Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Poolman
What do you get when you mix a Scottish honeymoon burglary, a Nintendo DS heist, and Chris Pine's directorial ambitions? A rollercoaster episode of "Hey Watch It with Dan and Tony!" We kick off with Dan's personal tale of a honeymoon gone awry in the scenic lands of Scotland, leading us into a chat about Chris Pine's debut, "Poolman." Critics may have thrown shade, but we stir the pot by suggesting it might just outshine the Coen Brothers' classics, even the sacred cow, "The Big Lebowski" (which we might call overrated).
From Pine to Coen, our discussion zigzags through the beloved filmography of Fargo's creators. Tony can't help but throw some shade on "Fargo" itself—blame those Minnesotan roots! We exchange blows over our favorites, from the hilarity of "Burn After Reading" to the misfires like "Hail Caesar." Amidst this cinematic battlefield, "Poolman" emerges as a breath of fresh air, free from cynicism, much like the joyous "Fired Up." We can't help but celebrate those films that whisk us away from life's daily grind.
As we cruise through L.A.'s filmmaking maze, we scrutinize the narrative potholes in "Poolman," from perplexing plot twists to character motivations that take a wrong turn. But fear not, as we lighten the mood with quirky password anxieties and a nod to Melissa McCarthy's comedic ventures. It's a smorgasbord of film critique, personal tidbits, and future episode sneak peeks—all wrapped up in our usual banter. So grab your metaphorical popcorn and join us for another wild ride!
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We had somebody say that they liked our show. Were they being?
Speaker 2:sarcastic.
Speaker 1:No, no, he's in Scotland.
Speaker 2:Scotland, Scotland. I love the Scots. Oh freedom. Yeah, it's good stuff.
Speaker 1:Why do they yell that I don't understand.
Speaker 2:That's from Braveheart. Oh, is it? What the hell, dan? What's wrong? What are you? Nuts Went to Scotland for our honeymoon. I don't know if you remember that we got burgled in our Airbnb.
Speaker 1:Did you? I don't remember that.
Speaker 2:Oh, you don't remember. Yeah, we went out for the day Totally our fault, by the way, we're pretty sure because there was a balcony door or a patio door, I guess is the right word that locked. But it locked weird and you had to like turn the handle up or something, I don't know. But we went outside in the morning and I I think we didn't lock it all the way and we left and we came back, tried to open the the main door, and the chain was on and we're like well, that's weird, we didn't. How would we put the chain on?
Speaker 2:And like it took me a couple seconds to be like, oh shit, someone's in the house and they're burglaring on. And then I saw someone run by to the back patio so I left my wife, which is a you never do that. Listen, guys, don't leave your wife. But I left my wife and ran after the guy and he was just way faster than me, so he got away and uh, and then he took all our stuff. He took my pokemon diamond, which I had put like 200 hours into, and he stole my nintendo ds. I was livid.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Ain't Watching With Dan and Tony. I am Dan, I'm Tony, and we're the guys that watch the movies that are not that old and then offer our barbed critiques of said movies.
Speaker 2:Barbed as in like, with little barbs like roses.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, A barb is like you know, like this is bad, this is bad.
Speaker 2:Jab jab, jab, jab, jab, jab you jab away, Got it Jab and barbs.
Speaker 1:Jabs and barbs, and this week Tony got to pick a movie, a fairly contemporary movie.
Speaker 2:Tony, why don't you tell a?
Speaker 1:little bit about the movie.
Speaker 2:Well, so this debuted Last year at the Toronto International Film Festival and just a Disastrous response. People walked out of the movie, the screening People were like mocking it in the movie theater. I watched some interviews of people that were there and they were like this it in the movie theater. I've watched some interviews of people that were there and they were like this is the weirdest professional experience of my life.
Speaker 2:It is for some reason it's so hated. There were reviews saying it's the worst movie that's premiered at a real film festival in the past like 20 years, for people hate it. Uh, it is, of course, chris pine's directorial debut pool man 2023 hour and 40 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, nice and tight did he write this?
Speaker 2:he co-wrote it, I believe. I believe he had a partner, but yeah, yeah he, he was in all facets of it.
Speaker 1:The problem with this movie? It's very simple. What the problem with this movie is. It wants to be a Coen Brothers movie. That's it.
Speaker 2:And here's what I agree. That is exactly right. But my counterpoint to that point is that the Coen Brothers are overrated. Garbage is that, the Coen brothers are overrated garbage, and so I actually prefer this movie to everything they have ever done. But I agree with you Most people, when they're looking at it, are like, well, this is just. I mean, it's a ripoff of Lebowski. It's a ripoff. You know what I mean? Like there's a couple of things that it's in. I, on the other hand, I'm like, yeah, but like the Big Lebowski, horrible film, hate it. It's not a horrible film, I do hate it, I think. Personally, to me it's trash, it's unwatchable. I hate that movie, this movie totally watchable.
Speaker 1:Now, do you hate Fargo?
Speaker 2:I have a very strong dislike for Fargo. However, it stems from the Minnesotan in me which is like, first of all Fargo, not even Minnesota, right, and they blur these state lines that should never be crossed and it bothers me, I don't know why. So I'm anti-Fargo for that reason. Only seen it once, only thing I remember is the terrible accent and a wood chipper.
Speaker 1:Those are the only two things I remember from Fargo. There is a wood chipper.
Speaker 2:However, the TV show good.
Speaker 1:Do they blur the lines in the TV show Tony?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I'm kind of 20 years ago, it's like, because they're basing it on the movie that already did it. So it's not their sin that they're committing you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so they're allowed to do that sin now, because you're not the young buck you once were with your anger.
Speaker 2:It's like double jeopardy, right Like you can't be charged for the sins of the crime committed before you know. Oh so, since this movie Is is, I feel like that's what it is. Maybe I'm wrong.
Speaker 1:It's kind of a double jeopardy means you can't be tried for a crime you've already been tried for yeah, which is so I'm obviously bending that a little bit, but it was close yeah, so they. You know, if you get acquitted of murder of someone, they can't just keep trying you again and again and again for that same murder to try and get the outcome that the prosecutor wants.
Speaker 2:For sure, for sure.
Speaker 1:So no, you were using it wrong, but like close.
Speaker 2:I was within the realm of double jeopardy.
Speaker 1:I don't think there's a word for that. Okay, so you hate the coen brothers raising arizona?
Speaker 2:you didn't like raising arizona so I do like raising arizona, but I think it's only because of nick cage I think it's only because of nick cage wait a second raising.
Speaker 1:There's a number of other people john goodman, the two brothers that crawl out of the prison. You like him, holly Hunter. You didn't like her in the movie. Eh, wow, listen to you, holly Hunter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. Let's go down the list right. Fargo we talked about Big Lebowski's trash. Oh Brother, where Art Thou? I hate that movie. I hate it so much. Such a good movie. Lady Killers, blech Awful it was not that good. Worst Tom Hanks movie ever right. No Country for Old Men Boring. Oh, I did like Burn After Reading. That was fun.
Speaker 1:No Country for Old Men. I don't like that movie With what's his name, sugar. You didn't like that movie. I don't like it.
Speaker 2:I've only seen all of these once, wow, except for Burn, after Reading Brad Pitt's fun. Jk Simmons is fun. I like that. Movie Inside Llewyn Davis is is very, very personal film that made me cry a lot. Hail Caesar, garbage, absolute trash, and the Ballad of Buster Scruggs what a waste of time, just awful, yeah. So I think they're overrated. I don't think they're very talented. I don't like anything they do Anyhow. So Pool man Wow.
Speaker 1:Here's the difference. So this is a movie that is completely based on the oeuvre of the Coen brothers, and they've created this movie, which is attempting to do what the Coen brothers movie does, but it's not.
Speaker 2:And Tony likes it, because here's why the Coen brothers dripping with cynicism, that's like their thing, right, it's all about. And Pool man is the opposite. Pool man is the Big Lebowski, without cynicism. He is pure joy, right, like he's a simple happy guy. He's not. He doesn't have that negativity that the Coen brothers bring to everything, and that was the difference. To me it's like it's the Coen brothers. But what if they weren't miserable dish bags?
Speaker 1:You know Well that's what this is all about. I'm coming in hot today and I'm not sure why I apologize. That's what this is all about. I'm sure they're very lovely gentlemen, I apologize.
Speaker 2:That's what this is all about. I'm sure they're very lovely gentlemen. I apologize.
