Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Minecraft: Let Our Hips Be Your Guide
Minecraft: The Movie had all the ingredients for disaster - a video game with no story, a director known for divisive comedies, and the challenge of bringing blocky visuals to life. Yet somehow, this cubic adventure emerges as one of the most genuinely entertaining family films of the year.
Jack Black brings manic energy as Steve, a doorknob salesman who discovers a portal to the Minecraft world and builds his own cubic paradise. When the evil Malgosia (played with delightful villainy) threatens to conquer this realm, Steve teams up with Garrett (Jason Momoa in what might be his most enjoyable role yet), a washed-up gamer who stumbles upon a mysterious artifact.
What makes Minecraft work isn't its plot - which is paper-thin - but its commitment to embracing absurdity with open arms. Night comes every twenty minutes, characters craft elaborate structures with a single bang on a table, and physics operates on game logic rather than reality. Director Jared Hess (Napoleon Dynamite) fills every frame with visual gags and references that will delight fans without alienating newcomers.
The film's standout moments include a flying sequence where Momoa instructs Black to "let my hips be your guide" while soaring through canyons, a wrestling match featuring the rare "chicken jockey" enemy, and perhaps the funniest villain death scene in recent memory involving multiple hidden knives. Jennifer Coolidge provides perfect comedic relief as a recently divorced school administrator who falls for one of the blocky villagers, believing his inability to speak means "he's Swedish."
Unlike many video game adaptations that struggle with their source material, Minecraft leans fully into what makes the game special - creativity, discovery, and the joy of building something from nothing. It's a rollercoaster ride that prioritizes fun over logic, and it's all the better for it.
Have you played Minecraft or watched the film? We'd love to hear your thoughts! Subscribe to the podcast for more discussions about surprising cinematic adventures that defy expectations.
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Well, I'm excited to see the movie someday. Yeah, me too. Do it for this stupid show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it'll be really good and we'll have to eat our words.
Speaker 1:Kind of like we're going to do this week. Kind of like we're going to do this week. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. It's like watchin'.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Welcome to hey Watchin' with Dan and Tony. I am Dan, I am Tony On this show. We watch a movie, we talk about the movie and typically the movie is beyond terrible, as evidenced by the movie we did last week. Which man? It might have moved up in the top ten of the worst, all the absolute worst movies we've ever seen.
Speaker 1:I think that's easy, easily top ten, maybe top five. If I'm being honest, I strongly disliked it.
Speaker 2:It was because the thing about just to talk about the movie we did last week Drive Away, dolls, driveaway. Dolls, yeah it had the money, it had studio back, it had everything going for it. It had people that ostensibly are actors.
Speaker 1:It wasn't like.
Speaker 2:Todd just sent us this movie where Gary Busey is a rich guy who dies and then comes back as a white Pomeranian and has to I didn't read this message yet.
Speaker 1:I saw him send something and I didn't read it yet, but that's incredible.
Speaker 2:It's one of those Christian movies, one of those financed by Christians.
Speaker 1:Love that yeah.
Speaker 2:God brings him back as a dog to you know, whatever you know direct to video you, you know that that movie's gonna have an amount of problems, you know from from technical to sound, to editing you know just, but it'll be fun driveway dolls not a lot of fun no, not a lot of anything.
Speaker 2:I I did not like that movie but you know it's the, it's the whole thing. It had everything in its corner. You know everything you could get in your corner for a movie to be good and well, except for it made one big mistake, dan, the accent it hot.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, it made two big mistakes it hired a, a Cohen, and it let someone do that stupid accent. Those were your two biggest mistakes.
Speaker 2:So, Tony, what movie are we talking about this week? That didn't make those two mistakes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we course corrected I might have over course corrected.
Speaker 2:I went into the what was the Chasm movie? We watched the Gorge. I went into the what was the Chasm movie?
Speaker 1:we watched the Gorge. I went into the Gorge, yeah, and I was like you know what. Instead of that, let's fly 10,000 feet above the Gorge, never even see the Gorge, we'll be fine. I don't know, it was getting a lot of guff, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:People are angry.
Speaker 1:The tomato score is pretty mixed for critics, not for audience. Audience is pretty positive.
Speaker 2:Critics are 50% and audiences 88%, which. I mean that's good, that's similar to what Mission Impossible is at right now, which I mean? I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know either. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. I haven't gotten off my butt to get to a theater to see. Mission impossible for three hours, can't do it dan I can't sit in the theater it's two hours 40 something and that's. I can't do it. I can't do that in an uncomfortable theater seat. I'm 40 years old, my butt hurts, my back hurts. I can't do it.
Speaker 1:I thought they made comfortable theater seats now okay, well, so now we now we're going to get a little theater talk here. We have two theaters near us. We have an AMC, which is incredibly uncomfortable, but delightful food, you know hot dogs, mozzarella sticks everything you could want from movie theater food. And then we have the Look Dining Cinemas and it's one of those reclining seats. They're very comfortable. That food is absolute trash. It is garbage. I've tried almost everything on the menu and I eat like half of it and throw the rest away. It is trash. They need to work on that. Now here's the thing If I'm going to see a two-hour 40-minute movie, I'm going to need to eat some food, so I just can't do it. I have wait till it comes, comes home, so I can make my own food, my own hot dogs wait and get through it.
Speaker 2:You're gonna wait for mission impossible to watch it at home on a home screen, I have to, I can't do it in theater.
Speaker 1:I can't do it. I physically can't do it, dan wow quentin tarantino's rolling over in his grave first of all, good, I don't like him either. Tarantino also sucks. Tarantino and the coen brothers the most two overrated directors of all time but you like the, the one with the the.
Speaker 2:You know the guys in it promise you I didn't.
Speaker 1:I have never enjoyed a tarantino film never, not a single one.
Speaker 2:You didn't like mr pink and mr black and all that that Dogs.
Speaker 1:No, don't like that movie, absolute hogwash. Anyhow, let's get back to what we're doing this week Biggest movie in the world.
Speaker 2:Minecraft. We're learning things about you, tony oh Minecraft.
Speaker 1:That's the movie.
Speaker 2:We're doing Minecraft this week.
Speaker 1:That's what we're doing this week. Sorry, it took too long to get to it, but yeah, we're doing Minecraft this week. Jack Black, jason Momoa, some younger people, I don't know, and the guy that did Napoleon Dynamite, one of the worst films of all time, and he did it again. And he did it again, knocked it out of the park. Top level Dan thoughts.
Speaker 2:Was never bored.
Speaker 1:No, no, you're never bored in this movie, that's true.
Speaker 2:There were never terrible accents. No, that's true, there were. I mean, that's a pretty low bar. We got to start somewhere.
Speaker 1:I mean that's a pretty low bar. We've got to start somewhere. If you just sound like a human throughout the movie, that's two thumbs up from Dan.
Speaker 2:There were a number of jokes that I thoroughly enjoyed, that I thought were really really good jokes. I do feel that this felt a little bit. You know, I mean they're going to make another one and maybe a third. I mean not hopefully, but you know I can imagine they're going to make a third.
Speaker 1:They're going to milk it. They made a lot of money. How many Jumanji's did they make, Like the new ones? Two right.
Speaker 2:Was it only two?
Speaker 1:I don't think they made a third.
Speaker 2:I don't think they made a third. I don't think they made a third either. Um, and that that is the comparable movie to this. This movie is like the jumanji movies, I think.
Speaker 1:I think maybe they did make a third. I don't think they did. Jumanji 3 sets december 2026 release date. They are supposedly making a third yeah, so those movies, the first.
Speaker 2:I did not like the original Jumanji movie at all, disliked it immensely. I'm sorry with Robin.
