Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Zoolander 2: Now Who's Taking Crazy Pills?
Is a creator's vision more important than fan expectations? When Dan selected Zoolander 2 to counter Tony's Happy Gilmore 2 pick, neither expected to ignite a fundamental debate about the nature of filmmaking itself.
What begins as a typical movie discussion quickly transforms into a passionate philosophical standoff. Dan champions Zoolander 2 as a delightfully absurd comedy filled with machine-gun joke delivery, praising everything from Kyle Mooney's hipster character to Kiefer Sutherland's pregnancy reveal. He argues that filmmakers should follow their creative instincts rather than simply recreating what worked before.
Tony, however, sees the film as a betrayal. Where the original Zoolander offered grounded fashion industry satire, the sequel's supernatural elements, fashion police, and action-movie aesthetics abandon everything that made the first film special. "This could be about any group of people that want to live forever. It has nothing to do with fashion," he argues, making the case that legacy sequels have an obligation to honor what fans loved.
The conversation spirals into fascinating territory as the hosts examine specific scenes through completely different lenses. Whether discussing Benedict Cumberbatch's controversial All character, the bizarre masks sequence, or the lava pit finale, their disagreements reveal deeper questions about artistic growth versus audience satisfaction. Dan summarizes the contrast perfectly: "Happy Gilmore 2 is a perfect sequel but not a great movie, while Zoolander 2 is a horrible sequel but a fine movie by itself."
Perhaps most compelling is their exploration of how creative failure shapes artistic paths. Ben Stiller's admission that Zoolander 2's poor reception propelled him toward creating acclaimed work like "Severance" raises questions about whether commercial disappointment sometimes serves a greater purpose.
Whether you've seen the polarizing sequel or not, this episode delivers laugh-out-loud moments alongside thoughtful examination of what we truly want from the films we love. By the end, you'll be questioning your own stance on the eternal debate: should creators prioritize their artistic vision or give audiences exactly what they expect?
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Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech
And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT
See, but that's the thing is like you put celery in like a potato salad or an egg salad or whatever, and then if I bite into one tiny piece of celery, you're just done.
Speaker 2:It's destroyed. I love the potato salad on the ground.
Speaker 1:I mean literally a tiny piece of celery will ruin anything for me.
Speaker 2:I'm going to, someday I'm going to cook for you and I'm just going to put the tiniest bits slivers of celery and just see if you get one.
Speaker 1:Just to risk our friendship. I will be able to suss it out immediately and I will throw the food in your face. Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan, I'm Dan, I'm Tony.
Speaker 2:Last week we talked about Happy Gilmore 2. We're going to start off with this. Okay, yeah, lay it on me, dan.
Speaker 1:This will be our final show.
Speaker 2:I'm surprised you didn't quit mid-episode last week, Just like you know what.
Speaker 1:Forget this. I I'm done. I was watching this show and I was like I wonder if you could tell how angry I was and it's like I couldn't really tell how angry I was, but you could tell it's like a lot of subtle things Like what is wrong with you? I'm still there. I'm still there. What's wrong with me?
Speaker 2:It's a week later, Dan. You got to learn to get over some stuff.
Speaker 1:Actually they had on Instagram. They had a video that was Travis Kelsey getting tied to the tree and attacked by the bear. They made a video of that, which I don't think was in the movie. They talked about how they were going to torture him.
Speaker 2:It was very, very quick. It's when Bad Bunny goes to his happy place, it's just very quickly. He's pouring honey on Travis Kelsey's chest, which is very sexy, and then you hear a bear and he's like no, and then you come back.
Speaker 1:Well, they showed the bear and they said they had this thing and everybody's on set. Everybody's like whoa, we're so funny on set and everybody's like whoa, we're so funny. And I was, like you know, I left a comment that was, like you know, glad someone enjoyed this movie, something like that, you know, because I did not. And you know so each day on Instagram I get a couple of people that, like you know, give me a like on that. So I'm like, oh yeah, they're my people, I have my people.
Speaker 2:My people.
Speaker 1:I have found you, my people. So the movie made me so angry I've begun to write a treatment for how it should have been oh, I love this. I'm very interested in this I'll probably never finish it, but I I worked it out and you know what are you gonna send it over to adam? It involved him not having children. That was one of the main things I think I'm okay with that. Just as a general change.
Speaker 2:I think I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1:I don't think you would have missed any of that stuff.
Speaker 2:No, no, no.
Speaker 1:But plenty of John Daly.
Speaker 2:You want to watch Love Island? I can't believe you didn't like that joke. I'm so mad about that still.
Speaker 1:And I told that to Shannon and she actually laughed when I said that's what he was watching.
Speaker 2:See, Because it's funny Dan.
Speaker 1:But my point is, making a reference is not. You can make a funny reference, but it's not a joke.
Speaker 2:That's true. It's a funny reference and you get a laugh, but it's not a joke. You're right.
Speaker 1:I agree, you're right, it's still funny I wonder how many things you've sat through. When people are just like I'm making a comment, I'm making I'm making a reference and you sat there, it's like, well, if you didn't make if.
Speaker 2:If they made that good of a reference. You see, references can be used right and that's true. The and that was the perfect one, they crushed it. No, I agree with you, general. I do agree. A reference is not a joke. We complain about that all the time. But sometimes they get you. When they talk right to here, right to your heart, when they reach into your soul and pull that out, I mean good for them.
Speaker 1:And Shannon did laugh, so I'm like yeah. I love Shannon. The one last bit I forgot with the Shannon Shannon and I had a big argument before we did the show and I was like well, you know, Adam is a comedian and Shannon said he's not a comedian. Hmm, Okay, that was. I can definitely. She made the giant pitch that she doesn't think he's a comedian.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, he does stand up right, does he?
Speaker 1:did he used to, I think he did.
Speaker 2:I think he did because I watched a clip over this week of him on the press tour, for was a punch drunk love okay one of one of his like more serious roles which was the first serious role.
Speaker 1:That was his first.
Speaker 2:Okay then, it was definitely that one because he was talking about um, how it's such a different world to when he made billy madison and how he expected everyone to love billy madison and he woke up to the to the day where all of that was released and he was not prepared for everyone to hate him and like he thought it was so weird like critic.
Speaker 2:The critical response was so negative and like it really shook him for billy madison, or for billy madison, yeah, he expected because he was like we're just making something stupid and fun and people will enjoy it and the critics just tore it apart and he was like it really affected me and it's just a very different vibe to going into a real movie and having people say positive things and I was like I should send this to dan, because this is kind of dan's whole point is that he's been burned.
Speaker 1:Uh, that was, that was no, that was the burning that's.
Speaker 2:I'm sure that was the. That was the day he changed.
Speaker 1:When he's like I, I'm gonna do what I want to do how I want to do it, and I'm just. I will not care in any, he won't. The praise won't really mean anything and the negative attention won't mean anything.
Speaker 2:And I'm sure that's what happened.
Speaker 1:And that's sad.
Speaker 2:It is sad Um movie was still fun.
Speaker 1:Because because he won't do that, he won't do that to other people. He will. He will care infinitely, when he's doing your project, but when it comes to his project. He's like if I'm going to go to the Academy Awards, I'm going to dress like a hood rat, like a cool dude.
Speaker 2:Like a cool dude to hang out with on the weekend Watch some football.
Speaker 1:Tony, what do we do? I'll ask you what do we do on this show.
Speaker 2:Wow, I have to set this up. Wow, I'm turning the tables on you. I'll ask you what do we do on this show? Oh, wow, I have to set this up. So, on this show, I'll turn the tables on you this time. Hold on, I got it. I wrote it down a long time ago. It's what you did to me last week.
Speaker 1:I'm turning the tables. I will say this one thing about Happy Gilmore I keep on calling it Happy Madison. It makes sense. It wasn't a hard movie to watch.
Speaker 2:No, sir, because it's fun. I understand I'll stop poking the bear no.
Speaker 1:I agree. We watch movies that are just like. You have to do them 15 minutes at a time and you're like oh, please.
Speaker 2:You really got to step through some of them. So, on this show everybody, we watch a movie and then we talk about a movie and this week, see, I'm keeping it quick and easy and this week I got to pick the movie in response to dan picking happy gomor 2.
Speaker 2:I was like you want to he, you want to see a bad sequel, a bad legacy sequel. Let's go to zoolander 2, the epitome of bad legacy sequels. So that's what we're doing this week and dan clearly loved it. I can tell from the head shaking, uh. So this backfired immensely I love this movie no, you don't shut up. I'm gonna turn this off because you were doing this. To get back at me for last week, the greatest thing ever is.
Speaker 1:I would never do that. I might play at it, but there are only a few small things in this movie that I did not like.
Speaker 2:Was it the entire script? I thought the script was great.
Speaker 1:I thought the joke.
Speaker 2:I am shocked. I think this is like.
Speaker 1:Happy Gilmore 2. This movie was made for me. I think this is like Happy Gilmore 2. This movie was made for me.
Speaker 2:And I don't believe this movie was made for the people that either, because I didn't watch Fans of Zoolander 1,.
Speaker 1:you are correct, it is not made for them. Don't care, but this movie was completely made for me. This movie just was like this was truly random jokes. I thought the commentary on the fashion world was very funny. I thought the commentary on action movies was very funny. I think this movie did. Probably another reason why people didn't like it is because it is a comment on action movies.
Speaker 2:But also, zoolander 1 is not an action movie. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:That's insane they put out Megan 1 right, and then they put out Megan 2, and then they made it, which we should do probably we'll do it when it comes, but they made it.
Speaker 1:They made it into a different movie. People want the same movie. I'm excited, people want the same movie. I remember seeing Zoolander and I was like, eh, whatever. There was a couple of things that I thought their interactions were funny. I thought Hansel was funny but I didn't like Zoolander. I thought it was kind of stupid. But in this one it is stupid, this one I thought they handled the Zoolander character perfectly and I thought Hansel was just right.
Speaker 2:Still, great yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I liked almost all the secondary characters. I loved all the cameos. I thought all the cameos got in there, made their joke, got them out, didn't waste time with them. The couple that they did use multiple times well, billy Zane, they did not use enough times. We could have used two or three more, yeah.
