Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Babylon A.D.: Snowmobiles, Submarines, and Supernatural Babies
Welcome back to another episode of Hate Watching with Dan and Tony! This week, we're diving into the 2008 sci-fi flick "Babylon A.D." starring Vin Diesel. A movie so confusing, it made us question if it was even finished!
Join us as we try to make sense of a plot that is "very influenced by Children of Men" but fails to live up to it, a hero who collects $20 cashews, and a finale that leaves you with more questions than answers. We’ll discuss everything from a "virgin birth" to mind-reading "pill babies", and the absurdity of a car chase with no stakes.
This episode is a masterclass in breaking down a movie's baffling decisions and a celebration of what makes a good film truly great.
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- What's the most confusing movie you've ever watched?
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Hold the microphone.
Speaker 2:You got to be more active with it. I do the same thing with this big one. I mean I could just hold this the whole time Two hands probably, because it's heavy.
Speaker 1:It's too heavy for me. I can't hold it for 90 minutes. Dan, it's just too long, it is too heavy for me.
Speaker 2:It is too long and I am too weak. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. It is too long and I am too weak.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan, I'm Tony. On this show, we watch a movie. This time we're watching a movie that we were going to watch then we didn't watch and now we're we're gonna watch it.
Speaker 2:So then we watched it and now we get to talk about it because we haven't talked about it. That's right, because dan changes his mind midweek sometimes and doesn't tell anybody, and then it's a disaster we watched babylon ad uh vin the vinity Vin the. Vinny D the.
Speaker 1:Diesel. Charlotte Rampling. Who's?
Speaker 2:that Is that the girl in it?
Speaker 1:That's the evil woman.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:And Gerard Depardieu.
Speaker 2:Is he the robot man?
Speaker 1:Gerard Depardieu is Gorski, the evil Russian oh.
Speaker 2:In a bunch of makeup or something.
Speaker 1:He got in so much trouble. I don't know if he's harassing women or doing something terrible, being a pest.
Speaker 2:He moved to Russia. I think, yeah, this is the dude that did. He sleeps with Katherine Heigl as his daughter. Right, that's that dude. That is that, dude we did another Gerard Dipperieu movie didn't we yeah, he's a bad guy. He's a bad guy.
Speaker 1:I was looking at the credits and I was like oh my god, that was Gerard Depardieu.
Speaker 2:I did not know. That's so weird. I did not. It felt like I knew him and I knew it was like a weird makeup suit that he was wearing and it didn't look very good, but I was like I have no idea who it is.
Speaker 1:I thought it was, but that makes sense.
Speaker 2:I thought it was Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell pre penguin? Yeah.
Speaker 1:This is the makeup test for penguin 17 years earlier. This movie was made 17 years ago.
Speaker 2:Think about that for one second.
Speaker 1:I it's all the further thought I'm going to give it dan one second, a 2008 hour and 30 minutes classic.
Speaker 2:It was one of the craziest movies we've ever watched. I still don't know what happens in this. Like, I understand most of the a to z, but like b through what's the letter before z? You're s, t, u, e, w, x, y through. Why don't understand anything that happened?
Speaker 1:This movie is based on a book by a French guy who's written a bunch of books and influenced by the cyberpunk movement. You don't say this movie, also very influenced by children of men. Which is a good movie. Yeah, and that's why I go back to children of men. Right, you're like, what is children of men? Like, guy goes, picks up a girl, transports her to a place for a boat, that's it. That's all that happens, that's it. She's possibly the person who's going to save the world but this girl's not, you know what I mean she is, though.
Speaker 2:That's, that's the whole thing. But she's not. She's really just there to save the church. That's what I got out of it. She's just there to be like see, we have a Christ-like birth, so now you should be our church people. I don't think that plan's going to work, dan. Just even if he gives her to them, that plan's not going to work. Nobody gives a shit, nobody even knows who she is. If people were like oh, it's the Virgin Mary reborn, and then everyone wanted a piece of her, but like at this point, the church would just be like oh, by the way, no father of these babies had just popped out. People are like what are you talking about? You're just lying to us.
Speaker 1:I always say to my wife Always that you're just lying to us. I always say to my wife you know, we all, every, every, every day, every few minutes. I say to my wife oh no, we live in this weird trump slash, post trump.
Speaker 2:You know, we're hopefully getting to be post trump at some point, but we are not even a year into trump, so post, so post-Trump, is wrong.
Speaker 1:We're into Trump part two, yeah, where we really see the vagaries and randomness of existence and how people process information. It's super interesting because we're at a point where all the information is pretty much available. You can just go on here, look at it, here it all is, and still the information is denied and ignored and thought not about, and decisions are made by the mass mind. If you wanted to say somebody's the Virgin Mary and do this whole setup, it would fail miserably, yeah big time.
Speaker 1:You can't tell the world anything, but if the world decided that somebody was the new Virgin Mary, they would be the new Virgin Mary, 100%, and that's the direction it has to go.
Speaker 2:The other way around, we can't tell you she's the Virgin Mary. You tell us and then we're like, oh, I'm going to use her for my benefit. That makes sense. This movie doesn't make a lick of sense.
Speaker 1:Oh, because this guy, the guy that wrote this story, he's a what did they say he was? He's like a Christian technocracy guy or something, and so he believes that things are real, right, and the truth of the matter is nothing is real, and you know. So a guy like this wants the thing that he wants to be real to be real, so he writes a story about how it all works out the way he wants it to work out Same reason.
Speaker 2:I'm doing a werewolf Santa Claus movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, correct, it's the exact same reason. Yes, you know, but you see that the best movies and when you go watch Children of Men, that whole movie is about how everything is collapsing. Everything is fucked up.
Speaker 2:It's a sad movie. Nothing goes right.
Speaker 1:It's one of those movies that I watched and I was like, yeah, I probably can't watch this for another 10 years.
Speaker 2:I gotta take 10 years off this movie. I gotta take a break, yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it speaks too much about how the world actually works, as opposed to this movie that posits you know, we're the church and we're going to do this thing, and then you messed it up and it's like, well, no, just let the church do the thing. The church is going to mess it up.
Speaker 2:You're darn right they are. The church is going to fail. I'll tell you that right now. They'll try and they'll fail, and then the next thing will happen. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yes, they'll have some other horrible plan. Go well, accidentally, randomly.
Speaker 2:Accidentally.
Speaker 1:Yep, that makes perfect sense, there'll be like some priest in sub-Saharan Africa that will end up going up through the ranks and becoming the most powerful person in the world and everybody thinks he's the greatest thing, when really he's Satan incarnate. That's what really happens that is what really happens. Yeah, so this movie makes the mistake of thinking that fate and destiny and all these things are real.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:If you're trying to do something about and trying to talk about actual human nature, you can't do that. So that's it. That's it, and that's the show.
Speaker 2:Thanks everybody.
Speaker 1:What do you got for next week, Tony? What did you like this week, Tony?
Speaker 2:We're going to have some fun stuff next week. I can't wait. Oh good, yeah, so that's Babylon AD pretty much in a nutshell. Yeah well, but there's some very important stuff that we're missing like submarines and snowmobiles.
Speaker 1:Snowmobiles doing loop-de-loops, loop-de-loop snowmobiles. So this movie should have been this sort of cerebral thing where we're talking about the church and we were transporting this girl from russia originally in the novel just to quebec, but instead we're going to new york city, new york, new york, that's interesting that he mentions canada.
Speaker 2:Then he's like oh, it's new york right by canada, but we're gonna go right to new york, that's so weird.
Speaker 1:They go to canada into the airport and then in the airport they're're like now you're in America. You're like, wait, what's happening.
Speaker 2:You're like what happened? I mean I got a lot of questions on the travel sequence, dan, so just get ready.
Speaker 1:So it's interesting because this dude French dude moved to Quebec himself, so he lives in Quebec now. So there you go. Oh, okay, Good for him. He has some sort of thing about Quebec and shamanism and all this kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:I love it. I love it. That's one of the best magic cards there are. Shaman of the Pack, MTG. You know that card. It's a good card. I don't know shamanism.
Speaker 1:I mean, I've heard of it, I can't say I mean two green pips and two generic. Probably I would guess right, yeah, probably right around that I don't know.
Speaker 2:It's pretty good. It's pretty good. I think it's an elf. I think it hits your opponent for as many elves you have on the board. I'm pretty sure that's what Shaman of the Pack is.
Speaker 1:So its power is equal to the number of elves that you have on the board of the pack is so it's power is equal to the number of elves that you have on the board, exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Thanks for breaking that down a little bit better. Wow, that sounds like a great. I can't read, dan.
Speaker 1:I don't tell you okay, um, do you want to get it? Let's. Let's get this out of the way. Vin diesel's acting scale of one to ten twelve.
Speaker 2:It's a twelve. This guy's giving it his all um. I think there are different scores for different parts of the movie.
Speaker 1:If I'm really so he does some acting that you you've had.
Speaker 2:I think there's a couple of moments that are kind of fun, not like oh, this guy's a juilliard actor, yeah, but the very beginning, not the very beginning. The voiceover is a zero right. I think we're all in agreement there, which we'll talk about.
Speaker 1:Things happen, the world is the world. I have all these things that I believe I have seven rules. Two of them are not. I'm not going to tell you because they're my secret rules. You don't need to know about those ones.
Speaker 2:What is happening? But I like when he's in the house and they pull up on him and he's like eating breakfast and he gives like three one liners in a row. That are so stupid, but he delivers them so well, like he's. He really believes these things and I'm like, see, that's the action star, like I get. Yes, triple X, great that's a great franchise.
Speaker 2:I'm silly, stupid, fast and furious, silly stupid. That's where great franchise Silly, stupid, fast and the Furious silly stupid. That's where he lives. When he tries to do the more serious stuff in here, I lose the thread a little bit, but I you know what are you going to do.
Speaker 1:I love the guy. He can't sell the real parts of the movie. Which is this movie needed to sell the real parts because the action adventure stuff at the very end there because they're actually adventure stuff. At the very end there's a big car chase and then at the very, very end he's with these two little girl twins. In the French release didn't have the car chase or the scene with the little kids.
Speaker 2:So where does it end? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Okay, I guess it just ends with him finding her at the cabin and then they're going to go live together, or something.
