Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching My Father the Hero
What if you could revisit a 90s film in a way that reveals its most unsettling elements? Join us on this wild ride as we dissect "My Father the Hero," starring Gerard Depardieu and a young Katherine Heigl. We expose the problematic and cringe-worthy portrayal of Heigl's character, a 14-year-old girl uncomfortably sexualized throughout the movie. Reflecting on the golden hits of the 90s like "Shawshank Redemption" and "Jurassic Park," we argue that "My Father the Hero" is far from a classic. Embrace the generational clash as we explore how outdated norms in filmmaking clash with modern sensibilities.
Ever wondered how confusing character dynamics can derail a film? We break down Gerard Depardieu's enigmatic relationship with his on-screen daughter, Nikki, and dissect the perplexing plot choices. From a mysterious five-year absence to the bewildering addition of Emma Thompson as his girlfriend, we leave no stone unturned in our critique. And let's not forget the film’s laughably poor music choices—because nothing says "awkward" like a misplaced soundtrack.
Prepare for some serious head-scratching as we navigate through bizarre romantic subplots, unnecessary jealousy, and awkward jokes about underwear. We highlight the absurdity of the resort's single-bedroom suite arrangement and the chaotic talent show drama. Through all this madness, we humorously recount our own personal anecdotes and critique the unrealistic depiction of teenage romance and parental involvement. Stick around for a sneak peek at our next movie review, and join us in questioning the baffling decisions that make "My Father the Hero" a perplexing watch.
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Well, we should spend the 20 minutes talking about this movie.
Speaker 2:I was telling Naomi. I was like, at least we're going to finally have a short episode. There's only one thing to talk about on this movie Could be a short episode. It won't be, but it could be. Maybe if we tried really hard, I think we could do it. I think we can keep it to an hour.
Speaker 1:See if we can do an hour.
Speaker 2:Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. Hey, watch, let's see if we can do it now.
Speaker 1:Welcome to AYJ with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan.
Speaker 2:I'm.
Speaker 1:Tony, and on this show we watch a movie, sometimes a movie from the 90s. That's a mistake.
Speaker 2:Hold on Before we even go further. Are you saying the problem with this movie is that it was made in the 90s?
Speaker 1:I'm beginning to wonder.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you right now that I disagree, because the 90s were a great time for me. I loved the 90s.
Speaker 1:I just kind of wonder if maybe they kind of knew how to make movies in the 30s and 40s and go in the 50s and then things got groovy in the 60s and 70s. In the 70s it got dirty In the 80s it got 80s and then in the 90s. Maybe there were some good movies in the 90s, but maybe a lot of movies in the 90s, maybe a lot of movies in the 90s, they just were like. They were almost like television shows, you know they, they weren't really okay.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm not gonna disagree with you that quality wise this could have been a made for tv movie. I won't disagree with you there, uh, but let's, let's look up a little list here. Best movies of the 90s.
Speaker 1:I bet there's some bangers in here, give me, give me the top 10 movies of the 90s. Let's, let's talk about the 90s, for I bet there's some bangers in here. Give me the top 10 movies of the 90s. Let's talk about the 90s for a second. I don't want to talk about this movie.
Speaker 2:I would love to talk about this movie. The first thing that I saw that popped up made me laugh, because you hate it, and it was Twister.
Speaker 1:Shawshank.
Speaker 2:Redemption Great movie. Come on, come on, supercop. I don't know if it's a great, it's very fun. It's not a great movie. Seven, that's a good one, it's a really good movie. People like Saving Private Ryan. I'm not a fan, big fan. Silence of the Lambs, fight Club. See, there's movies Forrest Gump, fargo, sure people like that movie, the Matrix.
Speaker 1:There were like 10 movies that pretty much laid down what movies going forward were.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, you're right about that.
Speaker 1:Here's the sort of blueprint of what movies should be.
Speaker 2:Groundhog Day. I love that movie. Jurassic Park Usual Suspects Sixth.
Speaker 1:Sense oh boy.
Speaker 2:Well, the movie we're doing today, that movie Jurassic Park, usual Suspects, okay, sixth Sense, oh boy.
Speaker 1:Well, the movie we're doing today, what is the?
Speaker 2:movie we're doing today, tony Well, it's not on this list that I'm looking at. I'll tell you that right now. This was a movie that my lovely partner picked out and she was like I heard about this and we need to watch. It Turns out she's right, it's Looney Tunes. It is called my Father the Hero Yep, starring Gerard Depardieu there you go, there you go and Katherine Heigl, at a very young age of 16 years old, which is going to be important for the rest of this conversation.
