's always not killing people, but he says he is. Right? He's always leaving people alive.

SPEAKER_00 54:26

That's 100% correct. I mean, he watched him get off and run away, right? He didn't Yeah, that's why it was and then he just was like, Yeah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about him. Don't worry about that little guy.

SPEAKER_02 54:40

Um we go back to Tony Shaloub. He goes to see Skin Kate in the hospital and talks about how we've gotten soft. It's like, okay, whatever, I don't care. Um so this is the point in the movie where we need to introduce three more characters. We we get Keegan Michaels, Keegan Michael Key, a woman, and a driver guy. The driver guy, uh I'm not I don't even want to talk about him.

SPEAKER_00 55:11

That's fair. Yeah. I mean, he's not bad. I honestly don't even remember his name. Stan. Um that can't be right.

Side Tangents, Flies, And Lethal Weapon

SPEAKER_02 55:20

No, that's his name. His name is Stan. No, that is his name. That is his name. Um that's a stupid thing. You know, you think back on Heat and like, you know, that one character that's the pain in the ass that fucks over their thing because he kills a guy, and they get they get so mad at him for killing that guy.

SPEAKER_00 55:40

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

They get so mad at him. And he just should as they should. And you were like, these are terrible people that are mad at me. And you know, it's like anything that happens in here, we're just like stupid.

SPEAKER_00 55:54

So we lay our I was thinking a lot about the Italian job whilst watching this movie. Do you remember the Italian job? The Mark Wahlberg Italian job? Little cars. I only remember the little cars. It's not a good movie, yeah. It's uh stealing cars, but the team is like full of people that I remember and enjoy. Okay, and this is this is not this is not that team. You know what I'm like? I feel like I remember Thomas Jane more than I remembered the driver, who was in three-fourths of the movie, and Thomas Shane was in six minutes of the movie. Yeah. That's not good, guys. That's not good. Not great.

SPEAKER_02 56:30

Um, okay. We're gonna we're gonna take a detour because we've we've already talked a whole lot and we're not even halfway through this movie.

SPEAKER_00 56:38

And we all we've done is detours, but yeah, let's go. I'm ready.

SPEAKER_02 56:42

The music in this movie is just so terrible.

SPEAKER_00 56:44

What music?

SPEAKER_02 56:45

Is there music? There's music. I don't remember any music. I likened it to a 1970s TV cop show. Well, so in other words, they spent the person that they had do this, it felt like they spent about a week on it. Yeah. About a week. They're like, uh just give us what you got after a week. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 57:06

Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. Just play it.

SPEAKER_02 57:08

It's Amazon Prime. Music's not gonna add anything to the show.

SPEAKER_00 57:12

Nobody will care. We're not selling the soundtrack, it's fine.

SPEAKER_02 57:16

You know, you watch a movie, you know, like Sinners, and you're just like, everything in that movie is thought about, and you know, they weave it all together. This movie, they're just like, well, there's they do a bunch of weird somber, you know, uh the at the end of the day music at the very end, and you're just like, where the fuck did this come from? This is not your wacky shade black lethal weapon.

SPEAKER_00 57:44

Let me see if I can find where that came from. Where who does the music on this thing?

SPEAKER_02 57:48

You know, well, they probably had AI do it. They're just like, AI, build us a soundtrack. AI's like, AI would do better.

SPEAKER_00 57:55

All right, AI crushes it every time. You get so mad at me when I do AI stuff.

SPEAKER_02 58:01

I know. You love AI, and that's the good news is that it's your job composer.

SPEAKER_00 58:06

Alan Silvestry. Sylvestri. He's a real composer. What else have you done, Alan? Real composer. He's very old. He's very old. He maybe he's a slightly senile. Oh, he did the electric state earlier last year. So, you know, he's doing great. He did a better job on that one.

SPEAKER_02 58:28

That one's probably at a I don't I it'd be interesting to listen to our our electric state one and see if I complained about the music on that one.

SPEAKER_00 58:35

Sure. Hey, someone someone else go watch it. I'm not gonna watch one of our episodes.

SPEAKER_03 58:41

Okay, so planning trains. There's a refuge train train as you're putting it on his refuge train train, they're gonna squeeze up the train train, and then the train and train is gonna shut tracks tracks. Like, like, like here I here I am. I'm a Walbert Park character. I I know this physics, what it's gonna take to make a train jump the tracks.

SPEAKER_00 59:01

Why? Why would you know that, Mark? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 59:04

How can he have this information in his head? That's impossible. You cannot know that. He's like, it's gonna go right here, and you see that pile of dirt, it's gonna stop in that pile of dirt.

SPEAKER_00 59:15

I'm like, Well, he's the man with a plan, okay? So he get he knows he gets it.

SPEAKER_02 59:22

Oh god, and then they grab this, then we grab the stuff, including the the the four-ton uh wo wood uh figurehead from the front of the ship. Four tons.

SPEAKER_00 59:35

Yeah, four fucking tons. That's four tons of pick it up. Three tons more than me.

