Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Amsterdam: Or how Taylor Swift steals the show!
When three friends—a doctor with a glass eye, an African-American lawyer, and a mysterious nurse-turned-artist—become entangled in a murder investigation in 1930s New York, they uncover a sinister conspiracy that reaches to the highest levels of American power. What begins as a quest to clear their names transforms into a fight against a fascist plot to overthrow the U.S. government.
"Amsterdam" represents one of the most perplexing cinematic experiments of recent years. Christian Bale delivers a fully committed, physically transformed performance as Dr. Burt Berendsen, a WWI veteran who creates unconventional pain medications for fellow soldiers while sporting a prosthetic eye that refuses to stay in place. Alongside John David Washington's stoic Harold Woodman and Margot Robbie's enigmatic Valerie, they form an unlikely trio whose bond was forged in the trenches of Europe and the artistic paradise of Amsterdam.
The film attempts to tackle weighty themes—fascism's rise, America's flirtation with authoritarianism, racism, and the corrupting influence of wealth—but repeatedly undermines itself with jarring tonal shifts. One moment we're witnessing the horror of war wounds, the next we're watching Mike Myers and Michael Shannon engage in bird-watching espionage comedy. Taylor Swift makes a memorable appearance only to meet an abrupt and darkly comedic end that epitomizes the film's bizarre approach to storytelling.
What makes "Amsterdam" particularly frustrating is the glimpse of greatness hidden within its meandering narrative. Based on the real-life "Business Plot"—a legitimate 1933 conspiracy by wealthy industrialists to overthrow FDR's government—the film had the potential to deliver a timely warning about democracy's fragility. Instead, it buries this fascinating history under quirky character studies and surrealist digressions that never cohere into a satisfying whole.
Robert De Niro brings gravitas as the decorated general these conspirators hope to manipulate, while Rami Malek and Anya Taylor-Joy deliver unsettling performances as the wealthy siblings with disturbing agendas. The cast's commitment can't rescue a script that constantly loses focus, jumping between 1918 flashbacks and the 1933 main storyline without allowing either timeline room to breathe.
What could have been a powerful historical thriller or an effective period comedy instead lands uncomfortably between genres, testing audiences' patience with its 134-minute runtime and convoluted storyline. Has a film ever left you more bewildered by the gap between its potential and execution?
Written Lovingly by AI
Be our friend!
Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech
And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT
You know my wife has never watched any of the movies that we've ever done.
Speaker 2:And on the flip side, my wife has watched almost every single one of them.
Speaker 1:If I was your wife, I would hate me and I'd hate you. I'd hate both of us.
Speaker 2:She hates me more than she hates you. Does that help at all? I don't think I've ever told her that Shannon doesn't watch the movies, she might just think that this is like part of the gig.
Speaker 1:Never tell her, she must never know.
Speaker 2:She must never know, she must never know. The secret dies with me. Well, all I gotta say is yeah, I've wasted a lot of her time. I know how to pick bad movies.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much. Welcome to Heat Watching with Dan and Tony. I am Dan, I am Tony. Actually, I am Amsterdam.
Speaker 2:And thank you. Good night everybody. That's a good way.
Speaker 1:One more joke than the movie we're doing today Whoa.
Speaker 2:Shots fired. I gotta tell you I laughed really hard at this movie in one part and I rewound it four, maybe five times, just to watch it over and over again. Do you know? Offhand shot in the dark. Do you know which part it is? Nope, because I don't think I left. It is taylor swift getting run over by the car I watched that so many times, dan.
Speaker 2:It is one of the greatest moments I've ever seen. They're just having the conversation and the guy clearly walks up and shoves her and then just runs away. It's a great scene. If that scene was in another well-made movie, wow, that could have been the greatest moment of cinematic history. It's very good.
Speaker 1:Well, at least you picked a thing that they didn't mean to be funny.
Speaker 2:Right, I mean, that's true.
Speaker 1:I mean, they might have thought it was funny too, who knows.
Speaker 2:Somebody probably thought it was funny.
Speaker 1:The funny thing is that is one of the few things I did rewind and watch, just because I kind of was not paying attention. I was like wait what happened? Wait what just happened On this show. We watch a movie, then we talk about the movie. The movies are typically very terrible. This week I picked the movie Amsterdam and, true to form, it's very terrible.
Speaker 2:It's not a great movie, I mean. I think we can both comfortably say that it's not a great movie, the mean.
Speaker 1:I think we can both comfortably say that it's not a great movie. The year is 2022. 2022. The time is two hours and 14 minutes. It could have.
Speaker 2:So long it could have easily, I mean easily shaved a half an hour of this movie with just a little script editing. Yeah, I mean also, I'm going to be fully transparent. I still don't totally understand everything that happened in this movie.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:oh, because it doesn't make any sense that does make me feel a little better. Yeah, I'll tell you that because I understand like the main a story. I think you know what I mean, like with the conspiracy, the murder conspiracy. But then you have like governmental stuff that suddenly came in and you have like that's like their flashback. That is pretty much irrelevant to anything to me. Like there's a lot of side quests on this main journey and I just feel like I got super lost along the way. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it's a. It's a meandering movie. Uh, I w, I was thinking about it. It's a thriller without thrills.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:It's a comedy without intentional laughs.
Speaker 2:Sure, but a one real good laugh Is that on YouTube. I feel like someone's clipped that out and put it on YouTube and it probably has 3 million views.
Speaker 1:It's very funny Lots of actors doing acting that feel like you're watching people in a stage play. That's what I felt it does feel like theater. Yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I agree with that because it's very broad, like very, very broad, and maybe if I was sitting more than five feet away it wouldn't seem so ridiculous, but it it does, because the camera I don't know if you know this, but cameras are you know, they're right here, we're real close. You don't have to be that broad, for us to understand what you're doing so that's what they were doing.
Speaker 1:They were being brought. I mean, they just it didn't feel like there were any emotions in the movie. There were no emotions in the movie. There were no emotions in the movie, but there were people kind of moving their bodies, like there were emotions or something I don't know.
Speaker 2:And weird Christian Bale very weird guy. I mean. Listen, a lot of people are trying things. We'll say that I would say there are varying degrees of success, really, but I will also say that one person did not try to do anything, um, and I thought it was really weird. Do you know who that is? No, john david washington is just kind of being himself and I found that we not that that there's anything inherently wrong with that.
Speaker 1:I see what you're saying.
Speaker 2:But you're surrounded by a cast that are all doing things, yes, and you show up to work and you don't do things. Don't you at some point just be like should I be doing things Even if they don't work? Should we be trying something? Because I'm just being myself in 1933, which doesn't make a ton of sense already but I'm like you're surrounded by Christian Bale doing a bunch of stuff.
Speaker 1:I mean he's got, he's got a voice.
Speaker 2:He's got a, he's got a hunch he's. He's doing a lot of stuff right Like, and you can hate it, you can love it, you can feel indifferent, which is pretty much where I am but he's doing a bunch of stuff, and then I mean you've got even like your side characters, you know, like Remy Malek he's doing a bunch of stuff and you're you're at least build third.
Speaker 2:That's like your least billing is third, probably second after Christian Bale, and you're not doing anything. I would just feel like such a fraud. I would show up and be like anything. I would just feel like such a fraud. I would show up and be like man. I should not be in this movie. I don't know what I'm doing. Is he denzel washington's?
Speaker 1:kid, I think so, oh, okay definitely related but is he the kid? He just doesn't have a different name.
Speaker 2:So I was like oh, okay parents, denzel and napalita washington.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, he's their kid huh, okay, well, there it is. Um, yeah, so you know many, many actors that I I love and adore their other projects. Uh, just like what is it? Yeah, the one, the one I going to give you the one positive thing I love this.
Speaker 2:That I'm going to say about this was before.
Speaker 1:Before watching this movie, I was like, oh my God, Mike Myers is in this. He's going to be so terrible, I'm not going to be able to survive it, and not not any more terrible than everybody else.
Speaker 2:No, he fits right in and that's why you know that some people are doing things wrong.
