Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Werewolves: Don't Forget Your Moonscreen
A supermoon turns the world wild, Frank Grillo grabs a shotgun, and we grab our notes. We break down Werewolves with the kind of scene-by-scene nitpicks and love for schlock that only come from watching too many creature features at 2 a.m. The premise is killer—moonlight triggers global transformations—but the movie keeps stepping on its own paws with lens-flare-heavy cinematography, shaky rules, and a finale that forgets what it promised. So we do what we do best: call out the misses, celebrate the moments that rip, and map the small rewrites that would turn this into a cult favorite.
We start with the visuals: anamorphic flares, exploding bulbs, and Steadicam sweeps that look expensive but rarely build dread. From there, we tackle the lore. What actually kills these wolves? How long does “moonscreen” last? Why does a pack stage a clever trap in one scene, then forget to smell a human under a car the next? Clean rules make scary movies scarier. We even offer a fix for the ending: plant one hesitation beat earlier—have a turned husband falter at his wife’s voice—so the final showdown feels earned instead of random.
It’s not all gripes. We shout out the birdbath eye-rinse gag, the alley car-charge, and a soft-focus kitchen reveal that delivers honest chills. We also dig into transformations and why practical effects matter in werewolf cinema, offer a better ammo plan for the beleaguered mom, and unpack how a “dominate the pack” idea could have reshaped the third act. If you love creature features, script logic, or just want to laugh at a billion-wolf apocalypse set in a Florida that isn’t, you’re home.
Hit play, then tell us your favorite werewolf movie and the one rule it nails. If you’re new, subscribe for weekly horror rants, rewrites, and the occasional Superman heresy. If you’re a regular, drop a review—it helps other monster nerds find us.
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Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus.
SPEAKER_04:I wish I was a parrot. What a life that would be. Oh man.
SPEAKER_03:Polly won a cracker.
SPEAKER_04:I love crackers, dude.
SPEAKER_02:Did you ever have those uh the what you want to call them ones? The uh animal crackers. Those aren't crackers or cookies. The biscuits, eh? They're like uh they're like saltines, but they have they're like wheat ones.
SPEAKER_04:So they kind of have like a well first of all, I would if it they're made out of wheat, I didn't have them, because that's trash.
SPEAKER_03:I don't need wheat, I don't need whole grains. I need some sugar and flour. That's all I need.
SPEAKER_02:Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony.
unknown:I'm Dick.
SPEAKER_03:We're being very gentle today. I am hello everyone. My name's Tony. Thanks for joining us.
SPEAKER_02:Well, we don't want to get people too excited because it's gonna be a spooky show because we watched the scary movie.
SPEAKER_03:So scary, man. Hey, you know what? Hold it. Here's the thing. I'll say there was a little spookier than Freddie versus Jason. Not that that's a high bar, but there were a couple moments in here. I was like, oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02:But you're gonna have to have to put it in.
SPEAKER_03:There was a little tension. It wasn't scary, but I was like, there's a little dramatic tension here. That's uh that's that's a step up from Freddie versus Jason. No, you didn't think so. I gotta put you in this closet.
SPEAKER_02:Now I'm gonna put you in this this wardrobe. Now I'm gonna put you over here. Oh.
SPEAKER_03:Where's that kid gonna go? I don't know. You never know where the kid is. It's great.
SPEAKER_02:Here's a couch that's right against the wall behind the couch.
SPEAKER_00:That's one of my favorite parts.
SPEAKER_03:It's like, uh, that's a bad idea, Ma. Bad idea. If it helps, I never believed her as a mother the whole movie, so it's fine. A babysitter, maybe. She did not give motherly energy to the daughter.
SPEAKER_02:Now, my question is, you got you got your you got your heroin. We're doing what what what why don't we tell them what we're doing, Tom?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, sorry, everybody. Hey, thanks for joining us. We're this week. We're uh we're doing Frank Grillo's werewolves. Oh, I 2024, I think, right? Just last year, right?
SPEAKER_02:Hour and 32 minutes. Uh as a wrap up to last week's uh James Guns is a superman. Oh uh you called that right. Uh we have we have six thumbs down and two thumbs up.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so I told you, dude. I knew people were gonna be so mad. That movie, not very good. I'm sorry. I've I thought about it for another week. I still don't like it.
SPEAKER_02:I I'm putting it in a B minus.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that's I'm in the C range for sure. Yeah, but I'm okay with a B minus. I'm not saying that it's a terrible movie, it's better than werewolves, right? Like, let's let's have some perspective, people. But is it the best superhero movie I've ever seen? No, no, it's not. It's like it's okay.
SPEAKER_02:It it's right, it's right around the middle, you know.
SPEAKER_03:There are there are worse ways to spend an evening, right? But like I don't need to do it again. I'm not I'm not chomping at the bit to see Superman. I'm just doing werewolf talk now to set the scene for everybody.
SPEAKER_02:It's not Eternals bad.
SPEAKER_04:No, no, it's not. I will never watch that movie again.
SPEAKER_03:If you had told me to watch that twice for the show, I probably wouldn't have done it, right? Superman I watched twice. So there you go.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, uh back to werewolves, Frank Grillo. You know Frank Grillo from being the guy that fought with Superman, I mean fought with Captain America in the elevator.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, great. And he was in Superman, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:He's Ric Flag Senior Senior, I think.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he's Rick Flag Senior.
SPEAKER_02:So um he's all over the place.
SPEAKER_03:He I don't, you know, is he an actor? I he's kind of an action star, but not a star. He's like an action actor.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, he he's an action actor. So you're probably not gonna sit him down and say, you know, let's let's do the glass menagerie or something.
SPEAKER_03:You know, you're not uh sure, but it you know, you gotta love that when they're like, well, he's a m a biologist. Um what is he in this movie? He's like a microbiologist or something. You're like says anything biologisty, you know, it's fine.
SPEAKER_02:It's great. You know, it's like it's like casting Tony as like a scientist or you know, someone with an amount of knowledge.
SPEAKER_03:I could hold a beaker, people would get it. They don't even try. He's just have to just take his shirt off at some point. They're like, see, biologist ripped his shit. That doesn't make any sense. Um I love it.
SPEAKER_02:I got a quick question, which, you know, doesn't really, you know, we could do it when when they're in the lab and they're getting out of the lab, Frank Grillo, they're all wearing the they're wearing the blue suits, you know, with the head masks. Yeah, his suit just sort of disappears.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, he just ditches it in between scenes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So it's an in-between scenes thing. I didn't miss it.
SPEAKER_03:I assume at some point they just misplaced the wardrobe and they're like, ah, he'll just be without it for this scene. Don't worry about it. And then they just keep going. Because that's but this movie doesn't really care about the details. And that's fine. If you're gonna ask me, you know what? Let's talk about this again, Superman, real quickly. Yeah, which movie's better? Superman, better movie by uh a Maya. Which movie did I have more fun watching? Werewolves, not even close. I would watch Werewolves a hundred times before I watch Superman again, but I know that it's not a better movie, that's not what it's about. Yeah, this movie is so close for me, it's so close to being a perfect schlocky horror film. It just messes up a couple of very huge things that just make it, you know, really bad. Um, but it's very close. I had a great time. I'm excited to hear what you think about this movie because I will tell you, spoiler alert, Naomi hated it, checked out after like 30 minutes, didn't even look up from her phone.
SPEAKER_02:I'm more in the Naomi camp. Um, you know, like these kind of movies, I I get to the point where I just am kind of looking at my phone, kind of watching, taking my notes. Sure. Yeah, and occasionally there's like a good line, and you're like, oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03:There were a couple of bangers in that.
SPEAKER_02:There's a few good lines. There were two scenes. I think there were two scenes that I kind of liked. Oh, I can't wait to hear about them. I'm so excited.
SPEAKER_03:That excites me.
SPEAKER_02:And uh, you know, they once again they don't they never pay anything off.
SPEAKER_03:And nope, and that's a that's a big problem for me. Yeah. Uh where do you think this movie was shot? Not in America. That would be my first guess. I don't know where exactly, but every time they did like an oh like a shot outside, I was like, no, that doesn't feel like it's here, which is great because he's in like the US military.
SPEAKER_02:It's supposed to be Florida. And I was like, I thought it was LA because I was like, there was some stuff that you were like, okay, these houses totally could be in LA. Sure. I buy them. Sure. But Florida, I don't know Florida well. Uh Puerto Rico.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. See, I was gonna say Mexico, but uh Puerto Rico is good.
SPEAKER_02:That makes more sense, and it makes sense because there are things that look fairly American, but also a little foreign. So you're like, oh, but not right.
SPEAKER_03:It's like kind of, but also not at the same time. That's great. I love that for them. I hope it was cheaper. I hope they got a lot of tax credits, you know? Yeah. So before we start, Dan, I have a question to ask you. Um, just visually, cinematography. How did you okay, yeah, okay?