Speaker 2:I mean that's at least better. I mean it's not great still, but it's better.
Speaker 1:Now, when you got to the end of the movie Jumping Ahead and we had the big car chase and then he goes with the two little girls, was your mouth kind of like this Aw, what's happening? This is the end of the movie.
Speaker 2:Well, let me see the notes that I wrote here um did yeah did you feel like the movie was ended? I wrote six notes after he talked to the kids and walked them into the room because I was still so confused on how this was the end of the movie. I asked six questions there.
Speaker 1:That was my question, because it's it is. It is not a satisfying ending to a movie that that got less satisfying as the minutes rolled by at the end.
Speaker 2:I don't even understand the ending, oh.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean? Yeah, I can explain the ending.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, please explain to me later because I have questions along the way, dan, I got a lot of questions and we have very little time to get through them yes, because you know your act three is act three in a movie, and an action movie like this sort of is pretty easy to pretty easy. You know you confront the bad guy, you defeat the bad guy, you know you move on with your life. Then you have your postscript, that's fine. This one gave us this terrible card card battle and then nothing, you know, just was like oh, that's it I guess you ended with that yeah, I guess we're done.
Speaker 2:I guess nobody cares anymore. Everyone just gave up everyone's, just like you know what. This was a failed experiment. Don't worry about it. Keep the kids. What are you talking what? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:you gotta, you gotta drop that diary in the mailbox, you know, to the new york times. You gotta do something. You gotta give us a little something to like oh okay, the bad guy is going to be dealt with, as opposed to yeah, whatever, we'll continue the sit begins and back to the beginning A very good place to start.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I drive by a car and it has a bumper sticker that says save the planet From what, for what? Kill or be killed, finish the job. You can't always walk away, but that one day I died I didn't walk away I mean, you did nutshell it pretty nicely, but I want to highlight two things.
Speaker 2:My first one is the he talks. His first line is something like about the bumper sticker. When I see the bumper sticker, save the planet. When you think they still have that bumper sticker, dan, I didn't see. We saw cars, probably not till 80 minutes into the movie.
Speaker 2:First of all, like cars were not a thing. That happened in russia almost at all, but I don't think any of them had bumper stickers. I don't think any. I don't think that's still a fad where they come from. But he's like what are we saving the planet from ourselves? Yeah, everyone knows what it's like. He doesn't know what the bumper sticker means. Everybody knows what the bumper sticker means. So this guy sets himself up as being stupid, like he's a dumb person that doesn't understand what a very simple bumper sticker save the planet means. It's not like no, you're not saving it from aliens, you're not saving it from an invasion, you're saving it from pollution. Like that's it, that's what you're doing, bud, everybody knows that. So right away I was like super confused yeah, and then and then. But I do. I do want to say I love and that was the day I died Credits. It's so stupid. I love it, I'm hooked, I'm ready to go.
Speaker 1:Well, and then we're going to set up, basically, that he has this thing that you know only works when he's alive, and you're like, well, I guess that's why he's gonna have to die.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense. I don't know, I don't know how to tell you this.
Speaker 1:It makes zero sense it's a rainy day in russia. He's walking along in this sort of military sort of city and we have this sweet rap song like hardcore rap song, like bumping, I love it love it.
Speaker 1:Rza did the music, rza and another guy. Rza did the music, him and some other guy. There's some great music in this movie, great, great music. And you're really kind of bummed out because the movie sucks A lot of. The movie looks pretty good. It looks pretty good. Yeah for sure you know shot pretty well All the action sequences. The director does not know how to shoot any of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean you just bring someone on board for that. You know what I mean? Like just bring a consultant for a couple of days to let you know how to shoot an action sequence. It's fine. There's no shame in that. Everyone's got their strengths right. Like you can shoot one and then watch dailies and be like, well, I don't know how to do that. I'm just going to tell you right now that didn't make any sense. We should bring someone in to help. You know, pride, ego. I think that's the problem.
Speaker 1:I was listening to this one podcast and they were doing like it's a guy that reads stories and he was doing a story from like some other podcast and you know, I got in like five minutes and I was like whoever wrote this story actually knows how to write.
Speaker 2:You know, when someone knows how to do something, you also know when someone doesn't know how to do something, when I have no idea.
Speaker 1:They're not going to figure it out, like the car chase. At the end you're just like, wow, this is really bad. There's like one fight in there where the the camera just spins. You know, he just has it on a rope and he just spins it around, do?
Speaker 2:you think that he's in the middle lassoing it. That's what I think.
Speaker 1:That would actually be pretty cool it was like in battlefield earth when they would shoot the, the things and that guy was yeah, he was yes, yes, he was a real second unit director on Star Wars films.
Speaker 2:He was a real director. Second unit Dan. Second unit okay. That's like, hey, go shoot some B-roll over there. I'm sorry, that was really rude. That's not true.
Speaker 1:But you know he was not a guy that could shoot action. And they were like well, you're a director, right? And he's like yes, I am no don't do it.
Speaker 2:You just fake it until you make it, or you fake it until you mess it up.
Speaker 1:Here's our boy Vinny D, whose name is Turoop. Very bad name, it's Turoop.
Speaker 2:T-O-O-R-U-P. Okay, I wrote T-U-R-U Turoop, that's what I thought they kept saying.
Speaker 1:Turoop, turoop, t Are you.
Speaker 2:Turu, that's what I thought they kept saying. Turu, turup, turup. Okay, like Europe, but different.
Speaker 1:Europe, but with a T, put a T on, it Got it. Yeah, I had to look it up. I didn't get. I mean, you just keep hearing this sort of name and it was never locked in in a way that you're just like. I understand this guy's name. Yeah, understand this guy's name. Yeah, yeah, basically he goes to this guy's tent, drags him out. This guy sold him a gun that doesn't work and he wants his 20 back.
Speaker 2:Now I have a couple of a couple more questions now 20 for a gun that's very, that's a hell of a deal man I've got. Here's my thing. It's like even in 2008, guns were more than $20. So in their mind, in the future, things get cheaper. That's not how anyone anything has worked in the history of time. That's never been how the economy works. Nothing gets cheaper, it only gets more expensive. So I was right away very confused. I was like $20? Why are you even mad, bro? Of course it doesn't work. He sold you a plastic gun.
Speaker 1:I think he sold him a gun that needed an ID is what it was.
Speaker 2:Oh, so like biometric of some sort, it's a biometric gun, okay.
Speaker 1:But I mean here, let's spend one second and solve your problem. What you do is he he's. He reaches in, pulls out the guy's wallet, takes a wad of money this is my money he puts it in his thing and he goes and I'm taking this for my trouble. Boom, character. Note character point we, because you and I both clicked on that $20. You're like $20? I wrote it down right, Because you're just like $20?. What does that mean? Because it means something when you say $20, and we immediately go wait a second, they're not in America. Why is it $20?
Speaker 2:Dollars.
Speaker 1:I don't understand that at all. Rubles, you know, say, 65,000 rubles, I'm like, oh rubles. You know, say 65,000 rubles, I'm like, oh rubles. Oh, we're in Russia, oh, we're in a different country now.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:You know, so it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:And they immediately no, it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:Stuff like that takes you out. It's dumb.
Speaker 2:But I mean, how cool is it that mean this guy real stickler for his 20 dollars or two? I bought a nerf gun that was 64 for my nephew for christmas.
Speaker 1:Okay so like don't come at.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hell, yeah, man, it's automatic. So you, there's like a clip to it. You put the clip in the bottom and there's I think it's like eight bullets in the chamber. You go, it's fucking cool, but it was way more expensive than this gun, so, like, let it go bud.
Speaker 1:Or make it about something funny, Like make it about a hat. Sure, Make it about a scarf. He's going back. This scarf is da-da-da made blah. Whatever. You know, this hat is not my colors. You know, you said this was reversible. Look at this stitching. He beats the shit out of him. He beats the shit out of somebody because the stitching on it I pulled it over, I pulled this part on the fucking sleeve fell off. I'll kill you With that sweet soundtrack bumping in the background. Bam, bam, and that's what we need Hell yeah, when he pulls that guy out.
Speaker 1:we got to get a tight shot. We got to have that guy's face like we got to have Vin Diesel's fist pummeling into the guy's face. It's just blood. And we find out it's over like a $20 bag of cashews that had gone south.
Speaker 2:I love cashews. I would be pissed Now we're talking my language If I opened up because cashews are expensive. We bought this little jar at like $16. So I would have been mad too. Beat up, Mr Peanut.
Speaker 1:Beat up Mr Peanut. He goes, he gets some food, he takes some cigarettes from a kid and he's like I'll buy you later. I didn't understand that.
Speaker 2:I don't know, it was weird, right. Maybe he's got a barter system with the kid, I don't know, maybe they just share six all the time.
Speaker 1:He goes up there girl, says someone's looking for you. He sits down, cooks his his food, sits down to watch tv he's got a tv, real nice tv and then in comes a bunch of bad guys, they blow they. He hears it. Oh, the tower goes down. Yeah, he he. He hunches down because he's got a ball proof vest. I like that. I love that, because they pay attention to certain things in this movie. Right, just not the script. Well, I guess the studio people were on the director's ass. I guess the director made a whole movie about how they were on his ass to, you know, do all the terrible shit that they wanted.
Speaker 2:I tried to watch that. Did you know that it's in French?
Speaker 1:Yes, I know it's in French.
Speaker 2:I see, I didn't know that it was in French, so I turned it on YouTube and then he started speaking French. I was like, well, I can't watch this. What the hell am I doing here? I have no idea what's going on.
Speaker 1:Don't they have translation?
Speaker 2:I mean they might. I got out real quick when I found out it was French. I'm sorry, wow, I'm like I'm the worst kind of American. Okay, oh, it's foreign, I'm done, I'm not going to watch it.
Speaker 2:It's too much work for me, I can't read while I watch things. I can't even read If subtitle's on. I can't even pay attention to the movie, and that's when they're both in English. Okay, so I can't listen to foreign language and then read English and still know what's going on in the movie. I can't do it all. Well, you didn't watch it either, dan.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's going to let you talk yourself out, tony.
Speaker 2:I'm over here digging as fast as I can. I can't get out going down.