Speaker 1:Williams. I'm not a big Robin Williams movie fan you got. Dan, you got to quit the podcast. You got to quit, you got to go home. What do you mean? You're not a big Robin Williams. That movie is amazing. The original Jumanji is a staple of my childhood.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Original Jumanji is a staple of my childhood. Yeah Well, yeah, it's a kid's movie and I did not see it when I was a kid.
Speaker 1:That's fair. That's fair. Well, I didn't see this movie as a kid, and it don't matter. I do think that this movie is a kid's movie. I don't know if it's a kid's movie, it's definitely a tween movie. Okay, you know what I mean. It's definitely a tween movie. Okay, you know what I mean. Like it's an older kid, not an adult. That's where it lands, I think.
Speaker 2:There's one point at which they do like the montage of making the stuff and you're like how did they get back to the town? If you want to look at all that stuff, the time is crunched, the locations are crunched and in a real, what I would call a good, good movie, you can't, you can't play those. You gotta kind of if you go on the big journey and then you're back to where you started in in 10 seconds. Yeah, it's a little the movies.
Speaker 1:It's held together with duct tape, right, but where you go in each scene is fine. It's worth it like if you, if you, want to look at this and be like well, narratively this movie doesn't make a lot of sense. That's fine, it doesn't. You're absolutely right. It's not supposed to like there's, it's not. That's not what we're here for. We're here to to make jokes, references and have a lot of fun.
Speaker 2:That's kind of it, and I really feel like they didn't spend their, they didn't waste their time doing pop culture references. It really felt like they made lots of game references which I could tell there were some. I didn't get, and so I was like the chicken j you know everyone screams and loses their minds I was like chicken jockey. It didn't mean anything to me, but I thought it was an amuse. I thought it was amusing, but I didn't. I didn't. Well, just for reference.
Speaker 1:Uh, chicken jockeys very rare it's, I think they I think they have like a 0.04 chance of spawning in the overworld, something like that, and so it's important.
Speaker 2:But I mean, everybody plays the game, knows exactly what it is Right, and so when it happens, you're like, oh my god, Chicka Jocky happened or whatever. You know that would not be if you were to go. Well, what are the scenes that really work for you? I would have been like that was fine. Whatever it doesn't mean, but that's the biggest scene in the movie, for for most of the fans.
Speaker 1:But then you ask yourself like why are they in a wrestling ring? How did they get to the wrestling? What's actually happening? You have no idea.
Speaker 2:Why is the black character tied up, but Jason Ramone's character is not tied?
Speaker 1:up, and then he, he ties himself.
Speaker 2:It is not a movie that's going to answer those questions. But once they get to the Minecraft and things start rolling, it's just Jack Black screaming. It is just Jack Black doesn't ever take it back down and go like hey man.
Speaker 1:No, it's like Jack Black on a 12 for three months of filming.
Speaker 2:That must have been a lot to handle for the entirety, and there are a couple of times where you're like is is he gonna be okay, is his grandpa gonna be okay? And so, like you know, thinking there's two more of these to come. You're like, you know, we better, we better. We gotta make them quick we don't have a lot.
Speaker 1:This. This energy level from Jack is going to fade pretty soon, I think.
Speaker 2:And I could see that kids are going to deal with that level of energy better than old people. But the flip side of all that is we have the energy and then they cut to some. When they cut back to the world and Jennifer Coolidge is dating the villager guy, oh my. God, it's just weird, but it's actually really kind of nice. They do give you these strange breathers where you're like it level sets.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's exactly what it does. It brings it back down Instead of having Jack go on a journey. They're just like no, no, you stay where you are, and we'll go out of it, and then we'll come back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's smart Because usually the movie does you know the characters in the movie? Yeah, will have that interlude where they're like now we're going to talk about things and it's like nope, jack Black and Jason.
Speaker 1:Moore are just like we're in a tent. Don't take a break, guys. If we slow down, we'll stop, never stop, just keep going.
Speaker 2:And you it and, um, you know I mean and, and so it kind of left the kids. It really is a jack black jason momoa movie.
Speaker 1:So it left the two kids and the woman that played dawn not as much to do for sure for sure yeah, at some point the sister disappears for a while and then she came back and I was like, oh yeah, I forgot you were in the movie yeah, um, and so you, you would like the kids to have a little more to do.
Speaker 2:You know, I I don't know how you do that when maybe you would like the kids to have a little more to do.
Speaker 1:I'm fine with exactly how little they did, sure and I mean that's.
Speaker 2:You know it is. In some ways it is not hard for movie, but it is kind of hard for a movie to typically take who is ostensibly your protagonist, and I mean Jason Momoa is really the protagonist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I mean, I'm not ashamed to say this this is his best role, best role to date. This is the most I've enjoyed, jason Momoa, and that's after Fast and the Furious.
Speaker 2:Where I also thoroughly enjoyed him Okay.
Speaker 1:And you know, obviously he's great as Droko, but he just seems like he's having so much fun In this movie. Him and Jack are just having the time of their lives and I'm a little jealous.
Speaker 2:I know the scene you like With the wings, that whole scene, I mean the wings.
Speaker 1:That whole scene I mean the wings is great. He's got it holding onto his hair and he's like let my hips guide you Wow.
Speaker 2:Is that what he said? Let my hips guide you.
Speaker 1:Let my hips be your guide. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:And there was so much that I wrote down that you know I didn't, I didn't really sit in this movie. But also, you know, this was one of those few movies where I paused it a number of times to write down whole things that are like oh man, this is interesting, yeah, and I thought it was a nice move back to the Napoleon Dynamite Jared Hess where you know it was just like this is, and that was one of our big problems with Driveway, driveway dolls was that a lot of the characters felt totally like they were in different movies. Yes, everybody's in this movie.
Speaker 1:Everyone's on board, everyone's playing the game, everyone knows what they signed up for and we're just doing it. We're going all the way. You know, I got to respect it.
Speaker 2:And that's what I would say is, I think I enjoyed the jumanji movies, more especially the second one, but I, but I really enjoyed, but I, I absolutely enjoyed this movie yeah, um, I'm surprised.
Speaker 1:I thought I was gonna make fun of it a bunch and I mean there's again, there's plenty to make fun of. Like it's not. It's not a cohesive narrative, that's fine, I just don't care. I had so much fun with it that it's. You know, I don't care, it's not. It's not a movie that you're supposed to be like. Oh, let's dissect this thing, even though that's what I said that we should do this week, and we will a little bit. But it was fun. It was fun, I get it. I understand why not that. I agree with it. But I understand why kids were going crazy in the theaters because this is this movie's batshit wild. Like, if you have no adult supervision, you're going and you're 12, you're 13 years old, you're going hog wild. I get it.
Speaker 2:I understand how it can happen yeah, they, they give some breaks, but they, they never, you know, take the foot off the gas they're just like you know, every action scene is just going to be, you know, the flying one and everything. At a certain point I was like everything is flying so fast and everything is moving so fast you can bring it down. But that's not what they wanted to do. They wanted it to.
Speaker 1:No, that's not where we want to live.
Speaker 2:This is a car speeding right to hell. Right, sleigh ride to hell. This is a sleigh ride to hell and it's an enjoyable sleigh ride to hell. You know, yeah, the show is. What are we doing next?
Speaker 1:week, tony. Uh well, I mean technically it's up to you, but I do have a movie I want to do. I'm very excited. I think it's my choice this time you pick.
Speaker 2:It is technically your choice, yeah so we start with a little bit of uh jack black talking and just setting things up, and in a movie like this you kind of need some things to set up for old people like me that have just the most basic For all of the parents who are bringing their kids to the movie.
Speaker 1:We do need a moment to just be like okay, what is this? I don't understand where I am, yeah.