Speaker 1:And I love Mike Myers, else no he fits right in and that's why you know that some people are doing things wrong, and I love mike myers, I love mike myers, but he should be problematic of the last 10 years, is there?
Speaker 2:something you've liked of his in the last 10, 15 years? No, because we did. We watched that show he did on, I did not. You watched the show on netflix or whatever he did on.
Speaker 1:I did not. You watched the show on Netflix or whatever he did, right I?
Speaker 2:think I watched one of them and quit. That was really bad.
Speaker 1:What else has he done? He did the gong show. He was the host of the gong show as a weird British guy or something. Like got all method and wore makeup and did a voice and you weren't allowed to act like he was Mike Myers. Similar to this movie yeah. This movie's just it's so terrible because it thinks it's not terrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, a hundred percent. They're going for Oscars, I guarantee it. I think they're surprised. Did it get nominated for anything? I feel like it probably did, but I bet they're they. They're like going for oscars. I'm, I guarantee it. I think they're surprised. Did it get nominated for anything? I feel like you probably did, but I bet they're surprised it didn't. I bet that day came when they're like because you submit stuff and then I think you get a call. Do they call you listen? I've never been nominated for anything.
Speaker 2:No one called me I assume there's a day that comes. They're like we'll call you, and then they don't call you and you're like is my phone broken Because we made Amsterdam? That for sure is getting nominated.
Speaker 1:I had watched five minutes of this movie and I just oh, that's right, you told me that and. I just was like what is this? What is going on? And then I started the movie and I was like wait, is this the right movie? And then I get to the scene that I remembered, which is, in a little ways, and it is a scene that you watched many times, over and over again, and I was like oh yeah, okay, this is the terrible movie I was watching.
Speaker 2:It's terrible. The first time you watched it were you so mad that they killed Taylor Swift that you just turned it off. Is that what happened?
Speaker 1:I would just just the way of the way of the way of this movie and you know it's interesting I've been watching. I've been watching some movies that have great sound editing. Sound editing and music are now becoming what I consider maybe the linchpins to everything about movies.
Speaker 2:Interesting. I love that.
Speaker 1:Cause I've rewatched. I rewatched the uh disney werewolf by night. The michael giacino oh, it's so good 39 minutes or something, 30, 33 minutes, whatever you know short movie and you just listen to the music cues and you listen to the sound and you just it's really a simple little thing.
Speaker 2:Just real simple, yeah, but it's lovely.
Speaker 1:It's beautiful, everything about it's wonderful. You're like, this is the kind of stuff everyone should just make because it's nice. It doesn't you know, and you know. And then what was I? One of these other movies I always watch, the Hunt, and there's some music cues in that movie that you're just like holy shit, you just, it just brings you in there and makes you want to be part of the thing and this movie.
Speaker 1:You're just like there is nothing, they don't take us anywhere. That you know. It's like the, the love. The love stuff is is garbage, you know. And there still mystery. It's just these people sort of walking around going from person to person and you're never in, you always understand what's going on. You're just like, oh okay.
Speaker 2:And I was the opposite. I never understood what's going on because I kept waiting for, like, the twist or something to happen where I was like, oh, that's what this movie is about, and I don't feel like I ever really got that moment, I mean there's no twist. There's nothing. Well, I mean, Remy Malek being like the bad guy is kind of a twist you know, you didn't know he was the bad guy.
Speaker 1:The second he walked on stage.
Speaker 2:No, I knew he was weird, but in a movie where everyone's being weird, I was like is he extra weird or is he just Remy Malek, because already a weird guy and now he's doing a weird thing. That's hard to wrap your head around. So then when they revealed that, I was like oh okay, I didn't see it coming, but also it felt inconsequential. I mean, do you know what I?
Speaker 1:mean I mean, if it had just been the wife, then I'd have been like, okay, but it's not, it's both of them and they're drugging the sister. Margot Robbie's character. Yes which they do tell you that way too early.
Speaker 2:By the way, within seconds you're like oh, they're drugging her yes, and I thought that that was going to be some sort of inheritance play. I I didn't realize it had anything to do with the central plot. I thought that was going to be some sort of weird side plot, but then it turns out that it was all just. I don't know. I don't know, I don't. I don't think I liked this movie very much. I don't even why were they even poisoning her?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I don't think I liked this movie very much. Why were they even poisoning her? I couldn't even tell you why they were poisoning her.
Speaker 2:I think just mostly for fun. She didn't seem to be stopping anything from happening.
Speaker 1:And she started the whole thing Kind of yeah. I'm sure if you actually looked at this plot you'd be like why did anyone instigate this, the plot of this movie? Like why, why are they even involved?
Speaker 2:in anything. Yeah, yeah, are you? You're not asking me right, because I don't have any answers.
Speaker 1:Well, it's like one of the it's. It's one of those, you know, it's kind of like one of those classic you know the big sleep or whatever, where you're not quite sure what's going on. You just know everybody's sort of conflicting with each other and you know you're waiting for your hero to sort of you know, rise above or whatever. And in this one the heroes never even rise above. They don't even do anything to foil the plot at the end.
Speaker 2:They say that they do. Does that help? Because he says literally, us three foiled the plot. That's pretty much how the movie ends and I was like, did you? I don't understand how that worked out, but that's great.
Speaker 1:Another thing this movie does is it does lots of stuff off screen and then maybe tells you what it was that happened off screen later, when you know that there are no consequences of what happened off screen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's tough, but it's hard to care about anything.
Speaker 1:And also, yeah, it's hard to care Like what character in this entire movie had a want.
Speaker 2:Hmm, um, like there's gotta be somebody, the oh, I know yeah the second officer in charge there, with the like detective and then his little lackey. He wanted to arrest john david washington for being black, so he did there's a want there. He just wanted to be super racist the whole time. So there's something.
Speaker 1:We'll talk about the racism.
Speaker 2:Do you think it would have helped Because you lived through the 1930s?
Speaker 1:I was there. I lived through that racism.
Speaker 2:Would it have helped if I understood anything that was happening in the world at that time? Do you think no? Okay, because you know history a little right, like you're more informed than I am, and I was just like I don't know what, because it starts with the movie saying some of this really happened, and I don't even know what this is in reference to half the time.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, that's why we do reference, that's why we, that's why we, we study, we look at the internet and we read the story about what this is really about and I read that and I watched it and it was kind of a thing that the general guy was real and there was sort of a thing that was sort of floated and then he talked to congress or something at one point and then everybody was like that sounds a little far-fetched.
Speaker 1:So it was basically a thing that somebody floated and it was just sort of so crazy and so absurd that they didn't try to do it, and that's why in in this movie when we finally get to this general character who we're somehow told he's going to give a speech to veterans and then veterans are going to make him basically king of the United States and throw out the whole government.
Speaker 2:How does that?
Speaker 1:work.
Speaker 2:I don't know. We're missing a bunch of steps. You know what I mean. There's a lot.
Speaker 1:There's a big gap in the middle of how that would work out for you, but that's fine, and the other pitch is that this is the guy that's going to be able to do that, but he's also not even interested in doing it yeah, and kind of like a recluse.
Speaker 2:He's important by reputation, but he isn't Nobody really. I don't know, it's weird, I don't even Dan.
Speaker 1:And in a real movie you would make it. So you weren't sure if he was going to give the bad guy's speech or a good guy's speech, If he was going to turn on the bad guys or be with you know we, you need to have some thing that is confusing to us, and he was always just like yep, I'm not going to do it, I'm going to do that. And then he did it. Everybody just does exactly what they say they're going to do.
Speaker 1:I'm going to do this thing and then you're like oh well, yes, you're going to fall in love with this person.
Speaker 2:that you met for one second. I guess I'm going to watch you do it then I can't really blame him for that.
Speaker 1:Amsterdam 1933. We meet. What's his name? His name is Bert Bert Bumpadoop.
Speaker 2:I don't think that's right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and he is a doctor who helps reconstructive surgery On injured people from World War I. He's got a bag brace. His best friend is Harold Woodman. Whenever somebody says somebody's name, they're always like this is Harold Woodman, harold Woodman. Say hello to this person. His name is Harold.