SPEAKER_02:So at a certain point in the movie, there's not a scene where there isn't a flashing light. There's so much lens, so much lens flare. You're like So that's the thing. I will say this the lens flare made it look a little more expensive than other movies.
SPEAKER_03:I think. Here's the thing. I think that they think that as well, Dan. So not to like I we never do this, but I need to I need to send a message to Brandon Cox, who was the cinematographer on this film. I need you to take the anamorphic lens that you clearly got as a birthday present from your girlfriend or something, and you're just like, oh, I need to use it in every fucking scene, throw it in the trash, bro. You don't know how to use it, you're wielding a power just like a crazy person. You gotta stop. You gotta stop. There are times that it works, right? Because it adds a dramatic uh element to it. It also, one thing that uh those lens flares can do is hide imperfections, right? Sure. So, like some of the werewolf shots, it's a great place to use it. So you don't want to see too much of that werewolf. They are very proud of these werewolves, they're not good. But if we're just in a house and there's a window and I can't even see your actor because your lens flares are just all over the place. It looks like she's like covered 90% like a mummy. That's not okay. You just use a different lens, but it's okay. You don't have to use it every scene.
SPEAKER_02:My my favorites were the crazy tracking scenes through the house that didn't lead anywhere that just like you know, they were like, you like you do a tracking scene to get something, you know. You you know, you're doing uh what's his name, Evil Dead, you track it through the woods, you get to something. Or you you know, you're setting up the thing so that when the thing starts happening, you're you're in the right hyped-up mode. Yeah. No, they would hype you up with this movement and then just be like, uh, cutscene.
SPEAKER_03:Yep, yeah. No, they rented a steady cam. Again, I think they just here's what I really think it is. I think they were like, we have some money, we're gonna rent some gear, and since we rented it, we have to use it. So someone was like, Yeah, I've got I I rented this steady cam. Let's just walk around for a while. Let's do a whole day of just walking around and we'll just put it in the movie somewhere. It's just it feels like a bunch of amateurs like making a decently funded independent film, you know, and it takes you out of it every once in a while. I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_02:It does. When they have the the woman Lucy in the house, when she goes, you know, from the living room to go to where she stores the the shells, you know. She the shells she she's like, Well, I didn't take all the shells with me. I left four of them in the kitchen. Four. She goes back to-just put them in your pocket. Just put those four in your pocket, pal. We take that trip like three times. Three times. Yep. I don't know. I don't know if we need to keep and I mean, not to put this lady on blast. She uses all the shells and never shoots anything.
SPEAKER_03:She, I mean, those last four, she just fires into the wall. That's crazy. Well, she she fires them into the roof, making things more dangerous for herself and not accomplishing anything. Let's bring in a little moonlight bitches. Yeah. Uh, I mean, there are this movie. This fucking movie, man. Uh but there's some great stuff in here. Just gonna say that. Uh like I said, there's two scenes that I thought were interesting funny. I yeah, I can't wait because I've got way more than two scenes that I enjoyed, but um, okay.
SPEAKER_02:Uh yeah, I was just thinking of that. Did you ever watch Alien Romulus?
SPEAKER_03:Uh no.
SPEAKER_02:I don't think we're there yet.
SPEAKER_03:We're not there yet. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Super fun. But in different environments, they play with different things, you know, like gravity and and in each each sort of thing, they'd sort of, you know, dear be dealing with something. In this one, we have moonlight is dangerous. We never really deal with it. We never we never we we we kind of play like we're dealing with. They'll look up at the moon and say, eh, it's dangerous. We better do something about it. And then they do you're like, well, wait a second. Almost nothing. Yeah. What are you gonna do? So I think that was the most disappointing thing of the whole movie for me is that they didn't they weren't guided by the restrictions that their own stupid parameters and it this would have been a better movie if if you saw five or six times during the movie they were doing something and you were like, oh, okay, you know, but you didn't like the tarps as they ran down the street, Dan.
SPEAKER_03:We'll talk about the tarps in a second.
SPEAKER_02:Um I I mean I I liked it, but you gotta you gotta do it right. Well, okay. Let's talk about the movie.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, they do oh yeah, we'll we'll get there in about an hour. Well, there's a lot to talk about here, Dan.
SPEAKER_02:So boom, we s we set up with the setup. The setup is one year ago we had a supermoon, which is where the moon is closest to the earth and the moon looks big. It's a thing that's been happening the entirety of existence, but this time it decided to trigger the DNA of everyone on the planet. And if you saw the moon, you turned into a werewolf. And then you killed the wheel.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you're done.
SPEAKER_02:And I I believe it said one billion people turned into werewolves.
SPEAKER_03:So it did say that. And I at that point I turned to my wife and I was like, how many people are on the planet? Because I that felt like a lot, doesn't it? Yes. Why are there why are there one billion people outside at night, anyhow? Are there that many people outside? I'm never outside at night. I don't know, man. I I have a dog.
SPEAKER_02:I'm I'm outside every day.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, you're taking walks. You're turned. You're turned, dude. I'm inside. I'll tell you what, as soon as that sun starts setting, I'm like, I'm done leaving the house. I'm gonna watch TV for the next four hours and then go to bed.
SPEAKER_02:So I mean, what Tony, look it up really quick, how many what the population of the planet is. I think maybe it's like six billion or something, eight billion?
unknown:I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:Population of Earth. What's the population of Earth? Eight, it's about eight billion.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, so we're talking one in eight people? That's 50% of the people. If 50% of the people turned into the werewolves, we'd all be dead.
SPEAKER_03:There's no one left. There's not a soul left on Earth. I'm sorry. That's too many people.
SPEAKER_02:Maybe a few military installations, maybe a few things that are blah, blah, blah. But they're coming into my house, they're killing, you're just killing me within seconds.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. My whole family. Except much of Frank Grillo.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, there's gonna be a couple of Frank Grills, but through the course of this movie, we see that guns fairly ineffective against the game. Ineffective.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, totally. 100%. Um yeah, how do we how many do we kill, do we think? I mean, we shred a couple with that like machine gun that they've got, which is pretty fun. Um I don't know. It's interesting stuff.
SPEAKER_02:But they're but it doesn't even seem to be overly effective on that machine. The machine gun doesn't seem overly effective.
SPEAKER_03:No, it has to shoot it eight, twenty times, right? Like it's like yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:But Frank Hill shoots them with a car. They're just dead. Right. Uh bounce off on that. Axe to the back of the head of werewolf kills a werewolf.
SPEAKER_03:That I mean, I wonder if that's like a brainstem thing, you know. Maybe a brainstem sever would work. I I don't know. I there's no what's my problem? There's no um kill lore in this movie. No, you know, not that I don't want a silver bullet. This is not a movie that you need a silver bullet because there are one billion werewolves. You don't have enough silver bullets on earth, my friend. But I need to know what kills them, you know? Like what what's effective? There's a there's that wolf spray that they use to I don't think actually works. I like they get a little they use bear spray on him one time. Bear spray, that's what it is. Okay, they get kind of upset, but not really.
SPEAKER_02:Bear spray, no effect.
SPEAKER_03:Um electricity does a little, it it seems. No, not really. I mean, doesn't really seem.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, we have an electrical fence. We don't we'll talk about at one point we they've got the electrical fence around there, but they just show one of the werewolves up in the tree. You're just like, yeah, they would just hop up in a tree, climb up over the fence. That's fine. It makes sense. Like without a thought. You know, if you're really making this movie, you'd have the electrical fence kill one, ah, then they learn.
SPEAKER_03:But they're he does he puts the girl into the electrical fence at one point. Remember? Do you remember that? Oh he like he shoves the girl into, but at the at the same time, that is the neighbor, and he already knows about the electrical fence. So like I didn't, I was like, Well, why are you doing you know what that is, bro? You you were there when he set it up. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04:This movie's Looney Tunes.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So then we have Lou Diamond Phillips, who we're never told who he is or what he is, or what powers he has, and he's like stay inside. So he's our he's our not here's our not the president, but maybe the scientist, head of scientists guy.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yes. The the facsimile of being head of the CDC, right? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So we'rewolves. We meet our we meet our our team, well, not our team, we meet the the three people we're supposed to care about. Wesley, who is the brother of the dead husband of Lucy and their daughter Emma.
SPEAKER_03:Great. Did not know the daughter's name at all, but great.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Uh so basically they're gonna stay in their house in the ghetto or in the the low rent part of the world. Because her husband was a firefighter. That means they live someplace shitty. Yeah, I guess maybe they didn't get the pension. I don't know how things work. She forgot to sign the paperwork for the pension.
SPEAKER_03:Ah, I forgot. You can't get it now. It's too late. It's too late, lady.
SPEAKER_02:Um, and then he's got to go to work because he's the cheat the second highest scientist in the United States dealing with werewolves, which is basically one tiny lab that about a hundred people maybe work in. That's a hundred people.
