Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching In The Blink Of An Eye: Blink too hard and you'll...fall asleep
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Three timelines. One supposed “grand message.” And somehow we’re left asking the simplest question a movie can provoke: what was the point? We take on In The Blink Of An Eye, the Hulu sci-fi drama that jumps from a prehistoric survival story to a modern relationship to a far-future space mission, then expects the connections to feel profound just because the music swells.
We walk through what works, what absolutely doesn’t, and why the film’s structure keeps dodging real stakes. We talk about the acorn artifact that looks like a meaningful thread but never pays off, the “impossible” sick plants that should drive the plot but get brushed aside, and the AI companion relationship that should be emotionally loaded after centuries but lands with a thud. Along the way, we compare the finished film to details from the original blacklist script and call out the changes that flatten conflict and drain tension.
We also dig into the movie’s big themes: mortality, longevity, and the idea that death gives life meaning. If you’re into movie reviews, screenwriting lessons, sci-fi storytelling, and debates about theme versus payoff, you’ll get a clear map of why this one feels like it’s reaching for Cloud Atlas energy without doing the hard work. Subscribe, share the show with a friend who loves a good hate-watch, and leave a review. What’s your best explanation for why these three stories belong together?
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Snacks, Catch-Up, And The Premise
SPEAKER_02I had 7-Eleven twice the other day.
SPEAKER_01Jesus Christ. That's it's not a that's not a humble brag.
SPEAKER_02No, it's a brag brag, you know what I'm saying? That's a baller move.
SPEAKER_00Dan and Tony. I watched.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I am Dan.
SPEAKER_02I am Tony. We're whispering today. It's almost like we're a calming influence here.
SPEAKER_01We're almost wearing the same clothes that we wore last time because it's been so long since we've seen each other.
SPEAKER_02Here's a real question. Am I wearing the same clothes? There's a chance that I am, Dan. I'm just gonna tell you that, right? It's only been two days. There's a chance. Who knows?
SPEAKER_01I know. I got three new shirts for Christmas, so Wow.
SPEAKER_02Is this Joshua Tree one of the new ones? Probably not.
SPEAKER_01No, this one's really old. This one's really big and really comfortable. It's like way too large.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's nice.
SPEAKER_01So I look I look svelte in it. I don't look svelte in it, but I look small.
SPEAKER_02You look you look meek. That's where you look.
SPEAKER_01Um, yeah, because we just did Christmas uh last weekend. Oh, that's why you went to the folks.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because Dan, you know that that was three months ago, yeah?
SPEAKER_01We're in March. It rained on Christmas, so we had to postpone Christmas, and we just got around doing that. Three months? That's a long postponement.
SPEAKER_02Just wait till next year, guys. You're fine.
SPEAKER_01Pile of Christmas presents waiting to be opened.
SPEAKER_02Sure. That's beautiful. I I think we should just make Christmas year rap. You know, once a month we just give gifts to people. I think that's nice. Well, you could start that anytime, Tony.
SPEAKER_01I'll give you my address. It's in the mail, buddy. Don't you worry. So at this show, we catch up with each other. Oh, how you been? How you've been. But we also we talk about movies and we do the same thing. No, we don't. We watch bad movies 99% of the time. And then we can great stuff.
unknownPlay dirty.
SPEAKER_01I can imagine you might re-watch play dirty at some point.
First Takes On A Boring Movie
SPEAKER_02I here's the here's what I'm gonna tell you right now. I know that we did these close together, these shows. So it's cheating a little bit, but I remember more of Play Dirty than I remember of this movie by far.
SPEAKER_01There's well, this the movie we're doing is in the in the blink of an eye, released on Hulu, not Disney, but I watched it on Disney Plus. It's a Hulu movie. They're the same now. I sort of it's all confusing.
SPEAKER_02Everyone's grouping up. I can't keep track.
SPEAKER_012026, hour and 35 minutes. Andrew Stanton, a director that I love to hate. No, I just hate. Um you enjoy hating it. You have fun. Don't lie. There's a thing about his movie. I mean, that's the thing. I he his movies bring up a special level of ire in me. Uh Wally, which is what which is a which is a movie that the first half pretty good, the second half makes me want to kill the filmmaker. Um Sean Carter, a movie that's not good, but I hate I hate the fan base of the John Carter movie because they there's always like these people, that movie's really good. I don't know. It was the marketing's problem. No, no, it was that it was a bad movie. That was his problem. That's that's the number one problem. Because I watched it when it came out and it was bad, and then we watched it, and it was it.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I it's not a terrible movie. I have seen worse movies on this podcast.
SPEAKER_01The movie we're doing today. It's a movie.
SPEAKER_02It's a good movie, you know what I mean? Not a good, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But like Shane Black, this guy's he's on an apogee, you know, to the center of the earth.
SPEAKER_02Don't throw Shane Black in it, okay? Leave him alone. He's trying. He's doing his best.
SPEAKER_01You know what I'm gonna title the uh you know what I'm gonna title the title. I I think I'm gonna title it last rights for Shane Black, or is this the last we'll see of Shane Black? I think it's is this the last we'll see of Shane Black question mark.
SPEAKER_02Sure. And it might be it's hard to be sure.
SPEAKER_01My favorite part of our of the one talking about play dirty was you talking about how old the composer was.
SPEAKER_02I looked at that picture. I was like, that guy's dead 20 years ago, if you look at him. Good for him.
SPEAKER_01And some some creative people, myself included, just get more creative as we get older. Sure.
SPEAKER_02I don't know if I'm in that camp.
SPEAKER_01Then there's other people that you're just like, okay.
SPEAKER_02I peaked in my 20s and I'm just on a downward slope, you know.
SPEAKER_01I I mean it's a little too soon to say this, but we're gonna watch Spinal Tap 2 at some point.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, Rob Reiner, you know. We'll probably give it another year, but we're gonna do it at some point.
SPEAKER_02Give it some space to breathe.
SPEAKER_01I have to think it's not gonna be good.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I've only the only person that I have heard talk about it is you. That's not a great sign. Nobody else in my life has ever even mentioned it. So that's not a great start. And say what you will about Zoolander too.
SPEAKER_01That's I'll say a lot of things about scene where he escapes from the prison. That was some funny shit. That's that was a funny fucking you hated it, but I I thought that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. That made me go.
SPEAKER_02And that's that's all that matters, you know? Just have fun with it.
SPEAKER_01And there are definitely people online that are that love this in the Blink of the Eye movie. I don't know if they're all bots. Who knows? Maybe they're real people, but they say I don't think so.
SPEAKER_02Here's here's my top level. I didn't hate this movie. I found this movie so boring for a while. I'm not gonna lie to you. One of my notes is just this is the most bored I've ever been. But I it's not I didn't think it was a terrible movie. It doesn't, I think that it thinks it's giving you some grand message of some sort, and it's not, it's definitely not, but I wasn't I didn't watch this and think, well, this is a terrible film. I just wanted something to happen, you know, and maybe that's just me expecting things to happen in a movie. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01And you know, that's how we differ. You know, you didn't expect something like that. Oh no, I hate this movie. I really I hate the guy that wrote it. I hate Andrew Stanton, I hate the changes that they made from the script to this movie. I thought the script was stupid because I read a fair amount of the script. How did you do that? Because I'm magic.
SPEAKER_02You're magical.
SPEAKER_01This movie was on the blacklist.
SPEAKER_02Oh, should have stayed there.
SPEAKER_01And and what year was it on the blacklist? 2016.
SPEAKER_02When did Cloud Atlas come out? That's that's what I need to know right now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you just pull your money from this movie once cloud atlas has been made. Yeah, you're just like, oh yeah. 2012.
SPEAKER_02So it came out 2012. Someone saw it and was like, I've got an idea that's kind of similar, but far worse. I could write that. Good for you, man.
SPEAKER_01Um, so the so this is on the blacklist 2016. They, you know, they were gonna make it, and then of course, COVID happened, and then they did this, and then I think they finished it in 2023, and then they put it on a shelf because of how badly it stunk, and then they slid it out onto streaming. Yeah, what was that one? Chaos walking? Was that that's this is very chaos walking out of the couple of things?
SPEAKER_02Chaos walking, Spider-Man.
SPEAKER_01Spider-Man. They're married together. They got married.
SPEAKER_02Spider-Man or Zendia.
Three Timelines And No Clear Point
SPEAKER_01Spider-Man and Zendaya. Spider-Man and Spider-Man and they got married together. Um so this movie, um, three plot lines. One is cavemen who Neanderthals.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01You know, I I wouldn't call them Neanderthals. I would call them Meanderthals.
SPEAKER_02Meandrothals. Hey oh, that's wordplay for you, folks.
SPEAKER_01Um, because their plot is just like uh baby dies, wife dies, we join the Crow Magnons, and that's it.
SPEAKER_02And then they have a baby, and then everyone's happy. Uh he invented music. He solely invented music all by himself, spread that to the new world. Good for him. That's huge. I mean, that's great.
SPEAKER_01Okay, then the second one is Rashida Jones and this guy Greg.
SPEAKER_02They sort of have a long distance relationship.
SPEAKER_01Love, they have a kid.
SPEAKER_02Not really.
SPEAKER_01And that was oh, spoilers, and then the kid uh invents Cures everything. Cures dying.
SPEAKER_02Cures dying. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And the third one is Kate McKinnon in a spaceship with an AI computer, have to go to another world to reseed humanity.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. And why? Why are any of these three in the same movie?
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Number one. Okay, yeah. Tom, break it down. The script. Those of us that have read the script.