Speaker 2:Woodman, they really hammer it in for you. They hammer it in for you.
Speaker 1:They hammer it in there.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of names in the movie. They want you to make sure you get them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so his best friend is Harold Woodman, who is an African-American. There's maybe one or there's two racist people in this movie.
Speaker 2:Everyone else just does not see race. Yeah, pretty much totally accepting, which is great, which is really cool that times were like that.
Speaker 1:That is not how times would be, and that's the other thing that sort of annoys me about this movie is they're playing it as this sort of light comedy like a Coen Brothers comedy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they certainly are.
Speaker 1:But nobody reacts in a really harshly negative way to the two of them being friends and then him essentially having a white girlfriend.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Which probably gets you killed in a lot of places.
Speaker 2:Not what. He's a lawyer though, dan, so I wouldn't worry about it. Yeah, I just. I don't. I mean because, again, like cop number two, super racist, and then like the brother and the sister-in-law are kind of racist, I'm pretty sure, and it's just, I don't know, it's just, it's just weird. All of it was just weird. That's my big, that's my big takeaway from this movie.
Speaker 1:It's really weird people so he's hired by taylor swift to go do an autopsy on her dead, on somebody on a dead I like I like taylor swift.
Speaker 2:She was not good in this. No, she's horrible. I just how are you just hiring her because she's taylor swift? Like is that?
Speaker 1:what's happening I?
Speaker 2:don't know, because here's the thing. In a normal movie she is okay at best, right. What is that? Valentine's day? Is that the movie where she's like a cheerleader or something and her and taylor lot are very funny together. It's good, cute. But like this again similar to my complaint with Mr Washington is like this is a movie where people are doing things, they're creating a character. Whether it's good or bad doesn't really matter. At this point you gotta do something. She can barely act like herself on camera. So putting her in a movie in which all the characters are elevated really makes her stick out a lot and honestly I think it's unfair. I think it's unfair to her. This is not her fault, but she does get run over by a car and it's really funny. So I don't know who am I to say. She's got the comedic chops, she's got literally the best part of this movie. So kudos to her.
Speaker 1:So boom, they got an autopsy. This guy, they take him, they take the body. Chris Rock is in here too. I don't know what, chris. Chris Rock just sort of shows up and sort of says a few words. He's very he's he's very bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean yeah, he's very bad, he's very bad.
Speaker 1:So they go and then Zoe Saldana's Irma does the autopsy and we quickly learn that she wants to fall in love with Bert and that Bert's in a loveless relationship and that they're going to just fall in love, based on absolutely nothing and no history. They have no history Right. And do they? Is that what happens? They fall in love at the end. They're absolutely in love at the end.
Speaker 2:Okay, it absolutely feels a little bit stronger than I would say in a tenement building.
Speaker 1:Having sex on a fucking rat infested bed did I miss the end of this movie.
Speaker 2:Is that what happens? Because that's a good end of the movie.
Speaker 1:The two of them are clinging to each other in a fucking urine. Soaked bed in a shitty location. That is where they are yes, as opposed to Park Avenue this is a 10 out of 10 movie so they do the thing? They open it up. Poop there in one of his organs is like this liquid. He was poisoned.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay this is the thing about this movie that makes it Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:They do this. This is the thing about this movie that makes it so annoying. They're like they set it up that we got to have this body back in two hours. We got to have this body back in two hours. We got to have this body back in two hours. So you're like in a real movie. Something is going to occur because they don't get the body back in two hours, this one. At a certain point they say, well, take the body back and they'll have it back in plenty of time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's not what you do in movies. That's not what you do in movies Okay, guys Okay. Why did you spend this time yelling at us about two hours and acting like it meant something, and then it's just like, no, it doesn't mean anything. Goodbye.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God. Okay, they go to meet Taylor Swift's character who set them on this thing. She runs away. She's scared of this man. We find out that the dead guy saw something. What we're going to find out is the dead guy saw Mussolini kill a dog. Is that what it was?
Speaker 2:I was actually going to ask you because I know that they talked about it. They explained it.
Speaker 1:It's the story that he tells on the thing which was On the podium Maybe Mussolini ran over a kid. So that was the whole plot of the movie is that this one guy saw Mussolini, who's one of the Axis guys run over a kid and not give a shit, and so this is the piece of information that this entire movie is trying to hide. But now Because you can't put that on the radio because people are going to think, ah, mussolini's an asshole, we should go to war with him.
Speaker 2:But he is right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wasn't he a bad guy?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, okay so.
Speaker 1:That's the whole plot.
Speaker 2:Which is not a great plot. Let me just say that you know what I mean. Like that's not. That's like maybe a c story, maybe a d story. If you decide to put in a bunch of stories, it's not an a story, you know it's a plus story in the mind plus, plus, plus.
Speaker 1:It's the best story you've ever heard so she's running away, for I know, because she saw somebody, she runs away. She's standing there, you know, on the side of the road and they're like what's happening? What's happening? And the bad guy, timothy olyphant, pushes her to her death underneath the wheels of a car and it's really funny.
Speaker 2:Like she. She flails underneath these tires like it must. Is it a dummy? I don't know what it is, but like it's cgi it's pretty cool, uh, very funny, and it's just so.
Speaker 2:It's so funny because it's so. He just does it in wide up, like it's not like sneaky, like he clearly just goes up and pushes her all on camera. It's very funny, um, and then, even even when he starts like pointing them, they're like I'm sorry, they pushed her, they pushed her. It's all very funny. To me it's a good scene. But her legs are very funny. It's hilarious.
Speaker 1:So the guy that killed her blames the two of them. They have to run off from the mob and for the rest of the movie they're sort of trying to clear their name.
Speaker 2:Sort of Sort of, but also, just like you know, doing whatever they want, it's not it doesn't seem that important.
Speaker 1:There's never really any impediment to anything they do that they're on the run.
Speaker 2:They never really have to be on the run and they're also planning a gala of some sort and, like I don't know, they seem pretty chill. He's going to work like normal. Everything's pretty fine in general. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:And he's a drug dealer and loses his license every day.
Speaker 2:He's for sure that.
Speaker 1:Does drugs and all these weird things. Yeah, remember that scene where they put the eye drops in their eyes, like why was that scene in this movie? That's fast.
Speaker 2:That is, remember that scene where they put the eye drops in their eyes. Why was that scene in this movie? Oh, that's fast, that is fast. I also thought that was funny, by the way. It was weird. It was just like why is it? It was super weird and what is it? They never really tell me what it is. I would love to. I'll put that shit in my eyes all the time.
Speaker 1:Probably cocaine or something.
Speaker 2:Probably something cool. You're right about that.
Speaker 1:Okay, so now we're going to jump back to 1918 to figure out why we got here. And I don't care wow, don't, he doesn't care do you care?
Speaker 2:no, well, no, I never cared about any of these characters yeah, me neither and like all you really need to know is like they're friends, that's pretty much it. They were in war, they were friends. They already told me that. I already knew that before all this happens. Now I'm going back and just finding out why their friends don't care.
Speaker 1:I just don't care and it's, and it's bad too. Um, so what we find out is that they're african-american soldiers. They don't want to work under racist people. Surprise, surprise and so and so burt becomes like in charge of them and then immediately they're like murdered.
Speaker 2:You know it's disastrous results Destroyed yeah, yeah, lots of blood, oh, God, this.
Speaker 1:Now we're really getting into the terrible parts. So they get blown up and get shrapneled all over the place. They get dragged in there to the hospital. Here comes Margot Robbie, who is the nurse that's going to take care of them. We have what I consider to be the most gruesome shots of stuff, I think, in any movie I've ever seen, maybe in every movie I've ever seen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1:It really lingers on the horribleness of it.
Speaker 2:Which just to me feels a little weird, because this movie isn't really that kind of movie. I didn't think but and it's not really again, although they do like fixate on his scars, I guess later. So some yeah, maybe, yeah, I don't know. We'll talk about that scene the sexy, sexy scars, oh yeah probably the best scene in the movie.
Speaker 1:I I'm like let's keep this going.
