Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Freddy Vs. Jason: Dumb Fun Done Right
Two horror titans enter, consistency takes a vacation, and we can’t stop talking about why it still works. We rewind to 2003 and pull apart Freddy vs. Jason from its crisp, newcomer‑friendly recap to the outsized, fire‑lit brawls that the whole campaign was built around. We’re honest about the warts: clunky teen dialogue, jump scares with no crescendo, and lore that forgets its own rules. We’re also here for the highs: Robert Englund having a blast as a razor‑fingered showman, a hulking Jason cutting a path through a cornfield, and a handful of striking images that remind you how potent these icons can be when the camera actually looks.
We map the story’s logic (such as it is): Freddy stokes fear by resurrecting Jason, the town buries the past with a hush regime, and our kids try to outthink both monsters with Hypnosil and a road trip to Crystal Lake. Along the way we debate whether crowd kills help or hurt the mood, why mask fit and silhouette matter for menace, and how the movie tosses aside the classic “fight sleep” tension that made Nightmare sing. The dream‑realm pinball fight versus the dockside industrial smackdown gives us two flavors of violence, and that rebar shot, the lake reveal, and the final misdirect all stick the landing with a grin.
Is it scary? Not really. Is it dumb fun? Absolutely—and sometimes that’s enough. If you want meticulous rules and slow‑burn dread, go back to the early entries. If you want heavyweight horror branding colliding like action figures in a bonfire, this crossover still swings. Hit play to hear our favorite shots, least favorite logic gaps, and the moments that prove spectacle can carry a movie further than sense ever could.
Enjoyed the breakdown? Follow, rate, and share the show with a friend who has strong feelings about Team Freddy or Team Jason. Tell us your winner and your favorite kill shot in the comments!
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Shannon's outside gardening, so she's probably gonna make a lot of noise. From with gardening? Does she have like big gardening tools? Gotta chainsaw those lilies, baby. That's a flower, right?
SPEAKER_01:Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I am Dan. I am Tony. This is the show that dares to watch movies from 2003. That's 22 plus years ago when they knew how to make movies.
SPEAKER_03:Is that what we're going with? They knew how to make movies. That is the year I graduated high school, by the way.
SPEAKER_01:That is the year.
SPEAKER_03:Some would came a man. Oh, what? Someone call it what? You made love for the first time in 2003. That's great, Dan. That's true. I love it.
SPEAKER_01:So some would say what was about you graduating high school.
SPEAKER_03:Some would say it's the beginning of the end, you know? It's all downhill from listen, kids. If your parents are like, don't worry, it gets better, they're lying to you. It only gets worse. It's just a steady downhill climb.
SPEAKER_01:So you're kind of an Uncle Rico sort. Is that what you're telling me?
SPEAKER_03:No, because that movie's terrible and I hate it, and I don't want to be associated with it. How about that?
SPEAKER_01:One of the greatest movies of all time. Every bit in that movie works. All the characters are incredible. Uh yeah, that's Dilla. Perfect.
SPEAKER_03:I do still, I'll be honest, I still laugh at that and still quote it all the time. So there are things that are obviously enjoyable, but as a movie, I don't like it.
SPEAKER_01:So this year we asked. We're going back to 2003 to talk about a movie. It's Halloween season, so we're doing a Halloween movie. Um and don't expect us to do that too much anymore.
SPEAKER_03:This is all apparently, because you've already called an Audible and we're moving on. What how many we how many more do we have? Because I do have a movie, a scary movie I want to do. Oh, yeah, we'll have one more. It'll be perfect.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so you do that next time. We have a we're gonna do another special show this month.
SPEAKER_02:You know, specials.
SPEAKER_01:Um, something that neither of us is gonna take. Uh we'll talk about it at the end. Um, Tony, why don't you tell us about this movie that we have?
SPEAKER_03:This is yeah, this is a scary, scary film. Um, if you like good movies, that is. You know what I mean? Because it's so bad that it's scary. Did you get did you see what I did there, Dan? Wonderful play on words. Got it. Write that down.
SPEAKER_01:It was not a play on words, but okay. Um the words were not playing. Those words had no fun coming out of your mouth.
SPEAKER_03:Are you sure? I don't, I mean, I thought I was having a really good time with them. So let's so imagine this, everybody.
SPEAKER_01:Cast back, cast your mind back.
SPEAKER_03:Go back to the 1980s, the heyday of the slasher film. We have titans, absolute giants in this in this genre. We've got Michael Myers, great. We've got Jason Voer, he's great. We've got Freddie Krueger, who I was never a huge fan of, but people liked him, so that's great. And now what happens if you pit him against each other, sort of, kind of a little bit? That's what happens when you get this movie. Freddie vs. Jason.
SPEAKER_01:Hour and 37 minutes.
SPEAKER_03:Um still a touch too long. And I I don't I say that gently, uh, but there was some fluff that I could have cut from this movie.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I mean, yeah, they you know, fights that don't mean anything would go on and a bit too long. People would talk. You're like, I wish you weren't talking.
SPEAKER_03:Mainly because a lot of it doesn't make sense and contradicts stuff that happened just before it. It's a little confusing. But I do have to say, I enjoyed this movie. Oh, it's dumb. It's dumb fun. You know what I mean? Like, this is ultimate camp NASAD a play on words? Because Camp Crystal Lake can't be nissed. Okay, I won for two, that's not bad.
SPEAKER_01:They actually, the way they set it up and the premise makes sense to me.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, so a lot of it doesn't make sense to me. But what I will say is I did make a note that uh basically this movie was tailor-made for the Dan Good sales of the world, who have seen none of these movies ever, have no idea what they're doing, and are jumping into it 20 years later, and they recap the entire series of freaking everything. Four minutes they're like, hey, this happened and this happened, and now this is happening. So that was really nice. I will say that because no one wants to go back and watch all those movies just to watch this piece of trash, right? So they're just like, we'll give you a recap, we'll just nutshell it really nicely at the beginning and a little voiceover, and now you're up to speed.
SPEAKER_01:See, the thing I love is that Tony thinks that these kind of movies are good. I know that they're trash, so I could just enjoy them as for the trash that they are.
SPEAKER_03:You're talking specifically Freddie versus Jason, because Friday the 13th, those are good movies.
SPEAKER_01:And this movie, not scary, very silly, not scary at all. Not scary at all. Um, you know, it's like when it when it when a character gets in the crosshairs, you're like, yeah, go kill him.
SPEAKER_03:It's for sure. And they do a great job of making everyone awful, just terrible, terrible people, and you can't wait for them to die. So it, you know, good job. Kudos to that. I wish they had been a bit more inventive with some of the deaths. There's a lot of just I'm gonna cut this person in half. I'm gonna cut this person in half, and this one all cut in quarters, maybe. Uh, we could do more. We could do more.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, you're not gonna ever just mistake this for a movie that makes sense and has no, you know, like things they set up at the beginning are paid off at the end.
SPEAKER_03:Um the more you pay attention to things they set up in the beginning, the more you'll be confused at the end. I would I would pause it.
SPEAKER_01:But the the idea is that it shouldn't be that way. You know, the you should just be along for the the stupid rides.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, just have some fun with it. You know, just turn your mind off. Ride.
SPEAKER_01:Very much the companion piece to something like Broken Arrow, where you're just like, this is this is dumb.
SPEAKER_03:This is how dare you compare Travolta's masterpiece to this.
SPEAKER_00:Pretty much the same movie.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, Robert England is the Travolta, right? Like going all full ham over the top. Uh Jason, clearly the Christian Slater, you know, subdued, internalizing a lot of it.
SPEAKER_01:Here's my question.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, please. Yeah, I can't wait.
SPEAKER_01:Jason, his name's Jason. Did you like his head?
SPEAKER_02:No, it was real dumb.
SPEAKER_01:So here's I mean, it's like I feel like his head should have been bigger.
SPEAKER_03:So this is an interesting thing you've brought. You don't even know the rabbit hole that you've just uh uh dug up right here. Um so that is always a point of contention, like getting Jason physically right because he doesn't do anything else, right? Like he's a silent character, it's all here and body mass. That's it. Yeah so you really have to nail those things. This guy was, I didn't like the lumpy head and the weird hair they were doing. I didn't feel like it was right. He doesn't fill out the mask very well, like the mask, and this is a complaint. I don't know if you remember my friend, friend might be extreme. My guy that I've worked with, Mike, uh, made the new Friday the 13th short film that's in the the Jason universe. And a lot of a lot of people are complaining because the guy's head is too small for the mask. So the mask hangs off the edge, and you don't want that. You want the mask to almost feel like it's like too tight on his head because his head is fucking massive.
SPEAKER_01:You want it, you want it kind of stuck in, like goopy.
