Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Drive-Away Dolls: Love is a sleigh ride through bad cinema
When the Coen brothers parted ways after decades of collaboration, film fans wondered what their individual work might reveal about their creative dynamic. Drive Away Dolls, Ethan Coen's first solo directorial effort, provides a fascinating if frustrating answer to that question.
This deep-dive episode explores how the absence of Joel's balancing influence results in a film where Ethan's stylistic tendencies become exaggerated to the point of self-parody. We analyze how the film's inconsistent tone, from Margaret Qualley's baffling Southern accent to the cartoon sound effects that punctuate scenes, creates a disjointed viewing experience where characters seem to exist in entirely different movies.
Through our conversation, we unpack why character relationships fall flat despite talented performers, how scenes lack proper setup and payoff, and why the film's attempts at madcap comedy often miss their mark. We highlight Beanie Feldstein's standout performance as the one consistently enjoyable element in an otherwise chaotic film.
Beyond mere criticism, our discussion examines the creative alchemy of successful partnerships and what happens when that balance is disrupted. We explore how the screenplay (reportedly written around 2000 and never updated) feels anachronistic in both humor and sensibilities, raising questions about creative decisions throughout production.
Whether you're a Coen brothers aficionado curious about their separate trajectories or simply interested in the dynamics of creative collaboration, this episode offers thoughtful analysis on how even talented filmmakers sometimes need the right partnership to bring out their best work. The conversation serves as both a critique of Drive Away Dolls and a celebration of what made the Coen brothers' joint filmography so special.
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So you've got to go to work at 10?.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, sure do, so we better start hey watchin' with Dan and Tony. Hey watchin' with Dan and Tony.
Speaker 1:It's like watchin'. Yeah, Welcome to hey Watchin' with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan, we're in time crunch today.
Speaker 2:Time crunch, tony. All right, we're going to talk really fast.
Speaker 1:We're going to get this done in about 35 minutes. Everybody, it's going to be incredible. I'll talk about this. Talk about the thing.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's what we do on the show. Thanks for coming everybody. Then we slowed it down. We bring it on down now.
Speaker 1:On this show we talk about a movie this week. I chose the movie. And I chose the first of the broken-up Coen brothers. They were struggling making movies. They just weren't having fun anymore. So they thought you know what we should do. We should go in our separate directions and have control over our own destinies and and make the movies that just we want to make.
Speaker 2:So the unfettered cohen, each cohen yeah, you know, because I mean, here's the thing, right.
Speaker 1:So they haven't made a good movie in about 30 years.
Speaker 2:Um, so I get it. I would be too, just artistically and personally, I would be very mad. I'd be like you know what? Let's try to do our own things and it turns out they're just as bad as the other things, or maybe worse. Maybe worse, I'm not sure. Maybe there's a little bit in real talk. Obviously there's some sort of balancing that happens when they're together. You know what I mean, when you take one away and then Ethan's like Well, I'm just gonna be a complete idiot For the next 80 minutes, so that's fun.
Speaker 1:So we're doing the Ethan Coen Jam co-written with Somebody. Maybe his wife Was standing around during some of it.
Speaker 2:No, it's a frequent collaborator. Okay, she did like around during some of it.
Speaker 1:No, it's a frequent collaborator.
Speaker 2:Okay, she did like editing on some of their older films and stuff and I guess.
Speaker 1:I just decided to write a couple of movies we're doing Drive Away Dolls from 2024 Hour and 24 Minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, her name is Trisha Cook. I just want to. You know we don't want to leave her out in the cold.
Speaker 1:She's maybe not as to blame, but before we talk about this movie, we're going to say this. This spoilers. This movie also deals with sexuality. It also deals with lesbianism, and that's not going to be our problem with the movie not even one of them I have so many problems with the movie and that doesn't even register.
Speaker 1:No you're watching this movie and you're just like it's pretty interesting because I think because of him being a Coen and because it's not a taboo subject, but it's like a subject that if you start going after it, people could say well, you're, you know, that's because of your bias or whatever. Blah, blah, blah. You're cis male gender.
Speaker 2:Well, I was reading a lot of Reddits and the Reddit threads. A lot of it was both there are. It turns out there is quite a bit of homophobia against this movie but then there's also people that bring up valid points about how terrible this movie was made.
Speaker 2:Yes, irregardless of the the content, just the fact that the movie is terrible. And then some people were like, wow, that's your homophobia. And I was like, actually no, because this movie sucks. Uh, I think, unfortunately, I think this is like, uh, you know, blight on a community, you know what I mean? Like it's, it's one of those things where it's like it's it sucks, that it sucks, yeah, because of this thing and it's like. Now there's like it's just it's a bad movie, though it's bad guys, it's, it's, it's bad.
Speaker 1:The thing is is when you make a movie that's sort of based in a community and you make a really terrible movie, maybe, you know, the one thing we're not going to be able to comment on is how well it represents the sort of characters that exist within a community like that. Sure, because we don't know them. You know there might be these characters and the way they act is drawn very well and I don't believe that I'm going to question that real quickly.
Speaker 2:Just on, what's the lady's name? Margaret Qualley, is that how I say it?
Speaker 1:Qualley, yes, qualley, there's. Just I say it Qualley, yes, qualley, there's just that's not a human.
Speaker 2:There's, there's nothing human like about this character, and this character should never have existed, ever in the world.
Speaker 1:Those things are all true, but I just mean like you know just sort of how her social interactions are and the way the community is, because you know yeah because you know I have some.
Speaker 1:You know I've talked to people that are in the Los Angeles gay community. You know we've had more of a more of an interaction with people in that community and so I have an idea of some things about that community and some things are kind of they're very different from a heterosexual community, blah, blah, blah. And so you can't entirely judge what what the community like in the bar scene. You know they someone watching it might be like this is exactly how the bar scene is. We're.
Speaker 2:We're a little more like oh, I mean, maybe it is, I don't know, who knows again I I have I don't believe I'm going to talk about that topic at all in my hatred for the movie. And let me tell you real quickly, it is a hatred for this movie. I hated almost every second of this movie that Beanie was not on screen. Beanie was funny. She's great, she's awesome.
Speaker 1:I love her Beanie was funny.
Speaker 2:She's great, she's awesome. I love her. She's funny, she's fantastic.
Speaker 1:But back to what point you were making. Is that because it has this, you know, because it sort of deals in these topics, it both has a shield around it, right? Because the critics are not going to give this one star or zero stars, because they're wondering if they should do that? Because you want movies like this to be good and to show that a movie like this can be good and is open to a wide audience and I think I mean have you seen Bottoms? By any chance it ran that right afterwards, I believe.
Speaker 2:I watched the beginning of it.
Speaker 1:And it didn't really do anything for me, and so I didn't.
Speaker 2:I watched maybe 10 or 15 minutes. It probably didn't make you want to murder anybody.
Speaker 1:It just didn't seem like my thing.
Speaker 2:Sure, and I think that's fine. I think that if you put those two movies together not that they're only two movies, I'm just saying I think Bottoms was done really, really well and I think it's much more accessible, and I think this movie is a pile of trash. But I was just saying that you want movies, these kind of movies, to be good, and I just think that Bottoms is a better example, that's all.
Speaker 1:Bottoms seemed to be a little more shifted in, not pointed directly at a mainstream audience. It seemed to be the jokes. It seemed very much wrapped up in that community, Like this movie feels, like it wants to be a mainstream movie.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, for sure 100%.
Speaker 1:And that basically anyone can. You know it's like RuPaul's Drag Race. At a certain point, love, that show Became a mainstream thing, for whatever reason. It's still very broad and it still really delves into a lot of things. But you know, me and my mother used to watch that show together, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it was great.
Speaker 1:She loved it. My mom loved that and it was wonderful. It was like you know. There were no barriers. Bottoms felt like it was super raunchy For sure. And then this movie you're like, oh okay, whatever. And then when it gets fairly raunchy you're just like it's just in such a dopey way yeah.
Speaker 2:You're just like it's just in such a dopey way. Yeah, and maybe I'm wrong, but this is how I feel about all Coen Brothers movies Except the ones you like.
Speaker 2:Even the ones I like are definitely leaning towards it. I just feel like they think they're more clever than they are. Just in general, I think they sit there and write and are like oh, it was so clever People are going to get this joke. Or some people are not going to get this joke because they're so highbrow but lowbrow at the same time. It's just dumb. I hate the way. I hate the way they write. Like I have a visceral hate for the way that they write and I understand that that's. It's not that it's necessarily bad and I think that they can do it well, but in gen I just don't like the way they write. And so to for me to like one of their movies, they have to be at like the top of their game at that, and this would be. This would be not the top of the game, you know this would be real towards the bottom of the game.
Speaker 1:Well, I guess he wrote this or they wrote this in 2000 and it's been sort of percolating around since then interesting which is interesting because it takes place in 1999 right.
Speaker 2:So they just didn't update the script. So they wrote it 20 years ago and then, like two years ago, they were like god, we should just make a movie because it's been a while. Well, let's pull out a script and not reread it at all, let's not read it before we start shooting, and let's just do the first draft we did 20 years ago. That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1:The other thing is that joel, who's you know, gone elsewhere the thing he, he did, macbeth last year he did. Macbeth with Denzel.
Speaker 2:Washington and his wife.
Speaker 1:I watched the first 10 minutes of it. Maybe five minutes of it Shot in black and white Looks like an Ingmar Bergman movie. Hyper serious yeah. And this makes you think that this movie, which is a lowbrow comedy, you know kind of madcap comedy, and then the other brother brings an austerity and a you know something like that, and then when you put them together, the two of them cancel out the other's most negative parts, yeah, the worst parts of each other.
Speaker 1:They're able to balance that out, I think Because there's some things in this movie where you're just like that just doesn't make any sense. Some things, yeah, but certain things that you're just like if you were working with another person who is looking at reality, they would say, no, we can't do this. We have to figure out a better way to get to this.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And a lot of times what happens is you have something you want to do and then the other person says we got to figure out a better way to get there, and the better way to get there becomes a better way to get there. Yeah, and it figure out a better way to get there and the better way to get there becomes a better way to get there, and and it starts it actually starts working and making sense. But yeah, this, this movie doesn't feel like it has anything to do with reality oh, no, no, no, of course not, not even a little bit.
Speaker 2:In fact, sometimes it just to your point. It does feel like there's an idea of, like, what we want this scene to be about, but there's no. They're just like I don't really know how to get into it. So let's just do it. Let's just go from a to c here and just be like, just do it, because people, have you seen the rest of this movie? Like it's not going to make a lot of sense. It's zany, it's fun, it's whatever. Like we don't need it to make sense. And I would like it to make some semblance of sense in my mind.
Speaker 1:And my point was that B is usually where the good stuff happens, sure, sure, where you're forced to justify it. And I'm going to do a couple of quick, actual Coen Brothers things. At the beginning of Raising Arizona, you have John Goodman and the other brother. They're in a thing like like this and they're talking about something and one of the guys like says this great line, we ate sand, saying that he was eating sand to survive. And one of the guys says you ate what?
Speaker 1:and the guy says we ate sand. Okay, three lines, but it's three lines that are perfection. It's this line that just doesn't Make any sense. But immediately One of the characters Questions it and the dude Doubles down on it.
Speaker 2:And he's just like no, no, we ain't saying Okay.