SPEAKER_03:You know, a billion people changing the werewolves, a hundred people working on we don't need to worry about it that much, you know. Like just one little tiny research lab will do just fine.
SPEAKER_02:Um, so it starts out with Frank Grillo out there, Frank Grillowing setting up bear traps, electrifying the chain link fence, paper pepper spray, uh, sprinkler, yeah, electricity, and then his her their weird neighbor is this guy with a machine gun who's like hoorah, hoorah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. And just shooting guns out in the middle of the day to practice, I guess. Great stuff.
SPEAKER_02:You gotta practice your machine gun. Just hold the button down, dude. You know, it'll be fine. Um, and then there's the neighbor girl, Reagan, who brings them cookies.
SPEAKER_03:Cookies to cheer them up?
SPEAKER_02:To cheer them up the night before everyone's gonna die.
SPEAKER_04:What? That doesn't make any sense.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you have to meet her. You get you gotta meet her, otherwise later on you won't care about her death. Spoiler alert, I don't care about her death at all.
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_02:Um Wesley goes over to see Cody, the neighbor, and say cool it with the machine guns, and he's all like, We're all soldiers now. You used to be a soldier, we're all soldiers. Tonight it's every man for himself. Woo-hoo!
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, okay, guy. He's um he's problematic, to say the least, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02:Uh it's good when he turns into a werewolf, so we don't have to hear him talking anymore.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and also he wears that cool wolf hunter shirt or thing, and the werewolf gets to keep that. I loved that. That was great.
SPEAKER_02:That it was a it was a smart move to sort of carry over things like that so that you you knew who the specific couple of werewolves were.
SPEAKER_04:Exactly.
SPEAKER_02:Um Lucy the mom has this self-help tape mantra that she's like you're you're strong, you're a badass.
SPEAKER_03:You're a protector of this house, your family, blah blah. It's like, what's going on? I don't know what's going on with you, lady.
SPEAKER_02:We don't watch her achieve this. We just she seems like a hard ass from the beginning. Anytime she is acting like she's not a hard ass, you're like, that's that that's not the character.
SPEAKER_03:Nope. And so it's not the character you built, it's not the character for this movie. It's weird.
SPEAKER_02:And she does it, she listens to it three times or mantras it three times, and there is no change in her state between the three times.
SPEAKER_03:That's correct. Yeah. That's that's right.
SPEAKER_02:Correct. There's there's no change. This character. Uh he Wes has to give her a shotgun and say, This is a shotgun. Yeah, I think she gets a shot. Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_03:She knows how to use it. Yeah, it's fine. Actually, she doesn't because she wastes all of her shot. No, she knows how to use it. She doesn't know when to use it. I think that's the difference. She did just find shooting the gun and cocking and shooting, you know, just into nothing.
SPEAKER_02:Um he they're like, why can't you stay? And he's like, they need me to try to stop this.
SPEAKER_04:Yep.
SPEAKER_02:Uh, you know, if if Shannon came in there and she's all like, you know, I'm the only one who can do the thing, I'd be like, peace out. Good luck. Uh please save us. Good luck, please.
SPEAKER_03:Please stop this uh pandemic of werewolves. I know it. I'm likely to die tonight, and you know, that's cool, but here's what I kind of don't believe is that he wouldn't be able to bring them to the safe house. You know what I mean? Oh, to the lab? Well, they would have died. Well, no, I'm agreed. Obviously, their lab is a piece of shit. Like, there's there's no denying they made a terrible lab with no safety measures whatsoever. But I do believe that two, uh, a woman and a child would be able to go to a place theoretically safe with the government. I don't know if that's true or not, but I feel like it is.
SPEAKER_02:But if they went, they'd be dead.
SPEAKER_03:They would absolutely everyone should be dead in that lab. It's it's made of plastic.
SPEAKER_02:He does a little three little pig thing where if you're in a brick house, you're safe, and he seems to imply that this is a brick house. Is this a brick house?
SPEAKER_03:The so the only part that I believe is brick is the bricks that he put up that he later breaks through. I think that all of that is just because at some point they built a little brick covering for the door, and then we're like, we're gonna break that down like the three pigs.
SPEAKER_02:So I think that's it. Analogy equals bad.
SPEAKER_03:Because the outside, when he's outside, it's not brick, right? Like it's just like a regular wooden-paneled house, I'm pretty sure.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So boom, we get he goes to work, we find out that Wesley's like a biologist. There's this other woman, Amy, and then another woman that looks kind of like Amy. So we have these two women that are that have similar hairstyles and similar looks, and we're not quite sure who's who when they cut between them, and we're not sure Don't worry about it. But different things. You're not gonna need to know from so it they've it's gonna be moon for nine hours, uh, but they've in they've they've made up something to protect you from becoming a wolf. Tony, what is it?
SPEAKER_03:Well, as you might imagine, it is aptly named Moon Screen. And what how does it work, Tony? I don't know, you just spray it on. You spray it on. I guess it's a lot like the aerosol sunscreens, right? Yes, you know, um, which never work, by the way. Uh every time I use a spray one, there's spots where I get burnt. Is this is this is this only me? I feel like it's so hard to know what you've got and not got when you're doing this sprays. I'll always have like a line down the side of my arm that just gets sunburned. It's like, how did I miss one tiny little piece? So I think all of these people are dead. I think all of these people turn immediately. How much of this moonscreen do they have? I it depends on when you when you're at in the movie, because in the beginning it seems like they have giant canisters of it, but then he's got just one little bottle for the rest of the movie. Um, and again, I don't think that's that big. I think that that would be used up pretty quickly.
SPEAKER_02:And this in this lab, they've got these cages, they've got test subject number three, who is Amy's husband, who I guess got werewolf the first time, and we sort of set up that the people that got werewolf the first time and that didn't die, they are addicted to moon, so they're gonna try to get to the moon.
SPEAKER_03:So, I mean, they said that, but no, there was only like two people that seemed to feel that way. Yeah. Right? Because the husband didn't feel that way. Nope. But that's what's interesting is they say the line that's like, he's an addict without a fix, and they're talking about the husband, but he's super chill. He's just in the cage, it's like, let's do this, yeah, let's help these people, let's do this for science, for science, everybody.
SPEAKER_01:And then the guy next to him is like, you gotta have some sort of consistency somewhere, right?
SPEAKER_03:Like, if they are addicted to it, which is the dumbest thing you could possibly do, um, they have to all be addicted, right? Like, I don't, there's no you set up a rule and then immediately are like, well, that's not true. I don't I don't understand what you're talking about because I'm looking at this guy, he's not an addict. I'm sorry. No, I don't know. Who knows?
SPEAKER_02:Not me. Okay. Uh what's his name calls? Five minutes, five minutes, hope this works. They they open the the canopy there to let the sunlight, oh, they spray them down, then they open, but they put special drops in their eyes first.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and that's because you have to close your eyes, right? To get the spray. So, like the eye drops have to be a different formula. Is that it?
SPEAKER_02:Because every other time that anybody uses it, it that we don't do the eye drops. So we don't care about that.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:We're spending precious time talking about eye drops. They open the moon thing and it works. Everyone's smiling. Oh my god, it works, it's incredible.
SPEAKER_03:Not everyone is smiling. The crazy guy, one of the crazy guys, goes, What's happening? Which is the funniest, because nothing's happening. And he's somehow like, you are in an experiment, guy, to stop the transformation. So you know what's going on. You can't be like, What's happening? What's happening? Why is this not working? You're covered in moon screen, dude. The whole point is it for not to happen. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:It's so weird. So they're properly moonscreened.
SPEAKER_03:Um, and then moonscreen. That's what the movie should have been called, by the way.
SPEAKER_04:Just moonscreen. I would have seen that in a heartbeat.
SPEAKER_02:Should not have been called that. Uh, back at the house, they lose power. And now we're gonna go check in on Reagan, the next door neighbor. Her house looks like they've done nothing to do with the house. They literally didn't.
SPEAKER_03:There's no boards, the windows open, the door's unlocked, from what I could tell. What's does not everybody know it's the supermoon? I don't understand what's going on. She brought cookies and it's like, hey, it's the supermoon. Wherrels are coming. Here's some cookies to be feel better. I'm gonna go back to my house that is not secure at all. And she's carrying the box of the bowl of popcorn, like just another night. It's so weird. Like, what is happening? It's bizarre. But having said that, this is one of my favorite shots of the movie coming up.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, what is it?
SPEAKER_03:It's when she is backing up, backing up, and then they pan to the kitchen and she's in focus. The kitchen's not, and the werewolf kind of stands up in the background. It's a nice looking shot. The best time to see these werewolves is when they're in soft focus in the background. Because when she gets close up, they look like shit. But in the background, they look nice. It's foreboding, it's nice, it's cute. I liked it. I thought it was a good shot.