SPEAKER_02 59:40

So so crazy. Uh okay. Parker goes to a hotel. There's okay, okay, we gotta talk about this. Parker goes to a hotel. He gets he gets to the front desk. There's a front desk guy. The front desk guy is like, yeah, and then this other guy butts in and is like I'll take it from here.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:03

Oh, you're back here, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. What did you think about that scene?

Wrap-Up, Recs, And Next Week

SPEAKER_00 1:00:10

I didn't even understand it, because then he was then he says, Oh, someone's it might be in your room, but I'll just move 'em. You can't. What? What are you talking about? You're fired. You're fired immediately, guy. What are you? I don't understand what's going on here.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:25

I think they were coding Parker as gay.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:30

Oh, interesting. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:32

I was like, oh, this is an interesting scene, right? That guy like pushed the other guy out of the way. 100%. Yeah. And he played kind of a thing. And I'm like, sure. And then I'm like, oh, okay, Parker's never gonna fall for any of Zen's bullshit because he he's on the other team. He doesn't care about her. Like, whatever. You can you know, do whatever you want. And he goes up to his room and boom, Zen is in his room.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:00

Yeah. And I wrote, okay. How does that make any sense? How does she make it in the room?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:05

More importantly, what the fuck is that dress? Do you remember the dress, Tony?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:13

No, I don't remember.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:14

Okay, this is what the dress does. The dress is it's like a tight white number. It cuts across her breasts like two th covers like two-thirds of her breasts, and then she's wearing another thing that's sort of like a bra that's white, but seemingly of the same material. It is the weirdest, cheapest, shittiest looking dress I've ever. I'm like, what what are they trying to say? Who who in wardrobe would choose this horrible dress for this poor woman?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:47

You have to remember she's in a a war, okay? She's in a war with her country, she doesn't have any money, all right? So she just has to grab whatever she can off the street or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:58

And she she's an attractive woman, and you're like, she, you know, she she looks like she's dressed like a street walker. And it's so weird. I'm just like, I don't understand. And it's just like sorry, I I had to do that. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:18

Well, well, I don't remember it, but uh, I'm sure she looked great. If you're listening, you looked great. I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:27

Zen does does a story shape her story. Does she talk about her her life or something?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:34

Yeah, she's she talks about her history and then she's like, hey, what's your story? And he's like, Don't have one. I stole, I steal. That's my story. It's a terrible scene. It's it's dumb. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:48

And then two show two dudes show up and beat them. Yeah, because he's uh jealous he is in love with her. Yeah, it's like one of their one of her crew, and they come and and and beat him up and take Parker. Yeah, it's they take him out to the oh this oh god, you just forget about how terrible this movie is. They take Parker out to the middle of nowhere, and then they chain him to a s a standpipe in his underwear because they want him to freeze to death.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:23

Yeah. Why?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:28

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:30

How is that better than just killing him? J because it's slow and painful or something? Or you just get it.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:37

What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:38

Just curious.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:39

Um you know, like in Goodfellas, when you watch Goodfellas, when when somebody has control over somebody, they have control over that person.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:48

What when you gain control over someone, you have to like you have to they have to have some information you want, so you tie them up like this and then beat them, and then they they kick their legs up and kill you. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:00

Lethal weapon. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:02

You can do that, but they don't need any this this dude is jealous of this guy. He has no need for him. 100%. Yeah, he doesn't even he doesn't need to torture him. Why does he care? I don't why why just get rid of him? Yeah. And then and then the bad guy, he see they see a card, he's like, Oh, that's that's that's Tony Shaloub's guys. You you're gonna need my help. This is when you pull your gun around and you shoot him. You're just like, Okay, yeah, I don't want to deal with your bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:28

100%. I don't need I don't need this added pressure, but then he sends his friend to go check, and then it turns out it's the girl. Sort of. Sort of, but then also Tony Shaloub later. Like, I I I don't even understand. I don't know. I don't know. I don't get it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:48

Um okay, so somehow this all sorts itself out. I don't even remember how we how we resolved, but you know, we resolved it and everybody sort of walks away.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:02

She's first and she beat up the other guy, but then the other guy's alive. But then Tony Shaloub's people come and there's a gunfight, and I don't totally remember how it resolves. They just kill the two guys. Oh, they kill the two guys, and then Tony Shaloob calls.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:17

Tony Shalub's on the phone. That's what it is. Yeah. So they kill they kill the outfit guys, and then Tony he talks to Tony Shaloub on the phone. Okay, whatever. Um Grofield comes, and now we we start the we start the caper. So the caper begins. Things go wrong at the routing station where Keegan Michael Key is. There's a whole process. We have her we have his girls, their uniforms don't fit and her boobs are shooting out too. It's like another weird.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:50

Why? Why why there's no reason for that. It's just weird. It's just weird. Uh but I do enjoy the scene once they're inside the station. And he can't figure out how to work the mechanics, that's a fun scene.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:04