Speaker 1:We don't, we're never, we're never gonna know this, we're never gonna understand it, we're never gonna have the answer to that and that that entreats you. But someone is immediately as opposed to I ain't saying it, I was this and that's what this movie is just all. I eat sand at a certain point, seemingly, and you just go like what the heck?
Speaker 2:yes, yeah, I'm a little mad at you. I'm just throwing that out. There it was. It was not a fun night last night for me it was so much worse than I expected because I remember watching.
Speaker 1:I remember watching the trailer and going like okay, well, first of all the trailer's super misleading I think, is it?
Speaker 2:I didn't, oh yeah so we watched the trailer on saturday and then I watched the trailer on Saturday and then I watched the movie Sunday and I was like the trailer did not portray this movie correctly at all, Like it was not nearly as zany as the movie, like the trailer seemed like it was going to be like a fun mad caper and I understand that that's kind of in this movie.
Speaker 2:But it's so broad, it's so wacky and it's so stupid that the trailer does not do it justice at all. Also, the trailer features pedro pascal, for I would say half the trailer and almost all of his scenes from the trailer are his entirety of the movie. Like there's it's almost the exact same amount of screen time for Pedro in the trailer and the movie. Wow, yeah, yeah. So the trailer does not help you see this movie at all.
Speaker 1:Got it and I saw that trailer and I was like, yeah, I don't know man.
Speaker 2:I was. When we saw the trailer we were like, ok, this could be fun, except for this one lady's accent. And then it turns out she's the lead of the film and she's in all of the film and that accent never stops and it is the most grating thing in the world.
Speaker 1:Hold on. I'm going to say one thing about the accent.
Speaker 2:It does stop because she goes in and out of it every once in a while.
Speaker 1:Oh, maybe it does, but when she does it in the first couple of scenes it feels underdeveloped and then I mean not to say it develops into a real accent. It develops into something that you could kind of do. You know something I could? Do for a whole movie as opposed to at the beginning. You're like, yeah, no one one's gonna be able to keep that up at that.
Speaker 2:Well, they clearly shot it in order. Right that scene was clearly shot first and they were like we're gonna need to pull that back about 10 when they should have pulled it out 50, but you know who?
Speaker 1:am I to judge. I guess robert pattinson in some new movie plays like a southern guy and he wouldn't work with a dialect coach and he came up with his own way of speaking and he didn't let anybody hear it until day one.
Speaker 2:First of all, mad respect.
Speaker 1:He's a guy that pulls weird stuff off like that. He's a strange guy. He's the guy that pulls weird stuff off like that.
Speaker 2:He's a strange guy. He's real weird. He's a strange guy, but I have grown to respect him in a way that I never thought would happen, so that's good for you.
Speaker 1:He's incredibly enjoyable. Okay, let's go. We're into driveway dolls, philadelphia, 1999. We're at a diner or something Cicero's. There's a man clutching a briefcase. He's waiting for something. It's after midnight, he the the waiter guy kind of looks at him and he kind of gets freaked out. He flees down an alley, the waiter is following him, and then the waiter pulls out a corkscrew and corkscrews in his neck and then is it just me, or does pedro corkscrew it further?
Speaker 2:as opposed to going out, it seems like he's going in.
Speaker 1:I don't know it's very strange then he stabs him with a pen. And then a car pulls up to the front of the alley and a guy gets out with a hex. Oh, he takes the case to the car. And then a car pulls up to the front of the alley and a guy gets out with a hex. Oh, he takes the case to the car. And then a guy gets out of the car with a hacksaw and runs down the alley like he's going to cut him up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so here's the good thing thing. This is the. This is the one of the only good things I will say about this movie is, at this point, you know whether you're going to have fun or hate your life for the next 80 minutes. Like it comes out of the gate full swing. It doesn't. It doesn't ease you in, it's just like this is what we're doing. Either come along for the ride or fuck you. And um, I immediately was like I want to turn this movie off. I would if, if this was my normal life, I wouldn't watch another frame after this first scene. I'm done. I'm so done with this movie already. I hate the vibe. I hate the the script. I hate the words they're saying. I hate the way they're acting. I hate everything about this scene so much that I was ready to walk away. If we weren't watching it for this stupid podcast, I would have never finished this movie.
Speaker 1:I feel so vindicated.
Speaker 2:Well, because here's what it is right Like. I don't enjoy the Coen brothers and this is. It almost felt like an imitate, a poor imitation of a Coen Brothers movie made by a Coen Brother, so it's like he's almost trying too hard to be himself. It's this weird, I don't even know how to describe it, but it felt like a fake Coen Brother made by a Coen Brother, trying to prove that he's the better Coen Brother. That's how it felt to me and I just I hated every second of it. Did we watch Monkey Bone for this show? Cohen brother trying to prove that he's the better cohen brother? That's how it felt to me and I just I hated every second of it did we watch monkey bone for this show?
Speaker 2:is that? Is that uh brendan frazier, frazier?
Speaker 1:frazier, how do I say his?
Speaker 2:name frazier frazier. Sure, yeah, no, we definitely did. It felt like monkey bone, but that movie was more fun.
Speaker 1:But I mean it felt like some it felt like some it felt like someone was shooting it in 1999 for sure.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm telling you, they didn't rewrite the script at all. There's there's no doubt in my mind that this is exactly word for word what was written down in 2000, and they did not change it, you know. I did you ever watch breakfast in america? Definitely not. Oh, you should what it's?
Speaker 1:uh, what's his name? This is this crazy guy that was in I think it was in one of the last halloween movies, and he's just okay he's just totally lunatic and it's like he goes to, like he burns stuff down and he goes to breakfast and just it's all this, but it's, it's feels like it's of the moment, right.
Speaker 1:You know the way it's shot sort of sort of 70s style sort of on film and you know it feels like this is a movie being made right. This second, this movie like never felt like that at all, felt like this anomaly and not in a good way, not a standout, not a, not a superlative now we have characters having this is our first uh transition as well our smash cut transition, I feel like it is is.
Speaker 1:It. Is that how they do. Is that a thing that they still do? Smash, cut transitions or no, nobody does.
Speaker 2:Nobody does anything that this movie does anymore. Uh, or ever did. Really they use like and I'm obviously this was a stylistic choice and they thought it was funny or clever or something. I don't. I I can't understand what they were trying to do, but they do these likeMovie transitions. Oh, we're going to spin the frame, we're going to drop the frame with a sound effect, something that would be done in Dumb and Dumber 30 years ago. That made sense in a movie like that. This movie thinks that it's some sort of silly slapstick 1990s movie, and it isn't. But it's just the. The whole, every the vibe is just all wrong on this. I, I don't know, I can't even. I just get so mad when I think about it.
Speaker 1:But sorry, well, yeah, you look like you want to say something on that same thread, going back back to when Pedro gets killed, when they stab him in the neck. I think they put in weird sound effects every once in a while where it'll be like it'll be like this Looney Tunes thing yeah exactly, and it's so weird.
Speaker 2:It doesn't make any sense. One of the transitions is an anvil sound. It's like why that's not this, that's not this movie, that's not where we are. That has nothing to do with the vibe that you give off in this movie. And then you have this girl with the accent who doesn't belong in the same movie as anybody else on screen. Like if everyone was doing something ridiculous, then it makes a little more sense. But there's just some things are at a 20 and some people are realistic. If everyone was doing something ridiculous, then it makes a little more sense. But there's just some things are at a 20 and some people are realistic. I mean not very many, but there's a couple of people that are just like being humans. And then there's people there somewhere in the middle, and in the middle is where I think we should be. It's all over the board. I just I feel beaten down, I feel exhausted from watching this movie so we got jamie is having sex with I think, a woman, carla maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the.
Speaker 2:It's the lady that you're gonna see in the next scene at the bar yeah does that make sense? Yeah and then I don't know her name. I don't know anyone's names in this movie. Except for Suki.
Speaker 1:Jamie is the main character, Margaret Qualley I don't believe you that her name was Jamie?
Speaker 2:I don't think I ever heard anyone say Jamie.
Speaker 1:The other girl is Marion and she's sort of.
Speaker 2:That sounds familiar.
Speaker 1:Uptight. The name never suits her. She never seems like a marion. If I was doing this movie and you had her there, I'd be like you need to change her name to something else because she does not seem like a man go to the courthouse right now and legally change your name oh, you know what. You know why she's called marion.
Speaker 1:I know it now because in in um whatchamacallit, in uh robin hood made marion no, in the music man, marion is the the librarian, marion is the the buttoned up. Yeah, that's. That's the bit wow, listen, we're.
Speaker 2:They are so clever, these, these coens, are so clever. They have layers and layers of nods to other films that are so much better than their films, you see the.
Speaker 1:The problem with doing that is marion is no longer that. It doesn't connote you know you don't get that. You don't get that at all. If I say marion, you think made marion, that's your marion, that you, you pull out well, in my defense, that was.
Speaker 2:She was a real, real impression on my formatted years. You know what I mean what you mean robin hood, prince of thieves or something. Hell, yes, that's exactly what I mean. When she's, when he's doing the bow and she goes up, she blows in his ear very gently. My god, who, who? That is a scene. Who is the? Actress I have no idea. True story? I have no idea. I'll look it up now. I feel, now I feel guilty.
Speaker 1:Robin hood men in nope, nope, nope, not men in black so I think marion is calling her on the phone.
Speaker 2:It's obviously Mary Elizabeth oh. Antonio, yeah how did you know that name Cause?
Speaker 1:that's great An actress's name, um, so I get. So Marion, I guess, is trying to call her to do something. And then Marion's at work and there's this guy, bart, who's hitting on her and he wants to take her to a. Phish concert. He does not look like a Phish concert person. Nope, not at all, she does not seem like a Phish concert person?
Speaker 2:No, but again, it was just like who's a band in the 2000s that people might still remember today. I think that's the only way you can look at it in my mind.
Speaker 1:Well, you can make the joke. It's fish with a PH, not with an F. He says that to her, I think, and she's like I know that, yeah, and she's playing the audience where you're like yeah, that's not a joke.
Speaker 2:Right, it's not funny. No, not a joke at all.
Speaker 1:But somebody thinks it's a joke. His name is ethan cohen. He thinks it's a joke and she's like I'm sorry, I have an engagement. And then he's like he criticizes her. What do you mean? People don't say you have an engagement, like there's like some language games that they try to play yeah, hold on the part.
Speaker 2:The best part is next line. Do you remember the next line?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Because she goes. I don't tell you how to speak, do I and he?
Speaker 1:goes. Yes, you do, because you just did it. It was right before you said the last thing you just said. And that doesn't work. That's not a joke.
Speaker 1:Well, and more importantly, the thing about this movie is the relationships don't make any sense. Sure, sure. The thing you want about relationships is you want to be like oh yeah, those people are together. You know, it's like man and wife that head pecks him, like, okay, I understand that situation. I understand we can't just make up like, like this dynamic doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:He's inviting her to something he wouldn't go to, she wouldn't go to, she's refusing it, then nitpicking him, and then she's like you know why are you nitpicking me? And then he nitpicks her and then she's like why are you nitpicking me? Why would anyone do that? And you're just like I don't understand. You have no understanding of what the power dynamic is. Power dynamics are everything and everyone in this movie. Nobody has power. That's true. And it drives you crazy, because that's the thing about it is you want to see dynamics shift over time and over learning and something like that. But if everyone's just like neutrally doing stuff, like I'm just as funny as you or I can just be as comedy as you. It leaves us nothing to be invested in For sure.
