Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Interview With The Vampire: Emo Vamps, Campy Cruise and So Many Beautiful Men
Take a journey into the sumptuous yet flawed world of Anne Rice's vampires as Tony and Dan sink their teeth into "Interview with the Vampire," the 1994 adaptation that tantalized audiences but left many fans of the novel bloodthirsty for more.
The hosts explore how this gothic tale suffers from its reluctance to embrace the passionate relationships at its core. While Tom Cruise goes full throttle as the flamboyant Lestat and Brad Pitt broods intensely as the tortured Louis, their chemistry never ignites the screen with the intensity described in Rice's prose. But amidst these missed opportunities shines Kirsten Dunst, whose haunting portrayal of the child vampire Claudia steals every scene—a remarkable achievement considering her young age and the Hollywood heavyweights surrounding her.
With their trademark humor, Tony and Dan pick apart the film's logical inconsistencies while appreciating its sumptuous visual aesthetic and practical effects. They examine how the 1990s cultural context limited the film's willingness to explore its queer subtext, creating a strange dissonance where characters who should be deeply connected barely seem to like each other.
The discussion ventures into fascinating territory as they consider the nature of immortality, the horror of eternal stasis, and how the film's portrayal of vampirism differs from both its source material and other vampire stories that followed. Whether you're a devoted fan of Rice's vampires or just curious about this influential piece of 90s cinema, this episode offers bloody good insights into what makes "Interview with the Vampire" both memorable and frustrating.
What vampire films do you think better capture the sensuality and horror of immortality? Share your thoughts in the comments and join us next week when we'll be reviewing the 2025 adaptation of "Snow White."
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Get ready for some spooky vampires.
Speaker 2:They're just sad vampires, Stan. They're not spooky, they're just really really sad.
Speaker 1:No, they're sad.
Speaker 2:They're spooky, they're very emo.
Speaker 1:No, they're very spooky.
Speaker 2:I'm spooky in the sense, like boy. I hope I don't end up like them, because they're very sad.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Ain't Watching with Dan and Tony. I am Dan, I am Tony. On this show we talk about a movie that Shannon picked.
Speaker 2:Yay, Shannon. Shout out to Shannon.
Speaker 1:Friend of the show Shannon. Friend of the show. Shannon Occasionally watches the show. I've seen it happen.
Speaker 2:Does she really? I don't believe it.
Speaker 1:I've heard her. I don't know that she listens to the entire thing or all of them, but she has listened to some of them.
Speaker 2:Wow, I mean listen. That's pretty good for us, but she has listened to some of them.
Speaker 1:Wow, I mean listen. That's pretty good for us. On each show, before we start, we talk about the movie we watched last week.
Speaker 2:No, we'll talk about the movie in a minute.
Speaker 1:We don't do that segment Each week. Did you learn something new? Yes, I absolutely want to talk about something.
Speaker 2:All right, you finish your setup and then we'll go back.
Speaker 1:Shannon picked the movie, my wife, she picked it. She picked Interview with a Vampire, 1994, two hours and two minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it felt it.
Speaker 1:We don't.
Speaker 2:It did feel like the past. Sometimes they don't, but this did.
Speaker 1:But before we go into that, last week we watched Fountain of Youth and I was walking the dog and I was like you know what movies are about, you have characters and the characters have motivations to do something, and that's the whole idea of movies. Interesting concept.
Speaker 1:The typical good movie. The typical let me just say, the typical good movie. The character has a motivation and then they usually have a sub motivation. So their motivations, like I want to discover the lost city. But what I really want to do is I want to come to terms with my father's legacy.
Speaker 2:Okay, sure there we go. Did you re-watch lost city of z or whatever that's called? You should just have just said Lost City.
Speaker 1:I've watched some of that movie. It's a great movie. That's a very fun movie. I'm sure if we dissected that movie we would be like well, what is Sandra? Bullock's character wants a certain thing. What's-his-name's character wants a certain thing Channing.
Speaker 2:Tatum Channing Tatum wants a thing. Daniel Radcliffe, could Daniel Radcliffe, could you name the people in the movie, dan? They're very important to me, okay.
Speaker 1:All three of those people have different things they want and they intermesh and then they all get them or don't get them at the end, and through what they went through, and Brad Pitt.
Speaker 2:Look at that. That's seven. What is it? Bacon, seven layers of bacon, or whatever.
Speaker 1:There it is Brad Pitt in a role where he was acting, he learned and he didn't have marbles in his mouth. So if you don't, put marbles in the guy's mouth, he can act.
Speaker 2:This was a long time ago. He was still young, you know what I mean. He was still figuring it out.
Speaker 1:He said kind of when he signed on to the movie he felt like he had a lot to do. You know he had like he had an arc and there's a character arc for him. They don't do it, they talk about it occasionally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's correct, but he said kind of, when Tom Cruise came in as Lestat, his thing sort of disappeared and he was just standing around in the movie Because he really feels like he's just standing around.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately, I think the problem is like tom came in at a 12. Right, this is like cruise at a 12. I'm not saying it works. Let me be very, very clear. I'm not saying that that lestat works in this movie, but he is. He is going at a 12 like he is doing things. Whether they're appropriate or not we can discuss in a little bit. But I think brad was playing like a super under you know what I mean and tom's like super over. So I assume everyone was like oh, tom is doing the thing, tom is great. I feel like that's probably what happened. And then brad just felt lost in the shuffle.
Speaker 1:And in the reviews that's kind of everyone was like Tom Cruise is doing a thing and you're like, is he?
Speaker 2:Some people liked it, some people hated it, from what I could tell, but at the time it felt like more people liked it than didn't.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:From what I could tell you know it was a success.
Speaker 1:It was a successful movie.
Speaker 2:The long you know, the shannons of the world, who were diehard fans of the book were kind of like.
Speaker 1:I don't know well, there was a big backlash when tom was cast.
Speaker 2:From my understanding I remember that even ann rice was like I he's not lestat. And then eventually she came around to it. Whether that's true or not, I have no idea.
Speaker 1:I think she said that she came around to it. I do not believe she came around to it. Whether that's true or not, I have no idea. I think she said that she came around to it. I do not believe she came around to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that's fair. I have heard that the show the Lestat is much better. I don't want to say better because some people like Tom, but more book accurate maybe would be a proper term.
Speaker 1:They had the rights right. She sold the rights before the book came out, which is yeah, I don't even understand how that's possible.
Speaker 2:It's just awesome.
Speaker 1:It's amazing. And then she finally clawed them back and made the TV show and I read about the show and it's sort of interesting because the show takes place like a bunch of years after this movie and they sort of.
Speaker 2:Oh, interesting, he's back again.
Speaker 1:Louis is back talking to the reporter again. Oh he after he had talked to the reporter again essentially in this movie, I think or probably the book more accurately, because at the end of the movie Lestat is definitely taking him as a new concubine.
Speaker 2:So exactly, that's the the whole point. Is it sort of the movie Lestat is?
Speaker 1:definitely taking him as a new concubine. Exactly the whole point is it sort of deals with and then things don't exactly match up. So you're kind of like what's happening?
Speaker 2:What's going on, can we?
Speaker 1:trust super interesting, and they also talk about how it deals with gay and queer issues all over the place.
Speaker 2:And this movie, the book you mean right, or the show the new, and this movie, the book you mean right or the show, the new tv show and the book, and absolutely definitely yeah and not this movie, this movie is the least dealing with queer issues.
Speaker 2:It's, it's, it's painful how it is, they don't go anywhere near anything, it's yeah it's it. It is very 90s though because, like it's very of, it avoids it, like it doesn't condemn it, but it avoids it at all cost. Right, they're like we know, you know what we're talking about, but we're gonna keep it a secret, right, no one's gonna talk about it. Uh, if you understand it, you know you get it, but we're not gonna talk about it. I didn't like that. I just don't just Just embrace it.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, but they wanted to make a lot of money and they felt like, I mean, here 's Did it, it did well, it did well. Oprah Winfrey went and saw it left after 10 minutes because it was too gory and she felt it was demonic or something.
Speaker 2:Oh cool, this movie. Just that probably boosts sales. You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean, I guess, maybe when they ate the dogs, which was weird, that was weird.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, that was weird. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I don't know I didn't find this.
Speaker 1:That's a strange reaction. I didn't find this movie visceral at all. Well, it was the 90s right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know 90s, maybe we were much more innocent. I don't really remember that Because I mean I had already watched the Lost Boys, and that's way racier than this movie, you know. Because the Lost Boys and way better Years before this right Like a yeah oh, because this is what 94 right, and I think it was lost boys mid to late 80s, 86 or something, and the lost boys that's 87, so I mean still seven years before years.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, you know and and we'd have the shiny and not the shining salem's lot on tv, which I guess creeped a lot of people out. This movie is zero.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing, right, if you go back and you watch the tv, salem's lot from that time not scary at all, right, but it was scary at that point, at that time. So like in the 90s. We were just a different. We were less dissented, we were less pieces of shit. Let's just call it as it is we're terrible human beings now. We're getting worse and worse as time goes on yeah. So this movie it's it's not romantic it's not creepy, no, but it should be it should be.
Speaker 1:You know, like have these guys fall, you know, fall in love, you don't have to say it, but they don't even act like they're in love.
Speaker 2:they don don't act like it, and that is, I think, one of the biggest detriments of the movie, because the whole storyline kind of relies on that relationship and it doesn't really feel like a relationship ever. You know what. I mean None of the relationships feel like relationships If I remember correctly, and we should ask Shannon this I feel like in the book there's a lot of talk about like I love you more than life itself, like I feel like it's a deep, deep love. I could be wrong, but I'm I it's been.
Speaker 1:I haven't read it since high school, but I feel like it was much more infatuation yeah, and she said there was lots of making out between the men and there were sure implied you know funny business going on between them, funny business.
Speaker 2:As Dan avoids the topic, Butt play.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so you know, it just feels so soulless. I don't even think these guys like each other. I don't even feel like they like each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's not. There's no connection between them, which is a huge, huge problem. I mean, that's all you know what I mean. The whole movie hinges on that, in my opinion, and that is not there. Maybe not the whole movie. Once we get Kirsten Dunst in, the dynamic changes for sure Something starts happening, but the first hour of that movie needs to feel much more weighted with emotions.
Speaker 1:Kirsten Dunst shows up. Kirsten Dunst shows up and you're like, oh wow, People can act and interact and sort of have relationships. I wanted to ask you a question.