Speaker 1:Okay, so these mercenaries come in and Carl's putting his gun to his head and then he's like it's a cool shot.
Speaker 2:I just want to say it's a cool shot when the debris is like coming filling the room and the laser sights are in there. It's a cool shot. It looks really nice.
Speaker 1:And then it sort of deadens out. You know, they kind of do some stuff and then just deadens out. They're like this guy's got a gun on him and then he's got beef with this guy, Carl, and so.
Speaker 2:Because Carl didn't live up to his word or something, or lied to him something like that, and he's like he pulls the gun on Carl and he's like you know the difference between us? I got balls and my word, something like that, and then he shoots him right in the head. I actually really liked this scene.
Speaker 1:We needed a differentiation between Carl and the other dudes, because you're kind of like why don't these other guys just get pissed off?
Speaker 2:Because they need him alive. And he knows that, and so he's like I'm just going to kill this one dude and then I'm going to surrender.
Speaker 1:And I was like that's cool, so it's on the edge of being a good scene.
Speaker 2:It's a nice idea.
Speaker 1:You need a couple of lines, you need a couple of this a little bit of little juge here, a little juge there. But this movie, just, you feel that it never gets to do the juges that are necessary to make this character into a real guy. That you're like, oh, I'm in it with him. So they put him in this tank, and here we have Gorski in there. Why do they have?
Speaker 2:a tank Like what's going on?
Speaker 1:Oh, so he's protected.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I don't mean like, but like. Why do these people? You know what I mean. No, who are these people, Dan? I don't understand who they are in the world of this movie.
Speaker 1:Oh, he's like a local, not a fixer. But you know, he's not a warlord, he's not a fixer, he's just like a local, powerful dude, right yeah. I guess, the local warlord lets him drive around in a tank for protection.
Speaker 2:And that's weird. That's a weird thing to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's it. I just don't understand any of the world. I don't think I get it.
Speaker 1:Well, it's this sort of sliding future. It's this future where they can't have him in a house, right, because the house is, like, too domesticated. He has to be, on the move. You know, he's got all the tvs in the thing of of showing like it's nice outside, but he has to live in a tank because how does he have all those tvs if he's so mad about 20 over a gun, like where?
Speaker 2:where did he get all the money for these tvs? You know, I just don't get it.
Speaker 1:This isn't Vin Diesel's tank, this is Gorski's tank.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's true, you know you're right about that, you're right about that.
Speaker 1:Gorski's loaded. He's going to pay him a million dollars or some amount of money.
Speaker 2:Explain this to me, dan, okay, okay, yes, so what's his name? Gorsky Gorsky. Okay, so Gorsky is a local Russian bad guy, right? Yes?
Speaker 1:yes, yes, yes, he's like a high-level kind of mafia guy, I would say.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then the monastery is in Russia, yes, but they're going to America, yes, and the church lady is from America.
Speaker 1:Well, it's Charlotte Rampling, so she's from England probably.
Speaker 2:But she does a news conference.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's American, I think she's.
Speaker 2:American About the convent when it blows up. It felt like because here's where I'm going right, like us and Russia don't really talk very much, but it feels like they're the same country in this movie. To me, just like character-wise, they're all too connected to be from Russia and America.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, you're positing this world where everything is corrupted at this point, you know, even though New York City is the big money with all the neon, it's still. It's corrupted in a different way. You know it's like Russia is reduced to. You know, constant war, infighting and no longer has a stable government. New York still has a stable government and is the gold standard right. New York still has a stable government and is the gold standard right Because he's from the US.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:And he wants to get back to the US, but he's been banned as a terrorist, I think. For what you know for past bad deeds.
Speaker 2:For stuff, for stuff that he did. He did things and stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I don't know. You know it's basically supposed to be. You know this arc where you're traveling from the desert to the golden land, you know, and surviving all the things, and then when you get to the final thing, you realize it's just as bad as the desert, right? Sure, yeah, Okay, those are all illusions that you could work in there.
Speaker 2:Illusions If you wanted to work them in there but they don't really work all the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, those are all illusions that you could work in there.
Speaker 2:Illusions, if you wanted to work them in there, but they don't really work. All those in there? Yeah, I don't know. This movie confuses me more than most movies we watch.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to tell you that right now, gorski, they don't like each other. He's like, you got to take a girl. Here's an injection, that's your passport, so you're going to basically put some nanites or whatever in your thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, something.
Speaker 1:And that'll mean you're okay. And he's like I don't want a half a million. He's all like I don't got to give you no money. And he's like but you're going to give me half a million or I'm not going to do it because I'm such an asshole. I'll tell you to go fuck yourself. And then you just kill me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, half a million.
Speaker 2:Okay, half a million.
Speaker 1:He's like you're going to go to this place, we're going to give you a car. They drop him off and you're like this is my problem with the movie.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, talk to me.
Speaker 1:In a good movie. What you do is you would drop him in the middle of nowhere to say, fuck you, I'm in charge.
Speaker 2:Then he'd have to walk all the way, fucking home.
Speaker 1:Power move yeah instead they drop him. And then, 30 seconds later, spotlight. 10 seconds later, a helicopter is dropping a car down. He gets in the car, the helicopter takes off and flies him to where he needs to go with the car. I liked that, but there was no power imbalance.
Speaker 2:You're absolutely right on that. Let me ask you a question, Dan Okay.
Speaker 1:Is this a personal question or is it about the movie?
Speaker 2:No, this is about the movie. It's a little personal. So this guy's got a lot of money, gorski, to the point where there's this car, a helicopter drops a car, and then later, when they get to America, there's like 50 bikers and he's like Gorski's guys are the bikers, yes, the convent people are on the other side of the street, there's like 100 people. Why was he the only guy that could bring him, bring this girl across the country lines? It feels like anyone could have done it with all of the resources that this guy had. It in fact seemed like it was harder because it was vin diesel's character. That's all.
Speaker 1:I don't know well, in a real movie and possibly in the book, he's gonna have some level of skills or contacts that are important. He kind of has a contact that sort of gets them on the sub to on the cross.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kind of, kind of doesn't. Of course, he's got people in america, he's he's crossed borders. This guy, he's got guys in america, he's got guys in America, he's crossed borders. He's got guys in America, he's got guys in Russia.
Speaker 1:I assume he's got. You mean Gorski. Oh sorry, Gorski yeah.
Speaker 2:So why does he need someone's? It feels like he could. Just he's got people everywhere. It feels like this should be really easy.
Speaker 1:I super hated the stuff with the motorcycle guys and the car people at the end. Oh yeah, because it's really stupid. It's really stupid and just doesn't make any sense. What it should have been and that's the whole thing is if you're going to make Vin Diesel like the man, then just make him the man right, make him do all the things and you can fight whoever you need him to fight. That's fine, and he'll do it.
Speaker 1:He loves that, but they don't. You know, it's like the girl with her psychic powers and everything else, sort of what powers.
Speaker 2:What is her power? Where does it come from? I don't.
Speaker 1:You want me to explain the powers.
Speaker 2:Please somebody explain the powers to me Okay.
Speaker 1:They injected her with an AI when she was a baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that much I got and so that means why.
Speaker 1:That's why she can run the submarine if she needs to. It's. If you're just listening to this part, you're like what is fucking happening?
Speaker 2:she can run. She can run the submarine and then um, which, which is which makes sense to me, because those are like that would be like a schematic, that's like learning. The AI could do that right. It could know how to run a machine.
Speaker 1:And then she's pregnant with the twins. It doesn't make any sense. What do you mean? It doesn't make any sense. Keep going.
Speaker 2:It makes sense to you.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I mean she's just been remotely impregnated, whatever. That doesn't mean anything. Well, yeah, I mean she's just been remotely impregnated, whatever. That doesn't mean anything. Well, we do that every day.
Speaker 2:First of all, you said remotely Well, I mean, that's the thing.
Speaker 1:I'm assuming they like shot a little missile off the missile, like whooped up her. She's like I'm pregnant.
Speaker 2:Oh, what was that? That was weird.
Speaker 1:What was I trying to explain to you? I don, what was I trying to explain to you? I don't even remember her powers. Her powers then, like when she like says don't get on that thing because it's gonna blow up, that's because of the twins. The twins told her that and the twins are. Did you ever see dune? You know the? The? When they put the with what's her name, when she's in the prick with the womb and they put the sandworm blood, what the?
Speaker 2:hell are you talking about?
Speaker 1:Basically the, the twins inside her, although they're still just, you know, embryos or whatever. Whatever. However far they're along, they're like already seeing the future.
Speaker 2:Why are they seeing the future, dan?
Speaker 1:Why or how are they seeing the future? A bit of both, I mean. They're seeing the future so you can have that scene where she's like don't go into there, you'll die.
Speaker 2:But it doesn't make sense to me. What do you mean? That the babies are omniscient, Like basically?
Speaker 1:They're not omniscient. They're just seeing the future.
Speaker 2:But why can they see the future? Their AI doesn't give the power to see the future okay dan I didn't understand this movie.
Speaker 1:It's pretty, but what it is is if you're able, if you're so smart and you can run all the possibilities, you're going to be able to tell what's going to happen, right kind of like oh, I was going to spoil something from superman, but never mind, I probably should do that still too you're gonna buy superman so I can watch it I mean, I guess I will.
Speaker 2:I wasn't planning on, but I will you don't gotta buy it.
Speaker 1:I'll wait till it's on.
Speaker 2:I'll buy it, dan. It's fine. I'll have to watch it again at some point there.
Speaker 1:There it is. If you're so smart and you're reading everything that's going on, you're going to be able to make predictions based on that. You know, like maybe the babies hear something, you know like a real high pitch frequency, or they see somebody walk onto the train and then walk off of the train or they work the odds that the babies are listening to. Maybe the babies are listening to cell phone transmissions.
Speaker 2:I'm not buying it. I'm sorry, I'm not buying it. This part doesn't make sense. She sees the future, like one time in the movie and I was like, oh, she's got powers, and then she didn't really have powers.
Speaker 1:She probably should have seen the future a lot more like after they at least after more times got to new york go see a doctor and have him remove the fucking passport thing, you know, even though she knew that at the beginning it's like why don't you just do? That breeze, but but. But she saw the whole plan right, her whole plan. It's like it's the same as when dr strange is there with than and he's like I got to run through all the possibilities. Well, this is the only one that works.
