Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Uglies
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What if living in dorms until the age of 16 and undergoing surgery to become "pretty" was the societal norm? Join us as we humorously unravel the perplexing world of "Uglies," the movie adaptation of the beloved book series. With a dystopian society fueled by poppy flowers and devoid of parents, our critique pinpoints the peculiarities of this bizarre universe. We draw parallels with "The Hunger Games," questioning the execution of the film's plot and its inexplicable elements, all while laughing along the way.
As we navigate through the story, we challenge the logic behind the brain-altering processes aimed at compliance and attractiveness, scrutinizing Dr. Cable's seemingly unfathomable motivations. With witty banter, we expose the irony of the characters looking less appealing after their transformation and the absurdity of beauty-centric societal norms. Our exploration doesn't stop there, as we also delve into unrelated but entertaining topics like our recent obsession with Nintendo's Pokemon TCG Pocket and the comedic intrigue of Chris Rock's "Head of State."
Amidst our roller-coaster discussion, we share whimsical critiques of movie tropes, such as a blood pact between friends and a far-fetched thriller involving a paralyzed woman communicating by blinking. Whether it's imagining fantastical hoverboard adventures or poking fun at storyline absurdities, our episode promises a lively, thought-provoking ride. Packed with laughs and personal anecdotes, this episode offers a playful yet critical examination of the storytelling choices in "Uglies" and beyond.
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Hate-Watching Movie Reviews
Speaker 1So you finished the movie.
Speaker 2Yeah, we jumped literally about four minutes ago.
Speaker 1The good news is there's like 17 minutes of credits.
Speaker 2Well. So when I texted you I was like I'm going to lie and be like I'll probably just stop it early. And then the movie ended with four minutes to spare and I was like cool that's great, there was a lot of credits.
Speaker 1I was like, oh nice, a lot of people worked on it All right.
Speaker 2On it all right. It's very pretty and not very ugly and not for real. There's like one ugly person in the whole movie. It's there and I won't. I won't single them out, but there was one ugly person in the movie and I was like that person should be the lead of the film.
Speaker 3Hate watching with Dan and Tony. It's like watching hell.
Speaker 1Welcome to Hate. Watching with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan, I'm Tony, and on this show we watch movies. We watch the latest, the greatest and the most hatest movies.
Speaker 2We're so hip, you know.
Speaker 1This week I got to pick the movie and I picked the Uglies based on Is it?
Speaker 2The Uglies, or is it just Uglies?
Speaker 1It is just Uglies, you're correct.
Speaker 2I keep calling it the Uglies and I keep getting corrected in this household.
Speaker 1Uh-oh, I have a feeling someone in the household read the book. She did she did indeed. All four books and then all the three new books.
Speaker 2She read all four books and then all the three new books. She read all seven. Definitely not the new books. She read the originals and she was not a fan.
Speaker 1She was not a fan of the originals. Yeah, she didn't like. She read four books based on this.
Speaker 2I don't know if she read all four. I know she read the first two, which is Uglies Pretties, but I'm not too up to date on her whole library. It's vast.
Speaker 1So Ugly's is one of these books that was written after Hunger Games, I assume. I think it was before.
Speaker 2I think this was like one of the first.
Speaker 1I'm pretty sure so.
Speaker 2Hunger Games ripped this off well, I think it was more like they were like oh, I see what you're trying to do. It's dumb, but I can make it less dumb.
Speaker 1Yes, that's kind of what the that's, the uglies came and presented a really stupid idea done badly, and then hunger games was like well, we're going to do this moderately, okay enough so that it can happen for sure, yeah, yeah. I tried watching the new Hunger Games movie like the prequel one or something yeah pretty good, you loved it. You thought it was really good. You loved it. Can't say I finished it can't finish it.
Speaker 2That's never a good sign.
Speaker 1Fell asleep multiple times.
Speaker 2Oh sure Sure.
Speaker 1So Uglies is going to present us with a world of the future where everyone that's under 16 is normal looking and lives in magic dorms and doesn't really know their parents. Not sure how all that works.
Speaker 2Well, you know, because your parents just ship you off to boarding school because you're too ugly to live. Is that what it is?
Speaker 1Okay, wait. So I have a question.
Speaker 2Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1You know someone that read the books and maybe she could answer this.
Speaker 2Well, she's not here, but I'll do my best, Dan.
Speaker 1So under 16s, they're there for four years. So they're there from 12 to 16 or so. Yeah, they live in the ugly dorms, the brutalist dorms, and they look across the river and they see the beautiful town that all the pretties live in, because when you get to be 16, they operate on you and give you plastic surgery so you're attractive. They can watch all the beautiful people having a big beautiful party 24 24, 7. They're over there partying fireworks every minute. Yeah, where are their parents?
Speaker 2uh, well, I assume their parents are in a different part of town where, like, the old people, all get together as well. You know, because you don't want to, you don't want to mix ages, you know that would be weird. So so 12 to 16 are in the in the ugly dorms. Yeah, 16 to like probably 21 you know, they only get five years in there you only get five years to be pretty and then and then they send you off to like a third place probably.
Speaker 1That's like classy dinners and you know boring shit so that's the series of books we want to read, which is like what? Old town, old town, old town, I'm in so, you know, we hear very little about these parents, you know, and it's like if you were stripped from your parents when you're 12.
Speaker 1Yeah, it would mean something well, I mean you're gonna have some psychological issues probably you know some, some sadness to you, but we wipe it out no, just forget about that yeah, it's fine you know kids, kids separation anxiety, it's fine and so then you get to live in this magical place, and then they created an infinite power source, which is poppies. Poppy flowers are this infinite power source. That's what it is. Poppy flowers. Do you know what poppy flowers are really used for? Tony?
Speaker 2Making poppy seed buns for my burgers. Opium, oh sure, my poppy fields, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1So I thought this was gonna shift into that is some drugs opium dealers, but no, no, instead we're just gonna.
Speaker 2It's gonna become like an environmentalist issue a little bit dude. Interesting this this movie.
Speaker 1Whatever this movie's a mess. So yeah, so the fossil fuels ruined the world. There were the rusties, who are the old people that I love I kind I'm a Rusty as a nickname.
Speaker 2I would be a Rusty any day of the week. I like it.
Speaker 1The problem with these movies is that someone movies and books. Is that someone stupid made up all these names?
Speaker 2Sure.
Speaker 1It's just when you really start at that point, yeah, it's just, it's just never going to recover yeah I mean that's I, I get it, I get.
Speaker 2I don't know if I would say that that's the main core issue, uh, but I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 1It's, it's, you're off on, you're off to a bad start and uh, the other thing, of course, is when everybody's pretty, then there's no more conflict, because pretty people never conflict with each other.
Speaker 2Okay, so this is my biggest, my biggest confusion of the movie. Right, because they're like oh, once, once, you're pretty, all of our differences basically disappear, but like we don't make everyone look the same, nope, right, like we still have race and gender and like we have like all of the social structures are still there, you're just cosmetically enhanced.
Speaker 2Yes, that doesn't actually take away any of the reasons I dislike people. I don't dislike people because they're ugly, you know like I know it's weird, it doesn't make any sense. Like America's, not like boy Russians are real ugly. We should start a Cold War with those uggos. Nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1Well, the thing you got to remember is everything in a story like this is filtered through the brain of a 15-year-old girl.
Speaker 2I mean sure.
Speaker 1No hold on as a 15-year-old girl myself.
Speaker 2Hold on, let me 15-year-old girl myself.
Speaker 1Hold on, Let me rephrase that.
Speaker 2This is all filtered through the mind of a middle-aged white man trying to imagine their 15-year-old girl Now there you go, therein lies the crux, probably A guy that really never really went through any of this and it's weird, it's pretty weird.
Speaker 1No truth to anything you know no truth to anything. You know no truth making things up because you you talk to girls and you know who girls conflict with all the time girls other girls. Yes, exactly, girls don't conflict with dudes. They they like dudes don't even really exist. Dudes are just no, they're just objects that they may have, either control them or be controlled by them or, to be fair, we're pretty stupid men, boys. You know what I mean. Basically, we don't care about the things they carry.
Speaker 2We don't provide much in the intellectual categories, not really.
Speaker 1Not really. So just the whole idea that everyone over on Magic Island is going to have perfect lives because they're all good looking, You're like. No, there's always going to be the person that's more good looking, good looking.
Speaker 2I mean, I've seen the Housewives of Beverly Hills right Now. Those are some, you know, I guess, subjectively attractive people that are cosmetically enhanced and they don't really get along very well.
Confusion Over Dystopian Society
Speaker 1Not at any moment do they ever get along. So you know, your whole premise is just busted from the beginning, and what we're going to find out later is that when you go through the process they damage your brain with lesions. I mean, it's a frontal lobotomy right.
Speaker 2Like is that pretty much the same thing?
Speaker 1No, it's not a frontal lobotomy, because there's just lesions on your brain, lesions that can be solved with magic potion.
Speaker 2I mean we need to be able to reverse it so that it can't be a lobotomy. That's true. I can't just fill that back in. That'd be cool though.
Speaker 1So everyone is made to be compliant and made to be brain damaged so that they can be controlled.
Speaker 2By who and what Dr.
Speaker 1Cable.
