Hate Watching with Dan and Tony

Hate Watching In The Blink Of An Eye: Blink too hard and you'll...fall asleep

Dan Goodsell and Tony Czech Season 1 Episode 278

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Three timelines. One supposed “grand message.” And somehow we’re left asking the simplest question a movie can provoke: what was the point? We take on In The Blink Of An Eye, the Hulu sci-fi drama that jumps from a prehistoric survival story to a modern relationship to a far-future space mission, then expects the connections to feel profound just because the music swells.

We walk through what works, what absolutely doesn’t, and why the film’s structure keeps dodging real stakes. We talk about the acorn artifact that looks like a meaningful thread but never pays off, the “impossible” sick plants that should drive the plot but get brushed aside, and the AI companion relationship that should be emotionally loaded after centuries but lands with a thud. Along the way, we compare the finished film to details from the original blacklist script and call out the changes that flatten conflict and drain tension.

We also dig into the movie’s big themes: mortality, longevity, and the idea that death gives life meaning. If you’re into movie reviews, screenwriting lessons, sci-fi storytelling, and debates about theme versus payoff, you’ll get a clear map of why this one feels like it’s reaching for Cloud Atlas energy without doing the hard work. Subscribe, share the show with a friend who loves a good hate-watch, and leave a review. What’s your best explanation for why these three stories belong together?


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Tony: @tonydczech

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Snacks, Catch-Up, And The Premise

SPEAKER_02

I had 7-Eleven twice the other day.

SPEAKER_01

Jesus Christ. That's it's not a that's not a humble brag.

SPEAKER_02

No, it's a brag brag, you know what I'm saying? That's a baller move.

SPEAKER_00

Dan and Tony. I watched.

SPEAKER_01

Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I am Dan.

SPEAKER_02

I am Tony. We're whispering today. It's almost like we're a calming influence here.

SPEAKER_01

We're almost wearing the same clothes that we wore last time because it's been so long since we've seen each other.

SPEAKER_02

Here's a real question. Am I wearing the same clothes? There's a chance that I am, Dan. I'm just gonna tell you that, right? It's only been two days. There's a chance. Who knows?

SPEAKER_01

I know. I got three new shirts for Christmas, so Wow.

SPEAKER_02

Is this Joshua Tree one of the new ones? Probably not.

SPEAKER_01

No, this one's really old. This one's really big and really comfortable. It's like way too large.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's nice.

SPEAKER_01

So I look I look svelte in it. I don't look svelte in it, but I look small.

SPEAKER_02

You look you look meek. That's where you look.

SPEAKER_01

Um, yeah, because we just did Christmas uh last weekend. Oh, that's why you went to the folks.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, because Dan, you know that that was three months ago, yeah?

SPEAKER_01

We're in March. It rained on Christmas, so we had to postpone Christmas, and we just got around doing that. Three months? That's a long postponement.

SPEAKER_02

Just wait till next year, guys. You're fine.

SPEAKER_01

Pile of Christmas presents waiting to be opened.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. That's beautiful. I I think we should just make Christmas year rap. You know, once a month we just give gifts to people. I think that's nice. Well, you could start that anytime, Tony.

SPEAKER_01

I'll give you my address. It's in the mail, buddy. Don't you worry. So at this show, we catch up with each other. Oh, how you been? How you've been. But we also we talk about movies and we do the same thing. No, we don't. We watch bad movies 99% of the time. And then we can great stuff.

unknown

Play dirty.

SPEAKER_01

I can imagine you might re-watch play dirty at some point.

First Takes On A Boring Movie

SPEAKER_02

I here's the here's what I'm gonna tell you right now. I know that we did these close together, these shows. So it's cheating a little bit, but I remember more of Play Dirty than I remember of this movie by far.

SPEAKER_01

There's well, this the movie we're doing is in the in the blink of an eye, released on Hulu, not Disney, but I watched it on Disney Plus. It's a Hulu movie. They're the same now. I sort of it's all confusing.

SPEAKER_02

Everyone's grouping up. I can't keep track.

SPEAKER_01

2026, hour and 35 minutes. Andrew Stanton, a director that I love to hate. No, I just hate. Um you enjoy hating it. You have fun. Don't lie. There's a thing about his movie. I mean, that's the thing. I he his movies bring up a special level of ire in me. Uh Wally, which is what which is a which is a movie that the first half pretty good, the second half makes me want to kill the filmmaker. Um Sean Carter, a movie that's not good, but I hate I hate the fan base of the John Carter movie because they there's always like these people, that movie's really good. I don't know. It was the marketing's problem. No, no, it was that it was a bad movie. That was his problem. That's that's the number one problem. Because I watched it when it came out and it was bad, and then we watched it, and it was it.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I it's not a terrible movie. I have seen worse movies on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01

The movie we're doing today. It's a movie.

SPEAKER_02

It's a good movie, you know what I mean? Not a good, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But like Shane Black, this guy's he's on an apogee, you know, to the center of the earth.

SPEAKER_02

Don't throw Shane Black in it, okay? Leave him alone. He's trying. He's doing his best.

SPEAKER_01

You know what I'm gonna title the uh you know what I'm gonna title the title. I I think I'm gonna title it last rights for Shane Black, or is this the last we'll see of Shane Black? I think it's is this the last we'll see of Shane Black question mark.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. And it might be it's hard to be sure.

SPEAKER_01

My favorite part of our of the one talking about play dirty was you talking about how old the composer was.

SPEAKER_02

I looked at that picture. I was like, that guy's dead 20 years ago, if you look at him. Good for him.

SPEAKER_01

And some some creative people, myself included, just get more creative as we get older. Sure.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know if I'm in that camp.

SPEAKER_01

Then there's other people that you're just like, okay.

SPEAKER_02

I peaked in my 20s and I'm just on a downward slope, you know.

SPEAKER_01

I I mean it's a little too soon to say this, but we're gonna watch Spinal Tap 2 at some point.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, Rob Reiner, you know. We'll probably give it another year, but we're gonna do it at some point.

SPEAKER_02

Give it some space to breathe.

SPEAKER_01

I have to think it's not gonna be good.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, I've only the only person that I have heard talk about it is you. That's not a great sign. Nobody else in my life has ever even mentioned it. So that's not a great start. And say what you will about Zoolander too.

SPEAKER_01

That's I'll say a lot of things about scene where he escapes from the prison. That was some funny shit. That's that was a funny fucking you hated it, but I I thought that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. That made me go.

SPEAKER_02

And that's that's all that matters, you know? Just have fun with it.

SPEAKER_01

And there are definitely people online that are that love this in the Blink of the Eye movie. I don't know if they're all bots. Who knows? Maybe they're real people, but they say I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02

Here's here's my top level. I didn't hate this movie. I found this movie so boring for a while. I'm not gonna lie to you. One of my notes is just this is the most bored I've ever been. But I it's not I didn't think it was a terrible movie. It doesn't, I think that it thinks it's giving you some grand message of some sort, and it's not, it's definitely not, but I wasn't I didn't watch this and think, well, this is a terrible film. I just wanted something to happen, you know, and maybe that's just me expecting things to happen in a movie. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

And you know, that's how we differ. You know, you didn't expect something like that. Oh no, I hate this movie. I really I hate the guy that wrote it. I hate Andrew Stanton, I hate the changes that they made from the script to this movie. I thought the script was stupid because I read a fair amount of the script. How did you do that? Because I'm magic.

SPEAKER_02

You're magical.

SPEAKER_01

This movie was on the blacklist.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, should have stayed there.

SPEAKER_01

And and what year was it on the blacklist? 2016.

SPEAKER_02

When did Cloud Atlas come out? That's that's what I need to know right now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you just pull your money from this movie once cloud atlas has been made. Yeah, you're just like, oh yeah. 2012.

SPEAKER_02

So it came out 2012. Someone saw it and was like, I've got an idea that's kind of similar, but far worse. I could write that. Good for you, man.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so the so this is on the blacklist 2016. They, you know, they were gonna make it, and then of course, COVID happened, and then they did this, and then I think they finished it in 2023, and then they put it on a shelf because of how badly it stunk, and then they slid it out onto streaming. Yeah, what was that one? Chaos walking? Was that that's this is very chaos walking out of the couple of things?

SPEAKER_02

Chaos walking, Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_01

Spider-Man. They're married together. They got married.

SPEAKER_02

Spider-Man or Zendia.

Three Timelines And No Clear Point

SPEAKER_01

Spider-Man and Zendaya. Spider-Man and Spider-Man and they got married together. Um so this movie, um, three plot lines. One is cavemen who Neanderthals.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

You know, I I wouldn't call them Neanderthals. I would call them Meanderthals.

SPEAKER_02

Meandrothals. Hey oh, that's wordplay for you, folks.

SPEAKER_01

Um, because their plot is just like uh baby dies, wife dies, we join the Crow Magnons, and that's it.

SPEAKER_02

And then they have a baby, and then everyone's happy. Uh he invented music. He solely invented music all by himself, spread that to the new world. Good for him. That's huge. I mean, that's great.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, then the second one is Rashida Jones and this guy Greg.

SPEAKER_02

They sort of have a long distance relationship.

SPEAKER_01

Love, they have a kid.

SPEAKER_02

Not really.

SPEAKER_01

And that was oh, spoilers, and then the kid uh invents Cures everything. Cures dying.

SPEAKER_02

Cures dying. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And the third one is Kate McKinnon in a spaceship with an AI computer, have to go to another world to reseed humanity.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah. And why? Why are any of these three in the same movie?

