Hate Watching with Dan and Tony

Hate Watching Strange Wilderness: Turkeys and Sharks and Bears, Oh My!

• Dan Goodsell and Tony Czech • Season 1 • Episode 275

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What happens when a movie you once despised suddenly makes you laugh out loud? We dive back into Strange Wilderness and pull apart why some of its dumbest jokes still work—and why the “movie” around them often doesn’t. We set the table with the film’s sketch roots, the Sandler-adjacent cast, and the loose, improv-first approach that leaves scenes searching for an ending. Then we zero in on the bright spots: the nature documentary parodies that deliver clean, quotable lines with a confident, wrong-on-purpose voiceover. When the film sticks to that angle, the jokes snap; when it wanders, setups die before their payoffs.

We get specific. The turkey clinic should be a premise machine; instead it blinks at the exact moment heightening should kick in. The scar-trading campfire misses easy layups. A promised punch to a rival’s face never lands. But Steve Zahn’s full-throttle commitment wrings laughs from chaos, Justin Long’s spaced-out physicality adds texture, and Jonah Hill’s stream-of-consciousness bursts occasionally hit surreal gold. The Bigfoot finale is dark and oddly honest—humans panic and ruin discovery—followed by a ludicrous “fix” that somehow fits the crew’s shameless logic. And yes, the late shark montage is a 10/10 showcase for tight edits and confidently stupid science, the kind of bit that proves craft can elevate silliness.

Along the way we talk joke structure, UCB-style game, and why committing to escalation matters more than shock value. If you care about how comedy lands—writing, rhythm, and payoffs—you’ll find plenty to argue with and steal for your own creative brain. Stay for the punchy breakdowns, the debate over dated gags, and our case for why the right edit can redeem a bad scene. Enjoy the ride, then tell us: secret classic or still a glorious mess? Subscribe, share with a friend who loves movie autopsies, and drop your take in a review so we can feature it next time.


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We’re Back And We Pick A “Bad” Movie

SPEAKER_03

I'm excited to hear what you think about this movie, Dan. Are you? I am because it turns I mean, you know, I don't want to get too far ahead, but turns out I take back everything I said. Pretty much uh love this movie. This movie's great.

SPEAKER_02

Wow. That does not surprise me. Adam Sandler was dead in the background, so it's gotta be good. Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony after a long hiatus, because Tony's lazy.

SPEAKER_03

Um so lazy, but we're back, baby. We are so back.

SPEAKER_02

On the show, we we talk about bad movies that Tony has a tendency to like because Tony's out of his mind.

SPEAKER_03

Sometimes they're not so bad, you know? Or like bad means good, you know? Like uh, oh, you're bad, you know? Uh-huh. It's like old vernacular. Bad means good.

SPEAKER_02

Um, Tony, you you picked this hour 25-minute pile of steaming.

SPEAKER_03

Uh you're welcome to hour 25. That's pretty quick.

SPEAKER_02

That's the one good thing. You you you're you're gonna take punishment for this next week.

SPEAKER_03

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_02

Next week is not an hour.

SPEAKER_03

I would add it, I would add an additional hour on. Oh, perfect. Yeah, like we it's been a while since we've passed that two-hour mark. Let's let's bring it back. What a treat. Uh yeah, so I saw this movie in the theaters, I believe, when it came out, and we uh hated it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, really?

First Impressions Flip To Surprise Praise

SPEAKER_03

Thought it was awful. Never watched it again. That's 18 years, never watched it again, barely thought about it until it came up in uh one of my lists of worst movies of all time, right? Um, and then now I'm just rethinking everything I ever knew because I boy, I laughed a lot, Dan. Okay, I laughed a lot. Yes, but is this a good movie? Good is subjective, right? Did it entertain me? Yes, it did. Is it a movie? Not really, but that's okay. That's okay sometimes, you know, as long as it's fun. If I'm having a good time, doesn't need to be a movie per se. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Uh what is this movie?

SPEAKER_03

This movie uh originated from some little sketches that they did of the so the wilder, the actual wilderness videos, that was something that they kind of were doing, were these stupid, ridiculous, fake uh nature movies, and then they're like, we want to make a whole movie out of this, and you know, and then they I guess pitched it to Sandler, and Sandler was like, You guys should do it, but I don't want to be a part of it. And then we get this brilliant thing. So I guess it's like a mishmash of just guys that uh had a joke, and then they're like, Well, let's stretch it out into 90 minutes.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, well, that that makes sense because this movie feels like a bad improv.

SPEAKER_03

I would agree with that. Also, uh, on top of that, I just want to say, What's Jonah doing?

SPEAKER_02

Well, I thought that was your favorite part. I had to assume that was your favorite part. That was the only one.

SPEAKER_03

Justin Long. Full full disclosure, Justin Long is my favorite part. He is he's fine, he's having a good time. I enjoy the tattoo bit is incredible. Uh, and then he has one of my favorite lines in the whole movie. I just this character that Jonah's doing. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'm Jonah Hill, everything's happening, and I'm gonna just say a bunch of words, and that's what I'm doing. Saying some words.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know what it is, man. I as soon as he opened his mouth, I was like, uh oh, what are we doing? What are we doing here, guys? Um yeah, no, I think that makes sense. Most of my favorite bits are actually the doc the nature documentaries. I think there's some really solid jokes in these documentaries. Uh very stupid, but very, very fun. Um The Shark, the the stupid show. Those the funniest fucking thing ever.

SPEAKER_02

That was unfortunately, that was like at the very end.

SPEAKER_03

It's literally the last thing that they do. It's the last five minutes of the movie. Uh, I watched it like three times. It it had me going.

SPEAKER_02

These are just like your little travel log videos you make, aren't they? It's it's actually pretty silly. You know what?

SPEAKER_03

At some point, this is probably how that idea even came into my head 20 years later. You know what I mean? God, but yeah, they are they're not dissimilar, that's for sure. Stupid, stupid made up facts about real places or things. Yeah.

unknown

Yep.

Sketch Origins And Sandler’s Shadow

SPEAKER_03

Okay. Um bears kill two million salmon a year, but salmon attacks on bears are far more rare. I mean, that's a joke, Dan. That's funny.

SPEAKER_02

If if it was if it was delivered by a character that I believe would deliver that line, then then maybe it would be okay. But the problem with this movie is there's just a bunch of people and nobody other than Jonah Hill plays a character. And so there's there's no consistency, and so you know, let's go back to our UCB times.

SPEAKER_03

Ah, yes. Upright Citizens Brigade, for anyone who doesn't know.

SPEAKER_02

Nobody plays any games, right? A game in UCB is like it's it's it's very similar to having a care. It's it's their way to say character, but not have to make anyone do actual character work.

SPEAKER_03

They do play one game, Dan. Yeah, and it's with the name Dick. They do go on a nice run there, but that's the only time they do an actual like full bit. It's the only time in the movie. Uh, but it was enjoyable. I did have a good time.

SPEAKER_02

Now, hold now let's let's let's talk about the the dick bit.

SPEAKER_03

Dick bit, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Were you writing better jokes as you were listening to their jokes that weren't very good?

SPEAKER_03

I was formulating my own jokes, yes, as well. But some of them, there was a couple that I liked.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, there were a couple actual jokes in there. There were other ones that didn't work that weren't structured as jokes and weren't structured well so as to be funny and wouldn't be things you would say because they didn't make any sense. So that's correct. This this movie felt like felt like somebody wrote some stuff and they sort of improvised other stuff, and then they sort of kind of movie.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I think that's I think that's and point in case is the end of the movie where it doesn't there isn't an end to the movie. They just they're basically mid-scene, and then someone off-screen yells cut and they all start laughing and break the fourth wall. Uh that's the end, it's more that's the end of the movie, which just means that they mean the final shot of the movie is an outtake? Is that what you're saying, Tony? I don't even I don't even know if it's really an outtake. I think it was just mid-scene. I think they were just like, cut, let's get it from a different angle. And then they were like, you know what? Fuck it. We don't know in this movie. Let's just cut it here. It's weird. It's a weird uh it's a weird credit roll.