Speaker 2:Right and see, the difference is is that they say that, they show it and they say it, and I know what's happening. This movie is just like, hey, she kind of sees the future, but we're not going to really talk about it. We're not going to talk about something that's huge and monumental.
Speaker 1:We're not going to talk about it. We only got 90 minutes.
Speaker 2:We got to move on. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1:They drop him off outside this convent. Michelle Yeoh comes out and she sets up. You know you can't say fart and you can't let her see the world and you can't do this. And then he's all like uh, fart, go fuck yourself.
Speaker 2:And why is she being protected? Does Michelle know what's going on? I don't know. I don't know either. This is my problem. I feel like I should know that by the time she dies.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to tell you what they should have done this whole movie. It's pretty simple.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, talk to me, fix it Dan.
Speaker 1:Vin Diesel is supposed to think that the girl is a girl bomb, right? Supposed to think that she's Like a virus, which we also have many questions about, but yeah, which you, just you, cook something in her, and then she, you know, it's just, it's alien, right? You know, boom, she blows up at some point and kills kills half of New York city. That's fine, not sure. Not sure how that gets through undetected, but you know you say Right.
Speaker 2:Do you though?
Speaker 1:Finally figured it out. Oh, so what it is is through this whole movie he's supposed to be thinking she's a viral bomb and he's trying to juggle getting his money. Blah, blah, blah, blah blah.
Speaker 2:Right, doing the job or saving the world.
Speaker 1:Michelle Yeoh knows who the girl is. Right, Right. And is protecting her and then is trying to figure out to j, making everybody think that she's a team player, but she's actually wanting to smuggle the girl out, right, so you've got these two competing things. And then you write scenes that play those things out, where people tip their hands at times and they're supposed to be distrust this movie. They're just like, eh, they'll just all trust each other and it'll be great.
Speaker 2:It's not great, though, no great. It's not great, though, no, I'm just, I'm just throwing out. It's not great. I didn't understand it. No, what is the virus, by the way? Because at some point, uh, mark shepherd is like she's got all the signs of the virus and I was like what do you? Which? Which ones where she can like see the future and she could like run a submarine. How is that a virus? What virus that?
Speaker 1:They forgot to write those in. That's my assumption. My assumption is they just forgot to run them in.
Speaker 2:Hey guys, should we put in some backstory about the virus? No, okay, fuck it.
Speaker 1:They should have just had her throw up once or twice. You know, there's things that you could have written in she's sick.
Speaker 2:Yeah sure, I don't know. Yeah sure, this movie man.
Speaker 1:He walks over to her and goes, like you know, pushes up her eye and, like you know, fucking looks, looks up there and is like Bloodshot bloodshot, then he shakes his head.
Speaker 2:She gone, she's a goner.
Speaker 1:You do something weird. Right, there's something weird about what were we watching. I was watching something. What were you watching? I was watching their eyes turned gold when they started doing stuff magic. Oh, I watched thunderbolts. Like what's his name when he turns into century?
Speaker 2:oh, is that good?
Speaker 1:I haven't seen that yet I'll talk about it later oh, we're gonna talk about it later we're supposed to be this movie's supposed to be fast.
Speaker 2:I took very few notes. I did not tell you this one was going to be fast. I told you that I was very confused and I had lots of questions. Okay, we're not even through page one of my questions. I have four pages of questions, stan.
Speaker 1:Okay, so they're going to travel First up Kazakhstan, where they're going to get the train. Okay, great. Did I already say that this is the same plot as the plot of Barb Wire travel. We're gonna first stop kazakhstan, where they're gonna get the train. Okay, great. Did I already say that this is the same plot as the plot of barbed wire?
Speaker 2:you did not, but like mel gibson's barbed wire, no wait, what am I thinking? Of pamela anderson's barbed wire okay, what am I thinking of? I don't know, on a wire that that's the Mel Gibson movie.
Speaker 1:Might also be the same plot as Bird on a Wire, I don't remember it's him and Goldie Hawn.
Speaker 2:It's lovely.
Speaker 1:I haven't seen it in 20 years.
Speaker 2:But Barbed Wire was this Absolutely right.
Speaker 1:And then that other one that just came out a few years ago. It happens in Southeast Asia and there's a little robot, the child. That's like half robot and half child and he has to transport that child somewhere.
Speaker 2:Oh, and they shot it on Sony FX6 cameras. Yeah, yeah, the creator.
Speaker 1:Same plot.
Speaker 2:I never ended up seeing it. I did want to see it, but it didn't come to streaming. As far as I saw, I wasn't going to pay for it. I saw it to see it, but it didn't come to streaming as far as I saw it.
Speaker 1:I wasn't going to pay for it. I saw it somewhere. It must be on something.
Speaker 2:Oh shit, I must have missed it. I'll take a look again. I did want to see it.
Speaker 1:Good looking.
Speaker 2:A couple of very good looking things in that movie.
Speaker 1:Everybody you know the dudes loved it, but it's the same thing. You know robots, not a robot. He's the next generation.
Speaker 2:But were people seeing the future? Did they go from a submarine to a snowmobile? For no reason Did things like that happen, because then I'm not going to see it.
Speaker 1:Okay, We'll talk about that in a second.
Speaker 2:I can't wait, man. This is my favorite part of the movie.
Speaker 1:Kazakhstan. They're going to the train. Girl sees tigers. She's never seen tigers. Are those real tigers? Well, they're not real tigers. Oh, they do this later. You know they're not real tigers, they're second generation clones. But is a clone a real thing? A real thing, a real? Thing Is a real thing a real thing, and then a real thing is a real, thing is a real thing is a real thing.
Speaker 2:That didn't play into who she was, I thought for sure.
Speaker 1:For sure she's a clone-ish. I mean she's, you know she's generated Ish, but not really, because she's not a clone.
Speaker 2:She's just like an artificially created embryo, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, the problem is this guy. Probably everybody has seen Blade Runner and so they're all like we're going to be like Blade Runner and it's like you can't be like Blade Runner. You know, think about Blade Runner. What happens at Blade Runner? He just goes and hunts down the people and then that's it.
Speaker 2:And that's it. Yeah, but he's cool. Nothing happens. Harrison Ford's cool.
Speaker 1:Harrison Ford's cool World looks cool yeah it looks great.
Speaker 2:I never saw the new one, by the way. Was that good?
Speaker 1:Same. Thing.
Speaker 2:Okay, well then, I'm glad I didn't see it.
Speaker 1:No, it's you know, ryan Gosling is fine, it's Denis Villeneuve.
Speaker 2:Denis.
Speaker 1:Villeneuve, you know. So it's good looking. I will watch Denis Villeneuve's movies because the sound is so great. The sound in this movie is pretty good at times too. Was it good in this one? Maybe no, it was fine. I think it was okay. More and more sound, more um sound editing.
Speaker 2:music editing does not matter, I think, no, I think it's the most important thing in a movie no, no, I'm saying I feel like movies take less and less care about it now because that's just money in post-production and that's like the last part of the run and they're at that time they're like well we're out of money, guys, so let's just do what we can and put it out.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's the one thing I wanted to say. There's like an interview with the guy that directed War of the Worlds and he talks about things Somebody directed that movie I'm just kidding and they talked to the editors and the editor guy is just like it was very hard and the editor guy is just like it was very hard and the whole movie just like you think was. You know, it's just like what was the airplane movie that we watched that one time where you were mark walberg one you were like there's no way any of these people were talking to each other yeah, they're not.
Speaker 2:They're not, they're the everyone, everyone's talking just to the camera yeah, it was the same thing with War of the Worlds. I can only imagine.
Speaker 1:We just had all this stuff and we had to make it into a movie somehow.
Speaker 2:But I mean because that's the thing right, like as the editor, you just get like a bunch of these shots and you're like, well, no one's even in this scene together. How do I cut this together?
Speaker 1:What does this mean?
Speaker 2:That's incredible.
Speaker 1:It's like it's this new form of editing, that that you know people, you know if you've been doing something your whole life. You're just like. This is not what I do.
Speaker 2:This is not it. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I'm looking at. I'm looking at a hundred different shots that don't go together. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1:I have to craft a movie out of this. It's like oh man, ok.
Speaker 2:Beautiful stuff.
Speaker 1:Boom, the girl freaks out, she starts running away and then boom, a bomb explodes. So she knew that the bomb was going to explode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's like don't go that way, don't go that way. My babies are telling me that apparently that's what Dan says. I don't believe it, yeah.
Speaker 1:So the babies, or something premonition? Maybe she can smell the nitrile.
Speaker 2:Is that?
Speaker 1:what it is, nitrile.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I don't know what bombs are made of, if anyone's listening.
Speaker 1:We need to start doing that. Are there any cell phones in this world?
Speaker 2:No, I don't think so, but you can track people with their passports, so it's fine. You don't need a cell phone when you know where they are.
Speaker 1:You can pick anybody up on CCTV instantaneously, but nobody has a cell phone.
Speaker 2:I don't need to talk to you, I just need to look at you. It's fine.
Speaker 1:There goes the Russian refugee camp, they go through a checkpoint, they de-gun him and where do they go into?
Speaker 2:Tony, is this the fight club?
Speaker 1:The club, because if you're in the future, everyone always have to go to the club it's like.
Speaker 2:That's like the only thing, that's the only form of entertainment that's left it's the.
Speaker 1:It's a dance club and a bar and a fight club and a fight.
Speaker 2:I got confused when he gets in the ring. I don't you're gonna have to tell me the transition into that, because all of a sudden I was like wait, he's in a wrestling ring oh, I'll explain exactly what happened and why they did it wrong oh great, yeah. So before we do that outside the club, is this where the guys are like are in the club, the guys are like, hey, she needs to come with us, is that this?
Speaker 1:part's gonna happen eventually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, bring that up, all right. Yeah, we'll get to that, because I got questions dan um, he's there to meet.
Speaker 1:Who's going to get them on the boat and then provide them with snow bikes on the other side? Okay, so we'll just say why they're trying to get to America.
Speaker 2:Okay, where does the sub go?
Speaker 1:It goes across.