Speaker 1:Because no character can ever seem to have a win, because everybody's just doing their own. If everybody's in their own universe, there's nothing happening and they are.
Speaker 2:They are indeed boom. So hold on, I'm trying to find oh, maybe I didn't write it down, so there's, there's two moments in this movie that do this exact same. Not exact same, but almost the exact same exchange, sure where she criticizes the way he speaks, then he criticizes the way she speaks, and then she says, well, I wouldn't do that to you, even though she just did it. And he goes yeah, you just did it, and that's supposed to be a joke. And then later the two um, the muscles, whatever the the two bad guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the bad guys oh they're in the car and one of them says like, oh, this is going to happen, and then the other guy goes, oh, it happened. And the guy goes what happened? That sort of exchange as if, like, he just said it, he agreed with you, and then now you're confused and like these are the types of things that drive me crazy. Like they think it's clever but it's not something that would ever happen. Like nobody, nobody, is this stupid and that's not funny, it's just, it's just off putting, it's just weird. There's no, there's no human rhythm to the dialogue you're giving me and it just drives me crazy.
Speaker 1:In Fargo you have the two characters you have.
Speaker 2:Steve.
Speaker 1:Buscemi and you have the big quiet guy, Steve Buscemi's doing Steve Buscemi in one of the greatest actors in the world and the other guy's just standing there being. You know, he's just.
Speaker 2:And you know it's which he does again in this movie, by the way, but continue.
Speaker 1:And it builds up. You know, you can see the pressure building as the pressure of the movie builds and then at a certain point it all breaks because Steve Buscemi gets his hand messed up or his face messed up and he's all like bleeding, and he's just like you fucking idiot.
Speaker 1:Blah, blah, blah, blah blah because he's gotten away with it the whole movie. And then I think the guy just shoots him or kills him. He reaches his point and we understand that. We understand the one person sitting here taking it from the other person, and then you get to the breaking point. It breaks boom. They do the exact same thing in this movie and it never works.
Speaker 2:Because they don't do the build. They kind of gently do it a little bit, and then we just skip a bunch of scenes, I think somewhere. And then we get to the point where they're yelling at each other and we're like, why, why, I think somewhere. And then we get to the point where they're yelling at each other and we're like, why, why, why are they even yelling at each other? They've they barely fought this entire movie.
Speaker 2:I found it, I did write it down. The one, the the bald one, says well, that won't come off with soap and water. And then the other guy goes it won't. And the bald guy goes it won't what? That's the exact dialogue. It won't come off with soap. Goes it won't what? That's the exact dialogue. It won't come off with soap and water. It won't what won't? That doesn't make any sense. Doesn't make any sense. He's literally responding to your words. You can't then just be like wait, what do you mean? Ha ha, what do you mean? Isn't that funny that I don't know what you mean? So dumb, so terrible. I hate this movie and that's.
Speaker 1:And the other thing is right. You have relationships that are building right. They're building to a point of climax and then, once we hit the climax, then we figure out what our new dynamic is. It might be one of the people is dead. It might be we split up and then we realize we really do need to be together and we're willing to go that split up and then we realize we really do need to be together and we're we're willing to go that. Or you can have the things where this is just, it's just, this is, this is their relationship right, and you need a mix of both of those things. You can't have everybody building until something happens. You need to have have a thing where this is, this is a stable, where this is a stable thing, this is an unstable thing, and those things are going to weave together. This one, oh bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's all bad.
Speaker 1:Okay, someone else is having sex and there's another call. I think it might have been a man and a woman, I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, isn't it. Who are they calling right now? Is this when they call Beanie? Maybe, because I don't know, I got. I got a little confused with all the sex at the beginning, to be honest with you.
Speaker 1:But because I couldn't tell who was having sex. Yeah you gotta set up who's having sex if you're gonna have people I don't know. I think we know later on we're like oh, I see that she was cheating on her well, did you think at first that the two leads were together?
Speaker 2:Because in that phone conversation while she's having sex she like lies about having sex to.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Because she's on the phone, yeah, and the woman's still making sex noise in the background and you're like which maybe I'm not good at sex, but that seemed a little weird to me.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I don't. She's not. She's no longer even near in the vicinity of this other woman, I don't know. Uh, maybe she's pleasuring herself, I don't know. It was really weird. But then she's like I'm not having, there's no sexy, I'm not having sex. I was watching porn. Why is she lying to marion if that's not her girlfriend? I thought for sure they were together and she's cheating on her. But it turns out that she's cheating on someone entirely different and Marion really wouldn't care at all.
Speaker 2:So I was immediately confused on who's with who and why I don't know. I still don't know why she lied.
Speaker 1:There's more names than there are setups of who's who. So you're just like okay, we got all these names and a bunch of naked butts. We don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Other than you know, naked butts.
Speaker 1:I don't know if there were naked butts. I don't think.
Speaker 2:I saw any butts.
Speaker 1:if I'm being completely honest, Now we're at the lesbian bar and they're talking about YTK Jamie's on stage, and then she talks about something called a body shot competition.
Speaker 2:You've never done a body shot. Competition, dan, come on. No, I'm kidding, it's a very spring break thing to do.
Speaker 1:Oh, is that just taking body shots off of someone?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, and then I guess she judges on who does the best, I don't know. Well, that's exactly. I was like, yeah, I've never done it there's.
Speaker 1:You know what a body shot is, but you don't know what a body shot. Competition is sure sure we don't understand what that is man well maybe it's a thing, a certain percent, but yeah, if, if you're writing a movie from 2000 and you're talking to a bunch of kids.
Speaker 2:The 2000 was actually my. That's when I grew up. I mean I graduated 2003. I should know all of this.
Speaker 1:I know what a body shot is, but I don't know what a competition of it is. And you're a winner. What do you? I don't understand.
Speaker 2:You know, maybe just get more body shots, double damn.
Speaker 1:So Suki is there, and that's played by Beanie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's great.
Speaker 1:She is somehow Jamie's girlfriend, which doesn't make any sense because they never interact with each other in a seeming boyfriend-girlfriend.
Speaker 2:That's why I was so confused. When she shows up and she's like, oh, she's a whore. I was like, wait, who is this lady? Why is she so mad at our lead lady? I was so confused because I thought, for sure, marion was her girlfriend.
Speaker 1:And as we go along, this relationship is unbelievable Because if you were in a relationship with Jamie, you would understand Jamie, because Jamie is exactly the same way at every second Doesn't change at all, which is why the end of this movie is very confusing to me. Yes, it is. So they kind of are breaking up. And then Jamie's talking and we get to meet her for the first time and she says I've had it with love. And she's kind of doing george clooney's character from have a brother, where art thou.
Speaker 2:But it's also even more weirdly southerny and it's because it's weirder here, because there aren't other people also doing similar things. Also, where is she from? No idea, no idea. I don't know where she's from. I don't know why she's where she is now, and then they're going to Tallahassee, which is southern, but she's not from there at all. So I don't understand anything about her character, other than she doesn't come from planet Earth.
Speaker 1:No, anything about her character other than she doesn't come from planet earth. No, the starting of the start of this accent is just it's what was the other movie we watched that the person had like the terrible accent and you just wanted the director to say to them at the beginning please stop I don't remember, but here's I.
Speaker 2:I was also thinking I was like oh, we've seen a movie where this is, but here's the difference is. I think that I was like oh, we've seen a movie where this is, but here's the difference is.
Speaker 1:I think that Ethan was like yes, oh yeah, no, he was, yes, dial it up.
Speaker 2:Dial it up, baby, dial it up, come on, honey, baby, or whatever the frick she says throughout this movie. Oh God, I hate her. I hate, her and she's in the new one. I saw the trailer for the new movie that you were talking about.
Speaker 1:it's part of their trilogy honey don't, or whatever it's part of the trilogy. This is this is they're doing a trilogy this is the first part of the trilogy. That's the second part of the trilogy it's those movies. They're not the same characters no, but I believe they're sort of in the same universe, same world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's too bad and I don't want to see the next one. You're not gonna make me watch it, are you? Oh yes, of course I am son of a bitch.
Speaker 1:I'm awaiting the one week after it comes out in theaters and fails until I can. Uh, I can get you to pay for it on demand or whatever oh yeah, absolutely. Well, you're welcome that's number one on my list of things 24.99 for that piece of shit.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna come after you, Dan.
Speaker 1:Okay, she's had it with love they go to, but she wasn't in love right?
Speaker 2:No, she was never in love.
Speaker 1:So what is this?
Speaker 2:character really, really raging against here.
Speaker 1:Well, you got to remember, right, the beginning of stripes, right, what happens at the beginning of stripes.
Speaker 2:You think I remember stripes 1982. I don't know exactly when it comes up, but that was 40 years ago, Dan.
Speaker 1:It's only 40 years ago. He like loses his job, he gets broken up and then he drags his friend down there to the recruiting office. All like within the first eight minutes of the movie Sure. That's what you do you untether your characters. That's a common thing.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying structurally. I don't understand what they're doing, Dan. I'm saying the character that they're presenting wouldn't have any feelings about this whatsoever.
Speaker 1:Not at all. She doesn't care about anyone except herself.
Speaker 2:Except herself. Yes, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, very confusing.
Speaker 1:Don't we start in the middle. She's having sex with someone and she chooses to answer the phone, and it's not even an important phone call.
Speaker 2:Nope, yep, just her friend Apparently, not her girlfriend, just her friend. Just random friend that is just Not even talking about anything important, but the good news is that she's so good at it that that girl's still enjoying herself. I'm just very confused about that.
Speaker 1:Once I walk away, they still keep going for another half an hour. It's just weird. It's all weird and that's the thing about it is, if this, it's not that she's playing like a male role, but it's like it's almost like they're forcing this character to be sort of so odious in her approach to relationships. You know, you're like, I don't like. If you knew this person in real life and they were like this, you'd be like you're a terrible person A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:But here's and here's. My thing is, if we were going on a journey with this character, if she was learning from her mistakes and becoming a more full-founded partner which is clearly what they think happens just given the trajectory of where this character ends up. But I don't know how we got there. Like I feel like she learns nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Hey, let's get married. I love love. I I whiplash, complete whiplash. I have no idea how we went from there to there, but there was not an arc. If there was, at least an arc where she's like, oh, she's a terrible girlfriend, but also don't make her hate love. Then in the beginning, like, oh, I'm over love because she was never in love. Let's be very clear. She did not care about her girlfriend, but if at all. But if she was just like, hey, I'm a player, I'm going to cheat on you, I don't really care. But then she learns to love because her best friend teaches her. That's a fine storyline. But that's not what we do.
Speaker 1:Do we ever say that Marriott's her best? They don't even seem like friends.
Speaker 2:No, no, I'm not even sure that these two characters can exist in the same space-time continuum. They're so different just in their level of humanity. That's the word. It's so weird.
Speaker 1:There's a point at which they're driving in the car and they're kind of going back and forth and I'm just like these characters shouldn't know each other.
Speaker 2:They shouldn't be in a car together.
Speaker 1:They're in different, you know different. They're in different movies.