SPEAKER_02

So they end with what looks like an outtake or a mistake, and then you were like, okay, that's weird. Well, I guess we're gonna follow up with a bunch of outtakes where the they're actually funny.

SPEAKER_03

Nope. And that doesn't matter. Don't do that either. Um just roll credits.

Characters That Land And Those That Don’t

SPEAKER_02

Talk about there's two characters I want you to talk about, Tony. The sound guy, Fred, and then the other guy that's his best friend that is should be played by Diedrich Bader, but is played by someone that's not funny. Wait, which guy is that? Well, there's the guy that gets that gets attacked by the seals, that's Fred, the sound guy, and then there's this other guy who's always standing next to him and is kind of like the second built guy. I I don't even know what his name is. I don't I don't know if I ever wrote his name down.

SPEAKER_03

And I don't even know if I remember all these people.

SPEAKER_02

You don't remember the guy with the the big dark mustache that stood next to him through most of the movie.

SPEAKER_03

So is it that stood next to Steve Zahn or stood next to Steve Zahn? So he's the long hair mustache.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, who is that?

SPEAKER_03

The guy that's in all of Adam Sandler's movies of all time, that guy.

SPEAKER_02

I I I don't feel like I've ever seen him before. Are we talking about different people then? Well, I don't I don't know. I know in all the people. Let's go to the cast list. I know this. There's Jonah Hill, there's Steve Zon, there's Ernest Borgnine, there's Justin Long, there's Kevin Hefefferman, there's Fred the Sound, there's Fred the Sound Guy, there's the woman, who I I don't know why she was even in this movie.

SPEAKER_03

Um so Fred is Alan Covert. I don't know if I'm saying that right. Dunno. He's the guy that I'm thinking of. He's from he's the lead in Gram's boy. He's in all of Adam Sandler's movies. Fitch First Days. Who's the other guy?

SPEAKER_02

That got bit by the shark. I don't know who that guy is either.

SPEAKER_03

The guy that get that got bit by the shark, also uh a Sandler mainstay. I'm trying to find him, Peter Dante.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, those two guys. Would you hire either of those guys to do any uh other than yard work? Would you hire those guys to be in a movie?

SPEAKER_03

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, I like my yard neat and tidy. I don't know if I would trust them to do yard work. They don't seem like they have a great work ethic. Um, so I would never ever in a million years, no offense. Uh, congratulations on your great careers. I don't have a career, so keep that in mind. I would never hire Peter Dante to do everything. I I don't think he can act. Never have. Which one is all the mustache?

SPEAKER_02

Is he the mustache guy or is he the shark guy?

SPEAKER_03

He's not the mustache. He's the shark guy. He's the guy that just yells all the time.

SPEAKER_02

Well, yeah, he was he's worse than the he's way worse than the mustache guy.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. He's always just yelling. Just that's kind of his his shtick. Um, I have never enjoyed him. I think he's bad in everything. No offense.

SPEAKER_02

What about the uh what about the mustache guy?

SPEAKER_03

I he is hit or miss from he's not good in this movie. This movie doesn't do anything, but that's not I don't know if that's entirely his fault. I mean, there are a lot of characters that don't really do much in the movie.

SPEAKER_02

If we're being if we took those two characters out and they weren't in this movie, sure this would be a much better movie.

SPEAKER_03

It would be tighter, it would be it would move faster, and it would be funnier because neither of them really have jokes, they don't really do any jokes in the movie.

SPEAKER_02

Well, they say they have some little monologue, they do some little monologues, they go blah blah blah. Sure, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, sure, why are they letting this person talk?

SPEAKER_03

Right. Well, because they're I'm pretty sure they're Adam's best friends.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, is that what it is? They're Adam's best friends. So if he puts them in this movie, they get paid.

SPEAKER_03

Because they're in everything. Like they're in all of Adam Sandler's movies. Uh mustache, uh, he's like he's the caddy in Happy Gilmore. Uh yeah, they're all they're in all of his movies. So they're all that's like part of his core group of of buddies.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so this might have been an okay movie if if Adam Sandler hadn't been involved. I'm not sure.

Nature Doc Bits: Stupid Yet Sharp

SPEAKER_03

Well, I mean, he's the only reason it got made. From my understanding, is that they were trying to sell it for years and nobody wanted to buy it, and then Adam was like, I'll I'll produce it, I'll I'll help you make it. So we wouldn't even have this gem if it wasn't for Adam. But if you look, if you take a step back and you look at this cast and you look at the movie, to me, the strong points are Steve Zahn, uh Justin Long, and then the bad guy. He's he's great. Who's that? Those are kind of like the three people. Um is that his name? He seems like a real guy. The other nature documentary guy. Pearson. Pearson, yes, that guy.

SPEAKER_02

He was in two scenes. I know he's great.

SPEAKER_03

He's very he's very suave. I really love his death scene. That cracks me up. It's good.

SPEAKER_02

That was Harry Hamlin. He was on Law and Order with your boy Carben Burnson.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, Corby. Love that guy. He did he did not love me. But that's all right.

SPEAKER_02

Did Robert Patrick's character ever come back in the movie, or did he just steal all their stuff and leave?

SPEAKER_03

Nope, just stole all their stuff and left. He's also great. That scene made me laugh too. That's a good scene. The scar scene, that's pretty good. He's he was the right choice. That's some good casting right there. Okay. Now I know where I'm gonna be. Raveled up my testicles and sewed them back together myself. Great stuff.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, hilarious. Um we start. Now we're gonna talk about the movie.

SPEAKER_03

Let's talk about this thing.

SPEAKER_02

Um, I fell asleep twice during this movie. I was watching it this morning.

SPEAKER_03

And how is that possible? Which parts do you remember?

SPEAKER_02

Uh no.

SPEAKER_03

Um I'm worried you missed some of my favorite jokes. That's all. I'll tell you about them today. You tell me if you remember.

SPEAKER_02

That long. I I didn't miss anything. Um, so we set up that there's this uh guy who does uh animal show called Strange Wilderness, and I think it was I think no, it wasn't Jack Hannah. It was some other guy that was like a it's a real guy local TV guy that who I totally have seen.

SPEAKER_03

He's a real guy, so I I don't know who he is, but that is a real guy, real footage. Yeah, yeah. So he's which is a weird thing to kind of do if you think about it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So we have some footage of him having trouble with monkeys and goats and being pecked by an ostrich, and but just being like a really sweet man.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. He seems he seems lovely. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I I think it was a local, I think it was an L he was an LA guy. It seemed like it seems like I've seen that footage here before as a kid or whatever. Uh so here we have Steve Zahn on the phone talking about his dad, how his dad had this TV show. He's getting stoned. It didn't the dad ended up dying. Steve Zahn inherited the show, and he is recounting this tale to what turns out to be his mother. They don't choose not to make it a joke, which I thought was very interesting.

SPEAKER_03

Um nor do we ever meet her. She's just on the phone.

SPEAKER_02

Well, yeah, it's just weird. Well, I mean, what you would have done if you're writing a real movie is you would have made that made get a laugh out of who he's been talking to, telling this whole story to. Sure. You know, pizza man. You're gonna have to pizza's the the easiest one, but it's his mother, which of course doesn't really help us because yeah, whatever. Um so he's recounting what happened basically a year ago when they were trying to get the show uh to work. Um they have a beat up RV. Yes, you want to say something?