Speaker 2:From where to where? And then where are all of the other people from the submarine? Did they all get snow bikes or are they walking somewhere? Where do they get dropped off, dan? This is what I'm trying to understand, because this guy's like I got snowmobiles waiting for us and I'm like, okay, I guess that's cool, but I don't know where you're starting. Like where is point b on that map? Because a the submarine to b and then b is where you're starting. Like where's point B on that map? Because A the submarine to B and then B is where we get snowmobiles. Where's everybody else going? There's a bunch of other people in the submarine. I'm confused. Why do we need these? And then the planes All right, we got to get there.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry we're so not there. We've got a ways to get there.
Speaker 2:I get so confused. All right, we're in the club. Up in the club.
Speaker 1:We're in the club. He meets Finn. Finn's like. You're like wow, I wonder how long it's going to take until Finn betrays him Longer than I thought.
Speaker 2:If that helps If that does anything for you you're correct, it takes too long to betray him.
Speaker 1:That is absolutely true. Uh, the girl is obsessing over this one fighter. Then the parkour dudes show up and they all show him a bag and they're all like we're here for the girl, here's a million tax-free, tax-free all right, this is my second favorite part of the movie, dan are you ready?
Speaker 2:for this bag of money no, but those guys they're like. We'll give you a million dollars. All you gotta do is forget your job. Vin diesel gets so offended when they say forget your job. He looks at me, goes what? As if that's the most egregious thing that they've said this entire time. He's so mad that someone thinks that he's gonna abandon his job because he's a man of his principles yes, and I was like this is the most acting.
Speaker 2:He does the whole movie. Yeah, this is the most upset. He gets the entire movie as someone's like maybe just don't do your job. And I was like this is how he is on set.
Speaker 1:This encapsulates vin diesel on set. People like this is a shitty movie, vin. We should do this movie. It's like we gotta finish the movie we started. We gotta finish it.
Speaker 2:I'm vin diesel and I was like this is a shitty movie, Vin, we should do this movie. It's like we gotta finish the movie. We started it, we gotta finish it. I'm Vin Diesel and I was like this is the most real look at Vin Diesel we have in this whole entire movie there it is.
Speaker 1:He doesn't take the money. The girl ends up in the cage with the fighter. Why? Well, because she's Okay.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm a four-year-old in the backseat of a car. Why, why, why, mom.
Speaker 1:Why? Because we're trying to set up that she's something, she's this magical presence, right, and so she has. Essentially, the fighter has, like he wants to protect her, right?
Speaker 2:I guess, I don't know why?
Speaker 1:What should have happened? Why? Let me explain what should have happened in the scene. She's in the cage. He's like, oh shit, I gotta go in the cage with that guy. He should Realize he stands no chance against that guy. Right, that guy's super fighter, he's the guy. So he goes in there and he's all like, okay, I'm gonna take you. What happens is that guy just fucking Lays waste to Vin Diesel and and he's all like, okay, I'm going to take you. What happens is that guy just fucking lays waste to Vin Diesel and then he's just like, boom, boom, boom, throws Vin Diesel out of the way, picks up the girl and then goes out and then beats the shit out of all the parkour guys, just fucks them up Great.
Speaker 1:And takes her out of there. He hobbles along behind and then he realizes that she has the ability to make anyone into her protector. But she hasn't made him into a protector because he's he's got. Why didn't she just do that to me? Maybe she respects me in some way, maybe, you know, he has like some sort of moral conflict, but she has the power to control people how?
Speaker 2:why she doesn't? She's got the babies?
Speaker 1:nope, and she, you know he, he, because she connected with him. He like, sees in her, like this, this, this precious. They locked eyes for 20 seconds and then he's under her spell.
Speaker 2:I don't. I don't understand that, because for me it's like she's put a some sort of spell on him. That's what it is, or he's in love with her. One of the two, I believe either one, yeah yeah, yeah, but she doesn't have magical powers, she just has a computer brain and and babies that I don't. I still don't totally understand how they're there so the the parkour guys steal the girl.
Speaker 1:don't know how they're stealing the girl and parkouring at the same time Parkour is tricky.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you've ever tried to do it. It's hard man.
Speaker 1:Especially when you're carrying or moving someone else. If you're trying to kidnap parkour guys who are trying to kidnap me, I'd be like I cannot make that jump.
Speaker 2:No, it's hard. We used to parkour with backpacks on and that was tough Because you get off balance so easily. So if you're carrying a human being, it's hard.
Speaker 1:Vin Diesel steals a gun, the parkour guy stops, he shoots one of them and then they move all in front of her and then she's like just go.
Speaker 2:No, no. What they say is something like any of us would die for you. And I was like what why? Why would they die for you? And I was like what why? Why would they die for her.
Speaker 1:What's happening? Because she's the Virgin Mary, she's magical.
Speaker 2:She's not magical.
Speaker 1:She is.
Speaker 2:She mesmerized the guy in the cage. She's a robot, she's part robot. She has robot pieces in her AI brain.
Speaker 1:Okay, here we are. We're marching across the bank street with a bunch of other people. The ice, he said Finn's like. The ice is getting thinner. Global warming is bad for business. He's not wrong there.
Speaker 2:Is he not wrong, though? Because, like, shouldn't that just make it easier for a submarine? You know what I mean, if you don't have to break through the ice every time. Somehow there's like a hundred people going, I feel like it's more than that 162 um that's a good round number.
Speaker 1:Here we go, here we go. We're like, how's there gonna be a ship? Oh, it's a submarine. The submarine breaches through the ice. Get this one really nice shot overhead where we see the whole sub. I'm like, yes, I, yes, I like that the sub comes up. They throw the net down. Vin Diesel's not really trying very hard to get on the ship.
Speaker 2:Everybody else is and he's like ah, I'm sure everyone will get on board. I don't know what's going on in his brain.
Speaker 1:Then they sort of start shooting people and it ends up that only like four people get on the ship.
Speaker 2:No, it's more than four and I don't know where they go after the ship.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to complain about this one because I can explain how you could have made it good, but whatever, okay, michelle Yeoh's character's in there Sister Rebecca, she has so little to do, but there she is. She gives the backstory. Three months ago, this doctor came and gave her a pill. She always knows things. She knew 19 languages before she was born right is the pill, the babies yeah, I think the pill was that three months ago.
Speaker 2:Pills the babies, but the baby's in it I just didn't know that babies come in pill form, but it's good to know that that's a, that's a thing and then finn goes.
Speaker 1:well, two years ago there was a viral bomb and everybody died, so she's probably another viral bomb.
Speaker 2:You're like what? What do you mean?
Speaker 1:What does that mean? What do you care?
Speaker 2:Well, because he's a good man.
Speaker 1:No, he's not. Finn is not a good man.
Speaker 2:No, he's not, but he says he is. He's not a good man. No, I know that.
Speaker 1:He's a piece of trash. They get to the other side and boom, there's ice bikes waiting and they have to drive the ice bikes 10 miles, but after 9 miles then the drones attack. Why, why?
Speaker 2:all of these things, dan, I don't understand.
Speaker 1:The question you're supposed to be asking is who put the ice?
Speaker 2:bikes there. These are the things that I am asking Mark Shepard's like I'll have snowmobiles on the other side, yeah, okay, so they just drop them off in the middle of wherever they land, yeah, and then they just take them, and then some sort of drone things are like well, we better shoot these motorbikes. And then they fire a couple of missiles and then they leave.
Speaker 1:How did that? Well, no, they destroyed the drones. They destroyed the drones. Yeah, he jumps at the last moment, he does something to the one drone, and then he jumps his snowmobile and it hits the last drone.
Speaker 2:Oh no, you're right, I do remember that. Now, yeah, real dumb.
Speaker 1:The other question you should ask is how do they know there's drones? Because the drones shot a bunch of animals. Why are the drones shooting animals?
Speaker 2:Anything that moves baby. But what happens to the other people Dan what people? So okay?
Speaker 1:Oh, they get dropped off someplace else.
Speaker 2:There's two stops on the submarine. Yeah, dropped off someplace else. There's two stops on the submarine. Yeah, they were going to California, california, that's the other side of the continent. How is the sub going to get there? How does that work?
Speaker 1:The sub drops them off on Alaska. They're going to go across all. Oh, they took an airplane, they got an airplane.
Speaker 2:They eventually get on an airplane, but also how? Right, because that doesn't make any sense. Okay, so here's why I'm confused, overarching confusion. Right, it feels like sometimes they're illegally coming into the country and then sometimes it feels like they're not illegally coming into the country. You see what I'm saying. Why, okay, he's got a passport, right, he's got a passport. Why, she's got a passport? Why can't he just go to america? He does no, no, no. He sneaks onto a submarine, murders other people to get on there, then takes motorbikes that are getting shot at by drones no, to get to an airplane which he just then walks into an airport and is like, yep, I'll just get on this plane. Now that I'm.
Speaker 1:I don't understand there's no, he's got to get someplace that has direct flights.
Speaker 2:There's a direct flight from Russia.
Speaker 1:For sure Not under the current political conditions.
Speaker 2:The current political conditions, they seem like they're best friends. Russia's guys are in America all the time. I just don't understand any of this. Oh, you're so confused I am. I just don't understand any of this. Oh, you're so confused I am.
Speaker 1:This is a level 10 confusion. He's bleeding to death after he defeats the drones. The girl is performing some sort of psychic surgery or something. She's performing surgery by just sort of sticking her hands inside where the wound is.
Speaker 2:It seems like she's dipping it in salt and then just rubbing the wound. That's what it seems like. Because he's like ow, she calls him a crybaby. I don't think so.
Speaker 1:Finn's basically like he's dead weight, so I'm just going to kill him. And then Turoop's like I'll kill you first. But he doesn't say that because that would be kind of funny. Instead he just shoots him dead.
Speaker 2:And they aren't like're like, oh, he's dead. So here's, here's a confusing part, right? Is that? Uh, what's mark shepherd's name? What's his name, finn, finn finn wolfhard, is he's like we should have never come back, yeah he knows the rules.