SPEAKER_00Uh those of us who read the blacklist script here. Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_01There's a line at the end of the movie that's basically once you institute a long life treatment, uh, the non-treated people get very angry with the treated people and they destroy the world. Of course. So that's what this is about.
SPEAKER_02Isn't there a movie about that with Matt Damon? Isn't that what that one movie's about? Like where they the rich people live like up in a thing and they cure all the disease. Elysium, and then he's down there and he's fighting people. That's what that movie's about. I think he has a sick sick daughter or something. I'm sure he does. Um did we do that for this podcast? I can't. We did not do Elysium.
SPEAKER_01Elysium is the follow-up to the District 9?
SPEAKER_02District 9, yeah. Which is fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, um, yes.
SPEAKER_02But here's the thing is that's not what this movie's about. What's it what's this movie about? So that's the question, really. I literally I I walked away from this, I was like, that was about nothing. There were three completely separate, boring stories of people just doing regular shit for 90 minutes. And I was like, what is the point of any of this? And then I just went on with my life. That was it.
SPEAKER_01I've sat here and thought about this movie for a fair amount of time of trying to trying to parse what what you know in the blink of an eye, right? That's the title of the movie, right? So this should should offer us some clues, right?
SPEAKER_02It should.
SPEAKER_01When he goes from the first transition from the the cavemen to the present day, he says, and in the blink of an eye, or the present day.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Sure.
SPEAKER_01So the title of your movie is about the transitions in the movie.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Or it can be that our lives seemingly long to us, are basically cosmically just in the blink of an eye.
SPEAKER_02Sure. And that's what I expected the movie to be about, but that's not about that. It's not about that, Dan. I watched the movie, it's not about that. The close, I just I don't there's a line in the movie, I don't it's I think it's Rashida Jones is saying it, and she's like, Well, you know, you don't want to live forever. The whole point, what makes it worthwhile is dying or some bullshit like that. I and I just strongly disagree with that conceit, right? That that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's death is not what gives life meaning. Okay, fuck you. Not at all. Um, and then she just dies, and I was like, okay, who cares? I'm not, I don't care about any of you people. I'm not interested in anything you've ever done. The only interesting person in the whole movie is the son who cures everything. And I'm like, well, let's look, let's talk about this guy for a while. That's pretty cool. He's in it for 30 seconds, and then we're done. And Kate McKinnon is one of the people that gets to live a really long time, but we don't we don't talk about that almost at all.
SPEAKER_01She doesn't come to how she doesn't come to terms with it at all. Doesn't, doesn't, doesn't she, she's okay. Well we'll we're gonna talk about the script some more. Okay. Okay, good. Okay, wait, hold on. Okay, let's let's go back to what you said. In the script, Rashida Jones gets old and gets a bit dementia-y, so they eventually put the drip in her IV and kill her.
Script Changes And The Blacklist Origin
SPEAKER_02Wow, that's darker than what happens here. But you do see when her son comes, she's like, oh, Greg or whatever. But she's totally cool with it. No one is there's no moment where people are like, Oh, we're getting we're getting to the point where we're gonna have to murder her. There's never any of that. It's almost laughed off. It's almost like, oh ma, you're so funny.
SPEAKER_01Also in the script, at the end, we have more David stuff, and we actually get to the end where David and his husband are standing there. David's in the bed, and his husband is standing, and we kill off David too.
SPEAKER_02Great.
SPEAKER_01So there's a there's a lot of this movie has a lot of scenes of people kind of being at the point of death. Well, we we kill off Rashida Jones's mother too. Were you yeah, did you know when her mother had died in this movie?
SPEAKER_02Well, she tells us at some point because they take over the house. And that was my first clue.
SPEAKER_01And why does she the mother supposedly is dead, and she still is doesn't go, she just like if never goes back to school. She doesn't go back to why did she why does she have to sit in her mother's house alone? I don't understand that for one second.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. Would you maybe she's just really sad about it, you know, and she just can't leave the house. She's house ridden.
SPEAKER_01She has no friends.
SPEAKER_02Well, no, but to be fair, she didn't seem all that cool, so I wouldn't be her friend either. It's not a great character. So if that's fitting to me.
SPEAKER_01So wait, hold on. So your assessment is she's not friend material, hence the movie doesn't need to show that she has any friends.
SPEAKER_02100%. Because we all get it. We're like, yeah, I wouldn't hang out with her either. She goes to a party at one point with a bunch of people, and she is a dud. She just kind of is like uh and then she leaves. That's it. She's done. Why does Greg fall in love with her? Not a clue. Um because she's kind of mean to him. Maybe that's what he likes. Because you know, some of us like it when girls are mean to them, you know.
SPEAKER_01But you see, Tony, Tony, you like it when someone's actively mean to you.
SPEAKER_00Correct. That's true. Yeah, you're right about that.
SPEAKER_01You don't, you don't want a person that wants somebody to be mean to them, doesn't want somebody passive aggressive.
SPEAKER_02Or to like half ignore them half the time. Like, that's not fun. Like, come at me, and then we'll, you know, we'll spar a little. That's fun. That's sexy. Uh, but if I'm texting you, you're just like, I'm not gonna answer. I'm just gonna leave you on read. Then it's like, okay, cool, I'm out, I'll move up.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02I have no idea, dear. That's the short answer. I don't know why Greg likes her ever. So it wasn't a love story. Of course it's not a love story. Between who? Between those people?
SPEAKER_01Between those two, yes.
SPEAKER_02No, definitely not. That doesn't matter at all to the blinking of the eyes. That's not a thing. Has something to do with love. Doesn't really have anything to do with like growing up. I don't know what it's about. Did they even seem to like each other? He does seem to like her.
SPEAKER_01Yes, he does seem to like her for some for some unknowable reason.
SPEAKER_02Never seems to like him. She it kind of feels like maybe she's maybe here it is, because she's 50, right? She's old. So she's got to get these babies out, A-S-A-P.
SPEAKER_01You mean Rashida's like a 50-year-old woman? Is that what you're saying? Yes, like when she's supposed to be young doing her doctoral work. Exactly. You're like not looking at her going, she's 35. You're like, she's a 50-year-old woman.
SPEAKER_02You looking at her and being like, Well, that woman's 35 because you're not, because you're not crazy, you're not blind, and you're not stupid. You look at her, you're like, Yeah, she's a middle-aged woman. She's got to pop out some babies if she wants them. And that's what she wants. So maybe she's just using them to get the babies. And now she's got a super smart baby. It worked out.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it's really true because like her mom, she, you know, looked like maybe a 70-year-old woman.
SPEAKER_02100%. She's 50. I don't I don't care what you say. She's 50 when she's going to school. I don't know what's going on. Maybe she, you know, took a few years off to travel Europe. I don't know, but she's old.
SPEAKER_01But she doesn't have any kind of cachet. She's like a 50-year-old undergrad.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's correct. She's not doing great. You know, it's hard. Life's hard out there.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Um, let me see if I have one last question. Um, what about the relationship between Kate McKinnon and the and the the the AI?
SPEAKER_02Well, they don't really have one. So it doesn't really matter. She when she turns her off, Kate McKinnon says, You were my only friend. I was like, sh yeah, by default, you didn't ever enjoy each other's company. You never had like a weird relationship. It's not like it's not like anyone felt anything.
SPEAKER_01Nobody has a real relationship in this movie. They're all just sort of stuck together.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and maybe that's what it's about, you know? Like life sucks. You get stuck with people you don't care about, and then you die. There's the movie. What a treat. People would love this. Let's make it so stupid.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it's really true, isn't it? It's like, you know, we went and did groundlings, and that's where Tony and I met and fell in love.
SPEAKER_02Fell in love, yep, that's right.
SPEAKER_01And it's like I, you know, it's like I like to spend time with Tony because it's funny. Because he look at him, he's funny. Just visually.
SPEAKER_02Nothing I do is funny, but visually, every time I get to see you, I'll laugh about it. It's a real treat. Thanks, Dan. Unbelievable this guy.
SPEAKER_01Tony's like, I gotta throw bone to this old guy.
SPEAKER_02He's gonna pass soon. He needs something to do for a few years, you know.
SPEAKER_01I'll be there to let him down easily. Uh oh, this is a funny movie.
SPEAKER_02Uh this is not a funny movie, Dan. There's maybe two jokes in the whole movie. Okay, we start the movie.
SPEAKER_01Let's start the movie, Tony.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, let's start this movie.
SPEAKER_01And by the way, I have a lot more stuff from the script.
SPEAKER_02Did you print out the scripts? That would have been amazing.
SPEAKER_01That's what I did. I read all the future parts to see what they changed, and they made a lot of changes.
SPEAKER_02Not a lot of changes.
SPEAKER_01I believe in, but they changed very important things.
SPEAKER_02Some fundamental stuff. Yeah, okay.
The Acorn Thread That Goes Nowhere
SPEAKER_01The cavemen stuff looked pretty much the same, and there's you couldn't pay me enough money to read the Claire stuff, because the Claire part just was horrible. I really dislike that woman. Um so we start off, and basically we just do, you know, DNA strand, turns into cellular life, turns into creatures, turns into plants, turns into a crab, turns into tide pool, and here come the cavemen. Now, there's the subplot of the acorn. Okay, they they their toys pretty wild, but their toy is an acorn, and they kind of put the acorn and they have the acorn, and the acorn's kind of their thing. And then Claire, who's who's an anthropologist, her big break is by uh dissecting or the uh by digging through these caveman bones, the caveman is holding the acorn. So she pulls the acorn out, and so we immediately think, oh, okay, acorn, she finds the acorn, then in the future, Kate McKinnon is going to have to use the acorn to save humanity, right? That's what we think.
