Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Pathfinder: Swords, Snow, and Terrible Viking Fashion Choices
Step into the shadowy world of "Pathfinder," Marcus Nispel's forgotten 2007 action film that stands as a fascinating study in missed opportunities. Released in the same week as Zack Snyder's "300" with a comparable budget, this Karl Urban-starring vehicle attempted similar visual flair but stumbled where "300" soared.
The premise holds genuine intrigue: a Viking child, abandoned and raised by Native Americans in 800 AD North America, must later defend his adoptive people when his bloodthirsty biological culture returns to pillage and destroy. It's a setup ripe with potential for exploring identity, belonging, and choosing one's own path—yet "Pathfinder" reduces these rich themes to a straightforward revenge tale drowning in murky cinematography.
Throughout our discussion, we unpack the film's fundamental flaws: characters without names or development, confusing action sequences where you can barely distinguish one Viking from another, and logical inconsistencies that break immersion. The Viking villains pursue destruction for destruction's sake, forgoing more historically accurate and compelling motivations like resource acquisition or taking slaves. Even the special edition's reportedly excised sex scene becomes a curious footnote in a film already struggling with basic storytelling coherence.
What makes "Pathfinder" particularly fascinating is comparing it to Nispel's later work on "Conan the Barbarian," revealing a director who seemed to learn some lessons while repeating others. For fans of Karl Urban, we recommend skipping this misfire and heading straight to "Dredd" for a masterclass in how to use the actor's talents effectively. Whether you're a student of film looking to understand what makes a movie work (by examining one that doesn't) or simply curious about this forgotten chapter in action cinema history, our deep dive into "Pathfinder" offers both entertainment and insight into how even promising concepts can lose their way in execution.
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It's going to be a short episode. It's not going to ever be a short episode. I think this one's going to be short because there's not going to be a lot to talk about and it's not a super long runtime, so it's going to be fine, you did.
Speaker 2:You're very commendable. Well, we got to talk about that too.
Speaker 1:Oh, are you going to give me flowers, as the kids say, or is it the opposite, I don't know?
Speaker 2:opposite I don't know, I'm gonna shit in your mouth.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna give you a shit your mouth. It could go either way.
Speaker 2:That's great okay, I'm wasting all my comedy gold. Welcome to he Watching with Dan and Tony the least preluded episode we've ever had.
Speaker 1:I know we're into it quick. I've only been rolling for one minute 30 seconds. That is a world record.
Speaker 2:Usually, Tony and I are like blah blah blah, 15, 20 minutes. Yeah, Did you see this person? We used to know they're releasing their own feature film. That happened this week. Strassner yeah, Michael Strassner, Good job. Good job, Strass Jay Duplass Am I saying that last name right, check it out. South by.
Speaker 1:Southwest Baltimoreons, baltimore.
Speaker 2:I mean, come on, that is a great title, 10 out of 10 title in a world that has seen. You know, we got to call movies dune 2 baltimoreans, you know that's pretty good, pretty darn good. You know, very exciting in 2012 would have been a smash hit in the movie theaters. Now, hopefully it'll do really well, uh, wherever things stream.
Speaker 1:It'll stream and it's going to be nice. It's going to be really good, I can feel it. I have a question for you, tony. I may or may not have an answer, but please.
Speaker 2:Why does everything seem to be streaming on Peacock but also going away in a month on Peacock?
Speaker 1:It is. I don't know if we're just chasing it. We're chasing that Peacock high or something. Because you were chasing that peacock high or something, because this is the second one in a row. That's like it's leaving soon. You better watch it. Super weird. I don't know what's going on. Wait, this was on peacock.
Speaker 2:No, this was somewhere else though or something, another movie that was going away that we're talking about yeah I mean, oh, and I know what it was, it was um we watched pathfinder. Oh, 300 was on something. Ah, the 300 sure to watch for free, and it was.
Speaker 2:It was um we watched pathfinder oh, 300 was on something, ah the 300, sure to watch for free, and it was going away in like 26 days. It was like it was, I think it was on peacock and it was like, yeah, this is going away yeah, maybe they just don't pay for the rights for very long.
Speaker 1:Maybe they're there for one month. I'll give you eight dollars to stream it for one month. What do you say, fellas? But 300 came out in 2007.
Speaker 2:So did this movie. Well, yeah, we'll talk about that, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Very excited.
Speaker 2:Each week we talk about a movie. Sometimes we preface it with a lot of things that have nothing to do with that movie. Sometimes we get right into it. This is a Tony peak. Oh yeah, when did you peak Tony?
Speaker 1:Well, so here's what happened, right. So, dan, last week, if you don't follow the show, first of all, welcome Shame Pleasure to hang out. Shame on you. Dan picked Conan the Barbarian and I already forgot the director's name and this is the second movie we've done by him. But I was watching this movie and it it reminded me conan the barbara, reminded me of a trailer I saw many years ago about this movie with with my my good friend, carl urban. So I looked it up as I was watching conan and I was like, holy shit, it's the same director and it came out three years before. So then I was like, well, that's what we're doing and we'll see if he learned any lessons. And spoiler alert oh, you think no, I think he did, because this movie is way worse than conan.
Speaker 1:I would watch conan a hundred times before I watch this movie again yeah, you're, you're right.
Speaker 2:I mean, he has he, he has learned lessons, but he also has made the same movie again. Yes but just slightly better.
Speaker 1:It's still a bit. Conan's still a terrible movie, but this movie is also worse, so he did incrementally. He's a baby step, stan. That's all you can ask for. If we would have given him 15, 20 more movies, I think he would have gotten there I really do.
Speaker 2:He did a Halloween movie. Did he doeen movie?
Speaker 1:did he do halloween or did friday the 13th? He did friday the 13th and halloween and texas chainsaw massacre.
Speaker 2:Oh no, you're right, he did friday the 13th. Okay, that's what I thought yeah, he did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he did. The reboot remakes of in the 2000s uh, both fine movies okay, so he does, there's something he could do.
Speaker 1:Okay, people don't love friday the 13th. I think it's totally fine. It's not great, but it's like in every couple of years we rewatch it. It's not an every year halloween movie, but every once in a while. And I'm just not a huge texas chainsaw massacre fan. But are some things? We talked about it last night when we were watching this movie. There are a few scenes that we still vividly remember from his version of Texas Chainsaw, because it's pretty messed up and visceral. There's one shot where they either pull back or push through a gunshot in someone's head. The camera tracks through the head. Really cool stuff. But you know, this movie is worse than both of those. I would wager.
Speaker 2:Well, it's interesting because this movie 2007, hour and 39 minutes. They cut 10 minutes of violence and gore.
Speaker 1:Which is all that's left in the movie, anyhow.
Speaker 2:And I guess a sex scene. Right, there wasn't a sex scene in this movie no, no yeah. I think when the girl shows up at the cave, they have sex.
Speaker 1:And that was in the other one. Well, yeah, it was like if you're going to take it out of this movie, I'm putting in Conan motherfucker.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and they did release a cut of the movie with all the, all the stuff.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't watch that one.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't think. I don't. It didn't, it might've been available.
Speaker 1:I read about this afterwards Okay, so it might've been like a DVD.
Speaker 2:You can buy the DVD for sure you can see it on there. They were like extended.
Speaker 1:It might be worth ordering off of Amazon just for a Carl Urban sex scene. I don't know I'm into it. I would pick Carl Urban over Jason Momoa any day. I know people probably don't agree with that, I mean he was better than Jason was. He's an actor.
Speaker 2:You're like, oh, I'm going to start everything. Is there any character whose name in this movie you learned from watching the movie?
Speaker 1:No, I feel like I should be ready for these tests.
Speaker 2:No, I say that every time.
Speaker 1:I know, but I feel one of these times I really want to shock you and I want to just have a laundry list of names ready and I just never do it. I never do the homework. I mean I know Ghost, but that's not his real name, right? No, that's his name of names ready to, and I just never do, I never do the homework. I I mean I know ghost, I think, but that's not his real name, I think, right? No?
Speaker 2:that's his name. That is his name okay. Okay, I think they said it once sort of yeah, they didn't say hey ghost come over here green. Yeah, they sort of said, somebody said it like in reference to him or something like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I do not believe they ever said his girlfriend's name.
Speaker 1:Pathfinder's daughter. Yeah, that's probably the name.
Speaker 2:Yeah, starfire, her name is Starfire.
Speaker 1:They for sure didn't say that. I feel, like I'd remember a cool name like Starfire.
Speaker 2:And then Pathfinder occupation, not a name, not a name?
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:The big bad guy thinks name is Gunnar who?
Speaker 1:I don't believe the.
Speaker 2:Vikings had names. Yes, Well, I mean in a script you have to give them all names, so you can differentiate them.
Speaker 1:You could just do Viking 1 through 15, because that's basically how I remember them.
Speaker 2:See, I don't think a guy that gets the lead villain role in a movie really wants to be your Viking one.
Speaker 1:He's like but I'm third built. What do you mean? I'm Viking one.
Speaker 2:I don't believe those characters ever refer to each other as names.
Speaker 1:No, for sure not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and could you tell the difference in any of the scenes, except for maybe the occasional close-up between Viking 1 and Viking 2? Or any?
Speaker 1:of the other Vikings? Not at all, because this is also very poorly directed. So there's a lot of weird jump cuts everywhere and there are scenes when the two Vikings are talking where, I swear to God, it's just one guy talking to himself. I have no idea who is number one, who is number two, who is leader. What they're talking about it's it's also it's super underexposed, right. Everything's so dark and grainy. I I couldn't tell half of what was going on in this movie um the next question I have.
Speaker 2:Okay, like you, so 300 came out the exact same year as this.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, same week as this. No, did it really? That's weird, Because I would have assumed that this movie saw 300 and was like I'm going to kind of do that, but with Vikings One year later.
Speaker 2:You assume that this was one year after 300.
Speaker 1:That's interesting. Same week, I bet I know which one did better.
Speaker 2:Got to get back to that in one second. Okay. So how do they feel like they're from the same, they were birthed in the same birth canal. One's like the misshapen twin and the other's like it's like a twins One's Arnold Schwarzenegger and one's Danny DeVito.
Speaker 1:Which one's the good one out of those?