Speaker 1:Tony wants to walk into the cinema and lower himself into a warm bath and be lovingly cradled by the movie. Why?
Speaker 2:wouldn't you want to see a movie about joy? You know what I mean. One of my favorite movies Fired Up, pure joy, you know.
Speaker 1:I thought that was about a couple of pervs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but they're happy pervs. Oh okay, they're living their dream man. They're going to cheer camp and scoring with hot, hot ladies.
Speaker 1:I just think we already did that movie and I'll never have to watch that movie again. It makes me warm inside Makes you sad.
Speaker 2:You miss it. You should watch it again.
Speaker 1:Probably not, Although there were a lot of attractive ladies in that movie. So this movie yeah, it's someone that has watched the Coen brothers and is trying to do it, and the other thing is the Big Lebowski, I think is a take on the Big Sleep, which is a movie you've never seen.
Speaker 2:I've never even heard of it.
Speaker 1:Just as this movie is a take on Chinatown Chinatown yeah yeah. Now, have you ever seen Chinatown?
Speaker 2:I mean, I saw Chinatown, probably in college, probably for, like, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So you have seen it.
Speaker 2:I've seen it, not since, and I will say that I appreciate that they tell you over and over that this is that this is like a love letter to chinatown yeah, um yeah, so that's interesting.
Speaker 1:Um yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 2:it's a choice, it's. It's a choice, it's something.
Speaker 1:It's a choice.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I guess we'll just talk about this movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's talk about it. I've already been mean, and now we should be nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we meet our guy. His name is Darren or Dar. He is Chris Pine, with long hair and a beard and a lot of weird outfit choices.
Speaker 2:He lives in a trailer on the lot of a motel that has a pool and then he is sort of obsessed personally with that pool sort of yeah, now is he the man, not the manager, but the handyman of the hotel, maybe? No, no, it's confusing why he's there and why, like, is he just the? Is he the pool man, or has he dubbed himself a pool man, you know?
Speaker 1:I think they let him be the pool man.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, sure, but that doesn't really make you a pool man. You know, I think they let him be the pool man. Okay, yeah, sure, but that doesn't really make you a pool man. You know what?
Speaker 1:I mean you. You would have expected him to do a few more pools in this movie yeah, like if that was your job, I would.
Speaker 2:I would expect that. Yeah, because one pool cleaning doesn't pay for shit. You gotta gotta be cleaning two, three pools a day to make a living as a pool man.
Speaker 1:He doesn't have a lot of overhead.
Speaker 2:How much does the land cost to live at the motel?
Speaker 1:Nothing.
Speaker 2:Oh, you think so.
Speaker 1:His girlfriend's the manager of the motel.
Speaker 2:So Susan is the manager of the hotel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, his girlfriend. They say that in this movie that you say you were watching. So Susan is the manager of the hotel? Yeah, his girlfriend. They say that in this movie that you say you were watching.
Speaker 2:But you may have been watching a very different movie. You see, there's cynicism happening already. You're bringing too much of it into the pool man, pool man, joyful. I was a little confused for a lot of the movie.
Speaker 1:This movie and, like the Big Sleep and like Chinatown, you're kind of confused as to what's going on. And since he's trying to sort of they're trying to sort of play off the motifs of this earlier movie, they don't really set a lot of parameters. They don't set a lot of movie parameters and we like movie parameters right.
Speaker 2:You have to as humans.
Speaker 1:When the person walks up and gives him the case he's going to have to deal with, we want to understand what that case is.
Speaker 2:But not only do I want to understand what the case is, I want to know why they're coming to him for that case.
Speaker 1:Well, we know why. The person who's bringing him the case knows why, and so we, as the audience, know why. Right, because he's, he's, he's the rube. And so you, you, you, he's the guy. Why does he?
Speaker 2:accept it, then you know what I mean. Because there is that fun moment where he's like I'm not really qualified, can I get back to you? And it's like, well, why?
Speaker 1:why, and like the next scene, he has an epiphany about the whole tree thing and then he decides to take it because you have to have the movie go forward he does have a tree tree epiphany yeah, so the the problem with this movie is the. The goals are so ill-defined. They're, they're, they're, they're presented to you as if they're defined goals, but they're so ill-defined that you're never quite sure how anyone is doing it. You're never sure why he's doing something or how he knows something or what.
Speaker 2:Yeah, as an actor you're always like what's my motivation for the scene which I hate and that's dumb, whatever. But as a character I do want to know motivations a little bit and I was just I got it was all very murky to me. Just every everyone in this movie is a little bit murky, because I don't. I don't know if anyone's clearly defined yeah, what's his name is?
Speaker 1:Turanowski is.
Speaker 2:Which one is that?
Speaker 1:The head of the city council.
Speaker 2:Oh, Stephen Toblowski.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's great.
Speaker 2:Toblowski, how do I say?
Speaker 1:his name. I know what the character's name is. I don't care. Okay, well, actor's names don't really mean anything. Who cares they're?
Speaker 2:just actors. That's fair, you're right.
Speaker 1:It's the role that is what matters.
Speaker 2:Yes, of course, when they're all dead, it's the role.
Speaker 1:All the useless actors are dead. The roles will continue and that's what will be important.
Speaker 2:Sadly, you're correct.
Speaker 1:Okay, so our guy is ill-defined. The goals are ill-defined, what people want is ill-defined, who the people are is ill-defined, and we have lines that sort of move the. You know if you put a flow chart out there there's lines that move everything forward.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, no, that's how they made the movie. For sure is they had a big board and they were like this needs to happen in this scene to motivate this, to motivate this and this, and it's like we don't really need to fill in those gaps. You just need to hit this one thing that moves it along.
Speaker 1:Yes, and so at certain times you know we're doing the overlapping dialogue and we're dumping all this sort of dialogue, and a lot of it just doesn't hit to every everybody's sort of in their own movie, in a sense in this movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that can. It can work. It didn't.
Speaker 2:That part did not work for me I don't know if it works when everyone is in a different movie. You know, like when one person is, it can be fun. Add a little color and add a little like what is this person doing here? I'm so intrigued. But when everyone kind of feels chaotic within this world, it's too much. It's too much. I think maybe Chris shouldn't have acted in his first directorial experience, his character is the weakest of the characters. I think. Just because, and yet, still very funny.
Speaker 1:I mean, he's, he's fine, but he has to, he has to go a lot of distance. So at one point in the movie he, he, he's breaking up with his girlfriend or losing his girlfriend, and he has to go from losing his girlfriend to to being okay with it, like in the course of like 90 seconds, and you're just like there's a lot of whiplashy kind of things where you're like we need to.
Speaker 1:We're resetting the whole, this whole relationship right here and yeah, and then we have to move on with the plot and it's like we didn't need to reset that. You know, we we could have like maybe let a character exist in a space for a little, let it breathe a little sure, but we don't, we don't do that no, no, no, we gotta go.
Speaker 2:This isn't about characters, right?
Speaker 1:this is about a mystery and it should have been about characters and it shouldn't have been about a mystery.
Speaker 2:Well there, is one well-defined character in the movie that we haven't mentioned, and that is, of course, los angeles. Oh, this is I'm. I am convinced. Chris pine loves los angeles, which is endearing but also kind of weird. I think I think he grew up here, because I think his dad was in the biz. I think, okay, I should have done a little research before I just throw stuff out, but I'm pretty sure that he grew up around it, so I he probably has a different view than a lot of us that are very jaded now. Uh, and he just has. It seems like a pure love for the city, and I, you know I appreciate that, but I also wonder how that feels, not knowing much about los angeles. You know what I mean, like as an outsider. Do you care? Are you annoyed? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, it becomes at a certain point like the SNL sketch.
Speaker 2:The Valley thing. 405 to the 105, to the 10 to the yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I had it in my brain and then it disappeared.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I talked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but there's a whole sketch that they have where it's just people from Los Angeles that are talking about. You know where they have to drive to get from one point to another, which is how Los Angeles is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's very funny when you're in on the joke. Yeah, I just I don't know how those things land when you're not in on the joke, because Los Angeles is already very siloed, very clicky, and I think people you know in in this part of the country look down on Los Angeles as they should, because we're all a bunch of elite douchebags. So I just wonder, when that's also thrown in your face, how that feels. I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's too much. Yeah, um, he has this one running bit about descanso gardens that he has. I've got tickets to descanso gardens now dan hold on.
Speaker 2:Let me sorry you're finished because I have a question.