Yeah, it's fine. Yeah. Because you actually have comedic actors doing comedic actory things.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:10

A hundred percent. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:11

And then we have this whole thing where Grofield has to do something to this T connector, which would slow down the train. Right. So he does one, and then the train goes by, and then somehow he gets like knocked out or something for like five minutes, and then somehow he steals a motorcycle, and then is is able he steals a motorcycle, gets hit by the truck that Stan is driving.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:38

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:38

And then they're like, I think I hit him. And then is somehow still in position to be ahead of the train. The train that is going 60 miles an hour on a straight shot.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:48

Because we didn't slow it down. We were unable to slow it down on a straight shot. It's so Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:00

So basically, he he fixes the thing. Um and eventually Grofield crashes, and then he runs, then he drops the tool, then he succeeds, and the train's going 60, so it doesn't crash where it's supposed to, so it crashes someplace else where they're all heading to, and then as as they watch it crash, they have to drive keep driving as fast as they can because the train is is which has come off of an overhead rail. It's continuing to roll along. Grofield's on the ground, he has to roll, you know, or not get hit by it, and then eventually it comes to it comes to a uh a slow stop. Yeah. And they killed a ton of people. And no they first of all, train jumps the tracks in New York City, makes an amount of noise that we we can't even comprehend. Tony, when there is a giant noise outside of your apartment, do you look out the window or go outside?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:03

So two nights ago, Dan, we had this is a perfect opportunity for me to tell you. Tell me the story, Tony. Two nights ago, we're watching Hell's Kitchen as we do, and we start hearing this, what we thought was a baby crying. We're like, what is going on? So we turn it down, and it was this, it was a sound something like this. And we're like, what is going on? You had goats outside? I we we I the story ends with me not knowing what was getting killed, but we're pretty sure a coyote was killing an animal. I don't know what it was, it's very sad. Uh, but so what did I do, Dan? What did I do? I opened my door, I went outside, and I started showing my flash right around because I want to know what the sound is.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:44

Hold on. Wait, were you doing with your phone? Were you doing the flashlight on your phone?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:49

I don't have a real flashlight. It's 2026, Dan. I don't have flashlights with double A batteries downstairs. All right. Do you ever have those flashlights you have to wind up and they work on like a charge that you have to wind, wind, wind, wind, and then it works? I remember those.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:03

I'm not pathetic, but I know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

Oh, because you got double A bat, you got one of those big lantern flashlights over there. Is that what you're telling me?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:15

We have a few flashlights around.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:17

Of course you do. You're from a different generation, Dan.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:21

All right. They're all very small, though. Don't have a big mag light that I could beat someone to death with.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:27

You should you should get one just in case. Probably should get one.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:30

Okay, okay, so so you never saw it, but you think it was a coyote eating a eating some other innocent animal.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:36

But the point of the story is I went outside and I investigated because it's a loud noise outside my house, and that's what you do.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:43

One time we had a car come down and hit a bunch of other cars on the street. Like our upstairs neighbor or our cross neighbor, her car got totaled by the car. So I remember it. No. And I must have been somewhere because Shannon told me about it. And, you know, when ever any big noise happens, the entire neighborhood is out on the street. 100%.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:08

We're all looking, we're all trying to figure out, hey, what's going on? What's going on? You know what's going on? Nobody knows what's going on, but we're all out there trying to figure it out together.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:16

Nobody appears. Nobody. This is New York City. You know, you'd have a thousand people.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:23

What the hell?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:25

People are probably just walking around. I've been in New York. There are people everywhere, Dan. They're always there. Not in the New York of this movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:35

Um, okay, okay, okay. Um uh let's see. Garfield rising for the train. They kill a ton of people, okay. A ton of people, they open the container, and all the boxes are filled with rocks.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:50

And then we have another gun battle.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:52

Fooled you.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:53

We have another gun. Who are we having a gun battle with about the train full of rocks? Is it the police? Maybe it's the police. And then they just drive off. I don't know. And then they get a flat tire, and then more police come, and then uh Stan, the driver, pulls up because he'd stolen a police car because he crashed his truck. He says, Hi, it's me. I've done one of the few lines in the movie. He says, Hi, it's me. Let's go. I'm like, okay, that's a good line. Okay, great. Uh yeah. Uh they go to the hideout. I wrote Zen is Zen takes off. Parker, and then now Parker wants to tell his origin story. They go outside, and you want Tony, why don't you you tell the origin story? Because it's pretty, pretty poignant.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:38

Okay. Uh, do you want the cliff notes, the abridged version, or you want the whole thing, baby girl?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:43

Whatever you, whatever, whatever you deem is necessary for.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:47

I'm gonna do a bit of both to get this really across to you guys. So his backstory is he played basketball, loves basketball, really good at it for a three-foot-tall white guy, I'm assuming, just so good at basketball. He had a local court, but then these two bullies were there, and they were like, hey, we're gonna play basketball.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:11

Beat it, you little guy. Forever. And that's it. That's the origin story.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:16