Speaker 2:Picture yourself as Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt can act and interact and sort of have relationships. I wanted to ask you a question. Yeah, picture yourself as Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. You are a mega Hollywood star, you are a leading man, and then an 11-year-old girl comes into your movie and acts, circles around you. How do you feel inside? Do you think that hurt emotionally?
Speaker 1:There was one scene where she I think it was in the theater and you know Louie's sitting there. She's sitting there and she's like acting with her eyes and he's just a dead fish sitting there.
Speaker 2:So the difference is right. Brad is just sitting there and they're like roll cameras on Brad. All right, reactions Great. And now, kirstirsten, could you maybe have a feeling? Could you think about something instead of just sitting there like a, like a goober? Um, yeah, you know, because acting is all about internalizing and feeling things. Um, and brad, I you know, maybe you just hadn't learned, but when was legends of the fall? Was that before or after this? Because I thought again haven't seen that since probably middle school, high school.
Speaker 1:Is that the horses or the fly fishing? The fly fishing, oh, I like that movie, tom Scare Right, me too, and I thought he was great in it.
Speaker 2:So I just I wonder if that was before or after.
Speaker 1:I don't know I think he was just checked out and I I think he just didn't. He didn't because I'm sure he just got. That note is like don't don't look at tom lovingly, don't do this, don't do that hey, hey, don't be gay.
Speaker 2:That's what they were saying the whole time you gotta tone the 90s were a wild time man. Uh, legend of the fall same. So I get first of all, he had a great year, probably monetarily, yeah, but that's interesting because I remember him being very good in that movie.
Speaker 1:Because that's real father and son relate, because it's two brothers and a dad. Right, yeah, him and Aiden Quinn, all this sort of relationship stuff.
Speaker 2:Anthony Hopkins, he did all that stuff Well it's also another stacked cast, I guess, but this is also a stacked cast. It's hard. This is tough. Yeah, it's hard because she's better than him. Oh yeah, it's just very noticeable. Well, my big problem with this movie is that it needs to be played like Shakespeare. Well, it's written like. Just the dialogue, is you know?
Speaker 1:Tries to be.
Speaker 2:Of the time, as you might say.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it just needs to be played, mannered and just like you know that was Victorian right yeah it is Victorian. Am I confusing?
Speaker 2:my time periods? No, no, because I don't actually know. I think it is Victorian. Now I confusing my time periods. No, no, because I don't actually know.
Speaker 1:Dan, I think it is Victorian Now. Victorian might be 1830s, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know what the I'm going to Google it right now. If I'm right, you owe me a steak dinner.
Speaker 1:What the exact breakdowns are, but I think Queen Victoria is like the 1830s and 40s. Maybe yeah, you're right, was she?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I don't know what post-Victorian is. This is sort of post-Victorian, who knows. But it needs to feel more mannered and like this yes. Because Christa Dunst comes in there and she brings the thing that I think Louis was supposed to be, which was the taste of what the new world is. Yes, you needed Lestat to be this mannered guy that falls in love with the rugged individualism of America.
Speaker 2:Sure, which is what they say he is.
Speaker 1:Does that help? It is what they say he is, and therein lies a Frisian. He wants to be doing this and then he's being this way. And then Claudia comes along and's even more of you know she's 30 years after him. I think she's even more just like, ah, the fire of America, and we don't get in that. We don't get any of that, we just sort of get. Tom Cruise feels like an American. He never feels like he's a 300-year-old vampire.
Speaker 1:Sure Right, you know, antonio kind of feels like a 400-year-old vampire. Sure Right, you know, antonio kind of feels like a 400-year-old vampire Kind of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he kind of does, he kind of does. It is interesting that they both have the same like motivations, though in the end Well, they all want the hot dude which the hot new young thang that's what they want.
Speaker 1:They want that new sweet ass.
Speaker 2:By the way, way, he is very pretty. Oh, you thought you thought brad was very pretty. Oh, very pretty. Yeah, I don't. I don't think he's like he's not hot, right, because for me, like you know, you got to be a little rugged to be hot, but like he's very pretty, very, very pretty shannon, did you read hate it all the way, hated all the wigs.
Speaker 1:She's like thought the wigs all well yeah fake and terrible and I'm like they didn't do anything. They didn't bother me that much.
Speaker 2:One way or the other, yeah.
Speaker 1:I was indifferent to the wigs.
Speaker 2:Some of them felt too wiggy, Like they're too. What's the word? Volumous? Is that?
Speaker 1:the right word. They had too much volume. Yeah, no, I agree. Thank you, smart way to do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like you gotta get its hair, guys. It's gotta be on your head a little bit, but it's fine Whatever.
Speaker 1:And then Kristen Dunst's Claudia. Her hair 10 out of 10.
Speaker 2:Just like beautiful.
Speaker 1:Just like whoa, I wanna look at this. This is a character I wanna look at. She always she felt opulent, she felt rich. You know they kind of people love the production design and you're like I love all the stuff around her. But then you know some of the stuff with them and the rooms and the pianos and the fake blowing. You're just like, oh my God.
Speaker 2:It's terrible. I mean listen, I thought it was a very nice looking movie.
Speaker 1:Okay, good.
Speaker 2:Okay, I did. I enjoyed it. I mean it's very gothic. It doesn't feel like a real world. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:But it's a vibe, for sure. Yes, now did you read that Anne Rice was upset when Tom Cruise was cast? Yes, and that one of the people she was looking at was tom hanks? Oh, I didn't read that she. Can you believe that shit?
Speaker 1:that would have been terrible, god they would have been so bad her own. Who she wanted her number one for list that was julian sands her number one?
Speaker 2:yes, but she mentioned in a Facebook article that she was after seeing Philadelphia she wanted to go after him for Lestat.
Speaker 1:I hated Philadelphia.
Speaker 2:Well, it's even a more depressing movie than this movie. It's not that it's depressing, it's just like-. Oh, that's my problem with movies.
Speaker 1:Just a court movie. It's like oh, it's a court movie, but like a sad court movie, but that's you know, but you always forget.
Speaker 2:You could say A Few Good Men is a court movie, dan, but that's not a sad court movie, that's a cool court movie. Do you not like A Few Good Men?
Speaker 1:I think I've maybe seen it once you can't handle the truth.
Speaker 2:It's great, dude. You should see it again.
Speaker 1:It's good I love court movies and I see I forget that they, you know, to sort of deal with the issues that they dealt with in philadelphia. They have you had to back into it through a court sure, yeah, yeah, that makes sense and you're just like. I just want to see the movie that's I want to.
Speaker 2:I want to. I just want to hear the story. I don just want to hear the story. I don't want to be told that yeah, I get what you're saying, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Just like this movie. They had to back into it and you got to the point where it's just like can you just show us what's really going on here, Except for I?
Speaker 2:love Christian Slater and was excited every time he was on the screen. He was okay. I'm not saying he was great, I'm saying I like him Not in the movie. I just really like Christian Slater Supposed to be.
Speaker 1:River Phoenix, but he died four weeks.
Speaker 2:Died four weeks.
Speaker 1:Christian Slater gave all of his money to charities.
Speaker 2:Yeah, pretty great. All very sad to me, everything about this movie. Very sad, dan, that's what I'm going to say about this movie.
Speaker 1:Very sad, dan, that's what I'm gonna say. It's all very sad. It's made you sad. Wow, it did.
Speaker 2:Tony had emotions like a human being I don't know if it's like a human being, but I had emotions, I did not um san francisco night.
Speaker 1:We're in a hotel. Here we have christian slater's character whose name is Daniel, which I do not believe we ever say. That name Took a long time to ever say. Brad's character's name who is Louis Once we get to Louis took a long time to ever say Lestat. We said Lestat, I think, before Louis, but it took a long time.
Speaker 2:So, dan, I'm 40 years old. This movie came out when I was about nine. This movie came out when I was about nine. Excellent, so from the age of nine to 40,. I have said it as Lestat because I did not remember this movie. I did not know his name was Lestat, so I've said it Lestat for 30 years.
Speaker 1:You just figured it, oh wow.
Speaker 2:When they said it in the movie, I was like Brad, you're saying his name wrong. And then it came to me that he probably wasn't saying his name wrong.
Speaker 1:It was wrong and then it came to me that he probably wasn't saying his name wrong. It was probably me and rice, probably standing there, probably saying how you're supposed to say the name correctly so he's going to be telling Christian Slater his life story. Why?
Speaker 1:yeah, why and that's my point found the youth. We don't know why any of those characters do what they do. The people in this movie. We don't know why any of those characters do what they do. The people in this movie, we don't know why they do anything. We do not understand louis. Um, he's not going anywhere, he's just.
Speaker 2:He's just pinballing around but also was was christian slater following him. Well, I was following.
Speaker 1:You said you were following. You were following everyone's following each other everyone's following everyone.
Speaker 2:Well, but why? Why?
Speaker 1:oh, it doesn't matter, we don't know. Oh, okay great.
Speaker 2:That was a very dramatic pause yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, this movie does this a few times where they're like it was the best of times. It was the worst of times it was the worst of times and then you have, you know, in tale of two cities, then you have this, this book that's really thick and we get to see the best of times, this thing and the worst of times, probably.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we do, yeah, oh yeah, I've never read it. I it's too big for me good book.
Speaker 1:Um, the point being is is they do some of these things at times, but then they don't show us either.
Speaker 2:Sure yeah 100%. I guess I'll trust you. You know what I'm saying. Like, if you tell me that, I'll just believe it for now.
Speaker 1:There it is. You believe it? 1791, I was 24. I was a man, new Orleans. I had a dead wife and a kid and I was suicidal because of that. So I'm boozing it up and I'm See, this is the whole setup. He's playing cards and then he has four aces. Which good luck. You're never going to get four aces in your whole life. The percentage is that very tiny. And you're like well, is he cheating or is he not cheating? The other guy accuses him of cheating, pulls out the gun. It's like I'm going to kill you.
Speaker 2:Then he's all like go ahead, put it right in the chest. Buddy, kill me, give me that shot on the chest.
Speaker 1:Why does the guy not kill him?
Speaker 2:I don't know, because he's chicken shit.
Speaker 1:We don't know. They don't answer that question.
Speaker 2:Well, you don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, well, you don't know. Well, he says you know you lack something of your convictions.
Speaker 2:I don't understand the words they speak. He should you know. Also, how do you know that those were aces?
Speaker 1:Those were like blank cards. As far as I could tell right, there's a single dot in the middle. That's an ace. That's an ace. Ace is a one.
Speaker 2:No, ace is like a zero. No, you're right. No, you're right. No, there is no one. I guess you're right. Wow Listen, I don't play a lot of Solitaire, Dan Okay. No that's cards. It's called cards. I don't play any backgammon. No, that's not cards. Is that cards?