Speaker 2:So we have Steve. He yearned for the mines. You know, this is just a classic shot of the kids standing there and the old man not letting go into the mines in mine, yeah.
Speaker 1:And the next scene is the moment where I was like, oh no, I'm going to love this movie.
Speaker 2:What happens next? I grew up. He's selling doorknobs. He's selling doorknobs.
Speaker 1:Yes, what do you mean? You don't sell doorknobs. You're not a door-to-door doorknob salesman.
Speaker 2:He is selling doorknobs.
Speaker 1:He's got a great outfit on Real nice.
Speaker 2:Same outfit he had on when he was a kid. But he still remembered the mines. So he goes back. So he's like he teaches his job, goes back there, gets his pickaxe and then there's that same old miner waiting there, the same old miner hasn't aged a day.
Speaker 1:Jack Black has aged 50 years. And I was like, oh no, I'm going to love this movie. What a great bit. It's the exact same guy who hasn't changed one ounce, and Jack Black has gone from a tiny child to a 50, 60-year-old man with a beard. I was like yep this is great.
Speaker 2:And how does he? How does he defeat the uh minor? The greatest line of all runs at him barely moves.
Speaker 1:Just I just want to listen. Jack is not as limber as he used to be and I love that he's going for it, but he, he does this tiny movement like just an inch and he goes head fake and the guy dies the other direction.
Speaker 2:And you totally expect him to knock him over or do something, but he just put a good little tight, you know, and that's what a joke is Nice little juke move, just a little joke juke juke, juke juke. And you're like, okay, I'm on board with this. You know, this is, this is the game we're playing. We're, we're, we're, uh, subverting expectations. Yeah, that's what, that's what we want. We'll do it a bunch of times and that's you know. Drive away dolls.
Speaker 2:never subverted expectations it always was just like right there where you're like really do we, yeah, really, really, really, why um face? The miner goes in there, finds two mysterious artifacts, puts the artifacts together, makes a portal, goes through the portal, ends up in the overworld, where there are cubic bees, cubic sheep and where he can create whatever his imagination is. He builds three houses. Life was good.
Speaker 1:Interestingly enough, they were all very plain, very plain houses, like the whole point. You should see, some of the houses I've built, I mean I've got, I've got mansions in there, I've got, you know, twelve rooms, bathrooms, bedrooms, pool rooms. It's great, all of his were like fairly simple, which I kind of respected, but also was like Is this going to come into play? That he doesn't, he doesn't actually have that great of an imagination. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't.
Speaker 2:But I think that's kind of true. He kind of does it Not compared to the kid. The kid makes his first thing and he's like, wow, that's impressive.
Speaker 1:And illegal, by the way, but we'll talk about that when we get there.
Speaker 2:No, Now can other people visit your Minecraft world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's two different ways you can play with other people because it's all server-based, so you can start a server with other people and they can come and go. So, yes, yes, you can, but you don't have to. You can also play solo.
Speaker 2:So are there other people that are in your world, or is it just your world?
Speaker 1:I have a world that I play with my nephews and some of their friends, and then I also with my nephews and some of their friends, and then I also have my own as well. Well, cause, you know, sometimes I just want to be by myself and build my own things, you know.
Speaker 2:Very interesting thing Night comes every 20 minutes.
Speaker 1:Even though, like it's, that's true to the, to the game. It's a very funny line which happens about every 20 minutes or so.
Speaker 2:And and immediate, a very funny line which happens about every 20 minutes or so. And immediate, I mean that's such a brilliant line because it immediately sets up that this is not our world. It has its own set of weird rules that are going to kind of become apparent, and it means something.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:It also means that there's a flexibility in this world that you're just if you're not on board with it. Right then, when he says that, then you're never going to be on board with it.
Speaker 1:You're going to hate the movie. You're going to hate the rest of the time in this movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's pretty amazing. So he makes friends with the wolf. He makes Steve's World, which is a whole amusement park which we never got to, which was too bad.
Speaker 1:There's pandas Right, and that one was pretty cool. That was pretty cool yeah.
Speaker 2:There's pandas, there's cows, there's ruins. He finds a chest. He opens his new portal which takes him to the nether, where there's no joy. Their lust for gold has made them ruin their whole place. There's the piglins. There's Malgosia, who is the queen of them. We find out that the cube he has is called the Orb of Dominance. They want to pillage the overworld, so they try and grab him, but he oh. They lock him up. Then he escapes. He gives the stuff to his wolf, who takes it to Earth and hides it in his house under his waterbed. Maybe that wasn't the safest place to put it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, good stuff. Very funny Because he does that whole plan. The whole plan happens and then we're cutting to the open credits or the opening Minecraft logo and the voiceover just basically goes. Wait, putting it in my water bed is a terrible idea. Minecraft, it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2:It's good. It's just like the jokes are placed. Well, you have people that can deliver jokes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do, you do. You got a couple of good ones.
Speaker 2:Now we meet Garrett the Garbage man, who is Jason Momoa's character. He is the aging video game player. He was very good at Hunk City Ramp as a hilarious name for a game, by the way gets the mail, it's his eviction notice. He goes to a storage auction. There's a 1978 atari cosmos. That's not a real thing, is it not?
Speaker 1:that I'm aware of. No, and I don't. I also don't think it would be worth them. I don't think systems are worth that much.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, if it was a super rare system and it was mid-boxed, maybe it was like a limited edition type of thing.
Speaker 1:This is one of my other favorite scenes. Oh really, him talking to the. What do you call him? I don't know the auctioneer.
Speaker 2:What's his name? It's Jermaine.
Speaker 1:Okay, I thought I was like it looks like him, but he's doing a great accent as opposed to a terrible accent, Our first real accent.
Speaker 2:He's an Australian playing an.
Speaker 1:American. I just I love his interaction with Jason Mowa before they go, when he's trying to be friends with him, and he's like just two big buffaloes out there in the wild wearing unisex turquoise blouses. I don't know why, but that line just killed me.
Speaker 1:Just absolutely slayed me. It stuck with me the whole movie. I went back. I had to go back afterwards to write it down because the whole time I was just like that's my favorite line of the movie. Oh, really, um, yeah, I love I'm. Plus, I love jermaine. That all makes sense. Now that I know that it's him, it all makes sense I mean I'm 99, it looked exactly like him, but the way he was talking I was like that can't be he's. But you know he's talented. So there you go these are these.
Speaker 2:You know, hire incredibly talented people and lo and behold, that's what you get some good stuff.
Speaker 1:I can't believe it.
Speaker 2:Never would have thought it he ends up winning you know, winning the auction. Nine hundred dollars goes in there. The cosmos box is empty. Oh, one of my favorite lines is he slips the check into his pocket to pay for it. He's like don't cash that for like six months or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was six First of all.
Speaker 2:Six months, Very long time not to cash a check.
Speaker 1:For those kids out there that have never seen or used a check before six months very long time. Don't do that.
Speaker 2:Very long time. And then he just starts trashing the thing and then we see the globe is, the orb is on the ground. So we're like, okay, he's got the orb. And then he's driving away and he's like I need a win. And you know playing the poison rock and roll music.
Speaker 2:His car breaks down and we see these other two kids driving by with their u-haul full of all their belongings. They are moving to town. We have the kid henry and his sister natalie, and somehow she's like his guardian, even though she seems like she's 16 years old.
Speaker 1:I guess she's older than I said 13, so you're, you're better than me. I should look look up. She looks very young, she looks she looks too young. While that's fine, Like it. Just it's jarring at first because you're just thinking to yourself like how is she one driving? And to the legal guard Like I understand, their mom passed away. But it's just, it's a little weird. It's a little a little weird, yeah.