Speaker 2:yeah, I know, that's like you know what I'm saying yes, 100, you know, I have the one twin fed off of the other twin and the, the pathfinder twin, was this withered little creature that came out like help me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, I don't have an answer to that at all. Okay, it's, it's bizarre, because what is you know what we should look up? Did you look up budgets for the two of them not?
Speaker 2:really, um, our dude came out of doing mercedes commercials. He was a big commercial guy like you know, big, big, big commercial. Yeah, did what's his name?
Speaker 1:do commercials zach snyder yeah probably not, I bet. And this is just based on nothing, so nobody yell at me. I feel like he's more of like a. He's probably like a music video guy like um but they both came out of those slick worlds probably let's. Let's look up zach snyder's IMDb real quick and see if he did anything previous. According to Google, by the way, both budgets were between $60 and $65 million. Whether that's true or not, I obviously can't confirm it, wow, but there's a chance that they were pretty identical.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, zack really used a lot of green screen. So after watching half of this movie I was like, okay, what I'm going to do is I'm going to go watch 300.
Speaker 1:Oh interesting, I'll tell you what I watched later.
Speaker 2:Watch 15 minutes of 300 and see if, because the first half of this movie and the last half of this movie just intolerable to watch, You're just like come on intolerable to watch.
Speaker 1:You're just like, just like, come on. Just, which is lesson number one that he learned in between this and conan was do something hilarious at the beginning of conan and he did the birthing of the chat, cut open a woman and tore out a child, I mean that's funny as shit so lesson one check he did something surprising at the beginning. That's the nice way of saying it, yeah um, so I watched the first.
Speaker 2:You know, I don't know 15 minutes of of 300 holds up. Great, you're just like we have. We have real actors. What's her name? His wife is cersei from game of thrones. She's in the movie that I watched too she's, and she's just like what you know she's a superhero. She was, yeah oh yeah what was our number one movie that people don't give it?
Speaker 1:the judge dread movie she was the bad guy. Judge straight alert. That's what I re-watched after I watched pathfinder, because I was like I need to.
Speaker 2:I need to watch carl urban kick some ass right now, and he does you know you, just you watch like these good actors do good acting and you know you're like 300. Whatever you want to think about where zack snyder went, you know, because you know these people are standing in front of the wheat fields. It's very similar shots to what happened in the rebel moon movies. You're like yeah wow okay, he's not learning the lessons either.
Speaker 1:Um yeah, well it's tough, it's tough well, because you know, 300 did really good. Right, it did really well. So you don't learn those lessons. You learn that like, hey, this shit works, I should do this again.
Speaker 2:People love somebody standing in front of a wheat field.
Speaker 1:Apparently they do. That is not what we liked.
Speaker 2:Not what we liked. Sometimes you learn the wrong lessons. Yeah, well, that is cool.
Speaker 1:This is Sparta.
Speaker 2:Yeah, great, you know you're yeah, well, that is cool, this is Sparta. Yeah, great, you just, you know, you're like oh, what's he gonna say? Oh well, we know what he's gonna say. He's gonna say this is Sparta. He's like go screw yourself. You know, we got whatever 300 good movies, this movie you know, I think there's two lines that I wrote down in the whole movie, and I wrote it down because they're bad well also how many lines.
Speaker 1:I wish we should do a word count of this movie, because it's got to be less than 100. I swear there's very little dialogue in this movie and what there is is just awful. Yeah, but I don't think I wrote down a single line. I can't even.
Speaker 2:There's two point Pathfinder. The Pathfinder says a couple of things that are significant supposedly to the plot, the bear thing, the bear is one of them.
Speaker 1:That's the only thing I wrote down.
Speaker 2:Oh, and she did one about wolves, which I didn't write down, but when I went looking for the sex scene to make sure I hadn't just somehow missed it, I was like she said in every man there are two wolves A wolf that pees on the carpet, one that's smart enough to go outside, or something.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Did they have wolf pets? Because all wolves belong outside, if you ask me. So I don't know if I like this analogy here. The real question is where did the Vikings' dogs go? Great question. Maybe they adopted the dogs?
Speaker 2:Maybe they did. Should we talk about this movie?
Speaker 1:I aren't we done. I feel like we did a good job.
Speaker 2:Uh, we start with the credits. There's warriors marching, there's drums, there's chains. There's vikings attacking native americans. The year is 800. They're here as settlers and okay, um, I did the, I researched vikings. Okay, they made it to north america. They did have a settlement up in.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, canadian isles above connecticut they also did iceland, they also did greenland, they also wow, did did settlements all over the place, and what they did in these settlements is, yes, they did raid, they did, they did do is yes, they did raid, they did do things. They stole stuff. They were powerful and jerky, but they also were-.
Speaker 1:Jerky.
Speaker 2:They also were mercenaries, they also worked as mercenaries at times.
Speaker 1:Oh, you could just hire them out to do your dirty deeds. I love that.
Speaker 2:In this movie. I'm going to jump ahead when they explain this to us Okay, they're here to settle, but before they can settle they're going to kill everyone, Everyone.
Speaker 1:Everyone Just raising the whole place, yeah.
Speaker 2:Three little boats of guys. We're going to kill everyone because they're dirty or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know the classic white man people. You know we're we're bad people end of story.
Speaker 2:But you see, it's a terrible way to set up your bad people. Make them come here to take all of their stuff. We're you know sure we're gonna show up right after the spring, right when they're, right after they. They've they've tanned all the hides and we're going to steal all their good stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah which makes sense. I believe in that. A general just like ah, we're going to destroy it, all that's dumb.
Speaker 2:The other thing they did they took slaves Vikings. Vikings took slaves man. They weren't very nice at all.
Speaker 1:The only thing I learned they didn't actually have pointy helmets, that's what I learned in a Google search and that's the most disappointed thing I've ever heard. Yep.
Speaker 2:But there's some movie that they're coming out with and they oh, it's what's his name? What's the new? Christopher Nolan. It's one of the old, like Troy kind of ones you know old, greek, whatever and they're doing like the most standard. You know bullshit helmet and everyone's getting so mad they're like that's not what they wore. Get it right for once.
Speaker 1:It's just not period accurate. Come on, guys, blah, blah, blah, yeah I get.
Speaker 2:So just give them a motivation that actually is a motivation. Their motivation is we want to kill everyone and then, at a certain point, we're going to lose everyone.
Speaker 1:we have to kill one guy, Well because he's like them or something.
Speaker 2:That's not a real motivation. If you lose 100 guys doing something and you have 200 guys, you're not going to be like we should keep doing that because we got another 100 guys we could waste. Yeah, there's sunk cost fallacy. Come on, these guys are not going by that. Do you know what the sunk cost fallacy is?
Speaker 1:I sure don't, but I was going to just let that one go because I was like I'm sure some people in the audience know what it is.
Speaker 2:Sunk cost. Fallacy is when you invest money. Invest in something either time or money or energy, and then you feel like you can't get out. You know I got to keep throwing money into it.
Speaker 1:Similar to this podcast. It's like we started it. We're too deep to stop, or just ah, how do we get out of here?
Speaker 2:Nothing has happened. It's going to end. When I end, I'm going to fall over and Tony's going to be like well that's, that's our show, folks. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Dan is starting to decompose.
Speaker 1:The show's over.
Speaker 2:Goodbye, um, I'm gonna have shannon just weakened at bernie's your body for at least a month, but I mean that was the other thing. Is that's your conflict with your number two? Is he's all like? Why do we keep doing this?
Speaker 1:right, yeah, this is dumb. We should go do other stuff right now. Oh no, we gotta get to sky. That's my's, my Viking.
Speaker 2:But that would involve characters actually interacting as opposed to being sort of these monolithic situations that just roll across the ground.
Speaker 1:You want to know what my big problem is.
Speaker 2:Tell me your big problem, Tony.
Speaker 1:So I watched the trailer the other day and you know who narrates the trailer Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman.
Speaker 2:Where is he in this movie?
Speaker 1:Yeah, which he did narrate, conan. So I was like are they going to do the exact same thing? They don't, so I wonder if they just Somebody?
Speaker 2:knows Morgan Freeman.
Speaker 1:I don't know it's weird, but I thought he was for sure going to have something to do with this movie. He didn't.
Speaker 2:I was real. It's like it'd be $100,000 and I will do it.
Speaker 1:Done.
Speaker 2:They're like well, that might fool a few people when it's the end of the movie.
Speaker 1:Hook line and sinker right here.
Speaker 2:So we see this lady walking through the snow. A Native American lady she sees a white horse. She follows the white horse. There's a Viking boat which I was like that's pretty cool. That would kind of mess with your mind if you ran into a Viking boat.
Speaker 1:Okay, so that's my problem right there. Do you hear the words you just said?
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:If you ran into a Viking, she literally runs into the boat. You don't see that before you get to it, dan, it's a big boat. She kind of walks up on it. It's like three feet away from her, but she finally realizes that she's got a giant boat here. I was just worried about her safety, because she's obviously not very, she doesn't pay attention. She's a woman, okay, and that's our show. Everybody, we're out.
Speaker 2:She goes in there. She pulls on a chain. Up comes a dead Viking out of the water. She finds more dead Vikings. A big Viking statue of a Viking falls over on her. Then there's a child with a sword. He drops the sword and then they hug it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was confused on this.
Speaker 2:This is the first party that was in the credits.
Speaker 1:But, they lost, they're all dead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're all dead.
Speaker 1:The Vikings aren't all that good at this if you think about it. They lost, so they lose twice. Yeah, that's what I said, I mean that's.
Speaker 2:Three ships, first time they send one ship.
Speaker 1:one ship loses, that's not enough.
Speaker 2:Three ships sad to chance at winning.
Speaker 1:They did okay for a while. Yeah, sure.
Speaker 2:They have a council. Oh no, they have the council and they're all like is this a demon? He'll become a monster. And the mom's like we'll all be monsters if we kill him, which not the way it works.
Speaker 1:No, no. Also, it would be cool if he did become a monster. You know that's a different movie, not a real monster, but similar to how we were talking about in Conan. I feel like it's the same thing where he's not really doing anything.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I mean, he is just a normal guy that hangs.
Speaker 1:There's no conflict with him. You know he's like hey, there's no like conflict with him. You know, I mean like he's got nothing to do his torment level is zero, right he's.