Speaker 1:Backgammon no.
Speaker 2:Rummy 500.
Speaker 1:It has cards in it has cards in it also cards. I longed for death um but did he though?
Speaker 1:here's the thing I feel like it's probably really easy to kill yourself back in those days yeah, you know what I mean, yeah yeah, I'm just saying like, I'm not saying he should have or anything, but I just feel like maybe we're being a little disingenuous with the way we're saying these things yeah, so Lestat up in the second floor, falls in love with him, goes and saves him when he's about to be robbed, flies him up in the air only part of flying. We ever see him, do I believe?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, tom yeah.
Speaker 1:And he starts drinking him and then he drops him in the river. Yep, so he can decide to die if he wants to die in the river. I guess.
Speaker 2:No, I think it's after the river that he has to make the decision right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I mean-.
Speaker 2:It was confusing because he doesn't get to choose. He either has to drink back or not. Yeah, we'll talk about that decision, right. Yeah, but I mean it was confusing because he doesn't get to choose. He just he either has to drink back or not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll talk about how you get changed, right we'll talk about the choice thing in a second, but I mean, I think maybe him dropping him in the river. It's like, well, if you want to die, then just drown yourself to death, or something yeah, just stay in there, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you crawl out, I'll, I'll give you some of my juice.
Speaker 1:Some of my juice At home. He is sick. Lestache shows up and he's all like you're sick and you can't eat food because you're going to be a vampire. But I can give you another life, but I'm going to let you make a choice, A choice I never had. Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So he goes, he sees his final sunrise, or, yeah, his final sunrise. It's weird, it doesn't look like a sunrise.
Speaker 2:And it's also not like a good sunrise. No, they should have waited until they had like a really nice vibrant sunrise.
Speaker 1:I mean they should have shot a sunrise. It looked like a sunrise.
Speaker 2:Sure, I mean, it would have helped.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, he goes back there, uh, and then list that they get the big music and then it's time to choose and he kind of goes like yeah, whatever I'll do it, which is not what a guy that was longing for death would say.
Speaker 2:Very confusing.
Speaker 1:So we don't the initial, the big initial thing that sets up the entire movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Doesn't make any sense. I wanted to die. Someone told me I could die and instead I decided to live forever. That's the opposite. It's the complete opposite of what he said he wanted to do. Very confusing, unless he falls in love with Tom Cruise on sight, but we don't play that either.
Speaker 1:If he looked into his eyes and was mesmerized and just was like oh, you have to give us a look in your eyes and in your mouth, just like the, you know, because at the end, christian slater's like I want to be a vampire too. Yeah, once again, I don't buy it, he's just like no, I don't make any sense I want to have all that power and you know because?
Speaker 2:it sounds really cool when this guy has just been hours telling him what a torment it was being like my life is the worst, uh, and he's like I want that, I want to do that, I want to be sad for 200 years give it to me.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't do it that way. I'd be like one of the cool vampires and ride a motorcycle.
Speaker 2:Well, that's, isn't that what we all think? You know, we always think we're gonna be one of the cool ones, and then we're just not.
Speaker 1:No no, vampire comes at me, I'm like, no, no kill, I do not want to be a vampire, I don't want to live forever.
Speaker 2:I think I'm in.
Speaker 1:You want to live forever.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I'm not against it With that beard, do you want that?
Speaker 1:beard growing back like that every time.
Speaker 2:I mean I would shave better before it happens.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It would be like a Santa Claus, where he shaves and just curls right back. I could be a part of that. I want to see what the future holds. You know like where does this planet go? Because right now we're on a bad track. Does it make it another hundred years?
Speaker 1:I'm curious. You want to sit through a hundred to see how terrible it goes.
Speaker 2:That's like that's exciting to you. If I could choose, I would time travel. If we had a time machine, I would just hop 100, 100, 100 and just check it out. That would be more what I would prefer, but if my only option is live forever, I'd take it.
Speaker 1:Wow, Tony wants to live forever Dan.
Speaker 2:Let me be very clear I'm not going to kill people. I will eat off animals.
Speaker 1:You just have a big dead pile of rats.
Speaker 2:Well, I was thinking, and I don't really know, you don't have to drain something all the way, right? So if I farmed cows?
Speaker 1:They implied that that one did it again, and I just drained cows yeah sure.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Like I could just have a little suckle on a cow, have a little suckle on a cow, and then they're all fine still. And we lived for 20 years until they give me little cows. What are those? Called Calves?
Speaker 1:So you're going to live out or you're going to have, like, your own farm where you eat the cows?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I would live off the land, you know, because also, I don't want people around too much because I would probably eat them, because I don't think I have the best self-control, as you can see from my large stature Like, if people tasted as good as chocolate does, I'd be in real trouble. You'd be eating people. I'd be eating people left and right, never stopping. So I got to be isolated on a farm with some cows.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So he's now a vampire. His body dies. He goes back as a vampire. We get a few more rules, some vampires can read minds.
Speaker 2:It's not really a rule, though, is it? You know, like some people can do some stuff, Other people do other stuff. You know who knows.
Speaker 1:Whatever?
Speaker 2:suits the story.
Speaker 1:I said to Shannon is there magic in this? And she's like I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm like that's about right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just like so much of this movie's kind of like that you're just like well, this sort of rules, you know, crucifix is no coffins. Yes, why, why coffins? There's no explanation as to why, you know. I mean, can you just sleep in some place that's dark and safe?
Speaker 2:I think so, because I don't think tom has a coffin at the end, right? No, well, right, so he's just in a cabin that is dark. I, I don't know it's, it's loosey-goosey for sure go see um.
Speaker 1:So yeah, now they're vampires and okay, they're vampires, um, and then we start eating ladies at the bar. They they kill a girl somewhere and then just throw three coins on the table. I'm sorry, there is no situation. You know, this one's one of those things where it's like we killed two or three people a night and we just left bodies laying around everywhere. It's like no, this is too much.
Speaker 2:The 1700s were wild.
Speaker 1:That's what I heard I think Jack the Ripper killed like nine people and he was the biggest story in the world.
Speaker 2:He's still famous now he didn't kill 100 people.
Speaker 1:I don't think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they did. They killed hundreds.
Speaker 1:I think it was like nine people. So you leave nine people laying around, which is what they're going to do in three fucking days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because he says twice a day, right, two or three people a day. Yeah, like that's a lot of people. We should do that math at some point.
Speaker 1:It's a lot of people, and I also said this they're always living in the lap of luxury. They always have infinite amounts of money, and I said that, yeah, I'm curious about the lap of luxury they always have infinite amounts of money, and I said that to Shannon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm curious about the money as well. Where did that all come from? Because they never work.
Speaker 1:This is what Shannon said. She's all like oh, you can't worry about that, you know. Oh, I'm like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2:You got to give us a line.
Speaker 1:You know where it's like I had a. You know he, tom Cruise, pulls out some gold or something or he kills somebody that has a bunch of whatever Sure, give us a line. He's like and whenever we need money, we need someone wealthy, we need someone of the aristocracy, whatever.
Speaker 2:Just give us a line. Dan loves he needs a line. Everybody you got to give him a line.
Speaker 1:Need a line, just because then I don't have to think about it. And so when they go, if you give us one line, then they can go to a thousand cities and a thousand lifetimes and you're like, well, that's how they have the money.
Speaker 2:No, okay, all right, dan here we go yeah so if they, if they lived for 300 years, okay, the two of them. There's two vampires. That is 300 times 365 for days, times three for how many times I eat, times two for how many vampires. That is 657,000 people in 300 years. That is more than the population of Minneapolis, where I grew up.
Speaker 1:Two-thirds of a million people they're going to have to kill over 300 years, feels like a lot. That's a lot of trail for an effective animal.
Speaker 2:I feel like someone will notice. Someone's going to notice, yeah.
Speaker 1:And in later vampire things they talk about that. You mesmerize them, you drink some, you don't kill them. You get people that work for you that like being drained, you know many things, and so they like it. But they want to have this big sexy line that they're killing two to three people a day.
Speaker 2:It's just too many. It's just too many people, okay.
Speaker 1:So Louie, so they're there at dinner after they killed this one girl. And then Louis, you know they're sitting there and Lestat picks up a rat, kills it, drains it into a glass and then gives it to Louis, kind of unprovoked. Louis drinks it and then he realizes that you can live off of animal blood and not human blood. And then he's all like, okay, now I'm going to stop taking human lives, I'm going to do that.
Speaker 2:Right yeah, I'm going to do that. Right yeah, I'm going to do that. That sounds way better because I'm full of guilt. But he hasn't been full of guilt, he hasn't expressed this guilt at all, but he told you about it when, just now, when he was like oh, we can do this.
Speaker 1:I don't want to do this anymore because I'm guilty, because I was guilty yesterday, because I've been feeling guilty, even though we didn't talk or see it, I've been feeling it. The whole idea is you set up the situation and then you, then you have the resolve. You don't do the resolve and then explain oh yeah, I have the situation, so, so that resolve you just set up for me, I'm gonna go with dan.
Speaker 2:The movie's already over two hours. Okay, we gotta move along.
Speaker 1:He's telling us the thing afterwards. Just tell us it before. It's not very hard it seemed pretty difficult. I don't know about you okay, uh, so he's not eating anymore. We talk about the two to three tonight, but the stats? Aat's a snob. He likes to kill society people. Once again, this is New Orleans. There's not 10,000 people in society If you're killing two or three people in society every night.
Speaker 2:Society is going to notice really quick, they're going to know and it's going to be gone pretty soon there's just not that many available. So that is the exact wrong thing to do. Not that I'm condoning killing poor people Kill poor people. But in that situation, if you're doing three a day you kind of got to you can't hit the people that people are going to notice right away.
Speaker 1:Then we have this really weird throwaway line, which is a throwaway line that offended me. Uh-oh, we look for evildoers, because evildoers tasted better.
Speaker 2:Sure, but then we never-. No, they don't. We never dealt with this evildoer.
Speaker 1:You know who they like. They like young little boy. They like young people. They like a girl that's 21 years old and never had sex. That is who they like, that is exactly who they like. You know, the pure blood you know, they like purity, they do not like evildoers.
Speaker 2:No, it's very weird that that I don't even remember, that being said, to be honest, because it probably just didn't make a lick of sense.
Speaker 1:Nope, doesn't make sense in the movie. So then we go to the society thing. He picks up this old lady that's got a young guy, and then we set up this whole thing where she killed her husband. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:Because she's an evildoer.