SPEAKER_02:Um, we go back to the lab. One hour has passed, and lo and behold, the moon screen is not working, and they all start turning into wherewith. Stan. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You know, because sunscreen has like a rule where you're like, you have to reapply every so often. Did they not think that moonscreen would also have a similar rule to it? Well, they're like they're learning that they're learning that rule right now. So they're purposely letting this happen. That's why you're telling me they're like, we need to know how long it lasts. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:No, they're just like, eh, whatever. Okay. They're all transforming. That's great. They try to spray them again, that doesn't do any good. They try and close the roof, that doesn't do any good.
SPEAKER_03:So here's what happened. When he tries to spray him, he brings the thing. Close enough where the werewolf could just reach out and grab the spraying machine. How do you not plan for that? You know they're gonna turn into werewolves. You need to put up things that like barriers. Uh, but they let it so he gets too close, he grabs the thing, and then they have an arm transformation. We need to talk about the transformations in a second. And then the guy throws it and it spins on its axis thing and then hits a different uh cage and breaks. How do you not plan for these things? Why is the cage close enough that this thing would hit it? It's this whole this whole lab is made by idiots. None of it is made to securely hold a werewolf whatsoever. You this is a year's work of these people. These people are terrible scientists.
SPEAKER_02:Now, do the werewolves just break out of the cages? I didn't know.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, because the cages aren't secure whatsoever. They just kind of tear them apart. Okay, it's weird.
SPEAKER_02:Why don't you talk about the uh the special effects of the transformations?
SPEAKER_03:So here's the thing werewolf movies. The most important part of a werewolf movie is the werewolf transformation. Why? It has to be cool because that's why we're all here. If you're watching a werewolf movie, you want to see these people turn into werewolves. It has to be gruesome, it has to be painful, and it has to look cool. It can't look like a cartoon when the rest of your movie is in live action, okay? You need you need to do, you have to mix practical effects in there. I know it's hard, I know it costs money, but this is the most important thing. And they know it's so important because they literally put these people in cages, so we have to watch the transformations. They think these look good. That's my problem. They're like, look at the shit we came up with. We're gonna put it dead center and make you watch the whole thing. If you can't afford a transformation, don't show it all. That's the rule. Because as soon as I see these like CGI hairs coming out and your eyes doing something, it's like, nope, this is dumb. You've ruined it. You've ruined the whole movie for me. Uh, this is my problem number one. You gotta do a good transformation in a werewolf movie. It's the most important part of your movie. Um, they botched it. They botched it, dude.
SPEAKER_02:That was number one.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah. Number two, we'll get to number two towards the end because there's a very, very, very simple fix to make this ending that makes no sense whatsoever. Make perfect sense in the universe.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, well, there you go. That's good. Um, okay, so let's see. Blue Diamond Phillips suit gets ripped. I'm assuming that means he gets killed.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he turns because the sunlight sneaks into his little his little hole.
SPEAKER_02:His little hole. Random assistant gets slashed, they machine gun, they try and save him. Uh let's let's let's do the talk about the thing I like to call random adr.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:This movie likes to have, you know, I'm sitting here and I'll hear I'll hear, oh my god, what happened to him? Oh Jesus, oh, look at that. There's something going on over here that's really bad.
SPEAKER_03:And so the problem with that, Dan, right?
SPEAKER_02:Is that just different things?
SPEAKER_03:They have a lot of it because what they do, I assume, I've never been a part of this. This is not something I've done. I assume they just bottle those, right? So they'll just like bring you to a booth, a random person, and they're just like, say all of these lines, and we will just add them randomly to the movie. It's not like they watch the cut of the film and they're like, oh shit, this moment needs someone off-screen explaining something. That's how you use that ADR effectively. It's like it needs something so the audience understands what's happening. But this is just like, just say some shit. You just you're scared, just say stuff and we'll just we'll loop it. We'll loop it in the background. It doesn't make any sense. We don't, first of all, half the time, there's not even people other places, right? So these voices are just ghosts in the machine somewhere. Ghosts doesn't make any sense.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's great, terrible. It's bad stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, it's good. Um, oh yeah, and I wrote flashing lights to make everything more exciting.
SPEAKER_03:Well, not only that, but they like to like um they need the darkness everyone. So like the light comes on, but the darkness helps hide the imperfections, you know. So it's like it's one of those things you do to like make a cheap thing look less cheap, is that you don't show it all in the light.
SPEAKER_02:Now, Tony. Yeah. There's exploding light bulbs.
SPEAKER_03:Everywhere. And it follows them. So I am I am to believe one of them has magical powers, by the way. I don't know if we've talked about that yet. But she there, the three of them are like walking down a hallway, and it's like 11 from Stranger Things, where like wherever she wherever they go, the light bulb is exploding. I've never had a light bulb explode on me. I don't know if you've had this happen to you. Um, I don't know what causes it. I don't know how that works. But it I don't think that it goes in succession like that, following them down a hallway. It's very weird.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, here's like my favorite, one of my favorite things. So maybe there's three things I really oh, you have three things.
SPEAKER_03:See, you're just adding stuff. This movie's good, dude.
SPEAKER_02:They're trapped in a hallway, there's a door out, and uh to use the door, you have to use a scan card.
SPEAKER_03:Scan card.
SPEAKER_02:Amy being a stupid woman. Oh, I can't scan it. Oh, Frank Grillo has to take the scan card from her. Give me the card. Beep, beep, beep, boom. If you're just like bizarre. No, I mean, there's no reason for this. There's no reason for for a man to have to have to take a woman's scam card to save the street.
SPEAKER_03:Well, so my problem, another big problem I have in this, is that he has to save everybody. Nobody can save themselves. Like the mom, he has to end up coming in the end. She should be doing fine. He should still want to get to her. She should be kicking some ass. It's just too much, right? Like one person can't possibly do it, but she's doing very well. She does terribly, which we'll talk about later.
SPEAKER_02:She has zero successes, I believe.
SPEAKER_03:She has no survival skills whatsoever. Um, and I just I think that's a real missed opportunity. He doesn't need to save everybody, but he does need to get back to them to help. That's that's a fine story, but she can't be useless. Um, and then this woman, also useless. Everyone's useless except for Frank Grillo. And that's nope. That's not okay. It's 2024. That's not right. It's pretty dopey. Uh now I will say, Dan, I need you to remember this scene. So they're trying to get into the, they're in the hallway, they're trying to get into the next room. Her husband as a werewolf appears. And you know this because he has the collar on. So you know it's her husband. Sure. She shoots a tank of steam or something, and he's like, ah, and then Frank steals the keycard and gets in. Got it. That's very important to the end of the movie. So put a pin in that for now.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Uh, meanwhile, back at the house, Thurka said there's a werewolf in the tree. She's got cameras, so she's using cameras. We cut back, they try to save Evan. I think it was the assistant guy that they had, and they're like, breathe, breathe.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, because he's cut open and bleeding out or whatever. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And then stupid Amy, who they're safe in this room, says, I gotta go save my husband. He's turned into a werewolf.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Duh. Because that was the experiment that he signed up for.
SPEAKER_02:So how are you gonna save him?
SPEAKER_03:I gotta run out into the hallway and save him. Yep, you can't do it. There's nothing to do. You just gotta let it you gotta let it play its course. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um boom. It's time to go. They're gonna use the formula. Good. Get out of there. Let's go. Um get out of there. The werewolves throw a refrigerator through the crazy machine gun neighbor's window and but do they, Dan?
SPEAKER_03:Do they? Because not a single werewolf comes into the house at that point.
SPEAKER_02:No, because they wanted to turn him into a werewolf.
SPEAKER_03:Because he's like their kin. But are do they? Because there is no other moment in this movie where a werewolf plans out how to turn another person. Well, I see, but these are the problems I have with the movie because you have to set up very specific rules, right? Like, now are these werewolves trying to turn their other people? Or, like, is their goal as a werewolf to turn as many people as they can? Because most of them are just killing every person that they see. Why would they then throw a refrigerator and be like, come out into the light, my friend? Doesn't make any sense. Those two things don't make any sense. Your werewolves gotta have to have a want. They have to have a want. They are a character. He turns into a werewolf.
SPEAKER_04:Yep, yeah, he does.
SPEAKER_02:Back at the lab, they change their clothes into clothes that doesn't have helmets to so that they Yeah, yeah. They want to be less safe as they go out into the world.
SPEAKER_04:That's the plan.
SPEAKER_02:They put on the moon screen. Oh, they s then they see Miles and they gas him.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, okay. Maybe I had that the wrong direction then. Maybe that's when they come out. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:And they get in a car and they drive away, and then they call stupid Lucy, and of course, she be is a woman. She starts panicking on the phone.
SPEAKER_03:Just bawling on the phone. Nothing's even happening yet. Yep. But Reagan shows up at the door.
SPEAKER_02:Let me in. Let me in. Let me in. And he's like, don't answer it. Don't answer it. And then she gets eaten.