Speaker 2You're like is it just DC over there? I don't understand the plan here. Who is benefiting from everyone falling in line, dr Cable, but why?
Speaker 3Can you?
Speaker 2tell me what makes Dr Cable happy about controlling people. I just don't understand the plan.
Speaker 1If you're in charge of everyone, then you're in charge of everyone. People like that.
Speaker 2Are they paying money to Dr Cable to live there?
Speaker 1No, but she gets to tell everybody what to do.
Speaker 2But it doesn't seem like Dr Cable is telling people what to do other than to be pretty, like once they're pretty. It doesn't seem like there's a grander plan.
Speaker 1To make everyone pretty, and then she'll be in control of everyone. She's like a cult leader. It's like a cult leader thing.
Speaker 2I mean, I guess I just don't see the benefit of it. And where is? Is this the only colony left?
Speaker 1No, there's multiple cities, supposedly.
Speaker 2Okay, so there's multiple leaders and they all just have their own pretty hives? Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1What is the they all?
Speaker 2just have their own pretty hives. Yeah, exactly. I don't know what the point is. Why Do they get together once a month and just talk about it? I don't get it.
Speaker 1If you look at the terrible leaders we have, well, yeah, they all just care about money.
Speaker 2They care about money, they care about oil.
Speaker 1They care about something.
Speaker 2But they also care about power and control.
Speaker 1I mean, that's true I just don't get it.
Speaker 2It's usually stupid. I just feel like let's take Hunger Games, for example. At least they're like the 1% right, Like they're staying rich by keeping people down. I get the hierarchy there In this world. It doesn't seem like that's what it is because they're just like, well, we're going to make you pretty and dumb.
Speaker 1Well, world, it doesn't seem like that's what it is because they're just like well, we're gonna make you pretty and dumb. Well, the higher the hierarchy, and then there's no other step to the process. As far as I can tell, there's no real hierarchy, because you're like who's who's doing the farms? Who's who's right? Who's making the fireworks? You know they have fireworks going off over there. Who's the? Who's the schlub that sits in the firework factory? Who's?
Speaker 2the pretty person that gets the terrible job.
Speaker 1I don't know I don't get it.
Speaker 2Because the classism still exists in there. It has to Because some people have to do shitty jobs, some people have to do great jobs, some people probably don't have jobs. I don't know. I don't understand the world.
Speaker 1And they do not do any work to explain it to you. No, and they do not do any work to explain it to you. No.
Speaker 2I'm curious if the book does better. If anyone's read that book, let me know. I doubt it.
Speaker 1I think all the people that read the book and the reviews I read are angry, Angry oh okay, well, that's great then. But you know these are wish fulfillment books, right? You're like, whose wishes? Oh, because teenage girls are all like I wish I was pretty. I can understand the conundrum of wanting to be myself or be pretty and the struggle that that would be. Kids like that I mean here's my other big problem. Yeah, that's your other big problem.
Speaker 2Give me your other big problem and my other big problem, dan, is that everyone pre-surgery is more attractive than themselves. Post-surgery they all get uglier and weirder looking. Yeah, every single one of them. Yes, that that movie falls apart. That movie like I don't put process. Do like a she's all that thing. Give Joey King glasses, maybe, I don't know. Do something to just make it seem like she's ugly, because when she turns into this weird AI gold piece of shit at the end I was like, well, she's terrifying she is. She is way scarier than she was just five minutes ago.
Speaker 1Well, I I agree with you, but I disagree with you because I think nose slash. Paris is the the real thing we have to look at, because she at least is like yeah, she's attractive girl. She turns into a girl. That's like looks like you've airbrushed her, yeah I'm like that's fine. You know there's a little bit of a difference. You know her skin looks different. You know skin she looks faker she just looks less.
Speaker 2She looks less human and less attractive. That seems weird and yeah, okay, continue.
Speaker 1The dude knows Knows yeah or petty.
Speaker 2He becomes like a freak he becomes like a 90s teen television, sci-fi, horror television monster, like he's like an old vampire that like we used to put as the bad guy in movie. He's not better looking. He doesn't become like a sex symbol. He was cute. He was cute it was in the beginning and then he's just weird as fuck.
Speaker 1The rest of the movie. He's got big, weird cheekbones.
Speaker 2So wouldn't Joey King's character have seen him pre and then post and been like, well, something's wrong here because this is not what I signed up for. I wanted to have sex with you earlier and now I do not. That seems backwards.
Speaker 1Yeah, and my favorite part of him. At one point they're showing him and his one eye is wide open and his other eyes sort of half shut.
Speaker 2I'm like which is interesting because that's how they described joey king. That's why they call her squint and I. I only saw her do that one time, but I feel like I saw him do it 12 times post-surgery yeah, so so you have your real name and then you have your your nickname which your, which is your flaw.
Speaker 2Have your nickname, which is your flaw, I don't know which is your flaw, and her nickname is Squint and I did not see that scene where she seemed to squint, so I never saw her squint, so I was like so she was talking to somebody who was on her left hand side and she turned and her left eye was squintier than her right eye while she looked at him and I was like I think that's just how eyes work. However, it does show that she's squinting in one and not in the other, but that was.
Speaker 1I think it was just on accident see now what they should have done was I'm sure the character in the book's name is squint- and so you know it has to be yeah you should have thrown that in the trash and you should have made up something else like, like you know, button nose or like.
Speaker 2Button nose, dirty ears, squirrel cheeks.
Speaker 1Squirrel cheeks. You know something terrible. You know that sort of accentuates, something that is a little lesser on her.
Speaker 2And then what about skinny? I don't understand.
Speaker 1Who's skinny Is that, Shay yeah?
Speaker 2Shay Shay's called skinny. She's not like Unhealthily skinny. She's not skinnier Than all the other people, she just looks.
Speaker 1Pretty normal. Gotta tell you something In our society and in that Society, being skinny not a negative thing.
Speaker 2No, no, it seems like a first of all. There are zero fat people here. By the way, there's a line in this movie when Paris, First of all.
Speaker 1There are zero fat people here by the way, there's a line in this movie where Paris is or no?
Speaker 2no, no, the David. David is like your society glues you to your screens. You don't move, as he's like doing manual labor. And I was like, if that were true, they would all look like me. I'm addicted to screens. I don't move and this is what it looks like, guys. It doesn't look like Paris. It doesn't look like Joey King, it looks like this as stupid as Ready Player One was sure you buy that kind of thing in that you know Ready Player One, totally dopey movie.
Speaker 1But you bought a percent. You know you're like the stupid dystopian world in Ready Player One. You're like, okay, I buy this, that's fine. Ready Player One You're like okay, I buy this.
Speaker 2That's fine. Yeah, it makes sense to me. I would totally jump into a video game all the time. Hook me up, baby. Give me a feeding tube, because I'm not getting out.
Speaker 1Well, there you go. Okay, we've talked a lot about this movie.
Speaker 2Sorry, yeah, I'm sorry. Here we go Back to one.
Speaker 1Okay, so here she is. Our girl is Tally. She's looking in the mirror. She's like what do you want? Do you want this, do you want that? Then we find out that she climbs up on the roofs and correct me if I'm wrong. Does it say that she sneaks into the city all the time?
Speaker 2later on, so I think that there are different parts of the city, right, and I think each layer becomes more secret Cause, yeah, I think they sneak into the outskirts all the time to kind of look in but, I, don't think. I think she's only really been in once, that one time.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2Okay, I just want to make sure. But Dan, dan, yeah, I have no idea.
Speaker 1Yeah, I just cause they dropped that information later on and you're like wait, what she acted like when she actually got snuck all the way in. She was like what the hell's happening here?
Speaker 2Yeah, man, it's confusing.
Quickly Formed Best Friendship
Speaker 1So she climbs up on the roof and there's her bro knows who is going in tomorrow to become pretty and she's all bummed because she doesn't get to go for three months. Yeah, it's so long, so long. And they both have, like, this shared scar on their hands.
Speaker 2Which it seems that they did themselves. It was like a blood pact type of thing, right.
Speaker 1Well, the one guy accidentally did it and then whoever the other one did it, to herself or something.
Speaker 2Yeah, like to match and they're like we're going to be best friends forever. Now it's called a blood pact. I'm telling you that's what it is.
Speaker 1Now, usually in these movies what you have is you have a what's that word? You know a differential in attraction, right, so she would be in love with him or he would be in love with her, and then that would be a thing in this thing. They're both just like. We're kind of best friends.
Speaker 2We don't really ever consider this, then you have the, the, the dynamic of like. When x is pretty, then I'll like you back. You know what I mean. Like I like you, you don't like me, but when, when I become pretty, we're you're gonna like me back, and that's why I can't wait to be pretty so that we can be together.
Speaker 1So he was into her. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2I'm saying that's what it should have been. I'm not saying I didn't understand their relationship at all.
Speaker 1Okay, yeah. Now in the attractional meter, who has the higher ground? Is it her or him? In their ugly face, I would have said he's the more attractive person and that she should be more in love with him.
Speaker 2That's how it should be. Yes, because that's our main character. Yeah, she should have to be ugly and want to get prettier.
Speaker 1No, no, no, no, the movie doesn't do that. I just mean, when they're both in their ugly, phase, nose and tally, he seems like he's the more attractive one and she should be lusting after him, right? Or she doesn't lust after him because he's not pretty.