Speaker 2:Let's see where this goes, guys, let's follow this trail.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean jumping ahead for one second. It's because that actually felt human.
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, yeah In a real fudged up way.
Speaker 1:In a good way. You're like I want to see what's happening here, okay, so she's pulling out that, and then we find out that she's saving the shrapnel and, more than anyone being angry about any kind of racial things in this, they are angry about her. Terrible, yeah, yeah, because she's taking the shrapnel and making art with it. We're going to talk about the art. And I'm going to get very, very angry during that part.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I can't wait. I love when you get angry, because I feel like I get angry a lot, but it's fun when you do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she saved the shrapnel. She's Valerie Brandenburg. It's an insult to God to save the shrapnel.
Speaker 2:What does that mean? What?
Speaker 1:does that mean I don't understand? I don't know, what that means.
Speaker 2:I don't get it.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Speaker 2:Sure, I don't go to church every Sunday, but I don't think that would help me understand that line.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so almost immediately. She and Harold are in love and they kiss instantly. Yeah, within seconds.
Speaker 2:Which is a moment that I do enjoy is Christian Bale, like watching them from the gurney and he's like I don't know what's happening. I thought that was very funny because I was like, hey, me, neither bud. This movie is weird as shit and I don't understand anything that's going on.
Speaker 1:It was and you thought we were going to set up a dynamic where he was into her too, but there's not. He's just like I want to be part of whatever's happening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's just third wheeling and just happy to do it. I mean good for him, you know.
Speaker 1:So living carefree, so she smokes a pipe, uh boom the war ends, which she doesn't do ever again.
Speaker 2:Right, does what. They make a point she never smokes out of a pipe again. No, right, no, that'd be crazy, but they make like a deal of it in the scene. Yeah, harold's. Oh, woman smoking a pipe, wow, that's, that's interesting. And then we never do it again. So it wasn't that interesting. Yeah, cut it. You can cut that part out of the movie.
Speaker 1:There you go.
Speaker 2:There's two minutes, two minutes saved.
Speaker 1:Moving on, the war ends. The two of them are in love. She's got the shrapnel, and then she's only going to tell them what the shrapnel is for If they give her something beautiful.
Speaker 2:Or If they don't, because she also just tells them after they give her a shit song.
Speaker 1:Talk about the nonsense. You didn't love the nonsense song. It wasn't the greatest thing you've ever seen.
Speaker 2:I pretty much hated the nonsense song. It's exactly what you think a nonsense song would be. It's words that don't make sense in a different language and they just sing it and they sort of harmonize. It's like what's happening? Why is this happening? I don't care. Is this charming? What am I supposed to be getting out of this?
Speaker 1:It's something beautiful.
Speaker 2:It's not, that's what I'm saying. It's not, it's something beautiful. It's not, that's what I'm saying. It's not.
Speaker 1:It's not good at all, as opposed to if John David Washington stood there and then sang some beautiful, soulful song.
Speaker 2:Great, hey, that's fun, yeah, that's nice. Instead they just are a bunch of eight-year-olds and just sing a song they make up and then giggle about it.
Speaker 1:And why is she part of the the delivery of something?
Speaker 2:beautiful, something that they made up and then are giving to her.
Speaker 1:Don't know, I don't know, dan so then we get to meet her, we get to see her art, which is faux, surrealist, bullshit, art that they just copied, like man ray and like these other surrealist guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah exactly that was what I thought too. I was like man Ray.
Speaker 1:Acted like she came up with all this stuff and later on we see this one coffee pot that she's made, which everyone acts like it's a work against God.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's like the devil. Yeah, it's devil. Work, it's the devil.
Speaker 1:And that was the scene that I was just like what is happening, Like I don't know, Like what, how, no one would even react to that. They just be like that's ugly. That's all they would do. That's exactly what would happen.
Speaker 2:They just be like who? Why would you have that's dumb One, definitely sharp, yeah For sure, and probably covered in someone else's blood. Even though she probably washed him a little bit, it's still pretty gross.
Speaker 1:Boom, they're going to go to Amsterdam to get him fixed up. And what is she? She's an incredible forger. What yeah?
Speaker 2:Why I feel like she dropped a line and was like I had to do it for this reason, but I was like what?
Speaker 1:She's an incredible. You set up a character in.
Speaker 2:She's better now because she wasn't as good before. She said and she's like well, now I'm really good at it.
Speaker 1:I don't know, it was so weird. They go there, they meet the two spies, which is Mike Myers and Michael Shannon. They're spies but they act like they're not spies, but I don't know. And then, but they're not just spies, they're also, you know, the glass eye connection.
Speaker 2:It doesn't make any sense. We haven't talked much about his glass eye that just keeps falling out. Now is that funny? Is it a bit that his just keeps falling out? Now is that funny like am I is. Is it a bit that his eye keeps falling out.
Speaker 1:It was funny the one where they they were adjusting the eye. I thought that was kind of funny yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I'm sure it's great. So they go and life was glorious. They're dancing, they're dancing, there, dancing, and they make a pact that the three of them are friends or something. I don't know what the pact?
Speaker 2:is yeah, I don't know. I don't remember us ever making a pact, so I feel like maybe we should do it. Maybe blood should be involved. You let me know. You know we didn't live through Blood brothers.
Speaker 1:We didn't live through Amsterdam, do you want?
Speaker 2:to go to Amsterdam. I don't even know what's in Amsterdam. I don't know about the world.
Speaker 1:I've been to Amsterdam you know how long.
Speaker 2:I've been there. You've been a lot of places, dan. It always surprised me, not because you shouldn't or don't deserve to go places, but I'm always surprised when you're like, yeah, I've been there, been there, been there.
Speaker 1:How long do you think I spent in Amsterdam?
Speaker 2:Well, let's see, you spent 24 hours in London, so I think you spent six hours in Amsterdam 24 hours.
Speaker 1:24 hours. You're just a day. Tripper Shannon corrected me. I didn't go to the British Museum, I went to the British Library.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I mean I'm glad that somebody probably noticed that, dan, but I guarantee you it wasn't me.
Speaker 1:I was a big lying fucktard, big fat liar.
Speaker 2:In fact, you owe everyone an apology. I would like a written social media apology from you. Dan, it's not happening. Okay, so they're like they're packed.
Speaker 1:They're living in Amsterdam, but then Harold wants to go back and be a lawyer, and so she goes back, even though they're in love, but she also vanishes.
Speaker 2:Because, yeah, yep, because reasons 10 years pass she's got stuff to do in 10 years, man. Okay, you don't know for some reason.
Speaker 1:Now bert is going to go back and see his wife that he's estranged from for some reason.
Speaker 2:I don't know what the reason was is it just because he wants to right like he's. He basically is just like I have a wife, I have to go back.
Speaker 1:But just randomly, randomly, that's what I got out of it so he goes back there, and then harold hides in the other room and then here comes the wife and she is thirsty, but she is thirsty for his scars, but just the scars and I just don't understand. I was so into this. It was so weird. It's just like what is happening. I'm like oh, this is creep, you know what? This is like vampire shit. You're like oh yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 2:It's weird and you're like oh, I think vampires are hot. This was a little bit weirder to me, oh no, this is super weird.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was the whole thing.
Speaker 2:You're like this is how vampires would really be. But because I get it Like if a smoking hot vamp came up and was like here's the deal, I'm going to bite you and I'm going to drain you, but while it's happening you're going to have a great time. I'd be like, yeah, cool, Do it. Do it. Here's my neck, Do the thing you want to do, because that's hot.
Speaker 1:This is just weird, Dan thing you want to do because that's hot. This is just weird. Damn, the vampire was all on your back and getting into your back like licking on your moles and shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd be like no, can we not? You know what? I changed my mind. Let's, let's go our separate ways.
Speaker 1:I don't know I don't like it.
Speaker 2:Revoke your house principle you, you cannot enter, you cannot enter.
Speaker 1:It was just great because it was freaky and weird.
Speaker 2:It was both of those things You're right about that.
Speaker 1:And then what does Harold do? He like opens the door. He's like ah, I blew it all. You know you're fucked.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so weird, wonderful, it doesn't make any sense. Way to go, harold.