Speaker 2:That. That that was if I was going to have one real critique of the movie is just have her be a little bit older or have their mom coming later or something, make her 16 with the driver's permit and then mom's coming in a month or whatever.
Speaker 1:It's just, she is 23 years old. She does not look 23 years old, she does not look 23 years old, I still don't believe it. I think that Google's lying to me yeah.
Speaker 2:So Henry's an electronics kid. They get to the house we see that the wolf is creeping around. Yeah, the sister has a job doing social media for the potato chip company.
Speaker 1:Another great line. She's like I'm'm gonna try to get their subscribers over 75 and I was like that's great what a low bar good for you and that's the thing.
Speaker 2:You set the low bar to make it go like oh wow, this is. Things are not good the things. Things are not good at the potato chip factory they meet don at the house, meet Dawn who runs a zoo on wheels, because there's an alpaca in her car and I didn't notice it at first. But then, when they shoot the car again, it has two stacks of giant cages on top.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure does. Yeah, very funny. What a brilliant job plan this is. I love it.
Speaker 2:Career trajectory I'm going gonna start a mobile zoo yeah, and the good thing about these jokes is they don't. They're just, they're there and they're gone. They don't like sit on them and say like look, how great we are for making this joke they're just like no, we see, I mean, that's the napoleon dynamite in it.
Speaker 1:Right like it's just, you know, you throw it, you leave it, you throw it, you leave it. You're just like what is? What is it? What is it? My head is spinning and I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's why you love Napoleon Dynamite? I think so.
Speaker 1:Actually, this is I was thinking about this last night because we're watching this movie and I'm like I do, I do get the Napoleon vibes. Like I understand. Like it's you know the random humor and it's very silly. Like it's you know the random humor and it's very silly. I think I hate John Heater Is that how I say his name? I think I just hate him so much that I could never enjoy that movie because it's all him. It's all him and I just I really don't like him. Wow, I'm pretty sure that's what it is. So I do want to re-watch that movie with with that thought in my head of be like, well, ignore everything your main character does and just see if you enjoy. Like what's pedro? Like that guy, like I, I don't know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna check it out at some point and uh, what's his?
Speaker 2:tina majorino as the as the love interest. She's saying funny um, okay, boom, boom, henry's an electronics kid. They're melancholy. A little bit of time passes.
Speaker 1:The sister makes him a tater tot breakfast pizza to take him to school Boy that looks good, give out slices first of all. That's never going to slice. Okay, Tater tots are just gonna fall off that thing uh. But I love it because it's like a play on the tater tot hot dish which was uh big when I was growing up in the midwest. That was like a big thing for us.
Speaker 2:so I just yeah, very funny um, he stops by the game store on his way to school. And this, this is just like Jason. Jason just goes nuts in this scene. He just he's yeah.
Speaker 1:It's delightful.
Speaker 2:Cause it's.
Speaker 1:It's a really well acted scene where he's, like you know, he's offering mentorship to the kid for $50 an hour Trying to sell this kid on his new, his new, like how to be cool, like lifestyle thing.
Speaker 2:it's great, it's good um ends up taking the tots he. He gives him a hot garbage tip.
Speaker 1:There is no I in team I think my favorite line is I don't remember exactly what the kid says, but he like can't, he's, I don't know something. And jason moore says non-committal, classic loser mentality.
Speaker 2:That's such a great line I like I loved it and you felt like they were gonna set up what the kid had to go through. But they were just like momo is just like just just going for.
Speaker 2:Here's a bunch of stuff blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah nothing. It's just like here's a bunch of stuff. Yeah, he gets to the school Jennifer Coolidge is like the vice principal or something and she starts doing this whole thing about her marriage falling apart. Yep, getting a divorce, yep. Oh, but she did say the great line we stuck out the marriage for the four dogs.
Speaker 1:For the dogs, for the dogs. But she said they've been doing it for 20 years. That math doesn't really line up, dan. I don't know if you know this, but either their dogs are very, very old or they just kept getting dogs and then they just kept sticking it out, and I choose to believe it's that one. Like they just repeatedly got new dogs and we're like well, I guess we got to stay together because we got a new dog he goes into the art slash gym class where, uh, you know he's the new.
Speaker 2:he gets a little roasted. He's a scientist and so they're to kind of like prove it. So he makes a whole rocket system, puts it on the skeletons. The bad kids clip one of the wires and it goes up and I was like, well, that's strange. You would have thought that clipping the wires would have made it not work.
Speaker 1:I thought they killed it yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, subjugation of our expectations. It goes up. Then it turns and we see the potato chip factory and it has a big potato chip mascot guy. Yeah, it goes right towards it. It's the thing, and it like falls tumbles off the roof into the river into the river and I was just laughing.
Speaker 2:I was like this was my my probably my second biggest laugh in the movie and he's just like and the you know, the sisters in there working and everybody's you know, and they're all like good. The good news is nobody died and oh, he's taking the principal's office. The good news is nobody died. And they're like you gotta got to call your guardian. He calls Jason Momoa.
Speaker 1:Yeah, another great Momoa moment coming up here. So the kid asks him can you come to my school and pretend to be my uncle? And Momoa's response is no, no, I don't do that anymore, that's what you say.
Speaker 2:That's what you say. That's of course what you say.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love it, he's done stuff this guy just cracked me up and what I don't do that anymore.
Speaker 2:And what does the kid say? I got 23 in my pocket.
Speaker 1:And then the next scene momoa is there, it's, it's, it's beautiful, uh, I do want to say one thing about the previous scene where he's in gym slash art class. This gym teacher is my least favorite part of this whole movie. Oh, okay, and it is. He is the most napoleon dynamite. He is pretty napoleon character in the whole movie. So that does make me worried about re-watching napoleon, because I saw that and I was like, oh, you are literally from napoleon dynamite. I thought maybe it was even one of the characters. I don't know, I don't, I don't know well enough. I did not like him and he had one of my favorite lines of the movie where he's like talking about how he has two jobs or something and he he's like, but financially I'm living a nightmare and I I wanted to laugh and I didn't really laugh and I just didn't like him. So that's my big complaint to the movie is, uh, I would have liked anybody else, just anyone else, in that role. But I'm sure people loved it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I thought it was fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, you like Napoleon Dynamite.
Speaker 2:You have bad taste. What can we do about it? Oh, so Natalie gets home, can't find Henry because he's down at the store and they're not doing that. Well, because Jason Momoa kind of gets mad at the kid and throws his notebook in the trash. But they're like oh okay, oh, the kid puts the things together, he puts the cubes together. Oh, jason Momoa tries to sell him the cubes for for 9500, for 950 dollars, I think.
Speaker 1:And then they find the instructions which are like don't, don't do this, and of course they do it and then on the back of the instructions is something about how, like, even though there's a great amount of treasure here, don't do even if you're a struggling business on, like it's just very, it's specifically jason. It's a lovely amount of treasure here. Don't do it, even if you're a struggling business, like it's just very, it's specifically Jason, it's a lovely little scene.
Speaker 2:Basically it points them in the direction to follow the cube for a month, yeah, you know. So Natalie can't find Henry, so Don's like well, just to find a phone. So basically we all end up at the mine.
Speaker 1:Well, again she's got a great line. She goes, Don goes, he's fine, he's just playing in an abandoned mine shaft. Great, great line.
Speaker 2:He does say that they get sucked through the portal, they all bouncing off of each other. I believe Don says she goes my butt.
Speaker 1:My butt, my butt. Yeah, she goes my butt.
Speaker 2:My butt, my butt. Yeah, just a better line delivery than anything in Drive Away Dolls. That one line, my butt. I believe Jason Momoa says this isn't Idaho. I think this is Wyoming.