Speaker 2See, that's the point I think maybe you're overthinking the movie Dan. Okay, I'm overthinking it Because I just don't think that that even exists. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1so they should. Their plan is that in 30 days after he gets changed he'll meet her somewhere on the bridge in a way that we don't understand how it could happen right because there's just like a bridge you can go on in between, like, but that seems pretty easy to sneak in.
Speaker 2Yeah, that seems like bad planning on the city's part.
Speaker 1So, boom, the graduation day. And then we find out that there's a secret place out in the hinterlands called the Smoke and there's a dude named David, and, yeah, that's the place where she's going to end up going.
Speaker 2That's it, that's the other choice. She going to end up going. That's it, that's the other choice.
Speaker 1She's back in her shitty apartment. This is one of my favorite things about the movie. She takes her Toothbrush pill.
Speaker 2Oh, for fuck's sake, why would you name it a Toothbrush pill? It's not a brush and a toothbrush isn't what Really cleans your teeth. It's toothpaste. Why would it just not a brush? It's and the toothbrush isn't what really cleans your teeth. It's toothpaste. Why would it just be a toothpaste pill? Why would it be a toothbrush pill? Does it when you pop it in? Is it some harry potter shit? And it like scrubs up your teeth for you? I don't think so. What a terrible name it's. That's embarrassing. That should be rewritten. If I would have wrote the movie, I would have been like're going to make one change from the book, guys, and we can't call it a toothbrush pill, because that's ridiculous.
Speaker 1It was great. I loved it. It was great.
Speaker 2It's my favorite thing in the world.
Speaker 1Now we have the flashback to when they cut their hands.
Speaker 2I just don't care. They're in class. They have to give to talk about how the Rusty sucked. What are they learning in school? Just how bad the old world was and how good the new world is. What about math? What about science?
Speaker 1No, they're not going to need that, they're going to be partying Because they're pretty people.
Speaker 2Yeah, and pretty people don't need to learn things.
Speaker 1You don't need to trade, let's see. You don't need to trade, let's see. She sneaks out to oh, she sneaks out because she hasn't heard from Nose, so she's like I'm going to sneak to the town. No, no. She sneaks out to go to wait at the bridge. Nose doesn't show up, so then she sneaks across the bridge.
Speaker 2So you don't think that they would change their numbers If you go from ugly to pretty, you think you just keep your same phone number. I feel like it's like a fresh start and you get your new number.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2It just seems weird, because their whole point is detaching from the ugly phase of your life.
Speaker 1Right, it's pretty easy to give them a new thing.
Speaker 2That sort of thing. So like why wouldn't you just get a new phone number so that the people that used to know you can't text you ugly n?
Speaker 1yeah it's weird, makes sense it seems weird, I don't know there's a mask laying on the ground, she puts it on.
Speaker 2It's a pig, so she's isn't that a fun like metaphor thing?
Speaker 1yeah, it's really stupid super weird and then she just it's you know, within minutes finds him on a rooftop party and yeah, like so fast he's good, she's like why didn't you call me? And he's all like you know when you're pretty, you're pretty, and you'll get it when you're pretty. Okay, cool bro.
Speaker 2And then my favorite part of the movie happens. What happens? Her face gets scanned and the computer's like ugly person alert. Ugly person alert Police. We have an ugly person. It's great. That's how I feel every day of my life.
Speaker 1It says unwelcome individual detected.
Speaker 2I'm sorry, unwelcome individual Might as well just say ugly person. She's horrendous Arrest her.
Speaker 1Are you okay, tony? Does the world get at you? Do they like people with the parents, with the children, the children point at you.
Speaker 2I just want to be pretty Dan.
Speaker 1All right.
Speaker 2Just give me the surgery, let's go.
Speaker 1Well, you can do that all here, right.
Speaker 2I don't have any money. All right, you got it. They just do it for free.
Speaker 1That's the crazy part, right, they're like well, you're 16. Now you?
Speaker 2get all the free cosmetic surgery you want. Congratulations, what a world.
Speaker 1So then she's like trying to run away and then she's on the precipice and she jumps off a building. But I guess at some point she stole a bungee jump.
Speaker 2I guess when was that hiding? I don't understand man. I think she stole it from somebody.
Speaker 1We were just like not paying that much attention. So she jumps and it's like bungee jump, which just means that you don't die when you get to the bottom.
Speaker 2Which, by the way, not what a bungee jump is, because a bungee jump you go shooting right back up To where you came from and then you come back down and you shoot back up. She'd be there for five minutes caught, easily caught. That's not a bungee jump.
Speaker 1Stupid idiot who wrote this book then she runs, and then she gets to the bridge, and then here come the you know the blade runner, cop cars yeah, yeah, I got it she jumps off or falls off or something's off and then random asian girl saves her on her hoverboard yeah, this was a huge letdown for me.
Speaker 2Why was that a letdown? Because the hoverboards were teased in the trailer and I love a good hoverboard and these were bad hoverboards why were they bad? And it just didn't look very good and like when, when we get to the training sequence, it looks, looks really bad.
Speaker 1It just doesn't work, Like when the hoverbird goes whoop and then she falls off.
Speaker 2Yeah, some cartoon shit.
Speaker 1So they escape and she's all like, oh, now we're best friends. Yeah, now we're best friends. Why weren't we best friends before? I don't know, but now we're best friends.
Speaker 2It reminds me of the Step Brothers John Stamos Did we just become best friends Like. That's how quick it is and nonsensical, except for it's not played as a joke in this movie. They're like we're supposed to buy in. They immediately become best friends for no reason.
Speaker 1Because they break into the kitchen and they eat a lot of food, which I do love doing that Again.
Speaker 2No fat people in this movie, though, so the cupcakes that they eat.
Speaker 1You think they're like calorie-free, so the other thing. So Tali can use her magic ring and she can go, go, go go, go, go, go, go, go, go go.
Speaker 2Yeah, what's she doing? She's twisting a ring. Cupcake she's bending the circuits. I'm bending the circuits of the ring. That's science that makes a lot of sense. Here's what I'm going to tell you. Dan, I play with my wedding ring constantly. I would be controlling shit all the time and not meaning to All the microwaves on. God damn it. So stupid. I did not like this device. It's pretty cool, it's pretty cool, man pretty cool, gives her power everything okay, so they so uh.
Speaker 1Shay asked her about the city. She says it's super cool, um, and then yeah, whatever. And they find out they have the exact same birthday. That's weird.
Speaker 2Totally unnecessary, it feels, Except for, you know, we have to know that she doesn't show up. I guess I don't know.
Speaker 1So they practice. So Shay's going to teach Tally how to hoverboard. They have a practice session and, I believe, does Tally get it perfectly at this point. Yeah.
Speaker 2Well, yeah, it takes her a couple tries here.
Speaker 1Then Shade gives her a book and she's like is this a book? And Henry David Thoreau's Whatchamacallit book? Now this is interesting to me, there are no books, no books. Books are bad.
Speaker 2Because pretty people don't read? Yeah, because books are for ugly people.
Speaker 3Yes, is that the message that we're?
Speaker 2sending. Yes, as the people who are reading a book. Yes, they would be reading a book and being like I must be ugly because I have a book and books are only for ugly people.
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 2That's a weird message to send to people reading your book.
Speaker 1Yes. But you see, that makes the teenage girl go. Oh, I'm a rebel.
Speaker 2Now I need to be prettier.
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 2So this guy's plan just to make a bunch of teenage girls depressed about how ugly?
Speaker 1they are. No, they're like I read books and cool Tally reads books and I'll be pretty but I'll also be myself and it'll be just great. But she does the surgery. Of course she does the surgery.
Speaker 2The end of the movie she does and she becomes pretty.
Speaker 1Yes, because Tony gets a spoiler. He gets his spoilers.
Speaker 2Sorry, Spoiler alert everybody Rewind.
Speaker 1Okay so, boom, boom, boom. Okay, wait, we got all this. There's so much shit that happened in this movie. Okay so Skinny talks about how she's going to flee to the smoke and not have the thing, but let's Wait what's happening. Oh no, we do the skate part first.
Speaker 3Yeah, this is weird.
Speaker 1You're able to just magically create an entire skate park.
Speaker 2Terraform, you can just terraform shit Out of nothing. I don't get it, dan, it's pretty nice.
Speaker 3I don't get it.
Speaker 1Sure, they design a skate park and then tomorrow they're going to have some fun, so they sneak out out to the river and then you can cross over, because the river has metal in it.
Speaker 2I believe they tell us that there's metal in the river it's the classic, like the dan goodsell just give them a line. Just give them a line, it'll work. Sometimes it doesn't work.
Speaker 1I don't need it sometimes well, you give them a line that makes some, you know, like if we crawl down here, you we're like under where the fence senses. You Like okay as opposed to there's metal in the river and they can't detect you. Oh, okay, oh there's metal.
Speaker 1It's fine guys, you know there's like a you know a pipe that you crawl through. Ah, now we're on the other side of the fence. They look back, they see the fence, oh, we're on the other side. So they go surfing down the river, which is pretty cool, sure, sure. And then they get to the rusty ruins and they see Chicago and they go up on this one building and then they light a fire so that David knows that she's there to leave, and Shay's like come with me. And she's all like nah, I want to be pretty, okay, I'll see you later. This is like my other favorite thing. And here she hands her. This piece of paper are secret directions on how to get to the smoke that only you'll understand that only you'll understand.