Speaker 1:So the detectives, the two detectives show up. One's a war veteran who gets drugs from the, from Bert and the other guys like the big racists Great, they like do a bunch of things. Don't let me you know what they do.
Speaker 2:They reiterate everything that's happened, yeah, which is, which is fine. Other than at this point, I'm good, you know what I mean. I would like I need two-thirds away through the movie. I need someone to do a recap, because that's when I start getting confused.
Speaker 1:But right now I'm, I'm with you, I'm caught up, yeah it's like we do not need to hear everybody's first and last names again. We don't know what little things have happened. We're like, we're good, we're good.
Speaker 2:Nothing has happened. I'm all set.
Speaker 1:But their next person is they're going to go see Mr Vose. He's the next step. And then why they got to go to Vose is because they got to get three things. They got to get someone to vouch for them. That's going to be Vose, god knows why. They need to get the autopsy and they need to get the contract that they were hired from. It's like okay, there it is. But you know you got time few days, just take your time yeah, yeah, no, no rush, no rush on these things it's fine.
Speaker 1:And then the racist detective breaks a bowl. Why does he break a bowl? What does that mean?
Speaker 2:I don't know, because then later he picks up the teapot and I was like, oh okay, he's going to break the teapot and he doesn't, so there's no callback to it. It's just like a random moment that they thought would be funny Maybe at that time.
Speaker 1:If you get him to do something, you gotta make it funny or make it mean something.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be something deep, but like, okay, he broke the china, so what then?
Speaker 1:Yeah, then he gets confrontational. Yeah, so what if it broke? What?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but nope, like the other cop is just like ah, he's learning or something stupid like that. It's like okay, he says that.
Speaker 1:He says he'll be a good detective one of these days. You're like what? Because he's breaking a glass bowl.
Speaker 2:What does that mean? I have no idea. It doesn't make any sense. I don't know.
Speaker 1:You write yourself an event and then you don't have nothing to say about the event.
Speaker 2:Well, a good cop never breaks anything at a crime scene. Okay, oh, you can't.
Speaker 1:I've been telling you Don't break the shit at the crime scenes. Stop touching things at the crime scenes. These are jokes. These are things that add to the levity of your weird movie that's ostensibly a comedy.
Speaker 2:So that's the goal. Is it a comedy? I mean it has to be right. Yeah, I mean it's definitely quirky and weird and like there's some jokes in there, I guess.
Speaker 1:I don't know about there being jokes in there, but I feel like I heard a joke one time. I wrote guy with gun threatens them. I guess the whatchamacallit. I thought it was going to be the Ku Klux Klan initially.
Speaker 2:Oh sure Sure, it's not, it's Nazis.
Speaker 1:The next day they go to Mr Vose. He's got a rich house. Here's Anya. Mr Vose is not in. Then he sees this cabinet that's full of crafts from the hospital. And then, boom, out comes Valerie. What are you doing here? We have not seen you for 10 years. You look exactly the same. You have not aged. Of the three of us, only one of us has aged.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is correct.
Speaker 1:Only one of them has aged.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like they were cryogenically frozen for 10 years and he aged 42 years. That's kind of how it went down. Valerie, 42 years.
Speaker 1:That's kind of how it went down, valerie. Oh, anya Taylor Joy is there. She plays Mrs Vose. She's terrible, she's just terrible.
Speaker 2:I mean she's not given a ton to do in her defense.
Speaker 1:Except have a big boner for.
Speaker 2:Robert De Niro.
Speaker 1:That part was weird, that part was very weird. It's super weird.
Speaker 2:It was like For no reason. No reason whatsoever.
Speaker 1:They should have just let us know at a certain point that all these characters were vampires.
Speaker 2:Well, I love how you're fixated on this vampire plot. I I like it listen.
Speaker 1:Any movie that becomes a vampire movie, I'm immediately a fan of and and we do something now, that's really great, and then we like, like everything else, we abandon it instantly. Valley comes out holding this weird doll and she terrorizes on his character with the doll. This is so bizarre, it's so cool and I'm like you gotta do that more you gotta. She's gotta carry that doll with her.
Speaker 2:The rest of the show why isn't the doll in the finale? When they're all like, when they're pinning it on him, she's gotta like whip it out and be like you did this.
Speaker 1:The doll is doing the whole solution to the mystery. Doing the thing, doing the recap. Doing the recap and that's the thing about this movie is there's some instincts in there, but they don't follow any of them. They're just like oh yeah, she smokes a pipe, throw that in the trash, she's got a crazy doll. Yeah, throw that in the trash.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't worry about it, we do them, we do them and then we move on. You know, like great comedy.
Speaker 1:Oh, so we find out that Valerie was the one that told somebody to hire them. Valerie told Liz to hire them, right, okay, we go into her room and she's got all her art there. She's got like x-rays and they're all like we play the fanciful music of like. She's so creative. Look at the creativity. Oh, it's so creative.
Speaker 2:It's just weird. It's just weird, it's just all weird.
Speaker 1:We find out that she's been being drugged. We of course realize that her brother's drugging her, whatever. And then this Carlton guy shows up and he attacks and knocks out, knocks out bert, and then harold just like slams him. Like harold like beats the beatiest guys ever, instantaneously no problem, he beat it, yeah yeah, he's good.
Speaker 2:He's good, he's a veteran okay and then vose shows up.
Speaker 1:we find out he's a. He's a bird watcher. He's like okay, you got to go meet the general and then, if you can get the general to vouch for you, then he'll vouch for you. Because I'm not going to vouch for you, because I'm not vouching for you Because we got to send you to someone else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, super weird. What's with all the birdwatching in the movie? Did I miss something? You did, I did okay.
Speaker 1:Tell me what it is. The bird watching is this way that they can introduce the idea of the cuckoo bird. What the cuckoo bird does is it goes into the nest of, like another bird and then, I think, kills its babies and then installs its babies into the nest and then the other dumb bird takes care of the babies. I think is what happens wait it okay.
Speaker 2:So what does that have to do with this movie?
Speaker 1:they're trying to take over the country by so they're doing a full cuckoo bird?
Speaker 2:is that what you're trying to tell me?
Speaker 1:they're going full cuckoo bird. Is that what you're trying to call it, cuckoo bird? Yes, cuckoo bird. They're gonna go far, because I do remember someone.
Speaker 2:Someone does say that in the movie about the cuckoo bird. Yes, and then deniro, at some point with a smirk on his face, goes cuckoo bird. And then I was like what's going on? What did I miss about the cuckoo bird?
Speaker 1:I'm so confused, him him doing, I miss, him doing that I did miss his cuckoo bird.
Speaker 2:Well, it's in there, I'm telling you cuckoo bird. What are you talking about? This is a cuckoo bird situation you're talking about cuckoo bird. Cuckuckoo bird.
Speaker 1:That's your impression. That's the impression you can do. Tony, you're doing really good, that's amazing Thanks.
Speaker 2:I learned from John O Wilson. Everybody go check out his Instagram.
Speaker 1:Is he having a baby? He got married like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's definitely having a baby.
Speaker 1:He's like a full-grown adult now. He's all buff, you know.
Speaker 2:He did, he got caught up.
Speaker 1:man, he looks good, looks good they have to watch a newsreel with the the general.
Speaker 2:It's weird, uh and that's, and that was real right. Yeah, or was that not real? What?
Speaker 1:happened in the 30s was all the veterans went and camped out in Washington DC because they wanted some back pay, and then the president burned down their camps and drove them out.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Holy crap.
Speaker 1:Trump's a terrible president had. We've had terrible presidents before it's so okay.
Speaker 2:So it's not the first, oh no, probably not the last you read the shit about nixon too. Oh my god, nixon I am not a crook I'm a psychopath.
Speaker 1:I'm a psychopath. Okay, harold and valerie have a quiet moment. It was kind of nice. You were like if they actually had a little bit of time to develop the relationship like this, there could have been something.
Speaker 2:Sure, they didn't, though, dan no.
Speaker 1:I wrote.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, Dan's reading. It's getting deep in. Oh, stroking the chin.