Then he was just a dick to these people. He basically got people arrested because he's bitter about it, and he planted some booze in someone's trunk or something. No, what he did was he he was a real jerk.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:30

He figured out where this kid's girlfriend was and then broke broke his bike, so he got late to his girlfriend's house, and then which made him late to his boss's house, and then he stole the big big big big big thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:40

He used to take the bike, his this girl's bike. He used to take this girl's bike to his bosses, so he broke the bike so the guy was late to his bosses, and then his boss's man and beat him. Broke his leg so he couldn't play basketball anymore, and then he got his court back, and then he got my court back.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:59

Hey, here's an idea.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:01

Go at a different time. Those there's no way those two bullies live at the court. Just go at a different time when they're not there.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:10

You can still play basketball, but those two bullies gonna just play like some real people that are gonna come along, right? It's like the because he said he was eight years old. And it's like there's no eight-year-olds that are in control of a basketball court in New York City. That is absolutely not ever happening. There's always gonna be other people.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:34

Just like adults that want to play a wreck pickup game, you know? Um, so that's his great origin story. Uh he's an idiot.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:43

Uh okay, so he's got an idea. So uh let's see. I wrote he goes to see Kincaid. I wrote fake suicide, and then they throw a henchman. I don't know what happened. Basically, they go to Kincaid's and they're like, Who's the buyer?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:00

They they uh the actor guy, LaKeith, is up at the top and he's acting like he's gonna jump. Then the security guard goes upstairs and they throw him off the roof and kill him, as if that's the suicide, and then they sneak into the apartment where the guy is.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:17

Why did they just knock on the door as police?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:20

That's a great question. Um I I got nothing.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:24

Because that's what they that's what they then do and then have to eventually do. Yeah, 100%. So basically, uh Kincaid loses his mind, and then the he's there with the girlfriend, and then the they say to the girlfriend, who's who's buying the figurehead, and he's like, she's like the richest man in the world, and then she's like Yeah, she just knows all the answers. And here's in here on the social inter media we can see he's eating a snake, and if you just go down to this restaurant, you can go get him.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:54

Yep. Without any problem whatsoever. The richest guy in the city. See, it's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:01

In in a in a caper movie, what you're supposed to do is you when you set up the caper beforehand, you're like, well, we're gonna do this, this, this. Then when you do the caper, it all falls apart, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:11

Of course.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:12

So when they're going down to see this guy, which they have all the infection, it has to fall apart again. But it doesn't. No. They walk in, richest guy in the world sitting there with Mark Cuban, who is Mark Cuban. Mark Cuban's terrible actor.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:31

They walk in and and Parker, why does Parker sh shoot Mark Cuban?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:36

Because the guy, the uh the rich guy is like, you're not gonna use your gun in this place, and then he shoots Mark Cuban to prove that he'll shoot the gun.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:47

And then they leave easily, they go in a van, and they've got the richest man in the world in their van.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:52

And so they're not being followed, I don't think.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:55

No. How could they be followed? You know, no i i no one looked out the window and watched as the richest man in the world was kidnapped. None of the wait staff thought, you know, nobody filmed it. If I help to save the richest man in the world, he'll probably give me some money.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:11

Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:14

Um, so then he lays out what's happening. What it is is that the fingerhead, because they we we we do this magical line where, well, they've already moved all the little stuff within within minutes.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:28

Yeah, yeah, so fast.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:29

So all gone. So instead, this thing is in this place where there's these four vaults, you gotta blow the door, but then it's in this magic cage made of magic that only opens at 8 a.m. tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:46

Uh so they're like, okay, we got this, we got this easy. They fake a hit and run in front of the vault place. The guards just all like, oh, we're guards, we better come out and not do anything. And they get the other guard, oh, they knock him out, and then they um they blow the door, and then and then we cut, so we don't know what's happened. So Lozini finds out that they blew the door, so he goes down there, he goes in there, he looks, the door is blown, the cage is open, there's nothing in there.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:17

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:19

And then they he looks out the door, there they are, they're they're just about to take off in their car. Then we have a 20-minute chase of them in a car with a trailer, where I mean, at one point they get ahead of them and come towards them. Yeah, that's correct. At one point, Parker falls off and they chase him through houses. Then he jumps back onto the trailer, and then he is pulled behind the trailer at one point. Yeah, and then Zed shows up and kills everyone, and then there's a roadblock, and then they tried has to drive up a hill, then the lady falls off, the trailer falls off, and the bad guys are able to get it.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:13

Yeah. Great stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:15

What the fuck? What was this were we supposed to care about anything that happened during this?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:23

Yeah, just like Tony Shaloub's character, we're supposed to be like, wow, this is a good chase. This is real. So there you go.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:34

I mean, why did they just put a bomb on the trailer and then loose the trailer and kill all the bad guys? Right? Wouldn't that have accomplished the same exact thing?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:43

I mean, it certainly would have done stuff quicker. You know what I mean? If you're if you didn't want to hang out too long, you could do that. So you didn't like this scene. Is that what you're is that what you're trying to say to me?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:59