Speaker 1:Because she's an evildoer. They march her outside, they eat the boy and then the old lady's like oh, I'm so old, why are you interested in me. And then he's all like because I'm going to eat you, louis does.
Speaker 2:And then he's like I changed my mind I'm gonna eat you or instead I'm gonna eat your sweet little dogs. I didn't like it.
Speaker 1:I didn't like that at all normally you kill some dogs in a movie. I am, I hate your movie. I instantly hate your movie. This one I'm like whatever I don't.
Speaker 2:It was weirdly ineffectual. Yeah, I agree, but it was still like a weird choice for me. I wasn't. I wasn't mad because normally I would be mad, but I was just like what? This is weird because? And then they kill her anyhow, like the snap her neck, which is pretty cool. Um, I don't know, it's a weird. It's a weird movie it's a weird movie.
Speaker 1:It's a very weird movie. Uh, dr pistol stack kills her pissed, everyone's pissed. Uh, he's all like life without me would be. Even.
Speaker 2:Oh, he starts eating chickens, the local that's the line that bothers me the most is life. What does he say?
Speaker 1:he says life without me would be even more, even more unbearable right and we didn't.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I agree with that.
Speaker 1:He said I haven't seen. No, I know, but yeah.
Speaker 2:And I just haven't seen evidence that Louis would be worse off without him. No, I feel like the opposite is true. So it's just a weird line, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Louis is much happier when he's wandering around. Even when he's like looking for vampires in Europe and can't find them, he's happier. He's much more happier.
Speaker 2:he just likes to wander and just chill like he's. That's kind of him. You know he's just a homebody in a way. You know he doesn't like to socialize and go out and eat fancy people he's eating the chickens. The locals get riled up, so many chickens, by the way, just like a hundred chickens. Is that how many chickens it takes to satisfy you in one night? I'm confused on how long this is going on, but it's a whole coop of chickens just bloodied, um he wants.
Speaker 1:Louis wants to know the meaning of it all. Like what? What is the vampirism? What does vampirism mean? And you're kind of like you're not, you're never going to get good answers to that, but you know. But Lestat won't give him answers, he's like I'll, I'm not telling you anything, cause that's my secret?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the thing is, he makes it seem like there is one, and I just don't believe that to be true and you're not.
Speaker 1:You're not wholly convinced that that's what louis is missing yeah, no, not at all um what's that takes off. The servant girl comes in, which I think is sandy newton okay, so we she's definitely in the movie I saw her in the credits and I was like I don't remember her being in it.
Speaker 2:Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1:That's got to be her.
Speaker 2:Good for her. I wonder if this is how she got mission impossible. I wonder if Tom and her like hit it off and then he was like, hey, come do mission impossible with me. That's cool.
Speaker 1:Good for her. Um, he nib, and then she freaks out, and then the workers attack and then he's like this place is cursed, I'm the devil, and he sets his house on fire. The stats comes back, and this is which is cool.
Speaker 2:It's a cool scene he is genuinely lighting a place on fire, like I'm sure it's not a house, but like he's running through that flame set, shit, shit.
Speaker 1:I was like, wow, practical effects are scary but cool and it seemed like it was brad pitt and it felt like he was.
Speaker 2:It was all it had to have been yes, yeah, which is the only time in the whole movie, maybe, that he's active, and it might just be real fear from from the actor himself being like I gotta get the fuck out of here. This place is on fire.
Speaker 1:Lights his wife's painting on fire.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, interesting. Is that a symbol of something? I don't really understand it. It's above my head.
Speaker 1:I don't know. And once again, if he is a homosexual guy, maybe he's not mourning his wife, maybe that was freedom and maybe he's conflicted because them dying has finally offered him freedom. You know, there's a lot of whatever.
Speaker 2:Interesting.
Speaker 1:We're never going to talk about any of that stuff.
Speaker 2:Right, that's not a part of this movie.
Speaker 1:So Lestat jumps back in and says another line pissed me off.
Speaker 2:Burn everything we own.
Speaker 1:He's pissed off he says we, he says we. I listened to it twice, I know.
Speaker 2:And you're kind of like yo, bro, this is his plantation, I guess, yeah, you don't own shit, guy, it's not yours, Get out of here. Yeah, well, he thinks it is Well because they're in love. So you know common law, marriage and whatnot.
Speaker 1:Yep, there it is. So he saves Louie and they have to go to a filthy cemetery to sleep because their coffins are burned, and then Louie's all like we belong in hell.
Speaker 2:I suppose I mean I don't disagree.
Speaker 1:They move to the waterfront. They eat a couple of hot lady, bleeds her into a glass, tips Louis with it Classic vampire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, louis's out there eating rats. There's a plague in town. He goes to the plague area and he finds a dead woman with a small child. He goes over to the small child, small girl. She's all like, yeah, please help us. And then he vamps her. Yeah, and then Lestat's been following him around like creeping on him and he is happy. So what he's going to do is he's going to turn this little girl into a vampire.
Speaker 2:In order to trick his boyfriend into staying. That's basically what's happening here. He's pulling the goalie metaphorically, and I love it.
Speaker 1:Somebody falls asleep in a sewer and then I think what's happening here? He's pulling the goalie metaphorically and I love it. Somebody falls asleep in a sewer and then I think what's his name? Louis takes off and he falls asleep in the sewer and then he's all like how did you find me? And he's like I just followed the corpses of the rats. Yeah, so they're going to turn Claudia into a vampire and she gets off which?
Speaker 2:is pretty messed up, by the way.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, very sad storyline here. And she's like drinking too much off of Lestat and Lestat's like get off of me girl.
Speaker 2:Because she's a kid. She doesn't know how to control herself, just like me.
Speaker 1:Then they say where's my mom Gone to heaven? Bl, blah, blah, blah. And so Louis has decided to stay for the girl and it sort of becomes my two gay dads.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but only we don't talk about it.
Speaker 1:She becomes a fierce killer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, well, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1:She shows up and we finally have some tension in the movie.
Speaker 2:We have a thing that's going on in the movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah Right, he's made this little girl who is active right and sort of mischievous at times and problematic at times.
Speaker 2:And just does stuff.
Speaker 1:And then they have to sort of father, I mean Louis. The stat doesn't, but Louis does. Louis has to sort of be here you know kind of deal with her Kills, like a lady making her her dress. Then we do this whole weird thing where she has her own coffin but she creeps into Louis' coffin once she's gotten her rest. She has her own coffin but she creeps into Louie's coffin once she's gotten her rest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like when the kids crawl into their parents' bed to sleep, you know, because they I don't know bad nightmares, or something.
Speaker 1:And the one rule is never kill people in the house.
Speaker 2:Which is very funny. It's good, it's a good rule. You know that's a good way to get caught.
Speaker 1:And she's out there like luring ladies in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2:She's like, sits on a bench and cries and the women come over there and she eats them. Oh my, that's funny. Yeah, and I would be interesting to me as if louis had to deal with the fact that he created someone that is then killing people, even though he didn't want to kill people it's interesting concept, but yeah, it'd be interesting is he living on rats now, or is he eating people again? No, once he kind of just goes back to eating people.
Speaker 1:I think once they're all together, I'm pretty sure it's to the expedient typical parent just doing the expedient thing giving the kid the ipad we'll do whatever you want, okay, all right, stop crying yeah chicken mcnuggets every meal okay fine, hell yeah this. They have this nice little, this, this little uh montage where there's man Chicken McNuggets every meal Okay fine, hell yeah. They have this nice little montage where there's a guy teaching her piano. She goes doll shopping, she eats the doll guy and then she eats the piano teacher.
Speaker 1:I wrote funny, that was great. They see this whole family, you know, like man, woman, kids, baby, and then they imply that they ate all of them, yeah, including the baby.
Speaker 2:Including the baby, which is like just a little appetizer, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's a sexy lady bathing in an open window. I'm like what's going on with this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I still don't really know. I mean it's very sad. This is like the second most sad thing in this movie to me. Oh really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sexy lady bathing, pure Creole a little little. What's her name says I want to be her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is when she realized, starts to realize that she's never going to grow up, she never gets to experience adulthood, she's just stuck as a child for entire. That's a very sad notion to me yeah, it is uh.
Speaker 1:30 years later she's still a girl, but she's not a child.
Speaker 2:Lestrat is still buying her dolls it's kind of weird which seems weird. Yeah, it seems it's been a long time. Guy, Mentally she's not a child. You know that because you're 300 years old, You're not an idiot.
Speaker 1:So he's like I'm going to throw away all your dolls and they dig through there.
Speaker 2:And under all the dolls is the Creole girl Smoking hot dead body and he rages at her.
Speaker 1:He cuts her hair and then her hair just comes back. Well, she cuts her hair and then her hair just comes back and she cuts her hair.
Speaker 2:She cuts it, yeah, as like an act of defiance or something, because she's like you, dress me like a doll. I'm never going to change this. She cuts her hair and it just grows right back. That would be upsetting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, unless you had beautiful hair like her.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, my hair.
Speaker 1:If I got turned into a vampire now and I was just bald for 300 years, I'd be pissed. Yeah, you'd have to be sad for you. And then she wants to know how to make a vamp and Lestat's like no, not going to tell you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can't. Yeah, which is the right call, by the way, because she'd probably just make 100 friends and then it would be crazy town.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that would be crazy town they go. She wants to go back to the plague house and she's like I don't know how it was created, and then she finds out that they both did it, so she's pissed at both of them, and but once again they just start back together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then she's like I can't stay mad at you. Yeah, that's pretty much it. That's the resolution of that.
Speaker 1:So basically, the two of them are sick of Lestat.
Speaker 2:And so, claudia, you should be.
Speaker 1:Claudia finds some, and this is an interesting scene. She finds these two twin boys and then she's all like I gave him a little bit of wine. He's like they're all for you, lestat, and he's all like for me, for me. And then she gives him this look where you're like you know that she's up to no good, she just gives this, I'm up to no good, and then Lestat just totally misses it.
Speaker 2:And that's the point, he that he asks uh, do we forgive each other? And then, you know, she says yes and gives him that look where it's like no, no, but he just dives right in so he's either dense or he's dense he might just not understand women, dan. Okay, they are a confusing group, all right so it turns out that she's she.
Speaker 1:They're both dead, but she's giving them laudanum which keeps them warm and so he's.
Speaker 2:I don't know what any of that means, but I was like, okay, I'll just ride along here laudanum's like uh.