Speaker 1:I wrote Dylan. I guess Dylan Beck is saying no to doing the speech. There's no sign of Harold.
Speaker 2:There's something about the well, harold was supposed to come with him to meet Dylan, but he went with uh Barbie instead and they went somewhere different yeah you know who knows, and then, and then, and then christian bale's like where's harold, where are you harold, um? And then he's uh, and then they shut down his practice or something. Yeah, the police are gonna stop the police are gonna shut down the practice.
Speaker 1:Irma shows up and and we find out that some people stole the autopsy. But she can still do the autopsy You're like okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then they're like almost kissing and then his wife shows up for an unknowable reason and slaps him and then tells him to come home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think this is the part where we get one of my only other laughs in the movie, which maybe it's not, maybe I missed it already, but there's a scene between the policeman and Christian Bale where the policeman is basically like, hey, you're in trouble, but also I need some pills. I'll see you in your office soon, but you're in trouble.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's earlier. That's very funny. When he shows up at the office, he's, he's just like rifling around and pulls out something, starts giving himself injections.
Speaker 2:you're like, wow, okay.
Speaker 1:So I mean there's some, you know some goofy stuff that made me chuckle yeah, so irma's gonna do the autopsy, that's all good, so they're set on that. This is where we do the weird obscene t set. It's really weird. They give him, they give him the meekins contract, so that's good, and then irma and burt are walking around and they run into a barbershop quartet and then they go and see chris rock and then he gives like a whole he is. He gets to do this story about both of his parents getting shot in the face or something, but living or something, something like that and I was like what are we talking about?
Speaker 2:right now? I have no idea why or who or what, I don't know this movie is, you know, I remember, hmm, what was that? Ari Aster movie, what was that called?
Speaker 1:again, Bo is Afraid.
Speaker 2:That one Bo is Afraid one, yeah, that classic piece of film, and like there's a point in movies like these, like that movie and this movie, where like my eyes just gloss over and I just completely lose the plot and like I think there was a good 30 minutes of this movie where I was totally I was watching and like I am technically engaged but I am somewhere else in my mind.
Speaker 1:You disassociate.
Speaker 2:I disassociate from my body.
Speaker 1:That's so bad During movies like this, and I'm just doing something completely different. No, it's not.
Speaker 2:Well, you do it to me, dad. These are all movies that you pick. Okay, this is your fault.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:But it happens. I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 1:They're going to go to Dillenbeck's but they stop at the Waldorf and see the two spy guys and then they do a bunch of bird stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, more birds. I don't understand the birds.
Speaker 1:And during this part we also do a flashback to somebody having gone, and there's like sterilization clinics, so the bad guys are also doing sterilization Right.
Speaker 2:That's Harold and Barbie. What is her name in this movie? Valerie, valerie, harold and Val. Yeah, they went to the sterilization clinic, which I was very confused about, but then they tried to do it to Harold or something, and then he punches people and they run away.
Speaker 1:Did I get that right? They go to Dillenbeck's. They have the photos At first they get pushed away, then they're allowed to go in. Here's the general. It's Robert De Niro, just being Robert De Niro.
Speaker 2:I mean again, he didn't get the memo. But here's what I'll say In Russell's defense here, if De Niro came to my picture.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't try to direct De Niro. I'd be like, Mr De Niro, you do whatever you want to do. Here are the lines. Get as close as you can. You know what I'd be like, Mr De Niro you do whatever you want to do. Here are the lines. Get as close as you can. That's all I would say. But if I'm doing John David Washington, who's the lead of my film, I'd be like listen, pal, Everyone else is trying to do shit. Step up your game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like walk with the, you know, oh, what's going on.
Speaker 2:Do an arm thing. No one's doing an arm thing. You could do a chicken wing arm thing, I don't know. Do an arm thing. Do an arm thing, try something.
Speaker 1:Prosthetic fists that are larger, mr Big Fists, he's got this big swollen fist on his arm.
Speaker 2:That'd be good, big swollen.
Speaker 1:They're like you do not look well, something's going on, bud. So Dylan Beck, he's like when I met you. I don't remember you and I can't see who you are in these pictures. Good pictures. You did a song, then they do one song, then they do a second song, which I guess is the nonsense song.
Speaker 2:It's the nonsense song. If anything in this movie needed a callback, dan. It was the nonsense song, because we needed, if anything in this movie needed, a call back, dan, it was the nonsense song.
Speaker 1:So we do the nonsense song again. And then he's like okay, I'm gonna go to your gala and do your speech, but there's also this other guy that wants to give a speech. So what we'll do is we'll combine the two, we'll tell him we'll take his $18,000, and then we'll say we're going to do his speech.
Speaker 1:But now what's going to do is that's going to draw out all the Nazis, and then we'll know where they all are, and then we'll be able to take their pictures, and then we'll know who the Nazis are, the bad guys are. Is that the plot? Does that happen? That's?
Speaker 2:exactly what happens. Here's what I'm going to do. I did not get any of that, Dan. This is the first I'm hearing of this plan. What do you mean? I watched this entire movie, and this is the first time I'm hearing this plan. But you know what? It's a good plan.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they're going to draw out the Nazis, because the Nazis have been trying to get him to give the speech.
Speaker 2:Right, we've got a location of the speech. We're going to put it on the radio, but he's doing a different speech.
Speaker 1:Yes, he is going to give the Meekins information about Mussolini running over a kid and not giving a shit. Right as opposed to saying hey, all you veterans, you should just make me into the president and kick.
Speaker 2:Roosevelt out. Just vote me in. No no voting, no it just happens, it's just well, that's what I meant by vote me in. Just do it, because you can't. That's how the way a vote works, you know I mean so boom, they get.
Speaker 1:The police are off their back. Uh oh, then they that all, all of them go to see vose. And then anya tayloroy is just all over him, and then he says De Niro, all over De Niro, all over De Niro. And then Bobby Malick's like okay, we'll broadcast it too, and then Burt can do his songs too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why, why? What's happening? Why is he singing? I don't understand.
Speaker 1:I think David O Russell must have seen O Brother when Art Thou and been. Like I can do that.
Speaker 2:I am a man of constant sorrow. I have that song memorized, did you like that movie. I do not remember the movie, I just remember the music, and I love the music.
Speaker 1:There it is.
Speaker 2:But I have not seen the movie in like 20 years and I could not comment on it. I should rewatch it. It's a great movie. I should give that a shot.
Speaker 1:Great movie. Okay, Night of the Gala. That's what they're going to do. There's dancing, Bert sings, His in-laws are now proud of him, Cornelius Vanderbilt is there. And then this is the point at which, after everything else that's happened in their lives, this is when Bert dumps his wife because she sees some rich guy across the room and she's like I got to go talk to him. And he's all like well, if you loved me, you wouldn't want to go talk to that guy.
Speaker 2:Well, because he's like you're using me or something.
Speaker 1:I think he just figured out that the wife is only there for his scars. Right, that's it. It's freaking weird, but you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know it's weird. Yeah, hey, good for him. He grew right. Isn't that what the character arc is all about?
Speaker 1:Yep, so boom. Here we have in the back room. We meet all the bad guys, and they are all the bad guys are telecommunications, news agencies, chemical and also an auto guy right yep yep, they all toast and then it's speech time. But it's not speech time because we have to have a dude playing the glasses they take eye drugs, eye drugs, eye drugs, eye drugs very weird uh, it's a funny.
Speaker 2:It's a funny line, though, because he's like mid-talk and he puts it. He's like that is fast, that is fast. I just thought that was right. I feel you.
Speaker 1:No pain, no pain no pain, I mean, and if this was a comedy? Where the stakes weren't the nazis taking over the country? Maybe sure it could work, because you just make it some weird low stakes thing and it wasn't about sterilization. You can't make a wacky movie about sterilization clinics. It's just not wacky. It's not wacky, it's zany.
Speaker 2:It's totally zany, dan. What are you missing, sheesh?
Speaker 1:And then Voz, before the general goes on. He's like think of the veterans. You got to be cool, I'll give you some more money.
Speaker 2:Be cool, man Be cool.