Speaker 1:So, like she was, her physical body was 16 years old when she was making this Her literal physical self was 16.
Speaker 2:Okay, we ogle her throughout the whole film and she's playing a 14-year-old 14 and a half-year-old.
Speaker 1:Oh sorry.
Speaker 2:You're an adult. You're absolutely correct.
Speaker 1:The difference between 14, 14 and a half year old. Oh sorry, you're an adult, you're absolutely right the difference between 14, 14 and a half is a chasm.
Speaker 2:This is I'll say this is the creepiest movie I've ever seen.
Speaker 1:I can't believe this is the creepiest movie you've ever seen. But it's a creepy movie Give me.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't expect you to have this off the top of your head.
Speaker 1:What's a creepier movie to you, I mean?
Speaker 2:I bet you lolita is pretty creepy because I have not seen it. You're absolutely right, I I guess I should preface this by saying I don't watch a lot of movies that I know are gonna creep me out, uh, but this definitely did on many levels I'm like there's so many different levels of this movie was creepy yeah, you see, I'm old, so we're both old dan so, like you know, I'm like it was creepy, but I was like, yeah, you know it's not creepy, but not surprising.
Speaker 1:See, I think that the younger generation, like you, are used to the world being a little better. You know, as older people were like, yeah, that's kind of the way the world is.
Speaker 2:Was. We gotta say was.
Speaker 1:There can't be is. I hope it's not, is you know? I always remember I'll watch like old 40s movies and the men will grab the woman by the arm to like show them where to go.
Speaker 2:Sure, not great, not great.
Speaker 1:You watch older movies like that and you're just like see to me, that's, I think, how this movie is. You know you're looking at this movie going like, ah, you know, I did look at it going.
Speaker 2:Ah, but let me explain why. Like just top level, right? Yeah, let's start within the movie itself. She is 14 and a half Thank you Dan and she is trying to date a 17-year-old Already. For me that's too much. He was 18. Was he 18? I don't know. I was only half paying attention Gosh.
Speaker 1:I think he was 18.
Speaker 2:Either way, 17 or- 18-year-old, either way 14, that's too young. So just the general premise the good part of this movie like the part that we're supposed to root for of this movie is already a problem for me. Then she lies and pretends her 50-year-old father is her boyfriend and not a single person calls the cops. Not one person is like we need to report this because this is horrifying. They're not in America. So I did pick up on that, confused on why everyone speaks English without an accent.
Speaker 1:Oh, because they're at a resort. They're at a resort In where, well, like Antigua or someplace.
Speaker 2:You're just making that up.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's one of those sort of island places.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, it just felt, it felt a little weird, but regardless, I understand. But she even said like there's a conversation in the movie where she's like, yeah, I mean he has to pretend he's my father because of all those stupid laws, nope, so I can't, I can't handle it. So that's within the context of the movie, right, and then not not to say he also kind of plays along and also some people seem jealous of him, like the steven, what's the same? Tobloski. Like there's a line in there where he seems very jealous of it and it's, there's too much. All of that's awful. But then you start thinking about the real world situation. Now she is 16 years old. The love interest of the movie is 23 years old in filming this movie. Horrible, absolutely terrible. What are we doing? You can't do that everybody. And then just the camera work sexualizes her a lot. There's just, it's all bad.
Speaker 1:Well, this is based on yeah's yeah. My father, the hero, aaron 29, 1994. This is based on a french film right.
Speaker 2:Is he also in the french movie?
Speaker 1:I don't know I didn't, I didn't want to I didn't want to dig deeper I get it.
Speaker 2:You'll get on a list.
Speaker 1:At one point he sings the song Thank Heavens for Little Girls which is from Gigi, which Gigi is the same. You know, that's what Gigi is about.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that song was weird and he turns around and is confused why everyone left. Regardless of the context of the movie, it's an inappropriate song that I would also leave. So it's all very confusing.
Speaker 1:She's the same sort of thing. She's like 15 years old and she's raised as a courtesan. And Louis Jourdan and what's his name, who sings the song? You know she's meant to be like the side piece, to like the married man, I think I remember.
Speaker 2:It's a weird movie. No, that sounds weird.
Speaker 1:It's a classic musical, is it? Well, it's like Sound of the Music is all about Nazis.
Speaker 2:Less creepy than this movie. I'll just say that. So trying to get past all that is hard for me, sure, and then it also doesn't help that I can't understand half the words darbradu saying. I like it's tough for me I'm having. I had a real, I had a real tough night wait, you have the.