Speaker 1:It's like uh, what is laudanum it's? It's like I think it might come from like an opium thing. So you're going to get. You're going to be like stoned. If you're a laudanum, I think you're like stoned, but euphoric. I think that's what laudanum is like.
Speaker 2:That sounds fun.
Speaker 1:I'm sure if we look it up you'll be like oh, I'm sure it's like a poppy extract or something.
Speaker 2:I also don't know how to spell it, so I was like eh, too much work.
Speaker 1:L-A-U-D-E-N-A-U-N. I think maybe.
Speaker 2:It sounds like you just made up 19 more letters than there should be in the word.
Speaker 1:we were talking about you don't know what you're talking about. And then they slit his throat. And then they she's smiling as she's bleeding out on a nice scene. The blood of his blood is covering the carpet and they have to step back so that the blood doesn't get on his feet.
Speaker 2:She's like lift me up so that she doesn't get blood on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's pretty great you know, and that's the thing about this movie you're like oh, there's scenes like that, that you're like oh, okay, things are, there's some really nice moments.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's some really nice moments. Yeah, there's some really nice moments. There's a lot of beautiful shots. There's some good stuff in here. Tom Cruise isn't part of it. Brad Pitt's, I mean. Listen, I'm not saying they're terrible.
Speaker 1:But they're not great. It's not a terrible movie. But you could. No, it's not a terrible movie. There's a lot of parts that are incredibly boring.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not a terrible movie. There's a lot of parts that are incredibly boring. Oh yeah, yeah, you can't say that about the found a youth.
Speaker 2:It wasn't boring. It wasn't boring, but I was mad the whole time. I think I I don't know which one I would pick. To be honest, they're both frustrating in their own ways yeah um, that's a lie. I'd rather be bored than angry, because they keep messing it up.
Speaker 1:I'd rather enjoy the fun of Kristen Dunst's character.
Speaker 2:That was more fun than anything in.
Speaker 1:Fountain of Youth by a factor of 10. Did you see that in the thumbnail for the Fountain of Youth I put the drumming octopus in the background of the thumbnail? No, I didn't. It's very small so you can't see it. But I put the drum and octopus back there.
Speaker 2:Oh, dan, you're obsessed. I love it. Good for you. That's what we call an Easter egg everybody.
Speaker 1:Right when he turns Louis into the vampire, he's like ah, you have all these magic powers and you can see things. And the thing he sees he looks at the statue, and statues, like eyes, are like looking around, then it closes its eyes yeah, it's weird it's weird and I said to shannon what we needed was we needed like a scene of louis falling in love with the vampirism yes, and just being.
Speaker 2:It has to be magical. It has to be like a beautiful, magical feeling and you want to keep that up. So how do you do that? You got to drink some blood.
Speaker 1:We give it about. It could be 90 seconds because, just like I said, the piano teacher, dollmaker killing the dollmaker killing the piano teacher. That was not a long. You know, this was not a bunch of stuff that we were wasting time on. We just need to see that he's interested in being a vampire and that it's selling him something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's something about it that he likes, in spite of the fact that it kind of sucks.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Yeah, if you're not having him fall in love with the dude, you got to have him fall in love with vampirism.
Speaker 2:He doesn't fall in love with anything. Well, he falls in love with the girl, yes, the daughter, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:But it's not. But also it's a platonic love.
Speaker 2:It's just it's I don't tell that to all the creeps out there that are like oh the kiss, oh the kiss. Was there a kiss? I mean we should, we'll wait, we'll, let's wait, we'll tell me towards the end of the movie. I don't have the kiss written in here, so I don't know what it is. You don't have the most infamous kiss in movie history written in here.
Speaker 1:Wow, no the most infamous kiss in movie history is the one in Blank Check.
Speaker 2:No, I don't think so. I think it's Blank.
Speaker 1:Check Tony.
Speaker 2:First of all Blank.
Speaker 1:Check that one is awesome. Exactly, first of all, absolutely, that one is awesome. Okay, because, exactly because that's all the creepy guys that love that one. Uh, this is where I'm gonna be.
Speaker 2:Duff is going for me and they never did. I just I don't understand what I was doing wrong back then. Damn um.
Speaker 1:so they take him, they wrap him up in a carpet, they take him to to the swamp. It's just so good they push him in there with the reptiles.
Speaker 2:Into the gators.
Speaker 1:And the gator rolls into the thing. I was like I like this. They're going to go to Europe. They study what they need to do. They're getting ready. It takes them a month to get all their shit together. They're going to set their two birds free, the doorbell rings together. They're going to sit there, two birds free, the doorbell rings. He's like that must be the carriage. He goes to the doorbell. There's nobody there. I'm like oh no, oh no, here we go. You know, and that's the thing when a scene breaks out in this movie, it could be a scene. Yeah. You're like oh, okay, I'm into it. You know, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Speaker 2:Let's, let's go, let's do this. There's list at playing the piano and then he gives like this is my, this is visually my favorite scene. Oh, you like that. He's got that. He's got. The drapery is like around. He's got that old, terrible, scary makeup and he's just tickling the ivories. It is. It's so gothic and iconic. I love it so much I hate that.
Speaker 1:I hate the alligator, the snakes, the toads and the putrid life of the mississippi, but he can barely get you know, I don't buy it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean if, if you had, yeah, listen, I think tom cruise is a great actor, as we I'm sure we've talked about many times. I love Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1:He can do. Certain actors can do certain things very, very well. Yes, 100%.
Speaker 2:That doesn't mean, everyone can do everything and that's okay.
Speaker 1:No, that's all right.
Speaker 2:Some people can do everything. Who, who, dan? Are you talking about me? You're sweet, you're just a sweet, sweet guy.
Speaker 1:If they're funny and stupid. Yes, so very, very specific, got it okay, cool. I mean, that's that's the thing. If you're acting and tony, you can act. That's the thing it. People may not understand it, but I've seen it. I've seen it.
Speaker 2:I always talk about it I always talk about we.
Speaker 1:We did this one improv once class and they were doing Meisner. Right, Was it Meisner we were doing?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you were doing Meisner and it's just saying the same line. You get two people saying the same line.
Speaker 2:I've told this story before, but it's one of my favorite stories of all time because I learned so much that day I learned as much, and it's also one of the only nice things you say about me, so you tell the story anytime you want to, dan. And so Tony was up there with somebody and each time Tony said the line, he told a different joke, which is the name of the game. By the way, people Tell a different joke with every line. I'm just doing a better job than other people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, you mean, that is what you're trying to get to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, you mean that is what you're trying to get to? Yes, in that exercise. That's what you're trying to learn in that exercise is like how to deliver a line differently and get a different type of joke. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:But you weren't like. I want to do it now.
Speaker 2:Or.
Speaker 1:I want to do it now. You weren't doing funny voices to get your laughs, you were emoting and putting intention behind each line and it became funny and it was it was a beautiful thing to see it. It was, you know I wasn't the only one laughing there were. You know everybody was was into it. I don't know if they all understood what was happening, but now, somebody did probably it was great, it was, it was super nobody at the groundlings because they kicked me out of the groundlings.
Speaker 2:That's not even true technically. You know what I mean. I technically graduated from groundlings.
Speaker 1:I also don't think that they care about acting.
Speaker 2:They also didn't seem to like me, dan. Okay, I've tried to be friends with a bunch of them. I follow them around and I call them on their I'm kidding.
Speaker 1:Never seen a single one of them, since Acting is a weird thing, you know, acting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean acting is weird, so and we, I don't know why we do it. It's dumb. Anyhow, back to what we were talking about, I just don't think Tom was the right choice. No that was a long-winded way, Like I applaud him for going for it, because he did Like he's trying stuff and he's given, you know, a lot of something.
Speaker 1:I just never think it lands right. It's just not the. And Tony does have some deficiencies. He can't do, he's not great at regional accents and he knows I'm so bad at accents he knows not to go there and that's the thing is the person that needed to play Lestat, needed to do something, they needed to exist in some sort of different space, and he kind of and I guess at one point Brad Pitt was like well, we need to switch roles and I'll play Lestat and you'll play Louie and you're like Tom Cruise would have been a better Louie.
Speaker 2:I actually agree with that notion. Someone should have let Brad do that. At least try it.
Speaker 1:Because he is more of an embodiment of the age.
Speaker 2:For sure Of America? Yeah, for sure he's a very American energy. Yeah, and you know, unfortunately in this movie, when he's not supposed to be.
Speaker 1:You know, and if Brad Pitt is like being weird and aloof and strange and, like you know, if he was to reach over there and touch Tom Cruise's face, tom would be like you know, there would be like a Frisian there where you know, it would be interesting and I, I think, I think he could be more seductive in with with less, because Tom Cruise was never seductive, he never tried to be seductive.
Speaker 2:So and that's, that is a big I don't want to say problem, but like that's a big thing for me is because we're all supposed to fall in love with him. He's even in the movie. He says nobody could resist me and I'm like I think I could. I really do think I could. Like if someone put me to that test, I think I'd pass it pretty easily and that's a problem. But I do think you're right. If Brad looked at me with those eyes and was sexy, like if he was emoting sexuality, I think I'd fall for it.
Speaker 1:And I could buy the character he's playing as a 300-year-old guy. That's completely disaffected. And then he just adds a little bit of mustard in there about being interested in, it's like I'm so tired I get whatever I want, but you're what I want, you're like oh okay, I can feel that he wants something.
Speaker 2:Okie dokie, come on over. Red Rover, red Rover, send Brad right over.
Speaker 1:But nope, but um nope. So they set him on fire, and that was that might have been my biggest laugh of the movie. When they set up on fire, I was like you got problems that was funny.
Speaker 2:I love it. He's burning to death and you're like this is comedy everybody very good.
Speaker 1:Uh, they run, they get to the boat and then they. Then we have another classic line. That is so weird. They're sailing without us and you're like, wait a second, not a lot of time has passed and you, your carriage, was how are they sailing without you? I don't understand.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I dan, I can't. I can't get over this. Let's real quickly.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're a good actor.
Speaker 2:God, let it go and cut and print. That's going to stay in my thoughts forever. Thanks, dan. The thought of reversing roles Like I wish that they would I would love to see even now. I think we should do that now, like 30 years later. Let's reverse it and let's see how that goes, because we're both still acting. Ai can do it. Or AI can do it, because isn't that what happened in Pineapple Express? Wasn't like the Seth Rogen and the Dave Franco roles? Didn't Seth write that role for himself? And then?
Speaker 2:for whatever reason they decided to switch because Franco's always a straight man and then that just worked. It just worked really well with Seth being the straight man and Franco not, and I don't know. I just think sometimes maybe we get too stuck on our ways, you know, try something new.