SPEAKER_03

Nah no no. It's uh it's not necessary.

SPEAKER_02

They have a beat up RV and they need to get animals on film, and now we meet the we meet the crew. Jonah Hill is cooker. I don't believe we ever use that name in the movie. Oh.

SPEAKER_03

That's are you saying it right now? First time I've ever heard it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Pete uh Steve Zahn plays Pete or Peter. Ernest Borgnine plays Miles, who is their cameraman for the initial thing, and then he he gets thrown out. Um gets thrown out. Then we have Justin Long, who's a stoner, who I think is Ernest Borgnine's kid or his nephew or something. Yeah. Then we got the sound guy, Fred, and then we got that other guy who we don't know what his name is.

SPEAKER_03

I can find it. His name is I lost him. All right, it's over. Danny Guterres says Danny Guterres.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, Danny, yes, that is his name.

SPEAKER_03

Danny wrote that down.

Stakes, Structure, And Missing Payoffs

SPEAKER_02

So Danny and Fred are the two Adam Sandler people. Yes. Uh they're doing a script, it's on a napkin, and he starts doing the script. They're talking about bears, and we do the the bears and the trout joke. And yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I like I like it because so they hand him a napkin, and he reads the first line, and it's stupid. All bears are big and brown. It's like not all bears are big. He just tears the napkin. There's no reason for this visual, but I was like, that's funny. Tears the napkin, and then the bears get their name from a football team. It's the other way around, tears it, then they do the bears attack, or bears kill nearly two million salmon a year. Salmon attacks on bears are much more rare. And then he gives a nice pause. He's like, Well, that's gotta be true, right? Let's go with that one. It's funny, it's a funny bit.

SPEAKER_02

So now we have a helicopter show up which interrupts their footage, and it's the park rangers saying that they need a permit, you've got to leave, and you owe us$500. So this is another sort of recurring thing in this movie is large sums of money which ostensibly are supposed to be problems, but then they're sort of magically solved for no reason.

SPEAKER_03

They don't really pay any of them, they don't no one talks about them. I wouldn't worry about it. Yeah, so we That's how money works, right? Yeah, arbitrary.

SPEAKER_02

In this movie, yes. We we talk a lot about money as if it is an obstacle, then we just sort of resolve it and nobody cares. And it's not really it's just sort of a way to get out of things. Now we do we go to the sound booth where they've shot this, and now they're back at the sound booth, and they we I think we do that all again about the salmon and the brown bears.

SPEAKER_03

And then he has trouble saying brown bear, so he just calls them red bears. Makes me laugh. There's no reason, it's very stupid. Now, why does it make you laugh now and it didn't make you laugh 18 years ago? I so I think, well, one times have changed, right? We're in dark times, Dan. So any sort of levity is really nice, I think. But I think when back in the day I had a a higher, I don't want to say standard, but movies, movies during that time, I think were were really good. Comedies. Got it. Biggest comedies.

SPEAKER_02

So you expanded to go into a movie theater and see something good, and what you saw was.

SPEAKER_03

And see like a real movie, I think. Sure. Tropic Thunder came out that year, Step Brothers came out that year, Pineapple Express came out that year. Like, there are some forgetting Sarah Marshall came out that year. There are some movies that like are genuinely good, stand-up, like great movies. Nowadays we don't have a lot of good comedies, like that's not really something we do. So I think my comedy bar has not it it's changed, right? Like it doesn't have to, if it makes me laugh, I'm happy. I think back then I was like, Well, this is a stupid, this isn't a real movie. This is what is this? This is stupid. And now I just miss any sort of comedy that we can get. And there's there's some good jokes in this movie. It's not a good movie, it doesn't hold up to any of those movies that I just listed. No, but it makes me laugh.

SPEAKER_02

So you could disassociate the whole you're just looking for what you could pull out of this, and that's enough for you.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, and these days, I think, yeah, yeah, that's all we need. And also, I spend most of my life trying to disassociate, so it all works out.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

So they take a truck, they go to a meeting with at Cape Pip, which is their station, they're 45 minutes late, they get there, and then here's Guy Pearson played by Harry Hamlin and his two buddies, TJ and another one, and they are uh wildlife show competitors, and then uh he just uh disses them uh out of existence. Right. Yeah. But it but in the end they still love him, which I thought was really it.

SPEAKER_03

I mean it's a nice like yeah.

SPEAKER_02

It would be a nice touch if you then that's the that's what drives me. Yeah, if that was the fit, and that's that's my whole problem with a movie like this is yeah they do set up things that are interesting and then they just they just disappear and they're totally gone.

SPEAKER_03

Well, keep in mind that I do believe that this movie is mostly made for people that are um very very out of touch in the moment. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh Jeff, Jeff Garland's the uh person in charge of the station, he says your show sucks, and then we do a whole bunch of clips of it sucking.

SPEAKER_03

Highlight clips.

Sea Lions, Shark Gags, And Jonah’s Bits

SPEAKER_02

See, you love this aspect of it, don't you? That that in the middle of this movie we go into a clip show where we're having lions having sex. He refers to people which is very funny, pygmy people.

SPEAKER_03

Very funny. Also, all the littering, great, great, just in a third world country throwing their trash everywhere, great.

SPEAKER_02

Fred is racist. Um they shoot Chinese.

SPEAKER_03

Oh god. There's some I mean, there are some jokes in here that you can't. I'm not even sure you could do in two thousand and eight, but you know, good for you for trying.

SPEAKER_02

Guy gets killed by alligator, guy on fire at a peace rally. Peace rally, which doesn't even make sense.

SPEAKER_03

The nature documentary.

SPEAKER_02

And then Topless Girls, which they say that's the African wilderness. They're doing a war dance, but the women over there are not attractive enough.

SPEAKER_03

What they did you remember what the word they say, Dan? They say the bush women, which you can't say. I was my jaw hit the floor. I was like, oh my god. Um, yeah, super offensive stuff. Super offensive. Right.

SPEAKER_02

So we got these girls from Long Beach. That was the that was the one joke I liked.

SPEAKER_03

Poor Long Beach, you know, getting a bad reputation. No, it's good.

SPEAKER_02

Probably should have said Huntington Beach if they actually knew anything. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_03

What's wrong with Huntington Beach? I love HB.

SPEAKER_02

I know you do. So they are gonna get canned unless they get something big done in two weeks.

SPEAKER_03

Which is such a stupid conceit. I mean, it I mean, you're not you're gonna not canceled yet, but nothing big's gonna happen. So you got two weeks. It's like, all right. I mean it's the two-week notice of canceling a show. That's silly. I love it.

SPEAKER_02

It's pretty classic, you know. It's like, let's make oh, we we need some stakes. Okay, or you know, we need something to happen now. Two weeks. Oh, we need stakes, money. You know, that there was there was nothing in the they don't understand anything about stakes, and so at no point do you ever care about these characters or want them to succeed. You're just like, okay, they're just going through the motions.

SPEAKER_03

Well, what helps is you actually know that they don't succeed. They set that the very first scene, they're like, uh, the TV show didn't work. Let me tell you the story of why. So you never even you never even have to root for them. It's not a good move, by the way. I'm I'm saying it facetiously a little bit. That's a terrible way to set up your your movie to be like, well, everything failed, so here's the story. Um, anyhow.