Speaker 1:You have the subtitles on, you could read.
Speaker 2:I can't read. How many times do I gotta tell you I can't read? It's on the thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 2:It's hard.
Speaker 1:Tony, you can't read words off the screen.
Speaker 2:What did you think of this movie?
Speaker 1:It just was. You know, the thing about movies is you start a movie. The key to a movie is a person has a want right, and then they have their character flaws and the world that stand between them and their want right, and usually what they have to do is they have to figure out what you know. They have to solve their character flaws to get what their want is right.
Speaker 2:Well, you don't necessarily have to solve anything, apparently.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, this movie, her want is that she wants to date this guy sort of Illegally, yeah, and her character flaws is that she's a gigantic liar.
Speaker 2:She is a pathological, dangerous liar. At what point she says the words something like it just comes so easily to me.
Speaker 1:I wish that they'd established that that's what was going on in the movie, and then I think you could have made a comedy.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:But as it is, she's a pathological liar who that's just sort of like. It sort of happens.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, it's just kind of like how we get from A to B. It's not really a character trait as much as there's no other way to do this, so let's just make her lie about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or she's mad at her dad, but this movie gives you whiplash because it's like I love you, I love you, daddy, and then she's like you should die, and I mean it's, it's.
Speaker 2:I believe her entire character is summed up very early on when she's talking to the mother in the first scene almost, and they're basically they're arguing over a sweater and she's just like screaming bloody mary at her mother. And then we go downstairs, the mom comes out and they like cry and hug each other and love each other and I was just like whoa, what's going on here?
Speaker 1:I think, if we talked to, this movie must have been written by a man, because if we talk to any woman, that is not the way it is. When you're a 14 to 16 year old girl interacting with your mother, it's like it's broken, it's always broken down, and that's that should have been the point. But they, they want it to be heartfelt or something too, and so you know that's save that for the end.
Speaker 2:Did you yeah, did you tear up, a little tear up each time.
Speaker 1:You mean every time that we whiplash, and she's like every time that she goes from from uh naughty to sweet or whatever.
Speaker 2:What is that? What are those? What are the? The sugar sour patch kids. That's the thing, right, like first they're sour, then they're sweet. That's her character that's her character.
Speaker 1:So you know, that was my. That was my big problem with it is that it wasn't really a movie. It was just a series of things that happened and then figuring out Uninteresting things.
Speaker 2:Uninteresting things, unfunny.
Speaker 1:I mean, I had one laugh.
Speaker 2:You had a laugh. Where was it?
Speaker 1:Very near the end. I don't remember, I'll find it when we get there, all right, yeah, but I think it's one of those classic laughs where it's like they do something and then they point out that that's the thing they're doing, which I always find very funny, sure, and so you know, that's just a very classic laugh thing for me.
Speaker 2:And I was like oh, okay, Very easy laugh, as it were.
Speaker 1:It's funny. So we start off with what? Do we start off with? What plane is landing? We're going to quiz Tony. There's a weird looking plane with a new system. There is a weird looking plane.
Speaker 2:That's what I said. What's wrong with this airplane? It looks like a broken bird, and this was like a trivia question. That's a plane that I should know. Of course you should know.
Speaker 1:Everyone knows that plane.
Speaker 2:It looks very stupid. Is it called? Is it the Pelican Pelican 1. It's called the Concorde. Ah, so I was on the right track. It is a bird Right, concorde's a bird right, is it? Uh, concorde?
Speaker 1:There's the band the flight of the Concordes.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's a bird, isn't that? Wouldn't that mean it's a bird? I don't know well, the condor is a bird, yeah that's you thought, condor.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, tony, it's embarrassing. So what the concord was is it was a supersonic airplane, and so it was the way to get, the fastest way to get from europe to here. Okay and so um so you know it was very expensive and I think there were only a few of them and they did a lot of big transatlantic flights and at a certain point it wasn't worth it anymore and they scrapped them. So I was like, oh, that's interesting.
Speaker 2:So do we now go slower than we used to?
Speaker 1:Oh, then the Concorde went. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Speaker 2:So we've regressed.
Speaker 1:That seems unfortunate Well. I mean, it's just it's a faster thing, but it's not. You know, it's a cost analysis thing. It's better off for them to go a little bit slower.
Speaker 2:It's not better off for me. No, I'd like to get there much faster, because this body does not enjoy sitting on an airplane for 10 hours, all right.
Speaker 1:No, it's terrible. So that's the Concord, and then we get the song, however it goes.