SPEAKER_03:You want his head to be a little goopy and it kind of goopy's a good word for it. Yeah, um, so I I think a lot of people agree with you, Dan, and I am one of them.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because some of the shots you'd see him and it'd just be like this little head with some wispy hairs coming off it.
SPEAKER_03:Which is weird because he's got the body mass, he's got some nice bulk on him that he's menacing, but then you get to the head. It's like the Beetlejuice, right? Isn't that the movie where there's like a big body and then like a little tiny head? Isn't that one of the jokes in Betelgeuse? It is. That's kind of what it feels like.
SPEAKER_01:Well, there it is.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so there it is.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, Robert Englund just like he's having fun. He's having all the fun in the world.
SPEAKER_03:And that's kind of his that's his whole thing, right? Like he you know that he's having a good time doing all these messed up things, saying these really stupid, funny lines. Like, it's it's fun to watch him in his in his element.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um one other just quick note the jump scares didn't really work in this movie. There's like two or three jump scares, and I'd kind of go, oh. But you know, like a good, a well-constructed jump scare, I'll be like this.
SPEAKER_03:But that's the thing, Dave, is that people don't think that there's an art to it. But there is like a very particular formula that you have to build up crescendo, drop, hit the jump, right? Like there's a science to it, and if you're just like, I will just have something pop out, no one's gonna be scared because you haven't built the tension. We have to be kind of on the on our seat, being like, something's gonna happen, something's gonna happen, and then we relax, and then you pounce. Oh it's a whole thing, you you gotta do it right. They I don't they didn't even try, you know, which is fine.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so yeah, that there's there's not a lot of artfulness to this movie, you know.
SPEAKER_03:No, there's no subtlety involved whatsoever.
SPEAKER_01:Except that some of the special some of the Freddie special effects are real nice.
SPEAKER_03:No, I mean, there's this has one of my favorite shots from a Freddy movie when he comes out of the water the lake at the end and he like kind of flies up and she's on the dock. That's a beautiful shot. Yeah, that is a really lovely, it's red cast, it's very nicely done. And so there, you know, there's people that know how to do things working on this movie, but and the movie looks good.
SPEAKER_01:I think it was lit well.
SPEAKER_03:Um yeah, which is something that they don't really do anymore, you know. Like we're we're in this age where we're like, uh make it dark, make it as dark as possible, it'll be great. I want to see shit, guys.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, and some uh interesting uh uh uh cameos or one one interesting cameo and then a couple of people starring.
SPEAKER_03:Cameo? Who's the cameo?
SPEAKER_01:Well we'll have to find out what you oh okay, we're gonna wait and find out. Let's do it. Well, I got this. I I got HBO Max with commercials to do this. And it has the thing where you click up in the corner, it's like pop-up video, you know, where it tells you information. Sure. Okay. And so that's how I know this one.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, wow. A little you got a little Easter egg in there, huh?
SPEAKER_01:And you know how nice it is? Because you can figure out what these weird characters' names are when the characters' names are insane. So you know, right at the beginning, you're like, oh, there's a character named Gibb.
SPEAKER_03:G-I-B-B. Gib didn't know that until the cornfield when his floating head is there, and he goes, Oh, classic Gibb. And I was like, Gibb? What who's Gibb? And then I had to look it up.
SPEAKER_02:I was like, oh, that's the girl's name, I guess.
SPEAKER_01:It's the dark-haired girl. So we so we're gonna start, lots of spoilers. We start in the furnace room. Freddy is throwing a doll into the furnace, he's menacing a girl, and we find out that he is Freddie Krueger, the Slingwood slasher. He slashes girls, he licks photos to put them into this his album.
SPEAKER_03:Um real quickly, what's interesting, Dan, is like in the originals, it's alluded to that he's a pedo, but they never flat out say it. They're like, he might be, and you're like, uh-oh, that's creepy. And then the townsfolk burn him to death because they think he's a pedo, but you never are fully sure if he did it or not. I mean, he did it, right? Let's be clear. Well, but I don't know. This exact well, so and that's good. That's that's good, that's where you should live. Because in this movie, where you're like, well, yeah, he he's definitely fucking children.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, really?
SPEAKER_03:Takes away the creepiness, and it's more just like, well, I don't want to root for you to kill anybody now because I do think that you should have been burned at the stake. Um and the remake with Jackie Hurl, what's his name? Jackie, the guy from Watchmen.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, Jackie Hurl.
SPEAKER_03:Rorschach. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. So he plays Freddie in the new one. They lean into the pedo a lot in that as well. And it, I just I think it takes the edge off of him a little bit when you're like, oh, you definitely diddle children. I like it when it's alluded to and not confirmed by his own voice and voiceover, where he's like, I like to play with little girls.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, you see, I I took that because he liked to menace them and then kill them. Yeah, I mean, I that's good. I didn't scream.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't take pedophile away. I didn't take pedophile away from this. All right, that's good. Okay. So maybe I'm reading into it too much. Well, we know what Tony's got on the mind.
SPEAKER_01:No negative. So they they burn him up. The parents burn him up because he's kidding. And so they explain that you know even I know this. Freddie gets you through your dreams, you fall asleep, you go to Freddie's realm, and then he does stuff to you there, and then that's that's how the bad happens.
SPEAKER_03:One thing that's very important that I think this movie does get wrong is you do have to go to sleep. It feels like a lot of people are just asleep. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Like in the police station. No, no, wait, what you're saying is this movie does a bad job of m people in the normal movies, you should be fighting off sleep.
SPEAKER_03:Which is a lot of the movie, right? It's a lot of what these characters go through.
SPEAKER_01:They throw out the fighting out sleep and often just have the person, you know, you have a cut and then they're asleep, and then they then they wake up at the end. And it's like that it it it it gets rid of all that tension. Tension, yeah, yeah. You were missing some tension.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Completely missing tension in this movie.
SPEAKER_03:Because we're just we're avoiding it almost on purpose. It's like, you know, but let's not deal with it, and just skip to the we'll skip to the good parts, as they say. And those are the good parts. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, okay, so that's what he's but the thing, the problem is that the people on Elm Street have forgotten about Freddie, so he can't driven.
SPEAKER_03:So I'm a little confused. The kids all have right. So here's why this is my my biggest problem with the movie. Is the wife, her mother, Lori, Lori's mother, is killed by Freddie four years ago. Okay. She's an adult. Yeah. All of the adults still remember Freddy. The cop, the main cop, is deathly afraid of Freddie. He's like, you can't say his name. Why if Freddie killed the mom who's an adult, isn't that just give him free reign to kill adults? I I know in the movies he's generally just killing children. I just don't understand. I'm a little confused.
SPEAKER_01:He can only get Roland from kids.
SPEAKER_03:Kids let him. But why how did he kill the mom? But how did he kill the mom? Because the kids let him out. They let him out? Yeah. I don't know. It's it's confusing. The rules are confusing to me.
SPEAKER_01:The kids through their dreams give him power, and then he has more power and more power, and then he can invade the real world if he wants, right? But how do we stop listening doesn't really matter? If we stop him, we put everybody in a coma.
SPEAKER_03:But only the kids. Yeah. The adults still remember. He's at his ultimate power where he's killing adults now. Shutting down just the kids isn't gonna solve it. It doesn't matter. I'm just No no no no no.
SPEAKER_01:You see, the portal is the kids. If you don't have the kids, you can't get to the adults. Right? I just don't I don't know, Dan. I don't know. You see, Tony, I think the problem is is you're looking at that the death of the mom, which leads to like that one interesting sort of issue in here where she stops trusting her dad, which was was fun and you thought was gonna lead somewhere, and of course it didn't lead anywhere. But it doesn't.
SPEAKER_03:So alternate pitch, dad did kill mom.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, you have to do. I mean, yeah, if this was like a real movie, dad killed mom.
SPEAKER_03:So that's my problem with this movie.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, it's a bad movie. It's not a good movie.
SPEAKER_03:I I know, but I bad movies can still make sense, guys. You know what I mean? Like it's no, because then they start making it. I really wanted him to have killed the mom. So you actually have two parallel stories, just like you do with Freddie and Jason, where it's like Jason's killing people, they think it's Freddie, but then it's also Freddie. The dad also killed the mom. I don't know how you bring that back in at the end, but like I wanted I wanted that to be a real thing that Will saw. It wasn't, and it got it, it convolutes the story unnecessarily.
SPEAKER_01:Well, yeah, but that's it's it's just like in Broken Arrow. It's like Christian Slater's character doesn't have any place to grow to.
SPEAKER_02:Well, that's true.
SPEAKER_01:It's this it's the same thing. You know, you set up a thing, and you're just like, yeah, we we just did that because we wanted to have her mistrust him on the stairs so we can have one scene.