Speaker 2:He does know which is a weird line, because vin diesel didn't call you back. He wasn't like, hey, come back for me. He probably would have been fine with it, like he wouldn't have been mad, right, because he knows the rules. But then, mark, after he thinks about, like he knows the rules, he's like, or I'll just kill him now and steal his girl. He knows the rules. He knows the rules, baby. You know the rules 's. Just he knows the rules, baby. You know the rules.
Speaker 1:Fair game the girl's like okay, so he kills Finn. They go to the tent.
Speaker 1:She finishes biting his wounds with her mind powers and then this is the point at which we become a family, we are family. So, literally, I wrote down oh yeah, this is a point where the tent eating. And I wrote now, they're a little family. And then, immediately after I wrote that down, they said we protected each other like family, like family, yeah, yeah. And so, by necessity, you have to have a betrayal after this scene at some point in the movie, oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:Just plot wise, yeah, otherwise it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:We don't have that uh, she tells him we're gonna die in new york. Later on he throws out all his bullets because there's no more guns once they get to the airport airport he's. I'm so tired of war. I just want to go where I grew up, upstate New York. There's a little farm. I'm going to do some farming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that's what he says. That's what he says. I don't understand it, you know.
Speaker 2:They stay in Motel and Kennedy he takes a shower, she's in his bathroom, she touches his fur and then, luckily, michelle shows up his fur, his man fur oh, I did not understand what you were saying right there, but yeah, no, you're right, they have a nice sexual moment in the bathroom. Now is she not underage, dan? It seemed really dirty to me Right, and they refer to her as girl a lot. They're like the girl, the girl, the girl it. Just it didn't feel like she's of an appropriate age for him to be lusting after her in the bathroom.
Speaker 1:If the cops busted in on us in that bathroom?
Speaker 2:we would be in jail. Are we there together?
Speaker 1:I would be in jail and you would be pressing charges.
Speaker 2:I was just showering, he came on to me? I don't know my stars and curders. Yeah, I don't know. Also, real quick before, when he's in the shower, he's still bleeding. Did you notice that? I don't know? His shoulder is just running blood and I was like, well, she didn't do anything to heal his wounds. Like he's just free-flowing blood.
Speaker 1:Right now she just sits him up At the airport. Airport he tests the passport they just passes through. We do like one thing for one second where they're like hey, you stop.
Speaker 2:There's like a beep, yeah, and then that's it, and then nothing so intense.
Speaker 1:You're just like yeah, if you're gonna make a thriller like this, you gotta make the airport 10 times worse than this yeah yeah, they get on the coca-cola airplane.
Speaker 2:They get I love that coke zero, for don't forget that was coca-cola zero oh, was it.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't see yeah, yeah, yeah. The future of coke uh, they get to new york city.
Speaker 2:It looks like vegas or china yeah, blade, maybe just make it vegas, you know, I don't know they go to this apartment and you're kind of like this is weird.
Speaker 1:There's a big tv screen and she's like looking at the tv and she's actually a bunch of little tv screens all put together in one.
Speaker 2:Like what do you call that a collage? That's not right. It's not a clock, but it was like 20 tv little ones all playing different channels. And she goes, can I turn it off? And you know what vin diesel says no, yes, I know what he says yeah.
Speaker 2:He says no, you can't turn it off. You can change the channel, you can't turn off the tv. Yeah, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Why, what do you mean? You can't turn off the tv? If this is a hotel room or a condo, whatever it is, is yeah, you got to be able to turn off the TV. No, in a world where he's mad about $20 for a gun, we're just forcing people to waste energy.
Speaker 1:I don't think so no, we're forcing them to watch TV. What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:He will kill the prime minister of Malaysia.
Speaker 1:Haven't you ever seen? I think it's Fahrenheit 451. Yeah, this is the numerous, numerous book in high school. Numerous things like this yeah, you're not in control of the TV. The state is in control of the TV.
Speaker 2:That is wild. Yeah, that's what it's also like. I'd have my TVs on any house. They don't need to do that.
Speaker 1:I'm good They've got to see you're properly programmed.
Speaker 2:You better believe I am.
Speaker 1:Aurora is angry. Oh, tomorrow is the dawn of a new. Okay. So the bad person, the bad lady, oh, we find out that the convent was destroyed. Somebody missiled the convoy, yeah. And the church lady goes on there and is like, yeah, she's like I shouldn't have done that. To that.
Speaker 2:I'm going to ask you one more time yeah, why, why did they blow up the convent and a great water break? Welcome back from the commercial break, everybody.
Speaker 1:Maybe to add to the tension.
Speaker 2:No, it didn't feel tense, you know. So that's.
Speaker 1:Because you can't go home.
Speaker 2:That's it. You can't go home again.
Speaker 1:Okay, here comes the dark. Okay, the motorcycles and the SUVs show up. The no lights are in charge of the SUVs, gorski's in charge of the motorcycle. I don't understand it. I think maybe Vin Diesel said this is a suicide mission.
Speaker 2:That's exactly. He said this has always been a suicide mission. I was like I don't even know why it's a suicide mission now.
Speaker 1:I don't understand it. Why'd you ask?
Speaker 2:for money, then Why'd you ask for money? Also, like why are they killing you? I don't even understand it. Just give them the girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't understand.
Speaker 2:It's not like he knows too much, because I and I know that, because I don't know anything, I'm so confused.
Speaker 1:Here comes the doctor. Does the doctor have more gray hair later in the movie than he does in this scene?
Speaker 2:I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.
Speaker 1:His life is pretty stressful, though, dan, so it's hard he goes in scans, aurora, and then they're like what's wrong with her?
Speaker 2:He's like nothing. See you later. And then my favorite part of the movie.
Speaker 1:Then the doctor leaves and he's like I'll be back later to do more tests. I'm like what?
Speaker 2:And he's not. He doesn't come back later, because then we get, we just go Downstairs and there's a big gunfight.
Speaker 1:We go downstairs and there's a big Hold on Dan.
Speaker 2:I wasn't meaning touch of the next scene, because this is the part where she walks out of the bathroom, slash bedroom, wherever she was getting her test done yeah, and they're both looking at him and she goes. I'm pregnant, between twins, and I was so shocked at this twist. I was like what are we talking about? What is what is happening? I don't understand, and I it just I don't understand it, because that's not what this movie was about up until now, as far as I know it's a VB squared virgin birth times two.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean. Listen, there's only one thing better than a virgin birth, and that's two virgin births. I don't know, this movie is just too much for me.
Speaker 1:This is definitely when you're like what's happening in this movie? What is what's happening?
Speaker 2:what do you mean? She's why. How is that related to her uh, knowing the future, to her being really upset when you hurt people. She saw she cries all the time about that and none of this makes any sense.
Speaker 1:So they go downstairs and then he's going to deliver the girl and then he grabs a gun and they're shooting and he's like go to the subway and then they launch a missile that can key in on his thing and he runs through a van and it blows up Hold on.
Speaker 2:Hold on. Yeah, a couple of things we got to talk about this missile.
Speaker 2:It goes in big circles, it does it's like honing in on his position, like very slowly going through a grid, but he grabs his neck after it gets fired and he knows that the missile's being fired and tracked by his passport. He touches his neck and he's like a missile being tracked on my passport. What Is it pulling it? Well, it probably like does it pull out of his neck? He's like oh, it's a missile, I can feel it moving around yeah, I don't understand.
Speaker 1:I think I don't understand.
Speaker 2:It's a magnet, it's, maybe it gets a little warm.
Speaker 1:You know he's like oh, that's a little hot, oh, that's too.
Speaker 2:That's missile warm. That's not normal warm. It's just so dumb. But then she's like how do you get out of it? And he's like only death. Or if I hide behind an object, it will run into it like a moron and blow up. Those are my only two options, though Death or hiding behind an object. That's very obvious. One of the two.
Speaker 1:Wait, does Michelle Yeoh die in this?
Speaker 2:scene. Yeah, she sure does. She gets shot, and then the girl doesn't care at all.
Speaker 1:She doesn't really seem to care, does she?
Speaker 2:Nah, she's just walking the other direction. She doesn't give a fuck, doesn't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:Then he escapes the one missile. He kills everyone and then somebody else shoots off another missile. So the girl's like I got to kill you to save you. So she shoots him right full in the chest.
Speaker 2:Now, how long does it take to die, do you think?
Speaker 1:Oh, there's multiple metrics, oh, okay. Yeah like the body dies a certain way and then the organs shut down in different ways, and then the brain and the brain shuts down over. I think it might take like an hour total for everything to shut down completely.
Speaker 2:So if a missile was tracking you, it?
Speaker 1:all depends on what it's looking at.
Speaker 2:I mean, I guess that's true I mean, you'd probably hook it up. It's looking at you. It all depends. I guess that's true.
Speaker 1:I mean it probably you'd probably hook it up to heart rate, you know sure I, but you know you probably wouldn't, so let's hook it up.
Speaker 2:The brain function but that's the biggest, uh, that's the last thing that dies. You just told me that. So that's the best indicator of life and death. But let's say, okay, let's give them the benefit of doubt and pretend that it's instantaneous for some reason. Would it change course? Because that's what this missile does. It's like oh it's dead, I'll change course. Why would it change course?
Speaker 1:It would just go where its last coordinates were it did, because it went towards her and then it blew up in front of her. You know, there are some Eastern yogis that can actually Please finish this thought. I have to hear this they can suck fluid up through their penises. I just thought this was the time to share that knowledge that is the right time, because my mind has just blown so is that a real fact or is that a damn good self fact?
Speaker 1:you gotta tell me the truth I was taught it at some point in my life I'm gonna google that, right.
Speaker 2:I this might get in trouble for Googling this. Can you suck fluid up your penis? Not you Concerned yogis yes, fluid can be drawn up into the bladder through the penis.
Speaker 1:See what did I tell you? You don't believe me. What the hell? I just dispensed truth on this. That's all I do. I'm here to dispense truth.
Speaker 2:I feel like my whole life is a lie right now. I thought that was a one-way street buddy Should be working on that skill For the next 20 years of my life. I am dedicating it to bringing it back in. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:That's what a good movie should make you think about Okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, frickin' A Boom Boom. Yeah, the missile blows up in her face and she's fine, yep.
Speaker 1:The head of the-.