Speaker 2:He's a guy that's like dumped into this. You know, we, we fast forward to the. So they decide to let him stay. We jump forward, I think, uh, 20 years yeah, something like that.
Speaker 1:Not as far as. So he's only like 22?
Speaker 2:No, he's like nine, he's like eight or nine. Yeah, 24, 25. Yeah mid-20s?
Speaker 1:Yeah, mid-20s, you're right, younger than I thought, okay.
Speaker 2:So 15 years this guy's? They won't let him be a brave, but they literally tell us that in the movie.
Speaker 1:It's not a thing that he's been living with. This should be. And they tell him oh, by the way, you shouldn't be in the tent, can you leave the tent please? And he's like oh, this is the first I'm hearing of this, I guess I'll leave. Yeah, that's good we.
Speaker 2:That is not how we're, that's not how we should do it that's so. We should set up that he is, this outsider. We should see him being shunned, we should. But he's like. Everybody loves him, except he's kind of not a brave kind of sort of yeah, like you're not really one of us, but we really love you.
Speaker 1:So just you know you could do everything except for this one thing in conan.
Speaker 2:When the guy was a kid, we had this race, and so he he proved himself. Did you think they were gonna do that? When they were all in the tent and told him he couldn't be brave, did you think they were going to be like? You know, we're going to test you people. And he was going to win.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean that's well, yeah, because that makes sense. But instead he's just like he's cool with it. He just kind of was like OK, yeah, whatever you guys want to do, that's fine.
Speaker 2:I'll just go back to carrying baskets all over the place, it's fine.
Speaker 1:Now he goes and practices a sword at one point, which is confusing real quickly, because later when he's like, hey, everybody you need to run, they're gonna kill you because they use these weapons that cut things, and they're all like, what is this thing you have?
Speaker 2:but he's had that sword his whole life they also had an entire viking boat worth of stuff and ostensibly for 15 years, an entire bunch of dead vikings that all had swords and all I mean they would have these weapons or at least know what they are like maybe they're like we don't use these weapons.
Speaker 1:They're not for us, that's fine, but they know what they are. They should not be like whoa it cut through something. I can't believe this. That's very silly. Yeah, because that's fine, but they know what they are. They should not be like whoa it cut through something. I can't believe this. That's very silly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's always a thing with the whole Star Trek. We're not allowed to interact. Then somebody leaves a phaser laying around. They just left a whole Viking. They wouldn't get that boat going again, these guys would totally have that boat going. They would be using that for all kinds of fishing.
Speaker 1:They'd be rocking that boat. No, it didn't move 15 years, nobody went to it.
Speaker 2:They don't use chains for things. We live the same way, bullshit, bullshit. He sees his lady love across the village because the other village has come and they're doing a, you know, village to village thing Hang out Like a block party. He's got a guy that hangs out behind her who I'm assuming is her brother.
Speaker 1:Great question. I thought it was her husband, but then it never came up again. I was like, okay, I guess not. So probably brother. Yeah, you're probably right.
Speaker 2:We never know.
Speaker 1:He never says anything. You don't need to know.
Speaker 2:We know that they're going to fight eventually. They never fight. There's never a conflict. He never even says well, they don't shake hands Because they don't shake hands.
Speaker 1:He comes to shake his hand. He's like I'm not shaking your hand, but internally, obviously.
Speaker 2:And then, uh, carl urban's like okay, cool, bro, and I think that's the last time they interact for the movie you've set up this whole thing with this antagonistic character who's keeping you from your lady love. Yeah, we're not gonna use, we're gonna don't worry about it, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:he should be with the group that they meet up with later. Maybe he is, I don't even know, I guess.
Speaker 2:He's in the cave. He's in the cave, but nothing ever comes back up. He's in the cave where he's injured.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's like oh, I passed out when the bear was.
Speaker 2:He's in the bear cave and then when they leave, he goes with them, he's sort the bear cave and then he, when they leave, he goes with them. He's sort of in charge, sort of. Pathfinder's in charge, but he stays with the main group when they leave. So he's there. He has some red on his face so you can sort of recognize him.
Speaker 1:Great. I just thought that if they met up again later, that something should happen like tensions should rise again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would make sense.
Speaker 1:But they didn't do it. That's all right.
Speaker 2:They had too many endless battles. Did you read reviews of?
Speaker 1:this thing. By the way, there's a lot of reviews that are like well, the action's cool, but the rest of it sucks. I disagree. I thought the action was dreadful. We've been.
Speaker 2:We've been blessed by much better action as time goes by, and so I think back then that's, true they were just like oh, you know, I mean I don't watch the lord of the rings movie, but movies. But maybe the action in there is good or maybe it's kind of eh but people just love it so much I think it's probably pretty good.
Speaker 1:I don't remember. I'm not a huge Lord of the Rings fan, but I am a huge Viggo Mortensen fan, so you know it's tough.
Speaker 2:I just remember that second movie just being intolerably long and it was just people riding horses across landscapes and I was just like please kill me.
Speaker 1:But the question is did you ever play the PlayStation 2 video adaptation of the Two Towers? Because that is possibly the greatest movie adaptation video game of all time.
Speaker 2:Does it involve lots of riding of horses across large fields?
Speaker 1:No, there's almost none of that Like. It's an action adventure man and you're on the wall at one point. I play Legolas. All the time You're firing arrows. It's good, good man, it's a great game it's a great game good to know 15 years later.
Speaker 2:Lady, love the old pathfinders. He's ready to get out to choosing the successor. Oh, this is when they kick him out. He goes and practices sword and then the pathfinder goes to talk to him and like you're, you're, you're cool bro.
Speaker 1:Well, they say something about hey, you got to face your demons, or something, right, I don't know. I didn't write that down. It's the whole movie. It's the arc of the movie, right there.
Speaker 2:He'd never face any demons, that's true. Not his demons at least the next day is the market day Checks out his lady, he goes hunting. The small girl sort of follows him and the girl gets menaced because here come the Vikings, because they're in the forest and they're riding horses on all those roads that are through the forest. Yeah, you can't ride horses through the forest, primeval.
Speaker 1:You can't, why not?
Speaker 2:He's up there skinning things, the village gets attacked. There's one shot where he's looking down because he hears things going on and we see the three boats in the ocean In the distance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like that's a good shot. Why doesn't he? Oh, he sees them. Oh, he does see them.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, you mean, why didn't he see him earlier? Yeah, because he's going back.
Speaker 1:The village is here right, and then there's water and he is somehow on the other side. He went a long way, he went so far away, first of all, and then, and his tanning station is like in the snow right yeah, like you would choose to go to the snow. This is where I'm gonna do my work, where it's the coldest.
Speaker 2:Let me put my tanning station as far away from the village as possible, I want to be 45 minutes to an hour away minimum.
Speaker 1:I need my space.
Speaker 2:That's where he keeps his playboys.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna go have some fun in the woods Pops, I'll be back. And then the horn blows at one point when they're like, hey, we're under attack, oh yeah, and he's still skinning. But we cut to him and we hear the horn still, but it takes him 30, 45 seconds to be like oh, is there a horn? It's just weird, editing I just there was too much of him not responding to the horn of danger.
Speaker 2:Now, was that them that had they had the horn?
Speaker 1:Great question I actually don't know who had the horn.
Speaker 2:I assumed it was the Vikings that had the horn to tell him that they were attacking the village.
Speaker 1:Hey guy, are you here? Where are you Like? Why would they signal a horn? Oh ghost, that's what they're saying I don't know, I don't know either.
Speaker 2:So he goes down there and in the time they've now like killed everyone and crucified some of the diamonds, Some of them Crucify people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I'm telling you, he was really far away, danny. He was across the ocean, basically.
Speaker 2:He's distraught, he finds his mom and is sad. Wouldn't you really figure out who had lived and who had not lived?
Speaker 1:What In the village?
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you're going to know how many people there are, yeah, and you're going to be like, oh man, this, some people. You're going to figure out if people escaped or not right, for sure, yeah, 100%, because you're going to want to know if they were taken as slaves. You're going to want to know. You're gonna want to know and they don't tell us any of that. You know he's like he should have figured out a path. Yeah, he didn't even react as if or look for his girlfriend's body well, he's never really the pathfinder no, no, no, that doesn't matter, I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying he's not very good at the job if, if you know, if everybody on my block was killed, I would go through all the bodies to figure out who I might still have out there to help me well, listen, I don't want to be rude, but if my whole block was killed, I would just be like, okay, we gotta go, let's just get out.
Speaker 1:I don't give a shit, let's get out of here. What if?
Speaker 2:you weren't with your wife, would you look for your wife's body?
Speaker 1:oh, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, I would do that. There it is, first the cat, then the wife, exactly, you'd look for your cat and your wife. The only two important things in your life 100% and then I would get in the car and we would leave. I wouldn't care, Even if someone was like if I heard a little help got to get out of here, it could be a trap. We got to go.
Speaker 2:Oh Jesus.
Speaker 1:I lost page two of my notes. Oh no, that's half the movie.
Speaker 2:They didn't kill the chief. They toy with the chief. He runs into the middle of everyone while they're toying with the chief and then they kill the chief Kill the chief. Yeah, because they're doing him a favor. They were going to be mean to him, but they're like since you're the chief, give him an honorable death.
Speaker 1:We're going to kill you so dumb, real dumb.
Speaker 2:They give Ghost a sword and he immediately blinds the number two guy.
Speaker 1:And they're so mad that he did it. You gave him a weapon. What did you think was going to happen? Idiots, this is what you deserve. This is karma.
Speaker 2:Instant karma. Same thing that happened in Conan. Conan, he bit off a guy's nose. This one, he blinds a guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, conan, again another lesson learned, because the nose A comes back later and he gets to dig his finger into that nose, which is a great moment.
Speaker 2:That was a funny scene.
Speaker 1:Funny scene. But you know too, it's just way cooler to do a nose than an eye.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you get to do the stitching up of the eye later. It's like whatever.
Speaker 1:Sure, I don't care about that.
Speaker 2:He runs away. They pursue him with dogs that are on giant chains.
Speaker 1:Tony talk to me about dogs and pursuits. Well, I've never done a pursuit with a dog, but I wouldn't keep it on a chain because I would be slowing it down big time, unless I'm sprinting. I'm not sprinting. I wouldn't keep it on a chain because the dog's going to go faster than me, and then I follow the dog, I think.