SPEAKER_03:And and she needs to stay at the end to get her revenge, whatever.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Get her revenge. Yeah, it's good. Um here we have a lady. She's looking for she's out at night, it's on the dock, she's gonna go skinny dipping. She's like She's looking for Mike. She's looking for Mike.
SPEAKER_03:We never we don't know who she is, we never see her again. Mike does not exist. Mike Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.
SPEAKER_01:I know. I really expected her to run into the body of Mike, and she never ran into the body of Mike.
SPEAKER_03:Because that's what you do. You reveal the previous deaths. That's just something we do in horror movies. We didn't do it here. Uh, but this is one of my favorite parts of the movie coming up.
SPEAKER_01:Nobody could afford a Mike. Um, she goes skinny dipping, and then she's out there and she's like, This is not funny, this is not funny. And then we just have the fastest turn in the world. She's just out putting on a shirt. She bolts.
SPEAKER_03:She just bolts, dude. It's great. I don't know. I don't know why she's so freaked out, but good for her. Uh, and runs into Jason.
SPEAKER_01:Here's Jason. Well, first, she backs into a tree. No, no, no, no. She sees Jason first. I remember.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, sorry. She sees Jason and then runs some more.
SPEAKER_01:She falls down and she then she backs up and she bumps. She's like, ah, Jason turns around, it's a tree.
SPEAKER_03:And I was like, She doesn't turn around at first, and this is why this is my favorite part of the movie. Because my wife and I had the exact same reaction. She runs into the tree, right? Doesn't turn around, but she slowly reaches her hand back to grab Jason's penis and finds out that it's a tree. Wait, why would she be grabbing Jason's penis? That's a great question because I guarantee you that was the direction. She reaches with her left hand at crotch height to grab the tree behind her. Why would she do that? That's not a natural thing to do. It's so weird. And I was like, why are they making it seem like she's gonna grab his pee-pee? That doesn't make any sense. I I just I was bewildered. I I didn't understand. You either turn around after you touch the tree, or you like, I just don't understand. I don't get it very true.
SPEAKER_01:You don't want to disturb it, you just want to like carefully okay. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03:I'm good.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, because I bumped into your entire body. So now I'm just gonna gently touch you so you don't notice it. What does that mean?
unknown:Jesus.
SPEAKER_01:I thought there was gonna be a Freddie bit, you know, where Freddie was gonna go or something, but no.
SPEAKER_03:Sure, he didn't he didn't show up.
SPEAKER_01:So boom, uh it's a tree, she turns around, but then Jason turns up and just impales her on the tree.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Could have been more fun. And then here comes mom. So Jason's mom is the one that controls him, so she's like blah blah blah. She yells at him a bunch.
SPEAKER_03:Tells him to go to Elm Street. Oh. You know what? I'm just uh we watched this entirely wrong. This is his hell, his purgatory. This is Jason's purgatory because he's dead right now. That's why there's no mic. Yeah, you know. I didn't even I didn't even put that together while I was watching until right now, because the mom comes as Freddie, because Freddie finds Jason in hell to bring him back to start killing.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so yeah, so she he like is the mom is like, you gotta go to Elm Street, and then his body, yeah, his body crawls out of the grave.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, just gets out of the grave. He comes out of graves a lot. That's kind of his thing.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, his heart starts beating and he's all rotten, but he can see it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, he just comes back in different ways over and over. It's great.
SPEAKER_01:And then we see that the mom is actually Freddie in disguise, firing up Jason. So he's firing up Jason to go instill some fear back on Elm Street. Alright! Hey ooh. It's a really good title music, just for like 20 seconds. It was very short. Yeah, great, great music. I don't know if that's the original music or whatever, but great music.
SPEAKER_03:It's a it's a combination of the two. Oh. So they're kind of it's so the is Friday the 13th. Uh-huh. And then like the more musicality one is from Freddy. So they kind of blend them together. It's really nice.
SPEAKER_01:And then I think we go into like a Rob Zombie or a White Zombie song.
SPEAKER_03:And then some sort of rock and roll that I'm not cool enough to know.
SPEAKER_01:Um, so boom. Now we're gonna meet the meet our protagonist, which is Kia, which is Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child. Okay. Um Gibb, who is brunette girl, and Lori, who is she another brunette girl? Maybe not as dark girls.
SPEAKER_03:No, Lori's blonde, and she is uh Eric's girlfriend on Entourage. You mean Emmanuel Ricky? No, well, she well sure, Sloane is the is the main love interest. Uh this this young lady Yes, yeah, yeah. This young lady plays Eric's first girlfriend, and they're broken up in the first episode, and they kind of get back together, and then you know, he has to get his life together. But anyway, she's in Entourage the first season.
SPEAKER_01:It's great. Hot girls, so they're arguing about some pop culture shit, and then train no, no, Dan.
SPEAKER_03:They're playing Mary Fuck Kill the Three Stooges, which is so weird. Pop culture shit. That's what I said. Is the three stooges still pop culture? I feel like pop culture should be a little bit more okay uh recent. Ancient history. There you go. There you go.
SPEAKER_01:Which dinosaur would you marry? Tyrannosaurus Rex or whatever.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_01:Um probably a triceratops, maybe? I think that would be cool. Trey and Blake show up. We get the line, don't be a total cocksmith.
SPEAKER_02:The dialogue, these the teenage quote unquote dialogue in this movie is so bad, dude.
SPEAKER_01:It's pretty cool. The two dudes, Trey and Blake, are just the grossest fat children.
SPEAKER_03:The worst guys in the world. And we men are bad, boys are bad, we are bad people, and these are the bottom of the barrel, right? Like these are disgusting guys. My problem, Destiny's child is the worst friend in the entire world. She's trying to make Lori, this like sweet, innocent girl, hook up with this dirt bag, this absolute molester dirtbag. It's like, uh, why don't you just show me a room? And she's like, just go with him. Just go with him, go have sex with him. What is happening, Damn?
SPEAKER_01:Trey is not as bad as Blake. Wait, no, Blake is not as bad as Trey.
SPEAKER_03:Which one's which? I can't I don't know the trick.
SPEAKER_01:The available one is not as terrible as the one that's dating Gibb. Oh, sure.
SPEAKER_03:Sure. Yeah. So he's not the worst guy in the world.
SPEAKER_01:They're both terrible.
SPEAKER_03:But they're both terrible people, and no friend, no self-respecting friend would pawn their friend off on this guy.
SPEAKER_01:But Kia does say, time to leave the convent, Laurie. You know? Good line. Good line.
SPEAKER_03:So it's worth it. It's worth it when you get funny lines.
SPEAKER_01:We do a feng shui thing, which was terrible.
SPEAKER_03:Um do you know a lot about feng shui? Is that a line? I don't understand.
SPEAKER_01:It was like that's the display carrot kid is gonna talk about feng shui.
SPEAKER_03:Like, you know, no.
SPEAKER_01:I read a home and garden magazine. Yeah, he should be like, see me on the ball team with the ball.
SPEAKER_03:I threw the ball. The ball team. Please say the ball team. It could be any sport at that point. I love it. It doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_01:Any of the balls. Um, he goes back there, sees the back doors open, he closes the back door. Boom. Uh, Gib and uh Trey are upstairs having the sex very quickly.
SPEAKER_03:Very briefly.
SPEAKER_01:Very brief sex. We got we had a little nudity at the beginning. We have a little nudity around here.
SPEAKER_03:A little, yeah, a little bit, a little bit, but it it's he okay. So is this the when they finish and he's like, Don't touch me.
SPEAKER_01:That was that was probably the best line in the whole movie, actually. They finish having sex, and she's like, What's cuttle time? And he's like, I don't like being touched after sex.
SPEAKER_03:It's so weird.
SPEAKER_01:It's so cool. It was so cool. You're so cool, dude. You're so cool. It was just so you just you did, you know, it was so right on the nose, you're like, Yes, right on the nose. This guy's so dangerous.
SPEAKER_02:I know this character, I know him very well. Oh, it was hilarious.
SPEAKER_01:So she goes to take a shower. Uh in comes Jason, and he kind of he kind of gets Blake to light roll over on his stomach.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I think weird move. I think it's kind of a sexy move, you know, just turn him over and get him ready for you. Um, my biggest problem though is that when he stabs the sword down, it's very clearly with the angle they shot the camera, it's very clearly about three feet behind the guy in the bed. Oh, okay. Uh, which is fine. It's just you gotta work on your angles, guys. The depth perception is very important in that. Um, it just made me laugh really hard.
SPEAKER_01:So he he jabs him and then jabs him more so the whole bed just sort of book closes on him. Do you wanna you wanna explain that to me?
SPEAKER_03:I don't know, man. Can you tell me about gravity and how this works out for everybody? Because this bed snaps this man in half.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. That's that's not how beds work. And he bleeds so much that it bleeds off the bed, out the bed.