Speaker 1:Wyoming. Yeah, what a stupid line. Shut up there's a difference.
Speaker 2:Okay, and one of the weird villagers goes to Earth and we have these scenes of.
Speaker 1:Did I miss him actually going to Earth?
Speaker 2:He goes through the portal, he walks through the portal.
Speaker 1:One of them goes through the portal I must have missed that part, but all of a sudden he's there and I was like, okay, we're doing this, now I'm on board. I just don't remember it.
Speaker 2:And basically he gets hit by Jennifer Coolidge's car, her Grand Cheap Cherokee.
Speaker 1:Grand Cheap Cherokee. Why is that funny? It works.
Speaker 2:It works Because it's delivered by a professional comedian.
Speaker 1:She is very funny.
Speaker 2:You know we've probably talked about this. You know, we? What was it in my one? My one sketch was a see me valley, yeah, see me valley. And then we had our friend sue kate. When she said it, we just you knew it was going to be. It was going to become a joke and all you're doing is saying the name of a city and all she does is say the name of her vehicle, but she does it consistently, at incorrect times, essentially, and it becomes a joke and that's how comedy works.
Speaker 1:She's delightful. I love her so much. I did a rewatch of Joey the Friends spinoff because they released it on the YouTubes. The friends spinoff because they released it on uh the youtubes and uh she's. She plays the agent and she is just completely unhinged in that show and it's just she's. She's just great.
Speaker 2:She's a national treasure she's, uh, you know, the last of the character actors, um, and so basically she like has a romance with this, with this guy, and and it's awesome and it's just. We probably won't talk about it much because it's just these weird little, these weird little scenes that appear for, for, for 90 seconds or two minutes really, just so we can like take a break and reset.
Speaker 1:And it works works every time. Yeah, she does have my one of my favorite jokes in the movie, so I will talk about that shortly.
Speaker 2:Great. So Malagosius says to Steve, go get me the orb and I'll spare the dog's life. Like, oh okay, that's interesting. Jason tries to talk to a sheep and then, boom, it becomes night. Here come arrows, they run, henry hits, henry hits a tree, it turns into a small block and then he realizes how you sort of can take materials, shrink them down and then boom them again to make them big yeah, great stuff, great, great stuff yeah, so he makes a house but they sort of lose the cube and then Jason's falling down this pit and then he sort of digs and he meets a plant person and then he hits it and it explodes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't quite understand the plant people.
Speaker 1:Well, that's what they do, so they're like zombies. Oh they're like zombies, but if you hit them, if you attack them because that's how you have to kill things they chase you. If you hit them, they're light zombies and then the cube got broken or just split into the two parts.
Speaker 2:I wasn't quite sure it got broken, the outer shell also. The outer shell's gone for good. That's the issue.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, so they have to find another outer shell, and there's only one other one they got it, so they or they have to craft.
Speaker 2:He has to craft it, or was it?
Speaker 1:craft. No, no jack has one in the whatever the woodland area is called, in one of his chests.
Speaker 2:Oh, those are his chests in that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those are his chest, which is one of my favorite game references in the whole movie, which is just all the chests in Minecraft have a limited amount of space that you can store things at. So, like, if you come to one of my, one of my towns, there are hundreds of chests everywhere because you have to put so much stuff away. So you got, you got blocks, you got ores, you got weapons, you just hey, stop out. So you have hundreds of chests just spread all over and it's always a mess and I just loved that they how do you find what you're looking for?
Speaker 1:you don't? It's super annoying. So a lot of people like, group them together so they'll have like, oh, stones are here, gems are here, you know things like that. Yeah, I don't, it's super annoying. So a lot of people like, group them together so they'll have like, oh, stones are here, gems are here, you know things like that. Yeah, I don't do that, I just, I have shit everywhere. Then I just have to keep running checking chests. I'm like, where did I put it?
Speaker 2:jesus christ, it's annoying oh okay, so they save jason, and now steve shows up with an axe and starts fighting the zombies and kicking their butts and helping them. So now we've got everybody together it's a party and he just does his announcement. I am Steve and he explains that they have to go get this crystal thing or the outer crystal, and they have to go to the woodland castle to get it. So woodland castle isn't a real thing, that's just his thing no, I think it is I think it is a real place.
Speaker 1:I'll double check, but I'm pretty sure it is okay so then they go to the village.
Speaker 2:There's the weird villagers outruns, this pig wearing a crown, and they think that's important. But it's not important. We meet iron golems, which are the golems that protect the villagers, but they only protect the villagers if you attack them first.
Speaker 1:Okay, I've got the answer. Woodland mansions are a naturally generated structure in Minecraft, which are found in the dark forest biome. So there you go.
Speaker 2:So they naturally spawn, you don't have to build them but you can then go in and state put your stuff there if you want to put your stuff there. For whatever reason, we do a whole steve's hot lava chicken thing and he does a song great, great.
Speaker 1:I listen.
Speaker 2:It's dumb, it's real dumb, but I liked it a lot and he and jason compete over eating the hot chicken and jason eats it like it's been cooked by lava.
Speaker 1:Don't do it, it's great. And then he like cries after everyone leaves. It's very funny, my, what? My favorite, my, the reason why this is my favorite momoa performance, by the way way is 100% his screams. That he does. He has the ability somehow I don't know what's, you know to give these like very shrill screams, and they use it a lot in this movie and I really enjoy it. It makes me laugh every time.
Speaker 2:He's always getting his butt kicked. Yes, he is getting knocked over, kicked around, you know, they just lay it on him and it's quite pleasant. You're like, oh good, we meet General Chungus, he's got to go capture Steve. Then we kind of lay out that creativity equals survival here. Okay, we go to Steve's stash.
Speaker 1:Which, if we're critiquing, they don't really hammer that home. What do you mean? There's not a ton of creativity that saves the day in the third act.
Speaker 2:No, it's all the same. No, he just it's. The kid has to do it with his gun. Yeah, which?
Speaker 1:is not a weapon that you can make in Minecraft. You can't make a gun that shoots stuff. You can make a gun. You can't make a tater tot gun using parts from the real world. That's ridiculous. Well, yeah, they said he's the only one that's ever done that. Yeah, exactly because it's against the rules. Okay, you got to live within the world of Minecraft.
Speaker 2:Guys, if we're getting nitpicky, but we're not, because it's fun maybe jail broke the game alright, that must be it we're introduced to the crafting table, where you put some stuff on it, then you bang it and it turns into things um, garrett makes some buck chuckets, he makes the tot launcher.
Speaker 1:I will say, when he makes the buck chuck it's great name, by the way, very funny, it's very funny and he demonstrates them, yeah, but he does it with like the saddest look on his face ever and it's like very, very sad nunchucking. It's great. It's great little performance there. Jason momoa wow you just uh.
Speaker 2:I thoroughly enjoyed this movie I know, um boom, the alarm bell sounds. Here come the general with the pigs. They're trashing the town, chungish talks with steve and we find out that they still sort of have their thing going on. Uh, jason fights a pig. The girls pick up weapons. They fight pigs. The iron golem saves jason. They go up to the ramparts. The guys and the girls are split up. So now the girls are kind of on one path where they don't really get to do anything and we don't have to deal with them, and then the guys get to do everything yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, then we have the flight wings. So he's got two sets of flight wings. He puts one on the kid, one on jason. He doesn't have another one.
Speaker 1:The kid jumps, flies jason, actually jason momoa throws the kid off the cliff, which is hilarious, uh. And then jason momoa jumps and then jack likes like I wish I would have brought three. And then he jumps and then you just see him fall and then he's flying. He's never-ending storying on the back of Jason Momoa. He's got his hair on like reins and he's got a leg wrapped around him and he's like let my hips be your guide. It is delightful, it's so funny. It's so funny, it's so stupid. And then they have to. Can we just go right into when they have to change their positioning because they're about to go through something?