Speaker 2:Have you ever watched the TV show show cops or any other cop show? No, no I don't like I don't like.
Speaker 1:They make me sad oh, they are sad.
Speaker 2:Well, they have the canine unit on there and they bring in the canine unit to find people and this is what they say I'm sending the dog in. Oh yeah, for sure, you're sure You're going to get bit. Yeah, the most hardened criminals in the world. When the dog gets them and bites them, they become screaming piles of fear and terror, because those jaws they clamp on.
Speaker 1:You cannot get it off, you can't shake that.
Speaker 2:You don't beat the dog Every time. I've ever seen it. And these people sometimes have guns and stuff the dog, just that dog's so fast though. You can't hit that fast. You're just. He is on your ass. You're on the ground. They let these dogs go. The movie ends.
Speaker 1:You can't give them dogs.
Speaker 2:And then the dogs disappear. We never see the dogs again after these seeds. Well, here's the difference.
Speaker 1:We have hundreds of years question mark. When is this, douglas we? Have a lot of years of knowledge of teaching dogs, so we're just better dog trainers. The Vikings, they didn't know what they were doing.
Speaker 2:I saw those dogs. Those dogs were ready, those dogs were ready to hunt, those dogs were going.
Speaker 1:Those dogs were ready to hunt. Those dogs were going to destroy him. They're going to destroy something.
Speaker 2:Maybe they went for a pheasant, Maybe they're like ah lunch, he goes into the swamp rises out of the swamp kills a guy, steals a horse, goes into the storm and that shot's from the trailer, by the way, and that's in my opinion, it's the coolest shot of the whole movie. It's just him getting out of the water, his hair flip and then SWORD. It's almost like it was stolen directly from Predator.
Speaker 1:It's not exactly like Predator, because in Predator they don't have long hair there it is no long hair Steals.
Speaker 2:a horse goes to the snow, fights a guy on the horse gets to his hut, gets all of his stuff and then they are there and then the movie turns into Willow you love Willow.
Speaker 1:Be honest, start telling the truth, dan.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know, when we make the giant chart of best of the worst and worst of the worst Willow's, are we going to do a full ranking someday? We could, but then we'd have to probably watch some of the movies, because we'd both be like what is this?
Speaker 1:It's been four years, right? I mean, I don't know anything. Love Guru very low, Great movie Willow probably very high. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I mean your complaints about Willow are semantical, they're just choices. You know, it's like Exactly yeah, 100%, 100%. It's silly and dopey, but you know, at least it's entertaining, it sure is.
Speaker 1:Sure is so. Do you want to talk about? So what happens here? Yeah, I don't even know what you're talking about. What happens here?
Speaker 2:Well, they're on topeds. Oh that's right. And then we slide down the mountain fighting For a long time and this is you know.
Speaker 1:usually you would play something like this for laughs, not like oh it's jokey, but you'd have some sort of like this is a little silly, but we're having fun with it. This is. We take a very. This shield sledding is very serious stuff, very controlled, like he's done this every day of his life, since he's like nine years old.
Speaker 1:He's been slight, although he's never seen a shield before well, that's true, he's never seen a shield because they never got the stuff from from the place. But you know there's not a lot to do on a mountain, dan, so he probably slid down a bunch of them uh, this is where we do the Conan thing of having people fly into very hard objects it was funnier in Conan. Yeah, everything's funnier in Conan. I don't know. I'm not sure what the problem was, but he figured it out, did it in Conan.
Speaker 2:He finally goes off a cliff into a pond or lake and then sort of gets away, but he's been injured.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what, he gets shot with an arrow from behind or something. He gets shot with an arrow, yes.
Speaker 2:He's been stuck with an arrow oh, just one arrow. They stitch up the eye guy and then the big boss kills one of them just to show how crazy and angry he is.
Speaker 1:Love that. My favorite bad guy move. Is that your favorite? This is my most hated bad guy move it doesn't make a decision on why he's evil. And then do that. Don't just do the blanket like, ah, just let him kill somebody, we'll get it.
Speaker 2:They understand now yeah, maybe you can just stomp on his foot or like you know. So shut his anus. You know that's the way you want to kill somebody.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite show how Crazy you Are is Lethal Weapon where, where he goes like this. First of all, not Mel Gibson, because he's the good guy in that movie. No, when Gary Busey, when the bad guy's like Joshua come here and then he does the lighter on Busey's arm and he just doesn't move and you're like, holy shit, this guy is nuts. That's a cool way to do it.
Speaker 2:Well, more importantly, you've proven two things right. You've proven your boss, bad guy, doesn't fucking care about the people. But he also knows who the right people are to employ 100%, and then Busey's like nothing's going. But he also knows who the right people are to employ 100%, and then Busey's like nothing's going. To faze me.
Speaker 1:I'm going to get the job done, and that's the thing.
Speaker 2:You've got to figure out those little things where it's like, oh yeah, I've never seen this in a movie. No one's seen that they do that in that movie. You're like well okay, they made that shit up.
Speaker 1:That's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good for you, good for you, I love it. Boom, boom, boom. So he kills the guy and then he's all like we got to go find that guy because he's going to lead us to the next village.
Speaker 1:Yeah, why do you need?
Speaker 2:this, you know like if there's nobody.
Speaker 1:No, why would Carl urban go to the next village? He doesn't know? He's going to be tracked Like that's. That's one, oh one, I don't know. It's just felt weird.
Speaker 2:And the other thing do you really think Vikings are like the greatest tracking nation ever?
Speaker 1:It sounds like they are so.
Speaker 2:I don't really know. I mean they like they are. So I don't really know. I mean they, they, they say they, they, they. They show us things that want us, want to make us believe that they are, but it's like I do not buy that no, it doesn't really make a lot of sense.
Speaker 1:And if they because then especially like they're totally lost then and later in the movie and they're terrible at going through wilderness.
Speaker 2:And if they could track Carl Urban or Ghost, why can't they just track the 15, 25 people that survived?
Speaker 1:That ran to the next one. Yeah, no great question, it's always a lot easier to follow a bunch of people than it is to follow one dude. One dude who could just like here we have one set of footprints, here we have 34 set of footprints. Where should we go, guys? I don't know Go on set of footprints.
Speaker 2:Ah, where should we go, guys? I don't know. No one. Vikings are on the trail. Oh, okay, on the trail. So we find the people that escaped are his girlfriend, his girlfriend's brother and the Pathfinder. They go to this cave. Here comes Carl Urban. He falls down because he's been injured, and boom, here comes a bear. The falls down because he's been injured and boom, here comes a bear.
Speaker 1:The bear goes like this Now, did the bear follow Carl Urban? I have no idea, because of the blood, like a shark. Are bears attracted to blood? Oh, I'm sure bears can smell blood.
Speaker 2:That makes sense.
Speaker 1:I think it is because in Anchorman, I believe, they talk about how the bear can smell for menstruation, if you remember that scene. So yeah, no, so the bear must have followed Carl because of the blood scent. Thank you, anchorman, for getting some very vital information in my life, the place where you go to Sony gets all of his information.
Speaker 2:90s comedies.
Speaker 1:Where else can you go? Wealth of knowledge.
Speaker 2:So Pathfinder is like okay, back off, bros, I'm going to take care of the bear. He's like hey, bear, I'm going to walk away from you like I don't even know you exist, Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. At the last second, as the bear charges in, he turns, sets his spear, spears the bear. Yeah, same thing happened in 300.
Speaker 1:Was it a bear? I think it was like a lion or something, a wolf at the beginning of the movie when he's learning to be a Spartan as a kid. Yeah Well, I mean, there's only one way to kill animals.
Speaker 2:Set, spear and spear them up. Lay down and let it run into you.
Speaker 1:I mean that's classic animal behavior, Because animals are pretty stupid.
Speaker 2:That's why we won? Because they're a bunch of dum-dums.
Speaker 1:Yeah, food chain baby.
Speaker 2:Now here's a question for you. Yeah, I was watching this video online and this woman was on this road and this little cat comes up to her and the cat's like meow, meow, give me a home, meow.
Speaker 1:Sure yeah.
Speaker 2:I wonder if cats are figuring that out and mother cats are like, okay, I'm going to leave these babies here. They will go up to people and cry and then they will get perfect homes for the rest of their existences.
Speaker 1:Well, here's what I will tell you this is here's a little personal anecdote here when I adopted my cat, major tom, this was about 12 years ago I went to uh I don't know pets, pets mart. One of those places just has like adoption rings, and I was walking and I was walking through and I love just looking at the animals you know and meeting and greeting, and there was this one, tom, and he like was following me, like with his eyes the whole way, and I was like, oh, that's interesting, let me, can I hold this little guy? And I wasn't in the market for a cat and he, we took him out and he jumped into my arms, like he jumped up into my arms and was like licking my face and I was like, okay, I guess I'm adopting this guy. And then I brought him home and he was the biggest asshole for the next month of his life and I was like I think I need to return this cat.
Speaker 1:This cat fooled me into bringing him home, pretending he was like a sweet, cuddly little boy and he's in fact a monster. And like I called my wife because she was long, this is the time and I was like crying. I was like I think I have to bring him back. I don't know what to do so. Yeah, I know, I think they, I think they figured it all out, dan, and they're they're manipulating all of us they know what they're doing.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, boom, boom, boom, set spear. Vikings are on the trail. They have a big party in the cave. Yeah, as you do, they use magic to heal the ghost. They take the arrow out. My favorite part of it is they take the air out and then they have a pot of water. They tossed the arrowhead into the water and we get that classic plink, which is very similar to what happens when you pull out.
Speaker 1:You know you're if you're pulling slugs out of a person and then you put them in the blitz.
Speaker 2:I was like for sure why would they throw that in the pot?
Speaker 1:like that, make the blink because it's familiar, you know like. You're like oh yeah, I've seen this before, I've seen this they take a bullet out of a guy sounds the same, I get it. Arrowhead bullets the same idea idea.
Speaker 2:They blow smoke on him and then he wakes up.