SPEAKER_01:Ten feet, ten feet away into the bathroom. Like, and then just rolls in there. And so she steps in it, she's just wearing a towel, she freaks out, and then there's just like a cut, and it's everyone fleeing the scene.
SPEAKER_02:Right outside the door.
SPEAKER_01:It's like, okay, I like that.
SPEAKER_03:That's I mean, that's the move, right? You just get out of the house, get out of the house, everybody.
SPEAKER_01:And you don't waste a lot of time collecting everybody up and being like, what's right?
SPEAKER_03:We don't we don't care if you go room to room and get people. Like, let's just go. We're outside.
SPEAKER_01:We don't need to see all that shit. Just get them outside. Uh, police car shows up, the cops show up, and the cops start talking. They're all like, oh, it's the same house, 1428 Elm Street. Oh dear. We can't let the kids know. Uh we can't let the kids know it's coded for. We're gonna talk all about Freddie one inch away so the kids all hear about it.
SPEAKER_03:All the time. In fact, we're only gonna talk about Freddie when they're near us. That's the only time it's allowed.
SPEAKER_01:And more importantly, we're only gonna do that off screen so that then they can talk about how they heard the thing that they weren't supposed to hear from somebody who they're not sure who was and how what they were saying.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, it's great. Makes perfect sense. It's really good stuff.
SPEAKER_01:Very good. Uh, there's a rookie there, and so we know he's gonna screw things up or do something dumb. And then Lori's sitting, Lori's sitting by herself, and she's all like, I just gotta remember the name that they said a couple minutes ago. What is the name? What is the name? Freddie.
SPEAKER_03:Now, to the listeners at home who haven't seen this movie, you might think that Dan is doing her internal dialogue when in fact she is literally saying this out loud to herself in the police station. It is very weird.
SPEAKER_01:So she starts wandering the halls, which tells us that she's asleep, and there's no one there. And then she sees some drips. She sees some missing kid posters that you know follow you as you walk by. Okay. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah. She sees a small girl. Small girl talk, uh, turns, her eyes are bloody, and then have blood running down them. And she's like, he's coming back. Be afraid.
SPEAKER_03:Creepy kids are great, you know.
SPEAKER_01:I like them. We do some jump rope girls, and then she wakes up. Oh, waking up. Well, hold on. The jump rope girls are very important. They're singing the song. Oh, is it?
SPEAKER_03:They sing the song, the Freddy song. Yeah, it's a little jingle jango. One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door. Five, six, grab a crucifix. Seven, eight. Wait, you grab a crucifix? What does that do? Yeah, you gotta, because he's like a demon. You gotta grab a crucifix to keep him away. I don't remember what seven. I lost the song. Hold on. A crucifix does something to Freddy? Oh no, I don't think it really does. These little girls, they don't know anything. And like locking the door is not gonna do it.
SPEAKER_01:This this is a useless song.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, if you think about it literally, sure, but it's just meant to be creepy. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Why don't you you should write a song that helps them defeat Freddy? One, two, sift through his poo. Three, four, that doesn't work anything. You might be able to use to defeat him, you know, do something like that.
SPEAKER_03:You could use to defeat him. It has to go along with the jingle, Dan. That's a very important part of it, okay? Jingle can be adjusted.
SPEAKER_01:Um okay. Boom. What's going on? Okay. Oh, we cut to Blake at home. His dad is all like, Blake, you were supposed to be home looking after your little sister. Blake's like, I don't care. I'm gonna figure out who this Freddy guy is because they were talking about Freddy, and I'm gonna go kill him for Trey, because Trey was my bro.
SPEAKER_03:Also said out loud in the movie. I just want to make sure people understand that you're not doing a bit. I mean, you're doing a little bit of a bit, but it's a bit based on the fact that these people are saying this out loud. I don't know why.
SPEAKER_01:Let us know what's happening. Um, there's a there's a rustling in the bushes. We're like, oh, oh, Jason's up there, he goes there. They looks back, and they're standing by his by his steps as a goat. Yeah. Is that like a normal Freddy thing? Is to conjure goat goat illusions?
SPEAKER_03:I don't remember a lot of goat work, um, but but I haven't seen him in a while.
SPEAKER_01:You know, like maybe a goat's, maybe he loves goats. And then he's standing there and we see Freddy's shadow. Is this the one where his shadow comes towards the kid? That was the one one really nice effect that I like. Is that one of does it do that to one of the girls later?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, no, at on the street. Yeah, when the shadow comes. Yes. Yeah, this is that. It's nice.
SPEAKER_01:Real nice, real nice imagery. I loved it. Um, he goes back up there. Or no, he wakes up. He wakes up um on the things, so he was asleep and he imagined, he dreamt all this, and boom, there's his dad missing his head. Here's Jason, you're dead.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, it's weird, right? No, I mean it's good. I liked it. I mean, it's like a funny bit, but he wakes up and his dad is just like staring blankly. And it's just because his head's been decapitated. I don't know. It's weird. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I get he's dead. I just thought it was pretty weird. Boom. I want to finish the song. Hold on. I looked up the lyrics because the last two are very important, Dan. Do they help you defeat Sandy? Not defeat, but stay away. So it's 7-8, gotta stay up late. 9-10, never sleep again. So, you know, that helps. That's all you gotta do is never sleep again. Easy peasy.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, cut to the mental hospital. This is where Will is, Lori's ex-boyfriend who disappeared after her mother died. Unnecessarily convoluted. Yes. Yes. He sees the TV, boom, he finds out that things are going south on Elm Street, so he's like, I gotta get out of here. He has his buddy Mark, who's been there with him also. Um, and so Mark goes full. Mark figures out that he's gotta help his buddy get out, so he goes full monkey. Which is so weird. He puts his butt on the window. Does he fart on the window?
SPEAKER_03:He definitely farts, yeah. There's a little yeah. I th I thought you would have loved that. I thought you would have written that down as your favorite part of the movie. I just wanted to make sure that happened.
SPEAKER_00:I thought I heard the fight. I thought you were making it up a little bit. Did they really have him fart?
SPEAKER_03:That's kind of crazy. They sure did, yeah. Because, you know, monkeys. I don't know what that means.
SPEAKER_01:So they pull out the big sedation, put up sedation, drag him back to the room, and he's all like, Mark, why'd you do it? Mark, why'd you do it?
SPEAKER_03:Mark, like, boing, pulls out. Like, I'm he's so high, but he can still get the bitch. He's not high. He's sedate. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that not because you know, the saw uh I wanna be sedated, isn't that about drugs?
SPEAKER_01:It's about being sedated. Yes, being sedated is a drug. There's up. Do you know what an upper and a downer is, Tony? Uppers, downers, lefters, writers. I mean, I you know, we can do them all. I don't know anything about drugs. What is alcohol? Uh is it a stimulant or is it a depressive? It's gotta be the D one.
SPEAKER_03:There it is, you're right. I knew it. I knew it. So he stole the keys. Although, yeah. Ironically, my dad, much nicer when he's uh having a little bevy in him. He's like the opposite because he's like a real Grumposaurus. Yeah. But when he gets a little alcohol in him, he's actually really funny. He's like a really funny, nice guy. Well, some people go the other way, so I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So you should put something in his food.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, I'll keep that in mind. Just slip it on in there.
SPEAKER_01:Um, so he stole the keys. I was like, oh, I didn't did you expect him to steal the keys?
SPEAKER_03:No, I don't even know how he did it, to be honest with you, but I think it's great.
unknown:It's great.
SPEAKER_01:Uh the next day, Lori stealed.
SPEAKER_03:But let me ask you a question, Dan, because let's say you steal the key. How does that stop the cameras and the you know patrols? How do you you I still don't think you could get out just because you have the key doesn't mean you're gonna be able to get out. I gotta tell you something about mental institutions, Tony. Okay, tell yeah, about you from your time there. Yeah, talk to me. They don't have patrols. Are you sure? I don't know. They don't have patrols. Usually it's just I feel like I've seen movies with patrols.
SPEAKER_01:That's all I'm saying. Oh, mental institutions. If if you have a if you have somebody's baski, you're you're I mean, you might have to walk past a nurse's station, and that would be a problem.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, probably aren't gonna well, they're not gonna do a lot though, right?
SPEAKER_01:Think about Linda Hamilton in uh Terminator 2.
SPEAKER_03:She kicks ass, though. You know what I'm saying? She has because she takes a syringe, she knocks someone out, doesn't she? I can't remember.
SPEAKER_02:It's been a while since I've seen it.
SPEAKER_01:The one thing she has to have to get past is the the nurses, you know, with a guard.
SPEAKER_03:Yep, that's yeah, that's true. There's not a lot, there's not a lot of patrols. All right. Okay. Jesus, Tony. Okay. Well, Dan, I've never been to one, okay? Because I'm too sane.