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Number one. Okay, yeah. Tom, break it down. The script. Those of us that have read the script.

SPEAKER_00

Uh those of us who read the blacklist script here. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01

There's a line at the end of the movie that's basically once you institute a long life treatment, uh, the non-treated people get very angry with the treated people and they destroy the world. Of course. So that's what this is about.

SPEAKER_02

Isn't there a movie about that with Matt Damon? Isn't that what that one movie's about? Like where they the rich people live like up in a thing and they cure all the disease. Elysium, and then he's down there and he's fighting people. That's what that movie's about. I think he has a sick sick daughter or something. I'm sure he does. Um did we do that for this podcast? I can't. We did not do Elysium.

SPEAKER_01

Elysium is the follow-up to the District 9?

SPEAKER_02

District 9, yeah. Which is fun.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Um, um, yes.

SPEAKER_02

But here's the thing is that's not what this movie's about. What's it what's this movie about? So that's the question, really. I literally I I walked away from this, I was like, that was about nothing. There were three completely separate, boring stories of people just doing regular shit for 90 minutes. And I was like, what is the point of any of this? And then I just went on with my life. That was it.

SPEAKER_01

I've sat here and thought about this movie for a fair amount of time of trying to trying to parse what what you know in the blink of an eye, right? That's the title of the movie, right? So this should should offer us some clues, right?

SPEAKER_02

It should.

SPEAKER_01

When he goes from the first transition from the the cavemen to the present day, he says, and in the blink of an eye, or the present day.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. Sure.

SPEAKER_01

So the title of your movie is about the transitions in the movie.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Or it can be that our lives seemingly long to us, are basically cosmically just in the blink of an eye.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. And that's what I expected the movie to be about, but that's not about that. It's not about that, Dan. I watched the movie, it's not about that. The close, I just I don't there's a line in the movie, I don't it's I think it's Rashida Jones is saying it, and she's like, Well, you know, you don't want to live forever. The whole point, what makes it worthwhile is dying or some bullshit like that. I and I just strongly disagree with that conceit, right? That that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's death is not what gives life meaning. Okay, fuck you. Not at all. Um, and then she just dies, and I was like, okay, who cares? I'm not, I don't care about any of you people. I'm not interested in anything you've ever done. The only interesting person in the whole movie is the son who cures everything. And I'm like, well, let's look, let's talk about this guy for a while. That's pretty cool. He's in it for 30 seconds, and then we're done. And Kate McKinnon is one of the people that gets to live a really long time, but we don't we don't talk about that almost at all.

SPEAKER_01

She doesn't come to how she doesn't come to terms with it at all. Doesn't, doesn't, doesn't she, she's okay. Well we'll we're gonna talk about the script some more. Okay. Okay, good. Okay, wait, hold on. Okay, let's let's go back to what you said. In the script, Rashida Jones gets old and gets a bit dementia-y, so they eventually put the drip in her IV and kill her.

Script Changes And The Blacklist Origin

SPEAKER_02

Wow, that's darker than what happens here. But you do see when her son comes, she's like, oh, Greg or whatever. But she's totally cool with it. No one is there's no moment where people are like, Oh, we're getting we're getting to the point where we're gonna have to murder her. There's never any of that. It's almost laughed off. It's almost like, oh ma, you're so funny.

SPEAKER_01

Also in the script, at the end, we have more David stuff, and we actually get to the end where David and his husband are standing there. David's in the bed, and his husband is standing, and we kill off David too.

SPEAKER_02

Great.

SPEAKER_01

So there's a there's a lot of this movie has a lot of scenes of people kind of being at the point of death. Well, we we kill off Rashida Jones's mother too. Were you yeah, did you know when her mother had died in this movie?

SPEAKER_02

Well, she tells us at some point because they take over the house. And that was my first clue.

SPEAKER_01

And why does she the mother supposedly is dead, and she still is doesn't go, she just like if never goes back to school. She doesn't go back to why did she why does she have to sit in her mother's house alone? I don't understand that for one second.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. Would you maybe she's just really sad about it, you know, and she just can't leave the house. She's house ridden.

SPEAKER_01

She has no friends.

SPEAKER_02

Well, no, but to be fair, she didn't seem all that cool, so I wouldn't be her friend either. It's not a great character. So if that's fitting to me.

SPEAKER_01

So wait, hold on. So your assessment is she's not friend material, hence the movie doesn't need to show that she has any friends.

SPEAKER_02

100%. Because we all get it. We're like, yeah, I wouldn't hang out with her either. She goes to a party at one point with a bunch of people, and she is a dud. She just kind of is like uh and then she leaves. That's it. She's done. Why does Greg fall in love with her? Not a clue. Um because she's kind of mean to him. Maybe that's what he likes. Because you know, some of us like it when girls are mean to them, you know.

SPEAKER_01

But you see, Tony, Tony, you like it when someone's actively mean to you.

SPEAKER_00

Correct. That's true. Yeah, you're right about that.

SPEAKER_01

You don't, you don't want a person that wants somebody to be mean to them, doesn't want somebody passive aggressive.

SPEAKER_02

Or to like half ignore them half the time. Like, that's not fun. Like, come at me, and then we'll, you know, we'll spar a little. That's fun. That's sexy. Uh, but if I'm texting you, you're just like, I'm not gonna answer. I'm just gonna leave you on read. Then it's like, okay, cool, I'm out, I'll move up.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

I have no idea, dear. That's the short answer. I don't know why Greg likes her ever. So it wasn't a love story. Of course it's not a love story. Between who? Between those people?

SPEAKER_01

Between those two, yes.

SPEAKER_02

No, definitely not. That doesn't matter at all to the blinking of the eyes. That's not a thing. Has something to do with love. Doesn't really have anything to do with like growing up. I don't know what it's about. Did they even seem to like each other? He does seem to like her.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, he does seem to like her for some for some unknowable reason.

SPEAKER_02

Never seems to like him. She it kind of feels like maybe she's maybe here it is, because she's 50, right? She's old. So she's got to get these babies out, A-S-A-P.

SPEAKER_01

You mean Rashida's like a 50-year-old woman? Is that what you're saying? Yes, like when she's supposed to be young doing her doctoral work. Exactly. You're like not looking at her going, she's 35. You're like, she's a 50-year-old woman.

SPEAKER_02

You looking at her and being like, Well, that woman's 35 because you're not, because you're not crazy, you're not blind, and you're not stupid. You look at her, you're like, Yeah, she's a middle-aged woman. She's got to pop out some babies if she wants them. And that's what she wants. So maybe she's just using them to get the babies. And now she's got a super smart baby. It worked out.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it's really true because like her mom, she, you know, looked like maybe a 70-year-old woman.

SPEAKER_02

100%. She's 50. I don't I don't care what you say. She's 50 when she's going to school. I don't know what's going on. Maybe she, you know, took a few years off to travel Europe. I don't know, but she's old.

SPEAKER_01

But she doesn't have any kind of cachet. She's like a 50-year-old undergrad.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's correct. She's not doing great. You know, it's hard. Life's hard out there.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Um, let me see if I have one last question. Um, what about the relationship between Kate McKinnon and the and the the the AI?

SPEAKER_02

Well, they don't really have one. So it doesn't really matter. She when she turns her off, Kate McKinnon says, You were my only friend. I was like, sh yeah, by default, you didn't ever enjoy each other's company. You never had like a weird relationship. It's not like it's not like anyone felt anything.

SPEAKER_01

Nobody has a real relationship in this movie. They're all just sort of stuck together.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and maybe that's what it's about, you know? Like life sucks. You get stuck with people you don't care about, and then you die. There's the movie. What a treat. People would love this. Let's make it so stupid.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it's really true, isn't it? It's like, you know, we went and did groundlings, and that's where Tony and I met and fell in love.

SPEAKER_02

Fell in love, yep, that's right.

SPEAKER_01

And it's like I, you know, it's like I like to spend time with Tony because it's funny. Because he look at him, he's funny. Just visually.

SPEAKER_02

Nothing I do is funny, but visually, every time I get to see you, I'll laugh about it. It's a real treat. Thanks, Dan. Unbelievable this guy.

SPEAKER_01

Tony's like, I gotta throw bone to this old guy.

SPEAKER_02

He's gonna pass soon. He needs something to do for a few years, you know.

SPEAKER_01

I'll be there to let him down easily. Uh oh, this is a funny movie.

SPEAKER_02

Uh this is not a funny movie, Dan. There's maybe two jokes in the whole movie. Okay, we start the movie.

SPEAKER_01

Let's start the movie, Tony.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, let's start this movie.

SPEAKER_01

And by the way, I have a lot more stuff from the script.

SPEAKER_02

Did you print out the scripts? That would have been amazing.

SPEAKER_01

That's what I did. I read all the future parts to see what they changed, and they made a lot of changes.

SPEAKER_02

Not a lot of changes.

SPEAKER_01

I believe in, but they changed very important things.

SPEAKER_02

Some fundamental stuff. Yeah, okay.

The Acorn Thread That Goes Nowhere

SPEAKER_01

The cavemen stuff looked pretty much the same, and there's you couldn't pay me enough money to read the Claire stuff, because the Claire part just was horrible. I really dislike that woman. Um so we start off, and basically we just do, you know, DNA strand, turns into cellular life, turns into creatures, turns into plants, turns into a crab, turns into tide pool, and here come the cavemen. Now, there's the subplot of the acorn. Okay, they they their toys pretty wild, but their toy is an acorn, and they kind of put the acorn and they have the acorn, and the acorn's kind of their thing. And then Claire, who's who's an anthropologist, her big break is by uh dissecting or the uh by digging through these caveman bones, the caveman is holding the acorn. So she pulls the acorn out, and so we immediately think, oh, okay, acorn, she finds the acorn, then in the future, Kate McKinnon is going to have to use the acorn to save humanity, right? That's what we think.