Speaker 1:I have to insult you about this. Okay, I'm so sorry. I interrupted.
Speaker 2:Please, please, continue with the insult. How dare I?
Speaker 1:He continues to hit this as if it means something like four, maybe five times, and it's a classic Tony bit where the audience doesn't laugh the first time or the second time or the third time or the fourth time. And then the show is over and everybody goes home and it's like what was with that guy in the Descanso.
Speaker 2:Gardens. Every once in a while, you hit it right at the end and it comes around. And when you win them over, dan. It makes all of the times you don't win them over worth it, because then you can be like, yeah you idiot, it was you, you were the problem, not me, so it's worth it.
Speaker 1:So maybe chris pine directing his first movie and and not realizing that the descanso gardens just wasn't, it just never worked I thought it was pretty funny did you really?
Speaker 2:um, yeah, how about that?
Speaker 1:no, you did not you did not laugh bigger each time. He said you did not. No, but I think I laughed once. Well.
Speaker 2:You did not. No, but I think I laughed once.
Speaker 1:Well, there it is.
Speaker 2:I think I did. I think I laughed once. I have a question Is it because I also say Descanso Gardens, but he's saying Descanso the whole movie? It doesn't matter to me. Was that funny, was or?
Speaker 1:is that correct? Oh, I have no idea.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Or is that correct? Oh, I have no idea, I don't know. I think part of me wasn't laughing at any of those jokes, because I was genuinely confused. I was like is he saying it as like a funny character pronunciation of a word? Have I been saying it wrong for 12 years? I don't know. And so then I was deep into that thought. I wrote down four notes, and that's one of the notes I wrote down is how do I spell or how do I say, descanso Gardens? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Descanso, Descanso. I think it's Descanso Gardens.
Speaker 2:I think so too. Descanso sounds dumb, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Sounds different, but I did not even notice that he was saying it different. It didn't just bounce off me Because I knew what he was talking about, and so I had, like my brain, just skipped over his bit. Sure, yeah, you know like oh yeah, it's a bit Okay bit and I think that says everything about the movie. That bit kind of says everything. That's. My problem with the movie is he doesn't ever really move in and rest inside of the thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you may hate Coen Brothers movies I do but those characters go and they will sit in the characters. Jerry Lundegaarden, when he's doing the VIN numbers on the paper, he's doing that. He is sitting there, you know, scratching those numbers in there. You know, when the two killers are driving in the car, they're driving in the car and you're like you're in their existence, like a true existence to me that it felt like I need to get all of this out, all of this out, as opposed to really like. You know, when you have the iguana talking and you have the tree and he's obsessed over the tree, he's crying over the tree. I'm like this is too much. There's just too much. You know, make him obsessed with aaron brockovich and lose all this tree stuff, because none of these weird, none of the psycho threads ever come together, because each individual one isn't given enough time to really rest in them.
Speaker 2:Well, it's only an hour 40 minutes plus your credits, so really, it's what? Hour 35? I mean, there's not a ton of room to live in it because we also have this unraveling mystery that is, I don't know, wild. I guess it has a lot of locations. Yeah, they're running all over Los Angeles talking about how pretty it is.
Speaker 1:So he pulls out the Walkman, he's testing the chlorine, he's listening to opera, he puts on bicycle gloves, he, you know, zenly moves it across the thing when there are no leaves. You know it's like, yeah, it doesn't feel like pool cleaning, it feels like you'd be like. You know it looks good it. It feels like artifice. It doesn't feel like he is existing in this thing. Right, he needed to have like a real one-hour routine of cleaning this pool, of getting in and scrubbing the sides and let's see this. But you know he wants to make this dance of running the scoop.
Speaker 1:He just skims the top. Pick up one leaf, you know. And there's no trees Right, you know, I want to see like a hamburger wrapper go, you know he'll wake. Know, and there's no trees. So right, you know, I want to see like a hamburger wrapper go, you know he'll wake up.
Speaker 2:There's a hamburger wrapper, because that's what would happen, like in this run down area it would be trash. There'd be trash. There are no trees, there's no trees. Right, we're in a drought, so the pool's already sus to me. I'm a little confused on that. Yep, because he's all. He's very like pro water and fighting about the drought a little, but then he's running this pool all the time.
Speaker 1:A pool which is evaporating?
Speaker 2:yes, very, yeah, very confusing to me. But also, the pool's not dirty at all. Nope, I don't know. It's just, I don't know it felt weird. I don't know I took's, just, I don't know it felt weird. I don't know, I took care of my pool. My dad would disagree, but I took care of my pool as a child growing up, like in high school and college. I would. I would you know, I'd put in the chemicals and I'd clean it and stuff, and I'm sure I didn't do it enough, okay, dad, but I still did. And it was always something to do, dad, but I still did it. It was always something to do. You know, like you know, the sides get, uh, some dirt on them and some rust some. So you gotta take the brush and go down. You know you skim the top, get the leaves, you clean out the skimmers, because you know moles and stuff get in there. Like there's a lot of stuff you can do because pools do get dirty.
Speaker 1:This pool wasn't dirty it wasn't dirty and it's weird, and his efforts didn't seem. It didn't see it feel like effort. I'll always, always remember I used to used to work for an art moving company and there was like this one big thing down in santa monica let me go santa monica and it was like this private foundation I don't remember what it was called and one day we were delivering a piece of artwork there and there was like the head guy I don't remember what it was called and one day we were delivering a piece of artwork there and there was like the head guy that worked there. Then he had the sub guy that worked there. They were both on their hands and knees in this giant space. Would you know, would I think it was wood floors and they were wiping, they were rubbing off every scuff mark from the day before this was this is.
Speaker 1:This does not need to be done. Yeah, 100, but they they were. This was a location where it was a cathedral to art and they wanted every. You know if you left us, you know they wanted perfect they, they, I'm sure they came out with the white paint and took care of every little mark every couple of days. That's what he was trying to say. This guy was yeah.
Speaker 2:I didn't feel it. I didn't feel it from the guy yeah. I agree.
Speaker 1:Which immediately we're meeting the guy. We need to believe this part of him. I didn't believe it.
Speaker 2:I agree 100%. The only thing that I will say is he looked good without a shirt.
Speaker 1:And he wore those terrible shorts all the time. Oh God, I hated those shorts so much. Stupid short shorts.
Speaker 2:I loved them. He looks great. That's all that matters.
Speaker 1:So he does some underwater meditation. He has a typewriter. I think every day or every other day or every week.
Speaker 2:I think it's every day.
Speaker 1:Every day he sends a letter to Anna Brockovich. She should have been in the movie Just saying.
Speaker 2:Maybe they didn't have enough money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Then he has sex with his girlfriend Susan, and then they start talking, and then they they talk at cross purposes. She's interested in moving the relationship forward. He's not. He's working on a documentary. She dated a guy named samir, who's dead don't did that. That plot line I did not under, did not begin to understand.
Speaker 2:Chicken Samir is dead, that's I don't know, I guess it's very strange. And there's when she you know, spoiler alert when she starts going with Wayne or whatever she is like. Before we do anything, I want to make sure you have room in your heart for Samir.
Speaker 1:I was so confused on what's happening Because she was still in love with Samir, who's dead, a character we never met and we don't quite Well, he's dead, dan, he's a dead guy. We barely understand anything about this character, you know, and I mean, that's the thing about this movie is.
Speaker 1:You know, you could do a second movie where it's just her and her. You know what she's going through and it's like, well, but I don't want to see that movie. Yeah, they're not going to make a sequel. Yeah, uh, she leaves. He gets a package, it's a calendar. He puts the calendar up. Uh, he's helping. So day devito is jack or jackie. And then, uh, what's her name? Is diane jackie, diane um annette benny little diddy, who's amazing?
Speaker 1:She's amazing. And they're packing up the trunk and they go to the city council. Devito's filming. He's fighting to bring back the red trolley or to change the bus system, or I don't know.
Speaker 2:Why, don't know? Does he ride the bus? He doesn't seem to ride it. Don't know. Why don't know he doesn't. Does he ride the bus? He doesn't seem to ride it.
Speaker 1:Don't know they needed it. To make it one thing sure yeah, one thing is great it should have been the red trolley.
Speaker 1:The red trolley has to come back. Boom. Then we're like, okay, we understand, but he's, he's, he's throwing out seven things and we're just like like I don't understand. And then this guy, wayne, shows up and he brought him coffee, and then he flirts with Diane, and then there's these two Miami Vice guys sitting behind them, and then Toronowski is the head of the city council and he and Dar are in conflict. They butt heads.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why.