SPEAKER_01:The next day, Lori's dad, you can't go to school. She's like, I'm going to school. She goes to school. Um at school, they oh, the doctor, her dad talks to the cops, and they're all like, we gotta keep this contained. Like, okay, he's gotta keep it contained. Uh at school, they talk about Blake being dead, his dad being dead, and now we meet our boy Linderman.
SPEAKER_03:I love this kid. I love this kid. He's in um Just Friends. He's wonderful.
SPEAKER_01:You mean the actor? Yeah, the actor.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he's in Just Friends with Ryan Reynolds. He plays his little brother. They have beautiful banter. He's great. I love him.
SPEAKER_01:I think there should be a Linderman spinoff.
SPEAKER_03:I'm in. But he's dead, Dan.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, okay. Do tell. Freddy's dead.
SPEAKER_01:I want to hear more. Right? He's he does something. He's dead, but he's doing something.
SPEAKER_03:He's doing something. You know, as dead people do.
SPEAKER_01:So it's like, you know, from the pages of Freddie vs. Jason Linderman.
SPEAKER_03:I think honestly, I think maybe you're gonna want to decouple yourself from Freddie vs. Jason. Maybe just do a standalone with him. People won't have to know.
SPEAKER_01:I think people like this movie. Do they?
SPEAKER_03:I like it.
SPEAKER_01:Uh boom, boom, boom. Okay, here we go. Uh Linderman, he's the nerd, he's a datadork. Uh Kia makes fun of him. This the stoner dude who is what's his name? He's Jay and Silent Bob. He's playing Jay from Jay and Silent Bob. If a guy playing Jason Mews, it's very weird. Should have gotten Jason Mews.
SPEAKER_03:It would have been funnier. That would have been great. Just like Scream 3 does. They make a little cameo in Scream 3. Don't worry about it. It's really them in Scream 3? Yeah, it's really them. Oh wow. Because they're on like the back lots of the studio because it's all about the making of Stab 3 or whatever. Um, it's funny. It's very funny.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, that's cool.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um so he's her organizing a party. Lori, of course, takes this time to tell each and every kid that she meets about Freddie.
SPEAKER_03:Every single one. I don't think this is how it works. Like, I understand the idea of it, but I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, I know it's not a good idea, but also like, would you tell everyone? I don't know. I just don't feel like that's gonna come up all the time.
SPEAKER_01:I don't think it's a good idea to be telling everybody.
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, one of the people she tells is Evangeline Lily. What? Really? I I totally missed her. They just pan over her, she her face appears.
SPEAKER_00:Her face disappears.
SPEAKER_01:It's oh man, I love that.
SPEAKER_03:Fraction of a second. Hey, everyone's got their first job somewhere, you know?
SPEAKER_01:Good for her. You're like, oh, maybe we'll see her in another season. Nope, that's it. No, nope, nope. You'll see her 20 years later. And she's all right. She looks she looks like she's 24.
SPEAKER_03:Well, she probably is, right? Um, she's definitely not young. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Will and Mark appear. Um Mark appears and says some stuff, and then Will appears, and then Lori faints.
SPEAKER_03:Now, Dan, maybe you can explain this to me as well. Why does nobody know who Mark is? I don't know. Okay, so four years, let me just set the scene for everybody. Four years ago, which isn't that long ago, Will and Mark, who are clearly best friends, uh witnessed a murder, and Will's brother knew Freddy and got killed by Freddy, so he's obviously in the same town. So Mark went to school with everybody. Everybody knows Will. Nobody knows Mark. What's going on here? What's going on?
SPEAKER_01:You know, there's some kids that are in the background. You know, they're just like, I'm a background kid. Yeah, he doesn't feel like a background kid. I don't know. He's pretty limpy. Will appears, Laurie faints, Lori ends up in the nurse's office, uh, Kia's in there looking after her. She starts looking at plastic surgery magazine. Uh-oh, what we didn't realize was she fell asleep and she's in Freddy's realm. Right. What? Got your nose, pulls off her nose.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, that was funny. That made me laugh. That was good.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, boom. The boys are on the run because they had to run away. They they go to the library, they're hiding. They talk about how the the parents are hiding the truth. Fear equals power. Uh Mark screwed up the town's plan. Oh, the town's plan. So they're the town's plan is all screwed up now, so they gotta get try and get Will and Mark. Right.
SPEAKER_03:But it's already too late, right? Like we can all recognize that it's already out. So at this point, they're probably not the priority, guys. Just throwing that out there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, the monsters are the priority. Uh boom. We got a cool van. So Will has a cool van, which is Mark's older brother's van. Don't mess it up. We're like, that man's getting messed up. And then it doesn't really. Yeah, it does. It gets destroyed.
SPEAKER_03:A little. They roll it. It's fine. Just lift it back up.
SPEAKER_01:That has paintings on the side. Those paintings are destroyed.
SPEAKER_03:Paintings. I guess that's I guess that's true. Some sort of uh graffiti artwork on the sides. That's true.
SPEAKER_01:No, it's beautiful. Spring airbrush paintings. I don't, I don't know. Conan the barbarian.
SPEAKER_03:What's an airbrush? Oh, you said airbrush. Okay. I think it's an air. Like a painter brush. And I was like, you dip the little springs in ink, and I don't know how to do it anything.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, all old brushes are made. I mean, the most expensive brushes are made of sable hair. Just like what's a sable? Like a I think it's a little uh furry creature.
SPEAKER_03:Furry creature, all right. You know, I don't I didn't know that. Is that why it's so soft? Sable hair. I want I want a sable. But it's cute. I'm gonna look it up.
SPEAKER_01:That'd be interesting. You make all your brushes from the from the hair of your own pets? That'd be kind of weird.
SPEAKER_03:That would be super What is this thing? Oh my god, I just looked it up. I love it. It's like I mean, it's like the ugly kind of cute, you know what I mean? So it's got kind of a fox-like face, but it's got a pudgy little body, like a fat cat mixed with a fox. It looks like it's in a tree, like a koala. It's pretty great. I like it.
SPEAKER_01:Kind of like you, Tony.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, thank you. Do you want to make a brush out of my hair? You can have all of what's left, Dan, to make one brush. Very small brush.
SPEAKER_01:Um, okay. Party in the cornfield time. Party in the cornfield.
SPEAKER_03:You ever do a party in the cornfield? We didn't have cornfields, but we've done farmers fields.
SPEAKER_01:What's a what's the difference between a cornfield and a farmer's field?
SPEAKER_03:Well, I guess I don't know what the actual definition of a farmer's field is. Ours was just like a big field that a farmer owned, but didn't actually grow anything anymore. Like it used to be a farm and grow stuff, and then he stopped. Because I assume the guy that was actually the farmer died, and then his you know, kids took over and they didn't grow any shit. So we just used to fuck around in the farmer's field. Uh, it was cool. You'd have a big party there? Not a big party, but you know, you'd bring out a couple cars, light it with lights, and then play like night football and stuff. It was fun. Wouldn't you trip like on the you know the farm? All the time. Yeah, all the time. Because that that ground is not flat. It's there's holes, there's divots. It's great. Did anybody important injure themselves in one of these games? No. I didn't hang out with important people, Dan. Oh, that's I mean, the QB. I mean, they were all cool people. I didn't hang out with the QB. I was an offensive lineman. So there's a couple of linemen there. Uh are we all linemen? There's a couple basketball players there, Andrew Chalmers, Matt Midtoon, you know, good guys. Um, but no like important. There's no, you know, no wide receivers, no running backs, none of the fit people.
unknown:Jesus.
SPEAKER_01:Um okay, Kia is mean to Linderman, then he puts her on blast, and then you're like, oh, they're in love.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yeah, I didn't get that. Oh, yeah. Because I just I just don't like her. You know, I'm just really not a fan of her. I'm just waiting for her to die. Wait, pretty much. But if you're Linderman, that's a score, man. Sure, uh, yeah. I mean, I g I guess so, but she's like third out of three. Member of Destiny's Child.
SPEAKER_01:Which I'm not in the movie, Dan. We all see, but you and Todd believe that even if it's not happening in the movie, it's part of the movie. It's part of the canon, sure.
SPEAKER_03:Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, I get it. I get it.
SPEAKER_01:Uh Will and Lori embrace, and then he has to explain to her that he's been in the mental hospital.
SPEAKER_03:But listen, good for him for just being honest right up front. You know what I mean? Like a lot of guys would just lie about it and like try to cover up because they're embarrassed about being in a in a loony bin. Uh, can I say that? Is that offensive now? That's probably offensive. Pretty offensive. Yeah, I'm sorry, everybody.