Speaker 2:I assume and this is based on nothing, I assume he wasn't all that interested, because he's a great part of the first one, oh really, so to not have him being more integral seemed a little weird to me.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean he was, his setup was great, hoping he'd pop in a couple more times and just drop the thing. I think I found Mugatu. I thought he had a couple of great scenes and the ending was fine, but I think he was the funniest part of the first movie and I thought he was fine. He was doing a fine Will Ferrell bit but it was not like the strong. I think people complained about the ending. I think that's wise, because all the really funny stuff was in the other parts and then his part is fine.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's why we complain about the ending. Dan, I understand what you're saying, but the ending's just batshit crazy.
Speaker 1:It makes no sense.
Speaker 2:I'm going to say two words to tony tommy likey that's so creepy, though, because we know that he's not a good guy, right like tommy is he not a good guy?
Speaker 1:I don't know, he's not a good guy right, I feel like I remember us not.
Speaker 2:I did we not cancel him. Hold on, I don't let me look something, because now I might be slandering his name.
Speaker 1:We better be careful going after Tommy Hilfiger. I mean, I truly have no idea. I don't remember it happening.
Speaker 2:Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. The Abercrombie and Fitch guys? Oh, maybe that's who it is I think you might be thinking about that as a fat guy, I wasn't allowed to wear either of their clothes, so I could. You know, sometimes they blend together, so if I'm wrong about that, I apologize, tommy.
Speaker 1:And I mean Kyle Mooney. I could see I know there's a lot of people don't like Kyle Mooney. I think Kyle Mooney destroyed every one of his lines.
Speaker 2:I thought his, I thought his moderate Great in this movie.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:He is the one kid. The only character in this entire movie that I thought hit all the way through was him. And I don't love Kyle Mooney. I'm not a huge Mooney fan, but this is, this is like a spot on. Yeah, this is really good.
Speaker 1:And I could see how people would respond negatively to the Kyle Mooney, because it's and, and the people who wrote this was uh ben and uh justin thoreau, who wrote with him um, what you?
Speaker 2:call tropic thunder tropic thunder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, no, we like, we like thoreau for sure and I I think this movie is very similar to tropic thunder and I think that they, I think and I, I think ben really got I, I, I think he was hurt by I haven't seen him talk about it, but I think he was really hurt because I think he made a. He made exactly the movie he wanted to make and people didn't get it.
Speaker 2:So he did an interview and thought it was a cash grab and it's like it's the opposite of that.
Speaker 1:They came up with the, and I mean the movie is beautifully shot, beautifully editing. It's just it's a good looking movie. He made a James Bond, whatever movie, and it's I mean. It's tragic, it's so sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so sad that you decided to turn Zoolander into a James Bond film. I agree, because it's totally wrong, tonally, not totally Tonally wrong Completely. And this is why Happy Gilmore 2, for me, is great. It's because Happy Gilmore 2 is the same movie as Happy Gilmore One, just with new jokes, and that's about it. If you wait, what was it? 15 years between.
Speaker 1:Zoolander and Zoolander 2? Just about 15 years, and then you're like well, guys, guess what?
Speaker 2:I'm bringing Zoolander 2 back. However, it'll be nothing like the movie that you like and enjoy, and it's going to be everything you don't give a shit about. That's. That's why we did like this movie.
Speaker 1:Cause people can't. They can't view the thing in a vacuum, they they have to break and that's, that's your whole. Thing is you couldn't view happy Gilmore, too, in a vacuum.
Speaker 2:I can view things in a vacuum, and this is a great you can absolutely watch this movie without having seen Zoolander 1, because they are nothing alike, yeah, and which is here's the thing. Sometimes I think that works. I don't think a legacy sequel is the right place to do that. If this was made three years after the first one, so it was just a continuation of the story, I'm more on board.
Speaker 2:But when the fans this becomes a cult classic and then, 15 years later, you're like okay, we're going to make it again, but fuck you fans. This is for a different group of people.
Speaker 1:That's a mistake. That's a mistake man. They are creators in a different space and they're going to make a different movie. And this was a movie that was perfectly dialed in for the time period, and was it? You know it's 2016. That's in the, you know, the the waning years of the blockbuster, and this is a huge comment on tom cruise and all of those things which is funny because ben and tom are like friends yeah which is funny yeah, you know, friendly or whatever.
Speaker 2:Um, it's great he had like, like apparently he had Tom come do like a video for his brother-in-law's birthday or something, so like they're friendly. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Which is great. What were you going to say about what he said after this movie failed?
Speaker 2:Yes. So Stiller has said that he was very surprised and upset that it didn't do well, but he said he is thankful for it not doing well because he feels if it had done well he would have stuck to making movies like this and this allowed him to like, creatively switch and branch out and then we get you know, we get some more more mature things from him. So he's like this was kind of the turning point in my career, positively and negatively at the same time, and it propelled me to the next stage. So that's a good way to look at it, because boy did we hate this movie when it came out.
Speaker 1:They did and I was just like, okay, I'm staying away from that because I didn't care for the first one. So I'm like, oh, geez.
Speaker 2:I love the first one. So I'm like, oh geez, I love the first one, watched it. We watched these back to back yesterday, uh, which is not the right way to watch it. I'm just gonna tell you that right now, if you like the first movie, don't watch it back to back. It is not the same, very different movies oh, oh now you know, how I feel.
Speaker 1:Okay, we start, since we've already done 25 minutes of the show.
Speaker 2:We'll start the movie.
Speaker 1:Zoolander 2 Magnum Edition. Is Magnum another one of the looks, or what is Magnum?
Speaker 2:Maybe you should have watched the first one, blue Steel, is the one look. So Blue Steel is his like look, and in the first movie. He's been working on Magnum for years and everyone's like show us Magnum.
Speaker 2:He's like it's nowhere near ready. So then the end of the movie, the final thing, when he throws, when Mugatu throws the Chinese star at the Prime Minister, he stops it with Magnum and everyone's like it's beautiful. You know basically what happens at the end of this movie. Just more realistically, even though he's still stopping a Chinese throwing star in midair with a look, it still makes sense in the movie, unless this nonsense.
Speaker 1:I think it was, wasn't it. I think it was Indonesia. I think it was Indonesia.
Speaker 2:The uh hold on. He must, he must kill the Malaysian prime minister.
Speaker 1:Not Chinese, Sorry, but I guess you're the one that watched the movie, so you know I have a terrible memory and apparently I'm super racist, so it all works out for everybody. The best part was in this movie when they're talking about something in the past and they play the clip of the old thing and I was like, yes, and it works, as opposed to happy kilmore where it didn't well, I think the difference would be they do that twice maybe in the movie. In this is it just once.
Speaker 2:Is it just the chinese throwing star?
Speaker 1:I think it's just that one time, I think so right.
Speaker 2:so if you do it one time, it's okay. Yeah, if you do it every 10 minutes, it's just that one time. I think so Right. So if you do it one time, it's okay, if you do it every 10 minutes, it's a little much guys.
Speaker 1:So we have somebody running away. There's motorcycle gunmen chasing them. Eventually they catch him. Oh, he tries to go to this one door and I thought he was trying to get someone named Steve, but I think he's saying Sting. He's saying Sting. He's saying Sting, that's funny.
Speaker 1:They kill him. It turns out to be Justin Bieber and then they shoot him a bunch of times, then he lays there and as he's dying, he does a thing, he goes and makes a last post and he does blue steel and then he says you can't kill us all, we will protect the chosen one.
Speaker 2:He doesn't do blue steel.
Speaker 1:He does aqua vitae. He does aqua vitae.
Speaker 2:So this is where the movie loses me already. Why, when they're shooting Bieber?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And they're doing the excessive gunshots with the shaking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they're doing the excessive gunshots with the shaking. That's a direct ripoff from his own movie, tropic Thunder, which they wrote the exact same scene for Sergeant Forley, ben Stiller. And Ben Stiller is so funny. He goes slack-jawed in Tropic Thunder and the way he shakes it's visually funny. But he's also getting riddled with bullets and then gets back up, gets riddled again, so like they reuse that same joke. The problem is it's not the bullets that make that joke funny. To me, it's the person getting like railed and he's like just his face is full and Bieber can't do it. So to reuse that joke, only worse. I was already like nope, I'm done, I'm out. This movie's terrible, I'm done. That's how I felt in the movie theaters 20 years ago or whatever.
Speaker 1:10 years ago, 10 years ago, there we go. Yeah, I was like meh, didn't do it, that scene didn't do any for me. I was like well, we'll see, but it should, because you're killing Bieber.
Speaker 2:It should be as fun as when Amsterdam kills Taylor Swift. It should be that level of fun, but it's not.
Speaker 1:I still think about that scene all the time. You've done the whole thing and you have Bieber for one day and it's like you're going to get out of him what you're going to get out of him.
Speaker 2:Well, that's true. That's true, it's the Biebs.
Speaker 1:They should have probably written some better. You know, something funnier on the day.
Speaker 2:A joke. A joke would have been great.
Speaker 1:We meet Penelope Cruz. She's Interpool agent, Valentina. He is the sixth pop star to die. Somebody puts together that he's making a Zoolander face and they're like you know where is Zoolander? Okay, Then we do the whole setup, Then we do like a 20-minute. You know, we do the exact same thing they did in Happy Gilmore, but this time it's actually funny.
Speaker 2:No, that's so funny. That's so funny that you say it, because I feel the exact opposite. It's the exact same thing they do in Happy Gilmore, except for in Happy Gilmore it makes sense. It makes sense for the character and it makes sense for the story. This is nonsense. This is dumb. He built it out of toothpick. What was it? I don't remember Popsicles. That's not. That's dumb.
Speaker 1:That's the joke. The joke is, he builds like a reading center for children and it falls apart because he used the same materials that they used when they made the model of it, which is popsicle sticks and rubber cement.
Speaker 2:Rubber cement, highly flammable no, it's not funny, it's stupid this beautiful image of this giant book falling into the water.
Speaker 1:It kills off the wife. I'm like this is a funny way to kill off the wife and we're done, with the wife who comes back as a ghost. Wow, this is a legacy sequels. I guess maybe happy gilmore was watching this movie. He's like, well, I'll just pick there we go.
Speaker 2:Well, listen, at least it made sense. And happy gilmore, they foreshadowed it in the first movie. Okay, he loses.
Speaker 1:The wife dies, hansel is injured. Uh mugato, then, is thrown into fashion prison. He's a bad parent.
Speaker 2:So this is yeah, oh, no, no, finish. You can finish that.
Speaker 1:He's a bad parent because he doesn't know how to make spaghetti and he loses his kid. And then he retires and change his. He changes his name to Eric Tulander and he is forgotten.