Speaker 2:Different movies, different universes, different timelines. One's in the bad timeline, the thing about, like, if you think back to Raising Arizona, which is the only Coen Brothers movie I truly remember, you think back to that and what's? What's the holly hunter? Is that? Yeah?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's how you had to play holly and nick are in the same movie, so they are like they are. They are 100 in the same movie. You see them. They're like they're a terrible couple. But I get it. I, I totally understand, and that's the difference. Right like this is, this odd couple is just it could not exist in a world, any world. I don't care if you built the world from scratch. You built it in a way that they can't coexist in in racing arizona.
Speaker 2:He is so in love with her so deeply madly in love with her for no fucking reason but it's so good, she's a police officer.
Speaker 1:We see the moment that he falls in love, with her Getting his mug shot.
Speaker 2:just like the love strides.
Speaker 1:And we believe it. We believe that that guy would do anything for her, except things that are constraining him, like he goes and steals a baby for her. I need to have the baby. I need that.
Speaker 2:He goes and steals a baby for her. It's great Listen. A lot of people don't like that movie, right? Which is fine because it's a little zany. It's a little over the top.
Speaker 2:It's very over the top, but it makes sense in its own world, like the world is cohesive. This is the opposite of that. This is completely untethered. Nothing makes sense. And they is the opposite of that. This is completely untethered, nothing makes sense. And they're like it's the same kind of vibe, don't you think? And I don't? I really don't think it is not even for a second.
Speaker 1:Okay, we, we uh, boom, boom, boom, oh god. So she's okay, wait, wait. Okay, we're, I've had it with love. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. She goes there. Oh, they're at Marion's apartment talking about it and Marion is going to Tallahassee, florida for unknowable reasons, just to leave town or something. For birding To see your family.
Speaker 2:No for birding For birding, that's right yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:How much birding did they do during the movie. Negative they do the opposite of birding, so much that it's a negative birding. You cannot set up a character that says they're going somewhere for a specific thing and then they never do the thing, never mentioned the thing at all.
Speaker 2:She doesn't even name a bird in the movie. There should be a point at least where she names a bird.
Speaker 1:You've said see, this is like improv comedy teaches us You've given yourself a gift. That's what this movie is not about. But whenever you're in a lull or you need something to do, birding occurs. Yep, so they're going to get a drive away, which is a thing that they used to have, where you get a car and it goes from one point to another point.
Speaker 2:I wish I knew that that was a thing, because that's actually awesome and I totally would have done that. Yeah, oh yeah, I'm bummed that I missed out.
Speaker 1:I remember it. It was a thing and I remember talking with people about it that had done it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, jealous.
Speaker 1:So they go, man, I wrote so little about this scene. They go to Suki's apartment, oh, and immediately we have a dildo on a plaque sticking out of the wall and then, we do this whole bit with unscrewing it and that was a gift, and this, that and the other thing, and it's just weird. And then there's a dog who's like an evil dog that they all don't understand this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the dog was a gift to sookie, but sookie doesn't like the dog, which, by the way, makes her immediately unlikable to me. I'm just like all right, well, I don't care about you, you don't love this little dog. He's hilarious. She, she, he, she, they, I don't know Dog's hilarious, it's just so weird. And the whole movie is her trying to give the dog back to-.
Speaker 1:But it's also not all about that Sure, sure, sure. If that's what it was about, if that was like this dog is a terror.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah and she is following them.
Speaker 1:You know. Think about that through life. That's a freaking. She's kicking this dog.
Speaker 2:That makes more sense than what happens.
Speaker 1:She goes in, she stays in a hotel room. The dog eats the entire hotel room. You could have done so many bits with this. The dog from hell, it's just the dog from hell, great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do that. That's a great B story, right, like your B storyline is the ex-girlfriend trying to give back the terrible dog and then just happens to save the day because she's there and is a cop. But instead what kind of happens is that she decides to follow them after they call her and are like, hey, we have a case, and then she's like I guess I'll just bring the dog to you, which is like a weird. It doesn't really make sense. I don't know, man, I don't know this movie is bad, I don't know. But let's so back to this scene, though. Again, here's my biggest problem. Like it's this scene.
Speaker 2:If you want to know my biggest problem with this movie, you watch this scene right, cause you've got Beanie doing over the top crying about the dildo on the wall and she's trying to unscrew it and give it back. That's a funny concept to me, yeah, and she's doing it Great. Then you cut away to the other two ladies and you have one that shows no emotion whatsoever and then the other one is doing her stupid acts. It's like it was a gift. It was a gift Like that's, who cares if it was a gift? Like, make it mean something to somebody.
Speaker 2:Right now the entire focus of this scene is a dildo on the wall. That means nothing to anybody. Nobody has an emotional connection to the thing that you're making the scene about, and that's ridiculous. That is so stupid. If you make the scene about it, someone has to give a shit about it. That doesn't make any sense. Why does nobody care? Why am I watching it? I just I was losing my mind because you have a very funny concept, which is this hilarious phallus on the wall that she can't screw off, but she loves it. But she's giving it back, or she loves that it was inside her, I don't know what it is, but someone has to care If nobody cares.
Speaker 2:I don't care, and I'm just watching this weird scene between three people that don't care about anything that's happening in their lives.
Speaker 1:I mean for that whole scene. I literally wrote one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I wrote nine words because it's just like. What am I supposed to write? It's just it's, it's. There's a dog and I don't know. I don't know what anything means to anybody who cares.
Speaker 2:Because nothing means any anything to anybody, even the dog. Nobody likes the dog, Nobody likes the dog. Nobody likes the dog. Nobody likes the dildo. Why is she crying? Why are these people here? Nothing makes any sense.
Speaker 1:Were they there even picking anything up? Did they eat something important? She?
Speaker 2:came to get her things, because one of her lines is I came to get my stuff, but that was a gift, you can keep it. What stuff did she get? Did she get anything? I think she had like a little thing under her arm, like a little bag or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Maybe clothes, but it doesn't mean anything. It's not something that's needed in the movie, nothing means anything in this scene?
Speaker 2:Nothing, nothing means anything. It's ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Okay, then we meet Curly. Curly runs the driveway place.
Speaker 2:My second favorite character this whole movie place. My second favorite character this whole movie.
Speaker 1:Yes, they show up and he's a great actor, very funny. I don't know what his name is, I've seen him in stuff before he's wonderful, and then he's all like they're trying to rent the car and then I guess the bad guys are going to be dropping off the car that needs to go there. And then he or have dropped it off, yeah he has the car. He has the car.
Speaker 2:The bad guy calls and is like I'm sending two drivers to take the car. And then the ladies show up and say they're going to Tallahassee and he's like, oh, you must be the drivers.
Speaker 1:So basically, they're getting the car that has the has the briefcase in the trunk. Great, uh, what's her name is mapping out their trip and wait wait, wait.
Speaker 2:Are we already done with curly? Sure? I just want to shout out curly's joke, because this is the one, one of the what three laughs I had in the whole movie. She calls him Curly because it's written on his uniform and he's like don't call me Curly, isn't that your name? My name's Curly, but it's too formal. We just met. He delivers it so perfectly, it's so flat, it's so like I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm just like we don't know each other. Don't call me Curly. He like I, I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm just like we don't know each other. Don't call me curly. He just delivers it so well.
Speaker 1:And if everybody in this movie delivered lines as perfectly as he did, I almost would have watched the whole thing. I'm gonna say so. Wouldn't have. Yeah what? Imagine you're an actor.
Speaker 2:It's gonna be hard, it's hard for me to imagine that because of all the rejection in my life. But yeah, continue.
Speaker 1:You get a Coen Brothers script in the mail. You read through it and it's this script and you're like. You have to do it, though, even if you're Matt Damon.
Speaker 2:And that's the thing, right, because there's a couple of nice cameos in this, you know, pedro, matt Miley, and yeah I, I mean it's a cohen. It's a cohen you can't not.
Speaker 1:You can't say no. You have faith in the process a hundred percent.
Speaker 2:They win awards. People seem to enjoy that. I don't know why either of those things happen personally, uh, but they happen and so you have to jump on the ride, even if you, you would be able to deliver that joke. So you know why it would happen, right, You're like well, I can deliver this joke.
Speaker 2:Sure, no, I meant if I read. But you know there's a chance that Curly didn't get the whole script. Let's be honest, curly could have just gotten his scenes and he was like what the hell's happening? Where's this movie? This is not the movie I was in.
Speaker 1:But you think Matt Damon only got his part of the script. No, Matt Damon knew Matt.
Speaker 2:Damon probably owes them something from some other time.
Speaker 1:He's indebted to the Coens. They have some dirt on him.
Speaker 2:That must be deep deep dirt Because his part sucks, his part's terrible, he doesn't do anything interesting so they're mapping out the the trip, or she's mapping out the trip and wants to go see like the world's largest dixie cup.
Speaker 1:That is not who she is. She is not. I would need to go see the world's largest dixie cup nope, sure isn't.
Speaker 2:This scene doesn't make any sense, although she does have one good line. I didn't write it down because it's not funny, but it's just like a, you know, an interesting line to live by. The marion said something to the fact of like we don't. It's a straight line from here to here. We don't need to go to this place and she says we don't need to enjoy our lives, but we're here, so we might as well. And I was like that's a, that's a fun motto for a character to live by. I don't feel like that has anything to do with the rest of the movie, but if you take that one line as your character, that could be an interesting character to make. That is a great character.
Speaker 1:That is a character that could be really interesting to interact with.
Speaker 2:Marion, who doesn't live her life that way, to interact with Marion, who doesn't live her life that way and she could learn.
Speaker 1:The movie could be about her learning to actually go a different path and not go just from A to B. Yeah, you know, yeah, what an interesting concept. Yeah, you know. Third breakfast they've eaten together. She's eating the exact same breakfast.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And Jamie's like what the hell are you doing?
Speaker 2:You got to get something different. Give me some grits.
Speaker 1:Grits right now and I need brown sugar. You know not that I would eat grits, but make these characters.
Speaker 2:I don't mind grits. I think grits are fine. I've never had them.
Speaker 1:So I don't know.
Speaker 2:But you know, it's a weird texture. I think that's where everyone gets hung up.
Speaker 1:You put brown sugar on it, right, I assume?
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, sure, yeah.
Speaker 1:This is a scene where she's like showing who she is and we're seeing who.
Speaker 1:Marion is and Marion's like oh, oh, oh, whatever, yeah, yeah, whatever it is, you got to find that log line for your character and you've got to beat that, because that's what the audience wants to see. We want to understand who she is and then we want to see her do the things that she is, and then we want to see her struggle to overcome some stuff or to figure out how to integrate that stuff better into her life so she's happier whatever, and then they can fall in love and get married.
Speaker 1:Back at Curly's the bad guys show up and they beat him up and they realize that they've lost the car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's this. I'm just going to keep shouting out lines that I just despise. There is a line he says you wouldn't know wet cement if it bit you in the ass. That's what qualifies as a joke in this movie, dan. I don't think it made me laugh.
Speaker 2:Of course it didn't make you laugh. That wouldn't have made you laugh 30 years ago when it was written, because that is something that a dad says every single day of their lives. You know what I mean. Like, oh, you're looking for the tv remote. Oh, it's gonna bite you in the ass. It's so close. Oh, you wouldn't know this if it punched you like that. That's not a new joke, it's not an interesting joke. You don't put a spin on it, you're just regurgitating something everyone has heard eight million times in their lives and you're like this is this is gonna be a good joke, this is gonna be good, awful, awful writing they're driving and jamie talks about my project and then she's like what's your project to get you laid?