Speaker 1:And that's a good thing. Right the smoke? I didn't understand. It's just incense Stoned maybe I don't know hey, nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 2:And then the brother of Starfire's like we're gonna fight them, Not that he knows anything about what's happening, but he's like we're gonna fight them, Not that he knows anything about what's happening, but he's like we're gonna fight them. And then Carl Urban's like no, They've got armor and swords.
Speaker 1:Just like this one and they're like what is this thing? Yeah, even though he's just carrying it all the time, as far as I can tell.
Speaker 2:And then he's like you should run, and then he bails.
Speaker 1:And I'm like is he leaving what's?
Speaker 2:happening we don't know. And then it turns out that they are going to run, and then Pathfinder's like you know, we're going to run, but we're not going to go up to that one pass up there, because that's where the avalanche happens. And I'm like, oh, they're going to avalanche happens. And I'm like, oh, they're gonna avalanche excellent yeah, it wasn't that excellent, just you know. Spoiler alert well, let me ask you a question, tony, okay, yeah, did you know instantaneously that that's how they're gonna defeat them with avalanche?
Speaker 1:no, I'm not that smart. It wasn't until he was like, hey, we, we're going to go onto this mountain. I was like, oh, I see where we're going.
Speaker 2:Usually I'm oblivious to things, but this time I was like well, I guess we're going to avalanche them.
Speaker 1:I guess that's how we're going to solve this little Viking problem. Yeah, I can't wait to talk about the avalanche.
Speaker 2:And of course he's had an arrow in him. Couldn't function.
Speaker 1:Now he's had an arrow in him couldn't function. Now he's like I'm at 110%. Well, yeah, the arrow's out. Dan, I don't know if you know how arrows work, but once they're out of your body, it's fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, at some point we'll have to talk about the trauma of having surgery, when you lay there for days and are like please kill me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've had. I mean, well, I guess what's talking about right now. I've had knee surgery, just like the arthroscopic where they just put in two tiny tiny little holes and I was out for like two weeks. I was like I can't move my leg. Guys, I can't do it. So I I can only imagine having something like this big inside of me would fuck me up.
Speaker 2:My mom had to have, I think, knee surgery and then she, they had like this terrible inside of me would fuck me up. My mom had to have, I think, knee surgery and then they had this terrible torture machine that she had to use a couple times a day. That would be like me, me, me me just to make sure she you know, and each time she'd increase the range.
Speaker 1:I mean you got to move that shit, Otherwise it swells up yeah. We have great new inventions like the I don't even know what it's called, but like the electrode machine, that's what I call it they put patches around your kneecap on the muscles, and then it just flexes your muscles and instead of working out like that helps the beginning of rebuilding your atrophied muscles, which is incredible, and then it makes going into PT a little bit easier.
Speaker 2:Oh well, there you go. That's cool. Okay, set up the idea for the avalanche and then Pathfinder's kind of like you're on a path to vengeance. Maybe you shouldn't do that and you're kind of like it sort of seems like it's important what he's doing. It's like buying them time.
Speaker 1:Yep, he's basically trying to save your entire village what's left of the villages so maybe let him do it and I don't know.
Speaker 2:And it's not about vengeance, it's about protecting these people.
Speaker 1:They started it? Man, he wasn't, he didn't go searching for these guys and like, started the fight and then they came and killed everybody.
Speaker 2:They just started killing people and he's like well, I guess I should stop them yeah, like if they came on the boat, killed his family and then left and carl's like well, I'm gonna get in this dinghy and I'm gonna row across the sea and to their house and kill all them.
Speaker 1:That's a vengeance that's vengeance, this is nothing he does is vengeance. No no kind of like batman. I am vengeance. No, he's not. I hate the Batman. Have we talked about him? Which I dislike that movie, which one?
Speaker 2:The Batman.
Speaker 1:Matt Reeves. The Batman, robert Pattinson, yeah.
Speaker 2:Zoe Kravitz.
Speaker 1:Very attractive. Oh, 100% yeah. And Penguin, great, right. You know there's a lot of great stuff Cinematography, unbelievable Story, Terrible. Everyone's like, oh, he's finally being a real detective. He doesn't do shit. In that movie Alfred solves 90% of those riddles, all those crimes. He does barely anything. And then he's like you're not my dad. That's the whole story of the Batman. It's dumb. I don't like that movie.
Speaker 2:We watched half of it.
Speaker 1:I, I don't like that movie. We watched half of it and I never finished it. It's beautiful, it is stunning, but you know, as it's not, I don't like it.
Speaker 2:Maybe if he works off of one of our scripts It'll be better.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, we'll just DM him. We'll send that over to him. For your perusal of the script, that's better than the shit you have been using.
Speaker 2:Okay, he is Vengeance For your perusal a little script. That's better than the shit you have been using. Okay, here's Vengeance. He leaves the quiet, one follows him. It was this little guy that doesn't speak and goes hee, hee, hee and plays a little flute.
Speaker 1:What's going on with all that? I don't get it.
Speaker 2:He's not happy about it. They trudge across. Somehow our people have gone so far. Now they have to trudge back across this weird trackless waste of stuff and somehow the Vikings are very far behind.
Speaker 1:I think everyone just went in different directions at one point and nobody knew. They're all just like oh, we're going here, and then everyone's confused.
Speaker 2:We have some and he's like oh, he gets mad at this one for following. Stop following me, Stop following me. And then he keeps following him. He's like I guess you're following me, I'll help you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, why.
Speaker 2:That's your classic. You know, at the beginning of the movie they go in there like Rambo, you got to come help us. And then Rambo's like no, I live in this cabin now. And then in the next scene, rambo comes outside and he's like okay, I'll go with you, let's do it. I think in Rambo they actually have a. They have a turn. You know, a real movie has a turn. I see a picture of a child crying and like, oh, the children will cry if I don't do this, I better save these children.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, this one there's like none of that.
Speaker 1:It just feels like he's like I don't care, I don't care about anything, you're going to die anyhow, it's fine.
Speaker 2:You've never seen Seven Samurai, have you?
Speaker 1:Negative no.
Speaker 2:In Seven Samurai, they go to the village. Negative no In Seven Samurai they go to the village. They've got the bandits attack the little town, little farmer, town Farmers go to the big city to recruit some samurai to come back and protect their town from the bandits. Because the bandits come like once a year. Classic bandit behavior they pick up the six samurai and then the seventh one is Toshiro Mifune, who wants to prove himself and he follows them and they throw rocks at him and try and get him to leave, but at a certain point the wise guy that's in charge is like he proves himself by being persistent.
Speaker 1:Persistent. Yeah, that's great, makes a lot of sense. You know what? Don't tell me. I don't want to be spoiled on this movie that came out 50 million years ago.
Speaker 2:The people that survive is Toshiro Mifune survives, oh great.
Speaker 1:Good for you, guy.
Speaker 2:Interestingly, the big boss guy, the main smart samurai, survives and then one of his other guys. The other four die. But how interesting to have. You know, we know Pathfinder's going to die right Sure. Sure, if you set up a thing where we do not know what's going to happen, it's a ten times better movie Automatically.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, okay, I understand what you're saying there.
Speaker 2:Um, so they're going to the canyon where the past converged, the Vikings somehow traveling along all these magical roads that the Native Americans have built so that they have proper ways to get their horses. Now's the time we're going to talk about. What do they eat?
Speaker 1:Snow. Is that? I don't know. I've eaten snow before. It's pretty good.
Speaker 2:Tonyony have you ever worn armor?
Speaker 1:uh oh, are you talking about the rain right now? Because I was thinking about this the whole time is, you don't want to wear armor in rain. You mean that would suck? Isn't their armor stainless steel? You're not anymore. You don't know. It's rusted to shit. First of all, and second of all, you're getting water trapped everywhere in there, like your helmet's got to be so hard to wear with all the water coming through. Terrible, terrible. I don't, I would never want to do it.
Speaker 2:A lot of it's terrible these people travel for miles and days and weeks and years and don't ever get out of the never take their armor off.
Speaker 1:You're like you've got to be kidding me, that is not how armor works.
Speaker 2:You do not travel everywhere in your full armor. It's impossible.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you something. Sometimes I'll have an audition and I'll have to put on jeans so that I look professional. The entire time that I'm at this audition, all I'm thinking about is getting home and taking the stupid jeans off so I can be comfortable again. If I had to wear armor I would be so mad all the time. I would be like God. I can't wait to get back to my hut and just disrobe.
Speaker 2:And this is Tony. He's got a work ethic.
Speaker 1:Do I wear the jeans? I wear the jeans. My legs are sweating. They can't breathe. It's a war. I hate pants.
Speaker 2:I hate them. Starfire takes off. She's like peace out. I'm going to go find Ghost and help him. Ghost starts prepping. Starfire gets there in a stormy night. Oh, this is when the Vikings blow their horn to let him know that they're approaching where he's setting his hand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we found you, buddy, yeah.
Speaker 2:He starts by killing a couple of scouts. They use a bow. He's buried in the ground. I guess that's a copy of the swamp attack already. Oh sure, he's got pointy traps. He dresses up as a sexy bunny to try and entice them. Wait, wait wait, wait. I think I missed this part of the movie he jumps on a horseman and then at the other time he double swords. A guy, yeah that's always fun. Then the Vikings said fire all the stuff. But then they used a pit trap on them.
Speaker 1:Then they hang a guy and then he does the fake legs trick I like the fake legs trick.
Speaker 2:That was good.
Speaker 1:That is actually good. I am confused on the pit.
Speaker 2:Yeah Whose pit, is it? They've dug a pit? Well, they've dug numerous pits. When you say they, who is?
Speaker 1:they? Is it the Vikings? No, our guys built the pit. Because, don't our guys jump in the pit and die themselves at one point. No, no, that's later, that's later.
Speaker 2:Okay, he's got two pits. Okay, he's got the big, big pit, which is just a little ways out of the thing, but in the other thing he's got this pit, but he's got the girl and the silent one are in the pit and then at the right time they push. They push up some spikes that spike the horses right, okay, no, you're right, I remember that.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, okay, so he does that uh, fake leg trick.
Speaker 2:Guy gets bows, then he goes away and he holds the head and he's all like, ha ha, ha, I got you. And then they're going to charge. And then he has a pit trap ready for them to charge into and I'll die. But then a bunch of his people just magically appear and they charge into his pit.
Speaker 1:And he yells at them no.