Speaker 2:That's a different song. That's pretty much it.
Speaker 1:You sounded almost identical.
Speaker 2:They do this refrain so many times in this movie and it's horrible every time it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1:It's it's pretty bad. Yeah, I think the the person who did the music for this movie is the worst of the people I would take them as being worse than the writer in the wow.
Speaker 2:Okay, well I mean, it's a tough battle. You know what I mean, like they would be slugging it out to the end. But I don't fault you for that, because every time it comes on it's greater, like it detracts from the movie, like a lot of soundtracks that are bad just disappear right. They're just kind of like yeah, I didn't even notice there was music in it, but every time something comes on you're like what is this shit? Every time something comes on, you're like what is this shit? What's happening right now?
Speaker 1:I think what was I watching, gosh? I was watching, I was doing a compare and contrast and I was watching because we must have watched something bad. And so then I watched something good, and the good thing had a good soundtrack, and I don't know, what it was and you were just like a good action soundtrack. Just gets you right where you need to be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it really does.
Speaker 1:Gets you pumping. You're like, yeah, go, go, go, go go this movie. Yeah, not so much. Gerard Depardieu gets there. He gets a taxi to New York City, goes to see the ex-wife. His name is Andre Lauren Hutton is the ex-wife. Her name is. Daughter's name is Andre Lauren Hutton is the ex-wife. Her name is. Daughter's name is Nikki. The dog immediately pees on him.
Speaker 2:Cute dog though.
Speaker 1:He remembers you joke. He remembers you because he peed on you. He plays a little piano. Nikki comes out. She's happy, then sad, then happy, like in the course of 30 seconds.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like it's basically a single shot of her doing different facial expressions. It's super weird. It's like we should cut away from it. I don't know, I don't know how to make that good. To be honest with you, it's just weird.
Speaker 1:So he's been an absent father. He's been for the last five years and pretty much Okay and pretty much gone, yeah, and then we're going to find out a little more information as time goes by about how this is going. Yeah, there's one salient point that they come out.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, interesting. Maybe that'll solve the whole movie for me.
Speaker 1:Well, the point being is, a year before he had come to New York City and not told her that she was there, he was there, and then she spotted him on the street or something. Right, oh, yeah, yeah, and that was her. It was her birthday, and so that she was very hurt by that.
Speaker 2:Understandably so.
Speaker 1:Which should have been the thing, that sort of made the Spurred yeah. It should have just been contentious from the beginning. Yeah, but it's not. It's not.
Speaker 2:No, no, not really. We also don't like. What I don't understand is why he's been absent for five years. You know what I mean? Work, what does he do? Works, yeah, but we don't know. This is what I'm talking about. Like, I don't know what he does, because they do say like oh I was, you know, working or something, but I don't know what that means. Why are you gone for five years, but you were there one year ago on a date. That's not work. So I don't. It doesn't make a lot of sense. And he doesn't seem like a deadbeat dad. You know like they don't do the whole deadbeat dad trope. Nope, it's very confusing to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And then the other thing is so he's got a girlfriend. I guess back in France Emma Thompson plays the girlfriend, strangely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when she pops up at the end of the movie, I was like what's happening? What's going on, why? But it's great for them.
Speaker 1:He calls her numerous times during the movie and talks to an answering machine and sort of says basically just says please talk to me, Please talk to me, Please talk to me, Please talk to me. Then the final one is will you marry me? Then she answers the phone Uh-huh. So she's been fishing to marry him.
Speaker 2:She's like holding out.
Speaker 1:We don't know this, and so all we see are these weird phone calls. And the first one I thought he was calling the ex-wife, and then I was like, oh no, there's an actual girlfriend. They should have set up something with this ex-girlfriend so that we know there's an anticipation of something. Of anything, anything.
Speaker 2:We don't know.
Speaker 1:So he's talking to a character that we basically never meet through the movie. We don't know what his want of her is and what her want of him is. It's the most wasted space in a movie I've ever seen.
Speaker 2:And what's confusing to me above all of that is I swear they say that like I swear it's set up that she's out of town and that's why he can't find her quote unquote because he uses the term like the words.
Speaker 2:I can't find her yeah so I don't know where he's calling. I don't know if he's calling her hotel, where she's supposed to be, or if he's calling the house, but she's there every time just listening to the message and we never see her face which is also weird until the end, like is this a surprise? I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't understand any of it and I mean, I really thought she was gonna be the third act where she appears there. Sure, yeah, and they fight over him or her, or maybe she shows up and she's a 12 year old, and then it gets gets really sexy.