Speaker 1:Because he comes and wants something that we don't understand.
Speaker 2:I understand why the head guy would be annoyed. Right, because this guy just clearly comes down every week or month or whenever you hold these meetings, and just talks over his time and annoys everybody. I, I don't know, I don't know, I, I don't know, man, I'm confused well, you, we do not understand.
Speaker 1:What you want in movies is you want to have an understanding of what. What a character, what does the character, what does the character want? He wants the red trolley to come back, to which tarnowski should say the red trolley is never coming back right because there's no space for it. There's a no space must be. You know you need that.
Speaker 2:It never feels like it's life or death to him, these things that he's acting like are life or death to him yeah, because he's like a activist and if you're just listening, I put quotes around activists because he's he feels like one of those guys that just Does these things, because that's what he does, yeah.
Speaker 1:Lip service. You know, it's just like.
Speaker 2:I should be doing this, so I'm just going to do I don't know. I'll just pick a cause of the week. You know, like a monster of the week episode. Those are always the worst Monsters of the Week episode.
Speaker 1:Those are always the worst Monster of the Week. That's the greatest show format that exists.
Speaker 2:No, no, you want the through line. Listen, supernatural does it right, right.
Speaker 1:Through lines are stupid. What did you just say to me Through lines are stupid. I want a show that I can just turn on.
Speaker 2:I'm going to come into this screen.
Speaker 1:I'm going to punch you in the face, Dan. You see, it's supernatural. They're fighting the big bad Supernatural. The first season is 90% MOWs.
Speaker 2:Monsters of the Week right. But then they throw in tiny hints that there's something bigger every once in a while to keep you going. And as they go along, gradually, less Monster of the Week, more through line, and it's a nice blend, it's a nice blend. It's a nice blend.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:That's how you do it you wean off the monsters of the week.
Speaker 1:Well, we got that settled, yeah, so he gets in a big fight and then Punches the security guard guy and I guess this happens off screen.
Speaker 2:He punches the security guard and knocks out his tooth and then gets in trouble with the law or something Dude, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:He's back to swimming. He has another dream and he has this there's a tree. Now the problem with the dream or the meditation is that the tree is shown as just tree branches and the sun in the distance, and then he always sort of represents it as like this solid, full tree, uh-huh, and that bothered me the whole movie.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, because it feels like a midwinter tree, but not in winter. You know what I mean? Because it doesn't have the innards of a tree. It looks like a tree that's lost all of its love.
Speaker 1:There it is Boom, boom, boom. Susan calls him and they try and talk about their life and it doesn't go anywhere. Now this woman shows up, june June Del Rey. She says she's the executive assistant to Taranowski, the head of the city council. Did we ever see her in that scene?
Speaker 2:No, as far as I mean, I didn't rewatch it, but this is the first time I'm seeing this woman for sure.
Speaker 1:And we find out that she bailed him out of jail and we're like oh he was in jail, I guess for a thing we didn't see him do. Right, and then we never, we never touch any of that. You know you get bailed out. That means you're going to have a court case. All these things are going to happen. Nah we ignore all that, ignore all that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't worry about it. She needs her help doing something. I'm not sure what. I'm also not sure what, and so you had your problems with the movie. My biggest problem is I felt kind of lost the whole time, and when I get lost I get bored Because I'm not invested in what you're doing. You're doing things, chris Pine, but I don't really care what you're doing. And if Danny DeVito, if Jack and Diane aren't in the movie I'm checking out early, oh really, you know what I mean, yeah.
Speaker 1:June, June, not great.
Speaker 2:No, not great.
Speaker 1:No, I don't know, not bad, but not great. You're just like oh okay, she's like some woman sipped out of a 40s movie.
Speaker 2:Okay, Right, which is you know what they're going for, the old noir femme fatale or whatever you know, but there's no, there's no take on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, so he kind of refuses her offer. Now he's getting psychoanalyzed by Diane, while Jackie is talking to his agent, trying to get back into making movies, I guess.
Speaker 2:I guess, or film or TV, I don't know, or something.
Speaker 1:And then Jackie makes them all egg creams and they all drink egg creams. And I'm just like you can't do egg creams when whatchamacallit has white Russians. White Russians, yes, I think we all agree on that.
Speaker 2:It's too similar. I understand, oh, we should do a drink because that's an homage or whatever, but you can't do a drink that looks identical. That's, it's an homage or whatever, but you can't do a drink that looks identical, even though I'm sure it's different. I don't know what the difference between those two drinks are, because I want, I don't, I don't drink. So I don't know what a white russian is, but they're both.
Speaker 1:You know, white drinks, white, thick, gross looking drinks yeah, I think, uh, I think a white russian Kahlua and something I think it's like maybe Kahlua or maybe it's Milken, I don't know what it is. Everything you're saying sounds gross, but egg creams are not alcohol.
Speaker 2:I figured that I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1:It's like an old soda fountain thing. If you'd have gone to a soda fountain in the 40s or 50s, you'd get an egg cream Exactly. I barely know what they are and I'm very old. They watch Chinatown, they determine that LA is a desert, and then Dar goes to this hotel to go see June, because I guess he had followed her back to her place so he knows where she lives, which is a weird reveal, because she asked him how?
Speaker 2:Because I guess he had followed her back to her place, so he knows where she lives. Weird reveal, because she asked him how he found her. He says oh, it's a feeling. And then later admits that he followed her. Why didn't we just see him follow her?
Speaker 1:Because we only have an hour and 30 minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right. You're right, we don't want to waste any time.
Speaker 1:Once again, we're not really. We're putting all this sort of stuff out of the movie and then we're talking about it and it's I don't know. It's weird. He brought her gifts and sets up this. What he says is origami, but it's not origami. Another thing that annoys me origami is origami, but it's not origami. Another thing that annoys me origami's origami. What origami is is you? Take a piece of paper about this. Yay, big, what is that?
Speaker 1:like six inches by six inches and you fold it up, he had these whole things that had lights in them and that's like paper craft, which is very different.
Speaker 2:We took an origami class. Remember that we did yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was fun. What did I do in that origami class?
Speaker 2:Oh boy, I shouldn't have brought it up. I don't remember it that well. It was during the pandemic and we all did it on Zoom. It was really fun. What did you do? Something?
Speaker 1:rude, of course. What other friend did we have with us?
Speaker 2:Elko. We had Elko in there, who you're not a very nice guy to.
Speaker 1:What did I do to poor Elko?
Speaker 2:Did you make fun of him?
Speaker 1:Of course you made fun of him, roasted him unmercifully because he was having a hard time doing the work.
Speaker 2:So this guy, so he's already struggling to do the origami art and you're just bullying him. I mean, of course I don't remember this, I probably closed it out of my mind. I mean, of course I don't remember this, I probably closed it out of my mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like we should cry for Elko, who's in like Thailand right now, living in like the oh is he? He's like going to be a vampire or something. They were like taking teeth impressions of him, right, and then he showed like the spread at the hotel, the food Holy moly, he's living so large.
Speaker 2:I have always thought that he looked like a vampire, though yeah, I could see that he's got the hairline for it a little creepy one yeah, or he's pasty, pasty bastard um, he talks to her about the tree.
Speaker 1:Then she, she does tarot, but not really. She just pulls out one tarot card and is like hey the magician. You're like what, Not how that works. They go out to dinner. She used to act, but her passion is costuming. He brings up his girlfriend and then she's like can I trust you? It's like what? And then he's like falling in love with her, yeah, why? Well, you know?
Speaker 2:No, I don't know, that's all I had. That's all I had. Just yeah, you know you get it. You get it. You're a red-blooded man, you get it.
Speaker 1:He has another one of his weird dream visions, meditations, now just because we don't talk about it too much.
Speaker 2:I don't understand the dreams, dan. What don't you understand? Why?
Speaker 1:Oh, because they're in Kongra's movies.
Speaker 2:Okay. Do they usually make more sense? No, okay. Well, as long as he's doing it, right then.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Just in whatchamacallit, in Lebowski, he has that one dream about women and bowling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't like it.
Speaker 1:I don't think it adds anything, but it's a thing you can do.
Speaker 2:I guess it's a thing you can do.
Speaker 1:All right Great.
Speaker 2:It's a way of trying to add meaning. Well, because his kind of does help him solve the puzzle, which is confusing. Like he's already subconsciously thinking about water in the trees, I don't know yeah.