Speaker 2:And they all just like we're not listening to you. You're like, who are these guys and where did they?
Speaker 1:come from.
Speaker 2:Why are they charging?
Speaker 1:I don't understand so many of them die, so many of them keep running like, wow, that guy in front of me just fell into a pit. I wonder what's going to happen to me. I fell into the pit too. I'm so confused because are you telling me he dug that whole pit by himself?
Speaker 2:That's a huge pit.
Speaker 1:He had the silent ones. Okay, so there's two people. I watch a lot of Supernatural and they have to dig up a lot of graves that are six feet deep, coffin size, and it takes them all night. If these guys are building this giant pit, that's going to take them four or five days of non-stop digging.
Speaker 2:Okay, yes, it's ridiculous yeah, did you ever see um last of the mohicans?
Speaker 1:yeah, think about that for a long time, but yeah I mean you think back at last of the mohicans.
Speaker 2:You're like, these guys are not powder puffs, these guys are not gonna fall into into a pit that their buddies dug Super weird Super weird. It just was so dopey. It was so dopey to watch all of them just be so ineffective. They're like, oh no, I'm falling in a pit.
Speaker 1:But you know, classic white man, you know sabotaging his own people.
Speaker 2:Sounds about right. Sounds right, okay. The hang guy taunts them. Bodies show up, they all die in the pit. Slow motion murder. He flees, they go to the cave. They catch his girlfriend. Almost Then they do catch her, but then the quiet one saves them by laying down his life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Ghost laments his life. Then they climb up the Vikings then cook her brother alive, and then Pathfinder shows up and he shoots. He shoots the guy before he dies, so he doesn't have to die being burned up, he just gets shot by an arrow. Very nice, here's the line I wrote down. Okay, have you had enough of your vengeance? This is what Pathfinder says to Ghost, which Ghost says I was doing my vengeance and you fucks, showed up and screwed up my plan. I'm very successful at vengeance, you suck.
Speaker 1:I would have been so angry and you ruined it. I was 50% done with my vengeance and you guys came in and just Shat all over it.
Speaker 2:Like you're getting mad at me, bro. What the hell you?
Speaker 1:guys, you jumped into a pit of spikes. That is not my fault, that's not even the vik spikes. That is not my fault. That's not even the Vikings' fault. That's entirely your fault.
Speaker 2:Contact me, give me a call, make a bird noise. Bird, bird, bird, bird, bird. I'm like oh my God, my bros are here, my friends are here.
Speaker 1:Hey, don't jump in the pit, everybody yeah easy, easy stuff.
Speaker 2:You know you go back. You watched the Native American Predator movie right.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:No, we never watched it.
Speaker 1:We never watched it. You're a fool. You're right about that. It didn't come out in October. I like to watch my horror movies in October.
Speaker 2:It's not a horror movie.
Speaker 1:It's a Predator movie. I count. Those.
Speaker 2:Those aren't horror movies, those are science fiction. I mean, they're pretty scary. They're like war movies. They're battles. War movies are very scary. They're not scary. Those movies are not scary.
Speaker 1:Well then, why do they do movies with aliens, which are definitely horror movie? Avp, I mean, mean you can't cross genres, dan? I think it's a horror, I'm gonna look it up right now it's predator considered a horror movie.
Speaker 2:You continue your show. My name is tony um, okay cook the brother alive.
Speaker 1:It's action sci-fi. I don't believe google uh, so then?
Speaker 2:so now we're at the end. The three fight on pathfinderfinder and her and Ghost, and they all get captured. They tie up Pathfinder. And then no, they tie up Pathfinder. And then he says to him he's like you know about the bear, use the bear's strength against it. Yeah, is that what he ends up doing Using the bear's strength against it.
Speaker 1:No, he sneak attacks the bear. So like the lesson should have been like you up doing Using the bear strength against it. No, he sneak attacks the bear. The lesson should have been like wait till the bear's eating some honey and then stab it. No, that should have been. Just like how Conan doesn't learn his lesson, this guy, pathfinder, also doesn't learn his lesson.
Speaker 2:Ghost doesn't learn his lesson.
Speaker 1:Sorry, that's what I meant by Pathfinder Ghost.
Speaker 2:Well, the way you defeat them is what do you know more than them? You know the land right.
Speaker 1:Sure, that's what he knows more than them.
Speaker 2:He knows the land.
Speaker 1:Or you could just tell him, like, bring him to the avalanche bud, just do that, see what happens.
Speaker 2:You know the avalanche, get him to the avalanche.
Speaker 1:Avalanche corner. You know that place. Bring them there.
Speaker 2:Okay, so then they tie him to the tree. And what do they do to him, tony?
Speaker 1:Drawn quarter him. Is that what it's called?
Speaker 2:That's what it's called Pretty cool. Another thing I used to want to do, but it was the one where they you wanted to do that to someone, or you wanted to have that to someone, or you wanted to have that done.
Speaker 1:No, yes me, I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it to somebody else and I don't want to die from it. I need someone to be very careful about it. But I just feel like it would be a really nice decompression tool, you know. So I'm like like this, and the horses just pull that spine. I'm 300 pounds. Damn, my spine is so compressed. If I could just, you know, stretch that out like a slinky, I think I'd be 6'3", 6'4".
Speaker 2:It'd be pretty cool just saying drawn and quartered, that's I've always wanted to try that, but not to death. You know what I mean? Just a little, so I'm thinking in the uncut version they probably show us more of him being, I would hope so because I was really.
Speaker 1:It's rated r and I was waiting for him to just torn limb from limb and it cuts away and then you just get a little blood splatter on the face.
Speaker 2:Very disappointing they, they did Drawn and Corded in Furiosa. They did it very well. I have not seen it. Oh, so good.
Speaker 1:I can't watch that before I watch Mad Max Fury Road. You know what I mean and I'm never going to watch that.
Speaker 2:He's such a weirdo. Okay, so they cut that out. Starfire cries and they they're like tell me where they're at, she spits at him and they keep, oh, they keep on asking everyone questions and they're speaking Viking and you're like, why is he? He's trying to elicit ghosts, speaking back to him in Viking, which he does?
Speaker 1:and he's all like what, how, why, how, oh cause he learned and he's all why, what, how, why how?
Speaker 2:oh, because he learned viking. He's nine years old I'm assuming you spoke english when you were nine years old, maybe not you a normal nine-year-old price.
Speaker 1:Spoke english when they were nine sure, let me ask you if do you think you could do third grade math in third grade sure no, now, 20 years later you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like great she hasn't spoken that language in 15 years.
Speaker 1:I, I'm just and I know I'm on the other spectrum side of the spectrum on that but I would never remember that I took five, five years of spanish through high school and college. I can't, I, I can't say one thing in Spanish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but Viking was his primary language. Sure, I understand what you're saying you would still be able to speak English.
Speaker 1:When do you start speaking English? Three, four, five? Sure, someone that has kids let me know. So I mean he only spoke it for a couple of years. It's not like he spoke it for 30 years and then took a 15 year break he spoke it for five years 15 years off. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't buy it he still speaks it absolutely all right, I'm convinced of that.
Speaker 1:It's not like he's got books on tape to listen to to remind him how to speak.
Speaker 2:He should have just directed all the questions to Ghost, then I'd have bought it.
Speaker 1:I'd have been like oh okay.
Speaker 2:But he's like directing these Viking questions.
Speaker 1:To other people.
Speaker 2:He's like hey dude, hey Tony, I'm going to kill you unless you tell me something. And you're like I.
Speaker 1:What's he saying? I don't understand what he's saying. I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2:Don, I don't know what to do. Don't want you killing me.
Speaker 1:Tell me what you need I would love to do what you want right now. I just don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:Tony takes off his pants. You're like oh.
Speaker 1:God, I mean, I'm putting on sweatshorts afterwards.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Taking off your jeans because you don't want to be uncomfortable for five minutes.
Speaker 1:It's tough, what a tough life we lead. So he says okay.
Speaker 2:And Viking ghost is like okay, I'm going to take you there, but don't kill the girl. So then we start on the trip and immediately two of the Vikings just decide randomly okay, we're going to throw, we're going to hurt this girl, we're going to throw the girl over a dead moose and we're going to rape her. And I'm just like tony, what is with it, with you picking all these rape movies?
Speaker 1:you're like oh, I did click flight risk. You're right, I was. I thought it was you for a second. No, I didn't. Um, yeah, I got a problem. I got a real problem, me and mark walmer got problems. Man, that movie was so wild okay. I'd rather watch Pathfinder again than watch that movie you texted me, by the way, about Flight Risk Plan whatever the fuck that name is that Mark Wahlberg improvised a bunch of those lines which just makes it so much worse.
Speaker 2:He's like where's your mind, mark? I just got talking about Rapin' Topher. He's just like you got a purdy mouth.
Speaker 1:Maybe let's do an exercise of some other motivations your character could have. Nah, nah, nah, nah. I just want to stick it right into Topher, I just want to put it in him.
Speaker 2:That's the only thing that my guy wants to do. This is the only way to properly elicit a reaction out of a man is tell him they're going to get raped. Stop no, so weird.
Speaker 1:God, I don't want to watch this. I love it. I don't know how it happened, Dan I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:What's his name? Ghost. They haven't tied him up again, so he just goes over there and beats the shit out of the two guys. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Which is totally fair. It's a deal I said don't hurt her. And here you are trying to hurt her a little bit.
Speaker 2:They get to the empty village because the people have left and the Vikings are all like, oh time to smash stuff.
Speaker 1:That's how you get out of your rage. You ever been to one of those break rooms, or whatever they're called, where you just get to go break stuff?
Speaker 2:Oh no, have you done that I've always wanted to try one of those. I don't think they do that anymore. I think that was the thing they did you think that's done?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think they did that 15 years ago.
Speaker 2:I don't think they do that, Because I'm sure people will show up and be like you're wasting all that good stuff that could be used.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:But I'm using.
Speaker 1:So they rest in the village even though they just spent like 15 minutes breaking it up.
Speaker 2:Ghost sees the little girl's doll that she dropped when they were leaving and he picks it up and he's all like aha, puts it in his trench coat and then, as they go a little further, he does a thing where he drops it surreptitiously and then they're all like you're taking us the wrong way and he's all like one of the other guys is like look at this, I found this doll.