SPEAKER_02

So they have a meeting. Jonah's continu Jonah does a new bit. I didn't write even write down what it was. Uh uh, what's his name? Justin Long has Junior has painted his eyes on his eyes. Uh you have to wonder if they saw that from the you know, stole that from the Simpsons episode. Probably.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, interesting. That happened somewhere else first. Oh, god, yes.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, the Simpsons. Oh, you thought they made that up? I don't think they made it up.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know. It made me laugh pretty hard. Yeah, I don't I don't think I like I like that scene. Oh, you know, and he covers his uncle's ears when he talks about getting stoned. That's funny.

SPEAKER_02

And then they talk about getting a celebrity host.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I don't.

SPEAKER_02

Then we never do that.

SPEAKER_03

Well, there's a really there's I think they thought this was funny. They're like, let's get Jack Nicholson. And then at some point Jonah's like, Who's Jack Mikel loss? And I don't know what he says, but it was I don't know. I didn't get the joke. Oh if you're gonna do it, you gotta do a joke about the person, right?

SPEAKER_02

Well, that's the the the dumb guy, Danny. He does a whole bit about digging through his trash and he's fat or something.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

We did all that. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

You know, once again, you know, if Jonah was there just doing his weird Jonah thing, maybe. Um, this guy, Bill, shows up and he has a Bigfoot photo and he has a map to Bigfoot in Ecuador, but he needs to get a thousand dollars, or he's gonna give it to um the other guy.

SPEAKER_03

The other guy Pearson. Now, uh Dan, if you needed a thousand dollars, right? And you had proof that Bigfoot existed, wouldn't you just sell the proof?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, you could sell those photos, sure, get a thousand dollars. Right? Like easy. There it is. But that would be that would be a funny solution to the thing, right?

SPEAKER_03

Sure.

SPEAKER_02

That's that's that's you see what you're doing, see what you're doing, Tony, is you're thinking about your setup as opposed to writing some stuff that you think is funny. And you know, that's wow. You know, if they sold those photos and then that became a thing, and you know, that could all be very funny. They sure they set up a lot of things in this movie, and then they they get I don't think they trust themselves, right?

The Turkey Scene: Premise Vs. Execution

SPEAKER_03

Well, again, they might be high. You know, I don't I'm not saying they are, but there's maybe there's a chance that they're a little inebriated while they ride it. So they're you know, you're second guessing yourself, you know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, who knows, Dan? Uh we do not know. Uh so they he's like, I'll get the money, give me a week. And so then they set up the whole thing, is they're gonna go have to go down to Ecuador, so they'll do shows as they go along, and then that will pay for the show. Doesn't make any sense. I don't know what that means. Don't think don't think too hard about it, Dan.

SPEAKER_03

Don't think about it.

SPEAKER_02

And then Miles, the Ernest Borgnine character, just sort of quits.

SPEAKER_03

So as soon as he quits because he's too old, so he's he's just like, I can't make that trek with you, so you'll bring the young the young lad.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And so instead, and then what they need is they need a new animal handler, which doesn't doesn't make any sense. And so we do this whole thing with uh Kevin Hefeferman. Um, and he God, he just felt like he was almost gonna be very funny that that he was gonna come in there because he's a guy that seems like a self-starter that can make up a character and then bring that character and then because I've you've seen him do that in movies. You're like, I I trust this guy to do comedy, you know. He's he's he's because he's the supertroopers. Did we do that movie?

SPEAKER_03

No, because supertroopers is a perfect film. Oh did we do one of the sequels? Oh, we did the super troopers too.

SPEAKER_02

What's his name on the island? The island.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yeah, no, we're right. We did a broken lizard film. Yeah, we did Club Dread. You're right.

SPEAKER_02

And he plays like the dread-haired guy. He I he was definitely one of the better parts of that that movie. 100%.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, without a doubt. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That movie. That guy, the one guy, he he went on to direct a bunch of community things. He was in the Chevy Chase documentary talking about community.

SPEAKER_03

Jay Crandishler. Yeah, I don't know his last name. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jay directs a bunch.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, good for him. He's great. Yeah. So we we have a bunch of other candidates, and then they end up with him.

SPEAKER_03

It's I do like this scene, Dan.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I think it's funny. They just because the bit is that let me let me rephrase. The I like the Steve Zahn side of this bit, which was just him yelling for his assistant Debbie to move on to the next candidate. That's funny. But then all of their candidates are just like regular people that would never apply for this job, just saying, I don't want this job. I don't understand that bit. I don't understand that part of it. Like, why are they there then? What are they what are they uh responding to this ad for? I don't know. It doesn't matter, but I like the Debbie stuff. Debbie, next that makes me laugh.

SPEAKER_02

So what you're saying is almost you could have written three other people that were more worse and worse and worse, and then they go with the guy that used to work in an auto body shop just because he wants to get over the buttons they just got people, maybe even from the crew, who knows, to just be like, No, I don't want the job.

SPEAKER_03

I don't want this job. No thanks on the jobs. So it's okay. They've gone to the job interview and say they don't want the job. Right. It doesn't matter. It's very stupid. I don't I don't know if that part's funny to someone, but the other side of it is fun.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Then we have Cheryl show up. Cheryl is the girl. She's sort of in charge of logistics of where they're gonna go.

SPEAKER_03

Why is she going with them? Why is she going with them? She's the travel planner, but she's going with them? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_02

They do they they walk away from her, and then Steve Zon's like, oh, she's gonna fall in love with me. I'm gonna lay some pipe, and then she's standing behind them again. Yeah, and then she kind of does a bit, and I'm like, oh, this is gonna be interesting. She's gonna be completely crazy. She's gonna be so crazy that they don't want to deal with her, but then they never do that again.

SPEAKER_03

Do that again, never come, they never even think about doing it again. There's never another moment whatsoever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So they take off take off in the RV, there's some music. Jonah does a song on the guitar.

Border Detour And Tone Problems

SPEAKER_03

What do you you want to say anything about the song on the guitar, Tony? You like that? I like I like the idea of the song. It's almost there. It's all it's almost there, and yet it's grating because he's doing it in that character. In my weird, my his hi, I'm Jonah. But he's trying to sing in that it it hurt my ears, but the lyrics are funny because it's just a song about how much he hates his stepmother, which is totally random and could be funny, but it's just so bad. It's pretty bad. It's like, I need this to be over. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_02

So they're just driving by, they see some sea lions, so they pull over. Of course, they have a sea lion costume in the thing, which looks like so big, Danny. Very terrible.

SPEAKER_03

They just have this on hand. It's so big, it would take up half the RV. But um, this this is a great this is great.

SPEAKER_02

So Danny's gonna get in there and go and be with the seals. Um then we start doing the the voiceover, meet Mr. Sea Lion, then we talk about sharks, then we show puffer fish, and uh this is a line I did write down. This fish, this fish inflates itself by sucking its balls into its stomach. Now, Tony, that is like literally the most juvenile thing ever put on film, right? Yeah. Now, why do you love that?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, because it's ridiculous and silly and something that you know you might think about as a kid, you know?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. This is yes, this is this is a third this is for the 13-year-old brain, probably.

SPEAKER_03

100%. 100%. Did you not laugh at that, Dan?

SPEAKER_02

I only laughed at one thing in this movie.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, wow. We haven't seen it yet. Okay, yeah, please.

SPEAKER_03

And it wasn't the shark bit at the end. The shark bit was funny, but they'd it beat they'd beaten all all ability to all hope out of me. A movie like this beat beats it out of me. You're you're bloodied and just grasping at straws at the I get it.

SPEAKER_02

Because the shark bit at the end they have this shark with like a weird overbite, and then he just goes, ha ha ha ha. What does he do? He's just making doing the shark's voice over and they just loop it over and over again. It's very funny, but yes, at the end of the movie, they've they've it's too late.