SPEAKER_03:Yep. Problem number two, Dan. Yeah. She needs to be bait, right? That's what I would say, right? You would think. And the reason why you think that is because they threw a refrigerator through the other guy. So these wolves are thinking in the scene before this. They throw a refrigerator to grit to get more numbers. That's a thinking wolf. This girl shows up at the door. They were in her house, killed her mom. They would kill her too, unless they were using her as bait. That's what they need to do in this scene. But instead, they just kill her. These two wolves don't make sense together in the same movie. You have to make your wolves a character. I know this sounds stupid to people. I know people don't care about these stupid horror movies, but like these wolves have to have a common desire. They're all werewolves in the same movie. Alright, I'm sorry. Great death, by the way, when they tear her spine out or whatever. Pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very cool.
SPEAKER_02:Um Wes decides to drive into a bus.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Why did he drive into a bus? I wasn't paying for the business. He didn't decide. The bus pulled out and he was talking on his phone. This is a very uh phone while driving. That's right. No, or at least have a hands-free device, right? I think he was on a cell phone, I think. Don't talk on the phone and drive, okay, guys? It's very dangerous.
SPEAKER_02:Uh West drives into a bus.
SPEAKER_03:Meanwhile, yeah, just dead in the center, though, which is ridiculous.
SPEAKER_02:Here's another thing you probably like because it was really stupid. We cut back to Lucy in the house. She's doing her mantra. Then she looks up and sees a photo of her husband, her dead husband. She yells at him for dying. Jerk, why'd you die? Like, wow. Wow.
SPEAKER_03:One, you know, I don't know. One billion werewolves, Dan. Okay. Yeah, people are gonna die, lady. It happens. One billion werewolves. Did he die on werewolf night? I'm pretty sure he died on the last were it doesn't actually say that. That might be me putting that on the movie, which I think is a better uh thing to do, but maybe I'm wrong. Huh, that's pretty weird. Maybe he just died like a loser.
SPEAKER_02:Uh the bus is on flames. Uh sh Amy yells at Wes, get up, Wes! And and like drags him out of like this burning car bus flaming thing. And what what is the thing? What does he yell?
SPEAKER_03:I don't know. What does he yell?
SPEAKER_02:My phone!
SPEAKER_03:To be fair, I feel like a lot of people would feel that way, Dan. We need our phones, okay? They're an extension of us. It's very sad to lose a phone.
SPEAKER_02:She uh back at the house, she pushes the button for pepper spray, she pepper sprays Cody right in the face, and she's like, This is for Reagan.
SPEAKER_03:Right. And he's like, okay. Thanks. Thanks, lady. That's cool.
SPEAKER_02:Um, and now Amy's gonna explain to Frank what needs to be done. The key to the whole movie is we need to dominate the wolves.
SPEAKER_05:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02:Well, because they're like, you know, they're like an animal, right?
SPEAKER_04:Like sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Like the I always talk about this with my dogs, right? I dominate the dog. Not completely, but I dominate the dog. Shannon does not dominate the dog. Shannon works for the dog. So the dog always treats Shannon like she works for the dog, while the dog looks at me like I'm I'm mostly the alpha. That is correct. Yeah. We've had three dogs.
SPEAKER_03:It's happened every time. Well, that, you know, that's the personality, right? Like, I get that. Um I'm an alpha. Tony, I'm a Shannon. Tony's not an alpha. I am a beta. Absolutely. What is what's the C? I don't know. What's lower than beta? What's alpha, beta? Epsilon. Kai? But that's the thing.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I constantly dominate Tony on the show.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and I like it, guys. I just want you to know I am into it. Alright. Very willing sub, as they say.
SPEAKER_02:Tony normally has to pay for it. Um, so yeah, so she's like, we gotta dominate the wolves. And so they're the choice to begin dominating the wolves is by trying to sneak around them.
SPEAKER_03:Right. I mean, that's boy, you are really showing it to them right there. Stick it to him. Is this how wolves work, though? This is a real question. Because I've seen the movie The Gray with Liam Neeson, yeah, and he is ready to fight the shit out of them, and they kill him, right? So that I don't she does say, I guess, with a pack, it's not the same. Like if it's one-on-one, you dominate it. If it's a pack, you gotta get the F out. I think that's what she said.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:I think you have to something like that.
SPEAKER_02:I think you gotta dominate the situation. You gotta be the alpha of everybody's you gotta dominate everyone in turn.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it's Liam Neeson, okay, so he is an alpha alpha. All right. And he gets he gets eaten, I'm pretty sure, at the end of that movie. So spoiler alerts for the gray or whatever it's called.
SPEAKER_02:They're trying to sneak past. They crawl under this, uh they crawl under a car at one point to hide, and the wolf leans down and smell sniffs for them. Sniff, sniff, sniff.
SPEAKER_03:He's probably he's got a cold?
SPEAKER_02:He's probably 12 to 14 inches away from the human, the living human beings. Can't hear him, can't smell them, has no abilities.
SPEAKER_03:It's a problem, right? It's a problem because again, they know that wolves smell because they give you the sniff noise. Like, we know that's what's happening, so he has to he has to smell them. Unless you're saying like their pheromones are somehow invisible to wolves. Like, I don't understand the message we're sending. You know that he's gonna sniff them, you put that in the movie, but then he doesn't smell anything? Doesn't make any sense. Doesn't make any sense. Also, like this is a moment we should just briefly talk about the prosthetics in the movie. Oh, you want to talk about the wolves? The wolf snout is really bad. It does. I'm sorry, it's not good. It looks a little like Walt Disney's big bad wolf. Holy shit, it does. Yeah, because it's got the curve, the weird like up curve, and I just I don't think that's what wolves look like.
SPEAKER_05:No.
SPEAKER_03:I am a Timberwolves fan, okay? I don't the Minnesota Timberwolves. I've seen Crunch in person, he's the mascot, doesn't look like this at all. All right, that's all I gotta say. Um, yeah, they're not good, and I think they show them a lot, they show them too much.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. They do, they do show the face of the wolves because they they paid for some robotics, so it's like they did, and like the it works, so that's something, right?
SPEAKER_03:Like, you got your money's worth. Maybe just a redesign, just a little one, it's not even that big, right? Just maybe bring the snout in and down and just make it look like a wolf. A little better scope. Just my two cents.
SPEAKER_02:Not not the best sculpt in the world. Okay, here's here's a scene I like. We cut to Cody Wolf. He goes to the bird bath, and because he's got pepper spray in his eyes, he splashes water in his eyes. I mean it's great. It is a it is a consequence, you know. You got pepper sprayed, and so you know, how are we gonna deal with the pepper spray? He's gonna find a birdbath. Sure. Wash out his eyes.
SPEAKER_03:Maybe just have him duck uh dump his head in it. You know what I mean? Like instead of having it.
SPEAKER_02:You don't want the motors in the face getting wet. I mean, you're right.
SPEAKER_04:It's too expensive. We don't have enough to fix it. Great stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Back inside the house. Here's Lucy. She's fallen asleep. Yeah, great. I would fall asleep during all this. I would not.
SPEAKER_04:I'll tell you that right now.
SPEAKER_02:Tony, what's up? What's on the table that she's falling in the kitchen table? In the kitchen. She's falling asleep on the table. What's on the table? I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:What's on the table? Is it the gun? Piles of canned goods. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, it might last more than a night. I don't know. How's it gonna last more than a night? I don't know, Dan. She's in it for the long haul, okay? She's got canned goods for days. Nine hours is a long time. I eat three, four cans every hour, so I get it.
SPEAKER_02:Uh-oh. Watch clicks off. They've they've they've uh run out of time, they've used up their one hour. But not really. But they have enough time to run. They see like a flashing blue light, and they're like, run for that flashing blue light. And there's a gate on a building and it's open, and then they they do a good slide under it. That looked good. That shot looked good where they did the slide. Sure, that looked good.
SPEAKER_03:Let me let me say two things. Yeah. So they run out of time and they run and then stop in the middle of the street to look around. If you're out of time, you should probably keep moving. But there's also a giant church about 10 feet behind them in the shot. Just go to the building, guys. What are we doing here? I don't understand. You're running right by a building. They're like, let's go one more block this way. What are we doing? What are we doing here?
SPEAKER_02:They get in there, the gate's closing, then this there's this one little kid, and he like goes boogity boogity. Then he like takes off, and they follow up.
SPEAKER_03:Those little guys in Star Wars. What are those little dudes called? Jawas.
SPEAKER_02:And then they're well, let's follow him. They're walking through this sort of mall stall area, and then there's gates closed, and then there's people inside the gates that are like, let us out, let us out. And we're like, I do not understand what is happening.
SPEAKER_03:I don't know what's going on down there. And then she's like, she asks, What's going on? And he's like, It's a market?