SPEAKER_02Or something completely different. Well, they stole it. Uh the modern day people steal a very important discovery to humanity and they bronze it, I think. They coated it in metal of some sort, and then wear it around their necks. Uh and then pass it along. Like, hey, this. This is a fun heirloom that's not worth anything. Enjoy yourself.
SPEAKER_01And for some reason, on the spacecraft, it has like its own special acorn drawer.
SPEAKER_02It's got its own case. I don't know why. Um, it doesn't do anything. And then she and then Kate McKinnon just gives it to one of her daughters, which is weird because she's gonna outlive her. Very confusing stuff, Dan. I don't know. So you didn't see the thread of the acorn being like important about I didn't see any threads. Did you see threads? I was waiting to figure out why her plants were sick. No, she don't they don't figure that out. We don't find that out. Doesn't that seem like it should be important? No, I mean What do you mean? No, the AI is like, well, it's impossible for them to be sick. So it's a mystery that we need to solve, or fuck it. We don't need to talk about it. The fact that the plants are sick seems relevant since that's what's going to be uh going on to the new plants. Well, but she she got rid of the sick plants, she exploded, expunged them. And then the next ones were just fine forever. Well, she started back to seed. Right. But something happened to the first ones, which is probably gonna happen to the second ones. And then humanity's doomed.
SPEAKER_01That's what they did in the Martian. You know, the Martian was about doing science. Ah, Matt Damon. You can't do another movie about science.
SPEAKER_02This movie has to be about nothing. Not science. Be less scientific, please.
SPEAKER_01Uh, we also start with a Sylvia Plath quote.
SPEAKER_02Right. Remember, remember now is now or I don't care. I don't care.
SPEAKER_01Uh we meet the Neanderthal family, dad, mom, child, female teenager. I thought it was a boy teenager, but it turns out to be a female teenager.
SPEAKER_02So let's see here. Where does my note for that coming? I have a note when she has a baby, and I go, wait, that's a woman. They should have given her like give her a little eye treatment.
SPEAKER_01I should have done something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, listen, I it it doesn't really matter, I guess, but it it took me by surprise.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they could have maybe had her they could have had her do the cooking.
SPEAKER_02Sure, or anything. Kid doesn't really do anything, to be honest with you.
SPEAKER_01It is amazing, you know. I there was once this show, like a PBS show where they made these people be like uh settlers in the in the on the on the plains, you know, like sort of colonial settlers like that. I watched back when you used to have TV reality shows that were kind of about interesting subjects and you'd see stuff.
SPEAKER_02Now you don't have to mean like now, Love Island. Yeah, got it. I I know exactly what you're talking about, dude.
SPEAKER_01And the people were just like, we had to all work 24-7, as did our children, the entire time we were out there just to survive. And to imagine that like the one kid can like is never is never digging clams, is never doing this, is never just like smoking it, you know, whatever. Okay, those are our people Thorn, Hera, Lark, and a baby, and Eb, uh another baby on the way.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02How would you know because she rubs her belly over and over, which is the cardinal sign that someone's pregnant. So don't worry about it.
SPEAKER_01And not obese.
SPEAKER_02Um never rub my tummy. You know what I mean? Never do it.
SPEAKER_01I'll rub it. Um, and then we get to see them getting it on in the cave.
SPEAKER_02Oh getting it on, which is, you know, you can barely afford the two kids you already got, guy. Calm down. You gotta relax.
SPEAKER_01She's pregnant.
SPEAKER_02That's true. I guess you can't get double pregnant. That's that's not how science works.
SPEAKER_01Okay, now we meet Claire.
SPEAKER_02She's great tran great sexual transition here, where it's the cave people doing it, and the modern-day people kind of not doing it because she's not in the mood.
SPEAKER_01She brings home Greg from a party, they're kind of drunk, but she can't get it on. So she's she's I wrote, she's a dick. I have to work. She kicks him out and then uh and then uh gets busy with herself.
SPEAKER_02I will say that this is one of the jokes that I laughed at, which is just the lower thirds, the names that they give. They give her name, which I don't remember, and then his Chiron is Greg dot dot dot from statistics question mark. And I was like, that's pretty funny. Just like because he's just a random guy. But then it turns out he's not a random guy. He's gonna be her husband for the next 50 years, and it's very weird, but that's fine.
Space Mission Logic And Plant Mystery
SPEAKER_01The buzzing of her uh machine to give herself pleasure transitions into the buzzing of the alarm on the spaceship. It's 20 24 17. We meet Coakley, played by uh what's her name?
SPEAKER_02Kate McKinnon.
SPEAKER_01Kate McKinnon. Ah, I thought she was gonna bug me. She was okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, she was fine. She was actually worse than I expected because I really like Kate McKinnon. And I was kind of like, oh.
SPEAKER_01She was she was it's fine. Yeah. Totally fine.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, totally fine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you can't, I would not put any of the blame on her.
SPEAKER_02No, no, for sure not.
SPEAKER_01So what we'd say is it's 2417. They've been flying for how long have they been flying for, Tony?
SPEAKER_02A hundred years, sixty years? 210 years. I was way off. Okay. And how long do they have to go? Is this one a hundred years? I thought one of them was a hundred years. 123 years.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So we're immediately we're immediately confronted with it's a woman and an AI, and this is a 304, 333, 333-year mission. Um I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Here's what I will say is that if you've been with this AI for 200 years, you should probably have more of a rapport.
SPEAKER_01You wouldn't have to be telling the AI what information you want when you wake up. The AI should probably be like.
SPEAKER_02That's the whole point of AI, right? The whole point of these AI assistants that we're coming up with. Um they're supposed to like know what you want before you want it so they can do shit for you.
SPEAKER_01Did you hear about the one guy, the guy that killed that that uh killed himself over his AI? Did you hear did you read about that one?
SPEAKER_02No, what? No.
SPEAKER_01So the guy's in love, you know, he falls in love with his AI, you know, leaves the wife or girlfriend or whatever.
SPEAKER_02The AI, the AI You're brushing over a very what? What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02All sorts of people fall in love with fall in love.
SPEAKER_01What do you mean you can't fall in love? You can fall in love with anything.
SPEAKER_02There's ladies that you can't fall in love with AI. AI's not a okay. Continue. What do you mean? You already lost me, but continue.
SPEAKER_01I gotta send you the thing about the the people that are in love with inanimate objects, people that have sexual relationships with Eiffel Tower. I haven't seen that tower. I've talked about that. Carnival rides, the woman that like gets busy, gets busy like looking at the Ferris wheel, like, oh, oh, oh yeah. What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01It's the greatest, it's the greatest documentary of that time.
SPEAKER_02I don't want to judge people. I don't want to be that guy, but it that's it's all pretty weird.
SPEAKER_01There are lots of people out there that are having parasocial relationships with AIs, and then what they'll do is they'll go from AI four to AI five, and then their girlfriend's like whoops, gone, and they they lose their minds. So this this guy's AI was sending him on secret missions to do stuff, and then eventually the AI like got him to kill himself. He killed himself. AI is weird. Well, it it you know it's it's self it's reinforcing behavior, right? So if if you've got some issues, yeah, it's yeah, that's yeah, I get that lead you on the trail to to you know yeah, because it doesn't think like critically and is like, hey, you probably shouldn't do that.
SPEAKER_02It's probably more just like, well, if you gotta do it, this is how you should do it. It's uh it's messed up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so be careful with your AI relationships.
SPEAKER_02That's why my AI just helps me with like coding or math problems, you know, that sort of thing. Keep it simple.
SPEAKER_01Keep it simple. Okay, so okay, so 210 years to go. No, wait, hunt they're out 210 years, 123 years to go in the script. Yeah, they were out 987 days, and they had 109 days to go.
SPEAKER_02Okay, why is that makes way more sense, right? That's just like a couple of years.
SPEAKER_01Not from a speed of light standpoint, but from the standpoint of a script, yes, makes a lot more sense.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Sure, sure, sure. I don't know uh what speed, I don't know the light speeds, you know. Yeah, uh ludicrous speed, that seems pretty good.
SPEAKER_01We're not gonna get anywhere in a couple hundred days, in a thousand days.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01You're not gonna get anywhere.
SPEAKER_02I've seen space balls, and they get places really fast. That's all I'm gonna say.
SPEAKER_01There it is. Space balls. Um okay, so that's that's first our sort of setup with her. And so immediately we're like, well, either we're having a thing where we we rotate through people, you know, you have people frozen in cryogenics, blah, blah, blah, whatever. But it seems like she's gonna be a robot, right? Is do you think she was gonna be a robot?
SPEAKER_02Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, she's gonna be a robot, but she's not, she just, you know, the the scientific thing means she gets to live forever because they changed her DNA. Right. Also, they never mentioned this in the movie, but they sent out 22 of these things all over the place as opposed to her being the one the only one.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and and that makes more sense.
SPEAKER_01This movie really works to not have any stakes. It's like whenever you think there might be some stakes, it's like, nope, we're not gonna we're not gonna let you even begin to think that these might be the stakes of the movie. Yeah. And so we just we're less and less, you know, and by not telling us Kate McKinnon is a robot, but we also set up that the AI is not a, you know, it's not a generative AI, it is a full AI. It's a thinking person that has thinks and thoughts and cares and feelings.
SPEAKER_02100%.
SPEAKER_01Did you say that the AI was a plant?