Speaker 2:A couple things that I really found funny. The spaghetti is very funny, that's a. That's a great way to lose your child to child services, because that's a very serious topic and it's very funny the way they do.
Speaker 1:How do you make it wet, or what?
Speaker 2:how do you make it soft so stupid? Um so here's like my big problem with the whole movie. To me, yeah, is it starts with Magatu going to fashion prison. Not a thing, that's not a thing.
Speaker 1:We're not in the real world, but we were in the first movie.
Speaker 2:So, that's where it's I mean Was the real?
Speaker 2:world. Yes, no, it's closer, I'll say that. So the whole I'll just give you the quick premise is he's a, he's like the biggest fashion model in the world. Uh, hansel is the is the up and fresh up and comer. So it's a little bit about their rivalry.
Speaker 2:But at the same time there's a plot to kill the malaysian prime minister by mugatu, because the prime minister is raising uh child labor laws. So you can't use children. I mean, it's that's, it's so good, um, so there there's like a syndicate of fashion people that are trying to keep the, the children in the workforce in uh, in other countries. So that's what it's about. And they take that idea, that kernel of like, oh, there's a dark uh syndicate of these fashion people and they turn it into this entire world that did not exist before. So all these, the fashion police, interpersonal fashion division that's dumb, I hate it. That's not a thing. They just they change the world so entirely from the first movie, that it's just like I can't get on board, because you're not even in the same world of the movie that we loved and asked you to make a sequel to. So that's like my big problem. And they really lean into it hard. They lean so hard into it that it's just like ugh.
Speaker 1:This whole movie's absurd. It's a completely absurd movie.
Speaker 2:It's a completely absurd movie that has nothing to do with the first movie.
Speaker 1:That's fine. Completely absurd movie that has nothing to do with the first movie.
Speaker 2:That's fine, I'm okay with it, no problem. No problem there. That's because you don't even remember the first movie, dan. You're watching this as if it's its own movie, but it's not okay everything should be judged in a vacuum, right, because? What if, like, we disagree? What?
Speaker 1:if, like in a hundred years, all the copies of zoolander are gone and people only have Zoolander to judge, they're going to love it.
Speaker 2:I don't know if they're going to love it, but they won't have anything to compare it to, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:He's in the depths of New Jersey, which is like the depths of Alaska. That was funny. I was just like they've used the Chiron Funny, it's snowing. And here the Chiron funny, it's snowing. And here comes Billy Zane, who's his new mailman. He's like that's great. And he brings him. What does he bring him? He brings him mail which is this it's Netflix. Oh, he brings him his next flicks of Jack Ryan and Jack Reacher. Tonight I'm going to have a total jack off. Great, that was funny.
Speaker 2:I laughed. Yeah, I wrote that down. I laughed, don't worry.
Speaker 1:Billy Zane laughed. The gift is like this puzzle box troll fashion lady. It's this weird. It's Kristen Wiig doing a sort of Donatella Versace and it is, I thought, by far the weakest part of the entire movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is, it's not funny. It never got one single laugh from me.
Speaker 1:Never got a laugh. I did not notice Christian Wigg until the end of the movie.
Speaker 2:Oh I mean they do a lot of work so that you don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's got big weird lips and she's always wearing these weird dresses and yeah, it's not funny.
Speaker 2:And once again.
Speaker 1:They needed to change that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they didn't change it, dan, so this movie's terrible, we're all in agreement.
Speaker 1:It's going to get so funny. He's going to come to Rome for the new collection for Donatari and Billy Zane gives him a hidden thing. You know, go engage with the world and get your son back. So he's all like is this the part where he's like you can do that?
Speaker 2:Yes, which is also a very good joke. Yeah, billy Zane's like yeah, you didn't even try to get it back, it's just a moment of silence. It's like you could do that.
Speaker 1:Very funny that's very funny, and that's what I really liked about this movie is he's a complete idiot, and just about everybody around him knows he's a complete idiot.
Speaker 2:Same thing happens in the first one, except, well, I guess the difference is is that all of the male models are idiots. It's like it's a, it's a. So there's more dumb people, you know what I mean. So, like in this movie, he's more surrounded by regular people. He's the only, and so there is more of a dynamic, whereas in the first one, a lot of them are dumb. So his wife whose, whose name I can't remember, but his wife in real life, and the movie is kind of the outsider, where she's like you're all very dumb. And then Mugatu gets to play Like I, he's not.
Speaker 2:It was the famous line Like I feel like I'm taking crazy pills because you're all so stupid, and it's ridiculous. So, like in this movie, he's surrounded more by regular people, which is also a lie, because, like Penelope Cruz is a model for swimsuit. Oh lie, because, like penelope cruz is a model for a swimsuit. Oh my god, I hate this movie. I hate everything they did, um, but like, so some of these people shouldn't be smarter than him technically in the world that they built, sure? So it's just, it's all.
Speaker 1:It's very confusing, dan they could, they could have modulated her intelligence. That is true. Um, he's, you know, he's like, put on all his snow gear to go, you know marching back there, and he just walks. Like you know. He's like, put on all his snow gear to go, you know marching back there, and he just walks. Like you know, six feet to the Uber. Yeah.
Speaker 2:There it is that's.
Speaker 1:That's a joke. That's a joke that works. It's good, it's always going to work. Um, and then we go to the Malibu desert. Instead of it being Malibu, it's like these endless wastes of uh wastes of dunes.
Speaker 2:I was like this is very funny. Yeah, the first part of this movie is fairly funny. And many of the other parts.
Speaker 1:So we meet Hansel. He's doing like some crazy yoga. I guess he does weird yoga, because he does that a couple of times in the movie, I think.
Speaker 2:I mean no, not really in the first one. He's very flexible and he is able to take off his underwear without taking off his pants, and that was like the big, his big moment in the movie, which is very funny. So they just kind of took that and kind of ran with it.
Speaker 1:So he has this golden eagle sort of mask on one eye because he got injured in the collapse. I was like, okay, that's's gonna be fun when we, when we deal with that, he has a hawk comes, brings his a mess, brings him a message he has to go home. He treks across that. There's this home and there's just this assortment of random hipsters that are all there, um, and it's so fast you can't even clock who they are or what they are or what's happening.
Speaker 1:There's like a sumo wrestler. There's, you know, all these different people and they all came two years ago for an orgy and have stayed and just never left.
Speaker 2:Yeah, uh, and this is, this is my favorite, this is I think this is my favorite character in the whole movie oh, uh.
Speaker 1:So his wife, who I think is, or whatever, his main squeeze, which I think is I don't know if it's naomi campbell or someone- it's yeah, I don't know, I'm not sure either, but it's yeah, yes, she goes she goes I'm pregnant and holds up the pregnancy test, and then we cut to everyone and everyone holds up, they're all pregnant. Everyone's pregnant Men, women, whatever. And the way they cut this joke is so perfect. Yeah, and then Kiefer Sutherland leads in.
Speaker 2:Favorite joke of the movie Pregnancy. What does he?
Speaker 1:say, does he Favorite joke of the movie Pregnancy?
Speaker 2:What does he say? Well, hansel is taken back by the whole situation and Kiefer just goes. We thought you'd be happy and he delivers it. So seriously it's perfect.
Speaker 1:I lost my shit, it's perfect, it's so good.
Speaker 2:Kiefer I mean bad guy, but just like a gem.
Speaker 1:Oh, is he a terrible person.
Speaker 2:He's a mean guy. Everyone that works with him is like he's real tough to work with because he's an asshole, but he's still very talented. I love him.
Speaker 1:He runs away into the desert and does the who am I, which I think was probably in the first movie. I don't know.
Speaker 2:It is, it is from the first one is, and it makes sense in the first one and they just they, you know beat it to death in this one, but it's fine as you have to.
Speaker 1:Uh, and here comes bill billy zane with uh, the invitation to rome. Just like uh, just like derrick, great, they're in rome um, they follow and I never laugh again, dan.
Speaker 2:oh, you're what. We haven't even gotten to Kyle Mooney. No, yeah, you're right. You're right, I'm trying to look at all the laughs that I did there's so many good jokes in here.
Speaker 1:There's this horrible bag. Hansel and Derek fight over it. They both say it's their bag, because of course they both have the same terrible bag. And then they're riding on the escalator and then here's all the paparazzi and they think it's for them. But it's not for them, it's for susan boyle, who's right behind them very good joke. And then fred armisen shows up as this weird digital little kid person no, this is not.
Speaker 2:this is too much, too weird. I did not laugh, I just felt uncomfortable the whole time.
Speaker 1:It's so weird. You're like what is happening? He's the social media guy.
Speaker 2:How old are you now? Eleven, Like what.
Speaker 1:Why what's happening? They ride over in the taxi and they talk about being a responsible parent. Then we learn that Hansel didn't have a father, so that's sort of something he's going through.
Speaker 2:Sure magically.
Speaker 1:Valentino clocks, that Zoolander is in Rome. Then we get like these 10 Federmann delivers. Like these 10 jokes about how it's a biodegradable hotel and there's farm-to-table Wi-Fi, and it's just. It's just this barrage of buzzwords.
Speaker 2:It's just nonsense. It's just nonsense. It's gobbledygook nonsense. I did not like it.
Speaker 1:And they, they have to, they have to stay together. He tries to call Billy Zane, can't get Billy Zane, and then they, just then, they begin to bond over you know, not, not at Billy Zane and then they begin to bond over not being part of what's going on anymore, being very disconnected from the world.
Speaker 2:that we're in.
Speaker 1:What is this? Oh yeah, oh boy, Now we do the playback. Derek can't do it anymore you know he's.
Speaker 2:He's lost it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he lost the fire in his face, yeah and then hansel reiterates you know what he could do with magnum.
Speaker 2:And then and the reason why that's the only flashback you get in this movie, because it's the only time that there are supernatural powers in that entire movie. And they're like remember that one thing, we're going to pretend that that's the only time that there are supernatural powers in that entire movie. And they're like remember that one thing, we're gonna pretend that that's the entire world. That's not okay, dan. I hate that you're smiling about it.
Speaker 1:I love this world so hansel is like talking about how terrible his face is he? We see him pull off the mask and derek's like it's okay, it's, it's fine, it's a fine. And then he just starts and Derek's like it's okay, it's fine, it's a fine. And then he just starts screaming in a hole and there's just like this little scar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's very funny.
Speaker 1:But he gives it, he takes it to 20. You know, he does not just go you know like it would happen in a normal movie where you he just screams bloody hell, it's nothing.