SPEAKER_02

Or something completely different. Well, they stole it. Uh the modern day people steal a very important discovery to humanity and they bronze it, I think. They coated it in metal of some sort, and then wear it around their necks. Uh and then pass it along. Like, hey, this. This is a fun heirloom that's not worth anything. Enjoy yourself.

SPEAKER_01

And for some reason, on the spacecraft, it has like its own special acorn drawer.

SPEAKER_02

It's got its own case. I don't know why. Um, it doesn't do anything. And then she and then Kate McKinnon just gives it to one of her daughters, which is weird because she's gonna outlive her. Very confusing stuff, Dan. I don't know. So you didn't see the thread of the acorn being like important about I didn't see any threads. Did you see threads? I was waiting to figure out why her plants were sick. No, she don't they don't figure that out. We don't find that out. Doesn't that seem like it should be important? No, I mean What do you mean? No, the AI is like, well, it's impossible for them to be sick. So it's a mystery that we need to solve, or fuck it. We don't need to talk about it. The fact that the plants are sick seems relevant since that's what's going to be uh going on to the new plants. Well, but she she got rid of the sick plants, she exploded, expunged them. And then the next ones were just fine forever. Well, she started back to seed. Right. But something happened to the first ones, which is probably gonna happen to the second ones. And then humanity's doomed.

SPEAKER_01

That's what they did in the Martian. You know, the Martian was about doing science. Ah, Matt Damon. You can't do another movie about science.

SPEAKER_02

This movie has to be about nothing. Not science. Be less scientific, please.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, we also start with a Sylvia Plath quote.

SPEAKER_02

Right. Remember, remember now is now or I don't care. I don't care.

SPEAKER_01

Uh we meet the Neanderthal family, dad, mom, child, female teenager. I thought it was a boy teenager, but it turns out to be a female teenager.

SPEAKER_02

So let's see here. Where does my note for that coming? I have a note when she has a baby, and I go, wait, that's a woman. They should have given her like give her a little eye treatment.

SPEAKER_01

I should have done something.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, listen, I it it doesn't really matter, I guess, but it it took me by surprise.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they could have maybe had her they could have had her do the cooking.

SPEAKER_02

Sure, or anything. Kid doesn't really do anything, to be honest with you.

SPEAKER_01

It is amazing, you know. I there was once this show, like a PBS show where they made these people be like uh settlers in the in the on the on the plains, you know, like sort of colonial settlers like that. I watched back when you used to have TV reality shows that were kind of about interesting subjects and you'd see stuff.

SPEAKER_02

Now you don't have to mean like now, Love Island. Yeah, got it. I I know exactly what you're talking about, dude.

SPEAKER_01

And the people were just like, we had to all work 24-7, as did our children, the entire time we were out there just to survive. And to imagine that like the one kid can like is never is never digging clams, is never doing this, is never just like smoking it, you know, whatever. Okay, those are our people Thorn, Hera, Lark, and a baby, and Eb, uh another baby on the way.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

How would you know because she rubs her belly over and over, which is the cardinal sign that someone's pregnant. So don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_01

And not obese.

SPEAKER_02

Um never rub my tummy. You know what I mean? Never do it.

SPEAKER_01

I'll rub it. Um, and then we get to see them getting it on in the cave.

SPEAKER_02

Oh getting it on, which is, you know, you can barely afford the two kids you already got, guy. Calm down. You gotta relax.

SPEAKER_01

She's pregnant.

SPEAKER_02

That's true. I guess you can't get double pregnant. That's that's not how science works.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, now we meet Claire.

SPEAKER_02

She's great tran great sexual transition here, where it's the cave people doing it, and the modern-day people kind of not doing it because she's not in the mood.

SPEAKER_01

She brings home Greg from a party, they're kind of drunk, but she can't get it on. So she's she's I wrote, she's a dick. I have to work. She kicks him out and then uh and then uh gets busy with herself.

SPEAKER_02

I will say that this is one of the jokes that I laughed at, which is just the lower thirds, the names that they give. They give her name, which I don't remember, and then his Chiron is Greg dot dot dot from statistics question mark. And I was like, that's pretty funny. Just like because he's just a random guy. But then it turns out he's not a random guy. He's gonna be her husband for the next 50 years, and it's very weird, but that's fine.

Space Mission Logic And Plant Mystery

SPEAKER_01

The buzzing of her uh machine to give herself pleasure transitions into the buzzing of the alarm on the spaceship. It's 20 24 17. We meet Coakley, played by uh what's her name?

SPEAKER_02

Kate McKinnon.

SPEAKER_01

Kate McKinnon. Ah, I thought she was gonna bug me. She was okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, she was fine. She was actually worse than I expected because I really like Kate McKinnon. And I was kind of like, oh.

SPEAKER_01

She was she was it's fine. Yeah. Totally fine.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, totally fine.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you can't, I would not put any of the blame on her.

SPEAKER_02

No, no, for sure not.

SPEAKER_01

So what we'd say is it's 2417. They've been flying for how long have they been flying for, Tony?

SPEAKER_02

A hundred years, sixty years? 210 years. I was way off. Okay. And how long do they have to go? Is this one a hundred years? I thought one of them was a hundred years. 123 years.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So we're immediately we're immediately confronted with it's a woman and an AI, and this is a 304, 333, 333-year mission. Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Here's what I will say is that if you've been with this AI for 200 years, you should probably have more of a rapport.

SPEAKER_01

You wouldn't have to be telling the AI what information you want when you wake up. The AI should probably be like.

SPEAKER_02

That's the whole point of AI, right? The whole point of these AI assistants that we're coming up with. Um they're supposed to like know what you want before you want it so they can do shit for you.

SPEAKER_01

Did you hear about the one guy, the guy that killed that that uh killed himself over his AI? Did you hear did you read about that one?

SPEAKER_02

No, what? No.

SPEAKER_01

So the guy's in love, you know, he falls in love with his AI, you know, leaves the wife or girlfriend or whatever.

SPEAKER_02

The AI, the AI You're brushing over a very what? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

All sorts of people fall in love with fall in love.

SPEAKER_01

What do you mean you can't fall in love? You can fall in love with anything.

SPEAKER_02

There's ladies that you can't fall in love with AI. AI's not a okay. Continue. What do you mean? You already lost me, but continue.

SPEAKER_01

I gotta send you the thing about the the people that are in love with inanimate objects, people that have sexual relationships with Eiffel Tower. I haven't seen that tower. I've talked about that. Carnival rides, the woman that like gets busy, gets busy like looking at the Ferris wheel, like, oh, oh, oh yeah. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

It's the greatest, it's the greatest documentary of that time.

SPEAKER_02

I don't want to judge people. I don't want to be that guy, but it that's it's all pretty weird.

SPEAKER_01

There are lots of people out there that are having parasocial relationships with AIs, and then what they'll do is they'll go from AI four to AI five, and then their girlfriend's like whoops, gone, and they they lose their minds. So this this guy's AI was sending him on secret missions to do stuff, and then eventually the AI like got him to kill himself. He killed himself. AI is weird. Well, it it you know it's it's self it's reinforcing behavior, right? So if if you've got some issues, yeah, it's yeah, that's yeah, I get that lead you on the trail to to you know yeah, because it doesn't think like critically and is like, hey, you probably shouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_02

It's probably more just like, well, if you gotta do it, this is how you should do it. It's uh it's messed up.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so be careful with your AI relationships.

SPEAKER_02

That's why my AI just helps me with like coding or math problems, you know, that sort of thing. Keep it simple.

SPEAKER_01

Keep it simple. Okay, so okay, so 210 years to go. No, wait, hunt they're out 210 years, 123 years to go in the script. Yeah, they were out 987 days, and they had 109 days to go.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, why is that makes way more sense, right? That's just like a couple of years.

SPEAKER_01

Not from a speed of light standpoint, but from the standpoint of a script, yes, makes a lot more sense.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. Sure, sure, sure. I don't know uh what speed, I don't know the light speeds, you know. Yeah, uh ludicrous speed, that seems pretty good.

SPEAKER_01

We're not gonna get anywhere in a couple hundred days, in a thousand days.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

You're not gonna get anywhere.

SPEAKER_02

I've seen space balls, and they get places really fast. That's all I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_01

There it is. Space balls. Um okay, so that's that's first our sort of setup with her. And so immediately we're like, well, either we're having a thing where we we rotate through people, you know, you have people frozen in cryogenics, blah, blah, blah, whatever. But it seems like she's gonna be a robot, right? Is do you think she was gonna be a robot?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, she's gonna be a robot, but she's not, she just, you know, the the scientific thing means she gets to live forever because they changed her DNA. Right. Also, they never mentioned this in the movie, but they sent out 22 of these things all over the place as opposed to her being the one the only one.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and and that makes more sense.

SPEAKER_01

This movie really works to not have any stakes. It's like whenever you think there might be some stakes, it's like, nope, we're not gonna we're not gonna let you even begin to think that these might be the stakes of the movie. Yeah. And so we just we're less and less, you know, and by not telling us Kate McKinnon is a robot, but we also set up that the AI is not a, you know, it's not a generative AI, it is a full AI. It's a thinking person that has thinks and thoughts and cares and feelings.