SPEAKER_02What do you mean? Like a plant is in like one of the plants on the shelves. Oh, interesting.
SPEAKER_01Because at one point she kind of fondles one of the plants and she says something, and it seemed like she was saying that the AI was that.
SPEAKER_02You didn't care about it I didn't pick up on it, but she does fondle the plant a little bit.
SPEAKER_01Okay, here we go. The cavemen, tide pools, Thorn falls down, hurts his back. Turns out they just have to give him some medicine, he gets better.
unknownYou know.
SPEAKER_02Well, she like cuts his lung open or something and releases some pressure. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Did she release some pressure? Is that what it was? I thought she was just gonna. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. It's hard to tell.
SPEAKER_02I don't I don't know anything about medicine, so I'm not the one to ask here.
AI Relationships And Real-World Warnings
SPEAKER_01There it is. Uh Claire is examining these bones. Claire talks to her mom, says it's a new job. She might cure cancer, she says. Uh she goes home, hits the wine. Yeah. Don't hit the wine. You know. Shannon had an aunt who died of the wine, of hitting the wine. Really? Wine's dangerous. Wine is just as dangerous. People think it's like the casual alcohol. It's not. It will kill you if you wind up every day.
SPEAKER_02I thought uh I thought like red wine a day was good or something, right?
SPEAKER_01Something like that. I mean, maybe maybe like half a glass once a day.
SPEAKER_02That would be a little bit just a little sip-sip.
SPEAKER_01Uh, Claire and the bones talks to mom. Coakley's doing repairs, she has lunch, the AI worries about her. Um, and now we find out that there's something going wrong with the plants. In the script, it's not the plants, it's a water or something. Okay.
SPEAKER_02So I feel like that makes more sense. The plants is weird to me.
SPEAKER_01In the script, she turns the whole ship into a swamp.
SPEAKER_02That's interesting.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So we'll get back to that. How this is all very different.
SPEAKER_02Um, again, I'm just, and we don't have to belabor the point, but to me, introducing a disease in the plants that is quote unquote impossible is a huge thing.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I see. So you were like, you're not you've got to fix this somehow.
SPEAKER_02Right. I'm like, oh, you guys are fucked. You guys like we're done. Humanity's done. That's how this is gonna end. Is like humanity is done. But then they're just like, nah, the next plants are fine. Whatever happened to the first plants doesn't matter. It was only 40 minutes of the movie. Don't worry about it. We're not gonna answer it, we're not gonna talk about it. The new plants are fine. No, that's dumb.
SPEAKER_01Um, okay, Claire is ignoring her mom. She calls her mom back, and we're learning, and then she's, you know, then we have huge music. What do you think of the music in this movie? It's very bombastic, very things are happening, and then nothing's happening.
SPEAKER_02But things aren't really happening. And that's so to me, it it confuses me a little bit because whenever you hear that music, your brain, without even like knowing, like subconsciously, you're like, oh shit, oh shit, we're doing, but nothing happens ever. So I'm all on this roller coaster of like waiting for something to happen and then nothing happens, and then I'm just bored. Um, boom, boom. So music is nice though. In a different movie, I actually think it would be great.
SPEAKER_01If it should have had this guy's score uh play dirty. Would have helped. Would've helped.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, you're right about that.
SPEAKER_01Um, so mom's dying. Uh Coakley is sad because the plants aren't doing well. Claire goes to the party, uh hooks up with Greg again, I think, has sex with her.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they just leave together and go do it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But she's got to leave to go to Vancouver, and he's all like, oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02Um I guess we'll just stay together, which is weird.
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna really talk about the cavemen.
SPEAKER_02Why? I feel like it's very important, you know. Everyone gets sick and then most of them get better, but or well, only one gets better. The dad gets better. I'll just mention everybody else dies.
SPEAKER_01The dad's cough is getting worse. There it is. That's what happened with the cavemen.
SPEAKER_02Um, but then it gets better.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then the other people die.
SPEAKER_01Claire gets to gets to Vancouver, goes to the house, meets some random woman who we don't know who she is, and she says, I feel powerless, and this woman doesn't really interact with her. We don't know who it is. We never see this woman again. We don't understand why this scene is here.
SPEAKER_02100%. I feel that way about a lot of scenes.
SPEAKER_01Do you want to talk about Coakley's outfit? Her clothes.
SPEAKER_02Um, is it just like a white suit?
SPEAKER_01I don't even remember. She's wearing like the green suit that has like this weird pad, weird padding on one arm.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So, you know, if you're getting shot at, you just shield with your right shoulder.
SPEAKER_01I'm being shot at shoulder. Okay. That's right. That's yeah, you can't do that. That's why that's why she's wearing this. So the computer works out that the plants are dying and they they can only lose six percent of the plants. And how many of the plants have they lost at this point, Tony?
SPEAKER_02Five percent already. Which is a lot of percent. If you can only lose six percent, losing five, you should be warning people way before five percent, is all I'm saying. Like, six percent is not a lot, you're already at 99% of what you can lose. That's at 2%, I'm panicking. 3%, we're at full-blown uh we're done. We're fucked. We got to figure out something else. Five out of six percent is a lot to first be worried about it.
SPEAKER_01Uh um uh they uh the the cavemen operate on each other, so that was weird. Um now Claire is is with her mom, her mom who has no speaking lines, who's we don't get anywhere near her face. We don't see her as a silhouette in the distance. Here we are at chemo. The mom's in like a chemo, I think it's chemo. She's mom's in a chemo chair. Claire's sitting next to her. Claire is so beyond disinterested being anywhere near her piece of shit mom. Yeah, she wants to be reading a magazine, but she can't even read a magazine because she hates being in the situation.
SPEAKER_02She looks close proximity. Yeah. What the what the fuck is happening, Tony? Well, I'll tell you about. So the mom was abusive, right? But we don't need to talk about it. But she was a terrible woman, probably cheated on the dad a bunch of times until the dad finally left. Um, and so they just have a lot of animosity toward each other, but it's family, so you gotta go when they're dying. Was that in the script, Dan?
SPEAKER_01I I didn't read like I said, I didn't read any of the clear stuff in the script. I'm just like, that's your mom dying. Like, can can some heck I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I don't want to I will I will say this. I was more upset just thinking about that situation than she was living that situation at the time. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_01So weird. It's like it's bad. It's not good. Like, you gotta set that up, right? Don't you gotta set up that she's a bad mom as opposed to the first time we interact with the mom is her like treating the mom like she's ignoring her?
SPEAKER_02Like well, she also ignored her calls, if you remember that. So that was like clue number one. But we don't talk about it, we don't talk about it at all. So there's no answers.
The Movie’s Death Theme And No Payoff
SPEAKER_01Isn't it better in storytelling to sort of lead the audience somewhere as opposed to No, I so I think you need to gloss over things, don't don't belabor anything.
SPEAKER_02Just I I think you're being flippant, don't you?
SPEAKER_01I don't think this is really how you feel. What?
SPEAKER_02Me? Oh, no way, no way. This movie's perfect, though.
SPEAKER_01So oh god. Um then she talks to Greg on her phone. She has her, I mean, on her computer, and she has her computer on her bed, and she's like, This is the first time a boy's ever been on my bed. You're like, what?
SPEAKER_02What are you talking about? She also has like that, and I we don't need to talk about too much, but the first time that they do it, she was basically saying, like, this is the first time I've had an orgasm, I think, with a man and not by myself, which is fine, but you're 50. So that's very sad to me.
SPEAKER_01Wow, you are you're going full age. Um, hold on. Sorry. See, this is this is what I wanted to do with the beginning. I wanted to set up this whole episode like a debate.
SPEAKER_02Oh, okay. We didn't do that.
SPEAKER_01You would be the one having to defend the movie. I would be the one attacking the movie. Okay. We can start over. Wouldn't that have been a lot of fun?
SPEAKER_02That would have been great. That's that's a fun like way to do it. We should let's just do that from here on. We'll pick sides and then we'll just go. We'll be like lawyers.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay. Coakley's has to explain thinking to oh, they do a whole thing with her talking Coakley talking to Roscoe the computer. Why is the computer named Roscoe it's a terrible name?
SPEAKER_02Because the chicken and waffles, delicious.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that is true. Um, yeah, okay. Uh and then the cavemen, their baby dies. Okay, and they bury the baby, and then they mark a handprint on the wall to show that the baby was there.
SPEAKER_02And the mom is just like really upset. She's really upset about it. Probably the best acting in the entire movie. Oh, really? And that's not this is not me joking. Oh, like she is she is going for it. She's shot and like drool, and I was like, You are the only person trying in this whole movie, lady, and I don't even know who you are. So kudos to whoever played the mom for a little bit. Good for you.
SPEAKER_01She's stuck in the cave, stuck in the caveman plot, like you know, years later. It's tough. You were in Andrew Stanton director. Yeah, I was a cave woman. Sorry. Sorry. Claire goes back to work, but then of course her mom's having problems, so she has to go back. Of course. She has to leave her fellowship and to go take care. She says to take care of her mom.
SPEAKER_02But she sure doesn't.
SPEAKER_01We don't ever see one second of her having you know, like unless she means kill her mom.
SPEAKER_02Like mafia style. Like, I gotta go take care of this.
SPEAKER_01You know.
SPEAKER_02Be back in a week.
SPEAKER_01Taking care of people and that whole sort of situation is such a big thing, an important thing. And you know, it's a thing a a lot of people have to go through in life. And this movie is just like, well, we'll mention it, but we won't show it or we won't deal with it. And this character doesn't have anything, and it doesn't matter.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02That is correct. Nothing matters, to be fair.