Speaker 1:They get on the boat. Oh, that's what I wanted to do. I wanted them to run onto the boat and then we could have this hilarious scene where they're trying to get the boat to get moving. Okay, okay, okay, sail, sail. That's how I would have directed that scene.
Speaker 2:Well, that would have been a very different movie, but I would have loved it.
Speaker 1:New Orleans burns up you know another death for Lestat Okay.
Speaker 2:I mean, but they burn down like a whole town you know Like it's a lot of fire. I don't know, it's not good.
Speaker 1:It's not good. They get to Europe, there's a volcano, they walk around a lot, nothing's happening. And finally Brad is walking in the Paris streets, september 1870. And here comes this weird guy in a top hat and he starts mirroring his actions and then he starts walking up the walls and dancing and then he knocks his hat off. Shannon hated this scene, hated it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I loved it, oh Dan. It wasated it. I loved it, oh Dan.
Speaker 1:I loved it. I'm like what is happening? Where are we? This is weird.
Speaker 2:I think the difference for you two is she had that exact same reaction, but just in a very different way. The words she said were the exact same, but we say it more like what is happening? Why is this happening? Who is this idiot?
Speaker 1:And then Antonio Banderas shows up. He walks over, gives him a card for the theater of vampires.
Speaker 2:Which is weird. But okie doke.
Speaker 1:Boom, we cut to the vampire theater scene. I think this was a scene I liked the most in the movie.
Speaker 2:I get that.
Speaker 1:We do a couple little bits where they chop some people in half. This guy falls in the well, and then they drag out this young lady that we all know is a real victim, and then she's like someone help me, and then they strip her down.
Speaker 2:Which feels very unnecessary, by the way.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, no, very enjoyable, Thank you.
Speaker 2:Very enjoyable. Thank you, vampires.
Speaker 1:If I'm going to terrorize a woman, she's going to be naked on the stage with all of my friends around.
Speaker 2:That's very weird. I don't know. I don't know about it. They're vampires that's very weird. I don't know. I don't know about it. They're vampires. They should be weird vampires. I mean, they are weird. They're already weird. That guy was doing mime stuff in the alleyway dan, he's already weird.
Speaker 1:Nobody likes him I mean, if you're gonna sell me on vampirism, you know, show me this thing. I'm like, well, now I'm thinking about it now, let's okay.
Speaker 2:Vampire may not be so bad. You got my interest.
Speaker 1:This is a little stage play. I could do that every night, that'd be fun I.
Speaker 2:There's no way that it's gonna run for very long, because people are gonna realize that those people are now missing I know nonsense the implications of everything.
Speaker 1:It's just like you have a whole theater where you do this every night.
Speaker 2:How is that working? You have 100 to 200 witnesses where the cops will be like, hey, what happened to that girl? And they're like, well, they murdered her on stage. I think it was fake, but now she's missing, so it was probably real officer.
Speaker 1:And there's one lady in the thing where she's all like take me. And they're like we'll do you later.
Speaker 2:Which was great that was a fun little because you know people are fucked up People are weird, yeah.
Speaker 1:So boom, boom, armand comes up, he bites her and you know, louis is like monstrous. He does not like it and he throws her back. They pick her up and she's descended upon by all the vampires.
Speaker 2:Just visually great, oh yeah, when they all close in like yeah, visually stunning. I was a little confused because he kept talking about how they were going to make her their bride and then they tore her to pieces. So that was a lie.
Speaker 1:I think bride is synonymous with lunch.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see. Okay, yeah, I'm going to have bride pretty soon.
Speaker 1:There it is, Ah damn. That's a joke. They've got to keep track of Tony's jokes.
Speaker 2:We can end this episode now. I'm all good, let's just wrap it up.
Speaker 1:They go downstairs. Beautiful set, that's where they live. They live down there, and so we start talking about what is a vampire, what's not a vampire. Does God exist, does God not exist? I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you know, what is there to know?
Speaker 2:Nobody knows the answers. You know, yeah, I mean, what is there to know? Nobody knows the answers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they leave, they go back to their apartment and then Claudia's like Louis wants Armand and Armand wants Louis. Were you surprised?
Speaker 2:I was a little surprised.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I won't say I was surprised, I just didn't. I didn't read any of that you didn't feel that yeah, like I want to feel that I didn't feel it I would like to feel it.
Speaker 2:Uh, because when she said, I was like are you sure, are you saying the names right? Because I didn't feel any of that tension whatsoever and that's you know once again.
Speaker 1:That is, that is taking all of the, the gay stuff just so far out of it that you have to have this other character explain that these two characters are now in love with each other. You're like wait, yeah, wait what happened? Sure, I don't think so yeah, and once again you had to have shown at least some of it. You know our antonio had to do something.
Speaker 1:He had to do something, that you know. Maybe he says, can't, we, can't, we just stay a little longer and claudia's like gives him a scowl, we can now. I have to eat okay, gtfo you know, they give you zero, nothing, absolutely nothing.
Speaker 2:I was blindsided by the love.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So now we're like, okay, that's what's happening, and we find out that the only law you can't do is kill a vampire, and then all these guys can read your mind. So you know they killed the staff. They know, oops Problems, oops Problems. And then we sort of find out that all the vampires descended to decadence. They descended to decadence and by doing that they sort of lose their edge and die or get killed or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And so Louis, who is the new world vampire and still embodies humanity somehow, ish yeah Is seen as something special, at least to Armand.
Speaker 2:And Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1:And Lissette, because I was just wondering you know, what do they see in him other than you know he's a good looking man? Now we kind of explain it. We didn't show any of this, that they were into this while any of it was happening but well, the movie was happening. Yeah, for sure, yeah, so now we have an explanation as to why the movie's happening. We finally understand some of the what are we 90 minutes in?
Speaker 2:I don't know Something like that. We're a ways into the movie. It's a ways.
Speaker 1:And we're just finding out why the movie's happening.
Speaker 2:You're like oh. I see, okay, here we go At least they're telling us now.
Speaker 1:Third act. And Armand knew the stat Okay, so Claudia wants a mom. She brings home a lady and the lady lost her daughter. So Louis is like, okay, I'm going to do this, but this is going to be the last of my humanity. After I do this, all my humanity is gone, not true?
Speaker 2:Not true at all. Not true at all. Really, he's very dramatic. He is very dramatic.
Speaker 1:And you wish he was more dramatic.
Speaker 2:He's very dramatic. He is very dramatic and you wish he was more dramatic, right Like, he has lines that are very dramatic and I wish that he embodied it a little bit more.
Speaker 1:This movie could get so much soapier, and it would just add to the movie, be so fun, just like darn it.
Speaker 2:What was the Johnny Depp movie Shadows, dark Shadows? Yeah, that was a terrible movie.
Speaker 1:It's a bad movie, but he was at least sort of trying a thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was campy and there was some fun parts. So the vampires.
Speaker 1:They come for it. This whole scene's great Justice. They grab them, they take them to the catacombs, they lock Louis in a box, they explain to Louis that they're going to just leave him in there for a hundred years, and he's going to be miserable. And Armand is like on the other side of the door doing nothing.
Speaker 2:So was he locked up or, just like I'm not involved? They?
Speaker 1:intentionally show him closing the door, not being involved Because later on he gets accused of doing all this because he did do it.
Speaker 2:And he's like I didn't do any of it. Any of it.
Speaker 1:He's like, okay, but you're complicit yeah, yeah, he, he stood by and let it all happen. Yeah, they put, and they, they put the girls in a. Well, we know what's going to happen to the girls, and they do they. We have a nice seat, and then we, we brick up louis in a metal casket in the wall.
Speaker 2:Oh, we missed the kiss. You're right, it doesn't actually matter to this movie at all. When he's like this is the last of my humanity and he's laying out on the patio or whatever, oh, okay, she's basically like she's saying thank you, I love you, dad, you know, whatever. And then she kisses him on the lips very briefly and then we cut away like immediately and that made like waves. When it happened, everyone was. And then like, and then like a bunch of people in interviews were basically like sexualized and she's 11. So they were like oh, did you enjoy kissing one of the most hollywood's most beautiful men? And she's like no, I'm a kid like. This is not, I'm not interested, I don't. It was super weird and still weird now, um, but in my head. So I haven't seen this in so long. In my head I had blown up the kiss so much because of all the drama around it.
Speaker 1:So you were ready for the kiss and I was like what?
Speaker 2:I can't wait to see this weird kiss again between this 11 and 31-year-old person, Like what, it's going to blow my mind. And then it happened. I was like, oh yeah, I mean, that's not. I don't know. I mean, it's still weird. Right like that's still a weird thing for an 11 year old actress to have to do, but it wasn't like Scandalous I would say, you know.
Speaker 1:But I was writing down whatever he was saying when he was Laying there, so I didn't even see it.
Speaker 2:It's not done with the same intention as blank check.
Speaker 1:Let's just Put it that way, dan they didn't set it up at a location and then music score it in where you're like yeah and like exact and make it like cool.
Speaker 2:They're like this is the coolest thing that's ever happened in this kid's life.
Speaker 1:It's not that sort of thing, which is a huge missed opportunity okay they're in the well, the sun comes up, they're screaming, and then boom, here we have Armand freeing up Louis and Armand says another line. That doesn't make any sense. I can't save her Right.
Speaker 2:I couldn't save her.
Speaker 1:No, he didn't say I couldn't save her.
Speaker 2:No, that's what I'm saying I said I can't save her. Right, because the second part of that sentence is because I waited too long on purpose. So, like now, we can't save her, but it's already, she's already dead. That's what I'm saying. Like he waited, he specifically waited until he knew she was dead to free this guy, so that there was no chance of saving him, because he wanted Claudia gone so he could have Louis.
Speaker 1:So Louis runs there, gets there they're just ash and they're clutching each other and it's very similar to the mother in the playroom and you're like, oh, okay. Well, that's a symbolic. It's like the Claudia plotline makes sense. You're like oh, this is a whole plotline that makes sense, has a structure, boom, okay.
Speaker 2:And then we just kind of move on, which is a problem for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So everyone says Big Claudia has his marriage, mom. He looks at Stephen Ray and then he's like I would have my revenge. Oh, he cries back with Christian.
Speaker 2:Slater With Christian Slater.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I felt nothing. Then we have this nice revenge scene where he goes and he burns up the theater and sickles some of the dudes, decapitates them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, great, great scene.
Speaker 1:Oh, then he fights. He fights Stephen Ray the dancing one, and just really nice scene where he has the sick old Stephen Ray's character runs around behind him really fast. But he knows where he's going, so he just swings around and cuts him in half.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's cool. That was nice, good little scene.