Speaker 1:They're in Chinatown, Jackie and Dare. Jackie tells this weird story about children's theater and a key in Cape Cod and he goes to the hotel and there's a bunch of hash there and he has a good time and you're like, okay, that's an interesting story.
Speaker 2:I didn't understand the story at all.
Speaker 1:They see Tarnowski, they give Chase, they're using walkie talkies, they make a squelch joke. Did you catch that squelch joke, tony?
Speaker 2:I don't think I did what was did? They just say squelch. Yeah, it's a squelch sure great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because didn't we talk about squelch a couple weeks ago?
Speaker 2:uh, yeah, no, we've definitely talked about the word squelch, yeah so I enjoyed that, of course. Of course you did.
Speaker 1:Hey, there's something for everybody they follow turn, ask you to santa anita, then, then and all the rest of the people show up. The one guy, wayne, has a gun and he's like gonna shoot them because they have a gun, it's very weird he brings coffee and he gets kind of shit on by dare, because dare like chooses always shit on him, even though later on in the movie he says is it because it's like a starbucks type coffee? I don't know. I don't know because he's.
Speaker 2:He keeps saying every time he gets a coffee he's like a Starbucks type coffee, I don't know. I don't know, because he keeps saying every time he gets a coffee he's like where is this from Wayne? As if that matters.
Speaker 1:Wayne doesn't tell him, and so we don't understand what the joke is. So something goes on between the Miami Vice guys and Tornowski, the head of the city council. So we're like, okay, maybe they think it's a payoff, who knows city council? So we're like, okay, it might be a. Maybe they think it's a payoff, who knows? We go back to the tiki, back to the, the motel, and we find out that wayne and susan had made, made love, and so they break up yeah, I like this scene yeah did you?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, why'd you like to see?
Speaker 2:I just I enjoy the scenes where chris pine is a bystander in his own scenes a little bit, where he kind of talks and nobody listens and he feels very like lost and he kind of has these you know internal things where he's like why I'm here, why is nobody listening to me and they, I don't know. I like watching him go through some stuff as obviously the character's not, uh, as defined as it should be. But there are moments where I'm like this is I see what you wanted to do with it and I would have loved it. I think I would have really, really liked it if we got there for the whole thing.
Speaker 1:It seems like this feel over scripted.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, totally yeah.
Speaker 1:We don't need so much. We need acting with lines Do some acting with lines.
Speaker 2:Do more lines, just do more lines. Eh, that's what I want Do more lines, just do more lines.
Speaker 1:So he ends up being happy for them and they say and we're moving to Palm Springs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, is that a joke.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't know either. I didn't know what it was.
Speaker 2:I was thinking about moving to Palm Springs, so I was like that's what an interesting thing to happen in my life right now, watching a movie that's talking about Moon and Palm Springs.
Speaker 1:Why would you move to Palm Springs?
Speaker 2:It's cheaper, we can afford it. Do you have a?
Speaker 1:job in Palm Springs, Tony.
Speaker 2:No, but not that we don't need to talk about my finances here, but when you know, when I get laid off, she could afford a condo in Palm Springs by herself.
Speaker 1:Your wife could afford a condo in Palm Springs by herself. Your wife could afford a condo in Palm Springs by herself.
Speaker 2:What does that mean? Without my monetary help? It's a place that we could go, that's close enough to continue with our lives here. But she could do it without my help as much. At first, because I'd have to find a new job.
Speaker 1:You're confusing me. We'll talk about this offline. Okay, there, right there, brockovich again. He tends pool, he meditates and then he sees an iguana and the iguana's like remember the tree, remember the tree.
Speaker 2:Remember the tree. So he's already solving a mystery that we don't even know exists. You know what I mean? That's weird. That's a weird order to do things. I would love to be in on the mystery just a little bit and be like I would love to figure it out with him, but I never feel like I'm part of the game. I'm not part of this mystery because I don't know what the mystery is yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. So June shows up. She was just visiting her dying mother. She hugs him I need you, I can only trust you. They kiss and then she leaves and he's stricken because he was all like I was going to go further.
Speaker 2:Go a little further.
Speaker 1:He pulls out the photos that he took at Santa Anita and he realizes that the two guys are the guys from the calendar that he just got in the mail. So I thought that meant that the dudes were actors.
Speaker 2:Or models, or models.
Speaker 1:Right, but I think that that calendar ties to someone else, and if we knew what that calendar was, we'd know who it tied them to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know man.
Speaker 1:That calendar is so obliquely shown to us that nothing about that calendar registers other than it's the exact same two guys and they are looking like they're models as opposed to something which is very confusing to me.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:So he goes to Theater Hollandaise's office. I don't know why he goes there well, we don't know. That's true do we find out?
Speaker 2:not really. I like I never I'm listen, I'm not a smart guy. So this movie I was pretty confused, until they just tell me what the story was at the end and I'm like are you sure? Yeah, are you sure that's the story you've been telling for an hour 40? Because I'm not totally convinced.
Speaker 1:So it turns out that Theater holidays buys property, and then he's looks like he's working with Ray what's his name? Whose name is Butch in the movie Butch? And then he's a developer of this Venice housing project, or maybe they're not the developers.
Speaker 2:Something I'm not quite sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then they do some handshaking and then he goes into Holliday's place and then Miami Vice guys work for the developer of what? Might be the Venice housing department. Or might just, or might not. Might not be that. And then in the office he comes in there and he's like the dude's, like make yourself at home. And then he comes over there and he sits in the chair and then he starts doing all this prop work with a suitcase, do you want to?
Speaker 1:talk about the prop work with a suitcase. Do you want to talk about the prop work with the suitcase, Tony?
Speaker 2:I mean you're putting me on the spot here. I didn't have a lot to say, because you know you watch it and you're like why is he doing this? At what stage were they all sitting in this room? And they're like, you know what you should do.
Speaker 2:You should just should, just kind of and just mess around with it during the whole scene so that, while people are watching it, all they're thinking about is what the fuck is he doing right now? Why is he doing that? I, I don't even know what is said in this scene. For the most part, dad like I'm so distracted because I just want to know what's going on, what he's deciding in his head the actor, not the character, you know what I mean. I'm like. Why are you doing this?
Speaker 1:our buddy, our buddy harrison, had, uh had this bit he did as a magician he would come on stage with a case and he'd put the case down. He'd open the case and then the case would start, you know, be dropping stuff and then at a certain point the case goes everywhere and it's a very funny sketch, it's very funny because the magic becomes secondary to this guy's trouble that he's having with the case.
Speaker 1:And it becomes secondary to this guy's trouble that he's having with the case, right, and that's what the scene is. We're like make it about the case Right.
Speaker 2:If that's what you want it to be about, there's so much of it at this point that if it's the fact that it's not about the case fucks me up for the rest of the scene, like it's, yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 1:You know Shit. God damn what's the company I have a president, here you know, and if this movie had just done that and, just you know, had left the plot behind? And just Because I guess that's my problem with the movie is, at times this movie has the right instincts, because that case is the right instinct.
Speaker 2:That's a better scene than the scene that I'm not interested in the scene. It'll be very funny.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean you know, and this guy's you know, and you could have this guy at the same time telling his story, which was one of the better stories, which is that, you know, he came out here to be an actor and then it all fell apart. And then he's you know, he saw a sign that said we buy houses for cash. And then he's like and then he called them, got a job there. And then he's like and now I'm the voice on the other end of that line.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure.
Speaker 1:And this point at which the case pops open, he pulls out the thing and he's like what was the story?
Speaker 2:you just okay do that story again, and then he gets thrown out right.
Speaker 1:So we're giving the information, he does nothing and gets thrown out. Okay, this is a scene I want to see. This is a scene that should be in this movie.
Speaker 2:It almost is.
Speaker 1:It almost is. And then he says the dude says you've got it all wrong. And he's like go to the Moody Mule, toronowski's hiding a secret. We're like, okay, he goes to the mule and there's Toronowski on stage doing the Golden Girls live as a drag queen.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I believe Drew Droege was one of the other golden girls yeah, yeah, no, I think that that's the actual cast of golden girls live, I'm pretty sure. Oh, really. Plus, I don't know if he's even I assume steven's not usually one of them, okay, but you know what?