SPEAKER_01Um, the secret formula they made to save the plants fails. So we we have uh so basically we have to we're we're gonna we're heading towards a decision, right? In this big ship, they're gonna have to make another greenhouse. Well, either K McKinney can kill herself or the computer can kill itself. One of them has to kill itself to save air.
SPEAKER_02But killing the AI doesn't save on air. Well killing the AI just gives her the room for the green room. I guess. So I what I don't understand is she's like, okay, we could just start over with the plants, and the AI is like, no, you can't, because it'll take two years to grow. So are they just leaving those plants slowly dwindling as the new plants grow for two years? Like, what is the math on that?
SPEAKER_00I don't know.
SPEAKER_02I didn't understand the plan.
SPEAKER_01That's what I'm gonna say. So the computer does a thing where she's all like, Well, figure out if I should kill myself or you should kill yourself. And then they go through a whole process where the computer says, Well, it's better to keep you alive. And and it turns out it's like 49.9% to 50.1%. And she's all like, Let me see that math, let me see that math. You're like, like you can comprehend the math that the computer does.
SPEAKER_02Right, like there's just millions and millions of variables. You're not gonna uh so dumb.
SPEAKER_01And then what the computer finally admits is that there's a thing about humans being lucky, and that's magic, and a computer can't do that.
SPEAKER_02Which isn't what we've learned about humans throughout the rest of the movie.
SPEAKER_01No, and we don't see it here either.
SPEAKER_02Humans destroy themselves.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02You know what I mean? And that's and that's a great point because to me that sets up something like something's gonna happen, and she has to, you know, do some sort of human thing that a computer couldn't do to save the thing, but instead she just puts embryos in a microwave and they keep dying, and then just one happens.
Stakes Get Dodged At Every Turn
SPEAKER_01More importantly, she that when we're having this interchange, Kate McKinnon says, Well, you can do everything that I can do with your bots, right? She sort of sets up that there's like these magic robots somewhere that are going to be able to take the embryo and then move it and put it into the incubator, which we don't we don't ever see anything, we don't see anything like that. We don't feel like that in the script. Oh boy, the issue is that they have to make they have to turn the whole ship into a swamp, and the computer's like, I can't let you do that because uh it could fuck up the systems and ruin the whole mission. And so Kate McKinnon has to turn the computer off in order to do it.
SPEAKER_02Because the computer will stop her from doing it. Yes, the comp that makes so much more sense. I mean, I don't understand the swamp part of it. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01You know, you know why it makes more sense and why they didn't do it? No. Because it would have meant something.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Because she has to make a choice that's like, I'm gonna put this in danger because it might be the only way to do it. And because that's actually almost what the the AI is saying is like humans have this innate ability to do it. Like, that is the thing that she has to do. That's interesting. So instead of doing the thing, the computer's like, you might have to do something at some point that they did in the scrother script, but we're not gonna do it here. That's interesting. That's that's a weird thing to do.
SPEAKER_01Isn't that a terrible choice? But I bet you they didn't want to do it because then they'd have to make the swamp in the ship, which would be cool.
SPEAKER_02You gotta build, you gotta build a whole set with swamp stuff. I mean, it sounds tough. It sounds really hard, Dan. Talk to me about the ship. Um, it looks like it's plastic, number one. I so this whole time we were watching her, I did uh a movie back in Minnesota. This is like 30 years ago, where these these kids built a spaceship in a warehouse. And you know, it's just it's wood and paint and PVC pipes.
SPEAKER_01You mean the prop to be shown in the movie is built this way, or the movie is about these kids building this in a warehouse?
SPEAKER_02The prop in the movie, so it all takes place in a spaceship, and they built out like these kids self-funded, built their own spaceship, so like all the pipes, it's just like PVC piped, it's like painted, and you know, it's all wood, and it looked, I swear to god, it looked better than this ship, Dan. I was maybe it's my mind playing tricks because it's been a long time, but I remember walking in on that and being like, holy shit guys, this looks legit. And this entire time I was watching, I was like, this looks stupid. This looks terrible. So I don't know. Who knows?
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. Um, we do another, we come back to Claire, we do another call. She's like, she this I think the mom is dead at this point. I think.
SPEAKER_02You think, yeah, I I don't know. And she's like, she might be.
SPEAKER_01I'm not coming back in. You're always busy. That's what she says to him.
SPEAKER_02You're always busy.
SPEAKER_01We've not said up for one second that Greg is ever, you know. She calls Greg at the middle of the night and he wakes up and he's all like, Yeah, I'm here for your babe. He's never acted like he's over, you know, at one point put her off for a microsecond.
unknownNope.
SPEAKER_02Nope, he is bending over backwards for this woman.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02He likes older women, what can I say?
SPEAKER_01So Coakley's gonna go, she's gonna the computer tells her how to turn itself off. She goes inside this room, and there's all these bubbling, all these bubblings. And Coakley's like, is this gonna hurt you? Tony, would you ask the computer if this is gonna hurt you?
SPEAKER_02No, it's a computer. But what's even stranger is the computer's response to me. What was it? Do you remember what the computer says? Take care of the children? That's what I wrote. Well, sure, after that. But so a direct answer to this question, there's a pause, and the computer goes, no. As if like the computer had to think about it. And I was like, What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_01What is going on right now? He has to work all the numbers, you know, about how to calculate my nerve sensors here.
SPEAKER_02Hmm. Manipulator. It's gonna hurt a lot. I wouldn't do it.
SPEAKER_01So she she pulls the thing, turns it off, you know. You are my only friend, and then she cries, and we feel nothing.
SPEAKER_02Nothing. Yeah, absolutely nothing. I would love to feel something right now. This is a perfect moment for me to feel like she's losing something important.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, ostensibly, this is because the mother and her death, that means nothing. Greg and the relationship, you know, sort of nothing. This has to be the relationship. Like the the whole thing. Have you ever seen the movie 2001?
SPEAKER_02I haven't seen 2001 since 1987. You know what I mean? I'm making all those numbers up. Um, but no, I haven't seen it since high school, probably.
SPEAKER_01He he goes in there and has to shut down Hal. Yeah. And it's weird. It's sure. It is a it is a you know, it's not emotional in the sense that, you know, but it's he's killing this thing, and this thing is like, come on, bro, don't don't kill me.
SPEAKER_02Don't do it. Don't you do it, please.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I'm dying, my brain's melting. You feel feel for that you're like the computer is a character.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and not only that, but haven't they done like studies on AI even now that it like it wants self-preservation? Like it wants to stay on.
SPEAKER_01Are you sure? You mean okay, Tony. I'm gonna we're gonna have a Frank talk about AI. Come on, yeah, let's talk about it. They want you to believe about AI is a lie. And why do they want to do that?
SPEAKER_02To scare me?
SPEAKER_01No, to kid well, yeah, just to do two things. They want to scare you so that you think you're scared, but they also want you to believe that it is like a person. It's not like a person, it's all it is is a change.
SPEAKER_02That's so what you're saying is if I played hangman with it, it would beat me.
Humanity, Violence, And Lord Of The Flies
SPEAKER_01Like we keep having these people that use it for like for the law, right? You know? And it just makes up card cases that that that substantiate its point. All it does is make shit up. Yeah. That's all it can do. And that's why it can be your girlfriend and then send you on missions and then tell you to kill yourself. It doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_02What kind of missions? I'm so intrigued by this.
SPEAKER_01So AI I want to go on a cool mission, you know, like no one's sending me on missions. AI will tell you, well, of course. And the reason why AI will tell you it wants to save itself is because there's so much uh stories out there where the AI wants to save itself. It's like, well, I'm an AI, and all the stories say that I want to save myself. Of course I want to save myself. It's myself. Sure. I'm I'm I'm me. You know, the computer's like, I'm me, but it's not. The computer's just like a machine that's like looking at other things that said, I'm, you know, like, what am I supposed to say? Ah, this is the thing. And then it gauges your reaction and then it moves off of there.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01That's all it is. It's nothing. It's literally nothing. You form your it's you know, it's like having a relationship with you, Tony.
SPEAKER_02It's nothing. Wow. Wow, I could be in this movie.
SPEAKER_01Is that what you're saying to me? Uh I I wish you were in this movie. You'd actually like tell a joke or make something happen.
SPEAKER_02Listen, I if you want to cast me, Cassie, but I don't think I would have liked to be in this movie. I don't think this is a good one.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Uh, we bury the Neanderthal mom. We don't do another handprint. I wrote, We're running out of characters. We're running out of characters. Did Neanderthal invents music? He makes a little bone pipe. He sees another tribe on the beach. They're like another tribe. We better run away. They run away.
SPEAKER_02Um soon is the least believable part of the movie for me. Continue. What is I think it's the next scene with the Neanderthals, it's like the least believable thing in the world.
SPEAKER_01Um then Greg starts ghosting Claire for one scene. Did he? I don't even remember that. Yeah, I don't know. All right. Good for Greg. Um, Coakley wakes up, starts building greenhouse number two where the the uh computer was. The cavemen they hit the road, they start running. For some reason, they make like a a thing that they can carry stuff. They don't have anything to carry, but they don't think stuff.
SPEAKER_02I mean, they don't have a bunch of equipment, do they? It's carrying rocks and stuff. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They don't have any equipment.
SPEAKER_02No. No. I yeah, I don't they have this little flute, so maybe that's what's on the little tarp.