Speaker 1:And then Armand rescues him. When he goes outside and it's sunlight, with a carriage yeah, great stuff him. When he goes outside and it's sunlight with a with a carriage yeah, great stuff, uh. And then armand, they have a big discussion, you know, um, and he's armand is like. I will teach you to be powerful, beautiful and without regret yep I him.
Speaker 2:You lost him at that last one.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:He goes like no, because he's like hey, all I have is my regret bud.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so he like almost gives him a kiss and he's like peace out.
Speaker 2:And he's like well, if that's all I need to learn, I can learn that on my own. Does he say that? Yeah, he says that. Well, if that's all I need to learn, I can learn that on my own. Does he say that? Oh, yeah, he says that, oh, okay, Because he's the most emo vampires you know, until Twilight, obviously.
Speaker 1:Shannon said that in the book they went off together for a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, so that's what the end of this movie is definitely like Hollywood it up, from what I remember I I don't totally remember the ending, but it's not this it's not. It's not what happens here uh, it's really weird.
Speaker 1:He wanders around. Yes, he says the world was a tomb to me, he misses claudia, but then he comes to the united states and then they invent the movies and so he watches and he's the rock I get, because that's how I escape as well.
Speaker 2:So you know me and the stat. Nope, me and louie got a lot in common.
Speaker 1:He's gonna like he's, it's gonna rock, because it would have been rough for like a lot of years with television, because television in the middle of the night was just just terrible, you know, it was just. I don't know if you remember this, but it was.
Speaker 2:It was terrible right, I think the only tv I watched that night was scrambled porn, dan yeah, so I don't have to tell you, for a lot of years there wasn't that, there was just the normal channels and then you're right, it was terrible, yeah so he's loving it.
Speaker 1:he's watching the movie. He's watching Superman. That was really weird, great stuff. He leaves a screening of Tequila Sunrise because he's got to watch Sunrise movies.
Speaker 2:I was like that's Because he loves Sunrise.
Speaker 1:That's really dorky. Walks back home and he's all like I smelled someone Old Death. Goes into the creepy house and boom, there's Lestat sitting in a chair rocket chair. Still alive, still alive-ish and he's all like Louie, my beautiful Louie, you know, give me some blood, give me some blood bud Like nah, no blood for you. Talk about the helicopter, tony. I mean, this is finally giving you something to talk about.
Speaker 2:Oh, great, something I don't understand. So a helicopter with searchlights comes right outside his window, like steering the searchlight directly in on his body, like 10 feet out of his window. They're looking for him like 100%. I don't know why, but they're looking for him. And then they found him and they're like now we can leave. But in the middle Tom's like ah, the light, the light. And Brad Pitt's like it's fake light, don't worry, you're fine.
Speaker 1:He's not like it's false light.
Speaker 2:False light. Sorry, what the hell is false light?
Speaker 1:He says it like we should know, what that means.
Speaker 2:It means there's no UV rays. But also, this is not the first helicopter ever invented, so why doesn't Tom know that already?
Speaker 1:I'm very confused by this scene. It was so weird and like why?
Speaker 2:is there a?
Speaker 1:helicopter beaming a light in there. I'm like I don't understand, Right outside.
Speaker 2:And it's right outside the window. It's not like it's high in the sky like it does in LA, where searchlights kind of go across the ground. You see sky like it does in la, where, like, searchlights kind of go across the ground, you see it, it's literally levitating right outside the window, searchlights right in the pilots, like hey, there's two dudes in there, okay, let's go, and then they leave. I don't know man, do you?
Speaker 1:know how, I don't know. Do you know, helicopters work?
Speaker 2:I don't really do, they do they do, they levitate tony? I don't think yeah, they hover, they levitate. They levitate off the ground with their propeller blades up, top and behind so he's like sorry, bro, peace out.
Speaker 1:He leaves, and then he goes and talks to the, the reporter the reporter.
Speaker 2:Is that immediate, is that like the same night? You think, no, I don't know, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:But no, uh, yeah and the, the, you know. So the reporter gets to this we're up to, we're up to speed. And he's all like, make me into a vampire, make me into a vampire. And he's all like, ah, it's not gonna happen, but I'm good, maybe I'll eat you well what he said.
Speaker 2:He says I, I failed again or something like that, and I was like what?
Speaker 1:does that mean, I don't understand he's having trouble with journalists. I don't know. It's weird.
Speaker 2:This is my third journalist this week, Ah shoot.
Speaker 1:And then he runs away, gets in his car, drives away in his car and it's all like whew, that was a close escape. I got away from the vampire by not doing anything.
Speaker 2:At all.
Speaker 1:Then he reaches back. He's like, ah, push my tape recorder so I can listen to the story again. And the story starts playing, and then boom, the stat is in the car. The stat is eating. The stat chomps him. They crack, they don't crash they. They stop at the side of the road, then the stat gets in charge of the car and he has drunk. What does he say? He says like really stupid. I feel better already.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what he says. Now I have a lot of questions, because ostensibly it's been like what? A hundred years since that Brad Pitt's been back and Lestat has just been staying in that cabin. Yeah, I guess. So why does he all of a sudden have the energy to go drink someone's blood? Why hasn't he done it before now? Just because he's so sad, is it? Is that what's like? He's just so lonely that he's like I'll just stay here.
Speaker 1:I don't understand it maybe put some cat food out that's my guess.
Speaker 2:Attract some animals, that's yeah, he's getting better animals.
Speaker 1:You know, he just he, all right, he's moving up the food chain.
Speaker 2:Slowly getting better day by day. I found a $5 bill and I bought cat food here. Whiskers, I don't know man, I don't know either. It's very strange. But then he's going to keep them, and then we get that sweet sweet song.
Speaker 1:What's the name of that song? It's a Rolling Stones song.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Pleased to meet you. Sympathy for the Devil and who is singing it?
Speaker 2:Who is doing it? I don't know who's doing it.
Speaker 1:Guns N' Roses. Oh, guns N' Roses, I like them their final song that they did before slash and duff left oh man, tough stuff, tough stuff.
Speaker 2:Every rose has its tone. Is that them, or is that poison?
Speaker 1:that's poison um, they do, yeah, my 80s music straight september rain and they do sweet child of mine.
Speaker 2:Right, that's guns and roses. I got that right. Yeah, my 80s music straight September Rain.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm and 80s Sweet Child of Mine. Right, that's Guns N' Roses, I got that right, sweet Chili O'Mine.
Speaker 2:Sweet Chili and Lime.
Speaker 1:Is that?
Speaker 2:a joke that's been said before.
Speaker 1:No, it's Sweet Chili O'Mine. They don't spell child, they spell C-H-I-L.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought you said Sweet Chili, chili and lime, as in like a chip. That would be a great commercial for a chip that is sweet chili and lime. Sweet chili and lime, right, I thought that's what you said, Dan, that's almost what I said, so at one point in this movie it took 18 years to get to the screen.
Speaker 1:They were going to gender swap Louis and make him into a woman, and that woman was going to be Cher.
Speaker 2:Cher, do you believe?
Speaker 1:Okay, and she even recorded a weird song that was going to be like a-.
Speaker 2:Well, now I'm back in.
Speaker 1:Love and she used the song later in one of her other albums. But yeah, that's incredible. I don't think it would have worked.
Speaker 2:That would be. No, I don't think that would have worked at all, but also like that's how hard they're trying to stay away from being gay.
Speaker 1:That is how hard they're like. We don't want to be gay.
Speaker 2:so bad, we're just going to change the genders of one of the characters.
Speaker 1:That is how terrified they were.
Speaker 2:The 90s? Yeah, the 90s man Yikes.
Speaker 1:And that's what I always say is, like you know, we live in a terrible world. Terrible things happen and terrible government things try to terrible government us, but certain things get better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hopefully more stuff gets better faster than it is, not to get political. This movie was from 1994.
Speaker 1:This was not like 100 years ago, this was like 30 years ago and the world is a completely different world than it was when this movie came out with the kind of stuff that you can address and deal with.
Speaker 2:But I do miss Zubas. Remember Zubas Pants? They're like yeah, the pants, zubas. Remember Zubas Pants? They're like yeah, the pants, zubas. Yeah. Yeah, they were like striped tiger striped but like vibrant colors. I'm going to try to find some. I bet someone still sells them.
Speaker 1:I'm sure they still make them. Let me rephrase that I'm sure they make them again.
Speaker 2:That's fair yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh man, yeah, that's fair yeah oh man, we're gonna.
Speaker 2:We're gonna get under two hours this time, thank god, I would hope so. We're only at 90 minutes, should we just? Should we start another, a new movie right now?
Speaker 1:just after last week's was two hours, was two hours long it was, it was long our absolute longest for one of the worst movies we've ever. I I don't even know how we had time to complain about everything, that much I don't know, but we did a great job.
Speaker 2:I don't listen back to any of our episodes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do because we're fucking funny. Um, I like my own voice. I like now are you like an artist that doesn't like looking at your own stuff?
Speaker 2:I would love to tell you yes, because I feel like that's what the good artists always say is like I don't watch my own work.
Speaker 2:I love watching myself on screen I watch my stuff ad nauseum, but I mean I also pick apart all the flaws. That's how I feel. Like I learn is I look at them like, okay, you shouldn't be doing that. I flare my nostrils a lot and I hate that. So I have to be very cognizant while I'm acting, to not flare my nostrils. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what it is, but, like you know, wait, hold on.
Speaker 1:You mean you like they just get big, that's like an active choice, so I gotta be very careful about that is that an active choice? You got like a time to flare no, it's not.
Speaker 2:I have to actively choose not to do it because, like, there's two emotions my sad emotion flares my nostrils and my anger emotion flares my nostrils. So when I'm angry, I have to be very cognizant not to flex my nose muscles, because I flex a lot of muscles in my face when I get angry. But I have to be very cognizant to not to. Anyhow, I do watch my own stuff and I like my voice some of the time. I like when I'm talking normal and I have this voice. This, I think, is a very sexy voice but when I get excited.
Speaker 2:I do get muppety, you know, so I don't love that, but I can't help it that's why you like working with me.
Speaker 1:I out muppet you every time we got, we're dual muppets, so you know someone said that in one of the comments. For who's that?
Speaker 2:oh, oh, so now my greatest fear has come to life Someone else called it out.
Speaker 1:They called me.
Speaker 2:You're right. You're right person. It's Dan, it's not me. It's Dan. Are you sure it wasn't me? You sure it was you did they say Dan?