Speaker 1:Uh, okay, they glam up, they get a nice musical entrance and here comes kyle mooney as don atari. Um, he's like this hipster that hot and colds everything. He's like yeah, you look so lame, but you but you know everything's a negative, but it's actually so lame, I love it. Yeah, it's so lame, but you know everything's a negative, but it's actually a positive.
Speaker 2:You're so lame, I love it. Yeah, it's so stupid and he just.
Speaker 1:You know, once again, it's just a machine gun of information and it's totally hilarious, Just never stops, never stops.
Speaker 1:And he introduces a couple people and the one guy he's like he gives the best terrible tattoos he gave me this, colonel sanders and he pulls up his thing and it's like darth vader saying where's the piece. I'm like, okay, this is, this is the. I believe this is the 28 minute mark. I'm like this is this. Is funnier than I've had already had more laughs than I've had in this entire show that you and I have done the entirety of probably every episode we've done.
Speaker 1:I've already had probably more laughs. I've laughed like four times.
Speaker 2:You have laughed more than Tony you gotta chill out.
Speaker 1:I can find all the laughs. You've laughed 10 or 12 times already.
Speaker 2:There's no way. It's that many times and there's only three more laughs left in the movie.
Speaker 1:There's so many more laughs left in the movie.
Speaker 2:No, there's only two more good lines in the whole movie Other than Kyle Mooney, who makes me chuckle the whole time that he's around.
Speaker 1:He is just out of control.
Speaker 2:He's on fire Out of control.
Speaker 1:The show is on a toxic waste dump and then we meet. Benedict Cumberbatch playing a trans character called All All, we are All, and he's so good. I guess they got backlash from the trans community that they should have used a trans person and Benedict has had to say that he wouldn't have taken the part now and that's that's fine. But this was nine years ago.
Speaker 2:Things have changed a lot as they should, as they should um. You know, that's tough, it's tough that's a tough thing.
Speaker 1:I think the bigger part is that they're they're making fun of the whole situation, yeah, which I find hilarious, because they will cross the boundaries and they're going to go after everything that has to do with the fashion world, and this is very emblematic of the fashion world.
Speaker 2:And I thought that this was going to be like the new Hansel storyline.
Speaker 1:See, you were just waiting for the same movie to play out again.
Speaker 2:Because that's what you do with the legacy sequel. You got it. So here's the difference. Right, like everyone, you people, you and then some other people are like, oh, happy, gilmore 2 was lazy, it's not lazy.
Speaker 2:It is painstakingly loving letter to the first movie. It goes out of its way to be like hey, we're still together, we're still friends, we're still doing the same thing. 20, 30 years later, this movie is like hey guys, remember when you made us famous, when you took a weird, crappy movie and were like this is the best thing ever made. Well, fuck you, we don't like that movie. We want to make a completely different movie. That means absolutely nothing to you. You're just shitting on the fans.
Speaker 2:That's the way I feel about it so there's a there's a line in this movie hold on a second.
Speaker 1:Hold on let's let's go to this, the world of the fans, how the creators only exist for the fans, which I think. No, no, no, oh yes, that's what you're saying a legacy sequel is for the fan.
Speaker 2:It's one of two things it's a cash grab or it's for the fans. That's what legacy sequels should, because if you waited 20 years to make a movie about the other movie you did, the only reason that movie is still in the zeitgeist enough for people to care that you are making this movie is because of the fans. You see, that's the difference. If you made this movie five years after the first one, I'm fine with it. That's fine, because it's still in the like. You're still in that world. Everyone else has moved on, except for the fans.
Speaker 2:People that didn't love the first one didn't see this movie, probably because they don't give a shit. So the people that are seeing a legacy sequel are the people that love the original, and this movie just decided not to care about them at all. And there's a line in here where Mugatu is. I don't remember what they're talking about, but at some point he goes. It can never live up to the original or something like that. And I was like they know they're doing it on purpose, like they know what they're supposed to do and they don't care. Yeah, and that's frustrating and I get it. I'm not saying that they're wrong. I'm just saying I don't like it.
Speaker 1:And that's the difference between you and me, tony 100%. You're on the size of the fans, I'm on the size of the creator.
Speaker 2:Because you're a creator and I don't create anything and I'm just a fan and that's fine, fired up. We should make a legacy sequel to this movie and make it exactly like the first one. God damn it.
Speaker 1:Don't you change a thing. I gotta contact those guys, don't you dare rune fired up.
Speaker 2:I will lose my shit Dad.
Speaker 1:Okay, so here he is, and then is it. I think it's Hansel that does it's like. Well, do you have a hot dog?
Speaker 2:A hot dog.
Speaker 1:A hot dog or a bun or a bun and he mixes it. I think three different ways asking the same question yeah, he does it's just so it's rude, but it's not that rude. But it's the question that you know nine years ago. You're going to be asked, you're going to, you're going to, you're going to think to ask that question. Now you're not going to ask that question, you're just going to be like you're going to think you can't ask it Like that's the.
Speaker 2:you can't ask something like that.
Speaker 1:You still could kind of ask it then. Now you can't ask it anymore. And so they could make that joke.
Speaker 2:And he's of course I remember seeing that in the theaters. The wife and I saw it in theaters and I distinctly have this memory of looking over to her during this scene and she is horrified. She's horrified Like in the movie theater. She's got her mouth open like this and I was just like, yeah, I don't think we could do this anymore. I don't know, I think even then, like we were it's do this anymore.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I think even then, like we were, it was on the edge. I don't know it was right on the edge it was.
Speaker 2:I mean, which is what they do, like Tropic Thunder as well, with the R word stuff, if you remember that scene, like that's what they do, they like to, they find that little thing that's you know, not okay and just cross that line. We're just going to cross the line a little.
Speaker 1:The simple Jack stuff in Tropic Thunder is amongst. I laughed as hard as I laughed at that, at things in this movie.
Speaker 2:I watched Tropic. We watched half of Tropic Thunder after we watched this movie, just to remember that Ben Stiller could be funny.
Speaker 1:I mean Tropic Thunder is a perfect movie.
Speaker 2:This isn't a perfect movie. Oh, it's wonderful.
Speaker 1:This is a movie so packed with great laughs that, yeah, my problem.
Speaker 2:Dan, I'll stop, and then I'm going to stop.
Speaker 1:I'm going to stop complaining. I understand exactly what your problem is.
Speaker 2:My problem is that Tropic Thunder came out eight years before this.
Speaker 1:Oh, really that long before, eight years before it.
Speaker 2:And so this movie just feels like a hey, remember when Tropic Thunder was really good. What if we? Did the same thing to Zoolander. I think so. I think you're right, and I don't like that. I don't like it. You're trying to capitalize on the wrong movie, and I think that's what. If you want to do a Tropic Thunder 2, then fine.
Speaker 1:Well, I think that's what Ben realized is he was Sure and realized is he was. They had so much fun on that. They were like you know, let's do that again. Let's do that with Zoolander and get the gang back together and let's have some fun with it. And the fans were just like we don't want to have fun with it, we want to be serviced, which is what the fans.
Speaker 2:We want to have fun, but we want to have fun in the same world. We want anything to be remotely the same. Please God, nope, nope.
Speaker 1:All is doing monomarriage. He's marrying himself because it's legal in Italy. Okay, so Alexandra is there. That's Kristen Wiig's weird character. She's like what is happening, she floats and you're like what is happening?
Speaker 2:She floats.
Speaker 1:And you're like, yeah, I don't care.
Speaker 2:It would be funnier if I liked the character at all.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. The character needed to actually say something, but she didn't. She wasn't a stand-in for anything, right? We don't know what she's a stand-in for. Okay, cue the fashion show.
Speaker 2:Okay, cue the fashion show they're put into coffins very funny up, come the coffins on stage.
Speaker 1:They open here. They are red jumpsuits with hello my name is. Gigantic stickers on them, one of them. One of them says old and the other says lame, and hansel's like old and then derek is like lame lame and then here comes all descending from the ceiling as an angel and he starts to whip them. It was so funny, oh my god I'm glad you find it funny.
Speaker 2:I was just like what's happening? It's what is going on.
Speaker 1:This is where fashion shows are at this point.
Speaker 2:They hold them on a toxic waste dump. Fashion has changed in 15 years. I get what they're going for. I just didn't care for it.
Speaker 1:Oh, so funny. He whips them. And then they get out there and Hansansel's like I think it worked. He's like, and I think even derrick gets, we were a joke out there. Uh, alexander comes up, you're amazing, gives them a thing for the incredible, which is just a fake, met gala. Um, derrick is done. You know he was burned out and thinks we don't fit in. And then here comes Valentina on a motorcycle looking smoking hot. And then she's like I can help you find your son.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:There it is. They go back to the Eiffel and Interpol thing and he says that's not Blue Steel, that Justin Bieber is doing.
Speaker 2:This is the only other joke I wrote down Is that she is like she shows him all the pictures and she's like he's doing Blue Steel right, and Ben Stiller's character, derek Zoolander, the dumbest person in this entire movie, gets the line what are you a fucking idiot? How does he say that? It's so angry? It's not just like well, no, it's this one. He's like what are you a fucking idiot? I don't know. That got me really good. The anger, the venom that he puts behind it. It's very funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so he's doing aqua vitae. Then we run this, we run this. You had to have laughed at this ad where he comes out as a centaur cow oh, no that.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're right. When the part I laughed at is that she walks away she walks away with milk all over her mouth, so you know that at some point she just started sucking on those otters. Dude, oh God, it's so wrong.
Speaker 1:And at the end of it. So he's a centaur cow and at the end of it, he goes moo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's good, it's a good bet.
Speaker 1:Valentina and Derek almost have a moment. And then we find out that the sun is in. It's good, it's a good bet. Valentina and Derek almost have a moment, and then we find out that the son is in Rome, which we know is a trap. They go to the orphanage the next day. They see him playing there. He's gorgeous, he's got the hair blah, blah blah, but of course that is not his kid. Derek Jr's kid is fat. They're calling him Fatlander.
Speaker 2:And then Derek has to go and talk it out in the pub. Well, my favorite part of this whole thing is, as soon as he figures it out, he starts running away. We have to go, we have to go. He's so ashamed of it that he's fat. It's a good bit, it's a good bit.
Speaker 1:He goes and talks it out in the puddle. The wife shows up in there and she's like he's your son, he needs you. Somebody gives him the Beware. The Headmaster I don't know who gives that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, yeah, I don't know. Whatever, it don't matter. Hansel gets a call and it's all police song references. Yes, yes, yeah, and he doesn't get any of them.