SPEAKER_03

It's too late. Um, so I will yeah, listen, yeah, there are only two, maybe three scenes that aren't the nature documentary stuff that I laughed at. Oh, okay. Other than that, all of my laughs just come from the nature documentary segments. That makes sense. I think that they were pretty brilliant. Um, but you know, what do I know? The rest of the movie's not that great. You know what I mean? So it's just it's hard. It's hard. Um, anyhow, sorry, yes.

SPEAKER_02

Danny gets attacked by the shark, they have to take him to the hospital, they talk about the attack, and then somebody does a shock buzzer to it, kind of goes three stooges for a second.

SPEAKER_03

Well, so Jonah, I mean, who knows how this happened. Halfway through this movie, Jonah picks up a buzzer bit where he just keeps buzzing people. Uh, he starts with the lady here to cheer her up, I think, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And then it becomes uh a dick joke where he buzzes people in the crotch and says, take a bow, which that does make me giggle.

SPEAKER_02

Um, then Jonah does this bit about a pre beginning hit on the head, and it becomes a prehistoric egg, and then the bump hatches a dinosaur. This was the funniest part of the whole movie for me.

SPEAKER_03

This was the funniest part of the movie. Jonah's just going off.

Robert Patrick, Scars, And Dead Ends

SPEAKER_02

Like just he goes off, and I thought it was very funny. And it's like the other times he goes off, it didn't really add up to any, but this one was just so weird, and he's just doing the weird. Yes, and you're like, uhbe, if this movie had carved out more room for for this kind of stuff, and then you know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

It is only 90 minutes if we pushed it to, you know, 100, 110, you could get some real solid uh runs in there.

SPEAKER_02

So here, and then we immediately do something that I hated. Uh they're like, hey, look at that bug over there, and there's like this little beetle like across. And so they pull out the camera and they they start shooting, and then these Latino guys show up in a car and they're making noise, and so they're like, You gotta quiet down because we're trying to make a soundless nature documentary over here that we make all the time.

SPEAKER_03

That's the thing, right? The Beatle doesn't have makes sounds, right? They're not capturing audio here, like you don't need sound whatsoever. It's fine.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, and that just you're like, we're watching your stupid movie. You set up your stupid movie, make this about the Beatle, but instead they make it about these two Latino guys, and then Steve Zahn does this weird, racist Latino accent. You're just like, oh, why are we doing this?

SPEAKER_00

It's so wrong.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, two 2008 does feel like a long time ago, Dan, but it it's not that long ago. You know what I mean? Like, it's not that long ago. Maybe in the 80s we could get away with something like that. But this was like I I was floored. I was absolutely floored.

SPEAKER_02

There's gotta be a callback.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah. We get there's not a lot of callbacks in this movie, but this guess what? This is the most crazy.

SPEAKER_02

The most racist, well, maybe not the most racist, because they already did the one racist thing.

SPEAKER_03

It's got some competition for the most racist, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so the Latino guy gets him to move too close to the car, then they make the car jump, and it busts out their teeth. So they have to go to the dentist. It's a one-hour wait, and then the lady says, Do you want a magazine? And the one guy's like, I want a Batman comic. And then Steve Zahn's like, Batman comic is not a magazine, and then he's like, Well, I want a penthouse, and she's like, We don't have penthouse. Then he turns around and there's this attractive woman, and then he hits on her with his hideous missing teeth, bloody face, as if she's gonna want to have sex with him for the hour.

SPEAKER_03

Which is which is not the character that we've been introduced to. This is such a weird, creepy 180. And I I get what's happening is that it's the slit in the teeth, and I'm sure Steve was just like, I want to have some fun with this slit here, because he he like does this thing where he like slides his tongue through it very weirdly, and I I don't know. I'm sure they just thought it was funny, but it's so weird and out of place. This entire scene cut. This should be on the cutting room floor. Someone should watch this movie and be like, what the f what are we doing? This is so weird. This is not the movie, cut it.

SPEAKER_02

So they're broke, but what do I know? I know they're broke, but it turns out that Junior has stolen a whole container of nitrous, which they can sell for a thousand dollars. You're like, okay, that's interesting. And so they drive away and don't do this, but they leave the nitrous on the floor and then it leaks, and then we just do a whole rave party in a parking lot, and then they all get better the next day, and we're like, we're broke.

Bigfoot Disaster And “Fixing” The Ending

SPEAKER_03

Yep, let's just keep moving on. I don't know, man. I don't know. You're like, okay. It's such a weird this whole 12 minutes is such a weird tangent from the rest of the movie. I have no idea why it's in there.

SPEAKER_02

It yeah, I mean, it does feel like they just would write pages and then do them and then write some more pages and then do them and then write some more pages, and sure. Eventually you're gonna get to hour twenty five. Uh they have to you just cut it because you're like, well, that's the length of a movie. Let's stop. I I don't think they can cut it down to an hour ten. I think they kind of kinda has to be in a certain amount of movie late. They go out to the Bigfoot guy, the guy with the maps place. Uh turns out he sold the map because they're three days late. He needed the money for lithium.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Because he's so depressed. It's a weird joke. It's a weird dark joke. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Um he but he's like, oh, I took it. If we look at the security camera, I can find an image of the map and give that to you. Through the course of that, they find out that his wife, who's really young and has large breasts, is had sex with Pearson, and then the the one guy, Fred, is all like, Oh, I'm gonna spend it, oh, it's so good.

SPEAKER_03

And you're just like it's funnier when you did it though. Well, yeah, because it was the Adam Sandler guy.

SPEAKER_02

He's not funny.

SPEAKER_03

Well, yeah, yeah, that's unfortunately true.

SPEAKER_02

So eventually they find it, they print out the map, and then he's like, Okay, I'm gonna give your information to Gus Hayden, who's the greatest tracker in the world. Go to Ecuador, talk to him, he'll only charge you five hundred dollars.

SPEAKER_03

Another, another amount of money. Love that. Real quickly, you we for we gotta say that um the this guy Joe Bob whose wife just got was just having sex with the other guy, he makes Steve's on promise he's gonna punch the other guy in the face. Yes. That sets up one of my favorite scenes in the movie.

SPEAKER_02

I can see that. Um so then they they start out, um, they go somewhere, they stop, and they go some one of them goes and gets some great beaver footage. You're like, okay. Then Peter has to pee, he sees some turkey chicks, and then a turkey runs over there and bites and attaches himself to his dick. You didn't find this funny, dude? I just I want the jokes to I just want the jokes to be well written. You know, I have no problem with the material. I have no problem with juvenile material, but it's just it's so badly written, constantly badly written.

SPEAKER_03

And let me and let me I agree with you because what's funny isn't any of the jokes. What what makes me laugh Steve Zahn, Steve Zahn running out with a giant turkey attached to his junk, and he's just running around screaming, oh my god, and flailing the turkey around. That's not a written joke, that's just Steve Zahn with this appendage making it seem fun. So see I agree with you. The jokes aren't funny, but that visual is funny.

SPEAKER_02

See, you you're you're forgiving in that Steve Zahn's like, I gotta do something because there's nothing here.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly. A hundred percent. They haven't written any jokes. Yeah. Like if you haven't written any jokes, then I gotta do something. Sorry, yeah, yeah.

Shark Montage Saves The Day

SPEAKER_02

There's one part where at the Bigfoot Cave where Steve Zahn just like loses it and throws himself on the ground and everyone else is just sort of standing there, and you're like, uh, Steve will commit as hard as he humanly can. 100%. But then we get to the doctor's office to try to get the turkey off, and it's an it's so here's the thing, right?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, the idea is right. Sort of obviously.