Speaker 2But then she reads them later and it's like no, they make pretty, they make sense, I get it. I get it too. I could have escaped, and I'm pretty dumb.
Speaker 1You are Okay, so you got the thing Right the way she cries what's Tally's last name?
Speaker 2Do they say it? Oh, they do. Oh, they must. When they announce Her name? Oh no, they don't. I don't know what's her last name Youngblood. Like the musician, I wonder when Youngblood chose his name. I wonder if he chose it based on this fucking book series.
Speaker 1Maybe he did.
Speaker 2I hope he didn't. That's a dumb last name.
Speaker 3So here we are.
Speaker 1The magic day of transformation, everybody gets taken except her. She gets flown to the super mansion under special circumstances.
Speaker 2Did you have a problem with this man's voice, that he talks like this?
Speaker 3Talia.
Speaker 2Why is it so weird and they don't show his face? He's like headless for almost the whole time and his voice is just so Muppety. It's really weird. I don't know.
Speaker 1That just shows he has a lot of control over the situation. Oh, okay, Okay yeah, then we meet Dr Cable and I was like is Dr Cable a robot? Dr Cable is played by Laverne Cox. Yeah, who's a trans woman? Sure, yep, and she's the only evil person we have. Yeah, I just found it weird. It is weird that it's.
Speaker 1I mean, I think a trans woman should have all opportunities to play everything, but when you have a trans woman as your main evil villain character who's doing brain damage to all the young people so as to control them, that's just a weird.
Speaker 2It a weird message. That's weird message. Not only that she's in charge of a system that, like, transforms your body, but that is a negative thing in this, in this world. It's socially. It's a weird choice. It choice. It's a real weird choice.
Speaker 1I mean, you know, we want her to have opportunities 100%.
Speaker 2And she's great. Let's be clear she's great in the movie.
Speaker 1She's spooky and creepy and weird.
Speaker 2She is spooky yeah.
Teenage Movie Critique and Personal Stories
Speaker 1And you're like oh okay and intimidating and intimidating and unsettling and it's great and she plays the role incredibly well, but it's just like from a political sort of social political standpoint, it just seems like a weird place for her to be. Seems a little weird. Did it tilt the movie? No, because the movie's terrible, but it just seems like there were people that could give this movie a lot of grief because of this. And since no one knows this movie exists, nothing happens.
Speaker 2Right, right, are they going to make a sequel? You think, speaking of nobody, knowing it exists? Not a chance.
Speaker 1This movie very hated, very, very hated, very hated.
Speaker 2I'm going to give it two thumbs up on Netflix, just to see if I can. You know, twist the algorithm a little, get a sequel.
Speaker 1You know how many things on Netflix do they like, not do anything else on, and they spent a bunch of money on this.
Speaker 2I mean it looks pretty good. We haven't talked about that, but I think in general it looks pretty good and the soundtrack is a vibe man. I love the soundtrack. At some point there's's like this wonderful Postal Service cover Really knocked it out of the park.
Speaker 1Well, it is a McG.
Speaker 2Oh he's the director McG directed this Well, see, there you go. He knows how to make a vibe. Can't fix stupid, though. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1You have to give McGcgee an actual script because he is not going to.
Speaker 2Yeah, figure out where the problems are, he'll jazz it up you know he'll make it look fun, but the certain you know, below the surface we have a lot going on and I mean that's the thing about this movie.
Speaker 1Is this terrible movie? Terrible movie but not a terrible movie to watch? I, I was not, it's not a terribly made film?
Speaker 2No, which is, you know, it's a well-made film based on an awful script and a horrible premise. Yes, because even like the acting's solid, you know, I don't have anyone that I feel like wasn't bringing their weight. It looks good, it sounds good, it's just real dumb.
Speaker 1And you know, maybe in a different age, you know, a movie like this could have gone into theaters and only been seen by the people that should be seeing it, which is 16-year-old girls. Those are the only people that should be watching this movie.
Speaker 2Well, I watched all of those movies. But here's the interesting thing I watched them all too, you have to Of course.
Speaker 3I've watched. I know, Mr Twilight. I've watched Twilight's the greatest film of all time.
Speaker 1I've watched all the Maze Runners. I watched Insurgent, oh God.
Speaker 2Dylan O'Brien Love that guy.
Speaker 1The Maze Runners were about the best ones, I think. I mean other than the first Hunger Games which is a great movie, but the Mace Riders were okay. You were like I like all these characters and it's weird and interesting yeah no, totally Again, a world that I enjoyed.
Speaker 2It doesn't make a ton of sense, but I still enjoyed it. But what you bring up an interesting point when you think about it in that lens is all of these movies or all of these books that were all kind of around the same time. They all got made into movies 15 years ago. Oh yeah, too long. There has to be a reason this one didn't get picked back then you know what I mean.
Speaker 1Oh, I'm sure it's been in development hell like yeah because?
Speaker 2because every time they make a script, they're like well, this is bad, it's not as good as these other ones we already did, guys, we can't release it and netflix.
Speaker 1I mean, that's the thing about netflix, is they just have to keep firing shit at the wall and then whatever hits?
Speaker 2thank goodness they do, because on it, like on a night where I don't know what to do, I just turn on some bullshit on netflix. You know it's fine, do you see?
Speaker 1that new one where the woman is paralyzed and she can only communicate by blinking. No, no she didn't. It's like a serial killer's out to get her and he's poisoned her and she can't move her body, and so then she has to survive somehow.
Speaker 2By blinking?
Speaker 1Yeah, by blinking Does she crawl along the floor, opening and closing her eyes like a worm. That would be a scene I'd like to watch 45 minutes. She's like, goes two feet.
Speaker 3No, there's like a prospector or something you know.
Speaker 1Guy with a beard no, oh what's happening? You young lady, you know blink.
Speaker 2Oh, you're saying yes, with one blink and two no, two blinks please tell me this takes place in the year 2025 and there's a prospector the year 2025.
Speaker 1Oh, I see what you're saying. I thought you were saying like in 1825, and this is no.
Speaker 2No, I want it to be today, and there's an old-timey prospector, a woman who can't move but blink. This is a movie that I want to see.
Speaker 1What a great film okay, okay, so so look.
Speaker 2Uh, so dr cable explains that shea is missing, and so she was just wondering if she knew where she was oh, right, yeah, this is the first time and there's like a heart monitor in the back so they know that she's lying or something sort of. They don't really bring it up and they don't really use anything against her, so and there's like a heart monitor in the back so they know that she's lying or something Sort of.
Speaker 1They don't really bring it up and they don't really use anything against her. So she's got to be a little cautious. I've got to be cautious about what I say.
Speaker 3Okay.
Speaker 1So they send her back to the dorms, and this is another great scene. She's going back to the dorms and then you have like the whispering off. You know, like the people, what is she doing back here? Why is she back? She's going to be here forever?
Speaker 2Is that even possible? Of course not. Like. Are there some 30 to 40 year old kids like just hiding out in their dorms because they never got chosen?
Speaker 3I don't understand.
Speaker 2I would love to like if one of the things that kids do on Halloween was like visit the old witch lady. That were from you know, I don't know. I would love to like if one of the things that kids do on Halloween was like visit the old witch lady. I don't know, it's interesting.
Speaker 1Those would all be things that could happen if this movie was interesting.
Speaker 3She's been here for 45 years. Can you believe?
Speaker 1it. Nose is in her room and he's all like you've got to help.
Speaker 2So she decides to help and then she doesn't realize this is a setup. How dumb is this girl? She's very, very clear. She wants nothing to do with you. And then, on the day that the doctor cables like I need your help, he just happens to crawl in your room.
Speaker 1Okay, Hold on, hold on. Let's go back to 16 year old Tony. How dumb was 16 year old Tony.
Speaker 2Pretty much the same amount of dumb as I am now. I don't believe that. It's pretty dumb, Dan. I don't believe that.
Speaker 1I do not believe that you had the same understanding of the world.
Speaker 2What did you?
Speaker 1think was going to happen in your life when you were 16?
Speaker 2Same thing, I think, happens now. I'm going to be a famous actor, dan, so you're completely delusional. For now and ever. You better believe it. When I was 17, we were trying to impress some girls, so we stole my dad's muscle car.
Speaker 1You- stole your dad's car. You stole your dad's car.
Speaker 2Yeah, so he had some. It was like a red Camaro, like a real sexy Camaro. How are you alive? He didn't find out about it. My mom found out about it and she is. You know, she's my mom, she doesn't.
Speaker 1She's a sweet lady so she's like I'm not gonna tell him, but you really shouldn't do this so yeah, well, okay, your dad has never found out you stole his car. He might, might know now I don't know.
The Roller Coaster Hoverboard Adventure
Speaker 2I know that he didn't know then because he let me drive it to prom that year, so he would have never done that if he knew that I took it without asking Stole your dad's car. That is terrible, like that's rare, please. People do it all the time, yeah. People don't survive, wasn't there a news story about like a six-year-old that like stole their mom's car and drove to Target or something recently there.
Speaker 1Absolutely was there absolutely was.
Speaker 2It's the same idea you know?