SPEAKER_02:Somebody said he's like, it's a market, so that means that there's gonna be tunnels underground that can get us where we can go.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, I thought he was answering like this is a market. I was like, for people? Yes, human, human people as food. They bargain with the werewolves. I'll give me this person if you don't eat us. And he's like, Okay, well, too, yeah, too, too, I don't know what's going on. I'm so confused. But okay, so he's saying okay, he was just telling her that there's gonna be tunnels.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Boom, this masked guy shows up with like a rapier or something, and then we think that he sticks it through Amy, but it turns out that he just put it right next to her. That's kind of tricky.
SPEAKER_04:And then he says, What does he say? That's tricky.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, and then um Frank pulls his gun and he's like, I will shoot you in the face. I like that line.
SPEAKER_04:That's good stuff, right in the face.
SPEAKER_02:And then this guy says, Your kind does not belong here.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, now which kind is that? I'm just like I don't understand.
SPEAKER_02:He's wandered into this little bonus post-apocalyptic world that's been existing under its own thing for the last year.
SPEAKER_03:So he did so they just mean humans. Like humans aren't allowed down here. This is not where you belong.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I don't know either. I thought that was a very strange line. But part of me thought it was gonna be the brother. Like, because he was wearing a mask and a hood, and I was like, what if he pulls it off and it's the brother and he's like a survivor of the werewolf thing, and so he didn't want to go home to be like a danger to his family. That would have been fun. Oh, that would have been fun. See, that would have been fun. That's not what happens. No.
SPEAKER_02:They just leave, they just fuck off.
SPEAKER_03:He literally just goes, I'll bring you to the edge of the tunnels, but that's it. And he's like, Well, yeah, that's that's what I want. So thank you. Thanks. Thank you for that.
SPEAKER_02:His his mask is like is like a painter's mask. Yep.
SPEAKER_03:That's been spray painted gold with the two uh the breathing apparatus. Yeah, though that one. Yeah. Heavy duty spraying spraying paint mask. Spray painted gold with uh gold spray paint. It's great, it's great stuff. Doesn't make any sense. I have no idea. This entire scene makes zero sense to me.
SPEAKER_02:Uh okay, now we're down in the tunnels. They go through the tunnels, and then they reach a lock gate, and then Frank's like looking at the lock, like, huh. How can I open a lock with a big gun in his hand? I don't know. How do locks work? And we see a werewolf behind them. The werewolf runs up, throws them through, throws everybody through the gate, and the gate just like collapses like it's made out of butter.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's well, it's a plastic gate, you know. Yeah, it's not a real gate. Don't worry about it.
SPEAKER_02:He lunges at Frank. Frank has a pole, sticks in with it, does the old lift and impale.
SPEAKER_03:The classic, yeah, like the classic murder a lion scene. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's great. Great stuff. Um, I do there was almost a cool scene here where he's like, he's got the werewolf on the pole, and the werewolf is still like biting at him and dripping blood all over him. But again, the snout just looks like a piece of shit, so it just looks stupid. But I was like, I know what you're going for here, guys, and I applaud that. It just it just doesn't work.
SPEAKER_02:They get to the end of the tunnels, they look up, they see the moon, they're like, there's the moon. And they're all like, I guess we gotta reapply the moon screen. But isn't it too late? You looked right at it.
SPEAKER_03:They're like, He's in the blue light. Like in the scene, Frank Grillo is lit up in the blue light. It's too late, guys. He's a werewolf.
SPEAKER_02:Nope, we gotta cover up and get to the bodega. They cover up, they run to the bodega, they crash in the bodega. The alarm goes on, and they're like, it's like a dinner bell. No werewolves come up. Not really, though. Don't worry.
SPEAKER_03:It's not a dinner bell at all. Don't put just just don't put the line in your movie. If it's not a dinner bell, don't say it's a dinner bell. Nobody comes.
SPEAKER_02:And then he puts the the moon screen in the freezer.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, because he I think he was holding it in his jock strap, but it just got too warm down there. I think that must have been what was happening, Dan.
SPEAKER_02:You need to give us at least a little line that says You know, he needed to set this up about why they needed to go to the bodega, which is off the moon screen's room temperature. We gotta get it down to 16 degrees C.
SPEAKER_03:No. No, no, no, don't worry about it. It's fine. It's good. It's better this way.
SPEAKER_02:Meanwhile, back at the back at the house, the werewolves crush all the cameras because they're smart enough to understand what cameras are, I guess. Because these werewolves do not have a defined set of laws at all. Frank's great. Frank spends some tight quiet time in the bathroom, and then this part I liked. When he goes outside, and there's Amy, and they're like having more quiet time, and Amy's reminiscing back when full moons were fun.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you you remember those days, don't you, Dan? Full moons were the best. We gotta get back there, you know. So fun. I I have no idea. I think she's talking about an eclipse, right? Where everyone goes outside and like looks at the eclipse. Do pe I mean, I guess people maybe they go out and look at the supermoons. I don't know. I don't.
SPEAKER_02:It's just uh, you know, I don't think people like have actively more fun every 30 days when there's a full moon.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you're so wrong. We throw carnivals, the full moon carnivals. It's great. We got little snacks, little candy apples painted like full moons, and we eat snack on those. I have no idea what she's talking about. I don't know, I don't know these days that they're talking about.
SPEAKER_02:So the moon screen goes beep, beep, beep. That means it's ready, but lo and behold, there's a But it didn't beep, beep, beep when it wasn't ready.
SPEAKER_03:You know, like that. What? It doesn't matter. It's all good.
SPEAKER_02:Um, boom, there's a monster wolf child in the place eating a dead cat.
SPEAKER_04:Great. Just really nice stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Frank doesn't want to blast it, and then uh Amy instead uh gives it the old uh zaps it with uh so that's why I said electricity sometimes works.
SPEAKER_03:It does sometimes work. It works one stun gun, and that wolf is down for an indeterminate amount of time.
SPEAKER_02:Um boom, back at the house. Lucy's doing her mantra. The werewolves knock over a tree, which I think turns out the power and the fence. Does that take down everything?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it definitely hits the fence and I guess hits like their generator or something. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Uh and the werewolves jump on the roof and are boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
SPEAKER_04:Classic werewolves.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, this is this is this is another great scene. We got these three three or four guys that are machine gunning the werewolves. They've got they've got hand machine guns, they've got a big thing on top of the truck with a gigantic, you know, they're machine gunning, they like sort of drive off the wolves and they're like, ceasefire. Frank Grillow's like, ah, this is how we're gonna get out of this. They like hold their hands up and they're like, We're friendlies, we're friendlies, friendlies, friendlies, friendlies, and they're all like, Right, but we're hesitant, we're hesitant. And then the werewolves go on to kill all of them so that Frank Grillo and Amy can steal their truck.
SPEAKER_04:Can steal the car. Yeah, it's great.
SPEAKER_02:These poor guys all killed. These aren't bad guys, these are ostensibly good guys, thrill seeker good guys. All of them killed.
SPEAKER_03:They're living on the edge. They knew what they signed up for. Okay. No, it's horrible. He's he's basically like, hey guys, over here, over here, and then waits for the wolf to tear his head off. That's it's incredible. Which does kind of happen. Did you see the death scene in this one? One of the wolves bites off a dude's face. Great prosthetic. Oh, I did see that. Really nicely done. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So we find out that before they get to the truck, they're like, they're forming a kill circle.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I don't know what that is. Uh it's where werewolves circle up and uh kill everybody. There it is. So then you know, you know, kill circles.
SPEAKER_02:Amy's like, I got a theory. And she's like runs away and she goes out there and it's like, hey, over here, over here, you know, she's Jeff Goldblum with the flame. Come at me. Nice T-Rex. She stands up to the big wolf, but is also cowering. She doesn't, yeah, she doesn't. If you're gonna try to dominate the big wolf, you can't also cower.
SPEAKER_03:You have to like stand there and like even when it like growls at you, you can't move. Yeah. She maybe should have put on high heels before she did this. I'm taller than you.
SPEAKER_04:Sure.
SPEAKER_03:Or stilts. Stilts, yeah, stilts would be good. She can't move in stilts. Um so, but it works, right? She primal screams at the wolf. Rah! Yeah. And then the wolf leaves her alone. No, the wolf pauses and then Frank Grillo machine guns. And then shoots him. Sure. Yeah, yeah. But like there's that moment where it's like, okay, this does kind of work. Yeah. So I guess we're gonna see that in the third act. But you don't.
SPEAKER_02:Like, what it what the fuck is the point of this? Grillo gets in the truck, she goes to get in the truck, and then she gets carried. Away into the sky.
SPEAKER_03:This is this is a moment that I really laughed hard at. Yeah, why? Um, because she's about she opens the truck door, Grillo looks at her, and they cut back to her, and instead of her jumping in the car, she smiles. She's like, We're safe. And then gets grabbed and pulled up. And it's like, why would you stop? There's that's that's not a human moment for anybody. Like, she would jump the fuck in that car. Oh, so you just you gotta make it a little more natural.