Speaker 1:and we're like this, is that's what this is about now.
Speaker 2:Now, this is like a teen sex comedy all of a sudden. I don don't understand. This is American Pie. What's going on here?
Speaker 1:We needed to set that up. Minute one, you know she I mean because we talk about how I think we also do how long it's been since she had sex at this point and it's since she had her last girlfriend Like whatever and you're like well, this should have. This is act one. I mean this should be in act one. It should not be in the middle of the beginning of act, where we're cruising into act two. Fast and Furious. What did they write?
Speaker 2:Jamie painted something on the back of the car. Oh, I should have written it down. It's something like love is hell or something. Those are four of the words Love is. I'm missing somewhere.
Speaker 1:Those are four of the words, love is a-. Okay, I'm missing some words. You're missing the middle. Love is a sleigh ride to hell.
Speaker 2:Oh, there you go, yeah, yeah, because then at the end they do something different and it's supposed to be cute or something, and I meant to write it down. It's just something like-.
Speaker 1:Love is a sleigh ride. Here goes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like what? Okay, is that the? Is that the capstones of this movie? Is that what this movie is about?
Speaker 1:because I don't think it is love is a sleigh ride to hell. What I don't know. What is that? A sleigh ride is christmas yeah, it's going to christmas.
Speaker 2:A sleigh ride would be Christmas yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't understand this. It doesn't mean any. I mean, I do not think that that is something that's a lesbian community thing. Maybe it is Sleigh rides.
Speaker 2:I don't think so. I don't believe that that is.
Speaker 1:But it's also not because it's not A human thing. Yeah, it's not a cultural thing that anyone has ever heard of, you know. Nor does it have anything to do with this movie. Life is a bitch and then you die, right Sure. That is something people say. This is not something anyone has ever said or will ever say.
Speaker 2:No, you have to put it in their heads. Does it make any sense?
Speaker 1:And they also seem to think that this could get them into trouble going into the South.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, I don't, I don't. Yeah, I have no idea there was one.
Speaker 1:Oh, what was it? I think there was a Top Gear. Was it a Top Gear episode? It was. Maybe it was a jackass episode. It was some episode where those are two very different shows, different things. But they came over to, they came to the south and they painted something on the side of the car that enraged people. Yeah, and there are things you can paint on the side of way more jackass, I think it was top gear. What? Was it, it was probably something different, probably something right in between those two things. Sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Point being if you paint something outrageous on your car, you can't say we might get in trouble for this. And then you read it and you're like why?
Speaker 2:Why? Who cares? Well, maybe because they don't get snow in the South, so there's no sleigh rides, rides and people are upset about it.
Speaker 1:Okay, we get to the motel, there's an old guy and then she just does a whole thing about where's the lesbian action and you're like but you're, it's weird, you wouldn't do that, not to that guy who, as far as I can tell, can't talk, like he doesn't say a single word.
Speaker 2:Right did they? They had to have checked in with him at the motel, so they would know already that he didn't talk the whole time. He may not have moved. I he's, he's dead, this guy. I don't know what's going on, but he's just sitting in a chair with his breathing tubes, doesn't say a word, doesn't move a muscle, it's it.
Speaker 1:This scene is so weird because I don't know we're setting up a thing, is she? She's not afraid to just do the thing anywhere to anyone? Well, yeah then you have to show her doing that already right.
Speaker 2:And here's the problem is they do that later at the next hotel. She's like hey, here I'm gonna pay with my rainbow card, hey, we're lesbians, and there's, it's an almost good scene the next one which is where marion is asking normal hotel questions and then she's asking if they're, if they're okay with them being gay, like that's a. That's a really interesting dichotomy while this poor, this poor guy is like of course, of course we do, of course, like it's a that's a nice scene.
Speaker 1:That's a scene, but this scene doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:No, she wouldn't be. I don't know. I don't know. He doesn't. That guy doesn't exist in the world. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, she doesn't even notice, that's the other thing is she doesn't even notice that he doesn't exist, right.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, she does a hello. At the end of her little diatribe she's like hello, hello. And again, they had to have checked in with this guy, so I feel like she's already communicated with him. It's all weird. It just doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:You know, and if he can't even communicate, then she's got to be hello, she's got to wave the hands in front of his face. She's got to reach there, steal a pack of gum. You got to do something. Yeah, we're getting through this movie.
Speaker 2:Are we? I feel like we've only done 10 minutes of this movie.
Speaker 1:They talk about. They find out that there's a place called the Butter Churn, and then Jamie starts to teach Marion how to pick up girls. And then Marion's like I want a relationship with authenticity, okay, whatever, okay, whatever, marion. Jamie's at the room reading Henry James. Oh, wait, oh, so they go to the bar, yeah, and this sort of entails. And so they're at this bar. The bar's like whatever. And then Jamie goes back to the room. Is it in reading? No, marion, you wrote down the room.
Speaker 2:Marion Bales goes back and reads a book, and then Jamie comes back with a girl.
Speaker 1:Yes, returns with Amber, and then Jamie goes to the lobby to read her book. Once again, jamie is the most insensitive piece of shit in the world. Yeah terrible.
Speaker 2:Wow, just awful. Terrible friend, just real bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is your best friend. And here we go. This is when I you know, I knew this was a bad movie.
Speaker 2:And then I was like but is it a bad?
Speaker 1:movie that's going to truly anger Tony from the tip of his nose right down to his toes. This is when we have the psychedelic interludes.
Speaker 2:We go into this 70s nonsense dream type sequence where it is doesn't make any sense and even when they, like I was. So I was reading on, I was going down some reddit rabbit holes on this movie because there are people that like this movie and really, that's fine. Okay, there are people that like it.
Speaker 2:I will never understand it, but I'm not gonna yell at you but they everyone was like it doesn't make sense at first, but then when they pull it all together at the end, no, no, they did not pull it all together at the end because all it is is a flashback to them making a penis.
Speaker 2:It has nothing like. It doesn't have to be. This psychedelic nonsense doesn't make any sense. There's that vibe of the movie doesn't give me like 70s, like everyone's like, oh, they're doing sexploitation, it's like I don't care. This movie doesn't give me like 70s. Everyone's like, oh, they're doing sexploitation, it's like I don't care. This movie doesn't make a point about that. If this movie was like a parody or like making a point about how I don't know, but it doesn't make any sense in this movie. But it's so Coen Brothers to put in some sort of quote, dream sequence type of thing. And I was just like, yeah, exactly, this is what they do. And there's and this guy's bad at it, he's bad at it alone. He doesn't know how to do it alone. He needs a friend. He's a friend.
Speaker 1:They're back joel, come home, come home joel. They're back on the road. They're talking about cunnilingus. Then the marion says you shouldn't have brought someone back. And I wrote why is this movie happening?
Speaker 2:Here's and listen. I said I wasn't going to talk about their lesbian thing, but there's this cunnilingus conversation. It's very confusing to me because she's like someone's going to put their tongue in me and it's going to wiggle out my asshole and then she's like some people can cunnilingus themselves, some yogis. I was like what are we talking about right now? I'm so confused. I don't think that this is a conversation anyone should ever have with a Marion type character, like the way that we've built Marion. She would be so uncomfortable with this conversation but there's your question.
Speaker 1:Was she uncomfortable?
Speaker 2:No, she didn't seem that uncomfortable to me.
Speaker 1:She just sat there, whatever, right.
Speaker 2:And that makes me uncomfortable, because the way that they built her not that like prude is the right word, but she's conservative, right, yeah, she's at least conservative, we can say that. And if I was in that car with someone who was saying things like this to someone who was more reserved, I would be so uncomfortable for them, whether or not they say anything, I would be like whoa, shut the hell up. This is not an OK conversation to have with this person, this type of person who does not enjoy what you and I might enjoy.
Speaker 1:But this movie doesn't even do that.
Speaker 2:It doesn't even make you uncomfortable. No, no for sure. I just think that that conversation doesn't make sense in the world that they've built. That's all.
Speaker 1:They pull off the freeway. They go to Gino's to get pizza. Pull off the freeway they go to gino's to get pizza.
Speaker 2:And then there's this soccer team that's all lesbians. I have, I what? How old is this soccer team, dan?
Speaker 1:all in their 20s and 30s okay you think so?
Speaker 2:okay, I was just like is this? Supposed to be like a high school team. I was really confused on the age and then it seems like one of them might have been the coach, but maybe I'm reading into it too much.
Speaker 1:One of them was the coach, but they made it seem like this is like yeah, everybody knows about this one soccer team that's all lesbians.
Speaker 2:That sure, and you know I get that. Maybe maybe that makes sense. I have no idea. It was weird. My thing was I was just like the whole time I was concerned about the age of everybody involved.
Speaker 1:Because it's weird, when you say soccer team, you think that they are a high school soccer team.
Speaker 2:Sure, because. Is this just like a pickup? It's not like a pickup game. Is it like an adult league? Is that a thing we have no idea? I know, I know, but like, maybe it's like. Maybe that, like people do softball teams at work, maybe they do soccer teams. I've never heard of that, but that doesn't mean it can't exist and that's why you brought a line in there, because that one line sure cleans it all up so that we're not all sitting there going like are these 17?
Speaker 2:year olds. Let me know that they're of age and so I don't feel skeezy.
Speaker 1:That would be great then they end up back in this basement and then everyone's making out and then the coach blows a whistle and then yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:What Sure. My problem is that that's the game we're playing, right, everyone's on board with it. In this room, everyone seems to be playing just fine. They blow the whistle. Marion is suddenly surprised that the next person in line is her friend, jamie.
Speaker 2:Why would she be surprised? She would know she would be. If this character is really worried about having to make out with Jamie, she'd be watching her at every turn and being like, okay, three people away, two people away. I got to get out of this game. But instead the whistle blows, she walks over. She's like, oh my God, Jamie, what are you doing here? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:it's, she can't be surprised by this. It's almost like there's a scene that you could have written that makes some sense, or you could write this scene that doesn't make any sense well, again they went option b, good for them, good for them.
Speaker 1:Uh, it gets awkward. Uh, the bad. Okay, this is. This is the one scene you probably like, because parts of it are good. So it gets awkward and I think they leave or something I don't even remember. The bad guys have tracked down the driveaway car to Suki's apartment. They go to Suki's apartment and what happens? Tony.
Speaker 2:She just starts beating the shit out of one of them and it is delightful, there's hardly any conversation, and then one of the bad guys is like having a conversation with her while she's beating the shit out of the other guy. It's really it's. It's a nice scene. I just the movie should be about her. I don't care about the other two people in this movie at all. Um, so she great she's very funny.
Speaker 1:We set up with the two bad guys the dynamic that the one bad guy thinks he can beat the information out of anyone and use force to get it. The other guy's like we can always talk about things and so he tries to beat her up. She just beats the shit out of him. And then the other guy's like we're looking for your friend and she's like she's not my friend. I will give you all the information to find her there is one huge problem I have with this scene.
Speaker 2:I do like the scene in general, but there is one line that really bothers me and it's the ball, the ball. While the guy's getting the crap kicked out of him by beanie, he's like well, you know he can't hit back. You're a girl. I don't like that line. I think you need to remove that line from the movie. It makes no sense. She's beating the shit out of him. It has nothing to do with him not being willing to hit her.