I didn't like this scene. Because you know, you know that the fake one is on the trailer, but then you're you're watching them go to an amount of danger to protect to make it seem like it's the real thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:16

You're just like 100%, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:18

They're like doing ten things that should get them killed, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:22

Yeah, easily. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:24

And I mean, what it should have been was they should have been like with a remote control driving the car and then and then, you know, sent the car over the over a bridge or something. You know, they should we should have done we should have done something that made you know, because we all knew it was fake. Well, we did.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:45

But that's the point is we the audience absolutely knew it was fake because they showed us the fake. And we knew, and you know, like when the when the car pulls out the you know, right at the last second, you know, to let the bad guys know that they're pulling out, we're like, oh, okay, this is a fake out.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:02

And so you have to show But it keeps on going.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:06

Since we know it's fake, you're like, why are they risking life and limb to protect a fake?

SPEAKER_01 1:20:12

They because they want you to get to the point where you're like, it's fake.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:16

It's fake, it's fake? Is this fake? This might be real. That's what they're hoping. That's what they're hoping to do. And how close they want.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:26

You know, on a scale of one to a hundred, what how how many of those percentage points uh did you ever believe it was not?

SPEAKER_00 1:20:33

Did I tick up? I saw I think I started at 10%, and I think I ended at 7%. I think it went the other way.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:41

Oh, I was at zero. Well, I guess because you're I never never moved off of zero.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:50

I was like, is this real?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:52

I think you would have flabbergasted me if it was the real thing. I would have been like, I would have to do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:57

That would have been the reversal.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:59

That would have been the biggest twist ever. That somehow they opened the impossible gate.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:03

You remember Mission Impossible? The first one where he's got the knock list, and he's like, Oh, I didn't give you the real one. I gave you the fake one. But then he really gave them the real one. That's what this twist should have been. That's what it should have been. That would have been amazing.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:17

They should have knocklisted it. They should have you're correct, Tony. They should have knocklisted it.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:23

You gotta, you always gotta knocklist that. That's great.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:26

So God. During all of this.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:33

We're almost through it.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:34

So somehow, during all this, Stan was left behind with the richest man in the world. Stan then somehow accidentally, supposedly accidentally, lets the richest man in the world out. The richest man in the world leaves, does not call the police, does not call anyone to come help him. He just he goes home and then he just wants to go home. He's tired, you know? Tony Shalou shows up with the fake figurehead and demands that he takes it right now, even though we've got to do the deal now, right now. Even though he's like, I won't have the money till tomorrow because the super merger hasn't happened. We're like, what's the super merger? Why does there have to be a super merger that has to happen in the future that we're not that we don't care for?

SPEAKER_01 1:22:24

He's rich. Danny, he's rich, but he's not liquid. Okay, that's what you have to understand.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:30

To get rich, it's not you got cash laying around, you got stuff tied up in things, you know. I got stuff in the stocks, I got stuff in buildings, you know. Your cash is it's tied up in things.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:42

Now, do you really think when you close a merger, the guy just walks out with the big check and listen to you?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:49

We close at 11. He's gonna hand me the thing. I gotta go to the bank. So 11:30, 1145, give or take, depending on the line, I'll have your money.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:59

It's so weird. There's so much stuff like this in this movie. So so he starts he starts caressing it. I think doesn't he start caressing it and then one of the gems yeah?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:10

Yeah, he starts feeling it up. Yeah, he loves this little thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:15

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:17

Well, it is a lady statue.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:19

He should have tried to have said, oh, but was he a gay? Is he supposed to be a homosexual guy? He was, wasn't he? He should have had sex with it.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:31

That's what should have popped the button off, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:34

Boing! Oh, this thing's fake.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:38

Okay, okay. So at 8 a.m. So it's fake out. The 8 a.m. the vault opens, they pack it up, and then Lozini shows up, and then he's he's in charge.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:51

Because the rich guy calls Shalub and is like, hey, this is fake. And Shalub's like, oh, okay. So it turns I know where the real one is.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:00

It turns out that the outfit is out of money. That's but I mean, didn't they just sell all the half of the stuff? This they don't really I mean this is this is more money, but it's like it's not like this is the most important money ever, because they've already made half the money, and then somehow Mark Wahlberg has rigged it to blow.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:20

Yeah, yeah, which you don't really know why or how.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:23

And then the general when the general shows up and then he blows it and it kills all the bad guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:33

And then okay, so here's here's the thing. What's so the whole movie is is actually a replaying of what he did to when he was eight years old. So nothing he never cared about any of the money.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:53

No, never once for a second.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:55

No, all this was about was him taking down the outfit because the outfit told him he couldn't work in New York.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:02

Yeah. He's just really nobody tells me where I walk. Shut up. Shut up, guy. That's stupid.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:10

Tony, is that the character that he's been playing this whole movie?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:14

No, it's not the character because the first job was independent of this.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:20

No, he was robbed, he was robbing the outfit. That was robbing the outfit. The whole idea is he's been doing a series of robberies, and I think this happens in the book Against the outfit. Against the outfit. Because he hates he does hate the outfit. And and I mean, him doing this at the end, just tell us he hates the outfit. Right?