SPEAKER_02

100%.

SPEAKER_01

Did you say that the AI was a plant?

SPEAKER_02

What do you mean? Like a plant is in like one of the plants on the shelves. Oh, interesting.

SPEAKER_01

Because at one point she kind of fondles one of the plants and she says something, and it seemed like she was saying that the AI was that.

SPEAKER_02

You didn't care about it I didn't pick up on it, but she does fondle the plant a little bit.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, here we go. The cavemen, tide pools, Thorn falls down, hurts his back. Turns out they just have to give him some medicine, he gets better.

unknown

You know.

SPEAKER_02

Well, she like cuts his lung open or something and releases some pressure. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Did she release some pressure? Is that what it was? I thought she was just gonna. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. It's hard to tell.

SPEAKER_02

I don't I don't know anything about medicine, so I'm not the one to ask here.

AI Relationships And Real-World Warnings

SPEAKER_01

There it is. Uh Claire is examining these bones. Claire talks to her mom, says it's a new job. She might cure cancer, she says. Uh she goes home, hits the wine. Yeah. Don't hit the wine. You know. Shannon had an aunt who died of the wine, of hitting the wine. Really? Wine's dangerous. Wine is just as dangerous. People think it's like the casual alcohol. It's not. It will kill you if you wind up every day.

SPEAKER_02

I thought uh I thought like red wine a day was good or something, right?

SPEAKER_01

Something like that. I mean, maybe maybe like half a glass once a day.

SPEAKER_02

That would be a little bit just a little sip-sip.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, Claire and the bones talks to mom. Coakley's doing repairs, she has lunch, the AI worries about her. Um, and now we find out that there's something going wrong with the plants. In the script, it's not the plants, it's a water or something. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

So I feel like that makes more sense. The plants is weird to me.

SPEAKER_01

In the script, she turns the whole ship into a swamp.

SPEAKER_02

That's interesting.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So we'll get back to that. How this is all very different.

SPEAKER_02

Um, again, I'm just, and we don't have to belabor the point, but to me, introducing a disease in the plants that is quote unquote impossible is a huge thing.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I see. So you were like, you're not you've got to fix this somehow.

SPEAKER_02

Right. I'm like, oh, you guys are fucked. You guys like we're done. Humanity's done. That's how this is gonna end. Is like humanity is done. But then they're just like, nah, the next plants are fine. Whatever happened to the first plants doesn't matter. It was only 40 minutes of the movie. Don't worry about it. We're not gonna answer it, we're not gonna talk about it. The new plants are fine. No, that's dumb.

SPEAKER_01

Um, okay, Claire is ignoring her mom. She calls her mom back, and we're learning, and then she's, you know, then we have huge music. What do you think of the music in this movie? It's very bombastic, very things are happening, and then nothing's happening.

SPEAKER_02

But things aren't really happening. And that's so to me, it it confuses me a little bit because whenever you hear that music, your brain, without even like knowing, like subconsciously, you're like, oh shit, oh shit, we're doing, but nothing happens ever. So I'm all on this roller coaster of like waiting for something to happen and then nothing happens, and then I'm just bored. Um, boom, boom. So music is nice though. In a different movie, I actually think it would be great.

SPEAKER_01

If it should have had this guy's score uh play dirty. Would have helped. Would've helped.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, you're right about that.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so mom's dying. Uh Coakley is sad because the plants aren't doing well. Claire goes to the party, uh hooks up with Greg again, I think, has sex with her.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, they just leave together and go do it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. But she's got to leave to go to Vancouver, and he's all like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02

Um I guess we'll just stay together, which is weird.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not gonna really talk about the cavemen.

SPEAKER_02

Why? I feel like it's very important, you know. Everyone gets sick and then most of them get better, but or well, only one gets better. The dad gets better. I'll just mention everybody else dies.

SPEAKER_01

The dad's cough is getting worse. There it is. That's what happened with the cavemen.

SPEAKER_02

Um, but then it gets better.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And then the other people die.

SPEAKER_01

Claire gets to gets to Vancouver, goes to the house, meets some random woman who we don't know who she is, and she says, I feel powerless, and this woman doesn't really interact with her. We don't know who it is. We never see this woman again. We don't understand why this scene is here.

SPEAKER_02

100%. I feel that way about a lot of scenes.

SPEAKER_01

Do you want to talk about Coakley's outfit? Her clothes.

SPEAKER_02

Um, is it just like a white suit?

SPEAKER_01

I don't even remember. She's wearing like the green suit that has like this weird pad, weird padding on one arm.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. So, you know, if you're getting shot at, you just shield with your right shoulder.

SPEAKER_01

I'm being shot at shoulder. Okay. That's right. That's yeah, you can't do that. That's why that's why she's wearing this. So the computer works out that the plants are dying and they they can only lose six percent of the plants. And how many of the plants have they lost at this point, Tony?

SPEAKER_02

Five percent already. Which is a lot of percent. If you can only lose six percent, losing five, you should be warning people way before five percent, is all I'm saying. Like, six percent is not a lot, you're already at 99% of what you can lose. That's at 2%, I'm panicking. 3%, we're at full-blown uh we're done. We're fucked. We got to figure out something else. Five out of six percent is a lot to first be worried about it.

SPEAKER_01

Uh um uh they uh the the cavemen operate on each other, so that was weird. Um now Claire is is with her mom, her mom who has no speaking lines, who's we don't get anywhere near her face. We don't see her as a silhouette in the distance. Here we are at chemo. The mom's in like a chemo, I think it's chemo. She's mom's in a chemo chair. Claire's sitting next to her. Claire is so beyond disinterested being anywhere near her piece of shit mom. Yeah, she wants to be reading a magazine, but she can't even read a magazine because she hates being in the situation.

SPEAKER_02

She looks close proximity. Yeah. What the what the fuck is happening, Tony? Well, I'll tell you about. So the mom was abusive, right? But we don't need to talk about it. But she was a terrible woman, probably cheated on the dad a bunch of times until the dad finally left. Um, and so they just have a lot of animosity toward each other, but it's family, so you gotta go when they're dying. Was that in the script, Dan?

SPEAKER_01

I I didn't read like I said, I didn't read any of the clear stuff in the script. I'm just like, that's your mom dying. Like, can can some heck I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I don't want to I will I will say this. I was more upset just thinking about that situation than she was living that situation at the time. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01

So weird. It's like it's bad. It's not good. Like, you gotta set that up, right? Don't you gotta set up that she's a bad mom as opposed to the first time we interact with the mom is her like treating the mom like she's ignoring her?

SPEAKER_02

Like well, she also ignored her calls, if you remember that. So that was like clue number one. But we don't talk about it, we don't talk about it at all. So there's no answers.

The Movie’s Death Theme And No Payoff

SPEAKER_01

Isn't it better in storytelling to sort of lead the audience somewhere as opposed to No, I so I think you need to gloss over things, don't don't belabor anything.

SPEAKER_02

Just I I think you're being flippant, don't you?

SPEAKER_01

I don't think this is really how you feel. What?

SPEAKER_02

Me? Oh, no way, no way. This movie's perfect, though.

SPEAKER_01

So oh god. Um then she talks to Greg on her phone. She has her, I mean, on her computer, and she has her computer on her bed, and she's like, This is the first time a boy's ever been on my bed. You're like, what?

SPEAKER_02

What are you talking about? She also has like that, and I we don't need to talk about too much, but the first time that they do it, she was basically saying, like, this is the first time I've had an orgasm, I think, with a man and not by myself, which is fine, but you're 50. So that's very sad to me.

SPEAKER_01

Wow, you are you're going full age. Um, hold on. Sorry. See, this is this is what I wanted to do with the beginning. I wanted to set up this whole episode like a debate.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay. We didn't do that.

SPEAKER_01

You would be the one having to defend the movie. I would be the one attacking the movie. Okay. We can start over. Wouldn't that have been a lot of fun?

SPEAKER_02

That would have been great. That's that's a fun like way to do it. We should let's just do that from here on. We'll pick sides and then we'll just go. We'll be like lawyers.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay. Coakley's has to explain thinking to oh, they do a whole thing with her talking Coakley talking to Roscoe the computer. Why is the computer named Roscoe it's a terrible name?

SPEAKER_02

Because the chicken and waffles, delicious.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that is true. Um, yeah, okay. Uh and then the cavemen, their baby dies. Okay, and they bury the baby, and then they mark a handprint on the wall to show that the baby was there.

SPEAKER_02

And the mom is just like really upset. She's really upset about it. Probably the best acting in the entire movie. Oh, really? And that's not this is not me joking. Oh, like she is she is going for it. She's shot and like drool, and I was like, You are the only person trying in this whole movie, lady, and I don't even know who you are. So kudos to whoever played the mom for a little bit. Good for you.

SPEAKER_01

She's stuck in the cave, stuck in the caveman plot, like you know, years later. It's tough. You were in Andrew Stanton director. Yeah, I was a cave woman. Sorry. Sorry. Claire goes back to work, but then of course her mom's having problems, so she has to go back. Of course. She has to leave her fellowship and to go take care. She says to take care of her mom.

SPEAKER_02

But she sure doesn't.

SPEAKER_01

We don't ever see one second of her having you know, like unless she means kill her mom.

SPEAKER_02

Like mafia style. Like, I gotta go take care of this.

SPEAKER_01

You know.

SPEAKER_02

Be back in a week.