Speaker 1:I found a doll, we're going the right way. Smart, great stuff.
Speaker 2:So they keep going them. Then they get to the lake and he's all like we should go around the lake and they're all like lake, we can handle lake ice. And they go on the lake and then it breaks, ice breaks.
Speaker 1:I'm a little confused. Don't Vikings deal with winter?
Speaker 2:I feel like they do. They sort of set up. The Pathfinder said that where these guys come from they don't have spring like we have spring.
Speaker 1:So the fact that it's half melty is the problem? Yeah, okay, that's the pitch I don't know, that's the catch.
Speaker 2:They did the Dan Goodsell line.
Speaker 1:that means you can say I I, but I was confused, but I guess that's because I'm from minnesota and then I was like I, you, can you take one? Look at that lake and you're like nope, let's, this ice is not three to five inches thick, we gotta get out of here. So you guys know exactly how thick ice is otherwise we're going through all the time because you know you want to go ice fishing.
Speaker 2:People are driving their trucks on the ice but I'm saying, you guys know when, when and when and when you can't, you always just you have to know how old.
Speaker 1:You gotta know because you'd be dead.
Speaker 2:How old would you have been? How old would you have been when you figured out how to?
Speaker 1:know that, who me, you know.
Speaker 2:24 no, like a real, like a real most people like a real guy.
Speaker 1:Oh yo, you do it young. Otherwise'm telling you, man, there's a lot of lakes, there's a lot of ponds.
Speaker 2:You'd be dead. I'm talking like a normal kid, not a smart kid. Like a normal kid, when would they know?
Speaker 1:Let me think about my friends.
Speaker 2:All right, Let me go back in time, let me think under 10. It is one of those things you learn because it's important. It comes into play regularly in your life, even a city boy like you.
Speaker 1:My brother just flooded his own backyard to make a little ice rink. Every day they'd go out there and just be tested a little bit. They're like, okay, now it's good. A week later it's like, well, we can't go. Then, you know, a couple days later it's like, okay, it's good again. You know you just, they would know you, just live with it so he baits them on the ice.
Speaker 2:A bunch of them die. He disappears did he bait them on the ice yeah, he was reverse psychology he totally reverse psychology so like we should go around and they're're all like no, we're.
Speaker 1:Vikings, let's not do what the guy that's leading us wants to do. Okay, idiots.
Speaker 2:Well, no, but they actually did do the things they're supposed to. Because then they say he's just trying to lead us that way to slow us down?
Speaker 1:I know?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I remember.
Speaker 1:I remember it all. So they did the right lines. It's just it's too late, You've? I mean we are 80, 80 minutes into this 90 minute movie.
Speaker 2:So then they go around the ice, and then let's see, and then we're up in the avalanche zone. Right, yeah, yeah. So we're up in the avalanche zone. Somehow he has convinced them to go on the little ridge. That's 12 inches wide. And then one guy falls off, and then the big boss what is the faithful words? He tells everybody Tie yourselves together. Has that ever worked?
Speaker 1:I was going to ask you the same same question because it's not the first time I've seen this maneuver, but I'm always always confused. Yeah, because if one guy goes down, the next guy's gonna go down ostensibly you, you tie yourself to your partner.
Speaker 2:You know, like when you're, when you're actually climbing, you might be tied to one person right, and so those two people. If that guy makes a mistake, I'm still locked in.
Speaker 1:I can save him. Hopefully, maybe yeah.
Speaker 2:But tying everybody together is just like that, is a domino effect.
Speaker 1:That you know is going to happen, but I do want to see and maybe this has happened, but I want to see the one guy. So there's eight people in a row, right, and they're all tied together, seven of them fall off and it's just one guy just pulling them all back up. That'd be a fun scene.
Speaker 2:They tried to do that. They did that for a second.
Speaker 1:See, all right, there you go.
Speaker 2:There's a little bit of it In this movie you're saying Remember that. Yeah, there was a point at which one guy, there was like three guys, and then there was a fourth guy and he's all like ah, sure, sure, well, you win some, you lose some. So Carl has the girl attack him as a distraction and then he takes a piece of leather off there and starts to act like he's whipping her. But instead he's tied a rock to the leather and then he throws it, hits the guy in the back of the line.
Speaker 1:This is a long ways for him to throw this rock. He's good. This is incredible. You know what would have been nice If we had seen him do that earlier in the movie. Maybe one time you know what I mean Just to be like, oh cool, that's a cool skill that's going to come in handy later. Nope, just comes out of nowhere he can do anything.
Speaker 2:He can pick up now it is carl urban I don't need to ask you this question. I'm gonna ask you this question. Okay, yeah, does his the sword that he have changed hands like five or six times, and it seems like it, yeah, yeah, I don't think it's you. I, I, I don't know man, I got confused uh, she bites off a guy's ear, spits it out.
Speaker 2:Enjoyable sure sure and then people are falling and then there's a tree and then half number one is on one side of the tree and he's on the other side of the tree with rope. But there's also bonus guys down there who haven't fallen to their death, but the number two guy's also not fallen to.
Speaker 2:It's just like it's just this, endless and at a certain point he tells her to run and then she's like I'm not running, he's like he gotta run and she finally runs and then he goes. I know who I am, and we have the avalanche which leads to who I am, who I am, and we have the avalanche which leads to, which is just all stock footage of different mountains, as far as I can tell, because none of the shots look the same.
Speaker 2:I love it. And then eventually he ends up falling down, and then it ends up the number one bad guy is still down there and so then they fight, but he's, fine. Yeah.
Speaker 1:How far are they falling?
Speaker 2:Hold on a second. I was a little confused.
Speaker 1:Okay, I screwed up, I left out the most important thing of everything.
Speaker 2:Oh, you did At one point they are throwing rocks down at.
Speaker 1:Ghost.
Speaker 2:And I was like, there it is. That's the completion of the same movie as Conan, Because in Conan they rolled rocks down at people.
Speaker 1:Or bigger rocks. These are not as big rocks. Again, another lesson learned, right? He's like why didn't those rocks work? Because they were too small. I got to get bigger rocks. Then they're going to work Ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Eventually, the bad guy's about to get him and Carl Irvin goes off and does the old behind the back stab and stabs him and then you know, because he let him his strength lure him in or something, yeah, and he's all like, and so he's like on the precipice and he's holding him by the necklace, which which I assume was Pathfinder's necklace. Did he take that?
Speaker 1:from Pathfinder? I guess so, because he gives it to the lady at the end and they're like ah, pathfinder, so that must be the Pathfinder necklace, and he's all like give me a good sword death.
Speaker 2:and he's all like nope, I'm just gonna cut this and you're just gonna fall to your death and you got a bad death, asshole, aha, aha, yeah, um, there's, then there's even bigger avalanche. She goes home, then he also gets home and then they all touch him because he's now magic, I didn't get that part.
Speaker 2:The groping then I wasn't sure I didn't get it then she and him have a big hug, and then they, which is weird now that you've told me that in another cut they had sex in the cave, they should probably kiss, right?
Speaker 1:I mean, this is like a reuniting of lovers.
Speaker 2:I think it's kind of weird now um he gives her, uh, pathfinder's necklace, because she's gonna be the pathfinder's necklace, because she's going to be the pathfinder.
Speaker 1:And now they all bow to him like he is god I thought they were bowing to her because she's the pathfinder, but I guess that's not really like the leader of the claim. I don't know I don't know I don't know we we had a disagreement in my house about it too, because I was like, aren't they doing it to her? And and naomi was like I don't think so.
Speaker 2:I think this is a weird moment. They didn't touch her like that when she returned.
Speaker 1:They touched him. You can't just touch her body. That's not okay.
Speaker 2:This is 2007,. Tony, this was back when you could do anything. This was back when you could rape someone over a moose. Jeez, louise. And then it turns out that she's going to be the Pathfinder.
Speaker 1:Not that she did any Pathfindery things. Really, it would have been nice if she had done some Pathfindery things throughout this mission to help complete it.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because then it would also make sense why he's giving it to her. You know, maybe she saves him, maybe, and then he's like, wow, you should be the Pathfinder.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm still not one of you, exactly you know, yeah, maybe she's up there and she's the Pathfinder and she starts the avalanche, because she's all like I got to make, because she knows what's going on. She's like I'm sorry, I love you, but I have to do avalanche. And he's all like I love you. That's so smart, do avalanche.
Speaker 1:Do it, do it, do it, and then he's the guy that just hangs out on the beach and waits for more. Dragon Men to come, more people to show up. I'm like okay, and they never do I like that.
Speaker 2:No, we don't know.
Speaker 1:No, the ending was fine. The ending was fine.
Speaker 2:It might be five boats.
Speaker 1:One, three, five, all odd numbers. They don't do anything else. They don't believe in even numbers. Even numbers are bad luck.
Speaker 2:And that's the movie. Good job, Tony you always have to show me up with finding a worse movie by a director than I found. Oh, I could find a worse movie by that director, I'd just get something earlier in his career or much later in his career.
Speaker 1:You're right, let's find something better.
Speaker 2:Come on, I'm going to do it every week I was on Facebook or something and they were talking about Interstellar and they were like this movie doesn't make any sense and it's terrible, but it's the greatest movie ever.
Speaker 1:That doesn't make sense, guys Stop. We'll do some more Christopher Nolan. Someday We'll get back to it. I hope not.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess he will put out more movies.
Speaker 1:So we will be doing more Christopher Nolan. We're definitely not doing Oppenheimer, because I'm not going to sit for nine hours to watch a movie.
Speaker 2:I mean it's probably going to be a good movie with a bunch of Christopher Nolan stuff that you're just like. Maybe you could cut this all out. Sure, that's what I think that movie is Because what's his name is going to be good Cillian Murphy. Yeah, yeah, he's great. And what's her name's in there, white Widow? She's in there, very small White Widow In the Marvel Universe. Uh, what's her name? That plays, uh, black widow's sister?
Speaker 1:uh, no, it's her name, she's not in there she's in florence, pew oh, I didn't even realize that she was in the marvel universe. We, uh, we have fallen off the marvel universe big time you haven't watched the thunderbolts trailer. No, and I love Uh-oh.
Speaker 2:What's his?
Speaker 1:name.