SPEAKER_03 1:25:38

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:39

Like if if if on this first thing he's like, I fucking hate the outfit. And then when he gets his vengeance at the end, we're with him, right? I'm with him. If he's if he's doing that robbery, if he's doing this robbery, he's like, fuck them, fuck them, fuck them, fuck them. And then when he tells the guy, you don't tell me where to walk, fuck you. I like that. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:00

Sure, that's fine. But my what I'm saying is he did that first robbery, yeah, and he was so mad when a guy stole one of the bags of money that he chased him through a horse, he did a baseball slide under a horse's gate, which we didn't talk about, but was dumb. And he shoot him in the head, and he's like, Nobody takes my money that I've stolen from some. Why would he care about the money? If he doesn't care about the money, if he's only doing it to screw the outfit, he doesn't care.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:30

Doesn't care.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:30

He doesn't care at all. Doesn't care. It doesn't make any sense. That's all.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:37

And that and also that's that's that's actually a beautiful thing. If if he's got Zen dead to rights, right? He's like, I'm gonna kill you, and she's all like, You hate I you hate the outfit, right? Well, we're taking down the outfit. And then he's just like, Cool. I'm with you, baby.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:57

Cool, cool, cool. Sign me up. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:01

He either cares about taking down the outfit or he cares about money. Yeah, that's it. He has to care about one of those two things, and it's like the guy if the guy cares about the money, he's not gonna get that stupid broad 20 20k, not a chance.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:17

100%, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:18

Yeah, okay, screw her.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:20

Yeah. Amen. So dumb.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:22

So we have the big ending music, and there's this is when they have the music that's like you know, like the pig, and they're they're driving away and Zen's in the back, and she's all angry. And I'm just like, why why is this not the point at which Parker just puts a gun back there and kills her?

SPEAKER_00 1:27:43

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:43

Right?

SPEAKER_00 1:27:44

That's when he needs to kill her. Just leave her behind. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:48

But instead, Parker goes somewhere and looks at himself in the mirror and then and then leaves. Oh no, he comes back and And then he has a pile of fake, then he pours a pile of fake gems to make everybody happy. He's like, here's a pile of fake gems that But they're real gems in the movie. No, they're they're fake gems.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:13

You think they're just plastic in the movie? And he's like, fuck you guys, I'm out. I wish I hope that is true. There should be a scene, a post-credit scene of some of the people like trying to sell these things. People like these plastic motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:28

Okay. So then he goes back and sits at the childhood basketball court.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:33

Yep. And then two kids walk up and they're like, hey, are you guarding the basketball hoop? He's like, nah, not me. Have fun, kids. What's happening? What's happening? I don't understand what's happening. Why would why would why would they ask him if he could if they could play? He's just sitting there. He's not doing anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:54

What should have happened? This is this is that Dan could sell rewrite. He walks up there, there's a bunch of teen kids playing ball, and there's a couple little kids who are sitting there. He pulls out his gun, he pistol whips the shit.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:07

Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:08

Tony like murders all those kids. He pistol whips all those bitches. Like, bam, bam, bam! And then he picks up the ball and he hands it to the little kids, and he's like, it's all yours.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:18

The court is yours.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:22

Like these bloody kids. That would have been so funny.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:26

So then so funny. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:29

What does he do with the end? He goes to see Zen at the hotel. And there's a raid, and it says the relics were recovered. I don't know how they're recovered because they were all already sold. Yeah, I don't know. She kisses him. Thank you. Uh or or Tease is now the acting president. And then she says to him this great line. We could buy a big house.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:52

What?

SPEAKER_02 1:29:53

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 1:29:54

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:29:55

They have he's not even faked a relationship with the stupid lady. Like, not even for like one second, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:30:01

No, no. They never there's never been any sort of like romantic interest between them ever in this entire movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:10

We could buy a big house. What are you talking about? Big house.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:15

For who?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:16

I don't understand who it's for. And then he's like, you killed my crew. And then somebody says, I pretended to like you.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:28

So that's so she so what she says is I was pretending to like you at first, but then somewhere along the way, you know, I really started to mean it. And then Mark's like, I was always pretending. You people haven't liked each other for one second. I don't know. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:44

Um, and so then he kills her, just kills her with a gun. Like guns are guns are really loud.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:53

They're loud, uh they're scary, and everyone hears it.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:57

When you murder someone in a hotel with a gun.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:00

People know.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:02

People talk. Oh, put the do not disturb sign. Then he goes to see he goes to see Gretchen Maul and gives her a big bag of diamonds. Here's a bag of diamonds. She's like, that's more than I expected.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:14

And what am I gonna do with diamonds? I don't understand. Are they? No.