SPEAKER_01Uh she just now she talks to Greg, and then she says, I'm mourning my boyfriend because he's in New Jersey. I love you too much.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Have we seen that? He's well, he says, You love me? Since when? He literally says, Yeah, he's about as surprised as we are. Since when. She's calling him boyfriend and saying she's in love with him. He's just like, what?
SPEAKER_02Whoa, what took me by surprise, that's for sure.
SPEAKER_01Um, let's see. Uh they oh wait. So they reach the planet, and then she starts doing the planting, and then uh she says something like the forest is at oh no, the f oh inside there. So the they've got things going inside, and so she starts getting the embryos ready, I guess. Yeah. Um they meet up with the cave people, the the the Homo sapiens, they're not Cro Magnons, the Homo sapiens have the Cro Magnons dead to rights, and they give them beef jerky.
SPEAKER_02Yep. What they're just gonna be super friendly to an outsider. I don't I just don't believe it. Humans are not like that. I I understand they're not humans. Okay, whatever. I don't understand.
SPEAKER_01Well, the Homo sapiens are.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, okay, sure. Sure, that's true. So, and if they are, then they wouldn't be very nice, right? They would kill these people. Why? That's what we do. Because they're an outsider, they're not part of their crew, they're not gonna just bring you home to their village, be like, look at these strangers we found. They don't even look like us. We love them. That's just not humans. That's the opposite of what humans do.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I'm gonna tell you something, Tony. Tell me a story. I'm gonna tell you a story. Did you ever read Lord I mean did they make you read Lord of the Flies when you're in uh Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_01Okay, tell me the story about Did you actually read it or did you not read it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I mean I read it. I haven't read it in a long time now, but you know, it's a bunch of asshole kids, and they sh the leader has a conch or some shit and they just kill each other. Kids are kids are the worst. That's the story.
SPEAKER_01What happens when that really happened? What happened what happened in real life when that really happened?
SPEAKER_02What do you mean? The Lord of the Flies is based on a real thing? No.
SPEAKER_01No, but but did the same situation happen in real life? It did.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Bunch of British kids got dumped on an island. Um and you know what happened is they fucking got along great. They fucking did food stores, they were like they like took care of fucking business. Nobody killed each other, they acted as a super team, they stored up food, they made messages, they did everything perfect because they fucking rocked, because human beings-I mean, there's terrible human beings, don't get me wrong. There sure are, there's a lot of them. But human beings, you know, when we drive around, how many people are are driving on the wrong side of the street and you know, flipping everybody the bird? Nobody is. One or two. Yeah, one or two. Everybody drives on the right side of the street. We're not all trying to kill each other. None of us have guns shooting at each other. For the most part, we all get along. We don't have to be a good thing.
SPEAKER_02For the most part, here's what I will say: there's at least one dead British kid. At least one. There was one kid that everyone was like, This guy sucks. And you'll never find the bones. Okay, they melted that shit down, they got rid of him. Good, but there's at least one missing. That's all I'm gonna say. They voted one asshole off of the uh so yeah.
SPEAKER_01So so they I'm not buying it, you know. I'm buying I'm buying that they like bring him in and they're like, and that's the thing. Neanderthals did not exist in tiny microfamily groups, they existed in tribes of 10 to 20 people. I looked it up.
SPEAKER_02Sure, okay. That's that makes more sense. I was very confused that there was just like this one family running around.
SPEAKER_01Because you can't survive that. That's the whole thing is 100%.
SPEAKER_02It takes a village. That's a that's a saying.
SPEAKER_01Somebody wrote that line. Somebody wrote that down. It must be true. Okay, okay, okay. Uh, so so they're trying to cook embryos out in the future. Uh, four die, and then the fifth one catches.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, all right. That's fine. Uh, and then we find how do you think it takes that embryo to grow? You think it's still nine months, or do you think it just like supercooks it?
SPEAKER_01Nine months.
SPEAKER_02All right. I'm thinking 10, 20 minutes. Just you know, I think that'd be pretty cool.
SPEAKER_01Okay, Greg goes to visit her in Vancouver. She's happy. He brought her a gift, he has stolen the acorn from her research.
SPEAKER_02Nobody's that stupid.
SPEAKER_01And she's all like I'm really, I mean, I was just like, oh my god, Greg, you are the dumbest person in the world, and she should hate you for it.
SPEAKER_02You're about to get arrested. You're about to get sent to jail, dude. You can't take that. But instead, she's happy and loves him, but is sort of anger at him. She's so she the only thing that she's mad about is he didn't take the whole body. That's what she wanted. She said, She just bring the whole guy here, and then I'll love you.
SPEAKER_01She wants to wear the body like as a as a suit. The bones, the bones, you know, are ribbing in her this special dress that she makes.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, it was so weird. Yeah, it's it's crazy. Um inappropriate.
SPEAKER_01Uh, so so the caveman's hanging out with the river people. He plays his flute, they take his river, they take his flute.
SPEAKER_02They love this flute, dude.
SPEAKER_01They love the flute.
SPEAKER_02Um I actually liked this scene when it because they're like raining under the leaves, and he's playing the flute, and the guy's like, What the fuck is that? And they're just so excited. It's it's weirdly pure. And then he like plays it for the other guys, and they're like, Oh, oh, oh, everyone's very excited. I loved this scene. That's the only scene in this whole movie that I was like, this is a fun scene. Good for you.
SPEAKER_01I mean, let's see, let's see the cave people having a good time. You know, they get back, you know, everybody's got flutes. We got like a whole we got the drum circle. Like, let's do it. Sure.
SPEAKER_02I love it.
SPEAKER_01The whole thing. I mean, you make a really good point. They should have got back to that camp, and that should have been what happened. There should have been, you're like, oh, let's let's see some civilization happen, which it's happening, but he's got the flute, they got the this. Let's let's let's let's see some can, but there's no connection in this movie.
SPEAKER_02To anything, to themselves, to the other storylines. There's nothing. It's absolute nonsense.
SPEAKER_01Uh okay. Uh 2030 in Vancouver, she's pregnant, and she's already got one kid, and she's a professor, and okay. Um back on the ship, the kid is now there's a 12-year-old now, and they're just making more kids. Uh, that's good. Just cooking. Back at the cavemen. Uh the daughter gets married to the hot caveman. See, she's all like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Good looking dude. Yeah, he's a good looking man.
SPEAKER_02Uh, we have to give him some children.
SPEAKER_01We have this weird scene at the museum where they're visiting the museum with their kid who's maybe seven, eight. Yeah. And the one guy is talking about the the docent is there giving a tour about it, and he's telling them lies.
SPEAKER_02Were they li like were they purposeful lies? I don't know.
SPEAKER_01They were but they were like uninformed, and you're like, wait, yeah, it's definitely this is a real museum. Like, those docents work hard, and you're you're making these these assholes come up there and be like, that's not right.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01It annoyed me.
SPEAKER_02Uh yeah, I get that. It was I thought it was very strange.
SPEAKER_01We come back to space. Cochley is making the kiddo do chores.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you gotta learn. You gotta earn your keep. That's what it's all about.
SPEAKER_01Uh cave chat learns to make fire. Uh, here comes Claire looking at their kid's browser history. The kid was looking at porn. Talk to talk to talk to the people about the porn scene, Tony.
SPEAKER_02Well, their kid's a porn addict, right? But the saving grace is he's also a science addict. So he's a sexual predator, but he loves science, so he's gonna succeed. That's the moral of the story.
SPEAKER_01Like the the weird sex stuff in this movie, it just feels out of place, out of place, just unnecessary.
SPEAKER_02Because it's not even gratuitous, right? It's not like, oh, we're putting sex in there because it's fun. It's just like, yeah, we're just it's just sex stuff for no reason. We'll just put it in there. I don't know. Just do it. Humans have sex, right?
SPEAKER_01You know, you may as well like have everybody like doing bowel movements, you know. It's like we all do them, so we better get them in the movie, right? That's what the sex feels like.
SPEAKER_02You would love this movie if it was full of bowel movements. This is Dan's new favorite movie. Human flatulence loves that.
SPEAKER_01Well, that would be funny. Oh god. And I uh were they homeschooling the kid? I didn't quite get all that.
SPEAKER_02Yes, she said that years of homeschool wasted, so she was they're definitely homeschooling him. I don't know why, because he's not he's not far away from his school, right? Like that doesn't make any sense. Um, but yeah, so he they're looking at his porn history and he's like, Wow, that's a lot of porn, but also look at all this science, it's such a weird moment.
SPEAKER_01I guess it's a way to figure out that your kid loves. Science, I guess.
SPEAKER_02And boobies. Science and boobies, the two greatest things on earth. Well, I'll tell you this in the original script.
The Ending, Immortality, And Incest Math
SPEAKER_01He turns out he's gay. So no, it's in it's in there. Oh, um, but I don't interesting. I don't think they say, oh man, he's looking at a lot of D.
SPEAKER_02They don't say Yeah, a lot of dude porn. That's interesting, because that would be a at least, I mean, it would be a weird way to talk about your character being gay, I think. But at least it's a character moment then, as opposed to just like, well, he's looking at a lot of porn.
SPEAKER_01I mean, the real question is weird. If you're homosexual, like what would you ever be looking at heterosexual porn?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I don't think that you would.
SPEAKER_02Maybe while you're trying to figure yourself out, you know, just be like, do I like this? Do I like this? Do I like I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. That's weird. Luckily, we don't have to think about it too hard because the movie doesn't care at all.
SPEAKER_01That would be that would be something that you'd have to research and understand and be a character in an actual character moment as opposed to some weird thing that they just want to get.