SPEAKER_01:Gabe wanders off. She sees dead Trey in the in the cornfield. I don't know how that happens.
SPEAKER_03:Basically, his well, she is, you just don't know it, apparently. I don't care. She's passed out because she's such a drunk. Oh, she is a drunk. We set that up.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Um but his head, his head just floating, right? Am I crazy? No, he wasn't.
SPEAKER_01:No, his body. Yeah, there's a body.
SPEAKER_03:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:All right. So she falls there, finds a silo, goes inside, she's in Freddy's lair. She hides in a locker for a little while. And then while she's hiding in the locker, some weird guy from the party finds her unconscious body and starts having sex with it? Is that what happens?
SPEAKER_03:I mean, basically, yeah, he doesn't get that far, but that's where he's going for sure. He's kissing on her neck and stuff. Like, this is the worst thing to happen to anyone in a movie, right? So she's being tortured by Freddie in her dream. That is true. She's being molested by a creep in real life, and then Jason is gonna come and kill her on accident, basically. Like, what the hell? This is terrible.
SPEAKER_01:It's a bad, it's a bad, bad karma going on there. It's a bad way to go. Gibb is not uh short no, no, it's it's bad. So yeah, Jason just wanders over there and kills her.
SPEAKER_03:And this well, he kills the molester, which is scrape, but then the the the thing just goes through him and hits her, and then she's also dead. Very sad stuff.
SPEAKER_01:Freddie gets pissed.
SPEAKER_03:It's so mad. She's mine.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because that's the now, you know, now we've got the conflict. We finally set we've gotten to the conflict point, which is Jason's gonna want to kill everybody, and that's not gonna leave anybody for Freddie to mess with.
SPEAKER_03:Because that's how he gets his power, is by creating more fear, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And so Jason's confronted by two stoners, he twists the one guy's head around in a very terrible digital effect, just yeah, it's pretty great though.
SPEAKER_03:Uh uh, what does the guy say? Just he says something very simple and very funny, and I don't remember what it is. He's just like, oh shit. Something like that, like very, very matter-of-fact, and it was really nice.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that guy's kind of funny. Um and then he gets set on fire somehow, and everyone's running. And we got this nice shot of him. They have have him on fire going through the cornfield and look stupid, but then we have this overhead shot.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that's the money shot.
SPEAKER_01:Nice shot. If we'd have if we'd have scored that well, if we'd have done that really silent, it would have been like, oh fuck.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Would have been cool.
SPEAKER_01:His machete's flaming, and then he reaches the party and just starts wading into a thing they do in these movies commonly.
SPEAKER_03:No, definitely not. Like, usually it's he picks them off one or two at a time and you know, stalks some people and then murders them. This is just like a weird orgy bloodbath thing. I I don't know, man.
SPEAKER_02:It's it's it's wild.
SPEAKER_01:I was there for it.
SPEAKER_02:Of course you were. So was he. He loved it.
SPEAKER_01:Our hero, our our heroes find Gibbs' dead body, they run to the van, they get the they get out, and then they're wait, oh, they don't have Jason's body yet. Okay. They're freaking out, they're freaking out because they're like, we can't trust the police. But then they're like, but I guess we'll just go home. Linderman's like, take me home. So they all just go home.
unknown:Yep.
SPEAKER_03:Yep. He's just like, I don't want to deal with this, just bring me home. That's the dumbest thing you could do.
SPEAKER_01:But before Will says goodbye to Lori, he's like, I gotta tell you, your dad killed your mom.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, here you go. Go into the house with your dad. All right, see you later. Blah blah. And then we have this uh pretty actually the probably the best acted scene where the dad is all like, come to me, and she's all like, You killed mom, and she's all like show me the death certificate. And the dad's menacing her on the stairs, and she runs away up the stairs and then out the window and climbs out, and then she gets out that window real fast, by the way.
SPEAKER_03:She is like out and behind that tree before he can break down the door. It's pretty great.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and then she runs into Will in the rain, so they just go back to the van and they can no longer trust adults. None, zero adults.
SPEAKER_03:Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, let's see. Mark is asleep in the bathroom. Oh, this this is the creepy Mark in the bathroom asleep scene. Is that you you felt that way?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it's kind of creepy. I was distracted because this is the biggest bathroom I've ever seen in my life. I get that, but even in the dream, I would be like, wow, look at this bathroom. This is the size of my bedroom. Uh, I just kept thinking about how much space there was everywhere, and I couldn't I couldn't pay attention.
SPEAKER_01:Maybe that's the movie we need to make, Tony, where every person, every person in the situation is a comedian.
unknown:Right?
SPEAKER_01:And so they're always pointing anything at. Wow. This, you know, they're like doing a bit. So your whole bit through this would be about how big the bathroom is. Oh, I got knocked across this bathroom. Oh, lucky it's so big that I didn't hit it in the walls. 15 feet across. That's incredible. But he's running bits. What's the square footage of this place? Yeah. Uh his dad comes out of the pool, the the bathtub. That's his older brother. Oh, it's older brother. The older brother that died. Yeah. That looked like that guy looked like he was some sort of actor.
SPEAKER_03:I I felt the same way. I didn't look it up. I felt the same way. I was like, I feel like I know this dude. But then he was kind of doing his scene, and I was like, ah, maybe I don't, because he's not great.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. What happened?
SPEAKER_03:How does this does he just wake up? No, he doesn't wake up. This is where he dies. He dies. Yeah, because he's asleep in his room, technically. So he like half wakes up as he's being attacked in the dream because uh Will and Lori come to the window and are seeing him, and he's getting cut. Oh. And then he gets um set on fire. And then he dies. I don't remember exactly, but he dies.
SPEAKER_01:I like the kit bland Marcus. I thought it was good.
SPEAKER_03:He's great. We I've seen him in a bunch of stuff too, I feel like. He plays. Did you you remember um the Santa Claus movie? Um the horror Santa Claus, the diehard Santa Claus movie with uh with the with the guy from Stranger Things. Uh so Violet Knight?
SPEAKER_01:Is that what it's called?
SPEAKER_03:Violet Knight, thank you. He plays the crazy uh elf uh bad guy that is that is terrorizing the family. Oh, okay. He's he's one of those guys. He's great in that movie. Yeah, that movie is a lot big difference, obviously, but yeah, he's great in that movie.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, because what's his name has that? Is it called Violet Night, Silent Night, Violet Night? No, it is.
SPEAKER_03:It's Violet Night. You you got it, you nailed it.
SPEAKER_01:He did that one. Uh, what's his name? And then he also did the uh House has a ghost, and that was really good too.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and he did um Gran Turismo in that same time, which is one of my favorite movies.
SPEAKER_01:I think we watched we watched the Gran Turismo, it was good.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Sheriff, the sheriff says, Close up the town! Nobody says his name.
SPEAKER_03:It's interesting. So, what they're doing is they're locking down the town so Freddie can only kill the you know 10,000 people in this one town and never get out. Uh that's not a great plan either, guys.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god. So the kids have a meeting and they figure they they go through and figure everything out. They're like, Well, you see, Jason's doing this, and they nail it.
SPEAKER_03:It's it's actually fun to watch because, in general, like most movies, people are like, What's happening? I don't know what's going on. These kids know everything, every detail. They were like, ah, well, he's doing it because he did this, and now he can't control him, and he's doing this. And then the girl on the couch is like, and one's afraid of fire, one's afraid of water. We'll have to use that to our advantage. And I was like, what is happening? These kids know everything, they're definitely gonna win. And then they barely win. It's kind of sad.
SPEAKER_01:Then Laurie, Lori, we don't see it, falls asleep, and then there's basically they start to continue talking, and they're like, Well, maybe just give Freddie a sacrifice. Yeah, how about Laurie?
SPEAKER_03:Tie her up. My is it's a great little moment. Jason Ritter gets the line that's well, let's tie the bitch up. I was like, All right, that's cool. Yeah, good for you. It's funny.
SPEAKER_01:And then I think Freddie shows up, and then she like grabs it by the ear, and then they wake her up, and so she tears off his ear.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah, and then that's when she learns that she can bring things back through the dream realm to the real world.
SPEAKER_01:There it is, and throws it on the ground, and then they step on it because it's a yeah, you don't want it.
SPEAKER_03:It's gross.
SPEAKER_01:And they also find out about hypnosil, which is this pill that makes you sleep without dreaming. Yeah, yeah. So they're gonna go to the hospital. They find the coma ward where all these kids are are suspended there because things should go well with them.
SPEAKER_03:Here's another little problem, right? Yeah. Jason Ritter, who's just figuring out all the stuff in the movie, which is great, yeah, is the one telling everybody else that, oh, this is the D-wing. This is for all the people that couldn't stop dreaming. But he didn't realize he wasn't dreaming until we were in this moment of the movie. So I don't understand why he knows that these guys were dreaming. It's a little little weird, little loophole here. Plot hole, not a loophole. Plot hole, sorry.