SPEAKER_01

Taking care of people and that whole sort of situation is such a big thing, an important thing. And you know, it's a thing a a lot of people have to go through in life. And this movie is just like, well, we'll mention it, but we won't show it or we won't deal with it. And this character doesn't have anything, and it doesn't matter.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

That is correct. Nothing matters, to be fair.

SPEAKER_01

Um, the secret formula they made to save the plants fails. So we we have uh so basically we have to we're we're gonna we're heading towards a decision, right? In this big ship, they're gonna have to make another greenhouse. Well, either K McKinney can kill herself or the computer can kill itself. One of them has to kill itself to save air.

SPEAKER_02

But killing the AI doesn't save on air. Well killing the AI just gives her the room for the green room. I guess. So I what I don't understand is she's like, okay, we could just start over with the plants, and the AI is like, no, you can't, because it'll take two years to grow. So are they just leaving those plants slowly dwindling as the new plants grow for two years? Like, what is the math on that?

SPEAKER_00

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't understand the plan.

SPEAKER_01

That's what I'm gonna say. So the computer does a thing where she's all like, Well, figure out if I should kill myself or you should kill yourself. And then they go through a whole process where the computer says, Well, it's better to keep you alive. And and it turns out it's like 49.9% to 50.1%. And she's all like, Let me see that math, let me see that math. You're like, like you can comprehend the math that the computer does.

SPEAKER_02

Right, like there's just millions and millions of variables. You're not gonna uh so dumb.

SPEAKER_01

And then what the computer finally admits is that there's a thing about humans being lucky, and that's magic, and a computer can't do that.

SPEAKER_02

Which isn't what we've learned about humans throughout the rest of the movie.

SPEAKER_01

No, and we don't see it here either.

SPEAKER_02

Humans destroy themselves.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know what I mean? And that's and that's a great point because to me that sets up something like something's gonna happen, and she has to, you know, do some sort of human thing that a computer couldn't do to save the thing, but instead she just puts embryos in a microwave and they keep dying, and then just one happens.

Stakes Get Dodged At Every Turn

SPEAKER_01

More importantly, she that when we're having this interchange, Kate McKinnon says, Well, you can do everything that I can do with your bots, right? She sort of sets up that there's like these magic robots somewhere that are going to be able to take the embryo and then move it and put it into the incubator, which we don't we don't ever see anything, we don't see anything like that. We don't feel like that in the script. Oh boy, the issue is that they have to make they have to turn the whole ship into a swamp, and the computer's like, I can't let you do that because uh it could fuck up the systems and ruin the whole mission. And so Kate McKinnon has to turn the computer off in order to do it.

SPEAKER_02

Because the computer will stop her from doing it. Yes, the comp that makes so much more sense. I mean, I don't understand the swamp part of it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01

You know, you know why it makes more sense and why they didn't do it? No. Because it would have meant something.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Because she has to make a choice that's like, I'm gonna put this in danger because it might be the only way to do it. And because that's actually almost what the the AI is saying is like humans have this innate ability to do it. Like, that is the thing that she has to do. That's interesting. So instead of doing the thing, the computer's like, you might have to do something at some point that they did in the scrother script, but we're not gonna do it here. That's interesting. That's that's a weird thing to do.

SPEAKER_01

Isn't that a terrible choice? But I bet you they didn't want to do it because then they'd have to make the swamp in the ship, which would be cool.

SPEAKER_02

You gotta build, you gotta build a whole set with swamp stuff. I mean, it sounds tough. It sounds really hard, Dan. Talk to me about the ship. Um, it looks like it's plastic, number one. I so this whole time we were watching her, I did uh a movie back in Minnesota. This is like 30 years ago, where these these kids built a spaceship in a warehouse. And you know, it's just it's wood and paint and PVC pipes.

SPEAKER_01

You mean the prop to be shown in the movie is built this way, or the movie is about these kids building this in a warehouse?

SPEAKER_02

The prop in the movie, so it all takes place in a spaceship, and they built out like these kids self-funded, built their own spaceship, so like all the pipes, it's just like PVC piped, it's like painted, and you know, it's all wood, and it looked, I swear to god, it looked better than this ship, Dan. I was maybe it's my mind playing tricks because it's been a long time, but I remember walking in on that and being like, holy shit guys, this looks legit. And this entire time I was watching, I was like, this looks stupid. This looks terrible. So I don't know. Who knows?

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. Um, we do another, we come back to Claire, we do another call. She's like, she this I think the mom is dead at this point. I think.

SPEAKER_02

You think, yeah, I I don't know. And she's like, she might be.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not coming back in. You're always busy. That's what she says to him.

SPEAKER_02

You're always busy.

SPEAKER_01

We've not said up for one second that Greg is ever, you know. She calls Greg at the middle of the night and he wakes up and he's all like, Yeah, I'm here for your babe. He's never acted like he's over, you know, at one point put her off for a microsecond.

unknown

Nope.

SPEAKER_02

Nope, he is bending over backwards for this woman.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

He likes older women, what can I say?

SPEAKER_01

So Coakley's gonna go, she's gonna the computer tells her how to turn itself off. She goes inside this room, and there's all these bubbling, all these bubblings. And Coakley's like, is this gonna hurt you? Tony, would you ask the computer if this is gonna hurt you?

SPEAKER_02

No, it's a computer. But what's even stranger is the computer's response to me. What was it? Do you remember what the computer says? Take care of the children? That's what I wrote. Well, sure, after that. But so a direct answer to this question, there's a pause, and the computer goes, no. As if like the computer had to think about it. And I was like, What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01

What is going on right now? He has to work all the numbers, you know, about how to calculate my nerve sensors here.

SPEAKER_02

Hmm. Manipulator. It's gonna hurt a lot. I wouldn't do it.

SPEAKER_01

So she she pulls the thing, turns it off, you know. You are my only friend, and then she cries, and we feel nothing.

SPEAKER_02

Nothing. Yeah, absolutely nothing. I would love to feel something right now. This is a perfect moment for me to feel like she's losing something important.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean, ostensibly, this is because the mother and her death, that means nothing. Greg and the relationship, you know, sort of nothing. This has to be the relationship. Like the the whole thing. Have you ever seen the movie 2001?

SPEAKER_02

I haven't seen 2001 since 1987. You know what I mean? I'm making all those numbers up. Um, but no, I haven't seen it since high school, probably.

SPEAKER_01

He he goes in there and has to shut down Hal. Yeah. And it's weird. It's sure. It is a it is a you know, it's not emotional in the sense that, you know, but it's he's killing this thing, and this thing is like, come on, bro, don't don't kill me.

SPEAKER_02

Don't do it. Don't you do it, please.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I'm dying, my brain's melting. You feel feel for that you're like the computer is a character.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and not only that, but haven't they done like studies on AI even now that it like it wants self-preservation? Like it wants to stay on.

SPEAKER_01

Are you sure? You mean okay, Tony. I'm gonna we're gonna have a Frank talk about AI. Come on, yeah, let's talk about it. They want you to believe about AI is a lie. And why do they want to do that?

SPEAKER_02

To scare me?

SPEAKER_01

No, to kid well, yeah, just to do two things. They want to scare you so that you think you're scared, but they also want you to believe that it is like a person. It's not like a person, it's all it is is a change.

SPEAKER_02

That's so what you're saying is if I played hangman with it, it would beat me.

Humanity, Violence, And Lord Of The Flies

SPEAKER_01

Like we keep having these people that use it for like for the law, right? You know? And it just makes up card cases that that that substantiate its point. All it does is make shit up. Yeah. That's all it can do. And that's why it can be your girlfriend and then send you on missions and then tell you to kill yourself. It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02

What kind of missions? I'm so intrigued by this.

SPEAKER_01

So AI I want to go on a cool mission, you know, like no one's sending me on missions. AI will tell you, well, of course. And the reason why AI will tell you it wants to save itself is because there's so much uh stories out there where the AI wants to save itself. It's like, well, I'm an AI, and all the stories say that I want to save myself. Of course I want to save myself. It's myself. Sure. I'm I'm I'm me. You know, the computer's like, I'm me, but it's not. The computer's just like a machine that's like looking at other things that said, I'm, you know, like, what am I supposed to say? Ah, this is the thing. And then it gauges your reaction and then it moves off of there.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

That's all it is. It's nothing. It's literally nothing. You form your it's you know, it's like having a relationship with you, Tony.

SPEAKER_02

It's nothing. Wow. Wow, I could be in this movie.

SPEAKER_01

Is that what you're saying to me? Uh I I wish you were in this movie. You'd actually like tell a joke or make something happen.

SPEAKER_02

Listen, I if you want to cast me, Cassie, but I don't think I would have liked to be in this movie. I don't think this is a good one.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Uh, we bury the Neanderthal mom. We don't do another handprint. I wrote, We're running out of characters. We're running out of characters. Did Neanderthal invents music? He makes a little bone pipe. He sees another tribe on the beach. They're like another tribe. We better run away. They run away.

SPEAKER_02

Um soon is the least believable part of the movie for me. Continue. What is I think it's the next scene with the Neanderthals, it's like the least believable thing in the world.

SPEAKER_01

Um then Greg starts ghosting Claire for one scene. Did he? I don't even remember that. Yeah, I don't know. All right. Good for Greg. Um, Coakley wakes up, starts building greenhouse number two where the the uh computer was. The cavemen they hit the road, they start running. For some reason, they make like a a thing that they can carry stuff. They don't have anything to carry, but they don't think stuff.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, they don't have a bunch of equipment, do they? It's carrying rocks and stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

They don't have any equipment.