Speaker 2:She's better fighters yeah that's, that has to be what's happening. Don't, don't give some weird excuse. Oh well, he's a guy, he can't hit a girl. No, no, no, she's beating the shit out of him. That's funnier either way she's just beating and having a conversation with the other guy while she beats the shit out of this guy. That's a 10 out of 10 scene.
Speaker 1:And then you throw a line in there where she says to him am I going to have to beat the shit out of you? You know like. Great yeah, exactly she needs to, and that's, once again, power structures the power.
Speaker 2:If she establishes her dominance over these two guys, it's like, well, my dominance is, I can talk to you and interact, you know whatever, and she does it because it's so like he walks in and she, just like gut, checks him and he's on the ground and she's beaten. It's, it's almost, it's almost a good scene and a terrible, terrible film.
Speaker 1:Oh, she pepper sprays him, and then the little dog comes out and humps the guy.
Speaker 2:You're like oh, that's right, that's. The other thing I didn't like is the end of the scene. That's right. He's laying on the ground and the dog comes out and humps and it's like, but why, yeah, I don't know, just to humiliate this guy, because later you need him to kill the other guy. But the other, the bald guy, needs to then comment on it or something, or like make him feel less than because he's being humped by a tiny little dog.
Speaker 1:Weird, oh, marion has little dog. Weird, uh, oh, marion has fleed the makeout party and she gets stopped by the police.
Speaker 2:Okay, fine, um, jamie's making out which is a scene that should have been funny and wasn't. And I'm I just I don't know why, I don't know if I'm just mad at this movie or not but a scene where the cop is like where are you coming from? And she's like I don't know a house, where are you going from? And she's like I don't know A house, when are you going? I don't know A motel, somewhere I don't know. Like that should be funny. She has no idea where she's going or come from. Like I don't know it should be funny.
Speaker 1:It's not Well more importantly, why did they arrest her?
Speaker 2:Why did they arrest her? Well, that's just walking around.
Speaker 1:Jamie's making out in the car, and then she feels guilty. She goes to the motel. Nobody's there. Then, while Marion is in the hotel, she has this flashback of being a child on a trampoline. On a trampoline On a trampoline jumping up and down, and there's a topless lady in a pool next door.
Speaker 2:I did laugh at this. Yeah, up and down, and there's like a topless lady in a pool next door. I did laugh at this. Yeah, because they do. They do a nice build of the young version jumping, jumping, trying to jump as high as she can. She's jumping, she's trying so hard, trying so hard, and then they cut to what she's jumping to and it's spying on her neighbor and I was like that's funny and relatable, like that's a relatable joke in a movie that has zero relatability on most of these characters. There's a wonderful, like actual, real moment of a child discovering their sexuality by jumping, as I was, a cano trampoline. Great, it's almost a human joke. I love it. Tony likes the movie got it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I like a scene we cut back. It's not even a scene, it's a tiny flashback which goes on too long.
Speaker 1:Well, sure, sure.
Speaker 2:In a movie that's 80 minutes, a lot of things go on too long, and that's pretty surprising.
Speaker 1:We start doing the psychedelic stuff again and we're like wait a second. That's Miley Cyrus.
Speaker 2:Which is very distracting, by the way, and I'm sure that it's, you know it's fun, but she's to this point. She's the second big name we've seen. Yeah, right, like big star. We saw Pedro at the beginning, who dies immediately, and then, randomly, you see Miley in the middle and you're like, wow, what's going on? Like, what is she doing? I don't know. The two bad guys are driving around and we've realized. We learned that the one guy can't relate.
Speaker 1:The two bad guys are driving around and we've realized, we learned that the one guy can't relate to the public and just fights with his fists, and the other guy can. That's funny.
Speaker 2:Which is kind of what happens, but it's kind of not as well, in my opinion.
Speaker 1:I mean they've set up the situation that we're going to push forward with. Yeah, for sure, jamie bails Marion oution out. Don't know if you can bail people out with a credit card, but maybe that's a good buy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've never had to do it.
Speaker 1:I don't know, usually at tow yards and places like that, you have to pay cash that's well, that's I.
Speaker 2:I had to get my car. Did I tell you that my car got towed for you? It's like two months ago and and I didn't tell you this I shouldn't be admitting this on the internet, but I hadn't paid my Tabs in three years, apparently. I don't know how this happened. Time is a weird. Time is a weird fluid Thing where I don't understand how long. It's been, but I guess I would just Were they mailing it to the wrong place or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were mailing them to our old address and it just never crossed my mind that I hadn't been paying these things and we've had to park on the street because someone parked in our spot in our garage and it got towed and we're like, oh my god, our car is stolen. But anyhow, long story short, I found the car eventually. I called the police to report it stolen. They were like, hey, it's not stolen, moron, it's in the impound lot because you're not paying.
Speaker 2:So I went and got it and I had to go get cash that day, so you're right, that was a long way of saying Dan Goodsell, you're right, those kind of things demand cash because they don't want to deal with bullshit.
Speaker 1:Credit cards 100% when the repercussions are very, very you know. It's like I'm giving you a multi-thousand dollar card or letting you out of prison where you're a criminal. Yeah, I don't know whatever but I don't know either. This is not a movie that would have spent the time to google whether or not you could pay with a credit card, because I certainly would if I was writing this movie right, and then I would have said something's like who would have thought you could bail people out with a credit card?
Speaker 2:that seems seems crazy. If you wrote this movie, our friendship would be over.
Speaker 1:I would write it good, I'd write it real good, then we'd do the thing. You know, I was not in prison, I was in jail. You're like ugh. It's like a thing where you're sitting there and she says prison. I'm like well, what I would say was no, I was in jail, not prison. What I would say was no, I was in jail, not prison. But you're like also, that's just me being an asshole.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is. It's not a joke, but if that's your character, then we like it Exactly.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean and that is my character.
Speaker 2:It is your character, dan, that's true.
Speaker 1:Oh, cops of attitude. Then we do a whole cops of attitude. I don't have an attitude. Some attitude, I don't have an attitude. Marion doesn't know, she has an attitude. I know that I play an asshole on TV.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, and I can ramp it up. Yeah, you're just on TV everybody.
Speaker 2:It's a facade.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm a super nice guy in real life. No, I'm the king gaslighter, just as Shannon. You need to understand people. That's what Shannon needsannon. Um, um, you need to understand people. Let's uh, that's what shannon needs to do. Is janet needs? To explain people to her and she's like, no, they shouldn't be that way. I'm like, well, no well, she is right you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:She's right, but also wrong. You know what I mean, because they shouldn't be that way. The problem. Problem is they are Okay.
Speaker 1:They're going, they see this billboard of Matt Damon, who's like a religious guy who's running for senator or is senator, and they're like yeah, yeah, nice right wing.
Speaker 1:Don't pull off there. But then they get a flat tire and they scream and they almost crash. And now we finally open the trunk and there's a briefcase. The briefcase is in there. And then they pick up the briefcase and look under it for the tire and there's another case under there that is smoking. And then she says don't open it. And then we have to make a reference to the movie Repo man, because Repo man did the exact same thing, Emilio.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen that movie in a long, long time, but I was just putting it together.
Speaker 1:There's the briefcase in the trunk that's not theirs, and when you open it you get vaporized because it's nuclear material or whatever it is.
Speaker 2:Oh jeez, she makes it or something.
Speaker 1:It literally kills a couple people. It's bad, it's bad and so they have to make like a, and if you have to make a reference in your movie to another movie to try to show that you're not copying that movie and that movie came out 40 years ago. Yep, that's a problem. That's a problem.
Speaker 2:Even when you wrote it and it came out 20 years ago. That's still a stretch. Just throwing that out there. Heath Alright.
Speaker 1:Don't open it, she opens it. Oh, she opens the the bowling ball case and inside there is what's his name's head? It's a yeah, it's a head, tony. Is there any reason why they saved his head?
Speaker 2:not that I'm aware of there it is. I don't think we talk about it, but they do ask for it. So clearly somebody wants it somebody wants the head.
Speaker 1:We have no explanation as to why they would want this head.
Speaker 2:It certainly implicates a bunch of crimes and at the end it implicates crimes, and so the only reason that head is in there is to implicate someone in crimes that they wouldn't have been far enough yeah, he was far enough removed that if he hadn't been caught with the head and also trying to shoot them, he would not have been in trouble probably so all it does is make the ending happen.
Speaker 1:But there's no reason. Yeah, and this is. This is exactly. This is ac syndrome. Right, you want to have a thing in a and you want to have a thing happen at c. You've got to fill in that B. So then we're like oh, that's what's happening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, stupid.
Speaker 1:The two bad guys go to visit the soccer team. The soccer team sends them on a wild goose chase. Yeah, at the diner, jamie doesn't want to open the case. They go to the other, the El Canquistador, which is a nicer hotel, where there's this sort of big guy there and this is when she does the whole lesbian friendly thing. Is this place lesbian friendly?
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, which is a funny thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the bad guys go to Farm Road 80 and they go to the Juke Joint Slappies and then you can't understand what he says and it doesn't make any sense and we don't know why we're there.
Speaker 2:And it's not funny.
Speaker 1:We just have some weird people and we don't get the shit beat out of them. Nothing happens to them.
Speaker 2:Nothing at all happens. There's no new information. There's literally no reason for this scene to exist in this film. And again, I'm going to remind you this is an 88 minute film, something like that. You shouldn't have a scene that doesn't need to exist in an 88 minute film. You should be able to fill out an 88 minute film with real stuff.
Speaker 1:They call Suki and say we're going to help you with a murder case and they tell her to go to Curly's because they'll find people blah, blah, blah. They go to dinner. No, I think they go to the dinner place at the hotel. And then we learn that. So I think at this point they decide that Jamie's like okay, you haven't had sex and we haven't really tried to get you to have sex Really we took it to the one place, and then the soccer team kind of like well, I guess I'm going to have sex with you, yeah, uh, they start making out in the room, they start having sex.
Speaker 1:Then we have this there's like they have champagne or something and there's a glass of champagne and the bubbles are coming up and it's this beautiful shot. Sure, this just gorgeous shot. And then you're like well, sure, we had that, I guess we had.
Speaker 2:we had some art. Look at that, look at us.
Speaker 1:And then somebody falls asleep and then they snuggle after sex.
Speaker 2:I mean it's almost funny. She, they're both. She Jamie pleasures Marion.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, and.
Speaker 2:Marion falls asleep instantly after she's completed, which is like a funny, that's funny. You know, she's so tightly wound that she just needed that. Uh, relax, and then. And then they cuddle sleep, which is which is weird, but then weirder in the morning okay funny.
Speaker 1:It's actually almost funny the two bad guys are getting tired and they talk about having sex. It was weird.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's not really what they do, that's not their thing, it's weird.
Speaker 1:You got to set up their bit, you have to follow through with their bit and then you have to get to the completion of their bit. That's how bit works. That's how comedy works.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is how bit works.
Speaker 1:Marion has another memory of drilling a hole in the fence to peep on the woman, and the woman has a drunk husband and then she puts on cowboy boots.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm so confused Did I miss something here? Because he comes out and he's like hey, when are we going to have dinner? Like woman, make me dinner. And then the first thing she puts on are cowboy boots.