Speaker 1:We got another box of money.
Speaker 2:Here's another box of money I love boxes of money personally and we also have. We also have six nazis in the uh in the audience who are like yelling in german super, yeah, so now that, now that you've explained to me the plan which is the first time I heard that plan when we see the germans in the room, it makes a little more sense now, because the first time I saw it I was like why are they here?
Speaker 2:what is happening? This is a veterans event. I was so confused and they start like doing like, they start fight, dancing or whatever, and I was like I'm I feel like I'm on drugs because I don't know what's that. But now that you've explained to me the plot of the movie. It makes a little bit more sense.
Speaker 1:Well, the fight drugs part is terrible, because what should have happened? See, if this was a real movie, right, uh-huh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure.
Speaker 1:So the general gives his speech Sorry, yeah and basically puts Mussolini on blast, puts the wealthy on blast, and that's what you gotta do, yeah, and then, and then they try to shoot the general. They hit Bert and.
Speaker 2:But then I did like that part where he's given the speech. The guy in the balcony shoots. He's tussling with our people, he shoots the glass off of the podium and De Niro's just like whoever's shooting at me. You're a coward. I've been shot at all. He doesn't run at all I think that was very funny pretty good bit like if that would have been a good seat. That was a good bet.
Speaker 1:I enjoyed that yeah, if the stakes had been different, you'd have been like oh, this is great, you know sure given him even you know that's a good. It was a good starting point right, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's just the tip of the bit, and then you have to. You know you got to hit it harder.
Speaker 1:He's like I got shot here in the knee. That is coming down. You know, there's a speech you write on the day where you're like, oh, this is working, this is the gold let's go for it. They never mind the gold. Now we keep the bronze. So boom, that's the end. Now we start doing weird voiceovers. That's the end of the movie.
Speaker 2:That's the end.
Speaker 1:We do voiceovers. That's not quite the end. No, there's more, but I mean it's essentially the end.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, you're right, we got the wrap-up, the wrap-up's coming.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's like 15 minutes of wrap-up, but that's the end of the movie. You know, yeah, and we immediately start doing because of the eye drops, he says because of those drops. I'm gonna do voiceover for the rest of the movie.
Speaker 2:You're like because he's high. Yeah, because he's high and he's not feeling any pain or something. I don't know. It's so weird. It's not an explanation as to what. What do rich people want? Is it ever enough? Like what? Where is this coming from? What's happening right now?
Speaker 1:so basically, um, we find out that vos admits he's a's sort of a Nazi. You know, valerie figures out that the brother's been drugging her and she gets mad about it and we're all like yeah.
Speaker 2:Which we all knew, and I was pretty sure Christian Bale knew, but you know, I guess not.
Speaker 1:And then Vose has something to do with the clinics, because of something, something, something to do with the clinics because of something, something. He also has a swastika topiary in his front lawn, which was the, which was. That was the point at which I was like you can't have a light comedy where one of your characters no has a no you know, the only movie that's ever. Well, two movies have done naziies, the Producers and Blues Brothers.
Speaker 2:Wait, I haven't seen the Blues Brothers in a long time. There's Nazis in the Blues Brothers, yes.
Speaker 1:Wow, I don't remember that at all. Yes, they conflict with these Nazis, and you know what they do. They play the Nazis like they're comical, fucking loser assholes. And it's, and it's the guy that's in charge of the nazis is. I can't remember his name, but he's a little short blonde guy, you know like a classic short blonde comedian guy of course, of course, yeah henry something and you know that's, that's it they. You know, like they, who do they put in charge of them a little weird, a little short loser, yeah, and then, smart, then they mock him endlessly well, they're on a mission from god, so yeah um swastika topiary.
Speaker 1:We do the voiceover, where we reiterate the entire plot again well, I mean in the movie's defense.
Speaker 2:This is the first time I think I understood the plot, when it's just literally written out step by step. I was like, oh okay, I see how you got there.
Speaker 1:I did not enjoy the journey, but I see how you got there then we do a voiceover about love and hate and then we have a bunch of clips from the fucking movie yeah, I didn't understand what the fuck.
Speaker 2:I don't know why. Are you sure I don't need a recap of your own movie, like I saw? I just watched it. I sat through it once already. Don't know why are you showing this. I don't need a recap of your own movie, I just watched it.
Speaker 1:I sat through it once already. Don't give me a clip show of your movie. I'm out. But none of the bad guys got in trouble. The general got smeared. Mcguire was killed. The guy that paid him to do the speech, and then Valerie and Harold wanted to go back to Amsterdam, but instead they are going Went somewhere different. I think it was Canada. I think they must have taken a boat to Canada.
Speaker 2:Oh, is that? I feel like they said something that was supposed to make me understand where they were going. There was some sort of joke that they said, but I didn't get it.
Speaker 1:Neither did I, so I guess they went to.
Speaker 2:Canada. Yeah, it went right over my head. I think they went to Canada, did I? And so I guess they went to canada. I went right over my head. I think they went to canada. Something about bird watching, though. There was great birds there and they're jealous because of the, because of the birds I, I don't know man and then this is not a fun.
Speaker 1:And then burt goes to bed with uh, with irma, because it was all laid out from the beginning of the movie and it was yeah, they told us at the beginning of the movie that the two of them were going to be forced to be in love, and now they've been forced to be in love.
Speaker 2:And there they were. Look at that. They did it. You set something up, you pay it off. Great job. David O Russell, stop Stop brother, just stop, just stop Call a time out. You have enough money right, just retire. What has he done? I mean Silver Lines, playbook, what else?
Speaker 1:did he do? He did American Hustle with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I feel like I saw it. I don't remember it.
Speaker 1:American Hustle was Cotton Candy, right? You're all like oh shit's happening.
Speaker 2:There's like a couple of good.
Speaker 1:Jennifer lopez has a couple of great scenes where you're like, oh shit, she could do stuff. And what's his name? Had a few good scenes that you were like, oh shit, he could do stuff and then. But it's like one of those movies where you're like what's it about? Um, he's just kind of a kind of a hustler.
Speaker 1:He's just kind of a hustler. He just sort of hustles through the movie, and that's the thing. You're okay with a movie like that, where it's like, okay, there's nothing real going on here. It's just kind of a character study, just kind of vibing it's vibing. But a movie with this much plot, you can't be vibing. No, you can't.
Speaker 1:This movie is so convoluted and I just I yeah, yeah, I didn't like it. I didn't like it damn. The stakes are too high, but the characters in the movie don't have any stakes oh, yeah, 100, 100 on that it was, it was not.
Speaker 2:Um, sometimes I have a lot of fun watching these movies, and then this and then this one was not fun.
Speaker 1:I knew that's what this? Movie was going to be like I'm making art, but I'm also making something that's funny and entertaining. You're like no.
Speaker 2:And I think you're 0 for 2. I think you're 0 for 2 there, pal0 for everything.
Speaker 1:Tony, tell us something you like this week.
Speaker 2:Oh, can do, Dan. We watched Josh Hartnett's New banger, fight or flight, unreal. This movie is Great. Did you watch it? I don't know what you're talking about, holy buck. You don't know what I'm talking about Get on voodoo.
Speaker 1:We like Josh Hartnett right. Love Josh Hartnett he's kind of killing it now right, oh, he's crying, he's having a resurgence and I'm here for it.
Speaker 2:I hope he gets more shit. This movie is. It's gory, but it's a wonderful action movie it's it all takes. Almost all of it takes place on a plane. Uh, basically, he's hired to get a target, uh on the ground safely, and it's a plane full of killers, uh, assassins, and so it's just, like you know, a ridiculous wikian type thing on a plane. And it's great, it's super fun.
Speaker 1:We had a blast they actually pull it off. It doesn't seem like they do.
Speaker 2:It's dan abada and vood. Okay, I'll watch it. You need to just watch it. It's great.
Speaker 1:It's like that Nobody movie which I've watched parts you know.
Speaker 2:Nobody's so good. I love Nobody. Nobody 2 coming out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're like this is just a good movie. They're just you know they're not great movies.
Speaker 2:But you're just like Okay, real solid, and they did.