Speaker 2:The bad guys come on hot air balloons, which are these big square monster things, which I really liked, and they're shooting fireballs and things. And they shoot a fireball into this one canyon and they're going to have to go through this hole. That's the only place, because they don't have the altitude, yeah, and they have to rearrange.
Speaker 1:They rearrange, starts yelling, go nose to toes, nose to toes, so they go into a well, a 69 position, which is always delightful, and he's, and momo is like you gotta squeeze together. I don't know. The whole thing is great. It's a wonderful scene. Uh, it's slightly dirty, but in a very kid-friendly way and uh, I loved it.
Speaker 2:I loved every second of it, screaming at each other. You know you know, and you don't know what's going on and and it's just very funny uh, they have to do a man sandwich through the hole. Man sandwich, yeah, do they say man sandwich, or did I make that up?
Speaker 1:I, I'm not. I honestly don't even know they're yelling so much stuff. I'm always screaming at them. I don't know they're just yelling and yelling.
Speaker 2:Henry uses a rocket, they crash and they use a water bucket so that they don't get hurt, which was yeah, great, great game reference. Now can you do all that stuff in the game the the water bucket.
Speaker 1:So that's how, if you, you do take fall damage in minecraft, so to stop that you have to fall into any amount of water. Basically so if you have water, you throw it down and it will it'll negate your fall damage can you make those wings and? Fly around? Um, yes, you can, but it just depends on your game mode. I'm pretty sure because you can. Yeah, you can get wings and you can fly up and like build sky structures and stuff which is cool, that'd be fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, uh, the girls try to make a boat. They fail miserably.
Speaker 1:That was great kind of funny.
Speaker 2:It's just a block. Yeah, it's good. The romance continues with Jennifer Coolidge and the villager. They're talking about divorce. The boys want some answers and so we set up how Malgosia went on Nether's Got Talent and tried to sing and got humiliated. So stupid. That was funny, it's funny.
Speaker 1:It's funny, it's just so dumb.
Speaker 2:See, now, that's the kind of thing it is. You know, a reference to our world, but it's like also blurred through the world, through this world 100%, so you don't have to spend any time explaining the joke. It's just like we have this gut doubt. Okay, we got the joke.
Speaker 1:They're like okay, we get the concept, yep, we're on board, we've seen it in the real world, we get it. But they, boy, were they vicious? Yeah, they were.
Speaker 2:Malagosha's. Now Chungus goes back there, general Chungus, and she's unhappy with him, so she calls out the Great Hog and the great hog kills Chungus. When he kills the things, they turn into little steaks or little pork chops. They turn into little pork chops.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how you collect. So you kill something that turns into meat, and then you get to cook the meat and eat the meat, and that's how you stay alive.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, well, so we have Natalie and Dawn walking at night being worried about Henry, but we see that they've become really good warriors and just killing things right, left and right, just slaying while they're talking.
Speaker 1:It's fun.
Speaker 2:And does it become like that in the game, where zombies initially are very dangerous, but then at a certain point they're completely not dangerous?
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, because I mean you'll get like they don't really change, right, but you'll get like you know, you'll make armor, you'll make better weapons, you get some bow and arrows, so you don't even get close.
Speaker 2:yeah yeah, yeah. So you know, you're just showing how game progression works in the scene, without talking about game progression where it's like, yeah, they are now adept at doing yeah like look how good we are now.
Speaker 1:This is becoming so much easier now. You don't have to do any of that. They're just killing people while having a normal conversation. It's really nice it's.
Speaker 2:You know, they and that's the thing you know. I can see people talking about this and not looking at those really subtle things like that. Sure, yeah, that are that are dealing with this world as a game world and has how characters are. We get used to things and it just you know, it's like when you go to drive a car, you don't think I'm gonna crash into everything. You start a car, yep, and they're just, they're part of the game now and it's just how they do things. Um, boom, boom, boom. They run into the wolf, dennis and don bonds with it and then he is going to be able to lead them to where they are and we can get the whole team back together. Love it, love it. They're in the redstone mines. They've gone to the redstone mines because there are diamonds there which Jason wants to get. Does he get the diamonds and put them in his pockets, or does he not?
Speaker 1:I mean, he does, but we never really come back to that. Yeah, which is fine.
Speaker 2:That's fine. Yeah, this movie does not spend a lot of time being manipulative about that kind of thing. Yeah, about you betraying your friendships to get money or to get success or whatever.
Speaker 1:Usually, a movie would have played that much harder. Yeah for sure. But he gets to be mad at him for like five minutes and we get the nice line in a little bit which is Jason's like are you still mad at me? Or something. He's like it just happened, it's great.
Speaker 2:Beautiful line. Yeah, it's really nice, Because usually they don't you, don't you either like it either just disappears or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's good, it's all good. Jason falls into the booby traps. They get to the diamonds. Here comes the great hog. They get in the mine carts. The mine cart runs down in the middle of the creeper farm and then Garrett has to get out and push. They get up to speed and then the whole mine blows up. Okay, yeah, henry's mad because Jason came for the diamonds, yeah, and he's like I need money, my life sucks there.
Speaker 2:I said it I'm alone and he's like you know, then we do a friendship thing, we do a friendship thing and I was like I was wondering how much I was gonna feel and I was like, okay, I was wondering how much I was going to feel and I was like, okay, I am starting to feel about these characters, that was the point. It wasn't high but it was like medium and later on it goes to high. Yeah, so I got there. And then Jack Black's character says one of the best lines ever.
Speaker 1:He says sorry about your finances sorry about your finances and that's it. And then they just walk off.
Speaker 2:No, no, that's jason says shut up, steve, oh yeah but what what?
Speaker 1:they don't deal with it at all. It's just such a nice yeah, what a line.
Speaker 2:Sorry about your finances and jack black delivers it 10 times better than I did he. He delivers I. I mean, he's Jack Black, sorry about your finances or something. I don't even know what he does. It's great.
Speaker 1:Keep trying. I think people will enjoy it Dan.
Speaker 2:They've arrived at the Woodland Mansion and Jason gives the oar back to Henry, and Henry kind of yells at him too. I think this might have been the one where Because he's had it the whole time.
Speaker 1:You forgive me.
Speaker 2:You know he's like I'm still mad at you. Yeah, so they need a diversion, because there's different monsters on each level of the woodland mansion and Jason and Jack Pike become the Mushroom Band and do this insane song.
Speaker 1:Which is pretty fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, henry's upstairs, he has to face axe murderers. He gets to the room of boxes, goes through the boxes, gets mesmerized. Oh no, we go back and forth. He gets mesmerized and there's this big evil creature, the Enderman. Oh, is that what it is, the Enderman? And he kills that and he gets a teleportation module. Yeah, is that what you always get?
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me tell you real quickly that he kills that thing pretty easily. They're pretty hard.
Speaker 2:Okay, they're pretty hard.
Speaker 1:I've gotten murdered a bunch, but yeah, I think the whole thing is he's very good at the game.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's very good at the game. Our guys get taken to the fight club and then this is the whole boxing ring with the chicken jockey and the little Frankenstein riding the chicken, which is great, it's a great scene. And Jack Black's like keep him away from your face. Yeah, In the end Jack Black's able to untie himself and save the day, and like kind of headbutt him? Does he headbutt the guy he like shoots through the air?