SPEAKER_01:Somebody has to fight the hookah monster in the comward. I don't remember who that is.
SPEAKER_03:That is uh the stoner. Oh, sorry. Obviously.
SPEAKER_01:So the stoner fights the the hypnomon the hookah monster, but then he gets taken control of. Yeah, the worm goes right into his mouth. And so he's throwing away all the hypnocils so they can't use it. And right when this is happening, then Jason attacks. The the one rookie cop is there, he gets electrocuted. Electrocuted, yep. Linderman runs, and then they use the stone. Oh, okay, so yeah. Freddy takes over the stoner and then is gonna knock out Jason with Yeah, he wants to bring him onto his on his dream plane. Then I wrote some words I can't understand. Jason goes down. Oh, they cut somebody in half. Who gets cut in half? The stoner does.
SPEAKER_03:The stoner. The stoner. So the stoner gives him the shots in the neck to subdue him, and then Jason just cuts them right in half. Yep. As you do.
SPEAKER_01:And now Jason is in Freddy land because he's knocked out, and we have this whole sort of fight in the in Freddy land where it's uh we do pinball machine, we do tear off arms and grow new arms.
SPEAKER_03:There is a I do like the line where he loses one arm and Freddie goes, No, not my arm. Like so cheesy and hammy. Like it's fun. Stupid, but fun.
SPEAKER_01:Very stupid. Uh, there's some water things, the lights turn green, and I don't know. Oh, and then the water is between Jason and Freddie, and so Jason can't move because he's on like water.
SPEAKER_03:Freddie figures out that he's afraid of water and then traps him in a water circle or something. Is he really afraid of water? I mean, I don't know, dude. So the answer is very like he's in water a lot. I know that he drowned in water, but like I feel like he's in water a lot of the time.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so he loses his powers.
SPEAKER_03:He comes out of the lake at the end and he's not like running because he's scared. He just slowly comes out of the lake. So I I don't know, dude.
SPEAKER_01:So they've loaded Jason's body in the back of the van. They're gonna drive it to Crystal Lake.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. How hard would that have been, by the way? This dude's big. Jason's big. It would have taken all of them to get him in that van.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that is true. Man. See, the problem was I was watching, I usually watch on my computer and then I took it out to the front and was watching it on the big screen.
SPEAKER_03:And I just as it deserves.
SPEAKER_01:I just don't take as good a note. And so I write these things down and I'm like.
SPEAKER_03:Is it because you're not as close to it? Like physically? Like when you're in the laptop, you're like deep inside.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, well, I'm just like, when I'm there, I'm like laying back.
SPEAKER_03:Relaxing, having a good time smoking a cigarette, apparently. Yeah. I'm allowed to smoke inside. You know I don't like to be touched after.
SPEAKER_01:Um, we get a flashback of Jason as a boy. Oh no, we go in and we also go inside his brain.
SPEAKER_03:And then let's go a little deeper.
SPEAKER_01:And then Lori is gonna go in. So she's like, I'll fall asleep for 15 minutes, and then I'm gonna lure Freddie out so that we can kill Freddie and Jason at the same time somehow. So she's like, set this for 15 minutes, and she's like, I'm going in. And she goes into Crystal Lake in the 50s. We see Jason being bullied, Lori tries to help, uh, then he's drowning, and then it we find out that he has asthma. I like that.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I mean, it makes sense, you know what I mean? Like, he is the character that would have asthma. Um, I do have a question though, real quick, damn. Question. Make it quick. Now, he's got water in the lungs, right? And he's spitting it out. Yeah, yeah. Would blowing air into his mouth do anything? Wouldn't it be chest compressions to get the water out?
SPEAKER_01:I mean, yeah, you're well, you're supposed to get the heart going, right? You go heart, heart, heart, heart.
SPEAKER_03:And then it would, yeah, I don't know. Once you get it. I just thought that maybe this was the wrong move.
SPEAKER_01:You know what you could do? I'm gonna tell you something, and this is gonna freak you out, Tony. Uh-oh. You can hyper-oxygenate water.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. I'm sure it would freak me out if you explain all of those words except for water. That one I understood.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. You take water and then you inject just all this oxygen into it. Just oxygen, oxygen, oxygen. Because it's H2O. So you're just adding more O. No, you well, you're just putting, it's like, you know, like carbonated water, right? It has all the bubbles in it. Yeah, so you're doing that, you're adding all this water. So you're making it hyper-oxygenated, then you take a monkey, you push the monkey under the water, the monkey breathes in the water, and then the monkey's entire lungs are filled with water. Is that what they do in the abyss?
SPEAKER_03:Kind of. Because they fill the liquid and then he sucks in the liquid, and then all of a sudden he's breathing liquid, and I was like, there's no way that that's right.
SPEAKER_01:That's hyper-oxygenated liquid. And then what it is is your lungs, all they do is suck oxygen out, and they can suck it out of the water.
SPEAKER_03:I think that's cool. So I could live underwater, is what you're telling me. Yeah. But not regular water. No. How do I in real time hyperoxygenate the water so I can just live underwater?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think that's what they did in the abyss, right? They made that water and then you carry the water on your tank, a tank on your back.
SPEAKER_03:Sure, but I'm saying I'm in the ocean. Okay, someone throws me, I'm I'm walking the plank, I'm down at the bottom, I've got you know weights tied to my ankles, I'm gonna drown. How do I fix this?
SPEAKER_01:Unless you have it all set up, you probably don't.
SPEAKER_03:Unless sorry, I gotta prep. Okay, it's all about prep. Got it.
SPEAKER_01:So boom, they're driving, boom, fan flips. Jason is ejected out of the back of the van in the funniest ejection from a vehicle scene ever. They just like throw it out. I mean, so far, just launches out of the back.
SPEAKER_03:It's hilarious. I loved it. I thought it was real great.
SPEAKER_01:Jason escapes, Freddie, Lori is with Freddie, and we see Freddie killing the mom, I guess.
SPEAKER_03:I wrote Yeah, yeah, this is yeah, we do a flashback, the dad's there, but then it's it's really the the Freddie. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Jason arrives, he starts a fire, Lori's arm burns, and so she wakes up. Then we have Jason versus Freddie in a fire, and we have yes, we have Jason versus Freddie in a fire. I don't remember that scene at all. Yeah. We start a bunch of scenes where they fight. Yeah, yeah. And it's mostly just like because Jason can't die, Freddie can't really die.
SPEAKER_03:So you're like Yeah, so they're just doing stuff to each other.
SPEAKER_01:What's the point of all this?
unknown:There's no point.
SPEAKER_01:Just for fun, you know? Uh Lindeman gets stabbed. Lindeman gets stabbed. Now we have Lori versus Will. And no, Freddie versus Lori and Will. Then we have Kia versus Freddie. So the two of them face off of him. Will gets Will's been kind of injured. Then Kia's like, let me take care of this. I'm not afraid of Freddie. She's all like, come at me, Freddie, come at me, Freddie.
SPEAKER_03:Because they're in they're in the room and it gets set on fire. That's what happens. Yeah, yeah. So it does happen. Yeah, I remember.
SPEAKER_01:So Kia's taking on Freddie and she's like, I'm not afraid of you bitch. And they they and then Freddie just like kills her, I think.
SPEAKER_03:No, no, no. Freddie points basically behind her, and Jason's there, and then Jason uh slashes her and she flies into a tree. She flies a long way. She goes, she goes a really long way. Almost the full length of that bathroom. That's how far she went.
SPEAKER_01:Big bathroom. Uh Freddie starts shooting gas tanks and rebar. He gas tanks at Jason.
SPEAKER_03:Race is like, oh, oh, it just kind of moves a little bit. You're moving too much to what he did. He just kind of turns his shoulder and it misses him.
SPEAKER_01:It's like, what's going on? But he gets hit by two of them. Yeah. Then there's this big pile of rebar. He pushes that off, and the rebar comes out. I like the rebar.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, that's cool.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and then there's like this one big thing that goes boom, boom, boom, and I was like, oh, they're gonna bury him in concrete.
unknown:Nope.
SPEAKER_02:Nope. That's not what was happening. Nope. Sure, they sure weren't, Dan.
SPEAKER_01:Freddie falls. I already get caught. Man, I can't read anything I said. Mine can't knock to the deck. Minecart. Oh, there's this minecart that they lose. It goes down, hits somebody, knocks them over.
SPEAKER_03:Freddie hits them both, I think, and they both go fly flying, I think.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Then uh Freddy cuts off Jason's fingers.