Speaker 1Okay. So they tell her that David is developing a weapon to destroy the city. You need to go undercover. Here's's like a magic pendant that you can signal us, and she's like I'm all in Dan.
Speaker 2So this pendant shot out bright light or something right.
Speaker 1You mean when she threw it in the fire?
Speaker 2No, because they held it out and they were like look at it. And then she looked at it and then it like flashed and she was like ow my eyes. Oh, I don't remember that. I didn't understand what was happening.
Speaker 1Magic, magic.
Speaker 2All right, it doesn't matter, I was just confused.
Speaker 1Now we're going to get to Tony's favorite scene. She goes out into the wild.
Speaker 2and there was this roller coaster we saw and the start of the thing that she has to do is she has to hoverboard on the roller coaster until you fall off. Uh-huh, um. Okay, dan, why I'm? Why would everyone fall off at the same spot? Because there was like it was broken right there. You couldn't she couldn't make the joke okay, because I don't know if you know this, but roller coasters don't have an ending right, they're a loop, they're an infinite loop. That's kind of their thing.
Speaker 1If you take an axe. But you're saying it was broken. If you take an axe, yeah, it was broken in a couple of spots. She made the one jump and then that was a big gap and then she fell through.
Speaker 2So couldn't you just kind of look at it and be like, okay, well, there's where I would fall off. And then here are train tracks, I'll just go down those. Why would you have to ride the whole thing just to find the part that's empty?
Speaker 1Not as dynamic.
Speaker 2You got me there. I can't argue that.
Speaker 1Why would you be going full speed, wouldn't you be like?
Speaker 2Right, you're on a roller coaster.
Speaker 1It's pretty dangerous without your seat thing down when I don't know where I'm going. You know what I do? I slow down.
Speaker 2I go faster Because I'm a YOLO. Do people still say YOLO? No?
Speaker 1She finds some train tracks, follows the train tracks and then she's in nature. She climbs Half Dome, she jumps a chasm, Then she falls asleep in Poppy Fields and then they get set on fire.
Speaker 2Right, right, what I don't know.
Speaker 1Meanwhile, back at the town, dr Cable is taking nose and she's giving him Wolverine surgery.
Speaker 2Yeah, now, that's the one I would do Super soldier serum.
Speaker 1But you got even more lesions on your brain. You're dumber, I'm fine.
Speaker 2I wouldn't worry about it. That's true. I wouldn't worry about it, it's okay, but you don't really know it. You know what I mean. You're not aware of how dumb you are. So that's fine, ignorance is bliss.
Speaker 1So she wakes up. The poppy field is on fire. David saves her and she's all like uh-oh. He scans her for tracking devices. There's one in her bag, but the signaling device does not come up.
Speaker 2Right, but then it still works right, because that's how they find them later, isn't it?
Speaker 1Oh yeah, when she throws the thing in the fire, it's going to alert them to where she's at.
Speaker 2Because it's that signal when it flashes.
Speaker 1That's the signal If you stomp on it, it's still going to tell them where you are. It doesn't you know? You can't destroy it. She should have just. She's just buried it in the ground. That's what I sure she should have. Put it in one of those caves, like deep in one of those caves, that's what I did?
Speaker 2the terranium. What? What kind of metal did he say was blocking it? Oh, did he turn? He said some sort of he. Oh yeah, they can't see this because there's turnostinium.
Speaker 1Yeah, there was turnostinium in there. It's good metal. The bad guy said two specials to go follow where the signal was.
Speaker 2Oh, they're called the specials. That's the third book, oh, is it? Well, I don't know. You said specials, isn't that so it goes? Ugl't know you said specials, isn't that so it goes. Uglies pretties specials extras.
Speaker 1Extras.
Speaker 2Is that what it is?
Speaker 1I believe it is.
Speaker 2Alright, okay, so does she become all of those things? Is that what this is about?
Speaker 1You know she's got to save society a lot of times. Oh no, maybe I think the third set of books is called. The second set of books is called Imposters. They wrote three of those, so there's seven books.
Speaker 2So does that mean the first four books don't have a true ending?
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean I'm assuming at the end of the second book. There's probably kind of an ending.
Speaker 2I guess you're going to have to read them. And let me know, Dan, because I'm not going to read this. Yeah, that's never happening.
Speaker 1So boom, she gets there. They take her to this little place before the smoke and there's Shay, and you know Shay's gone full jungle because she has a little piece of burlap on the top of her outfit.
Speaker 2Yeah, a burlap on the top of her outfit yeah, she fits right in. Let's, let's be clear. Can we talk about just for one second, dan, how good looking david is. He's? In my opinion, he's the best looking person in the film. Um, oh, you don't think so who do you you like?
Speaker 1I mean, I'm trying to think if there was anybody.
Speaker 2Wow, Dan truly believes they all are ugly Wow.
Speaker 1No, I mean he's attractive. I didn't find him charismatic.
Speaker 2I mean that's fine, yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 1Didn't find him charismatic. So it turns out, let's see, she's got some burlap. Shay's all like where'd you get that necklace? Where'd you get that necklace? What's up with that necklace? Oh, necklace, necklace, necklace, necklace, necklace.
Speaker 2And then don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, it's cool.
Speaker 1And she tells you she's like I just came to bring you back, shay. That's it, shay's like. I just came to bring you back, shay. That's it. Shay's like really, okay, I don't want to go back. Don't tell anyone. So it turns out that the flowers that give them infinite power are ruining the Earth. They're like a plague, and everywhere they go our planet, it just leaves dead Earth. And so they have a helicopter and then they fly over the helicopter hold on, they have a solar powered helicopter oh, did it say solar powered?
Speaker 1because they're all environmentalists.
Speaker 2They're like don't worry, it doesn't use gas anymore, it's solar powered tony, I'm gonna tell you something right now.
Speaker 1The fuck does that work?
Speaker 2I'm about to tell you something right now. The fuck does that work, Tony? I'm about to tell you something. Tell me something.
Speaker 1No no Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
Speaker 2I saw it in the movie. I saw it in the movie. They did it.
Speaker 1It's like we get infinite power from poppies and somehow we're going to put all those batteries in the helicopter and then the helicopter's going to pick them up.
Speaker 2And it's fine. Yeah, it's doing great. It flies all over the place.
Speaker 1What they do is they fly in their little helicopter with a flamethrower, tony.
Speaker 2That I assume also doesn't use gasoline. Is that what you're going to tell me right now? That's my question.
Speaker 1I was going to ask you. It's a solar powered flamethrower. That's so stupid and then they fly over there and flamethrower the the boppies, and then the the bad guys show up and then she falls out and then tally's all like let me grab this rope and rappel down and then pick up shea, and then you'll pull me up. Pick up Shay, and then you'll pull me up.
Speaker 2But hold on, there's more steps in here, because these fast moving blue people, the blue man groups, coming in hot Right and she throws the bag, a bag that she used to bring the rope down. I didn't totally understand, but she throws a bag and hits one of them. So, he's within throwing distance of a bag he got bagged she grabs her friend, tugs the rope, gets pulled up in the helicopter all before that. Guy can close five feet.
Speaker 1Hit by a bag.
Speaker 3This guy's totally disoriented right now. That's.
Speaker 1Achilles heel. You know Wolverine's coming for you, Throw a bag at him. Throw a bag. No, not the bag. I watched the Wolverine and Deadpool movie.
Speaker 2Oh fuck, I still haven't seen it. No spoilers, but how is it Not great? Oh, no, really.
Speaker 1It's fine, it's funny, you know.
Speaker 2Okay, I mean, funny is good.
Speaker 1You know it's fine and funny, but it's just. And what's her name? Emma, as the bad woman, she good.
Speaker 2Emma.
Speaker 1Thompson, corrin.
Speaker 2I don't even know who this is.
Speaker 1She's young. We watched the show with her where she plays a detective computer hacker person, which she was good, and then she played Princess Diana in the Crown.
Speaker 2Oh, okay, okay, Interesting she's, which was, she was good, and then she played princess diana in the crown.
Speaker 1Oh, okay, okay she's interesting she's, but the movie left me wow okay, I'm gonna try, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2I'm gonna have to watch it asap didn't watch the last 10 minutes.
Speaker 1I'm gonna get around to it, but didn't.
Speaker 2Didn't even finish the last 10 minutes dan it's just wrapping it up. You got to see how it finishes. Good Lord, you got problems man.
Speaker 1Was that generally unenthused about the movie?
Speaker 2Didn't finish it Like oh we got 10 minutes left, Eh, nah, Later. Nah, that's too much work right now. I've watched an hour 57. I'm done.
Speaker 1Okay, so they get there, they inhale all this smoke unaffected, cory cory. This other dude, bald dude, doesn't, still doesn't trust them, and then shay's gonna be like sure what the smoke is all about and dan I have.
Speaker 2I have a question because they get mad at uh joey for leading those people there, but if they're out torching fields of poppies, that these people use.
Speaker 1It's almost like a thing you might notice.
Speaker 2They would know, they'd be like okay, I know exactly where they are, I don't understand.
Speaker 1Don't you think you'd have people guarding your poppies or paying attention to them? Sure.
Speaker 2Even if not guarding, you would have someone that checks on them every once in a while Because you've got to. Who collects them? Robots maybe? I don't know, you don't show me anything, but someone would notice and be like, well, that wasn't torched yesterday. That seems weird.