SPEAKER_02:She's got a harness on. She can't, there's no wire. She can't.
SPEAKER_03:I understand why the movie had to have it that way. I'm just saying you gotta figure out a more natural way to do it.
SPEAKER_02:Well, she should die, she's dying for her self-satisfaction.
SPEAKER_03:I did great. Got it.
SPEAKER_02:And then Frank Grillow, he doesn't really do anything to try to rescue her. He just like goes. Well, he looks. And he's like, ah, she's gone.
SPEAKER_03:And then he drives off.
SPEAKER_02:Well, he sort of he sort of looks like he's about to cry, and then it starts to rain, and he doesn't have to cry because the world is crying for him.
SPEAKER_03:Because the world is doing it for him. Oh wow. That's deep. That's a deep thing that I didn't I didn't pick up on. Now let me ask you a question, Dan. Yeah. How do werewolves work? Because if there's clouds in the sky, are they still a werewolf?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Why?
SPEAKER_02:They only stop being a werewolf when the sun comes up or the moon sets.
SPEAKER_03:Why? You know what I mean? Yeah, no, no. So what I'm saying is if the moon sets, it disappears. Yeah. No more moonlight. Yeah. If there's too many clouds in the sky, isn't that the same thing as not having moonlight?
SPEAKER_02:Well, ostensibly, you won't do your initial chain change if there's fully uh until you see the moon.
SPEAKER_03:When you see the moon, but it's not you don't change back until you get hit by sun rays. Because that's what they do. I think so.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, probably it would be sun. That would make sense, right? Okay. All right, that's fine.
SPEAKER_03:Makes sense. I don't know about that, but it's fine.
SPEAKER_02:You know, the moon moon the light of the moon is just the sun bouncing off of a big rock.
SPEAKER_03:So Naomi and I had a real deep conversation about like, how does what is the how does this work? Because it's it's all the same the light, technically, right? Because you're either getting direct sunlight or it bounces off the surface.
SPEAKER_02:Like, what is what is the it doesn't matter, but it actually is different because when it hits the moon and then bounces off, the moon's gonna absorb a bunch of wavelengths of the changes the UV rays somehow to the point where it's different. It absorbs a bunch of stuff and it it bounces back certain certain things for whatever reason.
SPEAKER_03:There you go. Yeah. Well, you know, werewolf stuff. That's what it bounces back.
SPEAKER_02:All the werewolf stuff. Um Lucy has run out of shells, wasting them. She's blasted holes in her roof so that there's moonlight coming in. She goes, well.
SPEAKER_03:She has four shells left and she knows it. Like she makes a point of counting and she says four left. Yep. And then loads them up, yeah, and then proceeds to empty them into surfaces in her house. Yep. What's going on? That's don't write that in your movie. That's so stupid. It's so dumb.
SPEAKER_02:Everybody's like blow a werewolf's hand off or something with it.
SPEAKER_03:Right. Do anything, anything other than her just unloading into her own house. Yeah. So dumb.
SPEAKER_02:Uh she's out of shells, so she goes back to the kitchen and gets a knife. She gives Emma the bear spray, puts her in a cabinet, and then boom, Wes is home. This is this is a nice moment.
SPEAKER_03:This is a nice little moment. She goes to the daughter and she's like, Listen, they're gonna come in here, which is like a nice moment, but it's led up to by idiocy and then followed by idiocy. But this is a nice moment where it's like they're gonna come in and we're gonna have to fight. I like that moment. Do that with her still having a couple of shotgun shells. Sure. Have her kill a couple of wolves, and then she gets overrun. That's fine.
SPEAKER_02:Has to clawing at the thing, whatever.
SPEAKER_03:Right, like that's fine. She should get overrun and need help. That's fine. But her wasting her ammo and then being like, well, now they're gonna kill us because I'm an idiot. That's not good writing.
SPEAKER_02:So Wes is outside with the vehicle. He sees them all lined up in the alley, and so he drives.
SPEAKER_03:Why are they a line?
SPEAKER_02:Hits two, and then another 50 meters, hits another one, then another 50 meters.
SPEAKER_03:They're in a line, right? They're in a line, and then he starts driving and he hits one at a time very slowly. Doesn't make any sense. He should hit him like a bowling pin and just like spread them all over the thing. Boom!
SPEAKER_04:Should be for it. It's so weird.
SPEAKER_02:Very quick things, but it said no. So weird. And of course, he's during this, he says, come fetch. Doesn't make any sense.
SPEAKER_03:No, because dogs fetch, right? So it's a fetch. It's just a dog joke. But earlier he says, bite me, or something like that, which is great.
SPEAKER_02:What should he have said as he is running these these werewolves down?
SPEAKER_03:I don't know. Something about a mailman truck running over dogs.
SPEAKER_02:What? Tell me. You shouldn't play in the road.
SPEAKER_03:There it is.
SPEAKER_02:Should play in the road.
SPEAKER_03:Better line than Party. He could deliver that line.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Something, some somebody says it's over. I don't know why they say it's over.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, so there's a there's the mom says it's over for no reason what's it.
SPEAKER_02:It's a werewolf in the house. It gets bash made by the kid. She knifes it, gets knocked away, picks up the silver axe. From the wall. Where'd the axe come from? It's his fireman. The fireman. Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Alright. I was like, this this axe just appeared out of nowhere. He didn't get right next to her.
SPEAKER_02:Didn't get his pension, but he got an axe. Got the axe. Good, good, good. Axe him in the back of the head. And Wes is Wes's home. Does he use keys to open the front door lock or something?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he for sure does. Because then he closes it and locks it again.
SPEAKER_04:I'm almost positive he locked both sides.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Very respectful. Lucy cries, they do hug time. He says, long, you know, she's like, what happened? She says, long story. And then he says, I should have never, I should have never left.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Wait. Well, then nothing would be solved, guys.
SPEAKER_02:What are you talking about? And everybody's dead. So he's literally the only one that knows moonscreen works and it works for an hour. Yep.
SPEAKER_03:Which is more than we had before. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:They're out of shells. She wasted them all because she's a woman. Um. And then, of course, you go, he's like, there's only 15 minutes left, and someone's outside, and we're out of stuff. He's all like, I guess I'm gonna have to make the greatest sacrifice. And we're all like, oh, he's gonna turn into a werewolf and fight the other werewolf.
SPEAKER_03:Well, no, Dan, not okay. So this is this is because at what point in this movie has any other werewolf fought another werewolf? Never. Never once. At what point has any werewolf shown humanity in this movie? Never once. So what on God's green earth would convince him that he could turn into a werewolf and be like, yep, I'm gonna defend this house and attack this other werewolf. Doesn't make any fucking sense. As soon as he's a werewolf, he would come in the house and she'd have to kill him. That doesn't make sense. Oh, he should drive the werewolf crazy. She should dominate him. Great, because that's something you set up, right? Like, so it drives me crazy. There's no reason for him to fight this wolf in the lore that you've set up. The easy fix to this is back when they meet the scientist lady's husband as a wolf in that hallway. He has to recognize her. He goes like this. He has to hesitate. She has to say his name or something, and he hesitates, and then Frank Grillo shoots the gas, and it and then they can escape. But there has to be a moment where that werewolf recognizes the human. Has to. Otherwise, this ending doesn't make any sense. There's no reason this werewolf would then attack this werewolf.
SPEAKER_02:I got it. I know why. Talk to me. Because he watched the uh Marvel movie Werewolf by Night.
SPEAKER_04:Which, by the way, go watch that. That was way better than this fuck up movie.
SPEAKER_02:That's phenomenal stuff. I rewatched that about a month ago and I was like, Oh, it's great. I love this. That they haven't given what's his name his own movie like his criminal.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, I haven't heard anything, but maybe they have. I don't know. Uh yeah, that's that's great stuff. So, and then to your point, he defeats that werewolf, but he's still a werewolf, so then he should come in because you know he's still a werewolf, and then she needs to dominate him and and then shoot past him, and then the sun comes in. That's it. That's your movie. And now everything that you have set up in the beginning now works, and this movie's perfect.
SPEAKER_02:Uh, he goes outside and never liked you, Cody. I'm gonna bury you. It turns into a werewolf, they fight.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And doesn't he like basically rip off his head in about 30 seconds?
SPEAKER_03:Tears his head right off. Yep, just literally puts him in a headlock and then tears off his head. There's not even a fight. It is ridiculous.
SPEAKER_02:They hide Emma in another cabinet. She finds one more shell. He goes, he comes and he goes, he knocks through the brick wall. He doesn't come through the giant hole that's like if one of the walls makes it.
SPEAKER_03:Super easy left and right. They just really wanted to do this three wolves, what is it, three little pigs coming through the brick, because you know they mentioned that earlier, so you gotta come through the brick house.