SPEAKER_03:I like that. Sticks his That was yeah, it was a nice moment because he's got the machete, and he's about to like hit him and he slices his fingers, and then Jason has a moment where he looks at his fingers. It's really great. He's like, What? Where are my fingers? Yeah, good. And then the tides have turned.
SPEAKER_01:Claws into the mask, and then he says, Go to hell, and they're locked in death, and then something, oh, there's all this propane, and that blows up.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. Well, because that's what Will and Lori are doing is they're throwing gasoline on the dock, and then they kind of light it all ablaze.
SPEAKER_01:And then right before it blows up, they dive into the lake for safety. So then I guess Freddie and Jason get blown up into the lake.
SPEAKER_03:Sort of. Yeah. Well, yeah, they do, because they show the body flying to the lake. So yeah, they do.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, and then they're just Jason. Then Jason reappears, but no, it's not Jason, it's Freddie.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. They do a misdirect. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's nice. And then Jason, then Freddie gets impaled by Jason with his own hand.
SPEAKER_03:With his own hand. That's the key. That's what's fun about it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I think they both end up in the lake.
SPEAKER_03:Um, yeah, well, so Jason, after stabbing him, is too tired, so he takes a nap in the lake, falls into the lake by himself, and then Lori slices Freddy's head off and he falls into the lake. That's why Jason has his head at the end.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So they both fall into the lake. Everyone's everything is over. Uh, and then they just leave leave the burning camp. I like the the the the overhead shot. The woods. Yeah, the overhead shots are the nicest shots in the movie, typically.
SPEAKER_03:For sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Then the next day, Jason just walks out of the lake and he's carrying Freddie's head, and then Freddie's head winks you. Yep.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So there you go. That's the movie. And that's fun. Yeah. Silly. What a silly, what a silly time.
SPEAKER_01:They needed to like encase him in concrete or something that made a lot of it.
SPEAKER_03:Something. You gotta do something. And it's thrown back in the lake. Yep, it's fine. He's not that afraid of water, by the way. Just FYI.
SPEAKER_01:He's not afraid of water.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, I'm saying he doesn't seem afraid of water. He slowly walks out of the lake. If I'm afraid of water, one, I don't wait till the next day, right? Like I'm swimming, I'm doing my doggy paddle. I'm trying to get to shore as fast as possible. He's not afraid of water. I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_01:Don't seem to be afraid of water. Yeah. It's fine though. So yeah, this is this is a fun, silly movie.
SPEAKER_03:It's very silly. Very silly. But yeah, I mean, I we have spent worse two hours in our lives. Anything else you want to say about this uh movie? The only other thing I want to talk about is I'm hoping that it's I mean, we're an hour into this thing, so no one's still here. But if you're still here and you have uh encyclopedic knowledge of Friday the 13th, can you let me know if uh he was bullied and murdered by his fellow campers, like they showed in this movie? Because my understanding, what I remember is he accidentally drowns because the counselors aren't paying attention. He wasn't thrown into the water by other children because otherwise he would kill other children. He wouldn't be going after camp counselors, which is what he does. It's very weird. So I when this happened, I was like, this is not right. This is a made-up fairy tale of what happened. I I don't know. I forgot so someone that knows more, let me know if that's canon or not.
SPEAKER_01:I forgot the best part when they go into the fantasy of the 50s camp. Uh, what's her name goes up on the on the couple? Where the when there's like they're just having sex in the middle of the day in front of everybody.
SPEAKER_03:While he's being drowned, which is right. I don't know. But then it's Freddie and he turns around and he's doing it with a dead girl. It gets weird. It gets weird real quick. Then he waves the arm, which did make me laugh.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know. It's weird.
SPEAKER_03:Uh it's a weird movie.
SPEAKER_01:It's a weird movie. It doesn't make a lick of sense, but whatever. Nah, but you don't need it.
SPEAKER_03:You don't need it to make any sense, you know. Good for them.
SPEAKER_01:These movies are just kind of a joke, so you know.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, careful with yourself. All right. There's some good stuff out there, dude.
SPEAKER_03:I I take these movies personally, says Tony. I mean, I like the movies. Not this one necessarily, but I like some of the movies. Yeah. Happy Hall. Jason X was great. Remember that thing? That was fun. I think these two are about equivalent. Jason X and this one about the same. I mean, you're not totally wrong. Jason X is wild. Funnier costumes than Jason X. And the sleeping bag scene, which is unbelievable. Just a 10 out of 10. Uh that's the problem. They don't have super memorable deaths in this movie. No, they don't. I'm just machete, cut you in half, a knife to the chest. Like, where's the fun creativity? I know that sounds weird when you're talking about murder, but that's what it's all about, guys.
SPEAKER_01:That's what it's all about. Tony, tell us about something you late this week.
SPEAKER_03:Um, well, I'm gonna just quickly, and I'll probably do this every week for six weeks. Uh, Chad Powers just hitting again, 100%. But moving on from that, if you haven't watched it, you should watch it. Give it a shot. Uh, we started watching this season of Dancing with the Stars, and the cast is lovely. Oh. Uh, they're great. They're really great. There's some really strong dancers, competitors. Andy Richter is like killing it right now. It's fun. Who's Andy Richter? He's like Conan's sidekick, chubby old guy. He's not good at dance, but he's you know, he's having fun. He's got a good showman, and people seem to like him, and it's great. We're having a good time. It's a lovely show.
SPEAKER_01:Our good friend Sue Kate and her daughter would uh go see a taping. Oh, no kidding. Yeah. Of this season? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, I literally live across the street from where they shoot it, so I see the people all out. But you've never been. God knows.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you don't go. It's fine. I mean, Corey Feldman was on this season.
SPEAKER_01:Did he get voted off already?
SPEAKER_03:I don't want to give any spoilers, but yeah, yeah, he sure did. He was the first one to go.
SPEAKER_01:Not surprising. Um, I started watching this crazy movie called. I think it's called The Rule of Jenny Penn. It's uh John Lithgau and um I love Lithgow. And um who plays Barbosa in the whatchamacallit movies? Captain Barbosa? Jeffrey Wright. No, it's not him.
SPEAKER_03:Isn't that right? No. Is that not? Did I do that wrong?
SPEAKER_02:You got that very captain. Hold on, I can't spell it. What's his name? Fictional character.
SPEAKER_03:Jeffrey Rush. Jeffrey Rush is Captain Barbosa. Sorry. Wrong Jeffrey. I think it's Jeffrey. Jeffrey Wright is the guy from the AI show. And Batman, I guess, if you want to consider Batman a movie. The Batman.
SPEAKER_01:I thought Jeffrey Wright was the comedian that talked like this, and it was very droll. Is it?
SPEAKER_03:Am I wrong on all of these? Hold on. Jeffrey. What did I say? Wright? Wright? W-R-I-G-H-T. Curly haired darts. I don't know. I uh a f an Australian film director came up. You know what? I don't know anyone. It's Jeffrey Rush. I looked it up. Captain Barbosa is Jeffrey Rush.
SPEAKER_01:I think it's Jeffrey Rush, it's in this movie. But it's oh, it's John Lithgow is so creepy and weird, and oh my god, it's and an old folks' home. It's so creepy and spooky.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah, he's good.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know if I'm gonna be able to finish it. That's why I'm talking about it now. Like it's too is it too much? Old folks' homes, you know, that's some harsh shit.
SPEAKER_03:Okay, Jeffrey Wright. Oh, they're all just spelt differently with their Jeffreys, by the way. Jeffrey Wright is the guy from The Batman that I'm thinking of. Um I wasn't totally and Westworld, yeah, yeah. I wasn't totally wrong, but I was slightly wrong.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, that guy. Yeah, I know who that is.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Anyhow.
SPEAKER_01:Who's the droll stand-up comedy? Stephen Wright.
SPEAKER_03:I don't Stephen Wright, yep. You know what, guys? Change some of your names. Okay, just get a little bit more uh more creative. More creative, yes.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, we got through that. Next week.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, what are we gonna do, Dan? We're gonna do a movie. Debatable. We're gonna do James Gunn's Superman movie. And we're gonna get some hate on the internet because, spoiler alert, I do not like this movie.
SPEAKER_01:I watched it. I finished it this morning, and I said to Tony, Tony, should we do this movie? And Tony's like, yeah, I think we have to do it. I mean, there's good stuff in it, but there's just so many weird, terrible decisions that you're just like, why do we have to go through all this?
SPEAKER_03:I we don't. That's the answer. I mean, now we do, because you're making me watch it a second time, which I promised myself I would never do. But here we are. Let's do it.
SPEAKER_01:So we'll be back with James Guns' Superman. Uh, if you like what you see, give us a thumbs up, subscribe, or leave us a message if you want, and we'll talk to you on the internet. Otherwise, we'll be back next week talking about Superman. Goodbye, everybody.
SPEAKER_04:Hey, watch it.