SPEAKER_02

Sort of, you know, I mean it's it's a comedic premise that you could play.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, exactly. Yes. You think well you would think. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So they have to mu they the the nurse starts massaging the turkey's neck, and then the doctor proclaims that he's he's he's hard because and he's like, Well, your nurse is hot, and so then they we do a whole, you know, we'll have a guy do it, because that won't be hot. And then they, you know, none of them want to do it, so eventually they just show. Do a shot of Gemeral Demerall supposedly into the turkey, but not really.

SPEAKER_03

So this this line is very funny. Where so he does the shot of Demerall and Steve Song goes, That went straight into my dick? Doctor, as calm as can be, just says, Well, that really shouldn't have happened. And that is the beginning of what should be the joke. Like, right? That's that's the part, that's the funny line that then should lead to funnier things. And then nothing happens. What's demerol? I don't even know what that is. What is that?

SPEAKER_02

I mean, uh, I'm not entirely sure, but I think I mean I'm after it's like an anesthesia or something, you know. Right.

SPEAKER_03

So shouldn't shouldn't something happen? Shouldn't that lead to something? We have a very funny line, which is that went straight into my dick, very specific. We know where we just shot it, and then I was like, well, that shouldn't have happened. That's gonna be bad, and then it's not bad. That's not good writing. You set up the premise, I'm ready for what's next. What's gonna happen with a demerol dick? I'm ready. And the answer's nothing, nothing happens. Well, very disappointing.

SPEAKER_02

Jonah does a whole thing about blackmailing, setting up a blackmail bit for the turkey, which is did didn't exactly work, but it the premise was funny.

SPEAKER_03

It's so close, it's really close. Because he's he's like, I don't think I think that the the turkey's gay, but he hasn't come out yet. So if we take a picture and show it to his dad, like the idea's funny, and it's so close. And they just someone just was needed to be like, okay, let's fine-tune this because this is funny. Let's let's massage it, let's massage the neck just like we're doing. Um, it's very close.

SPEAKER_02

And then a park ranger and someone else run in and they're all like, That's the turkey we're missing. We're gonna give you a five thousand dollar reward for oh, they were gonna cut its head off, but instead, this person shows up and says, We're gonna give you five thousand dollars for finding it. Um, and so then they pull it.

SPEAKER_03

And they're all just like, let's pull it.

SPEAKER_02

And the dick stretches out to be like 24 inches long.

Final Shots, Outtakes, And Sequel Tease

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. You know, that's a it's a whatever, it's a funny visual, but at that point, I'm so let down from all of the open-ended jokes that they were setting up and not paying off. I was just like, all right, let's get out of here, guys. We ruined it, we blew it, move it.

SPEAKER_02

Let's go. Uh, we go to the Mexico border, the one guy has to bail out because he has drugs. Uh, Fred, it's like, good. Um, Peter does the racist voice again, and which leads to them completely disassembling the RV. And then we do a whole thing where they checked his his rear end for drugs. His anus. Yeah. And he's like, I don't want to talk about it, or something, something. And then Whitaker does a whole, I'm an alcoholic, I stop being an alcoholic, but he keeps drinking, and we sort he sort of then does stop willing, this will be my last beer or something.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know. Yeah. Again, almost funny.

SPEAKER_02

Almost funny. Um, they take a plane, they meet the dick guy, then they do a bunch of dick jokes.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, what was the one I read?

SPEAKER_03

Again, great premise. Great premise. You have the right idea. And I'm sure they just kind of let them say a couple, you know, and just kept the ones that they liked, which is all fine. It's all good.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, what they wrote. Do you even let your dog lick your name? Oh, does the dog want to lick your name or something like that?

SPEAKER_03

Do you ever put peanut butter on your name and let your dog lick it or something like that? Something like that.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, it's kind of funny.

SPEAKER_03

Um, we do some monkey footage. I think that's a Jonah Hill one. I'm pretty sure. Oh, is it? I think it is.

SPEAKER_02

For as terrible as Jonah is, Jonah, I mean, in this movie, his character choice, Jonah's funny.

SPEAKER_03

Jonah Hill is a funny person. They I just think the character's just not it's not fully formed. You know, that's all it is. It's all right.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, we do some monkey footage with some voiceover. I d I didn't write any of it down.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know if I have those. Yeah, that one's it's probably not their strongest, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. It's fine. Then they keep they just keep walking, and then they meet Robert Patrick, and then he does his Vietnam stories of war, and then we do this whole thing about his penis, and then everybody else. Oh no, then we start doing scar stories, and he does this whole thing about his penis, and then he shows us his penis, which is very strange.

What We’re Watching Next

SPEAKER_03

It's all it's all messed up, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um so here's the problem with this scene, right? They're exchanging war stories like they do in action movies. Oh, yeah, I got this scar, buck, buck shot, yeah, blah, blah, blah, right? None of their stories are funny. True. How is that possible? How is it possible that not one of those stories is a joke? I don't get it. I don't understand. Like their stories should be so stupid, right? And then his is like all serious, and then the the twist is that, oh, actually, it's my penis is I sewed it back up myself and it's all twisted. Then we had a nice male Janitalia visual, which is always funny, and then you're out, and that's a great scene. This is I don't I don't understand, Dan. It's gotta be so much easier than they're making it to write silly scar stories. It has to be.

SPEAKER_01

You'd think so.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. They wake up in the next morning, Gus and Cheryl are missing, Peter is angry, and uh Whitaker does a thing and then Jonah punches him in the dick.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah, that's his that's the relief, the relief of tension from here on out is Jonah does the buzzer to the dick, which is great.

SPEAKER_02

They hike, they get to a river, they see a snake, it's raining, it's night, uh, all these noises, they're like it's one of my hold on.

SPEAKER_03

You you did you skip over my favorite joke? Which is the snake, and they're walking under the snake, and Justin Long looks up at the snake and he goes, Oh, a porcupine. Don't know why that's so funny to me, but that made me laugh so hard. So stupid. That was it.

SPEAKER_02

Tony's been dragged into their universe, he's now living there freely. Um, so it's nighttime, they start hearing scarier and scarier noises, and then here comes Cheryl out of the jungle, and they are like, We thought you ran off. And she's like, No, I I saw he was leaving, and then I went with him, and then I had sex with him, and then I got the map back. So here's the map. Yeah, and then they're like, Oh, we have to cross the river, and so they all easily cross the river, but for some reason Dick stops in the middle of the river and stands there until they're on the other side for there's this unknowable reason.

SPEAKER_03

So uh they did it wrong, uh of course, but they wanted the joke to be about the fish, so like the the night before they get the map back, and Dick is like, oh boy, with my know-how and this map, I can get you there. He needs to be killed immediately. Right? Like the joke is we're gonna do it, then he's dead immediately. But then it's this weird we transition to the next day, we're still walking through this stuff, and then he dies. And it's the timing of that is not correct on any level. Um, but they wanted to do the uh the fish joke, which is funny. Yeah, I'll give them that, but then just do that speech somewhere else.

SPEAKER_02

So he gets basically eaten by piranha, and then they have to eat the piranha because they don't have anything, and then they're like, Oh, eating the piranhas like uh eating dick.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Which is funny. Uh the next night they find Pearson's team, they're all dead, they steal their equipment except Pearson. He's cut in half, but he's not dead yet. Tony, you said you like this.