Speaker 1So I say you're sitting there watching this movie with a person sitting next to you that read the books. Yes, you didn't think to ask her any of these questions.
Speaker 2Listen. Sometimes if I ask too many questions, sometimes she gets mad at me.
Speaker 1Why does she get mad at you? What does that mean? She gets mad at you.
Speaker 2She's trying to watch the movie. She's so into it. Not that she's into it, but she's like why are you still talking to me? I'm trying to listen to the movie, you know.
Speaker 1She doesn't have to listen to the movie, she can just read the subtitles.
Speaker 2She listen, I she sometimes she says things about like cause she reads the subtitles. She's like oh, I can't believe he said this and I'm like what do you mean? That's what he said. I didn't even hear that. But she knows so much more because she reads it. I can't do both.
Speaker 1So you don't listen or read the subtitles.
Speaker 2Well, so we watch this show called Below Deck. We're hitting that hard and some of these people have strong accents because they're from around the world and I'm not great with accents because I'm from Minnesota and I'm not cultured.
Speaker 2You're terrible and sometimes I'm just Minnesota and I'm, you know, not cultured. You're terrible. And sometimes I'm just like I, I don't know what they're saying, but instead of being curious, I just tune it out. You know what I mean. I'm just like, ah, it probably can't be that important, I'll get it on the next scene. And then she's like oh, did you hear what he said? That's so crazy. I don't know what you're talking out right now. He didn't say. All I heard was blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like the Snoopy adult characters.
Speaker 1Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, Wah, wah, wah wah. So she's having a fitful night because she's starting to be conflicted over how perfect the smoke is and how terrible the world she came from was.
Speaker 2Yeah. So here's what like her two choices right are like this Stepford Wives bullshit or a hippie commune. I mean, neither are great choices.
Speaker 1So she walks out of the tent and there's naked David in the lake masturbating.
Speaker 2Wait, is that what he's doing?
Speaker 1That was a test, Tony.
Speaker 3Listen, not only do I believe it, but I support it.
Speaker 2Good for you, guy, because he's got free will. All right. None of those pretty people are over there choosing that. Come on now.
Speaker 1They go to the smoke and they talk about we grow food and everyone has to choose to be here and you're going to have to work and be a part of our society. And then she battalions there under circumstances looking for the weapon. So she searches for the weapon and she goes into places she can't and Corey sees her and Corey's like none of your business.
Speaker 2Okay, that's basically all he says. She like. What is that? He's like? Don't worry about it, she's okay, do they? That's it. That's the scene. They never go back to that place, do they never, once no no, but, dan, there's a line here where she's like you'll be amazed at how good the food tastes.
Speaker 3Yes, because you're not when to grow it yourself.
Speaker 2And here's what I'm going to tell you, and this might upset some people. So I feel terrible. Organic food tastes like dirt. There's not more flavor no, no. There's not more flavor. Let me tell you. Let me tell you what If I eat. No, let me tell you what If I eat.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 2Yes, because I need high fructose corn syrup, extra sugar, extra salt, otherwise it tastes bland. I need it. Well, I'm just going to say, okay, yeah, tell me.
Speaker 1If you get strawberries. We used to go to the strawberry stand in Orange County. Okay, no, you're going to be right, strawberries. We used to go to the strawberry stand in.
Speaker 2Orange County.
Speaker 1Okay, no, you're going to be right you go to the real strawberry place as opposed to the. If you buy the world's biggest mutant strawberries. Those mutant strawberries taste like shite.
Speaker 2You get good strawberries. You're just like oh my God.
Speaker 1It's the greatest thing I've ever tasted.
Speaker 2Yeah, okay, I'll agree with fresh fruit, so shut up, and maybe vegetables, but is that all they're eating? Wait a second.
Speaker 1Hold on. So what you're saying is, their candy bars aren't going to be as good as our candy bars Candy bars are going to be bad.
Speaker 2Their fast food's going to be terrible. All right, taco Bell is not going to be very good. How am I supposed to get delicious ground beef? That's only 10% meat.
Speaker 1All right, this is Stanley. Your Taco Bell is terrible, thank you.
Speaker 2This Crunchwrap Supreme is not very good.
Speaker 1Crunchwrap Supreme is what I call it. Oh Okay, at dinner David gives a big speech. We must achieve our goal. David spends time teaching her crossbow. It was good that she knew the crossbow for the end of the movie, when she needed to crossbow so much.
Speaker 2Maybe that's coming in the sequel. She crossbowed one dude, oh okay. It didn't seem to stop him, though. You know what I mean Like, so it wasn't that great of a skill.
Speaker 1He gives her these gloves.
Speaker 2Did he make a big deal out of it?
Speaker 1No, he's just like here's some gloves.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1Here's some gloves.
Speaker 2When she had them and the friend is like that's a huge deal, I didn't even remember it happening. I was like I guess he did give her the gloves, but I don't remember there being like a moment with it.
Speaker 1Well, there wasn't really, because there wasn't a moment. All right, yeah, all right, cool he should have like stroked her hair and goes like here's some gloves. Oh, that's sexy, yeah, gloves.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1These two scouts, the two of their people, show up. The scouts have been attacking. And who administers the field first aid? Joey King, because she probably learned a lot of first aid, first aid. Where did she learn first aid I?
Speaker 2guess in school, but she didn't know how to make a fire, like those two things. I know they're not the same, like I understand that, but I just feel like where would you learn some survival skills and not other survivals they would have no survival skills you gotta wrap it to stop the clotting or help the clotting. And I was like, why would you know? That she would not know. I don't know, I don't get it.
Speaker 1Boom, david preaches to her about social change and then she's all like blah, blah, blah. In the dorms they say you have a weapon. He's like come on, and he goes to see his parents and her parents are old and his parents are doctors. And then they give us all the back story about how there's lesions on the brain. They were against Dr Cable and then they had to flee. But they've been here and they've figured out how to make a thing to fix everything. But there's a super magic special second component that's only in the city and they've got to go get that yeah, it seems a little complicated well, it's no, it seems very straightforward.
Speaker 1See, that's. It's the exact opposite of complicated. It's like if we just put these two compounds together, everything will be solved but how do they know that, having not done it, you know? What I mean scientists? Well, they don't know, because they're gonna have to test. I don't understand science here well, right, but so.
Speaker 2But they make it sound like they know it's gonna work, but we haven't tested it. But like you don't know, you don't know what's gonna happen when you put these things together. Also, when they call it her lab over and over again, it's not much of a lab Hunt.
Speaker 1Dirty Hunt.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's a bad lab.
Speaker 1Would you really want somebody doing science in that, operating on you?
Speaker 2Well, no, because it should be a sterile room, and that's the opposite of sterile. What's the opposite of sterile, dirty that room.
Speaker 1Bacteria-ridden.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, like you're dead, You're going to get sepsis so quick.
Speaker 1We were watching that TV show Rome. Did you ever watch that show on HBO? I did yeah no, yeah, hbo Rome. Yeah, we watched it. What's-his-name gets in a fight and he gets hurt. He comes back to what's-his-name the other guy's house and they have to bring in the doctor and they cut open his head because his head is bleeding. Oh God.
Speaker 3I couldn't watch it.
Speaker 1Shannon, who can do anything right.
Speaker 2Shannon's just like yeah, whatever, it's fine, I get it, I get it.
Speaker 1She's like oh my God, Too much. Oh my God, oh my God, I'm just like this.
Speaker 2I'm like hiding from it. You know this show, you're just like ah, so stupid, give us something visceral, something we can keep our teeth into. Yeah, come on. Children's movie.
Speaker 1So she's convinced, she throws the necklace in the fire. She confesses everything to David, but David says it's fine. Then he's like what do you want? She's like I've done bad, maybe I deserve to be beautiful, be ugly. And then he's like you're beautiful. Then he kisses her. Was that too much? You didn't like that, did you?
Speaker 2No, I liked it.
Speaker 1Okay, you liked it.
Speaker 2Okay, yeah, no, I thought it was nice. You know like that when he does that soft petting on the cheek.
Speaker 1I would have succumbed as well, Next morning they come out of the same tent.
Speaker 2Yes, Are they doing it? Phoning Right Like come on A little loose Loosey-goosey you probably put a baby in her. Oh, maybe that's the fourth movie. She's like 16 years old, that's all.
Speaker 1Maybe that's the fourth movie. She's like 16 years old. That's what I'm saying, man. How old is Joey King, though? She's probably like 22 or something.
Speaker 2Oh, she's gotta be. I thought she was like 27, but I'm sure I'm wrong. Joey King 25, right in between what we thought.
Speaker 1And then the scouts attack. Everyone gets captured Except them. David and her who who are seven feet away, watching from behind something with their heads completely apparent.
Speaker 2And wouldn't those be the two that you're definitely trying to capture? Oh, they're yelling at all the people.
Speaker 1Where's David? Where's David? David's like he's right over there. He's right there, I see him.
Speaker 2He's right there. There, I see him. He's right there. Where is he?
Speaker 1Oh yeah, good stuff. They bring out the parents and then Nose kills the dad.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 1And then they run out. We're running out. And then, of course, she immediately Confesses everything to Dr Cable. You didn't tell me that people get hurt. What did you? Think was going to happen More importantly, what recourse do you expect by saying that to her?