Speaker 1:He kind of does the salmon.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It's great, it's very weird. And Henry appears and then they leave. Malagosha makes a new giant hog and steals the cube. They throw Hank. Oh, so they have to escape. So Jason Momoa throws Henry onto a balloon. Then they use a slime cube. Oh, they're on the bridge and there's explosives. So they throw two of them on the balloon and then Jason's staying behind. I like slime cube a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, slimees are great.
Speaker 2:And then he gets Jason Momoa, gets another one of the greatest lines in the movie. Tell my story in song In song. Real metal with real instruments.
Speaker 1:In real instruments.
Speaker 2:There's a couple more lines in there too, but tell it in song real metal with real instruments.
Speaker 1:I was like wow.
Speaker 2:Very funny Going down brace for impact. So they shoot off and then they crash and they get knocked unconscious. They wake up. They're in this beautiful mushroom hunt and Natalie's there and dennis is there. Everyone is there and we're heading into the third act yeah, we are third act is a big laser beam which brings the great darkness to the sky beam. Is that what?
Speaker 1:it's called sky beam. I mean not, that's just in general, that's like the third act thing. Marvel did them for a long time.
Speaker 2:And it turns dark. And then this is where we are, back in Steve's place, making all the stuff necessary to fight the bad guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, crafting Minecraft, they do a little handshake. The one, two, three. Is that this scene at the end of it, at the end of them making everything and they're like all right hands in the middle. One, two, three, something. Everyone says something, it doesn't matter, it's very funny Probably was.
Speaker 2:I didn't write that down it's very funny. And then so they make an Iron Golem army. And then you know they're like oh, the iron golems are worthless unless you provoke them and the one guy shoots them with an arrow.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And then they say Travis, why did you do that? Once again, you put a stupid name on that one pig and you're like there's a joke. See that's how you use references as jokes. You surprise us. You're like there's a mindless guy that did something wrong. You give him a name. Now, he's not a mindless guy. He's someone that we're never going to talk about again.
Speaker 1:But they know him. You know what I mean. Like they know this guy.
Speaker 2:Steve goes to fight Malgosia. Um, doesn't go that well, they egg attack. Don is about to fight the big pig, but then dennis and his all his, he's got a bunch of little wolves. Now, yeah, um, henry uses the teleportation to get up the top, but then they blow him off. And then here comes, uh, here, jason momoa. He saved himself with the water bucket trick.
Speaker 1:Oh, just just see this the day good so give us the one line yeah, all we ever need, and I mean they did it very well though, because it's also a call back to earlier in the movie, so like it's it's a, it's a well done, one line, you know it's crafted put in there at the.
Speaker 2:You know we're like, oh okay, he's giving us an explanation, an explanation that we understand and we've seen in a movie and we've seen it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly logic.
Speaker 2:so it works um steve defeats. Oh, natalie ends up with the orb. Oh yeah, they. They the wait. Hold on what happened. Oh, they fireball. Hey, hold on, hold on Fire. They fireball the portal. Oh yeah, they use the pig thing that he's on to blast the portal apart. Here comes the sun. Everybody's burning up. The golems defeat the pigs, natalie gets the orb, steve has defeated malgosia and we have the best scene in the whole movie by about 10 000.
Speaker 2:My god, this scene whoever wrote this scene should be given an award, a comedy award and then just yeah, she's no, she's on the ground. She's like come closer, I have something to see you. And he's like do you have a tiny knife that you're gonna try to stab me when I come closer? She?
Speaker 1:said no, no, I'm too weak, I'm too weak. She pulls the knife on him, he bats it away and it's so slow like she's so slow with it, there's no surprise to it at all and he just swats it away very casually no, no, there is something come closer come close.
Speaker 2:It's like it's her second knife. Does it again.
Speaker 1:The third time.
Speaker 2:And he starts to walk away. Then she pulls the knife out and she tries to throw it. She says sneak attack, but she doesn't have the energy. It was comedy timing perfection.
Speaker 1:Just that whole scene was shot together perfectly.
Speaker 2:I mean cut together perfectly.
Speaker 1:All the lines were perfect jack is perfect, delivers all of that, absolutely just. It's. It's wonderful, it's, it's worth. Even if you didn't love the movie, it's worth sitting through it just to see that scene that scene.
Speaker 2:Just it, just because it you know, it blows up all horror tropes, all those you know like, oh look out he's.
Speaker 2:He just just like with the minor at the and that's the thing they set it up with the minor at the beginning head fake, yeah he's, he's not gonna fall for the the tricks, he's gonna be able to do his thing, um. And then we talk about what's gonna happen and, uh, dennis is gonna go with dawn and we do a whole oh, because mason mamo's character's been speaking spanish the whole movie and so he's like vaya con dios and the the sister's, like that means goodbye doesn't mean goodbye no, it doesn't.
Speaker 2:No, it doesn't and he it doesn't. No, it doesn't, and he has these reflective glasses that he's always doing. Yeah, he's cool.
Speaker 1:He's cool, but he's a nerd, but he's a loser. Yeah, he's the guy that thinks he's cool but peaked when he was 12, when he won that competition. It's great, it's great stuff, it's good stuff.
Speaker 2:So Steve goes back with them and then they all have new lives. Oh wait, hold on.
Speaker 1:So my favorite Momoa line of the whole movie is at this final scene. He's saying goodbye to Jack Black and gets in close to Jack and he's like come visit anytime because Henry's great. But I don't have a lot of friends my age, I just fucking lost it. Man, oh, he delivers. It was with like just the right amount of like angst and irony that it's just, oh God, all right, but Mo is great in this movie. I just there's nothing else to say, I just love it so much.
Speaker 2:What was your favorite?
Speaker 1:You had a Jenniferennifer coolidge thing, I think. Oh yeah, so some, at some point I don't know that we cut back there a couple times. I don't know. The waiter comes over, yeah, he looks at the minor and he's like, are you finished? And she goes no, I think he's swedish. Oh yeah, he does that. It's the dumbest joke I've ever heard in my life. It's like it's level 10 idiocy and I just it broke. I cracked up. She delivers it so dead. It's great. She kills it. I think he's Swedish, yeah.
Speaker 2:So they all come back. Don's doing her zoo and make her living. The sister opens a self-defense school, the kid makes the jet pack work, and then Jason and Jack are in their own weird band and then they play a song, great ending song.
Speaker 1:Yeah, great ending song. You know you don't get a lot of good topical ending songs anymore. We just don't do it that much anymore but it's nice, that's it's shrek right yeah, yeah, there you. It's been a while, but this is great, this is very fun, very fun ending scene.
Speaker 2:It looked good. The character was always interesting. I don't know they pulled this one off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, it's zany, it's not going to be for everyone. No, I'm fine if you don't like it. It's an acquired taste. I'm fine, I'm fine. If you don't like it, it's an acquired taste, I'm sure. But to make a Minecraft movie is weird, because there's no story to the game. You're just building, so like you have to create something, and I think they created something that's very fun and obviously resonates with the kids that play the game, because it made a bajillion dollars. So good on them, on them, make a broad comedy.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't remember that much about the super mario brothers movie, but it felt like it was kind of like this, where it's just kind of like this thing it's, it's not.
Speaker 1:I mean it's, it's good, it's good, it's cute, it's not as zany. Obviously. It's more of a straight lace like oh, we're a cute animated film and it's great. I really enjoyed it. But I like this movie way more than I liked that one Really Okay.
Speaker 1:Interesting, yeah. Yeah. Also, there's an ending credit scene Did you watch that in the credits where it turns out the villager can talk the whole time? Well, the villager has learned to talk english. Well, he said something like he was so shocked by her beauty or love or something that he was rendered speechless, or something like that. I think it was rendered the ability to speak I think he gained the ability to speak.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that and then she's gained the ability to speak villager, which is just like and it's uh, it's what's his name? Laszlo from. Uh, matt barry, it's matt barry is does yes, okay yeah, well, yeah, it's very good get matt barry to do the voice in your movie. That's uh, you know, yeah, that's what you get to do, not bad uh well, I was pleasantly surprised by this top to bottom.