SPEAKER_03

Go. This is uh I love this scene, right? So they show up, the team is massacred, and they're all just very happy, they're having a great time. Love that dichotomy. That guy's alive, and they have a two-minute conversation about how he's supposed to punch him in the face, and Steve Zon's like, I don't, I just feel a little torn about it because he's already dying. It feels rude. They have to punch him in the face, though, Dan. Oh. And it I am so mad that they don't do it. They have the conversation and then they just let him die, and then they walk away as if that never happened. It's like, no, no, no, no. You know what you have to do. You have to have him punch him, a dying man in the face. You have to do it. You set it up twice, you have to give me the payoff, and you don't. So I'm very disappointed. But I like the scene where they're talking about it as he's dying next to them. Um, but you gotta pay it off. You have to just do it. You can't chicken out. You gotta pay that off. I've been waiting for 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_02

I I think they chickened out.

SPEAKER_03

Of course they chickened out.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Uh they hike, they get to an area where they think the cave should be, then they realize the map is backwards, so the cave's on the other side. Steve's on the doesn't make sense. No. But Steve's like, I I can hear him in there, you don't hear anything. He I know he's in there. And then they set up the camera, they start doing the thing, and then um out comes Bigfoot, and they all pull out machine guns and shoot him a thousand times. Murder him?

SPEAKER_03

It's I mean, what can you say? So stupid. Um, I liked it. I thought it was very funny. So stupid. The whole movie leads up to this, and they're just like, oh shit, and then they just murder him. I mean, that's humans, isn't it? That's a that is what would happen. That's pretty great. What would you do? And it leads to a very funny scene.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, the night scene, they all sort of start justifying why they killed him. Self-defense. Self-defense, he made a noise. Jonah does this whole thing about how the French engineered him to kill them.

SPEAKER_03

Right, that part's not funny. That's not a that's one of the misses. That's one of Jonah Hill's misses. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And then they're like, this probably's not the best ending, and then Jonah's like, I have an idea, Peter. So they fly home, they pick up Danny, who's been, you know, who's in the hospital for the seal attack, seal shark attack. Uh, then they're like, okay, we're gonna we're gonna show they go in and show the tape to Jeff Garland to get back on the air, and their tape is their whole thing is they find the cave, they go inside the cave, and Bigfoot has hung himself. And he has it covered in bullet holes, and there he is hanging.

SPEAKER_03

It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Pretty silly. Um, I liked it, made me laugh. That's it. That's no notes, no notes. It's very dumb, it's very funny.

SPEAKER_02

And Garland basically yells at them and they they have to leave.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Uh they go outside, Peter blames Jonah, then everybody yells and fights and fights, yeah. I don't know. It was such a bad thing, it was so such a wrong sort of you know, he should have just dismissed everybody and everybody should have wandered off, I guess. Didn't make a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But they shot Anchorman, they shot a lot of footage on that movie. They shot and shot and shot. That's why it is what it is, is because they shot ten times what they needed, and then they kept the best stuff.

SPEAKER_03

You find your best stuff, and that's kind of how you have to do it.

SPEAKER_02

I bet you this movie did not have the money to shoot and shoot and shoot, and just sort of Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah. You get probably two takes, right? You get one where we do it pretty normal, and one have fun with it, and we'll see what we get. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So boom, now it's been a year. He was talking to his mom, there's a knock at his door, it's Miles or a Sporg nine, and he basically says, you know, back in the past it used to be a lot easier, things are harder now. All you need is one good idea. Um, he's smoking a bowl, there's a goldfish in there, and then he's like, Ah, I should do a show about sharks. So they go, they get everyone, but the last person to get is Fred. Fred's working at a fast food place, and we do a whole thing where instead of ordering, they just convince Fred to come with them, and the whole fast food place hears, but it's not embarrassing or rude or weird, it's just like it's nothing. It's like, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Well, it's it's just confusing because that's not how fast food works. The whole restaurant doesn't hear the person ordering at the window. No, it's not okay, damn, because it they they broke the rules of the universe, and then they don't even use it for like a joke. So what are you doing? If you're gonna break the rules, you better you better damn well make it worth it. That's how I feel.

SPEAKER_02

There it is. Uh they go back to Jeff Garland with the sharks, and then we have the video of them making him laughing at the shark's teeth.

SPEAKER_03

It's a 10 the the shark video alone, just go watch that. I think you can find just the shark one on YouTube, and it's very, very funny. Full of great jokes. Sharks are only found two places in the world, the northern and southern hemispheres. Great joke. I mean, that's a 10 out of 10 joke. And that stupid shark with the messed up teeth. Look at this guy. It's so stupid. Uh, it's great. Go watch it.

SPEAKER_02

And then we also have this footage where they drink a bunch of bad stuff and the shark jumps up and then they barf on the shark.

SPEAKER_03

Barf on him. I I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

And then it comes up again and then it bites Danny's hand off. Yeah, it's bad. And so then uh yeah, Jeff Garland's like, Pearson's dead, so you're back on the air. Then we have the weird outtake of them laughing, which is the final shot of the show.

SPEAKER_03

Final shot of the movie that doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_02

Then we do the setup for a sequel, which was going to be the Loch Ness Monster.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I'd watch it. I think we should probably still make it. Let's let's do it. I mean, if they hire someone.

SPEAKER_02

All of these people are still alive. They hire something different than Fred Wolf. You know, yeah, the 20-year anniversary. Uh we're in a couple years.

SPEAKER_03

We're gonna have to start making that right now. I'm gonna call them up.

SPEAKER_02

And that was the end of the movie. We survived it. I survived it. Hooray!

SPEAKER_03

Do you want a t-shirt? I survived strange wilderness.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Um, so I I am curious on if I mean we'll never know the answers, but I'd love to ask. What's his name? Wolf. Red Wolf. I'd love to ask him if they wrote the sketches, the documentaries first. Did he try to write a movie around? Oh, did he? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03

Well I'm honestly not sure. Oh, okay. They are the best part of the movie for me. I think they're all pretty funny.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I mean That's it. It w yeah, it would be it would be better. It would be better if they if they figured out how to integrate that stuff into this better, you know. Uh-huh. You know, it's like I want to see the Beetle. I want to see them do something on the Beetle, but 100%. They don't, yeah. They do a thing with Latino guys, which doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_03

Not good. Yeah. So wrong choice. Swing and a miss.

SPEAKER_02

Ah, goodbye, movie. Um, now we talk about something we like this week.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

What do you got? Our boy Bert Kreischer has his own sitcom. I think it's on Netflix called Free Bert. What?

SPEAKER_03

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_02

It's great.

SPEAKER_03

It's great. That can't be right.

SPEAKER_02

Bert is great. He I don't know. I don't know about his I don't know about his stand-up comedy. I don't I've never seen any of his stand-up comedy. I watched a whole documentary about some podcast he does with some guy that sounds like it's horrifyingly terrible.

SPEAKER_03

The two bears or whatever.

SPEAKER_02

Oh man, there's a great documentary about that. I think it was on YouTube, like an hour long or something. Oh, really? Oh, it's that whole thing is a mess. Uh Bert. But it's huge. Yeah. Well, it it was huge and now it's kind of going down. Because the other guy's the other guy on it with him is really weird. And Bert's, you know, whatever. But Bert Connect, Bert has writers, man. It is a real written sitcom with jokes. You know what? And it's gorgeous. I refuse to believe this. It is remember they had the terrible Kevin uh Kevin James NASCAR one.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, yeah, yeah. Pit crew.

SPEAKER_02

Pit crew. Looked like a shitty sitcom. You know, I watched that. I watched it. It was what it was. It was a bad sitcom. Yeah. This thing is correct. Great characters, great setups. No. The jokes are great. No. It's wonderful. You're going to watch it. And you know what? You're going to come back next week. You're going to watch it. You're going to be like, I watched the first episode in the beginning of the second episode, and I was like, this show is good.

SPEAKER_03

I refuse to watch it, so I will never believe you.

SPEAKER_02

You have to watch it. You're going to watch it.