Speaker 2:The guy that plays Red Guardian. Yeah, yeah, gran Turismo he's in the ghost movie Hell boy, but you haven't watched the trailer.
Speaker 1:You can't spend two minutes to go.
Speaker 2:I would have watched that trailer because I'm against the Marvel Universe. I'm not against it. Every nerdy fanboy.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. I feel like we did it. We did it for like 20 years. Guys, let's do something else. Let's try DC. Just kidding, it's going to be worse.
Speaker 2:You would watch all the new DC movies, wouldn't you? Yeah?
Speaker 1:I'm going to Absolutely Well, maybe not all of them.
Speaker 2:Because that's the thing You're a DC stan. That's what it is You're a stan for DC.
Speaker 1:That's true, but I also hate Suicide Squad Wait.
Speaker 2:Which one?
Speaker 1:did James Gunn do Suicide Squad? Yeah, hate Suicide.
Speaker 2:Squad Guardians of the Galaxy. Did you watch the Creature Commandos?
Speaker 1:We did.
Speaker 2:We have problems I watched the first one and I was like yeah, okay no, there we there.
Speaker 1:We hate a lot of the things that they did there. He's also in it, by the way, the same guy that I can't remember his name. Did you watch the peacemaker tv? No, no, we never watched peacemaker. Yeah, I don't know what about it. I'm definitely wary. I love the Superman trailer.
Speaker 2:So just hold now Hope. What about John Cena's heel turn at the WWE?
Speaker 1:Great stuff, right? Oh fun, man. My nephews are getting into wrestling. Oh, finally, so it's a family affair now. It's great, I love it.
Speaker 2:Okay, Now we're going to talk about something we like. This week. I caught up on Severance so I watched. Oh yeah, I watched your season Six and a half episodes in two days. I think that's pretty good. It's brilliant.
Speaker 1:It is Still good. Yeah, we haven't watched anything from the new one.
Speaker 2:I would say it's a completely different show, in my opinion about what it's about Interesting.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Cool. I mean, I remember the first one. It was lots of weird stuff and you were like this is all very interesting, but this season is really putting characters through some really interesting situations with the concept of what severance is, and I was just like, oh man, this is really interesting. You're having a good time, kind of like when Lost worked, you were like these are really interesting characters and I just want to see where these characters go.
Speaker 1:You mean for the full run, when it worked for the full run every episode. Yeah, I know what you're saying.
Speaker 2:I enjoy Alice and JD generally, but she played a character that someone else should have played. That character, okay, so did that. And also we watched Long Legs.
Speaker 1:Oh, how's Long Legs.
Speaker 2:It's entertaining. Okay, it's not like you don't walk out of it going like oh wow, this is new stuff we've never seen before. You're like well, they wrapped it up, beautiful cinematography.
Speaker 1:Just beautiful. Oh, that'll be worth it. Great that. And Nick Cage.
Speaker 2:Editing, great production, design, great sound. You're just like Okay, it's like you watch Pathfinder. You're just like everything is a slog. Every cut is a slog, every interaction, every line written is a slog and you're just like, okay, you know this other movie super interesting it's a movie. It's a movie. There's performances, there are all these things that you can think about and care about. Well, tony, what do you got for us?
Speaker 1:well, so this is first of all. I re-watched dread and I was going to bring that up again because it's lovely. What a movie. Yeah, it's perfect, and it's like think about Dread, it's murky.
Speaker 2:You can't see what's going on, but, man, you know what every character's going through. You lock them down in that building. You're like this is where the movie's going to take place.
Speaker 1:What a great story. Device right. It's smart, it's really good stuff.
Speaker 2:You never worry about. You know there's the outside, there's the inside. We know that things are going to be going on in both and you know, like this movie, you're like stupid Pathfinder, where are they? How much time has passed? How much this, how much that I don't know anything. You're like. You're like I know what's happening I know what the goals are, and it's great yeah, uh, so that.
Speaker 1:And then we also started, uh, the peacock show laid and uh, it's, it's, it's good, it's good. It's not great, but we're enjoying it. We're gonna finish it. You know it's good there. It is, that's it. That's why I brought two, because I was like I'm not in love with, with the new thing, but it's, it's good. We also watched um, that new the garden society show oh, what is that?
Speaker 1:nbc, I know, but it was terrible. I hated it. Uh, we're not gonna watch. We watched the pilot and we were both like, nah, not for us. Um, I don't know, it's just weird. It's just weird. Show people. I think people are liking it, so maybe give it a shot, um, but it's on, it's just on after suits, la. So we're just like let's give it a shot how was suits la episode two?
Speaker 1:you know, dan, it's different, it's we, so let's talk about it. So the first episode is like too much, right, they crammed a bunch of stuff. It's like this should be your season finale, oh wow.
Speaker 1:You know, like that's how much is going on. And then the second episode we drop 80% of it and just focus on, like this, one or two storylines, which is smart. But it just is so jarring after the first episode to slow down so much that you're just like, okay, are they going to? I think they're going to figure it out. I think I'm excited for episode three tomorrow and I think it's going to be good. I'll keep you posted. You should just watch the show, dan, because it needs numbers. It's not doing well, oh good.
Speaker 2:Is Megan Markle on it?
Speaker 1:No, thank God. Have you watched the new megan markle show?
Speaker 2:no, she's got a new show. What does she do?
Speaker 1:reality show I think is out. Oh, she does. No, I'm not a fan. Okay, well, maybe she's good at it.
Speaker 2:No, I think she's terrible at it, she's okay, I think she's just putting stuff on plates. I I'm gonna have to watch an episode of it.
Speaker 1:She's just putting stuff on plates. I'm going to have to watch an episode of it.
Speaker 2:She's just the plater Okay, great, great stuff. Okay, well, we need a new movie, we need none of this, yeah, something fresh 2007. Well, I'm picking a movie that's not even out yet.
Speaker 1:How's that going to work, because it comes out on Friday. Oh, okay, great.
Speaker 2:On Netflix.
Speaker 1:Oh jeez, I'm going to have to get Netflix again. Oh yeah, you don't have.
Speaker 2:Netflix. You're going to have to get Netflix again. It's tough luck. You have to watch this movie Just a month.
Speaker 1:It's fine.
Speaker 2:Starring your favorite, Millie Bobby Brown.
Speaker 1:Is this the Chris Pratt, movie? Oh, no, dan.
Speaker 2:This is the Russo Brothers, the directors of the most-. Oh, really the most money yes, because the Russo brothers did all the I didn't know that. Avengers movies right, yeah, yeah, I was thinking that last Avengers movie where they do the time heist Now is that whole first of the movie, like them going back and meeting Tony Stark's dad and shit and then they go to the future and then they fight thanos. Is that what happens in that movie? Kind of? I don't think they go to the future, they go to the past.
Speaker 2:I mean they go to the past because they have to steal the the gems before they get, then yes, yeah, that's what happens yeah, I think the first half of that movie is just really corny and bad, and then this battle at the second half I found very enjoyable sure?
Speaker 1:well, the first half is a lot of fan service. You know it happens right, I don't know, but it's good. And then, you know, then it's sad at the end and it's nice. It's a nice emotional journey.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, so the Russo's brothers have made this, not the Russo's brothers? The Russo's Wait, the Russo wait. Yes, the Russo's brothers have made this movie, electric State, following on the Gray man, which you haven't seen, which I did watch.
Speaker 1:I haven't seen and it was.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then this is their new thing.
Speaker 1:Electric State. I'm interested to see Millie Bobby Brown do something, because I did not watch Damsel. Did you watch Damsel? That was almost something I picked for this show. Maybe I still will.
Speaker 2:I don't God. I feel like maybe I watched the first few minutes of it and was thinking about it and then I just never got around to it. I watched the first one, where she plays Sherlock Holmes' sister.
Speaker 1:Oh, enola Holmes, Enola Holmes. Yeah, there you go it was okay, didn't bother me. Well sure Superman's in it, so that's great yeah.
Speaker 2:Uh, didn't ever get to the second one.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:She's in the King Kong Godzilla movies.
Speaker 1:I don't think she's.
Speaker 2:I don't think she's beyond terrible. Okay, I liked the last two ones. I really liked. I found them really enjoyable. The first, king Kong versus Godzilla. I think I really enjoyed it. I haven't seen the new, new one. And then the Monarch thing with Kurt Russell and his kid. Yeah, I watched some of that. It was kind of weird. Sure, but we're going to watch Electric State.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's figure it out.
Speaker 2:The critics aren't liking it, so I have high hopes. Perfect, but maybe it'll be good.
Speaker 1:And we saw the trailer and they make Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch choke in the trailer.
Speaker 2:So I'm in. I read one of the reviews, just a little snippet. The guy was like never left once, didn't even crack a smile for the entire thing. So I'm like, oh, that bodes.
Speaker 1:well, that bodes well for something that's supposed to be a comedy, oh boy, okay. Well, chris Pratt did. I guess we'll see Chris.
Speaker 2:Pratt used to do comedy on the television.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not a show that I ever watched, but I'm sure people liked it. I watched him in Everwood, which was not a comedy. What's Everwood? It's a teen soap about, uh uh, a dad bringing his two kids after they lose their mom to like a place in Colorado that she really always wanted to live, and it's just about the family drama. About the kid, it doesn't matter, it's a great show.
Speaker 2:I thought you were going to say it was about erections.
Speaker 1:Did I say something close to erection? That's what I expected you to say. It's a show mostly about erections who gets them, how long they get them, what they do with them.
Speaker 2:You know, Okay, so we'll be back next week talking about Electric State, if you like what we do, because it's Everwood. I didn't get your joke.
Speaker 1:I didn't get your joke. That's funny, great job.
Speaker 2:Leave us a comment, give us a thumbs up. We got a crypto scam comment. Hey, that's how you know. You've made it.
Speaker 1:Don't click on it, everybody.
Speaker 2:Really like your thing, but if you need help purchasing crypto, I'm your guy, I do need help purchasing crypto.
Speaker 1:I'll look you up, brother. I need it. I deleted this thing.
Speaker 2:So we'll be back next week talking about Electric State. There it is.
Speaker 1:Goodbye everybody. Hey watch it With Dan and Tony. Hey watch it With Dan and Tony. It's like watching yeah.