Speaker 2Sure, you'll be like oh shoot, you're right, my bad, oh, we can't bring them back, let everybody go.
Speaker 1Oh, why would You're right?
Speaker 2My bad, oh, we can't bring him back. Let everybody go. Oh, why would we?
Speaker 1do it. So Shay is betrayed, everyone is betrayed, except, I think, corey. I think Corey's good with it. He's all like well, I knew it.
Speaker 2He's pretty chill. Yeah, he's a chill dude. I'd hang out with him.
Speaker 1So Dr Cable's like we're going to take you all back. Getting procedure tally runs, starts a fire, blows up things, um, the bad guy smashed the lab and then Her and David just sort of get Away. How did they get away?
Speaker 2yeah, how did they get away? They just walked, I think. As far as I could tell, they just kind of Took off in a direction and no one Followed. And now, well, because Because dr Cable's like don't worry, she'll Come to us seems Like a bad plan why?
Speaker 1why would she come to us? Seems like a bad plan.
Speaker 2Why, why would she come to us? Because she's capturing all her friends.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, that's true. David is now mad at her. Every word you said was a lie. I didn't mean for this to happen, I'm so sorry. And then she's all like and then he's not mad, he's not mad, he's not mad. Well, he needs her now.
Speaker 2This is one of my favorite lines of the whole movie. Okay, all right. He's like I can't trust you and she says you don't have to trust me, you just have to follow me. Which is pretty much the same thing, because you're going to have to trust someone to follow them. You don't have to trust me, you just have to follow me and do what I say and basically trust me. Otherwise you're going to die. You're fucked. Terrible line, horribly written.
Speaker 1They take the copter, they land the copter like right up behind the dorms. They go, they get the three kids and they're all like, okay, you three kids, you're now part of the rebellion. They're like, yeah, rebellion, yeah, part of the rebellion. They're like, yeah rebellion.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean she just happens to find the three people that would definitely say yes, but it's pretty lucky because she's.
Speaker 1They've also set up that she doesn't have any other friends in the whole of the system also true no yeah, she's not great at making friends, it's true so they're going to create a diversion, and so you know what they do in big letters, flaming letters, which I don't know how they have flaming letters, material sitting around. You have 30 seconds to create a version. What I'm going to do is I'm going to light up the sky with smoke, with burning letters that says the smoke lives.
Speaker 2You could just do that. You had that ready. That's unbelievable. I have what luck, what luck do we have here that you were just ready for fire letters?
Speaker 1That's what I have right here in my room. I'm ready for that Any moment you say damn Fire letters.
Speaker 2I'm like you guys aren't gonna believe this. Done, I've got great news. I am ready.
Speaker 1This is my true favorite part of the movie. I was excited, I liked it. I was like this. Here we are.
Speaker 2This is also again the music, the score. Here I'm like I'm jamming, I'm like all right, revolution is coming, and then it doesn't really. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1Yeah, it kind of lets me down, like the it builds, it builds nicely, and then it's just fizzles out they go into the city, they hoverboard down this thing and they drungy jump down it, and then they go to level seven and she can't get the magic ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. And then the door just opens and there's a dude, and then David just knocks him out.
Speaker 2Well, he doesn't he like throat punches him, doesn't he? She does throat punch him, which is crazy, very vicious.
Speaker 1Yeah, I loved it. Uh, they saved the kids. Oh yeah, cory still wants to kill her, because cory's, cory's what? Just listen to, cory. You should just knife her in the throat beginning of the movie. Hey, everybody just listen to cory um, they find out that shea is at surgery. They go to surgery and there is Shay. Talk to me about Shay.
Speaker 2She's terrifying she's so scary now she looks so scary. Well, now she's got big boobs and crazy hairdo that I didn't really understand. It's like kind of tight here, but then like poofs, I didn't really get it. She's way uglier.
Speaker 1It's what you call the OnlyFans machine. Wait what? It turns your people into prostitutes or adult film stars Not prostitutes, adult film stars, because she's wearing a silver mirrored sex dress.
Speaker 2Yeah, the dress is crazy, it is so.
Speaker 1Fredericks of Hollywood. It just it's so I don't know. It just felt so low rent and her hairdo felt so low rent and it was just like I don't know. It was just it's embarrassing, it's just embarrassingly slutty.
Speaker 2Yeah, 100%, and it's not. I don't know. It's weird. It just makes everybody uglier. I don't get it. I don't get the idea.
Speaker 1Okay, and then Dr Cable shows up. She's got nose with her and amazingly it's mom and David and Tally and there are three chambers, so they put them all in the chambers. They're all gonna get get, uh, gets, get, get it. Right now they're gonna. And then go and get it. Lo and behold, somehow in the two minutes it took them to walk up to this chamber yeah, cory and the others have gone all the way back across the river to the dorm, fired up the solar-powered helicopter and driven the solar-powered helicopter. Know?
Speaker 2exactly where to go. But how do they do it so fast?
Speaker 1How close is this camp that?
Speaker 3nobody could find I don't know, I don't even know if they're that fast.
Speaker 1Within seconds, you can be anywhere.
Speaker 2Just ask, marty.
Speaker 1McFly, you go so fast.
Speaker 2I love hoverboards.
Speaker 1You can go, even travel through time properly with a hoverboard oh, that's.
Speaker 2I hope that comes up.
Speaker 1So he flamethrowers through the thing and they're able to escape to the roof. And then David fights, knows and doesn't do well, but something happens. Oh, they throw a hoverboard at him and he goes to the edge and then he falls into the river.
Speaker 2And then it seems like he might squeeze the concrete too hard and shatter it.
Speaker 3Yes, Is that what he does I?
Speaker 1thought he was going to let go and say I've made mistakes, yeah.
Speaker 2It was weird because he's like. He suddenly then remembers and he's like hey, mouse, what's her name? Wink Squinch, squint, squint. He's like hey, squint, I love you. And then he crumbles the rock and falls then he crumbles the rock and falls.
Speaker 1I don't get it, man.
Speaker 2I don't understand what just happened but he falls into a river, so he doesn't die. So that's oh, he'll definitely be back.
Speaker 1Foe show and then they all just fly away on the helicopter, like literally through where the scout ships are. Right, don't they fly?
Speaker 2yeah, right by them, yeah yeah, it's fine, it a helicopter, so they don't see him.
Speaker 1It's a helicopter, then they go. For some unknowable reason they go back to the buildings where they lit the fire. That was weird.
Speaker 2Sure, yeah, I don't yeah.
Speaker 1And then they're all like oh and mom stole the second magic compound, while they were in the place, which was great.
Speaker 2It was just sitting out ready to go and the best.
Speaker 1thing was it's in this case, that's probably like 16 by 16 by 14, let's say yeah, yeah, yeah, she opens it up. It's just a little vial. She's like I'll put that in my pocket. And then they're like okay, we gotta transform somebody, let's do it as Shay. And then they're like okay, we got to transform somebody, let's do it as Shay. And then they're like no, we can't do it against your will. She has to say yes.
Speaker 2Okay, tony Well because you know how are these books going to work?
Speaker 1right, if you got to, have free will aren't they going to have to like gas like a whole city?
Speaker 2Well, they'll have to just convince everybody. But they're all brain. You have to free will they're all brain damaged. They don't have free will but you could still say yeah, well, because the parents said that they went through the transition right yeah, I don't know about that but they don't look like they did. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1They said they undid it. Oh no, it was multiple. You had to go through a bunch of times and then they stopped at a certain point.
Speaker 2Okay, you know what? I don't know, man.
Speaker 1So they got perfectly slutty hair, but they didn't get perfectly slutty faces.
Speaker 2They didn't get the cheekbones.
Speaker 1Maybe they just have the hottest ears in the world.
Speaker 2So what's weird to me is that Joey King's character is when she's saying at the end that she's like yeah, yeah, just you'll turn me back and they're like but you're going to be transformed. She's like don't worry about it, I'm strong. Yes, shay was weak. That's what she said. I'm strong, shay was weak. I know who I am. Shay was confused as fuck. Don't worry, I'm going to be fine, it doesn't make any sense. Yeah, that's all. That was all. I just know.
Speaker 1She, she, has so much willpower because she's, she's, she's tally youngblood, she's not like the others right.
Speaker 3Yeah, she's unaffected. Why we'll see in the next. How is that possible?
Speaker 2they'll probably have to like deprogram her.
Speaker 1They'll probably have to like steal her from the place and then like smack her around smack her around.
Speaker 2Sometimes you got to do what you gotta do. I know you're in there, you I?
Speaker 1know You're in there. You're in there. You're in there. She's already said she's in there. No, I'm fixing it, yeah.
Speaker 2In there. I'm doing it. I don't know. I don't know. It's real weird, but I guess I mean honestly, if you think about it, she's already given them the permission.
Speaker 1Oh, if you sign the form. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2Right, Like. If you sign the form, then changing my life is too late.
Speaker 1Too late.
Speaker 2You sign on the dotted line.
Speaker 1You sign the form. So she's gone through the transformation. Everything about her is golden. She lives in like this golden apartment and Q Music Movie's over. You've got to wait for the next one.
Speaker 2But it's not, it might not come out yes, it's never coming out.
Speaker 1No, I, I want to see more. No, she gets me ready. She has to be a pretty forever, pretty forever.