Speaker 1:No, he doesn't get any of them.
Speaker 2:Which is a great. Not, by the way, I won't do this as much because they don't seem to give a shit about Zoolander 1. But this is actually a great bit that references Zoolander 1, which they get to do like character profiles when they're up for the same award, and Hansel's thing is like people I really admire Sting is one of them. I don't listen to his music, but the fact that he makes it so, the fact that they're using lyrics and he doesn't know the lyrics, that's a very funny bit.
Speaker 1:Well, there's your legacy callback they gave you some legacy callbacks.
Speaker 2:Tony, you get one the whole time. Come on, Dan.
Speaker 1:So he takes off with the kid in the car and the kids like yelling at him you weren't there.
Speaker 2:And then at one point, the kid says you seem like an idiot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, they get and he's right, they get gelato and then they have a giant car crash.
Speaker 2:Which that car crash was very funny and you see, this is the stuff that I'm just like no, because this is stupid, it's very stupid. Fine, it's just, it's just such a different world than the first one, like I, I can't see past zoolander one so wait a second, I can't do it.
Speaker 1:I can't do it in happy gilmore too. Uh, what's his name? Gets eaten by alligators and no one reacts. Yeah, it's hilarious, it's funny.
Speaker 2:It is funny, one because it's Eminem and two because he's yelling at these gators, and he's a bad guy.
Speaker 1:All three positive things. They're just doing the Monty Python bit. You're like, oh, it's got the dude. Which one that was? Yeah, that's what they were doing that bit.
Speaker 2:Well sure, that was. Yeah, that's what they were doing. That bit well, sure, but they get to do it with Detroit. What great bit.
Speaker 1:I still say that all the time now see, but I don't even know it's. I don't know that that's imminent. Why would I know that's imminent?
Speaker 2:because it's imminent. First of all, you gotta get up to speed. He's wearing like a bucket hat and sunglasses.
Speaker 1:I don't know. That's imminent. How am I supposed?
Speaker 2:to know that. You knew that going into the movie, didn't you? No, I mean, I knew that he made a cameo there it is.
Speaker 1:It was like one of those things that they were teasing.
Speaker 2:They're like Eminem's in this. He's very funny, get ready for it. And as soon as he shows up, you're like, oh God, of course, of course, he's the jackass' son. It's great, it's perfect, perfect. Cammy, I didn't know that. Well, you don't know either of those things.
Speaker 1:You didn't know, eminem, but you also don't know who he's the son of, because you didn't see the first one. They showed joe flaherty in the flashback and I'm like sure but you don't know what, who he is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly. So you don't get it, dan, you don't get it I got all the jokes in this movie.
Speaker 1:You didn't get the the Sting one. I didn't get a weird callback, but I thought it was hilarious that. Sting was his dad. Oops, spoilers.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh, Stay tuned to the end of the show. Everybody Car crash.
Speaker 1:His kid is reading the Malala book. We have a flashback to the end he marries Malala.
Speaker 2:It goes down with him. Yeah, I don't know, that one was weird. I didn't connect with that one at all.
Speaker 1:to be honest with you, he calls him a has-been narcissist. And then, since the kid can speak Italian, derek is very impressed, because Derek knows he's dumb. He does know that he's not a super smart guy.
Speaker 2:And so having a kid, that's actually smart. It was a. It was an emotional little moment. Yeah, in the first I mean they have him more cognizant of it in this one, which is fine because it's been years or whatever. But like a lot of the comedy comes from him not totally realizing that he's dumb in the first one.
Speaker 2:But again it's because he's surrounded by other dumb people, so they say dumb things. And then when he has a chance to talk to his wife, uh, like he gives a eulogy at a funeral and she is, they're walking out and he's like what you didn't think I would know what a you googly was, and like that's funny because it's stupid. And she knows that it's not, but nobody else in his world would have been able to call him on that.
Speaker 1:So he's, he's less, he's less cognizant of it as opposed to this movie, where he's growing and learning exactly yeah, yeah, trying, which is what you want in a movie you want characters to grow from one point. You know you don't want him just to be the same stupid man.
Speaker 2:Boy, I go for no, I but you just want him to go through a similar journey and, you know, be triumphant. Hansel has not become an action superhero, for no reason whatsoever.
Speaker 1:Hansel goes to the sexy spa where there's a couple of sexy ladies, and then all these other characters keep showing up, including a rabbi, just so funny. And they're playing, they're playing love to love you baby, and and then his orgy bus in and, you know, catches him in the act of cheating on them when they're pregnant. Yeah, one of them, and they're Ariana Grande.
Speaker 2:Okay, which? That's the one that like walks out right.
Speaker 1:Well, she was the leather one in the very second girl to show up, which was, like you know, one.
Speaker 2:I know when she's leaving and she has like a moment with one of the orgy people. I was like, oh, I think I, I think that's all right, that was just for a second.
Speaker 1:And so you know, he's all there's like a, a pygmy hippo, which is not mudang but like Poudang, and he's all like, let me explain. Let me explain it's Kiefer Sutherland, so he's not having it.
Speaker 2:So good, kiefer just crushes. It.
Speaker 1:So then they all leave and then Willie Nelson comes out of the back because I don't know, I guess he went in the back and it was just very funny. Willie Nelson is part of the second orgy situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when he said something about not being done with somebody, I don't know what it was Some quick joke, but that's the thing about it.
Speaker 1:They do not sit on their jokes and they do not make you know we're going to let you see everybody. No, they're like if you miss it it's gone. We're moving and grooving.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is like a good. It's one of those like we're aiming for a repeat viewing because you don't, you won't see everything the first time. But the unfortunate thing for them is that nobody ever watched a second time because the movie sucked.
Speaker 1:It is so funny. Now we go up. Hansel goes up on the thing and does who am I? And then Katy Perry does who am I from a different one? And then Neil deGrasse Tyson, who I personally hate, does his Really. And it's so funny, oh my God.
Speaker 2:Because he's so high and mighty. What don't you like about him?
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's like one of those guys and he picks fights with people. Oh yeah, and they're just really stupid. It's like there's plenty of people to pick fights with. He always picks these weird dumb. I don't know all of the fights he picks but the ones I ever seem to see are just like what is wrong with?
Speaker 2:you. Why are we doing this?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just curious.
Speaker 1:I laughed. I thought it was very funny. Okay, are we going to do the thing where we figure out the whole thing? No, we do that next. Okay, so Valentina. It talks about how they're trying to find the fountain of youth, to get the youth milk. Somehow, we end up at this basilica. There's a robe man. They followed another confessional Boom. It is Sting and he sets. He lays out what the actual plot of the movie is, which is it was Adam and Eve and then Steve who was the original supermodel, and so, for all this time, the blood of Steve and, more importantly, his heart, is the fountain of youth, and the pop stars have protected Steve for all this time.
Speaker 2:You're dumb. I don't like it. I don't like the plot Of the movie.
Speaker 1:Okay, you ready for the joke that you thought was great Tony?
Speaker 2:I mean, you try, lay it on me, let's see.
Speaker 1:And Hansel Asks yeah, but do you Really have sex For ten hours?
Speaker 2:Oh no, that was. That was a good bit. That's fun little. And then he goes Fifteen.
Speaker 1:Was that what he said? I think I was writing it down so I missed that.
Speaker 2:That's what Sting shakes his head, no, and then goes 15. That's good, that's a nice little bit.
Speaker 1:Ah, Tony, there's no more jokes. Oh yeah, there's another joke. Oh, there's another joke.
Speaker 2:I didn't laugh out loud. It's funny you're thinking about it because I was so mad that I wasn't laughing.
Speaker 1:They go back to the orphanage the orphanage is completely empty. There's wind blowing through it. They find a wig. They're playing Relax, don't Do it. So now we're going to have to go to the fashion prison because they figured out that this is all Mugatu's plan. Somehow, valentina, we set up that she was a bikini model, but she couldn't transition into fashion because her boobs were too big.
Speaker 2:Why? Why does she have to be a model? Why? What is that?
Speaker 1:And then Hansel does Somebody's dead. And then Hansel does a whole thing Like yeah, they're dead and buried, there's probably only two teeth left His wife. So Hansel is like dude, you're dead and buried, there's probably only two teeth left.
Speaker 2:Oh, his wife. So Hansel is like dude, you should go for this. And Zoolander's like with Matilda, still warm in the grave, and he's like warm, she's been dead for years, there's probably nothing left.
Speaker 1:A couple of teeth. Another thing. Another thing she's basically the cryptkeeper. Crypt, yeah, so good. So another thing she's basically the cryptkeeper. So good, so funny. Derek goes in alone. He's walking. That's so funny. They do a couple. They do a Mimsy Hammer parachute joke. We do a joke about members only jackets with John Malkovich not sure why it was John. And then here we have Mugatu in this giant room and there's this big post in the middle and there's this giant long chain. When he walks forward and the chain goes clink, clink, clinkink, clink. It starts, starts going to its full length.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, it was so funny oh my god, I loved it so much.
Speaker 1:I'm glad you enjoyed it then he he makes zoolander tea with his feet, because he his arms are tied up, so gross and then he's like, oh, oh, I've got an itch.
Speaker 1:And then we kind of go back and forth a couple of times, cause he wants Derek to. Derek's like, well, I'll scratch it for you, but maybe you're trying to trick me. And then we go. We go back and forth and of course he's trying to trick him. Derek goes to scratch his scratch, he gets bitten by Mugatu, and then Mugatu spins the chain around and Derek's all tied up. And then Mugatu's like, well, I'll let you go, but only if you let me go, but then I won't hurt you, or something. He does this whole bargaining thing and basically ends up chaining up Zoolander because he's so stupid and Mugatu is free.
Speaker 2:You see a skip over the masks, the entire point of his escape plan. You made the funniest part of the entire movie, oh no. It's so funny.
Speaker 1:He then does a whole thing where we have this montage of him using his feet to make masks, and then he puts the mask. He puts the Mugatu mask on Zoolander. He puts the mask. It puts the mugatu mask on zoolander. He puts the zoolander mask on him and then we see the mask. Don't he talk about what the mask looks?
Speaker 2:like. It's the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. It looks I don't even know how to explain it. It's like half paper mache. It's terrifying. It doesn't look anything right and the whole bit is he can walk out because male models are somehow the security guards at the prison. It's all so stupid. It's so frustrating, because this is not the first movie at all, and it's a slap in the face. Let me tell you why.