Speaker 1:let's just look it up oh, so they do that, they do that show yeah, no, this is a real show in austin in los angeles.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure. Uh, facebook page. I just wanted a cast, guys. Why is nobody giving me a cast? Because it's too hard you know, it does look like. Yeah, dorothy's for sure the same person. So yeah, I think I think this. Yeah, I think this is the real cast.
Speaker 1:So wait, he's in it, the actor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he is not a normal part of it. No, so I think he's subbing in, for somebody Slotted him in yeah.
Speaker 1:Anyhow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fun, fun little thing. And this leads to my favorite scene of the movie it's the absolute best scene in the whole movie.
Speaker 1:He goes backstage and tornowski's it's a dressing room. He bursts in and, uh, they sort of get into it. And then we we find out that tornowski's, you know, living this sort of double life and he's afraid to tell his family. And Chris Pine's character, dare, is just like. I wouldn't do this. This is who you are.
Speaker 2:It's a wonderful pivot, though, because when you first see Chris Pine character watching it, he's shocked and you you're like, oh, like I don't. Maybe it was just me, but my first reaction was like uh-oh, is he gonna? Be like surprised and like, uh, this is not right. I you know like I had that moment just because you know america because we're programmed to have that moment right and I was worried and then they were like it was the complete opposite.
Speaker 2:He was like no, this is the most interesting thing about you. Why would I, why would I ever ruin something like that? Like this is wonderful. Do that. However, I think you're a bad guy, which I thought it was. I loved it. I thought it was a really wonderful.
Speaker 1:Then he does the plot and the dude is like, no, you're wrong.
Speaker 2:You've got it all wrong.
Speaker 1:And it's really an emotional scene and it's an emotional scene because they both have stakes in this.
Speaker 2:And they both care about what they're saying.
Speaker 1:And Chris Dare is engaged In so many of the other scenes. He's I'm here At this point. He's with this other character and I'm like oh wow, look at this.
Speaker 2:It reminds me Dan. Oh sorry, no, no go with this other character. And I'm like, oh wow, look at this, it reminds me Dan. Oh sorry, no, no go.
Speaker 1:It's two great characters interacting and being emotional and having stakes in a scene and you're like, wow, look at this. What happens when you put two great actors with stakes in a scene where they get to act with each other? I got emotional. I was like this is great.
Speaker 2:It's where they get to act with each other. I got emotional. I was like this is great. It's where they get to care about each other a little. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:It's two characters that were at loggerheads and if these characters had been real loggerheads, the whole thing about stuff we understood then when they come together this would have been even better yeah. It could have been even better, and it's a great scene already.
Speaker 2:So a lot of this movie reminds me of being in an improv class, like an early stages improv class, sure where you always have the one person which I was very guilty of when I first started that likes to stand back and comment you know what I mean like he's not, they're not a part of the scene, but they are, are you know, they're saying jokes, they're contributing, but they are always separate from the thing. And then in the class, at some point something clicks in someone, and then they do a scene where they're invested and they care and you're like, holy shit, this is it, this is what we wanted this whole time, hold on to that. And then they don't. That's what this whole movie reminds me of. And this is the scene where it finally clicks and you're like guys, start over let's keep this one scene and shoot, reshoot everything else, because this is your north star, yeah, uh, but yeah, they didn't.
Speaker 2:I assume they didn't have money to do that. But no, no, that's that's what I was thinking when this scene came on. I was, I was. It was like, finally, finally, we hit what I think we've all been looking for this whole time.
Speaker 1:And they talk. They talk about anxiety. He talks about writing Aaron Brockovich and he says it makes him feel less alone. And then he's like you know, I'm the same way, and they say sorry. And then they say sorry to each other, and then they forgive each other and then the actually the funniest, the funniest moment in the whole movie he takes off his Golden Girls wig and then he takes off his fake hair wig to show he's bald. And I'm like whoever thought of that is fucking genius, because it's just like that's an unparalleled scene, that's just like mask upon mask.
Speaker 2:Exactly, yeah, you're slowly burying your soul. Yep, it's wonderful. They do a hug and then and then he dies, then he gets shot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then the bad guys throw, throw the gun at him and I was just like I'm going to ignore this part of it Cause because, totally, when you kill someone in a movie, yeah, you've, you've, you've moved into different, a different area, a hundred percent, and I'm like, well, okay, someone in a movie you've moved into a different area 100% and I'm like, well, okay, shoot.
Speaker 2:I don't know, darn it.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to kind of ignore it.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what Good for you. Put up those walls, Dan Proud of you.
Speaker 1:Because such a good scene I don't want to get.
Speaker 2:You don't want to sully it, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I mean, there are two best characters. You just killed one of them and then you've thrown a gun in there, so the other one's going to get in trouble for it.
Speaker 2:I'm like oh, okay, I suppose All right, I guess back to this plot thing.
Speaker 1:Then he's dying. He's like follow the water Okay.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:Sure, he runs from everybody, gets back, meditates in his now empty pool Right. Then after that he meditates and has another sort of dream. Then he wakes up and he's in Jack and Diane's apartment. He's crying, he's scared. Jack's on the phone and he's talking to his agent and the agent gives him an offer for a sitcom. Right yeah. But then he hears the story of what happened, he's like now we have a third act.
Speaker 2:I'm like, okay, that's funny, that's a funny line, it's a good line. I'm a little confused why? Why is he on the phone with his agent? What does this have to do with anything else that's happening?
Speaker 1:I don't know, it's just I don't know well, what, what they, how they should have defined. It is okay, yeah, yeah, he's the one who's obsessed with the documentary, right, sure, so he's obsessed with making this documentary, so every he's. He's like I'm calling my agent and I'm going to get in rooms so we can get the money to finish the film, right.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:And so then, at this point, the agent's like I don't want your stupid, he doesn't want our stupid film.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But he just offered me shooting sitcoms for a bunch of money.
Speaker 2:Which is that's a perfect gig right now.
Speaker 1:She gets excited, diane gets excited and he's like I told him no, because we're going to get this. You know he needs to be this guy. That's like we're going to get this movie done the driving force of the doc and then he hears the story of this thing and then he's like now we've got our third act scene cut. They've got the third act, but no, we talk about the water beneath the Venice project.
Speaker 2:We meander a little.
Speaker 1:And then we find out that there's a big aquifer under the Venice project and they've been using this one truck, that somehow a picture appears somewhere to steal the water.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh, yeah, makes perfect sense Dan.
Speaker 1:So then he goes to June's to confront her that she set him up for whatever he was set up for, that she set him up for whatever he was set up for. And then she says that Dutch Van Patterson is her father, and then the mother is dying, and then she kisses him and then she leaves.
Speaker 1:And then he looks up there and there's a big painting of the two of them and it says that they're getting married. We're seeing that information and somehow he does not see this information and it doesn't go into his brain.
Speaker 2:Well, also, I don't understand who has a picture that underneath is captioned the future. Mr and Mrs Yada Yada, that's not a picture anybody has.
Speaker 1:Especially if you're going to go kill your still living wife and you're the secret lover.
Speaker 2:Right. No, that's damning evidence right there.
Speaker 1:That's so weird, also, since you're going to announce that information To us in the next scene.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally unnecessary yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't understand why did she even tell him that that was her dad?
Speaker 2:I you know, to keep him on the, on the.
Speaker 1:On the reel. I mean, I know it's the thing in Chinatown, but yeah, dude, I don't know On the real.
Speaker 2:I mean, I know it's the thing in Chinatown, but yeah, dude, I don't know, are you tired, are you exhausted yet?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Then the police show up. He flees, puts on a thing, flees, escapes on a scooter. He goes to the mom's house, walks in and they're trying to smother her with a pillow.
Speaker 2:With a pillow.
Speaker 1:And then we learn that it's not really June's mom, she's the lover. And then they're going to be getting married. Once they smother her with a pillow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know natural causes and all that.
Speaker 1:How does that work? I don't know. How does that work? I don't know he then. Then we find out that what this is all about is there's water under the thing and they've been busing, they've been chucking that water out to his almond farms, and that's what it is.
Speaker 2:Well.
Speaker 1:I mean, they're great almonds. You know and that's a whole comment of people that care about water conservation hate almonds, because you know it takes like a thousand gallons of water to make one almond, and then it takes a hundred thousand almonds to make one ounce of almond milk, and so that's why almond milk is reviled.
Speaker 2:Oh, so that's bad too. Yeah, so I mean, what am I supposed to drink then, Dan? Because I can't drink cow milk. That's bad.