SPEAKER_03

I won't do it. I won't do it. You love the machine. We loved the machine. No, the machine was a terrible movie.

SPEAKER_02

It was a terrible movie, but Bert was good in it.

SPEAKER_03

No. You know he was good in it. What do you mean? No, I'm done. I'm over this. You know what's great? Strange Wilderness. That's great.

SPEAKER_02

No, Bert Kreisher is the fan.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I'll watch it.

SPEAKER_02

You're going to love this because you're going to like it a lot. You're not going to like it. You're going to love it. What's Rotten Tomatoes saying about it?

SPEAKER_03

Uh, let's find out. Let's free Bert. Free.

SPEAKER_02

That's what it's called, right? Free Bert?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it is. Free Burt, season one. Rotten Tomatoes. 70% audience score, 60% critic score.

SPEAKER_02

Wrong.

SPEAKER_03

Wrong. Wrong. Erroneous. They don't get it. They don't get Burt. I don't know if I get Burt. I'll tell you later. All right. I'll watch that this week.

SPEAKER_02

Try some Bert. I mean, it's like half an hour. Yes. The episode's like half an hour.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll I'll fill my cup with Bert. It's fine.

SPEAKER_02

So Tony, what have you been? Oh, yeah. And the Chevy Chase documentary. Absolutely worth watching. 100% worth watching. So good. You gotta do it. Um a lot of insight into him. You know, he's a pain in the ass. But he's he's also mostly, you know, it seems like a lot of the time Chevy is right, you know. I mean, there's there's two there's two conflicting things that go on with Chevy. I mean, he's not always right. He always he he always thinks he's right, but he's also, you know, he also knows comedy very well. And the flip side is true, they say something in the documentary where they're like, once once Hollywood gets its hooks in you, yeah, it's got its hooks in you. You know, no matter who you are, how powerful you are, whatever, you get sucked into the situation, and you know, he got sucked into the situation. And also made a bunch of good movies.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, oh, absolutely. No, I there there's a ton of great stuff out there. Should have been more.

SPEAKER_02

And uh and the whole community thing, Dan I Dan Harmon's a freaking asshole. And I don't think he's a good person.

SPEAKER_03

I don't do people think he's I don't think people think that, you know.

SPEAKER_02

That he's a good person.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I feel like everyone kind of agrees that he's probably not.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, okay. I I don't know. But I'm not sure. I guess I'm not sure. I mean, he has a lot of you know, people that are like, hey, Dugger running your comedy genius. And he's you know, he's very, you know, he He's got talent. He's got a lot of talent. But you know, and so they they started making his character more and more racist, and you're just like sure that's weird.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know, make it a lot of things.

SPEAKER_03

That I'm definitely gonna do.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely worth watching. So what do you have for us, Tony? You can have like two or three picks because it's been so long.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I'm not gonna. So I didn't watch anything. Um so what we've been doing actually is we are finally uh we finally watched a show, a little show called Hell's Kitchen. Oh god. Never seen it before in my life. Oh, you never see it. Never once have I I had never seen an episode of Hell's Kitchen. We caught uh a couple episodes of like the newest season, and we were uh hooked. So we've started over at season one, we are now on season four, and we're just cruising through this thing. It is so funny to watch these older seasons of the show. It looks terrible. And he he is he, you know, he has a reputation, right? And he throws out these insults, but if they some of them don't make any sense. And it's so funny because you know, he gets better at it as the seasons go on. Like he starts he starts figuring out like how to insult people a little bit better. It's very it's very interesting to watch. Uh we're having a great time. It's it's a treat. It's a fun show.

SPEAKER_02

You reach a certain point where you've just seen them, you know, have to make that what's the thing? Uh the Beef Wellington. You're just like if I watch another Have to listen to another Beef Wellington failed story. You're just like, I no, I'm done. It's too much.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, well, you absolutely 'cause it's almost every episode. And every season is very hard to cook and make.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to cook just right. You know, it's it's it's gonna be rare, okay? It's a com it's a complex thing to cook, but you know, by the sixth, seventh, eighth season, you're just like, okay. You know just pick something else, guys. Can we can we make something else? Switch up the menu regularly on this show, but no, they don't. No, it's the same menu, I think, maybe the whole time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, very funny. But we're having a good time. Good. Hey. All right, Dan. What do we got? What's over two hours? Tell me what's about to happen.

SPEAKER_02

Took my list, it's two-sided, closed my eyes, flipped it around, flipped it around, flipped it around, stuck the pen on it. Came up with I came up with Transformers 2.

SPEAKER_03

Why two?

SPEAKER_02

It's too bad. I don't know. So then I went and I looked at all the rotten tomatoes and I was like, well, which is the truly the worst one? It's not it's not Bumblebee. Bumblebee's like it's good, Mark.

SPEAKER_03

Bumblebee's supposed to be good.

SPEAKER_02

Because Bumblebee, I read, I read why Bumblebee is good, because the first five minutes there's Transformer bullshit, the last ten minutes there's Transformers bullshit, the rest of the middle is a relationship movie.

SPEAKER_03

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02

So they made they made a movie as opposed to making a Transformers movie. So and it's sure it's Haley Stanfield.

SPEAKER_03

Michael Bay would beg to differ.

SPEAKER_02

So I looked up all the worst ones, and luckily you already own this one. It's called Transformers the Last Night.

SPEAKER_03

This is the longest marking mark.

SPEAKER_02

This is the one where we don't have to watch it.

SPEAKER_03

That's why I bought it, by the way. I have not seen it yet. Oh, you haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so we don't this one we don't have to deal with uh with uh Shia LaBouffe. Shia LeBouff. I mean, at least he's not the star.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, he's great in the first one. Listen, the first one's fun. The first one is a fun movie, it's got a nice balance. Okay, it's all right, yeah. Uh yeah, yeah. No, I'm not saying it's a great film. I'm just saying like it's fine. And then I think they devolve pretty quickly. But again, I haven't watched very many of them.

SPEAKER_02

The Transformess stuff is just so headache inducing because it doesn't look, it's just like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_03

It's just you know, it's just like yeah, it's nonsensical CGI nonsense.

SPEAKER_02

CGI barf all over the place. So but I think Josh Dudamel's in this one too, so you know.

SPEAKER_03

Love that guy. That's a Minnesota guy right there.

SPEAKER_02

But it is like two hours and 25 minutes for yeah, I'm seeing 229.

SPEAKER_03

229, sorry. Woo.

SPEAKER_02

Shaved four off of there. Woo!

SPEAKER_03

Uh all right, let's do this thing. I'm excited. Yeah. I feel like should I watch which number in the series is? Do I have to watch all of them to understand what's gonna happen? Holy crap, really? I'm not gonna watch all of them. That's like 20 hours of film right there.

SPEAKER_02

Just uh yeah, it's a lot of lot of a lot of film.

SPEAKER_03

I love it. It's gonna be great.

SPEAKER_02

Oh um, anything else you need to report, Tony?

SPEAKER_03

I don't think so. I'm gonna go watch Strange Wilderness again. Just the shark part. I don't know why it's so funny. It's good stuff. It's these sharks are attack are attacking Nicole Ritchie.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, we did make the Nicole Richie joke. You're like that. That was gonna hold up in 20 years. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

People probably don't even know who she is anymore. Oh, it's Craig. No, they don't.

SPEAKER_02

They do not. Okay, if you like what we do, give us a thumbs up, uh, subscribe, or you can leave a comment. And um, we'll be back, we'll be back possibly next week if Tony can get his life together.

SPEAKER_03

We're back next week, baby. We're back for Transformers the Less Night. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_00

Goodbye, everybody.