Speaker 1:The only thing she puts on.
Speaker 2:I think If she's going to put on pants. That makes it really hard. Would you put on?
Speaker 1:cowboy boots right after you got out of the pool and your feet were wet.
Speaker 2:No, it's going to be all sticky because they're like leather and stuff no one would ever do that with cowboy boots. I just didn't understand this.
Speaker 1:I didn't understand it. I don't know. You don't put on your normal shoes with wet feet. No one does that. It's insane, it's just it's disgusting. First, it doesn't make any sense okay, you want to talk about what happens when uh, when uh when they wake up?
Speaker 2:they wake up. When they wake up, what's her name? Jamie? Jamie's just furiously masturbating With oh I forgot. Yeah, yeah, she's using one of the dildos they found, which we didn't even say what was inside the case, did we? Well, they didn't. Did we open it in front of people? Yet, yeah, we open it at the diner, or?
Speaker 1:something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we see that it's a bunch of dildos. We don't know what they are yet, but we know that it's a bunch of dildos.
Speaker 1:So there's five dildos in the case and you're surprised. And then you're just like, oh, it's disappointing.
Speaker 2:It's disappointing, and then it's disappointing again Once you find out what they are, for me at least. Because, as a MacGuffin, this doesn't even make sense to me. But so she's, she's just going to town and she's like I tried to wait for you as long as I could, which is a funny line to me, but that's, that's kind of it, and then, and then we just move on, then we just move on. Then the bad guys like bust in right. Isn't that the?
Speaker 1:next moment the bad guys bust in. Don't look inside the case.
Speaker 2:Grab the case, grab the head and just leave.
Speaker 1:Yep, I don't know, but they oh wait, but they take the girls too somehow Right. Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's complex Well, not if you don't show it, that's true. It's actually really simple. It's super simple if you just cut to the next scene and they have all that stuff.
Speaker 1:Incredibly easy to abduct people. I mean just pull guns out. Did they ever have? Did they pull guns out? They didn't pull guns out. I don't think. Just pull out your guns and say, okay, we're out of here.
Speaker 2:Get dressed and get out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's go, let's go, whatever. Uh, then we cut and we have miley cyrus back to the psychedelics having sex with, I guess, matt damon ostensibly it's a young cgi'd matt damon, I think or someone that's supposed to look like young matt damon?
Speaker 2:I don't know, I couldn't really tell. Luckily they had that weird 70s psychedelic thing over it, so you can't really tell. Maybe that was the whole point and they were. We can't make it look like Matt Damon, so let's just obscure his face with nonsense.
Speaker 1:Go to the dog track. What's his name? Whose place is it? Big Boss Guy? He's in that new Four Seasons thing. Delroy. It's not Delroy Lindo, I don't know. He's really good. He's like the one person in here who's like I'm going to act in every one of my scenes.
Speaker 2:But is that good in this movie? Well, yeah, you know what I mean, because that's what you have to do.
Speaker 1:You have to be a really good actor. To prove that you're a really good actor so you can say well, I just did my scenes, so that I was. Coleman Domingo. Coleman Domingo, he's in that new terrible four seasons thing. He's great. Did you watch that? We watched the first episode. We watched 75% of the first episode. Then we turned it off and we're like, yeah, no, we're not going there.
Speaker 2:All right, fair enough For very specific reasons Interesting Okay.
Speaker 1:They're at the dog track. The girls are tied up.
Speaker 2:Somebody says a track, the girls are tied up.
Speaker 1:Somebody says a day late in a dick short, so that was very funny.
Speaker 2:That's, that's your boy, coleman yeah, he makes that, he does that line and it's I mean it's a good line because it's a twist on a classic saying. You know, unlike you wouldn't know wet cement if it bit you in the ass, which isn't a twist or clever on any level.
Speaker 1:So what we find out is that Matt Damon's character, when he was college age, had sex with Tiffany Plastercaster, who there was, this real woman who did this to rock stars oh, okay, who did? This, and so these five things. The big boss guy tells this to the girls, yeah sure does, tells all this to the girls. The whole story, the whole story, the story that they would not have any information about if he just shut the fuck his mouth and took care of his business. Just walked in there whatever.
Speaker 2:So far it's just a random five set of dildos.
Speaker 1:Yes, doesn't mean anything, but now we find out that these are five penises of powerful people and matt damon, senator, wants his back because uh, because apparently if it gets out, because he's so conservative that it would ruin his reputation or something.
Speaker 2:So basically, basically you should, whatever it's just here's my problem, and we're going to get a little personal here. Okay, so now all of these penises pretty big, okay so like in my eyes, I'm looking at this and I'm like, like if someone released that, I'd be like, yeah, look at that, that's pretty nice. If someone made a cast of my penis was like, hey, we're gonna release it, then we'd have some problems because I'd be like people don't need to know, people don't need to know what that looks like, my friends.
Speaker 1:It's not great. No compare god, does they?
Speaker 2:damon's got a great penis apparent in this movie like it's, it's so nice that this girl, these two girls, are like man. We're going to keep them. You really want to lock that down? Tell the world, baby. Tell the world, well he's a conservative senator.
Speaker 1:Whatever it is, I know the point being is it doesn't have his initials on it.
Speaker 2:It's not like he signed it or something you can't prove that it's him, you could take any dildo ever and be like well, this is a cast of this person. So here you go, one million dollars doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:You're like, no, not make any sense, you can't provenance it back to the girl that did this.
Speaker 2:Maybe if miley cyrus was still in the movie and that character was like peddling these wares, then maybe that would make sense you gotta sell a story, and the story is just a casting of a penis.
Speaker 1:It just it's so thin and then you have the head, whatever. So the two hoodlum bad guys are getting mad at each other. The one guy kills the other guy, then he kills the boss, and then he was about to kill the girls, but he's run out of bullets and so he just leaves.
Speaker 2:No, he doesn't just leave, he says the funniest line of the whole movie. He's almost in tears and he goes Mommy and then runs away. Boy, that's hilarious. That tracks with his character. That's something that somebody who just killed two people would say Super clever stuff.
Speaker 1:I hate this movie um beady arrives in tallahassee with the dog. Um, they call the senator because they want a million dollars. And then what's her name? Jamie goes and gets art supplies to surprise, surprise, cast recast the penis um, how would that?
Speaker 2:how would that work exactly? Can you make a cast of another cast? Because either you're either inside the cast or you're outside the cast. The size is going to change um, but I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know things okay, I know well, of course, I know these things I know and.
Speaker 2:That's why I'm asking. I want you to describe to me how to make these dildos 10% shrinkage.
Speaker 1:So basically, if I have this pencil, what I do is I coat this pencil in latex. I shouldn't be doing this, but I coat this pencil in latex. I coat this pencil in latex, I coat this pencil in latex and then I can make like a two-part plaster mold, right, that holds it in place, oh, and then you fill it. Then I pull this out of the latex and then I set this up and then I pour new whatever that kind of rubber is the rubber, whatever the mold, yeah the rubber into there, and then I make a new pencil, but this pencil will be about 10% smaller, because there'll be a little.
Speaker 1:I think maybe not 10%.
Speaker 2:There is a little shrinkage that involves somewhere along the way, not enough that it's probably going to affect it.
Speaker 1:Thank you for the art lesson, Dan. It'll look pretty much the same. So they call the senator. They call the senator. They call the senator. Marion finishes her Henry James book.
Speaker 2:I don't know anything about the book, so I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1:And then they go and have sex in the shower and then they both get out. They're both like. I want to make love with the senator's penis. Jamie is happy and she makes love with the senator's penis. Jamie is happy and she makes love with the senator's penis.
Speaker 2:I'm happy you're reading that.
Speaker 1:That's fun this part was just weird yeah. I don't get it the whole idea that it's almost like they're in love with his penis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a great dick. Okay, be proud of it, matt Damon, but that's just weird for these characters to be upset?
Speaker 1:I just don't understand. I have no idea. Okay, so they're at a lesbian bar. In comes Matt Damon or Matt Damon's there. He's got the million dollars.
Speaker 2:He's like who are?
Speaker 1:you.
Speaker 2:This is a different bar than Pedro Pascal was in. Yeah, because it looks very similar. No, no, they do like the similar shots of him peeking around the booth and I was just like I don't understand why we're doing that.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's just a callback to that bar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Who are you? He says. They say Democrats, democrats. That's funny.
Speaker 2:Which, if this was a little bit more politically leaning, would have been a funny joke. In this movie it just kind of falls flat because it's like, oh right, we're also talking about a little bit of politics, but not really. He takes the case.
Speaker 1:And the head and leaves they party or no, we're going to party and they're like not tonight. And then they go outside and there's Suki. Wait what happens? I don't know what happens.
Speaker 2:Suki confronts them, and then they're arguing in the street and then Matt Damon tries to kill them. Matt Damon tries to kill them, which doesn't make any sense to me, dan, and let me explain to you why. In the beginning of the movie, pedro Pascal not killed by Matt Damon he clearly has people that he has hired to kill Pedro Pascal. Why would he then try to kill them himself? Why wouldn't he just hire those people again to kill the girls? Because they all got killed. I didn't see them get killed, did I?
Speaker 1:that waiter never comes back oh yeah, you hire all the waiters and people. I don't know, it's just I don't know either it doesn't make any sense. So basically his whole thing falls apart. The dog is involved, alice. The dog goes for the head and, yeah, he gets thwarted because just because of the movie and nobody's, nobody's excited or nobody does anything shoots him or something in the shoulder or something because she has a gun in the dog carrier or something.
Speaker 2:It's the most anticlimactic ending to a movie, maybe of all time you could literally say it's anticlimactic. Yeah, it's literally anticlimactic it's nothing, it just kind of happens. And then we just move on to the next scene and like, okay, the movie's over, we have a news we cut to the newspaper, senator's life falls apart.
Speaker 1:You're like, well, that's there's that.
Speaker 2:There you go, that's it. That's the movie. Thank you, everybody. They say we get to keep. They get to keep the car because you know who You're like. Well, there's that. There you go. That's it.
Speaker 1:That's the movie. Thank you everybody. They say they get to keep the car because you know, who knows what's going on. Right, and we find out that Jamie has cast two of the penises for each of them, so they both have one of the penises. And then here comes Aunt Alice, who's somebody's aunt. They drive away. Marion's aunt it's somebody's aunt, they drive away.
Speaker 2:Marion's aunt. It's Marion's aunt, marion's conservative aunt.
Speaker 1:Three people sit in the front of a car, a thing that always drives me crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't make any sense at all.
Speaker 1:And then they're like we're going to Massachusetts where women can get married, and she says, well, that's an innovation. And they drive away and they've left the penises behind, right, yep, yep, they left the penises behind.
Speaker 2:They've forgotten the penises, the bellhop runs out with the bag and is like ladies and then looks into it and then has a weird look on his face and I have no idea what that look is.
Speaker 1:And they change the back of the car to say love is a sleigh ride, here goes. And as they drive away, they drive under a bridge. And then the drive away dolls, the dolls disappears and it says drive away dykes. Yeah, yeah. In some ways this was the most offensive thing in the entire movie.
Speaker 2:I mean again, not being a lesbian myself. Maybe it's not, maybe it's funny, I don't know.