SPEAKER_02:And she's doing the wis, we love you. She picks a picture of Emma off. This is Emma, don't do it. And then her alarm goes off, beep, beep, beep. That means 15 minutes has passed, 15 minutes have not passed. She's she shoots a hole in the wall, and in comes sunlight, and instantly.
SPEAKER_03:Luckily, the sun is rising literally right outside that window. Like directly outside the window, because that is so much sunlight through one tiny hole.
SPEAKER_02:Uh, Wes is, I mean, uh, we cue the redemptive music. Here's Wes. We put him in the sunlight, he's all greased up. Oh, look at all sexy, and then you're like Wow, we know we we know another baby is being conceived in about 30 seconds.
SPEAKER_03:Super moon baby.
SPEAKER_02:And then it's just like an instant cut to some sort of whip pan, it's super weird.
SPEAKER_03:They were on, and then they do a whip pan into the credits. Never seen that before in my entire life, I'm pretty sure. It's the weirdest, most jarring moment ever. And you're like, why what is the point of that, guys? Weird stuff, man.
SPEAKER_02:Gotta get out of there. Um, so yeah, it was it was mostly boring, and but there are a couple funny lines, you know, the idea of a werewolf having to splash his eyes in a birdbath because he got pepper sprayed. Very, very funny stuff.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, great stuff.
SPEAKER_02:I don't think water does anything for pepper spray, but there you go.
SPEAKER_03:I think it makes it worse, if I remember correctly, because it like spreads it like you need milk or something like that. They should have had something like denser.
SPEAKER_02:They should have had like a female werewolf and he would have like gone to her nipples.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they definitely should have. See, I got I mean, how could they not think of that? It's right there.
SPEAKER_02:See, Donnie, when you're making your werewolf movie, I got the ideas. I got the hot ideas.
SPEAKER_04:I've got plenty of plenty of scenes you can spruce up for me. Oh, God, that's good.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So that's great stuff.
SPEAKER_02:It was a silly horror movie.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's dumb. It was fun, and if they just would have fixed that ending, I would love it. I would, I would love it. He would have liked it. Schlock, schlock film. I love it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Very close. Good effort.
SPEAKER_02:Now we talk about something we like this week. Uh uh, I think it's a I don't know if it's on Netflix or HBO, is this a documentary called The Perfect Neighbor?
SPEAKER_03:Um God, you watched that?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We we saw the trailer, and I will I refuse. I refuse to watch it.
SPEAKER_02:Um, you know, the story's not all that interesting. It's just terrible neighbor, loud kids, and somebody ends up getting killed. But the interesting thing about it is the whole movie is body cam footage and a little bit of interrogation footage and a little bit of court footage at the end, but it's it's probably 85% body cam footage of multiple incidents where you sort of see how this thing is it doesn't really have that much, but it just was very interesting to see how much you could get out of body cam footage. It was like, wow, this is a lot.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_02:Because there's tons of great tons of great body cam footage things that we watch all the time on YouTube that you know show sort of more interesting cases.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:But this one they they built their whole narrative that way. Different.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, wild stuff. Yeah. I don't like real things, they just bum me out, you know. Well, that's that's where we live, Tony.
SPEAKER_04:I like to live in my fantasy world, it's okay.
SPEAKER_02:What do you got, Tony?
SPEAKER_03:Uh well, we finally, very late, uh finally watched Sinners. Oh, yeah, I watched that.
SPEAKER_02:You liked it?
SPEAKER_03:I have lots of thoughts about it. It's a it's a beautiful movie. Um it's pretty wild. It's I will never watch it again. Uh I found it very depressing. In general, that was very depressing. Um, you know, it's is it as good as people are saying it is? No, definitely not. But visually, one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen in my life.
SPEAKER_02:That guy knows how to make a movie.
SPEAKER_03:F and A, man. It's it's wonderful. Like, it's wonderful. And obviously, like thematically, obviously very powerful and stuff. But like, there's problems.
unknown:You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03:Like, there's there's some problems in it. Um, but yeah, just uh it's it was good. I'm glad I watched it. I will never watch it again. Never, never again.
SPEAKER_02:Well, the movie we're gonna do next week.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. Is it sad? I don't want to watch sad movies.
SPEAKER_02:We're gonna stay with the horror.
SPEAKER_03:Great, love that. But we're gonna do some horror comedy this time. Okay, all right. Purposeful comedy.
SPEAKER_04:There's uh I would argue we've been doing that already.
SPEAKER_02:There's a very funny man. His name is, I think his name is Adam Scott. He used to be on Parks and Wreck.
SPEAKER_03:Parks and Wreck. Yeah. He made a He's in all those Adam Brody commercials now. No, not Adam Brody. Yeah, Adam Brody. Yeah, yeah. Anyhow, sorry, what in all those Adam?
SPEAKER_02:He's in Succession, great show.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Well, in 2017.
SPEAKER_03:He was in Boy Meets World, if you remember that, Danny.
SPEAKER_02:Don't remember that. Uh in 2017, he was in a horror comedy making fun of Damien the Omen called Little Evil.
SPEAKER_03:Are you sure? I've never heard of this. Little Netflix.
SPEAKER_02:I saw it and I was like, what is this? And then I watched like the first five minutes and I was like, yeah, we're doing this movie. It's only an hour and a half.
SPEAKER_03:I like a nice 90 minutes. That's great. Who's in this thing? Uh Adam Scott. Evangeline Lilly from Lost Wonderful Stuff. Okay. So you know it's great.
SPEAKER_02:You know it's gonna be bad if Evangeline Lilly is in it.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, I'm excited. How fun.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:How fun.
SPEAKER_02:There you go.
SPEAKER_03:How sweet it is to be loved by you.
SPEAKER_02:So we get to make fun of somebody trying to do comedy and say how they're doing comedy wrong.
SPEAKER_03:I love that. That's great. Good for us. We're people love to hear us say that.
SPEAKER_02:Ah, we're good at something.
SPEAKER_03:Are we? I was just I'm just gonna I'm pulling up Superman to see if anyone left uh although this movie really put a stain on DC. Okay, well, someone agrees with us, huh? The Harbinger. Yeah, we we got two comments.
SPEAKER_02:I didn't understand either of them.
SPEAKER_03:Uh well, some this person was very kind. Um, nerd Marshall. So, Marshall, shout out to Marshall. Said finally, some actual effing review of this movie. They're saying this is the best Superman characterization on screen ever. Laughy face. I agree. Yeah, it's not great. It's not the worst, not the best.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but it's a decent characterization of him. It's just not a good movie that he's in.
SPEAKER_03:It's not a Superman movie, it's not a good Superman movie. That's what I'm trying to say. Anyhow, um, fun stuff. I talked to Todd. I talked to Todd about it. He really liked it. Um, go okay, Todd, you're done. I take, you know what? Let's delete the birthday episode.
SPEAKER_02:How about that? But he liked it because it was very much not, you know, all the Zack Snyder stuff. And it Superman was there to try to do good, and you know.
SPEAKER_03:It's it is about the exact opposite. Like, you know what I mean? Like, they really went as far away from Zack Snyder as they could. And I think so. I totally get that.
SPEAKER_02:I think his favorite line was also uh the Beck Bennett line, uh, you know, don't I get a seatbelt?
SPEAKER_03:So it made me laugh very hard. Totally different movie as far as as far as things go, but wonderful little, wonderful little thing.
SPEAKER_02:So maybe at some point someone well, that's the thing. The terrible Zack Sider Superman, very consistent within his own thinking, right? 100%.
SPEAKER_03:Never wavered from one little bit. He was like, This is my vision, this is what we're doing, F everybody else. You gotta respect that a little bit, you know? No, you don't have to. Yeah, you have to respect the gumption. I mean, he's in charge of like a billion-dollar franchise and he's just throwing middle fingers all over the place. I don't know. I respect it a little.
SPEAKER_02:You want Superman to be heroic and save people? Go fuck yourself.
SPEAKER_03:Get out of here. Oh, Zack Snyder. You are you are a pill. I love him. I love him. I love him. I need more Zack Snyder in my life. What's he doing next? Where's Rebel Moon 3, Zach? What are we doing here? Did I tell you I listened to some of the podcast? You did tell me. It was it was bad. It might have been filthy. It might have been like really like adult. Okay, well, see, now I'm gonna have to listen to it. You didn't say that last time. You know, go to sleep listening to that.
SPEAKER_02:Well, basically, little softcore uh Star Wars.
SPEAKER_04:That's what everybody wants, isn't it? I don't know. Great stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Well, did like your haircut. Um we know.
SPEAKER_04:We know you did.
SPEAKER_02:We'll be back next week talking about Little Evil. Until then, leave us a comment, like a few people have. Give us some thumbs down on the Superman one because of what assholes we are. Boo you guys, boo. And we did gain one subscriber from from that. So I wonder if it's one of the two that commented good things. And uh we'll we'll probably see you next week.
SPEAKER_00:Goodbye, everybody.