Speaker 1:I'm going to talk about a trailer.
Speaker 2:A movie trailer or like an RV.
Speaker 1:I saw this RV no a movie trailer. And it's a movie trailer with somebody who the pod loves and adores His name Carl Urban.
Speaker 2:What's Carl doing right now?
Speaker 1:You haven't seen it. You haven't watched it.
Speaker 2:I don't think I have seen it. What's he doing? What's the trailer? Talk to me.
Speaker 1:Mortal Kombat 2. He's playing Johnny Cage, johnny Cage.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, yes, I didn't know this dropped. I'll have to watch this.
Speaker 1:I went and saw the first Mortal Kombat movie when it came out. I never played any of the games or anything, I watched it. You're like, this movie's great, this movie's fun, this movie's just fun. We've watched Mortal Kombat 1, I think. Didn't we do that for this one? We did the OG, mortal Kombat Annihilation, which is the sequel to the original. Oh, okay, and then I must have watched the new one, whatever the new one was. Yeah, or did we do both?
Speaker 2:Maybe we did both, I don't know. Yeah, the original's great, A real silly fun time. Annihilation's a terrible movie, but still ridiculous and fun. And then we did like the remake right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it was okay. You know it wasn't terrible, terrible, but it wasn't good, I had a good time. This one, just Carl Urban. I don't know what he does, he just Well, he's great. He just brought a thing and he plays like the outsider who doesn't have any magical powers. Everybody has magical powers.
Speaker 2:Johnny Cage he's an actor. Yeah, he plays like an action actor and then he gets sucked into the world of Mortal Kombat Just in the games. I haven't seen this trailer, but I'm excited.
Speaker 1:And I just totally got the feels from the trailer. I was just watching the trailer and I was just like I'm excited, I'm so pumped dude Carl. Urban. You know how to do the thing.
Speaker 2:I think one of our complaints about the original, the remake that came out a few years ago, was it wasn't it took the entire movie to get to like the tournament, sure, and then I think, if I remember correctly, they were like the sequel is going to be all tournament, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 1:That's this movie. I'm very excited. This is all the characters. This is you know.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:When you look down in the comments, everybody's just like this is the movie. This is the movie. These are the characters, this is the when he does the line. You know because they do the lines.
Speaker 2:Of course, of course, get over here.
Speaker 1:They do.
Speaker 2:That's the final line. I think in the thing God, I love Scorpion man and everybody's just like.
Speaker 1:But when you cement that with a Carl Urban playing Johnny Cage, who's the outsider who can comment on all this shit? But then be, the human being, that sort of overcomes and deals with it.
Speaker 2:You're like okay, that's what you need. This is all wonderful news. Did this drop this week.
Speaker 1:I got to find it, I'll have to watch it as soon as we're done, because I saw a thing about it and I was like, oh okay, no, no, Because I saw a thing about it and I was like, oh okay, no, no. I got you know, because I watch a lot of the trailers and I just watch and I was just like they cut the trailer. Right, he's right. Oh boy, you're like. Okay, guys, good job, I'm ready for this. This is great news.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to come out right now, tony, we need a movie, we need a bad movie. Okay, I mean, we're gonna do a bad movie, but we're not. We're not gonna do a dan goodsell bad movie.
Speaker 1:We're gonna do a movie that I'm gonna have fun watching.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna have a good time. I want to bring back the good vibes, the good old boys, as they say, um so what are you talking about? I have no, no idea. I'm out of control. So we're going to go to one of my favorite movies. Yeah, super Troopers. I don't know if you've ever seen it. Great film. No Broken Lizard. Are you serious? Wait, tom, you've seen it.
Speaker 1:I don't think so.
Speaker 2:You've watched Super Troopers?
Speaker 1:I don't believe so.
Speaker 2:You've never seen super troopers. What I'm about to do isn't even gonna make sense if you haven't seen super troopers. Um so broken lizard is the comedy uh group that made super troopers, which you have to. Your homework is to watch super troopers before you watch this probably not gonna happen?
Speaker 2:um, so they made super troopers. First of all they made puddle cruisers, which was fine, like it's a terrible movie, but it was funny enough that people were like we should give you a real movie. And then they made Super Troopers. And Super Troopers was a global phenomenon, unbelievable, great movie, very funny. And they were like here's a bunch of cash, go make another movie or something like that. And they made a horror parody Called Club Dread.
Speaker 2:And in honor of once again, I know what you did last summer. Two I still know what you did last summer. We're going to watch Club Dread.
Speaker 2:I think, I saw this, you saw this, but you didn't see Super Troopers. Dan, you got something wrong in your head, man. You got to watch Super Troopers for as long because I'm probably going to quote it a bunch next week while we're talking about how bad Club Dread is. But Super Troopers is great. I love Broken Lizard. Beer Fest is fun. Beer Fest Beer Fest is a different movie that they did later.
Speaker 1:Was Beer Fest the one where they go to. They go to munich or whatever and then they have to do yeah, they're in germany yeah, yep, loved, yes, loved it yeah, good, good comedy super troopers is a perfect movie. Beer fest is super good. The guy with the short hairs in there, he's very funny.
Speaker 2:He's very funny short hair, that doesn't. That describes so many people.
Speaker 1:He's like the guy with the buzz cut, kind of a bigger guy, kind of a Danny McBride kind of guy.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, that's how you describe as the guy with short hair.
Speaker 1:He's got like a buzz cut. It's not short hair, I mean he does, You're not wrong but that's not like.
Speaker 2:That's not his defining features.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Kind of a big guy. Uh any, yeah, kevin, kevin, hefferman, hefferman, hefferman, something like that, I don't know he's funny, great guy he's funny, very funny. Did you ever watch um their fireman show something pdp, fire, fd? No, I don't know. Fun show. Anyhow it, we're watching Club Dread.
Speaker 1:This is all a bunch of talk. Beer Fest is the one where they drink from the boot. Is that the boot one?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's funny, it's very funny. Yeah, that's a good movie. This one's not as good.
Speaker 1:Is Kumar the one Kumar guy in there?
Speaker 2:No, Are you talking about Jay? Maybe, I mean I Talk about Jay Maybe. I mean I don't know how to say Jay's last name. If I said it, I think it would be inappropriate for me to try.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, there's like an Indian guy, though, in the October Festival.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, his name is Jay Cranders. I'm not even close. Yeah, I feel bad. They're all very funny, funny guys, they're all very funny, they're all very funny, steve Lemme, they're all very funny, this movie, if it's as bad, I started it again this week because I was like I wonder if that was any good.
Speaker 1:It's not good, and we're going to watch it. Okay, we'll watch it.
Speaker 2:I mean, it can't be as painful as Amsterdam, because Amsterdam was like Nothing will be as painful as Amsterdam, unless we watch Bo is Afraid again, and then the second time might be worse.
Speaker 1:Are we going to do his movie? We might have to do his new movie he's got his new movie out.
Speaker 2:He has a new movie too.
Speaker 1:Why do?
Speaker 2:they keep letting these guys make movies.
Speaker 1:It's like Joaquin Phoenix is like a local sheriff in like a little. Of course he is Little. You know new mexico town or something and something goes on. Yeah, I watched the. A24 has like a podcast or whatever you know tv show. Sure, it was like ari aster and uh, bill hater talking and it was just like. I do love bill hater, bill's great, but he's, he's so far down the the self-possessed director world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I worry about him.
Speaker 1:Artists you know, kooky, if you like what you see, give us a subscription, a like, or leave us a message about how great Dan is and how Tony's a pain in the butt A Muppet. He's a Muppet, anything else to say before we say goodbye Tony is, and have Tony's a pain in the butt A Muppet. He's a Muppet. Anything else to say before we say goodbye?
Speaker 2:Tony, don't watch this movie. If you hadn't, chances are you have never heard of this movie. I had never heard of this movie before you brought it up to me. Just keep it that way. You don't need to watch it, guys. It's not worth it. It's not worth the time. It's over two hours.
Speaker 1:That's a long time, too much time. That's it. Goodbye everybody, dan and Tony.
Speaker 2:It's a watching game.