SPEAKER_02

No. No. I yeah, I don't they have this little flute, so maybe that's what's on the little tarp.

SPEAKER_01

Uh she just now she talks to Greg, and then she says, I'm mourning my boyfriend because he's in New Jersey. I love you too much.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Have we seen that? He's well, he says, You love me? Since when? He literally says, Yeah, he's about as surprised as we are. Since when. She's calling him boyfriend and saying she's in love with him. He's just like, what?

SPEAKER_02

Whoa, what took me by surprise, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Um, let's see. Uh they oh wait. So they reach the planet, and then she starts doing the planting, and then uh she says something like the forest is at oh no, the f oh inside there. So the they've got things going inside, and so she starts getting the embryos ready, I guess. Yeah. Um they meet up with the cave people, the the the Homo sapiens, they're not Cro Magnons, the Homo sapiens have the Cro Magnons dead to rights, and they give them beef jerky.

SPEAKER_02

Yep. What they're just gonna be super friendly to an outsider. I don't I just don't believe it. Humans are not like that. I I understand they're not humans. Okay, whatever. I don't understand.

SPEAKER_01

Well, the Homo sapiens are.

SPEAKER_02

Well, yeah, okay, sure. Sure, that's true. So, and if they are, then they wouldn't be very nice, right? They would kill these people. Why? That's what we do. Because they're an outsider, they're not part of their crew, they're not gonna just bring you home to their village, be like, look at these strangers we found. They don't even look like us. We love them. That's just not humans. That's the opposite of what humans do.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I'm gonna tell you something, Tony. Tell me a story. I'm gonna tell you a story. Did you ever read Lord I mean did they make you read Lord of the Flies when you're in uh Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, tell me the story about Did you actually read it or did you not read it?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, I mean I read it. I haven't read it in a long time now, but you know, it's a bunch of asshole kids, and they sh the leader has a conch or some shit and they just kill each other. Kids are kids are the worst. That's the story.

SPEAKER_01

What happens when that really happened? What happened what happened in real life when that really happened?

SPEAKER_02

What do you mean? The Lord of the Flies is based on a real thing? No.

SPEAKER_01

No, but but did the same situation happen in real life? It did.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Bunch of British kids got dumped on an island. Um and you know what happened is they fucking got along great. They fucking did food stores, they were like they like took care of fucking business. Nobody killed each other, they acted as a super team, they stored up food, they made messages, they did everything perfect because they fucking rocked, because human beings-I mean, there's terrible human beings, don't get me wrong. There sure are, there's a lot of them. But human beings, you know, when we drive around, how many people are are driving on the wrong side of the street and you know, flipping everybody the bird? Nobody is. One or two. Yeah, one or two. Everybody drives on the right side of the street. We're not all trying to kill each other. None of us have guns shooting at each other. For the most part, we all get along. We don't have to be a good thing.

SPEAKER_02

For the most part, here's what I will say: there's at least one dead British kid. At least one. There was one kid that everyone was like, This guy sucks. And you'll never find the bones. Okay, they melted that shit down, they got rid of him. Good, but there's at least one missing. That's all I'm gonna say. They voted one asshole off of the uh so yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So so they I'm not buying it, you know. I'm buying I'm buying that they like bring him in and they're like, and that's the thing. Neanderthals did not exist in tiny microfamily groups, they existed in tribes of 10 to 20 people. I looked it up.

SPEAKER_02

Sure, okay. That's that makes more sense. I was very confused that there was just like this one family running around.

SPEAKER_01

Because you can't survive that. That's the whole thing is 100%.

SPEAKER_02

It takes a village. That's a that's a saying.

SPEAKER_01

Somebody wrote that line. Somebody wrote that down. It must be true. Okay, okay, okay. Uh, so so they're trying to cook embryos out in the future. Uh, four die, and then the fifth one catches.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, all right. That's fine. Uh, and then we find how do you think it takes that embryo to grow? You think it's still nine months, or do you think it just like supercooks it?

SPEAKER_01

Nine months.

SPEAKER_02

All right. I'm thinking 10, 20 minutes. Just you know, I think that'd be pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, Greg goes to visit her in Vancouver. She's happy. He brought her a gift, he has stolen the acorn from her research.

SPEAKER_02

Nobody's that stupid.

SPEAKER_01

And she's all like I'm really, I mean, I was just like, oh my god, Greg, you are the dumbest person in the world, and she should hate you for it.

SPEAKER_02

You're about to get arrested. You're about to get sent to jail, dude. You can't take that. But instead, she's happy and loves him, but is sort of anger at him. She's so she the only thing that she's mad about is he didn't take the whole body. That's what she wanted. She said, She just bring the whole guy here, and then I'll love you.

SPEAKER_01

She wants to wear the body like as a as a suit. The bones, the bones, you know, are ribbing in her this special dress that she makes.

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, it was so weird. Yeah, it's it's crazy. Um inappropriate.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, so so the caveman's hanging out with the river people. He plays his flute, they take his river, they take his flute.

SPEAKER_02

They love this flute, dude.

SPEAKER_01

They love the flute.

SPEAKER_02

Um I actually liked this scene when it because they're like raining under the leaves, and he's playing the flute, and the guy's like, What the fuck is that? And they're just so excited. It's it's weirdly pure. And then he like plays it for the other guys, and they're like, Oh, oh, oh, everyone's very excited. I loved this scene. That's the only scene in this whole movie that I was like, this is a fun scene. Good for you.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, let's see, let's see the cave people having a good time. You know, they get back, you know, everybody's got flutes. We got like a whole we got the drum circle. Like, let's do it. Sure.

SPEAKER_02

I love it.

SPEAKER_01

The whole thing. I mean, you make a really good point. They should have got back to that camp, and that should have been what happened. There should have been, you're like, oh, let's let's see some civilization happen, which it's happening, but he's got the flute, they got the this. Let's let's let's let's see some can, but there's no connection in this movie.

SPEAKER_02

To anything, to themselves, to the other storylines. There's nothing. It's absolute nonsense.

SPEAKER_01

Uh okay. Uh 2030 in Vancouver, she's pregnant, and she's already got one kid, and she's a professor, and okay. Um back on the ship, the kid is now there's a 12-year-old now, and they're just making more kids. Uh, that's good. Just cooking. Back at the cavemen. Uh the daughter gets married to the hot caveman. See, she's all like that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Good looking dude. Yeah, he's a good looking man.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, we have to give him some children.

SPEAKER_01

We have this weird scene at the museum where they're visiting the museum with their kid who's maybe seven, eight. Yeah. And the one guy is talking about the the docent is there giving a tour about it, and he's telling them lies.

SPEAKER_02

Were they li like were they purposeful lies? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

They were but they were like uninformed, and you're like, wait, yeah, it's definitely this is a real museum. Like, those docents work hard, and you're you're making these these assholes come up there and be like, that's not right.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_01

It annoyed me.

SPEAKER_02

Uh yeah, I get that. It was I thought it was very strange.

SPEAKER_01

We come back to space. Cochley is making the kiddo do chores.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you gotta learn. You gotta earn your keep. That's what it's all about.

SPEAKER_01

Uh cave chat learns to make fire. Uh, here comes Claire looking at their kid's browser history. The kid was looking at porn. Talk to talk to talk to the people about the porn scene, Tony.

SPEAKER_02

Well, their kid's a porn addict, right? But the saving grace is he's also a science addict. So he's a sexual predator, but he loves science, so he's gonna succeed. That's the moral of the story.

SPEAKER_01

Like the the weird sex stuff in this movie, it just feels out of place, out of place, just unnecessary.

SPEAKER_02

Because it's not even gratuitous, right? It's not like, oh, we're putting sex in there because it's fun. It's just like, yeah, we're just it's just sex stuff for no reason. We'll just put it in there. I don't know. Just do it. Humans have sex, right?

SPEAKER_01

You know, you may as well like have everybody like doing bowel movements, you know. It's like we all do them, so we better get them in the movie, right? That's what the sex feels like.

SPEAKER_02

You would love this movie if it was full of bowel movements. This is Dan's new favorite movie. Human flatulence loves that.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that would be funny. Oh god. And I uh were they homeschooling the kid? I didn't quite get all that.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, she said that years of homeschool wasted, so she was they're definitely homeschooling him. I don't know why, because he's not he's not far away from his school, right? Like that doesn't make any sense. Um, but yeah, so he they're looking at his porn history and he's like, Wow, that's a lot of porn, but also look at all this science, it's such a weird moment.

SPEAKER_01

I guess it's a way to figure out that your kid loves. Science, I guess.

SPEAKER_02

And boobies. Science and boobies, the two greatest things on earth. Well, I'll tell you this in the original script.

The Ending, Immortality, And Incest Math

SPEAKER_01

He turns out he's gay. So no, it's in it's in there. Oh, um, but I don't interesting. I don't think they say, oh man, he's looking at a lot of D.

SPEAKER_02

They don't say Yeah, a lot of dude porn. That's interesting, because that would be a at least, I mean, it would be a weird way to talk about your character being gay, I think. But at least it's a character moment then, as opposed to just like, well, he's looking at a lot of porn.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, the real question is weird. If you're homosexual, like what would you ever be looking at heterosexual porn?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think that you would.

SPEAKER_02

Maybe while you're trying to figure yourself out, you know, just be like, do I like this? Do I like this? Do I like I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. That's weird. Luckily, we don't have to think about it too hard because the movie doesn't care at all.