Speaker 1:No again, not being a lesbian myself. Maybe it's not, Maybe it's funny, I don't know. No, no, no, it's offensive to me because the name of your movie is Drive Away Dykes. That is the movie you have written. You have bowed to whatever pressures in your brain or whatever, and changed it.
Speaker 1:And then you tell us at the end of your movie that you wanted to be called driveaway dykes, but because you wanted more box office or less this or less, that, that you've changed the title of your movie, which ostensibly is as important as anything in a movie, right?
Speaker 2:A hundred percent. It's interesting that that's the part that offends you.
Speaker 1:Here's the part that offends me.
Speaker 2:Is that suddenly they're getting married? Oh God, whatever. How did we get here, dan? Where is the journey? I missed this whole journey. When did they even fall in love? They never fell in love, never did. Dude, I am baffled, I am angry and I am upset. This makes no sense.
Speaker 1:Jamie learned to love this person that she just spent some time with.
Speaker 2:Because she's never spent time with a person. When did she do that?
Speaker 1:She's never spent time with a person.
Speaker 2:Oh, I see what it is. She's just never Not with the same person, because that person finally made her feel guilty for her promiscuous ways. Yeah, I don't know, man, I don't know, this is a bad movie. It's a very bad movie.
Speaker 1:And, like we said, how much time did we spend speculating on whether they got the culture right?
Speaker 2:Almost zero, maybe one or two little things where you're like, I mean, I guess.
Speaker 1:Because it has nothing to do with why this movie sucks.
Speaker 2:No, Listen if you like it, that's great. I'm glad for you.
Speaker 1:It's a comedy. There's funny-ish things that happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I laughed a couple of times, I guess.
Speaker 1:And I mean that's the thing that makes it rough. If you're saying that's the thing that makes it rough is like if you're, if you're saying, let's look at what's what's happening in in cinema, that sort of deals with these, with characters like this, you're like, and this is what you point to and you go to this, you're like it's a bit it's bad, that's it.
Speaker 1:That bumps you out, it bumps you out, you know, because there's a million heterosexual movies that sort of deal with those kind of issues and then you only get a few of these and for this one to be such a swing and a miss, it's kind of sad, it's sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I didn't have fun. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1:Oh, tony, we did it, we got controversial.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to watch Coen movies. I just don't.
Speaker 1:I don't enjoy it. Well, you're going to have to watch another one in about six months.
Speaker 2:I don't want to, I don't want to watch it. What is it, honey, don't, honey, don't.
Speaker 1:It might be really good. I expect everyone's going to be like they figured it out.
Speaker 2:We watched the trailer last night looks terrible.
Speaker 1:It does look terrible, right, that trailer looked so bad.
Speaker 2:Trailer looked really bad. At least she's not doing this accent anymore.
Speaker 1:So that's something, they learned something.
Speaker 2:I won't want to reach through and strangle her and tell her to stop it Tony, tell us about something you liked this week. We are a little late to the game on this, but we started the Apple TV series Bad Monkey. The Carl Heisen novel turned into a new TV show with Vince Vaughn. It's great.
Speaker 1:I hear you saying a lot of words. I don't know any of it.
Speaker 2:It's called Bad Monkey.
Speaker 1:It stars.
Speaker 2:Vince Vaughn. It's like a detective murder mystery type show.
Speaker 1:I like detectives, he's very good in it.
Speaker 2:It's fun. We're having a great time.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Are you watching the nonas too? I don't know, that's his, that's his like sitcom-y kind of thing, that's. Oh, that's the baking one with the answered, or the grandmas or something. Uh, no, we have not started that, but I I'm interested I'll watch it.
Speaker 1:It's been number one on the network netflix charts for, so the problem is we, every time we're not watching a movie on Netflix, we cancel it, damn.
Speaker 2:So the only time we have Netflix is if you make me get Netflix to watch one of these movies.
Speaker 1:I watched on Netflix. There you go, Documentary short the quilters.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:Is it about people that quilt 10 times better? I mean different and better. It's about a program in a prison where these guys make quilts for foster kids. Jesus, of course, it's like half an hour, just like you know, when you see a good documentary, you're, like you know, wow, talking about something real you know powerful moving stuff, you know they get the.
Speaker 1:At the end they get, like the, you know, the card with the photo. They spend a little time, they do a little video of the kids getting the quilts and you're just like, oh man, oh jesus and that's why you see a movie like this and you're like this is how, this is how you spend your time you know sure copy and stuff. You've already done two killers out to do a thing, but worse oh, you don't even improve.
Speaker 2:It's not like oh you know what, we kind of got it wrong last time. I'd like to improve upon it. It's not that it's just like well, it worked last time, let's just kind of do the same thing, just throw it in there.
Speaker 1:It's not like rebel moon one and rebel moon two, or what was that called? Was it rebel moon? What was that?
Speaker 2:called outlaw. I don't even remember at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah you know they're making great film. You know they're making more is.
Speaker 2:I thought that they decided not to is. Are they still making more?
Speaker 1:I just think I saw something a couple weeks ago that said they were making more have you ever, have you ever gone?
Speaker 2:you just keep doing, you buddy, I've just gone and tried to listen to the podcast.
Speaker 1:You should try and listen to the podcast.
Speaker 2:I haven't you think so.
Speaker 1:No, I listen to it. It's so terrible. It's not like really sexual too.
Speaker 2:Oh see, now I'm back in.
Speaker 1:You hooked me you might really dig it, tony, you might. Oh, zack Snyder, what about that new Superman trailer?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I have thoughts. I have thoughts. You loved it. I'm concerned. What are you concerned?
Speaker 1:about it looks great. Does it look great? Yeah, of course it looks great.
Speaker 2:Fillion looks great. As Guy Gardner, I think I'm really going to enjoy that.
Speaker 1:He's going to be so funny. I think I'm going to enjoy that, that there's not enough of that shit.
Speaker 2:My concerns come from how petulant and childish clark is during the interview portion. He's super I understand. I understand that it's just he's so like, why he's like people were gonna die. I saved them. You should thank me. I just like oh, that's not very Clark like, but you know, we'll see how this character develops. Basically Also my other concern it's almost the exact same storyline as Batman v Superman, don't you think? Just a little bit? Do you remember that movie?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's the thing where they like drop the alien weapon down like a well thinking that's solving the problem.
Speaker 2:That stupid movie Okay sure that's the end of the let's go. We got to go backwards. It's more the beginning of the movie. It's the catalyst of the story, which is Superman goes into a foreign country to save Lois' life and either beats people up or kills people. I'm not really sure he beats people up or kills people. I'm not really sure he beats people up in another country and basically the government is like well, he can't act unilaterally, we have to have some confines on him. So they have like the people turn on him a little bit and they have like a big what's a court meeting called? What's that called?
Speaker 1:Court meeting. Yeah, the court of King Arthur assembles. Yes, that's what happens, Whatever the trial or something. Oh, you mean what happens in a courtroom? It's called a trial.
Speaker 2:Yes, Tony, that's what you call it.
Speaker 1:They put Superman on trial in that movie.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's like trial or like some sort of it's kind of like what they do to Iron man in Iron man. What they do to Robert Downey Jr where he has to like talk to the government. I don't listen, I don't remember everything, but basically it's the same storyline.
Speaker 1:They question him, they bring him in.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, they bring him in for a hearing and then you know, and then Lex booby traps it and kills everybody and they blame Superman. Anyhow, it's darker, but it's a very similar storyline, where he goes and stops a war and then the government is like, well, you shouldn't do that, and the people are like you shouldn't do that, and then they kind of turn on him and then he has to regain their trust. That's. It looks exactly like what he's doing in the trailer. It's, it's the same story. It's. Everyone hated zack snyder's, I don't know, because sex is terrible and they sure they threw the weapon down a well, and then the the whole end of the movie was trying to retrieve the weapon from a.
Speaker 2:well Listen, I know what happens at the end of the movie. I can't.
Speaker 1:I got to that point I was just like are you kidding me? I better throw this down a well. No one will ever find it down there because it's in a well. Everybody knows the thing in a well can't be found.
Speaker 2:Look at Never mind, that's going to be dark. Listen, I understand that it's not a perfect film. Trust me, I get it. I'm just saying they just threw somebody's body down.
Speaker 1:a well what?
Speaker 2:was that you threw someone's body down a well. Well, that was in the past, Dan. You shouldn't be admitting that on the podcast we were watching some TV show or something.
Speaker 1:They killed somebody, they threw it down the well and I was like man.
Speaker 2:they probably shouldn't do that that's a bad plan. That's not going to work.
Speaker 1:That's not going to spoil the well for generations. I don't know that's a bad idea.
Speaker 2:Yes, the answer to that is yeah, you can't.
Speaker 1:That water is undrinkable. You have to be able to use that well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't, you can't use it. You, you're going to die Rotten orange today. Oh no, a regular orange.
Speaker 1:Did you eat it? It was a raspberry orange. Yeah, of course I ate it.
Speaker 2:What the hell is a raspberry orange? I've never heard of that before. Is it a crossbreed between a raspberry and an orange? Does it come? Small and bubbly like a raspberry, but orange colored?
Speaker 1:What's going on over here? Oh, they had them at the store. Straight up, jokes, raspberry oranges.
Speaker 2:I think that they knew all of them were bad, so they're just like I don't know, call it something different. It's a raspberry orange. So when they open it and it's all red and moldy, they're like ah, it's probably still good.
Speaker 1:Okay, so what are we doing next week?
Speaker 2:Yeah well, I haven't even talked about it yet.
Speaker 1:We better do that, because you got to get to work very soon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll do it quick because it's a movie we've been waiting for for a long time. It's the biggest movie of the year. Minecraft is now on video on demand. We're going to buy it. We're going to watch it next week. We're going to make fun of it. It's going to be great.
Speaker 1:I'm intrigued because I don't know anything about. Minecraft Never played.
Speaker 2:You know probably a little more than I do I. I have put a lot of hours into mine so that'll be perfect.
Speaker 1:You'll be the, the noob and the dube. Is that a good thing? I don't know. I do doesn't sound positive. Pube the dube yeah, don't use the pube that was my, oh, no, my little, the noob and the cube.
Speaker 2:Oh, the kid See, now let's, we'll cut out the other two.
Speaker 1:The poobie, poobie, poobie, poobie, poobie, poobie, poobie, poobie, poobie, poobie, poobie. Okay, yeah, that'll work. Because the review I had with the guys watched it just till it got to the point where they went to Minecraft Land and they were like it was interesting. They said that part was good.
Speaker 2:Okay, that doesn't feel like it's very far into the movie though.
Speaker 1:You know, it's the Whatchamacallit guys. It's what's his name, the.
Speaker 2:Napoleon Dynamite guy. Yeah, yeah, and that movie hate it I love that movie. And that movie hate it. Hate that movie with a fiery passion Love everything about that movie you would, you would, I'd say that movie didn't stick to its tone. No, you can't, and that's you gotta respect. Even if you don't enjoy it, you have to respect them for going for it and I do. There it is. I do, but I just won't watch the movie again.
Speaker 1:It's just not for you. You know what I mean. It's not for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the thing Not for me on any level but good for you for making a movie that stays true to itself. True to be kind.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're calling it, we'll be back next week. Like, subscribe, leave a comment and we'll be talking about United States next week.
Speaker 2:You better believe it, baby.
Speaker 1:Minecraft won.
Speaker 2:Minecraft Bye-bye, Bye everybody.