Speaker 1:I am sure it was me I don't know, could have been either one.
Speaker 2:It's hard to be sure. They're probably still not listening, because I don't think that was a compliment, so we can't ask them which one it was.
Speaker 1:Tony.
Speaker 2:Yes Dan.
Speaker 1:Anything else to say about the interview with the vampire? Not a vampire, the vampire.
Speaker 2:Is that a debate?
Speaker 1:A versus the I. If you were to ask me what the name of this movie was before I watched it, I would have said interview with with a vampire oh interesting, I think. Yeah, it's. No, it's a baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the vampire interview with the vampire yeah interesting, yeah, so there you go um.
Speaker 1:Tony, tell us about something you like this week.
Speaker 2:So we started speaking of Victorian, which is probably why this was in my head. We started watching a 2020 dramedy called the Great. That's on Hulu and it's basically let me, let me, it's. Who's it about, catherine the Great? Oh, okay, who was, I believe? You know From somewhere, and she moves to Russia and becomes like the Empress of Russia and the guy who plays Lex Luthor In the new Superman.
Speaker 1:Oh, Nicholas Holt.
Speaker 2:In the X-Men, nicholas Holt, thank you. He plays the Emperor and he is batshit Crazy in this show and it's delightful.
Speaker 1:Shannon watched that whole show. I watched a little bit of it, yeah.
Speaker 2:We've only watched a couple episodes. It's wild. There are things that I'm just like what is going on, but it's fun.
Speaker 1:We're having a lot of fun with it Crazy sex shit, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 2:Yep, you remember that correctly.
Speaker 1:He's a full perv bonkers dude and that correctly. He's a full perv bonkers dude and they get into it. They like, they don't just like, oh, better skirt. They're like, we're going right in they don't skirt around.
Speaker 2:They're not like this movie where they skirt around all those sexuality. No, they're full in it and it's great.
Speaker 1:We live in a better world now.
Speaker 2:We really do. We do, but except for the Zubas. If I can find Zubas, I'm back in. All right, dan, what did you watch this week?
Speaker 1:There's a new show on YouTube, but it's on like the Netflix is a joke. It's called the Big Pitch, something, something with Jimmy Carr. Jimmy Carr, it's a British show, but it's British comedians pitching movies essentially to Jimmy Carr, who's sort of there acting as a Netflix agent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, I'm in.
Speaker 1:So it's, you know it's a lot of the great British comedians, but it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds delightful.
Speaker 1:Bringing in the thing, and it's sort of that creative process where they do the pitch and then they try to improve upon it, and then they talk about who might be in it or how you would market it, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2:You know all the way Is there only two episodes so far.
Speaker 1:There's a bunch more to go.
Speaker 2:Okay, but yes, I'm going to watch this.
Speaker 1:We just watched the two of them last night and they're just very fun. You know little 25 to 30 minute things that you can just watch and enjoy and you know, if you're not digging it then you can take off. Tony, we need another movie because I think we're going to run out.
Speaker 2:I do not think we're going to run out, but we are going to do something that's relatively new. We did miss it when it came out, because other things came out at the same time and you said you didn't want to do it, so I'm going to make you do it anyhow, and it's, of course, snow White. We're going to watch Snow White. We're going to watch it. It's a kid's movie man Okay whatever. It's a kid's movie, but we got to. I have to watch it unless we do it for this podcast.
Speaker 1:Rachel Siegler, siegler.
Speaker 2:Great, great. That's not who I'm worried about. Who?
Speaker 1:are you worried about?
Speaker 2:Who's the queen? What's her name again? Oh, it's Wonder Woman.
Speaker 1:It's Wonder Woman.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's supposed to be, yeah, why?
Speaker 1:can't? She's supposed to be super terrible.
Speaker 2:And I'm very excited about it. I gotta see it. I love her though. Yeah, she's great in the Fast and the Furious movies.
Speaker 1:She was great in those and she was great in the first Wonder Woman movie. She was great.
Speaker 2:We never watched what is it, 1984 or whatever. We never watched that one because we heard bad things so we just avoided it. Keep the good memories of the first one.
Speaker 1:I did not finish it. I wondered how Pedro Pascal had a career after that movie oh god, really now I have to.
Speaker 2:I didn't even know he was in it dan he plays um.
Speaker 1:He plays what's his name that set up the justice league max. He plays maxwell lord lord oh do you know who maxwell lord is?
Speaker 2:I do, yeah interesting and I don't know. Do you know who Maxwell Lord is? I do, yeah, interesting.
Speaker 1:And I don't know if you you know, did you read the Justice League? When they came back, they got reformed, with Max Lord being in charge, and that's where the guy Gardner, I think I've dabbled.
Speaker 2:I don't think I've like you know.
Speaker 1:He was an incredible character. And I mean, that's where the guy Gardner Green Lantern that was his name that's where they set that guy in stone and they are running him exactly like that Interesting. Yeah, it's definitely a space. You know that comic is the one that's sort of, I think, defining a lot of what James Gunn is going to be doing Sure, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2:So Well, I do think. I think they at least talk about Lorde in the new Superman. I don't know if they're, I don't know if he's going to be in it, as a character, but he's definitely like mentioned at some point, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so they make. He's kind of the secondary villain in Wonder Woman 84. Wonder Woman 84. Wonder Woman it's just very bad Interesting, and the cheetah thing with what's her name, right, yeah. You know, and it's like it's all predicated on, like a magical gem that makes your wishes come true.
Speaker 2:Right, because dead Chris Pine comes back or something I don't know. I couldn't see it. I couldn't do it. That part was interesting. He's not there the whole movie.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, that aspect of the movie was what I found interesting Okay.
Speaker 2:You know, the rest of it was just so weird. Well, he's great. I love him.
Speaker 1:He's great and that's the thing about it is he's great in there. And he comes in there and you're like, oh, he's so believable. And then what's his name's? Max lord is the least believable thing. And then christian wiggs cheetah is also unbelievable. And you're like that was the thing about the first wonder woman movies. It felt very believable and and whatever that one where what's his name was playing batman and wonder woman came in. Ben affleck was playing one batman and then she was in one of the Batman movies or something with him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she comes in in Batman v Superman, which is silly. She comes in at the third act of that, when they're fighting the big bad guy as Wonder Woman.
Speaker 1:I think it was in the first Justice League movie.
Speaker 2:The three of them are sort of the two of them are in it. Yeah, they're also in that. Yeah, the three of them are sort of the two of them are in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're also in that. Yeah, and I liked that part of it.
Speaker 2:I thought that was really interesting.
Speaker 1:You know, I thought that part made sense, but whatever, whatever happened to that weird guy that was playing the Flash, that Ezra dude.
Speaker 2:Ezra, I think bad things Is he done? I think it's not. I mean, I don't know for sure, but he was definitely in trouble.
Speaker 1:Because you know he used to talk, Sorry, I believe it is, I believe pronouns are they? I believe I apologize, I'll look up that dude and see whatever happened, or that them Look them up and see whatever happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't think it's great, if I remember correctly, but I don't know.
Speaker 1:Didn't end well for them.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, what was the movie we were doing? Oh, snow White. Yeah, we're doing Snow.
Speaker 2:White, we're doing classy, classy Disney Snow White. I'm sorry, dan, we have to do it, I don't care what you say.
Speaker 1:It's my choice. I'm hoping it's 96 minutes long. That's what I'm hoping.
Speaker 2:Oh, they did. Can you do?
Speaker 1:that, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It's only an hour 49.
Speaker 1:It's not that bad. It's not that bad, I'll live with that. Yeah, we haven't done a lot of musicals. I like musicals.
Speaker 2:I also enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Galavant yet? Did I tell you about?
Speaker 1:that I think I watched the first episode or two.
Speaker 2:I love Galilee. It was okay oh my God you like Well, you should watch more of it, Dan.
Speaker 1:You like more straight up Broadway-ish things and I like older stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ah, yeah, the boring things.
Speaker 1:I'm an Oklahoma person, and I'm a 30th-.
Speaker 2:Oklahoma, where the wind does something about the plains. I got some of those words right.
Speaker 1:Those are the that's, but we both like Moulin Rouge.
Speaker 2:Right. That's where we overlap Right Moulin.
Speaker 1:Rouge I was singing. Let me talk about a real movie. I sing that one where that one where he seduces her and they fall in love with a song An elephant that's the, you know. It's like that one where he seduces her and they fall in love with a song On the elephant. That's the, you know. It's like you want a show where two people are falling in love and it's not a bunch of dialogue, it's just a song and looks and you're like, oh yeah they love each other.
Speaker 2:He's very charming in that movie. He's so good. He's so so good. Ewan McGregor Love that guy. We could be heroes greg, I love that guy. We could be heroes. Yeah, I watched that. I watched that one just for one day I watched that whole.
Speaker 2:You will be me. No, I won't, I'll. I'll drink all the time. Sorry, I had the whole movie memorized. I don't know if I've ever told you that. Do you really? Yeah, yeah, I do. It's a good movie, obsessed, except for I turn it off before she, um, before that it happens.
Speaker 1:No spoilers here, your ending is a happy ending you're damn right.
Speaker 2:It is because that's what we want in life and that's what happens when people have consumption.
Speaker 1:They have happy endings, don't they?
Speaker 2:don't. I don't even know what it means, so I can just ignore it. Dan, that's what life is about consumption, ignorance uh, not survivable.
Speaker 1:I don't think I got to consumption okay. So if you like what we see, give us a thumbs up, subscribe or leave a comment. You know you can. We did Shannon's movie, we could do your movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we did. Now we're doing my movie, so someone else should pick. Get out there, Chad. No, I get to pick next time I'm already down to pick. Nah, don't let Dan pick. Don't let Dan pick.
Speaker 1:Dan's pick is bad, let's shit and pick movies, something I want to do. I have a bunch of things I still want to do. We still have a few more months and then we'll be done, we'll solve.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, god, what I I didn't realize that we were quitting, so I guess the clock's ticking everybody.
Speaker 1:I keep seeing like these 80s movies that you're like oh man, that looks so bad.
Speaker 2:What a treat yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll be back with snow, was it?
Speaker 2:this year Snow White.
Speaker 1:This year Snow White. I think it's this year, yeah, this year.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it just came out in like June, earlier June, I think June 11th on Disney Plus.
Speaker 1:Oh, it just came out, so like a couple weeks.
Speaker 2:Great, yes, yeah, yeah. So it came out a.
Speaker 1:We'll see you then.
Speaker 2:Goodbye everybody.