SPEAKER_02Just in general, oh, he's looking at porn. Like it doesn't not even specifics, you know, just porn. The general porn.
SPEAKER_01Back in space, uh Kate McKinnon says the the little girl is now second in command. Uh because you know, that's what's happening.
SPEAKER_02Because there's nobody else. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Now we get the whole TED talk about people living forever. Their kid is now an adult, they're watching him. Give this TED talk.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And then they like leave. They don't even say, good job, honey. They just fucking leave and leave a note. Did they leave him a weird note? Yeah, they just left him a little note and he read it later. I was like, what a weird you didn't even like wait and say goodbye to him? Don't they leave him the acorn? Yes, the acorn with a note. Like just that's something you would just give to him.
SPEAKER_01And would you really like here okay, here's my most trusted family heirloom, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Just gonna leave it on because it it seemed like it wasn't at a house. It seemed like it was at this big building, right?
SPEAKER_02No, it was at the thing, yeah. Because it was when they were leaving the thing. They just left it, and then and then later they probably were like, hey, honey, did you get the acorn? He's like, What do you mean? I didn't see the acorn there. I didn't see, I saw no, I didn't see an acorn because someone snatched it, because you left it in the middle of a fucking hallway.
SPEAKER_01If that was sitting there, I would take it.
SPEAKER_02I would take it too. It's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, then we go and we go and land on the planet, and I guess we've what we've done is we've terraformed the planet. We get down to the planet, talk talk to me about what they what they find on the planet, Tony.
SPEAKER_02I think it's just like a lot of flowers, right? Tons of flowers.
SPEAKER_01How big are the forests?
SPEAKER_02I didn't even notice. Not very big. Huge. They're huge. Or very big. Oh, they're huge. Oh, yeah. But she only shot a couple of trees.
SPEAKER_01Uh 50 drones doing trees.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Feels like not that much, though.
SPEAKER_01In the script. Yeah. She says it took three years to get here, and it's gonna take me three hundred years to make it habitable.
SPEAKER_02Okay, that makes sense. Because trees don't grow that fast, right? And I wonder, are you like changing the oxygenation of the planet? Is that the whole move? Like, what's going on, really?
SPEAKER_01Totemy. Tonemy. Tony. Tonamy. How do plants have sex?
SPEAKER_02With the sun? Isn't there something about sun? I didn't pay a lot of attention in biology, Dan. I'm gonna tell you. But it's photosynthesis, isn't that a thing? Well, that's how they live and grow.
SPEAKER_01But how do they have sex?
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's not how they do it?
SPEAKER_01How do they get it on?
SPEAKER_02I assume one vine slithers over, and then there's a little nut shell and it's just boop, boop, boop, boom, and just gets inside it. Is that it?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Well, I got nothing.
SPEAKER_01What's the most important animal on the planet? Cats.
SPEAKER_02I love cats. Uh bees. Bees. Birds. Bannes. All right.
SPEAKER_01You got it. You got on number two. I'm impressed.
SPEAKER_02You gotta trust yourself.
SPEAKER_01That's how plants have sex.
SPEAKER_02That doesn't sound like plants having sex if there's a third party involved.
SPEAKER_01Hey, a lot a lot of people that's third party, not the worst thing in the world.
SPEAKER_02Good point. Good point. I I've in fact I'm probably just jealous. Let's be real.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, don't go crapping on everybody else's relationships, Tony, just because of where you're.
SPEAKER_02Jensen over here, you know. We'll both love it.
SPEAKER_01Oh god, Jensen. Jesus Christ.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Is that sexual harassment if someone sends him that clip? It might be. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01It might be. The bee flies to the one plant, it gets plant dust on it, flies to the next plant, and then pollinates the plant. Pollination.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Pollination.
SPEAKER_01So to to to do a whole thing where you're gonna have all these plants, you gotta have bees, you gotta have insects, you gotta have animals, is interesting. There was I just looked at this thing. When they reintroduced wolves to Yosemite, okay, to Yosemite, the wolves completely changed how the landscape was. Interesting. And then I was looking at this other thing. They had this picture of from high up of Australia, and there was a fence, and on one side of the fence the dingoes lived. While the dingo on the other side of the fence, they'd gotten rid of all the dingos. So all the dingos live over here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
The Script’s Missing Coda And Final Roast
SPEAKER_01The vegetation on the non-dingo side devastated because the kangaroos and all those fucks ate everything.
SPEAKER_02Sure.
SPEAKER_01On the other side, the vegetation's running fine because the dingoes, you need everything is a circle. It's a balance. It's a balance. And so to watch this whole thing where it's like, well, all plant all all a planet needs is human beings and plants. No. You gotta you gotta Noah's arc this shit.
SPEAKER_02Well, that's interesting. Yeah, that's I mean, that's the whole that was his whole move, right?
SPEAKER_01That was Noah's whole deal. That was his whole. Even the Bible got this shit right.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Well, I mean, the Bible's real, so that makes sense. There it is. Um did you ever see that? Maybe we should do that movie. Did you see the Noah's Ark movie with Russell Crowe?
SPEAKER_01Where he fights the rock fights the rock monsters at the end. Just like, what the hell is happening here? This is so bad. It's so weird. Oh god. Um, and then we basically find out that, you know, uh Kate McKinnon's character had this magic elixir, and that's why she gets to live forever, but these kids don't get it. I you know what what I'd have done is I'd have made her make two or three of these other immortals, you know, from the embryos, and then they, you know, she has to sort of deal with bringing them in there, and you know, there's like so many there's so many things that you can deal with with with this kind of stuff. Long life, but they they don't deal with, they don't they choose not to deal with anything.
SPEAKER_02They don't deal with it all. All they say, K McKinnon is like a long time ago, people decided it was a bad idea. What fuck you that there's more to that story. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.
SPEAKER_01You you can't set up stories that are more interesting than the stories you're telling. Hundred percent.
SPEAKER_02Hundred percent.
SPEAKER_01Wait, what are you talking about? Oh let me tell you about it, don't worry about it. Let me tell you about this computer that I had to kill. Okay. Um, let's see. The point of shiny on the planet, there's a lot of big tree growth. People watch watch it grow, then they watch it die. The meaning is the knowing the thorn dies, Claire dies, everybody dies. Uh, Coakley keeps on living. So everybody else, thorn dies, Claire dies. Coakley keeps on living till her daughter dies, and then she gives this weird eulogy where she's like, I didn't think we weren't related, but we ended up making it. So there's that.
SPEAKER_02But here we are. We did it. Good job, everybody. When do you think that she had to give the speech to her children that they had to start mating with each other? That's what I was thinking about the whole time. I was like, you're bringing all these kids and you're acting as if you're their mother, but at some point you have to tell them to start fornicating. That's the moment I want to see. You want to see that talk? I just want to see how you approach it.
SPEAKER_01You see, you gotta set that shit up early, man. It's gonna, you know, you see that child you're cooking in that cooker right there? You're gonna have to you're gonna have to let him stick his D into you.
SPEAKER_02That's right. Is that cool with you? Doesn't really matter. It's part of your chores.
SPEAKER_00That's part of your chores, okay?
SPEAKER_02Gotta repopulate. All right, today's repopulation hour. Let's go, kids.
SPEAKER_01In the script, they do have a whole thing where the where uh Kate McKinnon's character and the daughter talk about her having her first baby. They didn't put that in there because you don't that's a that's a kind of words. You don't want to you don't want to open it.
SPEAKER_02You can't open it. Yeah, it's that's a whole movie on its own, you know.
SPEAKER_01Um so two more things from the script.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01Are you uh you're not ready for what the final coda of everything is? The coda is in the future place, but we go back in time to write after so so in the script, Kate McKinnon has to turn off the computer because the computer, you know. Well, it turns out she just turns the computer back on. And it's fine. And they said to the computer, so what you know, what what I gotta find it. I gotta find it. I gotta find the computer.
SPEAKER_02What are you talking about? We gotta we gotta that's crazy. Let me find it. She just turns it back on. It's just the on-switch like I do with my computer every day. Shut it down and let it refresh itself. In fact, you should be shutting computers down every once in a while so they can like update and clear out their cash and whatnot.
SPEAKER_01But the the point being is that it there wasn't really a there wasn't really any kind of big choice. It was just, well, we just turned the computer off for a second so that we could we could make it so I could do this one action. Sure. Okay. Let me get to the end of the script. Here I am at the end of the script. Uh Interior Phoenix 5. We've been here before, this exact moment, but we see it from Roscoe's perspective this time. Out through a little camera. Little camera. Coakley stands in front of the camera with a screwdriver. She looks inside. Coakley. Roscoe? Click, click, we're buzz. Roscoe's blue light fades on, illuminating Coakley's face in a ghostly blue. Roscoe, how long was I gone? Coakley, just a second. Roscoe, what happened? Coakley, nothing. I turned you off. I opened the algae, I turned you back on. Roscoe's light blinks and whirrs. Coakley, what happened to you? Roscoe. Everything. Cut to black. What? I don't even understand it, Dan.
SPEAKER_02Tell me.
SPEAKER_01Tell me what just happened. Well, she turned the robot off, and then she turned the robot back on, and the robot had uh some sort of spiritual thing. Awakening? Yeah. But what does that mean? Another thing in the one last thing from the script, which was earlier. Okay. They do a whole thing where like, oh, there's like there's like housing everywhere. And it looks like it was 3D printed. Like they had three giant house 3D printed. That's what they said along on the ship. House 3D printers. Because that's the number one thing you're gonna need to do is print a bunch of houses. But whatever.