Speaker 2:Does she have telekinesis, where she's created a jean gray bubble around her? Is that why the bomb doesn't affect her? I think so. Cool, cool, cool cool Because of the babies. Is that it the babies? Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1:I mean, I don't hear you shitting yourself when you watch an X-Men movie. Oh, boy, boy boy, he shoots things out of his eyeballs Because they tell me what all their powers are, In fact, a lot of times their names are their powers, so like I get it. I don't understand her powers or where they come from or where they go. So if at the beginning of the movie they'd be like this is Linda tell?
Speaker 2:the future Exactly, tell the future. Telekinesis. We'd call her Foreshadow. That would be her super power name. That would be her name Pretty good, that'd be cool, right? That's pretty good.
Speaker 1:It's actually good.
Speaker 2:I love how disappointed you are when I come up with something good.
Speaker 1:Okay, so the church ladies all met at all the other church people, which is all dudes, I think it was all dudes, wasn't it all dudes, except for her?
Speaker 2:As far as I could tell, it was, yeah, a lot of dudes and then her. It's hard to be a woman.
Speaker 1:So then Durov wakes up in surgery. He's got a robot leg. He's got robot extensions to his fingers. A robot leg, he's got robot extensions to his fingers.
Speaker 1:That we do like this shot of multiple times to like, for no reason, very proud of that, that little prosthetic glove that they put on his hand that makes it look like he has a robot hand. Yeah, did you see the? Did you see like the nike sort of treads on the bottom of his, his robot foot? They're like these sort of like treads. I was like wow, that's I mean, I I would.
Speaker 1:That makes sense, sure, but usually I think it's grippy. Usually what you do is, when you have a robot leg like that, you put shoes on it well, sure, because I mean the robot leg is just like stronger and faster and stuff. I mean in real life. You know if you're're missing a leg, there's a thing you put. You know you don't have rubber on the bottom of it. You put a shoe on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it probably would never get stinky.
Speaker 2:Unless you're stepped in water. You know that probably doesn't help.
Speaker 1:So they take him, take Tupac, whatever his name is Tupac, tupac. They take him in there. Boom, there's the doctor I think his beard's much grayer now um, and he explains everything where he injected her with an ai and right in a fetus she was a supercomputer. And then gorse. He says gorski hid the baby until the point at which he was going to retrieve the baby, which I don't understand. Why didn't Gorski just tell the church? Because the church has more money than the doctor, like a long time ago.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It's weird. Yeah, no, none of it. A single word of this makes a lick of sense. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah so.
Speaker 2:Are we going to talk about his prosthetics yet? He's got like a neck brace. He's his prosthetics, yet he's got like a neck brace and he's got a weird neck brace. He's wearing a tweed jacket and then there are contraptions on the outside of the jacket. Explain that to me, dan. Why are? Why are there tubes on the outside of it? Does he never change? Is this his only jacket he's allowed to wear? Because he said he's been like this for five years?
Speaker 1:Wait, he's been like that for five years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what this guy said. He said he got, he got blowed up five years ago and so he like, roboted himself to survive.
Speaker 1:But didn't we just see him in the last couple of scenes? I?
Speaker 2:see why you're confused. These are two different people. He's not the doctor that goes to the hotel room and gives her the pill.
Speaker 1:Oh, he's not, this is her father.
Speaker 2:No, no, this is Aurora's daddy. This is her father.
Speaker 1:I thought the big reveal was it was the doctor that vented her in the hotel. I was like, oh, that's her dad, no, no, no, two different doctors.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay. No, no, daddy, and he's got tubes on the outside of a jacket which he can't dry clean because that's not possible.
Speaker 1:He got blowed up with the jacket. He was wearing the jacket when he got blowed up, so they had to do it fast.
Speaker 2:Just put the tube through that jacket.
Speaker 1:Because remember, when she was doing surgery on Vin Diesel didn't take his thing off.
Speaker 2:He just stuck his hands through it. That's the way this family rolls. The future's weird man? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Don't get sick. Oh, then we. Okay, so what we have to do is we have to do a guided memory of his just before he died, to see if she gave him secret information. We do that by making a dolly go, round and round and round everyone until you want to throw up.
Speaker 2:I had to close my eyes. I am very sensitive to going in circles and I had to close my eyes. I am very sensitive to going in circles and I had to close my eyes, but I was laughing at the same time really hard. Did this remind you of Spaceballs at all?
Speaker 1:No, Spaceballs the movie.
Speaker 2:Yes, Spaceballs the movie, Because they're replaying the movie that we just watched in Vin Diesel's eye and I was just waiting for someone to be like you've gone back too far. Go forward, Did that happen?
Speaker 1:When does?
Speaker 2:this happen in the movie we're looking at now. Now this is happening now and they're like looking, they're fast forwarding through the movie. You don't remember space balls? I saw it, so they, they're looking for the princess.
Speaker 1:I saw it one time.
Speaker 2:I think so their idea is we'll watch Spaceballs the movie to find out where she goes. So they grab the movie off the shelf. It's a VHS. They're fast forwarding, they're rewinding and then they stop at the present time and they're looking back and forth. This is what it reminded me of, because you can't do something, this stupid.
Speaker 1:Okay, the evil lady. Then nuke skorsky, which was kind of funny.
Speaker 2:Well, it's funny because he says it, she's hold on. So these lines are priceless, dan, you can't just skip through these. Uh, uh, uh, oh boy I'm. We're so lost on my things. Here we go. He says are you threatening me? And she smiles and says oh, bless your soul, which is the dumbest line I've ever heard in my life. And then he goes you'll need a nuke to kill me.
Speaker 2:And then he hears the nuke coming and he goes ah bitch whoa, it's pretty funny he hears a nuke coming and has enough time to call her a bitch before he explodes, I mean that's great filmmaking. It's pretty good.
Speaker 1:It's pretty good. When they did the memory thing, the girl before she faked her death. She said go home.
Speaker 2:So he's like oh yes, right, yeah, I know where she is.
Speaker 1:So he drives to upstate New York where he's got a cabin. There she is. She's like I'm dying. He's like we don't have any explanation as to why how or when she's dying.
Speaker 2:What's going on? Yeah, what do you mean? You're dying, you seem fine.
Speaker 1:They go back out on the road. Here they got two cars. Here come the bad guys. They've got two cars, but they end up having more cars Then. Then they drive on railroad tracks and then eventually he. They give up, they give up, he shoots them, he shoots them, and then we go to.
Speaker 2:At one point he punches a bomb.
Speaker 1:He's got like a little grenade type of device.
Speaker 2:He punches a window and it just lets it go, which is a pretty badass move. You don't throw it, you punch the window and drop it in. Personally, I love it.
Speaker 1:He really had no trouble doing this and it was very easy for him. It's great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's great stuff.
Speaker 1:You know what they should have done? They should have gone back to the church and then they were like we floated the virgin birthday and it didn't test well, so we're canceling that program.
Speaker 2:So we're canceling that program so we're all good, we're just let her live there's like a hospital right. So now, dan, she's giving birth in a hospital. Now tell me how easy it would be for these bad guys to find her if she's registered at a hospital. The answer's pretty easy, so why did they stop chasing her?
Speaker 1:She's like you're the father now, and then she dies.
Speaker 2:So then we listen. If somebody I brought to a hospital to have a baby was like you're the father, now I'm out the door. Vin Diesel's not the fathering type. I'm sorry, this movie does not convince me he's gonna be a good father. And she's like, well, you're the father. And he's just like you're right, I'm the father, I'll take care of them. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:he's accepting responsibility finally in his life for what?
Speaker 2:he didn't put him in her, nobody. Somebody gave her a pill. Boom babies, that's not vin.
Speaker 1:Somebody's got to take care of those pill babies.
Speaker 2:Why Are they special? I don't know. They're probably controlling his mind, okay. So now they're controlling his mind as well. Okay, we kind of had a few years. Why did she die, dan? I think she was injured From the bomb, maybe, yeah, but she looked fine. They should have had.
Speaker 1:She should have like pulled aside. You know her, no, not her belly.
Speaker 2:She should have pulled aside something Right because there's babies in the belly. It would be bad if her belly was blown up. See, your question is Wait a second.
Speaker 1:They saved Vin Diesel, and he was literally shot with a giant gun at point-blank range, right?
Speaker 2:in the chest and she just dies in a hospital.
Speaker 1:How did he lose his leg from being shot in the chest?
Speaker 2:Maybe because when things are connected, he threw a blood clot.
Speaker 1:We cut ahead three years. Boom. Here are the two little girls One Caucasian, one African-American. Okay, why? And then he says he comes out and he's like hey kids, storms are coming, we need to go Cue music Roll credits.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? What happened? Who are the kids? Why do I care? Why are the kids? Why do I care? Why are the people not chasing Vin Diesel anymore? He's clearly got a house that I assume is registered to him in some way shape or form.
Speaker 1:Oh, come on, Tony, come on, come on, come on what you don't think he can use shadow realtors.
Speaker 2:I do not, and I because it's registered to his parents. He said it's my parents farm and I'm gonna go back and take it over. Everyone knows where that farm is. That's not the farm. Yeah, that's the farm. He fixed it up no, we didn't fix up the farm. Yeah, he fixed up the farm. It's the same farm. This is a new place. This is not a new place you gotta live there.
Speaker 1:He killed him Bang. I shoot you in the brain this is his farm.
Speaker 2:He fixed up his parents' farm just like he said he was going to do in the movie, and now he's got kids there.
Speaker 1:Remember that scene in Zoolander 2 where they show the masks. That what's his name is the funniest scene ever, and then he just walks out and everyone just accepts that.
Speaker 2:that's Ben Siller's face. Yeah, I remember that. That's crazy talk. That's this movie. Okay, I just don't understand this movie, man. There are parts that I enjoyed. I just don't understand most of it.
Speaker 1:And I answered all your questions.
Speaker 2:You thought that this was answering my questions. I have the same questions leaving that I came in with.
Speaker 1:What's that?
Speaker 2:Except for I feel like you did answer one pretty good, because I was totally off base on it. I don't remember which one it was.
Speaker 1:There it is I answered one question, but I was dead wrong on one of them. So kudos to you, $20. You were shitting all over that $20.
Speaker 2:How does he have a tank? If?