Speaker 1:Why can't you drink? What's wrong with cow milk?
Speaker 2:Well, because the cows aren't treated well and they release gases and it's destroying the ozone. So cow's milk is not good. Almond milk is much worse. Well, drink water, I, so cow's milk is not good.
Speaker 1:Almond milk is much worse. Well drink water.
Speaker 2:I mean, I always drink water, but I can't put water in my cereal Dan.
Speaker 1:Well, you can.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't, because I'm not a crazy person.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, get some powdered milk. So wait, do you use almond milk? Yeah, oh, you're a giant asshole.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that was bad. I'm done.
Speaker 1:Almonds are super terrible, but here's the thing right Almond farming is super terrible.
Speaker 2:The silk, dark chocolate, almond milk is unbelievable. It's so good.
Speaker 1:Why don't you just eat candy bars for your just melt down candy bars?
Speaker 2:and pour that over your cereal. I'll take a nice bite of a nice Snickers and finish it off with some delicious chocolate milk. You know, chocolate on all fronts, my God.
Speaker 1:So then he says to June, I love you. And it won't be easy. You're like why is he in love with her? I don't understand that. I have no idea.
Speaker 2:It's so weird.
Speaker 1:And she's like you're a simple person, People like me eat, people like you. And then she's like this is not Chinatown, it's life. And you're like no, this is less. Chinatown was more like how life is Chinatown. You get to the end of Chinatown and everybody's dead and no one's suffering. The dad who's having sex with his own child is taking her away to continue to do everything. He gets away. You know this. Nobody suffers any consequences to chinatown yeah, yeah that's reality.
Speaker 1:That's that's where life goes and then boom, wayne bursts in with a gun and shoots the gun out of the hand of the other guy. It turns out. Wayne is an FBI agent and he's been undercover, and then somehow Jackie is in the room before them and he's filming, and then he makes the FBI guy do the scene all over again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you missed the line. They gave you the Dan Goodsell line. What?
Speaker 1:was the line, because you the damn good sell line.
Speaker 2:What was the line? Because chris pine or duran. He asks how did jack and diana and wayne's like? Well, I, I let them know so I could give you your ending. You needed the ending to your movie, so I brought them along oh no, I just.
Speaker 1:Why does the fbi guy have to do a thing again?
Speaker 2:oh, well that would. That would be Danny DeVito's fault, not Danny DeVito the character, jack's fault. He just missed the shot, so he needed him to do it again. Happens all the time, dan. Okay, especially during a documentary. Things are happening in real time, sometimes you're not in focus and if you don't get that shot, you're screwed. It's the whole movie, dan. So whole movie, dan. So he's like I need you to take it over again.
Speaker 1:He should have said no.
Speaker 2:Wow, you're cold hearted. If I'm ever making a documentary and I ask you to do something again, you better do it.
Speaker 1:You better do it, Dan, Tony. I only live real life once.
Speaker 2:Live real life once.
Speaker 1:That's how I live my life.
Speaker 2:Once. Okay, I'll live in the moment.
Speaker 1:We find out that they're actually in love. And then Wayne says he's Dara's best friend and then he remembers the tree and I guess his mom left him under a tree and he was alone and I don't know if she left him for good.
Speaker 2:She did. Yeah, she abandoned him. She did, did they say that, or simply no, but that's like the vibes of the whole film. And then finally they're like oh yeah, no, I was, I was left to my own devices. Yeah, it's like a sad thing, and I didn't.
Speaker 1:I didn't think it needed it I didn't think it needed either, then we kind of do a you know you find your own family, sort of thing yeah, found family Always great. He writes another letter to Aaron Brockovich, which doesn't really mean anything. And then we cut to the city council. They play their movie at the city council Jackie is with his agent and the agent loves the movie. And then they talk weird numbers that I didn't understand and then they kiss on the lips.
Speaker 2:They kiss on the lips. That was weird, I thought, didn't understand.
Speaker 1:And then he's like and then they kiss on the lips.
Speaker 2:They kiss on the lips. That was weird, that was fun.
Speaker 1:And then the city council. You know, we pull the lights up. They're all like great movie we love you, we're going to make you the policy supervisor of community, something, something, something. And then he's like no thanks. And then he turns around and starts addressing the audience about needing trolleys and different bus maps and the buses.
Speaker 2:Again he's back to himself.
Speaker 1:He's not been spoiled by making the movie, he's still a crank.
Speaker 2:He's still Pool, man yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I mean, I kind of like it, but he should have talked about something new or something Sure, yeah, yeah yeah. But it was like stuff we've already heard. It's like oh, he's doing the same shtick, he hasn't gone anywhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, you know it's not a good movie, but it's not the worst movie I've ever seen.
Speaker 1:It is so far from the worst movie you've ever seen. We've just seen some of the movies that you want to poke your eyes out. You know it looked good, everyone looked good, everyone acted good, except maybe the June girl, and there were a few good scenes and there was a bunch of good ideas, and I do like your idea of the idea of a Coen Brothers movie. That's not steeped in cynicism.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent. That's what the world needs, dan. More joy, more joy. We're all so jaded, you know. Let's get rid of it. I can't, I'm too far gone.
Speaker 1:But maybe the next generation anything else to say about this movie, tony?
Speaker 2:I just want to say that it's got a lot of hate that I don't think it fully deserved, because people were really mean about it, like really really mean about. It's not a good movie we, we all agree. But it's not a terrible movie. It's not a movie where I hate anybody and I, you know, I get furious about it. It's just like okay, yeah, you tried some stuff, some worked, some didn't. Try again. Try again because you're only going to get better. Yeah, you know I feel bad.
Speaker 1:It looked good. They put camera in good places, it was lit well, the acting was great. You know, I mean Ugh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. Just I feel bad for chris pine because I you know you got to be taking it to heart, because this is the first time you've been more than just an actor on it, you know.
Speaker 1:So it's it's more personal than than normal yes, you could feel that he he wanted this movie so bad.
Speaker 2:And you're like, oh, and people were just like, well, you're shit, everything's shit, fuck you. It's sad.
Speaker 1:So we're going to say give it another go, chris.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, man, don't let them get you down. Brother, Go for it Make another movie.
Speaker 1:If you need a script, doctor, we're here.
Speaker 2:man, We'll just be like you know, if you need someone to kiss in the movie, you let me know.
Speaker 1:Tony's available for kissing. That kiss is going to be more real than the kiss with the girl in this movie.
Speaker 2:That's a given. That's a given on both parts, because Chris will be excited, I'll be excited, we'll all be excited.
Speaker 1:I have to do some bonus. Hate today, uh-oh. What'd you watch? What'd I listen to?
Speaker 2:Oh, you listened, oh boy.
Speaker 1:There's a new Melissa McCarthy podcast, humor podcast, and it's like I don't even know what it's called. It's like a Lord of the rings comedy thing where she plays like not conan the barbarian, she plays the something, something hildy, the bar back and the lake of fire it is so bad, really it is so, so Now I have to listen to it.
Speaker 2:You've made it, so now I have to listen to it. Thanks, dan. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Did you ever listen to the Zack Snyder podcast? What should we call it? No, no, I did not. I tried that. No, did you? Really? You were like what you need to do is make it just a little more softcore porn and then maybe you'll find a real audience.
Speaker 2:It's like weird.
Speaker 1:You're like oh man, I don't want to be walking around the neighborhood listening.
Speaker 2:Listen, his stuff gets weirder and weirder.
Speaker 1:You know you're like because in the morning I have my phone and I don't have earbuds because I'm not going to give them money.
Speaker 2:And so I just play my podcast and listen to it. Play it out loud while you're walking down the street Like a transistor radio.
Speaker 1:It's like if you're listening to that shit, you're like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to turn this down here, Sorry everybody. It's so weird.
Speaker 2:Oh God, it's just like but the.
Speaker 1:Melissa McCarthy thing. The Melissa McCarthy thing, you have to listen to it.
Speaker 2:I'm going to.
Speaker 1:I don't think I made it through the first episode.
Speaker 2:And then you look down the cast list and it's everyone in Grounded.
Speaker 1:It's like Drew Droege, but it's written by her husband, Ben Falcone.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:I think that guy might not be funny at all Well, what else has he done? I know that he's in stuff with her, like he co-writes all those movies, all the all the new movies that are so bad. I mean, we haven't even done any of them, they're so bad I got.