Speaker 2:It's a slap in the face to fans of the first one, because there's this wonderful scene in the first one where they're like we have to infiltrate this building Me and Han, zoolander and Hansel and he's like they'll be looking for us, but they won't be looking for not us. And so they take a tiny compact full of like four makeups and they go in as two different people, like it's literally different actors. Full of like four makeups and they go in as two different people, like it's literally different actors. And that's very funny because he's so good with makeup. So this is like the op, the slap in the face where it's like okay, but instead we're gonna make it look like the ugliest thing in the world and somehow it works. It's so funny frustrating, no, it was just frustrating, so funny.
Speaker 2:Visually, yes, the masks looked funny In the world of the movie. I hate it.
Speaker 1:I absolutely hate it Because we pitched this whole thing where he's basically made these perfect masks and then they look like shit.
Speaker 2:See, but that still works.
Speaker 1:See, Tony, it's the same joke, but it's inverted.
Speaker 2:It's an inverted joke and everything about this is the opposite of the first one. That's that, and it's just a slap in the face.
Speaker 1:They inverted the joke you should find it funnier, because they surprise. I find it offensive you want and that's the whole thing is you will watch the entirety of lost, all seven seasons. How many times have you watched the entirety of all seven?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, several times. I would say, like less than 10, more than three somewhere in there, and you will, during your lifetime, probably watch that at least 10 or more times oh, for sure a bunch more times it's great show, perfect show and that is, and that there's two different kinds of fandom.
Speaker 1:There's fandom that that just want to roll into that warm blanket and have it, have it go back to that same experience. And then there's people that are like me, that are looking for something that's actually interesting.
Speaker 2:A better example to really prove your point, dan, is Friends. How many, how many times have I watched Friends in my life? Like I don't know. I would say I've watched it cover to cover 30 times. Oh really, wow, probably. Like it's one of those shows that when we're just like sitting there we're like, yeah, we need something. I've been with anything. We'll just watch like five episodes of friends. You watch it before bed, like there was, there was, a period of my life where I watched it before two to three episodes before bed every single night and you would just cycle through it, cycle through it Because it is. It's like going home, it's comfortable, but I still find it funny. It's not like I watch it and I don't laugh now because I know everything that happens. I still find it funny, even though I know the jokes.
Speaker 1:Shannon, it puts on King of the Hill all the time.
Speaker 2:Has she watched the new one? It's great, is it good? I it's on my list of things, but I I never finished the original and I feel like I have to watch all 14 seasons or whatever the original, I don't know no I know that I don't need to, but that's my brain is like what if I miss something? What if I miss a reference that they do to an episode that I didn't see? It doesn't matter, because it's so well written.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I believe it. I do they're not. Maybe they are. I will say they aren't as tight as those old ones, just because they just they had to ramp up and make 10. And you're just. You're never going to be as tight as the fifth season of a show like that, where the writers are just like. They know what it is. They know how to get to the right feels. You know yeah, they get to the feels with this one, but not as you know they don't. It doesn't hit as hard and as long but, they just.
Speaker 1:But the fact that it's even like you know on that, you know what I mean like that's impressive it is incredibly impressive that they, yeah, they not that it's exactly a formula but they, they, they have replicated the formula to 90 to 95 and that's pretty damn good still made it, you know, be able to exist now, right it's just right, like as opposed to zoolander 2, which used 0% of the formula.
Speaker 1:Don't agree with the formula. He takes the helicopter. There's a guy who gets in the helicopter, there's his assistant. He's like where's my goddamn latte? And then you know she throws it back on him for some reason. It's very funny.
Speaker 2:All of that's nods to the first one, but it's not as funny in this.
Speaker 1:He goes to the Etaz building Hansel has stowed. You're like, oh, where's Hansel? Because Hansel stowed away on the helicopter. He's like, why isn't he on the bottom of it? He has stowed away on the top of the propeller. See, Tony you do not know that's coming.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing I don't know it's coming Because it shouldn't come in a Zoolander movie. This is not a Zoolander movie and I can't get past it. I can't get past it In a movie that is naked gun. Right, I would find that funny, but that's not what this is. This is zoolander 2.
Speaker 1:It's the sequel to a different movie we set up his uh, his uh, athleticism of uh doing uh yoga stuff.
Speaker 2:We set it up in the beginning um, here's alexandra.
Speaker 1:They do a weird kiss. Don atari's there they kill don atari.
Speaker 2:they do do a weird kiss by the Atari's there. They kill Don Atari. They do do a weird kiss, by the way it's gross.
Speaker 1:That's like a Saturday Night Live thing, that's like a.
Speaker 2:Saturday Night Live. Thing. I know, and I don't like it. I don't think it belongs in this movie and I don't like it.
Speaker 1:I mean, if Kristen Wiig was just playing Kristen Wiig and having problems with all this fashion, it would have been beyond hilarious.
Speaker 1:Yes, I agree with that, but her just doing a weird voice and sort of not doing. I mean, she literally doesn't do anything else, she just freezes herself and does this and you're like you have taken one of the greatest physical comedians and you've removed the physicality from her, unphysicalized her. Yeah, you know, you got to get her moving around. If you're going to do a Donatella Versace, just have her do Donatella Versace, which would be very funny, just go. You know, make it over the top. Sure, it feels restrained.
Speaker 2:Because if this was the first one, that's what they would have done, dan, because it was more about critiquing the fashion world. Okay, and this one thinks it's an action movie and it's stupid.
Speaker 1:So this is a bad carryover from the first movie. That's why it didn't work. Weird kiss Kills him. They're going to kill the kid tonight. Junior's in this weird room.
Speaker 2:It's this weird plastic room, weird candy room.
Speaker 1:There's a pasta bar and there's a lard bar. And who is it?
Speaker 2:I think Hansel is looking in there and he says he's spying and he's on the phone With Zoolander and he's like telling him what he sees and he's like he's fine, he's got candy, he's got I don't know, he's got lard. So telling him what he sees, he's like he's fine.
Speaker 1:He's got candy. He's got I don't know. He's got lard. Yeah, zoolander and Valentina swim back, because she's an incredible swimmer, because she was a swimsuit model. Okay.
Speaker 2:Which is not what swimsuit models do. By the way, they don't swim. If she was an Olympic swimmer, then that's a good joke, dan, but this doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:Okay, now we're going to go into some part. That's really funny that you're going to find really funny. So he's trying to free the kid and the kid is, like you knew, my mom. And then Hansel starts talking about having sex with her.
Speaker 2:Oh the sex yeah.
Speaker 1:You didn't find that funny.
Speaker 2:I'm so mad by this point, dan, that I don't know if I can look at it objectively. I don't, because when you say it, that situation is funny, but when I'm watching this movie, I'm like more bad, more nonsense. I hate this movie.
Speaker 1:I don't know. They're talking about the two of them plowing his mom, I believe they had threesomes.
Speaker 2:That was like their thing, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's so rude.
Speaker 2:It is, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1:So they get to the Incrediball, they follow in Anna Wintour, they find Hansel, they see Tommy Hilfiger. They're all here for the sacrifice um which doesn't even make sense to me.
Speaker 2:Dan why are they there?
Speaker 1:oh, because they want to live. Okay, so what? The plot of the movie is that the chosen one, which is der's kid, his blood is a fountain of youth? Well, because he's descended from the original Supermodel. I mean, I understand what you're saying it's nonsense, the joke being is it isn't Derek, it's the kid.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, no, no. So I'm saying why are these fashion icons there?
Speaker 1:Oh, because they want to live forever.
Speaker 2:Why? What does that have to do with fashion? Anybody could be in this room. It has nothing to do. And the reason why I'm saying this is because In the first, one the whole bit is. They're all trying to kill this guy because he's getting rid of their cheap child labor. It has something to do with the fashion world. This could be about any group of people that want to live forever. It has nothing to do with fashion.
Speaker 2:Why would these fashion moguls be like? Well, we're the only ones that know about the Fountain of Youth. That doesn't make no sense. Okay, here's my pitch. Why don't they make?
Speaker 1:it about something funny like money.
Speaker 2:Agreed. How about that? I agree. Or just make it about child labor laws, because guess what, we're still having problems with that.
Speaker 1:There's truth to that, so somebody reiterates the whole plot. Okay, so somebody throws the blade at Derek. Derek tries to use Magnum to stop. The blade sticks him in the face.
Speaker 2:Great, and this is my next laugh of the movie. It's been about an hour since I've laughed, but this was because this is a callback to the first movie. This is me saying, me saying hey, remember when I did this in the first movie.
Speaker 1:well, now the opposite's happening, and that's funny they all start chanting blood of steve, and then mugato explains that it's all bullshit and it's he, he's, he's going to kill them all for some reason. Why is he killing them all?
Speaker 2:I don't know I have no idea. He explains it.
Speaker 1:I don't remember what it was it's.
Speaker 2:it's about revenge, because they all let him sit in prison for 10 years or something. That's what it was it was revenge.
Speaker 1:It's a revenge story. He calls for the silks, the silks come down and then he starts doing you know silk wrap thing, which is very silly. Why what?
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you left me all to die and he's like my big issue is that I hate you all. Yeah, Then he's going to throw the floor opens up. He's going to throw a bomb in there In hot lava, dan.
Speaker 2:What is happening You're just skating over the stuff as if it does Like this is nonsense. It doesn't make a lick of sense in any world, including this world. The floor just opens up and it's hot lava under it and he's going to throw a bomb and somehow. That what is going on here? Oh, I hate this movie.
Speaker 1:Oh, he throws a knife and Hansel falls. I don't know what that was about. And somebody said oh, and Hansel falls.
Speaker 2:I don't know what that was about. And somebody said Hansel is like hey, throw me the knife, zoolander, and Zoolander throws it into his leg, just like they did an Ace Ventura when nature calls in the nineties.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, I call back to that funny movie Like where he comes out of a rhino's anus.
Speaker 2:That is a great scene.
Speaker 1:And then we have a girl fight. It turns out that I think Alexandra Was actually. What's her name's character? Mila Jovovich's?
Speaker 2:character yeah Mila from the first one.
Speaker 1:I think she pulled Because it was Alexandra. Right, I think so.
Speaker 2:It was Kristen Wiig. Yes, then yes.