unknown 1:31:22

No, God no.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:23

Who do I sell? Dan, tell tell let me know. Who do I sell them to? I got a bunch of diamonds over here.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:28

What would you do with diamonds? You'd probably try and I mean, truthfully, you'd probably try and find the you know, find the criminal underworld somehow.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:37

Yeah. Honestly, what I would probably do is I'd go down to Venice Beach, I'd set up one of those tables on the side of the boardwalk there, and I'd just hawk them.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:47

You know you'd get your ass beat if you did that. With diamonds? Nope. Every every square inch down there is is taken.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:55

It's already called for. Shoot. Shoot, man. There goes my plan A.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:00

And then he goes and has New Year's with Grofield. They go and have New Year's.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:05

Yeah, all weird. All weird. We need to talk about when he wishes them a Merry Christmas in the middle of the movie for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:14

So it's a Christmas movie. Because he's like open. You know, it's like every heart became a Christmas movie. Everyone's a movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:22

It's Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, dance, dance, everyone, or is it just Shane Black? He's the only one who seems obsessed with it. Every movie he does is just at Christmas for no reason. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:35

I don't know, Tony. Is your phone making lots of buzzing noises over there?

unknown 1:32:40

What is going on?

SPEAKER_00 1:32:41

It might be. I'm still technically on the clock. Oh, it's 5 13. I'm not on the clock anymore.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:48

You finished work while we were doing the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:50

Yeah, yeah. I did about two hours of work over here. It's good. I'm killing it.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:55

This is like work. Okay. That's uh that's the end. The music was terrible, the tone was terrible. The acting subpart of this this the action scenes were were not good. If you're gonna do action scenes and they're gonna be so bad, just don't do action scenes. That is correct.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:14

Have have people do acting and do things like that. And you got a thriller, you know, it's fine. There's your question. Lethal Weapon. This is a movie that you've seen.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:24

I probably saw when it came out. Maybe saw it a second time. Maybe saw it a second time.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:30

Oh boy, you gotta watch it again.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:32

Are there action scenes in that movie?

SPEAKER_00 1:33:35

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couple. I mean, it's not like are there real car chases? Um there the car chase is actually in the second one, I want to say. Cougarans. Yeah, so I think the second one has car chases. This one has a really great um. So just to if people haven't seen it, tune out. They basically like spoilers on lethal weapon. Yeah. There's like a couple of gunfights, and then at the end, they like go into the bad guys layer, they get like captivated uh captivated. And then um Mel is hanging from the thing and he's getting electrocuted, and then he like Cattle prod, cattle prod, cattle prod breaks the guy's neck with his legs, escapes, and then shoots everybody, and then they escape. And then there's a great fight scene between him and Gary Beusey. Oh, in like in the club in the yard. In the yard, and the sprinklers are going off and they're all wet and their bodies are shining. It's great. It's good it's good stuff. It's good stuff. Think about it. But like action, action to regular movie is definitely skewed regular movie and not action, as opposed to this movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:44

Make a regular movie. That's what people people like regular movies.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:50

Well, we like characters, we like story, we like those two things a lot.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:54

So we like story, we like jokes. You know, it's like all this AI AI garbage. It's like, oh, look at this. It's it's Arnold Schwarzenegger's a predator. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terminator fighting predator. This is the movie I've waited my whole life to see. Sure. Here's three minutes of them throwing punches at each other. And we're done. That's not a movie. That is not gonna defeat Hollywood.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:19

Marvel movies have kind of ruined it for the rest. Because Marvel movies are heavy on the action. A lot of them. They are.

unknown 1:35:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:26

But I mean, heavy on the action.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:29

What's you know, the best part is when you know Captain America picks up Thor's hammer, and we're just like, okay, we got a party going on here. It's a character moment.

SPEAKER_00 1:35:37

Okay, we got we got a party going on here. Okay. Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. Characters are very important. You know who knows that? TBS. Wait, TNT? Which one is characters welcome? I don't know, Tony. There's one of their taglines, right? TBS, characters welcome. I don't know. Maybe that was USA.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:00

Maybe it was USA.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:02

I think it was USA because I think that's Monk. I think Monk and Psych are characters welcome. So I'm way off. I'm gonna add all that out. That was a terrible, terrible job.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:10

Okay. Anything else to say about this uh this classic of the genre?

SPEAKER_00 1:36:15

I'm out. I'm done. We talked way too much about this movie. That is true.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:20

Um, okay. Uh something you liked. What'd you like? Uh Sinners. I've only watched half of it um because I'm scared to watch the second half. It's like I'm I'm invested in all these characters and I know I know shit's gonna go down.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:35

It's a different movie. I'll tell you that.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:37

Yeah, I know shit's gonna go down.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:39

But you just watch it. You gotta watch it, Danny. You gotta watch it. It's great.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:43

Yeah, I'll probably watch it. I might not watch it, but I'd probably watch it.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:46

That's fair. I shouldn't watch what I consider the better half of the movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:51

So yeah, I mean, it's the the first hour of that movie is a 10 out of 10, you know?