SPEAKER_01

That would be that would be something that you'd have to research and understand and be a character in an actual character moment as opposed to some weird thing that they just want to get.

SPEAKER_02

Just in general, oh, he's looking at porn. Like it doesn't not even specifics, you know, just porn. The general porn.

SPEAKER_01

Back in space, uh Kate McKinnon says the the little girl is now second in command. Uh because you know, that's what's happening.

SPEAKER_02

Because there's nobody else. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Now we get the whole TED talk about people living forever. Their kid is now an adult, they're watching him. Give this TED talk.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And then they like leave. They don't even say, good job, honey. They just fucking leave and leave a note. Did they leave him a weird note? Yeah, they just left him a little note and he read it later. I was like, what a weird you didn't even like wait and say goodbye to him? Don't they leave him the acorn? Yes, the acorn with a note. Like just that's something you would just give to him.

SPEAKER_01

And would you really like here okay, here's my most trusted family heirloom, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Just gonna leave it on because it it seemed like it wasn't at a house. It seemed like it was at this big building, right?

SPEAKER_02

No, it was at the thing, yeah. Because it was when they were leaving the thing. They just left it, and then and then later they probably were like, hey, honey, did you get the acorn? He's like, What do you mean? I didn't see the acorn there. I didn't see, I saw no, I didn't see an acorn because someone snatched it, because you left it in the middle of a fucking hallway.

SPEAKER_01

If that was sitting there, I would take it.

SPEAKER_02

I would take it too. It's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Um, then we go and we go and land on the planet, and I guess we've what we've done is we've terraformed the planet. We get down to the planet, talk talk to me about what they what they find on the planet, Tony.

SPEAKER_02

I think it's just like a lot of flowers, right? Tons of flowers.

SPEAKER_01

How big are the forests?

SPEAKER_02

I didn't even notice. Not very big. Huge. They're huge. Or very big. Oh, they're huge. Oh, yeah. But she only shot a couple of trees.

SPEAKER_01

Uh 50 drones doing trees.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Feels like not that much, though.

SPEAKER_01

In the script. Yeah. She says it took three years to get here, and it's gonna take me three hundred years to make it habitable.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, that makes sense. Because trees don't grow that fast, right? And I wonder, are you like changing the oxygenation of the planet? Is that the whole move? Like, what's going on, really?

SPEAKER_01

Totemy. Tonemy. Tony. Tonamy. How do plants have sex?

SPEAKER_02

With the sun? Isn't there something about sun? I didn't pay a lot of attention in biology, Dan. I'm gonna tell you. But it's photosynthesis, isn't that a thing? Well, that's how they live and grow.

SPEAKER_01

But how do they have sex?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, that's not how they do it?

SPEAKER_01

How do they get it on?

SPEAKER_02

I assume one vine slithers over, and then there's a little nut shell and it's just boop, boop, boop, boom, and just gets inside it. Is that it?

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Well, I got nothing.

SPEAKER_01

What's the most important animal on the planet? Cats.

SPEAKER_02

I love cats. Uh bees. Bees. Birds. Bannes. All right.

SPEAKER_01

You got it. You got on number two. I'm impressed.

SPEAKER_02

You gotta trust yourself.

SPEAKER_01

That's how plants have sex.

SPEAKER_02

That doesn't sound like plants having sex if there's a third party involved.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, a lot a lot of people that's third party, not the worst thing in the world.

SPEAKER_02

Good point. Good point. I I've in fact I'm probably just jealous. Let's be real.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, don't go crapping on everybody else's relationships, Tony, just because of where you're.

SPEAKER_02

Jensen over here, you know. We'll both love it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh god, Jensen. Jesus Christ.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Is that sexual harassment if someone sends him that clip? It might be. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

It might be. The bee flies to the one plant, it gets plant dust on it, flies to the next plant, and then pollinates the plant. Pollination.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. Pollination.

SPEAKER_01

So to to to do a whole thing where you're gonna have all these plants, you gotta have bees, you gotta have insects, you gotta have animals, is interesting. There was I just looked at this thing. When they reintroduced wolves to Yosemite, okay, to Yosemite, the wolves completely changed how the landscape was. Interesting. And then I was looking at this other thing. They had this picture of from high up of Australia, and there was a fence, and on one side of the fence the dingoes lived. While the dingo on the other side of the fence, they'd gotten rid of all the dingos. So all the dingos live over here.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

The Script’s Missing Coda And Final Roast

SPEAKER_01

The vegetation on the non-dingo side devastated because the kangaroos and all those fucks ate everything.

SPEAKER_02

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

On the other side, the vegetation's running fine because the dingoes, you need everything is a circle. It's a balance. It's a balance. And so to watch this whole thing where it's like, well, all plant all all a planet needs is human beings and plants. No. You gotta you gotta Noah's arc this shit.

SPEAKER_02

Well, that's interesting. Yeah, that's I mean, that's the whole that was his whole move, right?

SPEAKER_01

That was Noah's whole deal. That was his whole. Even the Bible got this shit right.

SPEAKER_02

Sure. Well, I mean, the Bible's real, so that makes sense. There it is. Um did you ever see that? Maybe we should do that movie. Did you see the Noah's Ark movie with Russell Crowe?

SPEAKER_01

Where he fights the rock fights the rock monsters at the end. Just like, what the hell is happening here? This is so bad. It's so weird. Oh god. Um, and then we basically find out that, you know, uh Kate McKinnon's character had this magic elixir, and that's why she gets to live forever, but these kids don't get it. I you know what what I'd have done is I'd have made her make two or three of these other immortals, you know, from the embryos, and then they, you know, she has to sort of deal with bringing them in there, and you know, there's like so many there's so many things that you can deal with with with this kind of stuff. Long life, but they they don't deal with, they don't they choose not to deal with anything.

SPEAKER_02

They don't deal with it all. All they say, K McKinnon is like a long time ago, people decided it was a bad idea. What fuck you that there's more to that story. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.

SPEAKER_01

You you can't set up stories that are more interesting than the stories you're telling. Hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02

Hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01

Wait, what are you talking about? Oh let me tell you about it, don't worry about it. Let me tell you about this computer that I had to kill. Okay. Um, let's see. The point of shiny on the planet, there's a lot of big tree growth. People watch watch it grow, then they watch it die. The meaning is the knowing the thorn dies, Claire dies, everybody dies. Uh, Coakley keeps on living. So everybody else, thorn dies, Claire dies. Coakley keeps on living till her daughter dies, and then she gives this weird eulogy where she's like, I didn't think we weren't related, but we ended up making it. So there's that.

SPEAKER_02

But here we are. We did it. Good job, everybody. When do you think that she had to give the speech to her children that they had to start mating with each other? That's what I was thinking about the whole time. I was like, you're bringing all these kids and you're acting as if you're their mother, but at some point you have to tell them to start fornicating. That's the moment I want to see. You want to see that talk? I just want to see how you approach it.

SPEAKER_01

You see, you gotta set that shit up early, man. It's gonna, you know, you see that child you're cooking in that cooker right there? You're gonna have to you're gonna have to let him stick his D into you.

SPEAKER_02

That's right. Is that cool with you? Doesn't really matter. It's part of your chores.

SPEAKER_00

That's part of your chores, okay?

SPEAKER_02

Gotta repopulate. All right, today's repopulation hour. Let's go, kids.

SPEAKER_01

In the script, they do have a whole thing where the where uh Kate McKinnon's character and the daughter talk about her having her first baby. They didn't put that in there because you don't that's a that's a kind of words. You don't want to you don't want to open it.

SPEAKER_02

You can't open it. Yeah, it's that's a whole movie on its own, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Um so two more things from the script.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Are you uh you're not ready for what the final coda of everything is? The coda is in the future place, but we go back in time to write after so so in the script, Kate McKinnon has to turn off the computer because the computer, you know. Well, it turns out she just turns the computer back on. And it's fine. And they said to the computer, so what you know, what what I gotta find it. I gotta find it. I gotta find the computer.

SPEAKER_02

What are you talking about? We gotta we gotta that's crazy. Let me find it. She just turns it back on. It's just the on-switch like I do with my computer every day. Shut it down and let it refresh itself. In fact, you should be shutting computers down every once in a while so they can like update and clear out their cash and whatnot.

SPEAKER_01

But the the point being is that it there wasn't really a there wasn't really any kind of big choice. It was just, well, we just turned the computer off for a second so that we could we could make it so I could do this one action. Sure. Okay. Let me get to the end of the script. Here I am at the end of the script. Uh Interior Phoenix 5. We've been here before, this exact moment, but we see it from Roscoe's perspective this time. Out through a little camera. Little camera. Coakley stands in front of the camera with a screwdriver. She looks inside. Coakley. Roscoe? Click, click, we're buzz. Roscoe's blue light fades on, illuminating Coakley's face in a ghostly blue. Roscoe, how long was I gone? Coakley, just a second. Roscoe, what happened? Coakley, nothing. I turned you off. I opened the algae, I turned you back on. Roscoe's light blinks and whirrs. Coakley, what happened to you? Roscoe. Everything. Cut to black. What? I don't even understand it, Dan.

SPEAKER_02

Tell me.

SPEAKER_01

Tell me what just happened. Well, she turned the robot off, and then she turned the robot back on, and the robot had uh some sort of spiritual thing. Awakening? Yeah. But what does that mean? Another thing in the one last thing from the script, which was earlier. Okay. They do a whole thing where like, oh, there's like there's like housing everywhere. And it looks like it was 3D printed. Like they had three giant house 3D printed. That's what they said along on the ship. House 3D printers. Because that's the number one thing you're gonna need to do is print a bunch of houses. But whatever.