Speaker 2:I got to listen to this podcast, so I'm a dude on my way to work all week if you make it through more than one episode I'll be so impressed it's just like you's all I want. All I want is your approval, Dan, so I'll listen to the whole damn thing.
Speaker 1:You know they'll be like. Here I am. Let me say what I'm going to say. It's like oh, jesus Christ. So that's a bonus hate. Alright, bonus hate. So I'll do a Tony pick of something I like this week Because we watched this other show. It was this crazy BBC show. Oh man, okay, I'll talk about that some other time. Oh, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:But, there's new Oreo, chocolate and peanut butter pie Oreos. What this new Oreos? They're called Chocolate and Peanut Butter Pie Oreos. Basically, it's kind of a peanut butter cookie and then it's like half peanut butter filling and then half classic chocolate filling.
Speaker 2:I'm looking at them right now they're pretty good, yeah, pretty good. They look great. All right, well, I'm going to find those.
Speaker 1:So what do you got first? Don't you give us something?
Speaker 2:good, Well, I've got to go to Ralph's Dan. I'll see you later.
Speaker 1:Okay good.
Speaker 2:We watched Brian Jordan Alvarez's English teacher cover to cover last weekend in one day 10 episodes, 12 episodes, 18?, 22?
Speaker 1:Eight whole episodes. Wow, eight 30-minute episodes. They give you a lot to watch nowadays, don't they?
Speaker 2:Dan, it's amazing, it's good, it's really good.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:It was delightful, oh good, yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with it. Oh, full disclosure. I mean it's not perfect, obviously, but it was really good. I'm really impressed and happy for him, and also I hate him a little bit.
Speaker 1:Is it getting some love? It seems like it has some adherence at least it's gotten all positive reviews.
Speaker 2:It has not yet been renewed, but we're all keeping our fingers crossed Because I don't know how the ratings were, but everyone that watches it seems to love it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And who else I?
Speaker 2:mean our buddy. Adam was on there, right he had like a little scene with jimmy fowley, so that wasn't a bunch. Oh wow, great. Stephanie konig's in it, ken does an episode. Oh good, um, and strass does an episode adam was in that one scene, right right. That is not Adam.
Speaker 1:That wasn't Adam.
Speaker 2:It's not Adam, it looks a lot like Adam. Oh, my God Unless it's just not listed on IMDb yet, because I checked.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought that was it. I could be wrong.
Speaker 2:Listen, I don't know Wow and yeah, but it's great, it's great, I would recommend it.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll try watching it.
Speaker 2:At least give it a shot, because you'll know pretty quick if you're vibing it, because it's very, brian, it's very fast, it's very quick, it's very you know. So, like you'll know if you're feeling it pretty quick.
Speaker 1:Now did you like AP Bio?
Speaker 2:I did not like AP Bio and I love Glenn Howerton, but I wasn't. I could never get into it. And what about Abbott elementary? We have, we watched the pilot?
Speaker 1:I think and we were like, oh, this is fine, and then we never continued. Yeah, I watched maybe one episode and I was like, eh, not for me, so English teacher's great.
Speaker 2:Everybody watch it, everybody watch it when is it? Where is it at? I think you can find it on Hulu, I think that's where we watched it.
Speaker 1:Is that where it is?
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, yeah, it's on Hulu.
Speaker 1:We're going back to the 80s next week, Tony, oh my favorite decade. Who do you?
Speaker 2:love Sean Penn. I don't love Sean Penn, but I'll accept it. The.
Speaker 1:The biggest pop star of the 80s.
Speaker 2:Madonna Huey Lewis. Oh, madonna, madonna.
Speaker 1:What movie were those two characters in?
Speaker 2:Sean Penn and Madonna? I don't, I have no idea. The only Madonna movie I remember is Her and the Green Goblin. What's his name? Again, the Green Goblin.
Speaker 1:What are you?
Speaker 2:talking about the guy from Spider-Man? Yeah, green Goblin. What's his name? What's his name? Again, the Green Goblin. What are you talking about? The guy from Spider-Man, what's his name? What's his name? He's so weird.
Speaker 1:I can't think of his name. I can't think of his name. He was in Streets of Fire and he was the Green Goblin. What's his name? I can't think of his name. I am, oh god, willem Dafoe, jesus I was thinking Warren Christopher, but he was like Secretary of State, I think Wait.
Speaker 2:Anyhow, what movie were they in? I think it was called Body of Evidence and it was basically soft core porn.
Speaker 1:Oh nice.
Speaker 2:I snuck the VHS from my parents and watched it when I was a kid and it was awesome. That's the only Madonna movie I know.
Speaker 1:You never saw Desperately Seeking Susan.
Speaker 2:I did not.
Speaker 1:Desperately Seeking Susan is actually a good movie, and then the fall and it was a good movie. And she was, it was Roseanne Arquette, and then Madonna was sort of the co-star, second character, second main lead, and then right after that they put her in another movie and this movie is called Shanghai Surprise.
Speaker 2:Can you call a movie that?
Speaker 1:Is that like some weird sexual thing that I don't know?
Speaker 2:about?
Speaker 1:No, I don't know, I don't know we're doing the Shanghai Surprise tonight. It sounds sexual, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:I don't know A little bit, all right. So yeah, shanghai, surprise. It sounds sexual, doesn't it I?
Speaker 1:don't know A little bit. All right, so yeah, shanghai Surprise it came out. It was a complete dud. Everyone hated it and I never saw it back in the day. And so I'm like you know this is a bad movie that I've never seen from the 80s. And so they spent some money on it, but I think it's like a romp. These two people are, you know, one's hot and one's cold, and they're forced to work together to do something or other.
Speaker 2:Of course they are. Yes, in Shanghai, in the 1920s.
Speaker 1:I think it's in the 20s or 30s you know, oh boy alright. It's like a period piece and it's Madonna and it's Sean Penn, right when he was a young acting buck.
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, I'm sure he's quite handsome, couldn't find it? Well, I'm excited.
Speaker 1:The only place to find it was on Fandango at Home. It was the only place you could buy it. All right, that's not a good start for them. And then it said it was on Apple TV+. Apple TV+ Can't find it? I don't think so.
Speaker 2:Can't find it? Okay, all right. Well, I'm ready.
Speaker 1:Shanghai Surprise.
Speaker 2:Great stuff.
Speaker 1:And then in two weeks we're going to do a couple special episodes, which are called Guilty Pleasures, where each of us gets to pick a movie that we love, that hopefully the other person's going to hate and that also everyone in the world hates. And, as Tony said, that is most of the movies that Tony loves.
Speaker 2:That's my prime movie. Love right there.
Speaker 1:And that's it. If you like what we do, give us a thumbs up. We had a nice guy from Scotland, whose name I don't have up right now, just sent us a nice comment about our show. Thank you, he's enjoying the show.
Speaker 2:Thanks, guy, that Dan didn't feel the need to remember your name, jesus dude, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I can look it up, but that would involve me actually doing things in my life, doing work.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is why nobody likes us.
Speaker 1:Dan.
Speaker 2:They say nice things and we just shit all over them.
Speaker 1:I left him a very nice comment. He lives near a lock. You know what a lock is, oh.
Speaker 2:I would love to live near a lock that sounds beautiful. What is a lock then? Isn't that just a lake?
Speaker 1:That's it. Okay, call me a Scottish.
Speaker 2:I know I'm basically Scottish.
Speaker 1:So yeah, Leave us a comment and we'll respond to it terribly like this.
Speaker 2:If you want to be sort of not really mentioned on the show, go ahead right in, guys it's gonna be great.
Speaker 1:He was like hoping you guys get more people watching you and I'm like, yes, no thanks, but we got you that's all we need, not when we keep playing the game as terribly as we play it. Um, yeah, so comment, subscribe or uh, the other thing like, like, there's three things you can comment, subscribe.
Speaker 2:That's like a phrase that everybody knows. Now, dan, you're falling apart on me, man.
Speaker 1:We gotta wrap this episode up you know, I feel like every time I type in my password I'm like is this the time I'm not gonna be able to remember?
Speaker 2:am I locked out of everything for eternity? Because sometimes I'll be like.
Speaker 1:You know, we couldn't come up with Willem Dafoe's name. Willem Dafoe's name, I don't know I know that's bad, the Greek goblin guy. Nope, that was pretty good. Not in there, okay. We'll be back next week. Thanks for coming along. Goodbye, everybody, hey watch it with Dan and Tony hey watch it with Dan and Tony.
Speaker 2:It's like watching, yeah.