SPEAKER_00 1:36:56

Yeah, yeah, beautiful stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:58

It is the direction. I did not know that that was it was played by the same guy that the twins. I did not know they were. Oh wow. I had to look up there because I they they just felt different. They just felt it felt like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:10

Because he can act. He's an actor, Dan.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:13

You know, it's like Delroy Lindo's doing like his best acting. I'm like, I believe everything about this guy. You know, I mean, he does the whole thing where he's like, you know, you want me to come and play for one night, and you know, they're gonna, they're gonna that job's gonna be there for me every night. You know, why why the hell would I come forward?

SPEAKER_00 1:37:31

Why would I do that?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:31

Then what does he do? They they offer they offer him the temptation, the Irish beer. I'm like, it's not money. They offer him something that's more important to him than substance, yeah, yeah. And that's a care that's you have a character moment. You're like, oh well, well, there's a character who explained why he does what he does, and then this these guys are smarter, and they blew him up, and he had to do what they wanted because they knew what he wanted. Wow, characters that want something. What does Parker want? I want to destroy the outfit. Well, okay, just tell us that.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:01

It doesn't have to be. And they didn't just do it. This is there's such a runaround way to do it. There's an easier way to do it, fella. I'm telling you right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:09

We're in a movie. We're gonna be okay with we do not need to be surprised that that this whole thing is a puzzle. Because it wasn't a puzzle.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:16

That entire movie was just a facade. No, I don't need to know that.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:20

And I mean, you can write that movie where it's all, you know, where he really didn't care about the money. The usual suspects. What's that? Oh, yeah, the usual suspects. Yeah, the usual suspects.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:32

The end of the movie, yeah.

unknown 1:38:33

Okay, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:34

Okay. Uh, Tony, do you have anything you like this?

SPEAKER_00 1:38:38

I I sure do, Dan. Um great news for everybody. Pokemon has turned 30. And they released Leaf Green and Fire Red on the Switch finally, which is incredible. And then Pokemon Pocopia came out today slash last night at 9 p.m. And it's amazing. And I'm just living my best life at 40. That's all.

unknown 1:39:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:01

Um, Tony, do you have the Disney Channel?

SPEAKER_00 1:39:05

The Disney Channel or the Disney app?

SPEAKER_02 1:39:07

Disney Plus.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:08

Yeah, I got Disney Plus. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:10

Okay, we're gonna go to Disney Plus for a brand new movie next week.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:14

Brand new movie on Disney Plus.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:16

Brand new movie on Disney Plus.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:18

I'm listening.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:19

Andrew Stanton. You love Andrew Stanton, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 1:39:23

Who's Andrew Stanton? Hold on, let me look at this. John Carter, Warlord of Mars. Hey, we did that. Toy Story 5. Oh, Finding Nemo, Finding Dory. Are we doing some Finding Nemo? Come on. Nope.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:36

We're doing his new movie starring uh Kate McKinnon Kate McKinnon. Hey, I do like her. In the blink of an eye.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:47

Damn, I've never heard of this movie before in my life. This is this just came out?

SPEAKER_02 1:39:50

Just came out.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:52

Are you sure?

unknown 1:39:53

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:53

I've never heard of this before. I know. Did he did he write it or did he Oh yeah, I think he did everything. As you should.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:02

They're calling it a lightweight cloud atlas.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:10

That's not something you want to call your movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:15

I don't think they're calling it that.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:22

I thought that was like maybe that was like their pitch.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:26

It's like nobody liked. What kind of movie do you want to make? Lightweight Cloud Atlas.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:34

I'm looking at it. This looks dumb already, Dan.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:37

I think it's like three timelines. It's like uh the future with Kate McKinnon on a spaceship going somewhere. Uh now times, uh like somebody doing forensic, uh, you know, like uh bones thing and then caveman. Ah, bones, sure. You got you got caveman, bones, the future.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:56

Oh boy, this oh oh god. Okay, let's do this thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:03

Thank you. If you like what you do, give us a subscribe, leave a comment, or um fund our next movie. Um fund it.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:13

I'll do a movie right now. Fund my movie. I got scripts on scripts on scripts. None of them are written, but they're all right here. He's got it all up here. All up here. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:23

Because that's how they do those Marvel movies. They just make them.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:25

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:26

You don't need a script.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:27

You're fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:27

We'll just show up day one and we'll figure it out. Dr. Doom, they're just gonna Dr. Doom's gonna be on the Fantastic Four plane and then they're gonna come to our plane. Captain America's there raising a baby with with the with the lady Captain America. It's gonna be new adventures.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:43

It's gonna be it's gonna be a fucking disaster.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:46

It's gonna be such a disaster. I cannot wait.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:49

I'm like, we were gonna split it into two movies, but then we got the pay robber down junior twice.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:55

And that's a lot to be in their defense. That's gotta be a lot of money.

unknown 1:41:59

A lot of money.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:00

Okay. We'll see you later. Bye-bye. Goodbye, everybody.