SPEAKER_02

Well, you gotta live somewhere, Dan. You can't cut down the trees. That's bad.

SPEAKER_01

And then he's like, he talks about you know the population growing and covering the planet. And I think he says in there, like bacteria.

SPEAKER_02

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

And that's another whole thing. It's like, you know, uh humanity's like this this disgusting weed you can't get rid of. You try to we try to kill ourselves, but you know.

SPEAKER_02

We just can't do it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So that was in the blink of an eye.

SPEAKER_02

So hold on. I think I'm still confused. Does she turn the computer back on immediately? Yeah. Like one second later. But then why is the computer gone for the second half of the movie?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, they probably just cut around it.

SPEAKER_02

That's dumb. Like, I'm if she turns it back on once they've repopulated or whatever, like, or at least land, and the ship cannot be a swamp anymore. Then I'm like, that's cool. I get it. But just turning it back on and then never talking to it again? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, I'm assuming she talks to it all the time, but she's also it, so we think it's dead the whole time.

SPEAKER_02

That's not a reveal. Nobody cares. Nothing happened. The ship didn't fix anything. I dude, that was dumb. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_01

So what you need to do is write a really dumb script based on based on a movie that's very not popular. I mean, Cloud Atlas, you know, high profile. And just do it, do a dumbed-down version which acts like boom, there you got it.

SPEAKER_02

Say things profoundly, even though if they don't make any sense, and then you got money.

SPEAKER_01

Like we said. Like we said, the guy that used to live upstairs from me wrote the last Eddie Murphy movie. So that'll tell you everything you need to know about Hollywood.

SPEAKER_02

Keep writing. I don't know how to sell anything I write, but keep writing.

SPEAKER_01

And that's the the it doesn't matter what you write, it just matters that you can sell it.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly, which is a real problem.

SPEAKER_01

If you have the ability to sell, then uh the writing doesn't matter. The writing doesn't really matter. It's too late for us. We're too old.

What We’re Watching Next And Wrap-Up

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we are too old. We're done. We're out of the game. So Tony. Yeah. Anything you like this week? So I know, because we just talked a couple days ago. I know. But here's what I will say the trailer for uh Company Retreat has dropped. Have you seen this? We know who's in it, right? So Alex is Al, big Al. Alex Bonifer is in it. Uh Emily Pendergast is in it.

SPEAKER_01

Two people that we I think Emily's gonna be great in it. I think Emily's gonna be. Did you watch the trailer? No.

SPEAKER_02

I think Bonifer's gonna blow the fuck up, dude. He's funny. He's funny. He is playing the like the son of the guy, the head of the company that's like taking over or whatever. Uh, and he is just crazy. He's got this crazy blonde, dyed blonde hair. And the trailer, he talks about like, I lived in Jamaica, and he's like, it's it is insane, and I cannot wait to see it. I think he's gonna, I think he's gonna blow up. I uh it looks great, it looks fantastic. Uh, I didn't see Jury Duty, so I I will have to watch that just because I love James Mars and I never watched it. I didn't we didn't watch it. So good. So I I'm gonna watch both. I'm very excited. And that comes out, I think the 20th, March 20th.

SPEAKER_01

And uh Warren.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, March 20th. Warren's in it too. Oh, I didn't realize that. Yeah, Warren's in it somewhere too. And I watched the whole trailer. Uh so great. We got yeah, a couple of couple of people we know, and it looks wonderful. I'm very excited.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you know, yeah, because there's a there's in the first one, uh, there's this one redheaded girl that was on some of the teams. She was in it, and I don't I don't think anyone else, sweet, maybe one other person came in at one point that we knew. Sure. But yeah, good show, good show, and it's great because you were like, how are you gonna pull that off again? They switched it up. Smart, you know, company retreat, totally a thing you can do. Guy new to the company ends up with all these crazy people. Wonderful.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'm very excited about it. So I think it's gonna be great. Keep an eye on these people.

SPEAKER_01

I tried to watch tried to watch young Sherlock Holmes, the new uh guy Richie. Uh yeah, you know, it's whatever. All right. I hear you. That's too bad. You know, there's a couple things that you're like, oh, this is nice, but then they just you know, lots lots of dopey, you know, fight, guy Richie, fight. I watched because I saw the the the introduction of uh what's who's the guy that plays the penguin, uh uh British guy. Uh Colin Farrell? Colin Farrell. He was in that the gentleman, not the gentleman, he was in that other Guy Richie movie where he plays the coach, and I rewatched the scene where he beats up the kids in the uh in the uh fast food place, and he Oh sure, he is so good. He just he's phenomenally good. Yeah, he's the gentleman. The gentleman. He is that's a good movie, and he stands out. You know, it's it's a wholly a good movie, um, and he's the best thing in the movie. So well, Colin Farrell's great. Colin Farrell's great. The Banshees of Inesure, and he plays the world's dumbest guy, and you believe he's that dumb guy. But he ain't Tony. God damn it. It's been so long since we had a new movie to think about.

SPEAKER_02

I know, I know. So I'm going uh relatively brand new. This is it this year, last year? Probably last year at this point. I can't I can't actually keep it straight. End of last year, I think. Um, a movie that we talked about doing, and we're gonna do it. Anaconda. My Anaconda don't is it out? No, no, unless you got buns, huh? It's on uh on demand. We can I'll buy it. I'm gonna buy it for you.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, what's Minecraft was great. I loved Minecraft.

SPEAKER_02

Minecraft was a treat. Fun movie surprised me. Yeah, I have watched it several times since. Have you? Okay, and I hope this is I hope this is just as good. I hope it's funny. Um, the trailer doesn't look great, but that can be deceiving.

SPEAKER_01

Word of mouth, very terrible. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Well, hopefully it's funny. I think I'm gonna like it. Yeah, I like dumb things.

SPEAKER_01

That was the thing about Minecraft, is you were like, okay, Jack Black could do still do his Jack Black shtick and make it worse and have it land where you're like, you know, just like the Jumaji movies. You're like Jack Black doing Jack Black. Great.

SPEAKER_02

Those movies are great. It's always funny. Plus, Mamoa is great.

SPEAKER_01

Mamoa could do it.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, you know, we did watch. We watched that uh Jason Momoa's new movie.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, did you watch the one with uh what's his name? The Hawaii?

SPEAKER_02

I can't remember what it's called. The Hawaii one. Yeah. Loved it.

SPEAKER_01

It was great.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely loved it.

SPEAKER_01

I told you it was that was the most Tony movie I've ever seen because they they made a movie 10 out of 10. They wrote a movie like it, like your old movies that you love.

SPEAKER_02

100%. Yeah, and that brought me brought me right back to the you know late 80s, early 90s, buddy action. It was oh, it was beautiful. I mean, some terrible CGI. I looked past it, don't even care. See, that's the thing so much fun.

SPEAKER_01

It doesn't, you don't, you know, if a helicopter, I think I I got to the helicopter attacking them on the road. I think I I I I mean to go back. It's it's it's dopey, it's absurd, but you see, I'm gonna forgive this movie because it's written with uh you feel Jason Momoa's there the resentment between these characters, and the family the that family feels like a family.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know, it's uh it was yeah, it was great. Uh we loved it. We both were like, wow, this is the wrecking crew. That's what it's called. I had to look it up because I forgot.

SPEAKER_01

Make another one, make another one, guys.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, oh please, please give me a sequel of that. I will wash the shit out of it. So, you know, when people Batista and Momoa are so good together.

SPEAKER_01

When people say you can't make movies like they used to, yes, you can. People can sit down and write movies, you know. Uh what's her name? Marina Batterin, just like being like the hottest woman on the planet. Oh my god. Who? Momoa's girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Firefly. Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. 100%.

SPEAKER_01

You're just like you're like when she left so early in the movie. I was like, no. She comes back. Please, please, please come back.

SPEAKER_02

She comes back. Like, this is great. The fight scene in his in Jason Momoa's house is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen in my life. It's great. I'm gonna have to watch it again after just talking about it again. Um, yeah. Yeah, it's delightful.

SPEAKER_01

You both have care you have characters that are real characters that have you know real stakes in their existences, and then you have fun classic fights, and they just they they knew what their tone, you know, and Batista plays it pretty straight. He just thought 100%. He plays it hard and straight, and you never feel like there's two different, you know, two different tones, like stupid play dirty. You're like, what is the tone? Just decide on a tone and just do that tone. And you know, if whoever wrote uh Wrecking Crew went in and cleaned up that play dirty script, that could have been a good script. There it is.

SPEAKER_02

That's probably true.

SPEAKER_01

Hire those guys, bring them in, make write a write a real script.

SPEAKER_02

Amen. All right, so now I'm done.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, what movie are we watching? Anaconda! Anaconda, anaconda! Well, this is the new one, the Jack Black remake of That's right. Because there's a real movie, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, with uh J Low back in the day, John Voigt.

SPEAKER_01

Which was a fun movie, if as I remember.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's fun. Oh, yeah, yeah. Good time.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, if you like what you see, give us a like, a subscribe, or give us a thumbs up. These are all things you can do. And if not, just wait, and we'll be back next week talking about Jack Black and and Anaconda Batman.

SPEAKER_02

Paul Rudd, Paul Rudd, Paul Rudd, bye everybody. Goodbye, everybody.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, watch it.