Speaker 2Well, so that I mean, that is interesting, right, if you think about it, because they're they're saying that they can undo the brain lesion thing yes, but they don't undo the physical transformation. They do everything oh, they do undo the physical transformation? No idea, because that would be weird. That feels very dangerous. Let me just make you uglier again. Let me tear open your body a second time within two months here and see if you heal.
Speaker 1Well, if your wife would have been nice enough to actually talk to you, she would have told you what happens?
Speaker 2I'll ask her later. I'll text you the answers. I'll ask her later. I'll text you the answers. So that's the end. I'm scared.
Speaker 1This movie was pretty great.
Speaker 2Pretty great Again. I really like the musical choice and I'm going to find that cover of the song. I like Postal Service and I'm going to listen to it. Yeah, so if nothing else came out of this movie, whoever made that song gets one more listen.
Speaker 1And it makes me go back to my lab and work on the toothbrush pill.
Speaker 2Fucking hell man. It's not a toothbrush pill.
Speaker 1It's a toothpaste pill I saw it, it's a toothbrush pill.
Speaker 2Or just, you know, mouthwash pill. Why isn't it mouthwash?
Speaker 1It's a pill, because it does what a toothbrush does, but it's in a pill form.
Nintendo Pokemon TCG and Political Movies
Speaker 2Toothbrush pill. It does not, it doesn't do that.
Speaker 1Tony, talk to us about something you like this week.
Speaker 2Well, you're going to be mad because it's not a movie or TV, but Nintendo has released. Pokemon TCG Pocket, which is kind of their response to Marvel Snap. I'm addicted. I love it.
Speaker 1Is it on the phone?
Speaker 2Yeah, it's on the phone. It's a simplified version of the full TCG. Oh wow, I'm going to need a ranked mode at some point, because you're just kind of playing for no reason at this point, but they're leaning heavily into the collection of it all, like they make you tear open the pack on the screens. Very satisfying, they know what they're doing. But I'd like a ranked mode so I could show people how good I am at Pokemon.
Speaker 1How much money have you spent on this game? Thousands.
Speaker 2I won't worry about it, dan, I won't worry about that. No, no, there's a welcome pack that was like $29.99. That's all I've done so far, oh, okay.
Speaker 1Can you sell cards for $1,000?
Speaker 2No, you don't own stuff. But they've talked about bringing in trading, if that does anything for you.
Speaker 1Okay, interesting, I don't know, but it's fun. Okay, sorry, maybe I'll watch it on the YouTube somebody playing.
Speaker 2I'll post it, I'll play it you watch it.
Speaker 1Yeah, you won't do that. We've been watching a lot of police body cam footage.
Speaker 2People are obsessed over that. It's pretty funny.
Speaker 1I've been watching this one judge. He's David Fleischer. He puts people in jail for multiple DUIs. Oh my god, he yells at people. Oh, he yells, and yells, and yells.
Speaker 2Well, he should yell at them if they're doing multiple DUIs. I mean, listen, no, duis is bad, but if you do one and you do a second one, that's worse. One mistake is all you get.
Speaker 1I watched a body cam footage this morning. Police roll up on this lady who has left her kids in the car to go gamble in the casino.
Speaker 2Oh, fuck me, what Are you?
Speaker 1serious A seven-year-old and two 18-month-olds.
Speaker 2I'm not laughing because it's funny. I'm laughing because it's shocking.
Speaker 1It's shocking, that's horrible. She's like, they're all like ah, you know they get to the point where they're going to arrest her and they're like do you have anything else? You know she's like no, nothing else. This is the first first time ever, and the great thing about these is they always do the research and it pops up on the screen. She has had seven other, you know, but you know she's lying to them. They all lie everybody, of course.
Speaker 2The amount of lying that occurs.
Speaker 1It's just like it's all lying. These people, these people, live their life with lies. It's's terrible. Oh, that's bad. It's pretty great, though. I love it.
Speaker 2It's pretty, you know, because it's not you right, oh yeah. You can look at it and think that it's wild.
Speaker 1They'll never catch me.
Speaker 2I'm the gingerbread man.
Speaker 1Tony, we need a movie for next week, preferably one that's as enjoyably bad as this movie we just watched.
Speaker 2I can't promise this. I also don't. I have a list of all the movies we've done and this movie isn't on that list. But for some reason I swear to God we've done this movie, but I'm hoping we haven't.
Speaker 1Well, if you, but let me set the scene for everybody. Do you have a backup, in case we have done?
Speaker 2it. I do have a backup. I have a backup plan, just in case you're like no idiot we've done that movie. That's enough. It is November 2nd in our timeline.
Speaker 1It is November 2nd in our timeline.
Speaker 2Which means in thrice days we have a presidential election. By the time this episode posts, we probably won't know who the president is, because it's supposed to be Wednesday.
Speaker 1The day after we will know oh.
Speaker 2I don't know.
Speaker 1I don't know. Oh, you mean this episode, this one, yeah, this episode.
Speaker 2So, regardless, I wanted to do something about a president, oh okay. About politics, just to be in the game here. So I went with this movie starring Chris Rock. Does this sound familiar? Yet, oh, I've seen this movie and it's called Head of State. Oh yeah, We've absolutely we've never done a Chris Rock movie.
Speaker 1We've never done a Chris Rock movie. Absolutely have not done a Chris Rock movie.
Speaker 2Absolutely not. I don't think so, I mean maybe he was.
Speaker 1no, I don't think we've even had a movie where he was like I thought we did do.
Speaker 2Did we do Chris Rock, where he plays himself twice? I think we did, but that's not this movie either way?
Speaker 1No, no, that was Did we do? We did the. Do we do a Martin Lawrence, not a Martin? Kevin Hart Do we do a Kevin Hart movie like that?
Speaker 2First of all, we've done a bunch of Kevin Hart movies. It doesn't matter, didn't we do one where?
Speaker 1he like runs like a garden center or something.
Speaker 2That's the only one I remember a garden center no, we did the Marky Mark, one for sure yes, yeah, yeah, we did the weekend the guy guys trip weekend movie.
Speaker 1I'm trying to wonder if we did the garden center one or if I just watched that movie. I don't know what the garden center. One is we've lost the thread, so this is uh wait, what did you say?
Speaker 2this is head of state. It did you say this is Head of State it's. Chris Rock as a politician yeah, that's all I remember. I definitely saw this years and years ago. I think I saw it in the theater.
Speaker 1I believe the premise is that there's a guy named Joe Smith and Joe Smith dies, and so he and his miscreant friends run him as Joe Smith. So it'll show up as Joe Smith on the ballot.
Speaker 2Yes, Yep, that's exactly what it is. Yeah, they die in a plane crash and he runs under that name. Yep, that's exactly what happens. That's the movie. So that's the movie we're watching.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's going to be Chris Rock, so it's going to be jokes that are actually jokes.
Speaker 2That's exactly. I think it'll be fun. Yeah, I don't think it'll be good, necessarily, but I think we're going to have a great time with it and we're going to need it after Wednesday, tuesday, I don't know what day this thing's on Tuesday, yeah so, yeah.
Speaker 1so, head of State, that's our next movie. It'll be fun watching, and certainly we'd all take Chris Rock as our president.
Speaker 2Yeah, I would. I would. I mean the way he handled that slap at the Oscars. Good for him. Composure, you know.
Speaker 1Get your wife's name out my mouth out, your mouth out of somebody's mouth.
Speaker 2Out of all of our mouths. Well, it's been a good show, tony, and if you like what you see, what You're supposed to plug the stuff now.
Speaker 1Like and subscribe or leave a comment. These are all things that will help us with the algorithm, because the algorithm is out to get us. It's always out to get us.
Speaker 2Well, you know, machines, right Machines are out to get us. Oh my know. Machines, right Machines are out to get us, oh my God.
Speaker 1Oh, we were talking about AIs last week. Yeah, big time, so stupid, afraid. You know, the honeybees are coming back.
Speaker 2Like the actual bees, not like a musical group of some sort.
Speaker 1No, we had all sorts of trouble. The bees were dying off and everyone was worried. We had a sorts of trouble, the bees were dying off and everyone was worried.
Speaker 2We had a lot of save the bees stuff going on back in the day.
Speaker 1Home beekeepers have brought back the population.
Speaker 2They revitalized it.
Speaker 1Wow, revitalized the population of the American honey bee Heroes Because I love honey.
Speaker 2Tony loves honey. I love it.
Speaker 1It was super interesting because this guy was like no one ever talks about the positive stories. He does this and down in there there were lots of comments. One of the comments was yes, the honeybee may be coming back, but the natural wild bee is not. It's very angry. And then there was another one where they were like I mean people are never happy.
Speaker 2You're like what?
Speaker 1about the war in Gaza. You're just like oh my God, oh my.
Speaker 3God. He's talking about a positive story, we're talking about this.
Speaker 1Just let him talk about the positive story.
Speaker 2This is why we don't talk about positive things, Because everyone's like how could you be so positive when all these bad things are happening? You can't win with these people, Dan.
Speaker 1That's why you have to just go and say Toothbrush Bill, greatest idea ever. This was a winner of a movie. I can't believe it. We'll be back next week.
Speaker 2Goodbye, everybody.
Speaker 3Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. It's hey, watch it yeah.