Speaker 1:he needs $20?.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was the TVs. You're right, it was the TVs. And I was like, why does he have so many TVs? But he didn't have TVs. Yeah, okay, all the other questions totally valid. Oh, I got a little bug. There's a little bug Adorable.
Speaker 1:Okay, Tony, what'd you like this week?
Speaker 2:I wanted to do a couple things. We finally saw the final Mission Impossible, which was emotional.
Speaker 1:Did you have to turn off your eyes when the AI was spinning around?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, big time, big time. When I get sick, I look at my wife and I'm like just tell me when it's over. I have to do that, otherwise I will get nauseous, nauseated, I get nauseated anyhow I think you say it either way you get nauseous or you get nauseated it was tough. It was there's a couple things, but you know it's a good movie.
Speaker 1:I cried a little um what's her name, and then what's her name. Come back the girl I'm in love with. Who are you in love with?
Speaker 2:Oh, the blonde girl.
Speaker 1:The girl in the last movie. She was at the beginning and then they sort of said she died Rebecca Ferguson.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she does not. She does not come back. No, she gone, she gone, whatever, she's dead Dan.
Speaker 1:No, she lives on in my dreams. No, she's dead. No, she lives on in my tree.
Speaker 2:She gone man. And then we watched the beginning of Adam Sandler's new stand-up set from 2025, I Love you and it's dark man. It's funny. But, like I was the whole time we were watching I was like I think maybe he's unhappy. I think maybe he's he's not doing well unhappy. I think maybe he's unhappy right now, but I don't know where's this at is this on? Netflix.
Speaker 1:I didn't see it yeah, it's on netflix, really, yeah okay, yeah yeah, I have to watch that yeah, give it a shot.
Speaker 2:I mean it's funny, we laugh the whole time. But like some of the jokes are a little dark a little darker than what I'm normally used to with mr sandler I will psychoanalyze him. That's what I'm here for Please do, please do. That's what I'm asking.
Speaker 1:I watched there's a new Devo documentary Very interesting.
Speaker 2:Oh, great, and I watched.
Speaker 1:Thunderbolts slash the New Avengers on Disney+.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's free now Great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's free on Disney+.
Speaker 2:Perfect. That's what we were waiting for.
Speaker 1:The trailers were so good.
Speaker 2:No movie could live up to those trailers, but is it still at least good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's entertaining. I did not like the sound design on the movie at all. I don't think the music was great, those two things. There was just like there was some good stuff, but then at one point they have to ride the elevator up to find the bad guy. You're just like anytime you have to ride an elevator to a thing and then ride an elevator away from a thing. It just there's no stakes because you know you're in an elevator.
Speaker 2:Well, a couple of movies have done it well. Right, Like did you ever see the Losers?
Speaker 1:No, I never saw the Losers.
Speaker 2:First of all, you should watch the Losers. It's great, oh, okay, but Chris Evans is basically singing along to Journeys Don't Stop Believing while some sniper murders are happening and he's in an elevator. It's a really great scene because they do other things with it. Right, the elevator is part of breaking the tensions a little bit.
Speaker 1:They're normal human beings in an elevator.
Speaker 2:No, no, this is a superhero. The.
Speaker 1:Losers. It's a comic book. It's based on a comic book. It's a comic book. I guess they are human.
Speaker 2:I guess you're right. Well, the elevator scene in Captain America is really good.
Speaker 1:But you see, they set that all up perfectly.
Speaker 2:All I'm saying is people have done it well. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 1:And that's your problem, or I guess?
Speaker 2:just Chris Evans. If Chris Evans can be in an elevator, nobody else can be in an elevator.
Speaker 1:Was it in the Turtles movie where they were in an elevator? Yeah, turtles did an elevator. That was pretty funny.
Speaker 2:They start beatboxing. It's kind of funny. It's like the only good moment in that entire. That was pretty. Yeah, Turtles did an elevator. That was pretty funny Because they're doing the they start like beatboxing and like yeah, it was kind of funny. It's like the only good moment in that entire Michael Bay fiasco. So yeah, and that's the whole thing.
Speaker 1:You know, if you put a pile of superheroes in an elevator, you know it's got to be either before things are going on or after things have ended. You can't have it in the middle of everything. You know like, oh, we've lost, so we're going to walk over to the elevator right away.
Speaker 2:You're like no, you can't do that. No, don't think so.
Speaker 1:You know it's like. Think about how pivotal that elevator is in Captain America and the Winter Soldier. It's one of the. I mean, that is the best superhero movie ever made and ever will be made. And that is probably the pivotal scene in the whole movie where all of the acting and the action is perfect.
Speaker 2:Perfect.
Speaker 1:There's nothing bad you could say about that scene. It's perfect. And even when he's riding away on his motorcycle after that, they do that right too. And those are the things that truly matter that you have to get right for a superhero movie to work. Because everything is so tenuous in a superhero movie, because you have to suspend so much disbelief. If you have him riding around in elevators at a certain point, you're like, okay, them riding around in elevators at a certain point you're like okay, but you know, Florence Pugh is Florence Pugh and what's his name?
Speaker 1:is the Red Guardian, is you know, david?
Speaker 2:Harbour is David Harbour, so David Harbour. Yeah, he's the best. I love him.
Speaker 1:And I think if they made a second movie with these characters it could be incredible, because you know we could just have them. You know, it's kind of like whatever that what is the one Avengers movie that starts out where they're running the op? Is that Ultron? Which is the one? I guess that isn't, captain. No, it's the Captain America movie where they go, and Because they're in the woods.
Speaker 2:It's the Winter Soldier.
Speaker 1:Everything good is in that movie. Yeah, now what are?
Speaker 2:Isn't that movie, you know? Yeah, now what are you going to do?
Speaker 1:Every great superhero scene is is is in that you know the one where they're on the bridge, and that they first meet the winter soldier and then yeah, so many good things in that movie. We should yeah, we'll probably go watch those scenes.
Speaker 2:We went through all of the aliens up to Alien Earth this week, so we get to start watching Alien Earth finally.
Speaker 1:I just started re-watching episode one.
Speaker 2:I'm excited, I'm very excited to get started.
Speaker 1:I watched episode four last night and it was.
Speaker 2:That's all that's out, right, just four right now. Yeah, okay, we'll catch up. They just do so much stuff in that show that you're just that's.
Speaker 1:That's all that's out, right, just for right now. Yeah, ok, we'll catch up. They just did so much stuff in that show that you're just like what are you so much thinking? You know, as opposed to you know, it's like you watch the Predator one and you're just like ah, a bunch of fights, who cares? Yeah, you know, yeah, it's silly. Ok, tony, we need, we need a movie.
Speaker 2:We do so. A few weeks ago I don't know if you remember this, Dan we watched a really great horror movie. Jack Black was in it, Freddie Prinze Jr, Jennifer Love Hewitt I still know what you did last summer. Well, I know what you did last summer. 2025 finally dropped on VOD. We're going to watch it. We're going to watch it. We're going to watch it together. I think I'm going to love it. Just full disclosure. I think I'm going to love it, but the scores are telling a different story. So I'm excited. We're going to check it out. See what's going on.
Speaker 2:You're going to go against the flow is what you're telling me I am probably going to go against the flow. Is what you're telling me? I am probably going to go against the flow. I would assume it's going to be great.
Speaker 1:I'm there. Maybe this one will make sense.
Speaker 2:Maybe we'll see what happened. I really don't think that that's going to happen.
Speaker 1:Because that other movie, brandy was good in it, she was fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, listen, it's beautiful cast in the first two. They're all beautiful. I don't know if this cast is attractive or not. This is 2025. I feel like we cast a lot of people that are like interesting looking. That's what they say. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Oh, so you're saying it's not just hot people?
Speaker 2:I think that people nowadays would disagree with me, but I think that today's standards are different and that's probably good. Oh, so you. But?
Speaker 1:I. What you're saying is what the kids say is a hot person, is a, is a, is a, is an interesting person prime example, timothy shalem.
Speaker 2:Uh, I don't find him attractive on any level whatsoever. I think he's a weird nerd. Yeah, I think he's wonderfully talented, right like he's amazing, but he's like a sex symbol and I don't get it oh, this is not. This is not your freddie prince juniors. This is not your ryan philippies. This is like. This is jason biggs from american pie. He's like a weird scrawny. What is happening? So I just don't get it anymore. I'm old, it's fine, but I just disagree with the beauty standards of today. That's all.
Speaker 1:You don't get, you're not getting into Jason Biggs, you're not like ooh.
Speaker 2:I mean, I love Jason.
Speaker 1:Biggs, but he's not a sex symbol.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to jump, jason Biggs.
Speaker 1:I'll hang out with him.
Speaker 2:We'll probably hang out and have a good time, but we're not going to have, you know, any backdoor stuff. You know.
Speaker 1:Well, that's a pleasant image that we'll leave there.
Speaker 2:Great, that's a perfect way to end the show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, If you like what you see, give us a thumbs up, subscribe or leave a comment. Somebody commented that they liked Tim Burton's Dark Shadows To each his own.
Speaker 2:That's great. I love that. Good for you. Everyone should like something. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Somebody has to like that movie. Yeah, what are they not allowed to like, tony?
Speaker 2:I'm not even going to say it, because art is art. Everyone's allowed to like whatever they want to like. Yeah, people liked Happy Kilmer too. Yes we did, because it's brilliant. I watched it again this week. I'm not going to lie to you, I love that movie.
Speaker 1:It's funny man. It made me get seen by an alligator.
Speaker 2:I just love it. Put some respect to my name, detroit. I mean, it's great, it's very funny.
Speaker 1:So sad. Okay, that's it, we'll see you next. Well, actually we won't see you next week. We're off a week, so you'll be a rerun Probably next week.
Speaker 2:We'll do a from the vaults next week. You can pick which one you want and you can let me know. But yeah, we'll be back in two weeks.
Speaker 1:Dan and I are a little busy. Both of us have booked weekends so booked, so full, so filled. Dan and I are a little busy Both of us have booked weekends.
Speaker 2:So booked, so full, so filled. Our lives are so full.
Speaker 1:You know, that's what it is.
Speaker 2:We're just so busy and we're just making money, so we'll see you in a couple of weeks. Goodbye everybody. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. It watch it. We're Dan and Tony. It's like watching you.