Speaker 1:I had a great time. The kids are going to love it. There's a couple. You know, just be careful, there's a couple of hells in it. I saw people all upset about that on Reddit.
Speaker 2:They're like I'm so sick of curse words.
Speaker 1:In my kids' movies it's like is hell really even a curse word? I don't know. I don't have kids. I don't know Make. I don't have kids, I don't know. Make your own choices, but there's a couple of hells in it.
Speaker 2:It's only a curse word. If you use it as a curse word, right, that's a good point, that's a good point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no one's like go to hell, you're going to hell. It's just like what the hell you know that sort of thing yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It was a roller coaster ride. I had a good time. It's like going to an amusement park. That's what this movie is like.
Speaker 1:And going on, like the Tower of Terror, because it's intense. It's intense the whole time. It is a movie that I will watch again. I'll tell you that right now. I'm going to watch it again at some point. Yeah For sure, definitely a fun movie. Okay, all right. Well, well, now Dan gets to pick. So I'm sure the movie next week is going to suck. But first we have to talk about what we liked, I guess.
Speaker 2:I. So there's. I saw this promo for this Nicole Kidman show Nine Perfect Strangers. They like new season and like each season is like you know, and everyone's like this is the worst White Lotus, you know. It's like this is the worst white lotus, you know. You know it's where. It's like, oh sure, they go to some place. So I was like, oh, I'll watch that, but you know what I'll do. I'll skip the first season, I'll just watch the second season. I had to do some dang good cell logic just for you, don't he?
Speaker 1:oh damn, yeah, it's nonsense. Okay, yeah, how'd that work out two episodes in in really enjoyable? Okay, all right, do you?
Speaker 2:understand everything. Yeah, she's like a pharmacologist. You know who? Okay yeah. She doses, like the people that come to stay to try to deal with their traumas.
Speaker 1:On purpose, Like she's drugging them without them knowing it. Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, oh, oh yeah, oh yeah. Okay, that's wild, very interesting, interesting. Annie murphy is one of the one of the characters. And what?
Speaker 1:annie murphy is one of the actors eddie, I think he said eddie murphy, no, annie murphy. Yeah, I heard it now. I heard it the second time, yeah I understand.
Speaker 2:I understand what you're saying. Yeah, and Nicole Kidman plays the doctor and Nina Olin is in there it's interesting. You know, I mean it may all fall apart and I may never finish it, but I enjoyed those two episodes.
Speaker 1:I love it what do you got?
Speaker 2:I love it. What do you?
Speaker 1:got Tony, we finally watched.
Speaker 2:Bad Monkey on Apple TV Plus with Vince Vaughn. You told us you already did that.
Speaker 1:You already did that once, Did I start? Well, we started it. We finally finished it this week and I watched it a second time. That's how much I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:I watched the first episode and maybe some of the second episode.
Speaker 1:And you quit.
Speaker 2:It was enjoyable, but um what's? My, what's my problem? I didn't. I don't think I had a problem with it, I just sure I just not, your, not your cup of tea it wasn't the kind of mystery that I wanted to, you know, to go down.
Speaker 1:I like a different kind of I get that the mystery isn't really the driving force, if that makes sense you know what I mean like it's. It's kind of like a psych or a castle, where it's more like we're just here for the ride. We're not really here for the mystery of it all.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. It felt more like episode, it felt more like primetime.
Speaker 1:TV kind of storytelling Absolutely Great.
Speaker 2:Acting, great characters, yes, good looking, just very good and we had a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:We had a ton of fun yeah and uh, there's, there's some, there are some twists, but not to the mystery. Part of it's just everyone is crazy, like that's where you start learning more about these people and they're all super damaged, um, and just some of the things they do are very surprising, but it again has no bearing on like the overall story of it if that makes sense, but it's just, it's just it was a fun romp.
Speaker 1:Uh, I'm sorry I talked about two weeks in a row, then I apologize everyone's gonna be very angry.
Speaker 2:I didn't do anything else, though I got nothing else. I probably have lots of other things, because I always start a lot of things. I rarely finish them.
Speaker 1:I'm a big stickler for finishing. Yeah, I got to.
Speaker 2:Oh, I started Murderbot too.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, hey, let me start again. We started Murderbot this week, did you? We really enjoyed it. Yeah, we did.
Speaker 2:Interesting. I'm hoping it gets smoother. You know you don't think it's going to get smoother. Did you watch all three?
Speaker 1:No, I've only watched two. Okay, the third one dropped as well. I don't think it's going to get smoother.
Speaker 2:I'll just tell you that it just you know, not that it was not smooth, it was just you know the way they sort of. The way he talks is not. I don't care for it and I feel like there could be some.
Speaker 2:He just feels like another human being speaking Sure, and I wanted there to be some, you know, like this and that's why I really like Minecraft is these characters felt off, kilter enough so that they weren't just you, didn't feel like you were. They were just people, just normal human beings yeah, for sure he didn't feel like, like. Did you ever see the? The? The documentary about the guy who was the king of donkey kong?
Speaker 1:king of kong uh, yeah, I watched it a couple years ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that guy felt like a normal guy this movie.
Speaker 1:he is a heightened version of that, oh yeah, big time.
Speaker 2:And Murderbot. Nobody feels heightened in some ways, where it's like he's a robot. I would like to see something about him that makes me think oh, he's a robot.
Speaker 1:You didn't think that when they show him naked and he's got no pee-pee.
Speaker 2:That's not him talking and expressing in some way.
Speaker 1:It made me laugh when he was a Barbie doll. I thought it was funny, ken doll, excuse me.
Speaker 2:Barbie doll has all the features Jesus Christ Well, the ones I buy, so we need a bad movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, bring it back down, bring the podcast back down 1996 great year. Billy zane. Billy zane, oh, as the lead. Is this a billy zane led film? Oh, boy, okay, billy zane.
Speaker 2:Batman is all the rage. So what do we do? We make every other superhero into a movie. Oh, which one did he do?
Speaker 1:Did he do Phantom what?
Speaker 2:did he do? He was the Phantom.
Speaker 1:The Phantom. I never saw this movie. I'm excited. Skin tight purple suit.
Speaker 2:Sexy. So we'll see. The phantom is, uh, and originally, I believe, an australian property, if I'm not, oh really I think it started as an australian newspaper strip. I could be wrong, but okay do some research for next week I'm gonna have to I had one phantom comic book through my childhood and it did not get well read, so I'm gonna have to try to understand what the deal of the phantom is you know what?
Speaker 1:okay, it's like.
Speaker 2:We all know what batman is right. You know his parents got killed, he's a multi-billionaire and makes gadgets and, you know, fights crime because he's trying to. Whatever we all know all these things, the phantom fill that void.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know and I'm gonna find out. I don't know either. I don't know nothing about it. I don't own any of the comic books. Let's do this thing.
Speaker 2:Let's hit the Phantom. Let's hit him. Oh, I burped, hit it. Well, that's the end of the show. If you like what you see, give us a thumbs up, give us a like or subscribe. Those are all All things you could do to or go and watch all of our shorts, some of which have like 20 views and some of which have 5,000 views.
Speaker 1:I don't yeah, I don't understand how to do shorts. I'm just going to tell you that right now I don't understand the game.
Speaker 2:It just decides some of them to show to everyone and some not show to everyone I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know nothing about nothing.
Speaker 2:And we'll be back next week talking about Billy Zane's the Phantom. Goodbye everybody.