Speaker 1:Kristen Wiig turns into Mila Jovovich and then she fights with Penelope Cruz and then, you know, derek's kid is just like, uh, cool. Then Tommy Hilfiger looks over and says Tommy, likey, you just love that.
Speaker 2:That was so funny. No, it was creepy because, if you remember, at the time I thought he was a bad guy, so I thought maybe we were perpetuating the fact that he's a skeez. I could have been wrong on that, I don't know. I feel a little guilty about it because now I don't know if he's a bad guy or not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Sting shows up and we find out that Sting is Hansel's father. Synchronicity callback to the first movie. This Hansel's father Synchronicity callback to the first movie. This is the greatest legacy sequel of all time. And then Mugato's going to blow the thing up and Derek starts to zap it but he can't do it. And then the kid starts doing the face and he's doing zap yeah because this is not a thing, dan.
Speaker 2:They don't have telekinesis, okay, yeah, that's what they did in the first movie. No, the first one, first of all, is a joke. Okay, and it's not. He doesn't control it with his mind. His look is so beautiful that it stops it in its tracks. Those are different things. He's not you, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:The kid does El Nino, it's red and they throw the bomb at Mugato. Mugato blows up and he becomes a glitter bomb.
Speaker 2:There's glitter everywhere I did like the glitter bomb.
Speaker 1:That was a fun touch. The orgy is there. We find out that Kiefer Sutherland has lost his baby.
Speaker 2:Oh my, God, that's so good. I guess kicking in the door was a bad idea. So stupid, it's just so dumb. But kudos to Kiefer for like fully committing to the bit Unreal.
Speaker 1:And that's the thing you can really see is when you have like a real actor, a real comedic actor, do something.
Speaker 2:Yes. They can do things that is the difference between the happy gilmore cameos and this movie is like you got a keifer in there that's just given 120. It's just like why are you here? I love it. Somebody kisses I think oh, he wants to.
Speaker 2:He wants to kiss valentina and the kid says okay and then the ghost wife says okay she says it's okay, even though if you think about it, if I was Ben Siller's wife, I'd be like, maybe don't kiss Penelope Cruz on the movie see, but that would be, that would be a good joke.
Speaker 1:They didn't think of that one she should have said yeah they should have gone with that. And then everybody's, there's a pool party, something pool party.
Speaker 2:They do a lava pool party.
Speaker 1:Oh, a lava pool party and they're about to jump and they jump into the lava. And then in the next scene they're all burnt and then it's a stupid joke, stupid joke. And we do a bunch of newscasts which sort of wrap things up.
Speaker 2:And that's the end of the movie, the end of the incredibly funny, terrible, terrible, terrible sequel to zoolander one the two problems with this couple, problems with the movie kristen wigg, way too little mila jovovich, you know well.
Speaker 2:So here's my thing and I just honestly like just get rid of kristen wigg, just have it be mia again. Like she's great in the first one. We loved her in the first one. We loved her in the first one. Just have her be that character the whole time. We don't need that surprise twist. That's not who gives a shit yeah, it wasn't a surprise. It wasn't a twist yeah, and that's it.
Speaker 1:Those are the problems with the movie.
Speaker 2:No well, that's wrong. I do find it interesting because here's how I feel about it. Right? How do you feel I'm comparing it to Happy Gilmore again? Happy Gilmore 2, not a great movie, a perfect sequel. Zoolander 2 a horrible, awful sequel, but a fine movie by itself.
Speaker 1:So like they're just the exact opposites of each other in my mind, and one of them is better than the other, and it's called Happy Gilmore 2 one of them, the filmmaker, was artistically proud of what they did, but figured out that that probably was not the path to spend their life on, and has gone on to make some really great stuff like Severance, Come on. Made Severance, which is one of the greatest television shows of all time.
Speaker 1:I'm going to stick with the guy that goes on to make one of the greatest television shows of all time and has already put in. What three seasons Are there? Three seasons of severance, or is it just two?
Speaker 2:yeah, three, three, three three, two or three seasons. I think it's three. It's mad. Now I feel like I'm losing my mind.
Speaker 1:I know I'm always losing my mind um, and they're working on another one, so, and I so maybe they're working.
Speaker 2:Okay, there's been two seasons.
Speaker 1:They're working on the third, working on the third season yeah, because the first season ended with we find out that she's who she is and then the second season. We're dealing with that and getting back to a I mean not a neutral point, but at least a point of more equilibrium between all the characters.
Speaker 2:And I'm going the opposite way. I'm going with the guy who had so much care and compassion for his fans that he delivered something they'd enjoy, instead of thinking he knows better than the people that love his art. How about that for an ego, ben stiller? And when? When?
Speaker 1:jack and jill 2 comes out or hubie halloween 2 comes out. We will be watching those and they will still be unwatchable garbage. I mean that's the thing I will say happy gilmore 2 is not unwatchable garbage. And I mean that's the thing I will say Happy Gilmore 2 is not unwatchable garbage. And when I put up the post I did not say anything. I actually didn't say anything bad about the movie.
Speaker 2:I know you didn't. I saw that. I thought that was very kind of you and that wasn't for you.
Speaker 1:That was because I just don't think it was a very funny movie. But I understand that people liked it. It wasn't actively against the world. There are movies that are actively against the world, you know think Eternals and whatnot? Not that Eternals wasn't against the world, eternals was just kind of bad.
Speaker 2:Just a poorly made film.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I went to Netflix and you know they always have the new movies and they had this movie called freelance and I was like what is this movie? I started you never saw freelance. I started watching. I was like it's Alison Brie and John Cena. I started watching it. I'm like okay, okay, yeah, okay, we did do this movie, we did this movie, we did this movie. Okay, I was. I was like I thought we did this together. Okay, thank god, we absolutely did it. But it's like we did it when it was on peacock, that's what it was. We did it on peacock and now it's over on netflix. And, yeah, you were just like, oh man, and I, I, I remember I read what, what we, what I said about it on there and I was like it's a, it's a pretty good trick to make John Cena charmless.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you said that. One of us said it during our review. Could have been either one, because it's a true statement. It's the truest statement that's ever been said.
Speaker 1:It's so sad. You're just like watching it again and you're like, yeah, I've watched this and you didn't take anything from from it.
Speaker 2:That's a movie you literally took nothing from neither of us even remember like you brought it up and I was like, huh, I definitely saw it and I thought it was for this, but I have no idea. That's how little this movie does for anyone. Dan didn't even remember he watched it until he was watching it and it was like, ah, we've done this movie. And when you brought it up I wasn't like yeah, we did, we did that. I was like, did we do it? So not a good start.
Speaker 1:I had to watch a good 10, 12 minutes of it before I was like, oh okay, okay, okay, here comes, what's his name, Plays his buddy. Christian Slater plays his buddy who's running a? Mercenary thing and they're going back after the same guy running a mercenary thing and they're going back after the same guy. And that was the one where the, the, the dude, the, the dick, the south american dictator guy was.
Speaker 1:The good part of the movie was the best part of the movie we were just like this it's all coming back, this guy's great yeah, you know there's those movies that are just like oh, problematic yeah, not neither of these movies, happy or zoolander 2, neither of them are that.
Speaker 2:You know, like they're both. I I think that this so happy gilmore is in like the 60, I think, right critic score and this is like 20. I don't think that that's right. I'll say that.
Speaker 1:The numbers on this movie are so wrong.
Speaker 2:I hate this movie so I get like I get fans Doing it, but I mean the critic score of Happy Gilmore I think is in the 60s, right? I think they're both like 60% and this is like 20%, and that's what I don't Understand is like they're not. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I have the feeling. Well, I think movies when they got judged by Rotten Tomatoes back then, it was a different world.
Speaker 2:That's probably true.
Speaker 1:All the machinations that occur in the world are very different than they were what nine years ago, because this was 2016 or something, oh yeah, 2016.
Speaker 2:So that's nine years ago.
Speaker 1:And things are very different and critics are different and everything about it is very different.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I think the thing with Zoolander is so many people like this movie means something to them.
Speaker 2:Zoolander is a perfect film. It's a stupid, terrible movie, but it's so good and Skarsgård is in it, which I did not remember, Alexander Skarsgård, and he's so funny in the first one, he shows up in this one too. He's Adam in the Adam.
Speaker 1:Eve and.
Speaker 2:Steve scene. He plays Adam and I was like oh, thank you for bringing him back.
Speaker 1:I think it said Andy Dick was somewhere in this movie.
Speaker 2:Really, I don't remember that I didn't see him, yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Now we're even I don't know how we got even on two movies that are very not similar. They really are that's sort of that's bad either. Not similar, but that's sort of well. It's two movies that like bring up a visceral reaction for very particular reasons in both of us. So I mean, actually my main reason is because I want Adam Sandler to be a good filmmaker and I wish he would just.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I wish.
Speaker 2:But I mean, he makes good, he is in good stuff, and when he applies himself I think he's great, but I just, I just don't think he's personally like.
Speaker 1:That's not him, that's not me, Like that's not who he is Billy Madison.
Speaker 2:He is what like. That's what he likes. And just the fact that it didn't really work because in that same interview he was like I just want to bring to the world what people like Eddie Murphy brought to me, like that's what I want to give to the world, and you know, the world didn't seem to care that much and maybe the Hubie Halloween is the movie he really wants to make. I think it is, I think that's what he likes, and then you know, the world just doesn't necessarily see it that way.
Speaker 1:I don't know I enjoy him.
Speaker 2:I love him and I wish him the best. I hope he's doing okay.
Speaker 1:I think he's doing fine, because I think he insulates himself from the discourse.
Speaker 2:I think that's what he smartly does, and you know because it's hard being a creator even if you're.
Speaker 1:Adam Sandler, who has all the money in the world. You can get stung by the situation and completely change how you go about making your art because of criticism, which is really interesting. You got all the money you got, but you're still going to suffer the slings and arrows of those that would critique you yeah, not me, adam, I'm with you, sandman. But you are like him.
Speaker 2:I am like him you are fragile like that. I was actually going to bring it up, but I was like I'm not going to talk about myself when. I make my YouTube videos and they get downvotes, even if it's just a couple. I I'm like what the what happened, don't you like? I want to talk to those people and that's the wrong reaction. I want to be like well, tell me what you didn't like about it, like what is it about, and I'll fix it in myself. And that's the wrong attitude.
Speaker 1:So like he's doing it right, but I'm like I still think, he still suffers, but he, he does everything, he can not, not, not to not to limit the amount of uh incoming that he suffers.