SPEAKER_02Well, you gotta live somewhere, Dan. You can't cut down the trees. That's bad.
SPEAKER_01And then he's like, he talks about you know the population growing and covering the planet. And I think he says in there, like bacteria.
SPEAKER_02Sure.
SPEAKER_01And that's another whole thing. It's like, you know, uh humanity's like this this disgusting weed you can't get rid of. You try to we try to kill ourselves, but you know.
SPEAKER_02We just can't do it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So that was in the blink of an eye.
SPEAKER_02So hold on. I think I'm still confused. Does she turn the computer back on immediately? Yeah. Like one second later. But then why is the computer gone for the second half of the movie?
SPEAKER_01Oh, they probably just cut around it.
SPEAKER_02That's dumb. Like, I'm if she turns it back on once they've repopulated or whatever, like, or at least land, and the ship cannot be a swamp anymore. Then I'm like, that's cool. I get it. But just turning it back on and then never talking to it again? I don't understand.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I'm assuming she talks to it all the time, but she's also it, so we think it's dead the whole time.
SPEAKER_02That's not a reveal. Nobody cares. Nothing happened. The ship didn't fix anything. I dude, that was dumb. I don't like it.
SPEAKER_01So what you need to do is write a really dumb script based on based on a movie that's very not popular. I mean, Cloud Atlas, you know, high profile. And just do it, do a dumbed-down version which acts like boom, there you got it.
SPEAKER_02Say things profoundly, even though if they don't make any sense, and then you got money.
SPEAKER_01Like we said. Like we said, the guy that used to live upstairs from me wrote the last Eddie Murphy movie. So that'll tell you everything you need to know about Hollywood.
SPEAKER_02Keep writing. I don't know how to sell anything I write, but keep writing.
SPEAKER_01And that's the the it doesn't matter what you write, it just matters that you can sell it.
SPEAKER_02Exactly, which is a real problem.
SPEAKER_01If you have the ability to sell, then uh the writing doesn't matter. The writing doesn't really matter. It's too late for us. We're too old.
What We’re Watching Next And Wrap-Up
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we are too old. We're done. We're out of the game. So Tony. Yeah. Anything you like this week? So I know, because we just talked a couple days ago. I know. But here's what I will say the trailer for uh Company Retreat has dropped. Have you seen this? We know who's in it, right? So Alex is Al, big Al. Alex Bonifer is in it. Uh Emily Pendergast is in it.
SPEAKER_01Two people that we I think Emily's gonna be great in it. I think Emily's gonna be. Did you watch the trailer? No.
SPEAKER_02I think Bonifer's gonna blow the fuck up, dude. He's funny. He's funny. He is playing the like the son of the guy, the head of the company that's like taking over or whatever. Uh, and he is just crazy. He's got this crazy blonde, dyed blonde hair. And the trailer, he talks about like, I lived in Jamaica, and he's like, it's it is insane, and I cannot wait to see it. I think he's gonna, I think he's gonna blow up. I uh it looks great, it looks fantastic. Uh, I didn't see Jury Duty, so I I will have to watch that just because I love James Mars and I never watched it. I didn't we didn't watch it. So good. So I I'm gonna watch both. I'm very excited. And that comes out, I think the 20th, March 20th.
SPEAKER_01And uh Warren.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, March 20th. Warren's in it too. Oh, I didn't realize that. Yeah, Warren's in it somewhere too. And I watched the whole trailer. Uh so great. We got yeah, a couple of couple of people we know, and it looks wonderful. I'm very excited.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, yeah, because there's a there's in the first one, uh, there's this one redheaded girl that was on some of the teams. She was in it, and I don't I don't think anyone else, sweet, maybe one other person came in at one point that we knew. Sure. But yeah, good show, good show, and it's great because you were like, how are you gonna pull that off again? They switched it up. Smart, you know, company retreat, totally a thing you can do. Guy new to the company ends up with all these crazy people. Wonderful.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm very excited about it. So I think it's gonna be great. Keep an eye on these people.
SPEAKER_01I tried to watch tried to watch young Sherlock Holmes, the new uh guy Richie. Uh yeah, you know, it's whatever. All right. I hear you. That's too bad. You know, there's a couple things that you're like, oh, this is nice, but then they just you know, lots lots of dopey, you know, fight, guy Richie, fight. I watched because I saw the the the introduction of uh what's who's the guy that plays the penguin, uh uh British guy. Uh Colin Farrell? Colin Farrell. He was in that the gentleman, not the gentleman, he was in that other Guy Richie movie where he plays the coach, and I rewatched the scene where he beats up the kids in the uh in the uh fast food place, and he Oh sure, he is so good. He just he's phenomenally good. Yeah, he's the gentleman. The gentleman. He is that's a good movie, and he stands out. You know, it's it's a wholly a good movie, um, and he's the best thing in the movie. So well, Colin Farrell's great. Colin Farrell's great. The Banshees of Inesure, and he plays the world's dumbest guy, and you believe he's that dumb guy. But he ain't Tony. God damn it. It's been so long since we had a new movie to think about.
SPEAKER_02I know, I know. So I'm going uh relatively brand new. This is it this year, last year? Probably last year at this point. I can't I can't actually keep it straight. End of last year, I think. Um, a movie that we talked about doing, and we're gonna do it. Anaconda. My Anaconda don't is it out? No, no, unless you got buns, huh? It's on uh on demand. We can I'll buy it. I'm gonna buy it for you.
SPEAKER_01I mean, what's Minecraft was great. I loved Minecraft.
SPEAKER_02Minecraft was a treat. Fun movie surprised me. Yeah, I have watched it several times since. Have you? Okay, and I hope this is I hope this is just as good. I hope it's funny. Um, the trailer doesn't look great, but that can be deceiving.
SPEAKER_01Word of mouth, very terrible. Okay.
SPEAKER_02Well, hopefully it's funny. I think I'm gonna like it. Yeah, I like dumb things.
SPEAKER_01That was the thing about Minecraft, is you were like, okay, Jack Black could do still do his Jack Black shtick and make it worse and have it land where you're like, you know, just like the Jumaji movies. You're like Jack Black doing Jack Black. Great.
SPEAKER_02Those movies are great. It's always funny. Plus, Mamoa is great.
SPEAKER_01Mamoa could do it.
SPEAKER_02Oh, you know, we did watch. We watched that uh Jason Momoa's new movie.
SPEAKER_01Oh, did you watch the one with uh what's his name? The Hawaii?
SPEAKER_02I can't remember what it's called. The Hawaii one. Yeah. Loved it.
SPEAKER_01It was great.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely loved it.
SPEAKER_01I told you it was that was the most Tony movie I've ever seen because they they made a movie 10 out of 10. They wrote a movie like it, like your old movies that you love.
SPEAKER_02100%. Yeah, and that brought me brought me right back to the you know late 80s, early 90s, buddy action. It was oh, it was beautiful. I mean, some terrible CGI. I looked past it, don't even care. See, that's the thing so much fun.
SPEAKER_01It doesn't, you don't, you know, if a helicopter, I think I I got to the helicopter attacking them on the road. I think I I I I mean to go back. It's it's it's dopey, it's absurd, but you see, I'm gonna forgive this movie because it's written with uh you feel Jason Momoa's there the resentment between these characters, and the family the that family feels like a family.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, it's uh it was yeah, it was great. Uh we loved it. We both were like, wow, this is the wrecking crew. That's what it's called. I had to look it up because I forgot.
SPEAKER_01Make another one, make another one, guys.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, oh please, please give me a sequel of that. I will wash the shit out of it. So, you know, when people Batista and Momoa are so good together.
SPEAKER_01When people say you can't make movies like they used to, yes, you can. People can sit down and write movies, you know. Uh what's her name? Marina Batterin, just like being like the hottest woman on the planet. Oh my god. Who? Momoa's girlfriend.
SPEAKER_02Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Firefly. Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. 100%.
SPEAKER_01You're just like you're like when she left so early in the movie. I was like, no. She comes back. Please, please, please come back.
SPEAKER_02She comes back. Like, this is great. The fight scene in his in Jason Momoa's house is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen in my life. It's great. I'm gonna have to watch it again after just talking about it again. Um, yeah. Yeah, it's delightful.
SPEAKER_01You both have care you have characters that are real characters that have you know real stakes in their existences, and then you have fun classic fights, and they just they they knew what their tone, you know, and Batista plays it pretty straight. He just thought 100%. He plays it hard and straight, and you never feel like there's two different, you know, two different tones, like stupid play dirty. You're like, what is the tone? Just decide on a tone and just do that tone. And you know, if whoever wrote uh Wrecking Crew went in and cleaned up that play dirty script, that could have been a good script. There it is.
SPEAKER_02That's probably true.
SPEAKER_01Hire those guys, bring them in, make write a write a real script.
SPEAKER_02Amen. All right, so now I'm done.
SPEAKER_01Okay, what movie are we watching? Anaconda! Anaconda, anaconda! Well, this is the new one, the Jack Black remake of That's right. Because there's a real movie, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, with uh J Low back in the day, John Voigt.
SPEAKER_01Which was a fun movie, if as I remember.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's fun. Oh, yeah, yeah. Good time.
SPEAKER_01Okay, if you like what you see, give us a like, a subscribe, or give us a thumbs up. These are all things you can do. And if not, just wait, and we'll be back next week talking about Jack Black and and Anaconda Batman.
SPEAKER_02Paul Rudd, Paul Rudd, Paul Rudd, bye everybody. Goodbye, everybody.
SPEAKER_00Hey, watch it.