Speaker 2:Yeah because you got it, because it does you know, it does hurt. Because you're like this is what I enjoy, this is what I think is funny, this is what I want to do. And then if people don't like it, you're like, oh, you don't like me, like it's very personal, and when you do someone else's project it doesn't feel that way. Like when I'm doing like a sketch that you wrote oh not that I'm saying they're bad or anything but like if I do a sketch you wrote and someone were to say like hey, that wasn't very funny, but like, oh yeah, well, cool, that's fucking dance.
Speaker 1:Like it's not me yeah, like I can't do it not me, I did, I did everything necessary.
Speaker 2:He sucks but even the opposite is true too. So like when people like, oh, that was really fun, I was like, oh, yeah, well, thank you, but I'm just doing someone else's vision like that's. So it's. It's very easy for me to be like, well, that's not, that's not me, that's not my true self. So when you put yourself into something and people don't like it, it's, it's much, it's like that one sketch you did for me and you fucked it up.
Speaker 2:I got very angry afterwards I still think about it all the time, because you're so fucking mad at me, like I wrote this for you and I was like, but you didn't tell me what.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of facets.
Speaker 2:I was supposed to. It's the horror one where we, like, fell into something. I was supposed to be this jock guy and I totally play. I. I made a guess at what you wanted and after we were done you were like well, that wasn't it at all well that's.
Speaker 2:That's when I learned you have to direct people, even the people that you know can do 100 because you know it's like I can't read your mind there just because you wrote it with do me doing something in my. I can't just read your mind. I love it. I was so angry, you were so mad at me. It's happened twice.
Speaker 1:It's happened two times to us and with Robot.
Speaker 2:And with Robot? Yeah, because I was playing a fucking Robot. Nobody told me I wasn't supposed to play a Robot.
Speaker 1:That is. You know. That is how we all learn. I love it. We're moving on, moving on, Moving right. That is how we all learn. I love it. We're moving on, moving on, moving right along. It's been a healing experience. I enjoyed myself. Tony did not. That's the way I like it.
Speaker 2:That's what I like. I think I've had a fun two weeks. I've had a fun two weeks with you.
Speaker 1:It's been a roller coaster, it's been different than previous episodes.
Speaker 2:Something new, 200 episodes in.
Speaker 1:I only have gotten mad at you one other time. I don't remember what it was, though you liked something else. That was terrible.
Speaker 2:And I was like what is wrong with you? That's always my favorite. What is wrong with you? What is the matter with you, Gets me going every time. That's so funny.
Speaker 1:Okay, now we're talking about something we like. I've been watching this guy on YouTube called Big Joel and he's like one of those video essayists that does stuff Sure Big, joel Big. Joel, he's like this little Jewish guy.
Speaker 2:I don't know. First of all, that's very funny.
Speaker 1:That's a great bit Big Joel, I think he's a little Jewish guy, I think, so he's quite funny, quite crazy Sure, and he talks about things that he loves and hates. He did it two hours on Netflix, which is really funny. I'm like, good God, this guy did two. No, maybe he did two hours and 15 minutes. It's like we do almost two hours on a goddamn Happy Gilmore 2.
Speaker 2:You're right about that.
Speaker 1:He did it on the entirety of Netflix's live action Avatar based on the cartoon. And he loves the cartoon, just like.
Speaker 2:I do who doesn't? And then he watched?
Speaker 1:Did you watch the whole Avatar of the Cartoon Tony?
Speaker 2:I sure did not.
Speaker 1:Nope, go watch some more Friends, better way to spend your time.
Speaker 2:Friends, Psych and Supernatural. I hit one of those every day. It doesn't matter, One of them has to happen.
Speaker 1:But he just destroys and shows how all their changes are just bad choices. And he shows them through actual, you know, showing the clip of what happened in the real one and why we began to care about the characters and how the change makes it so we don't care about the characters. And it is amazing how on a good thing you care, you know it's on a real, real, mostly TV shows. How they draw you in and make you care about the characters more than anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what we like.
Speaker 1:Big Joel, big Joel, love that name. What do you got? I'm a big fan. What do you got, tony?
Speaker 2:Well, actually it ties into something you were talking about which is our good friend, friend of the show, John Cena. I wish.
Speaker 1:Don't let Shannon hear you say that you don't know him.
Speaker 2:He's not your friend. First of all, we'll wait till I tell my John Cena story because, she's dead wrong.
Speaker 2:No, she's not wrong. She's not wrong at all. I wish she was my friend Anyhow. So SummerSlam was over this weekend WWE SummerSlam and he is on his retirement tour. He took a break and he's come back and he's doing one. Last year in the WEA he had a match with Cody Rhodes which was fucking awesome. The stuff that he's doing at he's 50, I think, is unreal. It makes me so embarrassed to be myself at 40. I can barely get off the couch. This guy's flying off the rope unbelievable, uh. But they had like a really nice moment. I cried. There's like they do like a handshake because he's kind of passing the reins down. You know like it's. It's a beautiful moment and I just started thinking about how much I love john cena and like what a genuinely good guy he is, and I got to meet john a couple of times at yahoo throughout my work at yahoo and the first time he came in I was probably 10 years ago, close to that like he.
Speaker 2:He's just. You know, he's a big guy, but he was one of the first people that had ever come in that introduced himself to the crew. Oh wow, generally these stars come, they sit in their seat, they talk to the host, which is fine. I totally get it. That's their job. He went around the room and was like hey, I'm John Nice to meet you. What do you do? It was fucking unreal. I was like who is this guy? And then he was so charming and so nice. He came back two years later and he was like hey, you were here last time I was here to me and I was like the fact, the fact he had.
Speaker 2:No, he doesn't know who I am doesn't know anything other than, like he knows my face, recognized me and he was like you were here last time and I was like this is a genuinely good dude and I, just, I love him. And so, watching the summer slam, like he teared up a little, I cried, cried. I was like I, I love him, I just love him, I. And then, you know, a movie like that just crushes my heart, cause, yeah, you suck the soul out of John Cena. That's hard to do, yeah.
Speaker 1:You can go. Hopefully he's got a nice. You can go watch freelance and have that ruin.
Speaker 2:It's ruined everything. Uh yeah, summerslam was great and he's wonderful and I hope he enjoys his retirement.
Speaker 1:Well, that shows you the power of movies is you can take somebody that is the most charming person in the world and just ruin them.
Speaker 2:And if that's?
Speaker 1:their first movie. That might be their last movie.
Speaker 2:Amen to that. I do need to see his new movie with Idris Elbaba Heads of State or something like that.
Speaker 1:We're not doing it this week.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I don't think it's going to be a hate watching movie, I think it's going to be very good. That would be good. I hope so.
Speaker 1:This movie is one of those movies that just came out and was rocking the 0% on Rotten Tomatoes for a while. My understanding it has moved up to 3%.
Speaker 2:Oh wow. Who's doing that? Probably people, Was it Amazon?
Speaker 1:Yes, they probably paid some PR firm to just give us something.
Speaker 2:It's just Jeff Bezos over there just being like, like, like, like like.
Speaker 1:This is the new movie War of the Worlds.
Speaker 2:Woo Ice Cube Love this guy of the Worlds.
Speaker 1:Woo Ice Cube Love this guy, is it just Ice Cube? Is Jeffrey Wright in this, or is it just Ice Cube looking?
Speaker 2:like Jeffrey Wright. Honestly, I have no idea. I don't know who's in it. I haven't even watched the trailer yet. A friend of the show, todd, sent something to Dan and I and that's the first I'd even heard of this movie and I was like what is going on? We have to, dan and I, and that's the first I'd even heard of this movie and I was like what is going on? We have to watch it.
Speaker 1:I had already heard some very, very negative things.
Speaker 2:I've seen some very negative things about it.
Speaker 1:I think it's like an Amazon original or something right.
Speaker 2:It sure is yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I guess, the premise is it's kind of like watching a single person Zoom call. It's just some single person talking into the screen for you know, an hour and a half hour 40 minutes explaining the war of the worlds happening behind them outside of his room, I guess, right I think, I think it might be multiple people. Maybe he calls some people.
Speaker 2:I don't know I don't think, it's just one guy doing, doing the full hour and a half but, do you think it was like cube just being like well, I don't want to leave my house, so if we could do the whole movie from this chair, I'm in.
Speaker 1:Well and kind of like you know we're kind of past the COVID lockdown thing.
Speaker 2:We can leave, we can go outside now.
Speaker 1:Rider Strike is over, we can kind of start doing stuff again like normal movies.
Speaker 2:I'm very excited to see this it's and stuff again like normal movies. I'm very excited to see this oh man, it's going to be a good week.
Speaker 1:War of the Worlds baby.
Speaker 2:I feel like I should go back and watch the Tom Cruise one just so I get a baseline of what the actual story is. I never read the story. I guess I should maybe do that.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter, I mean Because that's what that HG Wells right, it's done fairly first person-y, and that's it is.
Speaker 1:I understand why they thought that they could do this. You know sort of approach.
Speaker 2:It does make sense, okay, interesting.
Speaker 1:Because, as I remember it, the story is a little bit diary-like, you know, so it's sort of like and then. I went here and you know this is what happened here. It's not a group you know it's not like he spends a lot of time around a group of people At one point.
Speaker 1:He ends up hiding in, like this farmhouse, under this farmhouse, and he's there with this crazy guy and there's sort of you know, interaction with the two of them. But most of the time it's it's a, it's a solo story. You know it's like here.
Speaker 1:I go, so I I I understand the impetus for trying to do it like this. You know, it's kind of like when they did the whatever those, those movies, you know where they're, the found footage ones, you, you know, with the Blair Witch, that one too, but the one with the big alien that's walking around crushing New York City, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:John Goodman's in one of them, cloverfield. Yes, you know that first Cloverfield movie.
Speaker 1:you're like, okay, I understand what this conceit comes from and you know a few people are going to be able to pull off a movie like that and make it watchable because the first one was enjoyable.
Speaker 2:But it's not like we need this all the time. Okay, yeah, I'm pumped, I'm ready. I'm ready to watch this movie.
Speaker 1:If you like what you see, give us a thumbs up, subscribe or leave us a comment. Those are three things you could do. Our numbers have been a little better lately Over in the 40s and 50s.
Speaker 2:It's probably because everyone was agreeing with me on Happy Gilmore 2.
Speaker 1:Hitting some fuse. You want to say goodbye, Tony.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's do it. So come back next week. We're watching War of the Worlds. Goodbye everybody.