Speaker 2:I had that weird thought too. I was like why aren't we showing her face? Is she going to be like? Is the ultimate twist of this movie is he's also marrying someone like her best friend, or something? I don't know. It was really weird. I went to a dark place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it just nothing served anything.
Speaker 2:So you're like I don't get it. I don't get it.
Speaker 1:I don't get it, brother. Okay, so her and her mom fight over a sweater. Then she comes downstairs and then take the sweater I love you, I love you. And then they almost take the dog with them, right.
Speaker 2:What it's brutal. It's a tough start because there are a total of zero laughs in the first ten minutes there, first two hours. Well, I just mean, like that scene should set the tone for the movie and while it does, you just don't like the tone. You know what I mean. Like it definitely does a good job of setting up. Her character is going to be all over the pitch. She's going to be just bouncing around emotionally I don't know, and he's not funny. That's basically what it sets up.
Speaker 1:And he's going to be generally like why is things happening around me? I don't understand.
Speaker 2:That was really good.
Speaker 1:But I'm not going to do anything to sort of investigate or try to find out what's going on, don't do anything proactive about it, I'll just always wonder. They get some drinks. He gets her a Shirley Temple. It's very weird.
Speaker 2:Why is it weird, dan? Because I'm going to tell you why it's weird. But why Do you know why it's weird? I'll tell you why it's weird, why would you get someone a Shirley Temple? Well, because she used to love Shirley Temples. Oh Well, because she used to love Shirley Temples. Oh Right, he says that you love.
Speaker 2:Shirley Temples and she's like I'm 15 or 14 or whatever. What did she say? 16? No, she's actually 16. So she says I'm 14. Sorry, I'm very confused. And she's like I don't drink them anymore. But when he first hands it to her, she drinks it. She goes ew, what is this? If she used to love Shirley Temples, like they said she does, in a second, she would know what it is and just not want it. But instead she has no idea what it is and is confused why it's in her mouth. So the whole scene just doesn't make any sense. If she just doesn't like them anymore, or is pretending to not like them because she's an adult now, that's great. Make a decision, but you can't go. What is this? You love Shirley Temples? Well, not anymore. That doesn't make any sense. That's like bad improv.
Speaker 2:It is, it's like yes and no, yes and no, and here we go. Yeah, and as we always say, on this show.
Speaker 1:Once you start knocking us off of our pedestal you know knocking us away the further we get from your movie.
Speaker 2:It's so hard to get back and the closer we are to our telephones.
Speaker 1:That will give us instant gratification. I love you.
Speaker 2:You would, you would.
Speaker 1:So they're going. Then he says I sent you letters. And then he walks over to get her the Coke. And then he talks to the bartender, lady who's attractive, and she's all like, why are you flirting with her?
Speaker 2:And you're like why are you mad?
Speaker 1:Do you really think people look at every situation like that? What do you mean? Well, if you saw somebody walk over there, they'd have to actually be flirting for you to think they're flirting Sure, unless you're a super jealous partner, not a weird daughter.
Speaker 2:I don't even understand why she'd be mad if he was flirting. Why? What's the problem with that? He's technically single, he's got a girlfriend or whatever, but he's not married, so why are you?
Speaker 1:mad. That's the whole point. This movie just makes those decisions because that's the decision you can make. We'll just make her mad here, because you can get mad about that.
Speaker 2:Sure, but then you wouldn't the in like two scenes later, you wouldn't try to set him up with another woman to get him off your back. You know what I mean? That doesn't make any sense uh.
Speaker 1:so they're gonna go have the best vacation ever. They're gonna fly to somewhere that they don't tell us and they get there and she's all like everyone is old, and then she sees a hot guy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she seems to see a lot of people around her age. Yeah, in my opinion, I don't know, I don't know Seems weird, but also, you know, he's very pretty.
Speaker 1:Now is that the dude that does that Ben, who she's going to fall in love with the first guy she sees?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, she sees him. She runs into the table in the lobby and you know it's funny or something.
Speaker 1:So he has to sleep on the couch. He's not supposed to sleep, not supposed to take his clothes off, or something. How do you book a suite and not have two bedrooms?
Speaker 2:I don't understand that very strange, um. But also, why do you make a joke about him being in his underwear, like what? What is the point of that? Why is the 14 year old me like dad, keep your pants on. It's weird. It's just a weird thing to point out.
Speaker 1:To put something in the living room that has to sleep there and then say you know, don't sleep how you sleep, it's like too weird.
Speaker 2:The whole thing is weird. It's a weird movie, Dan.
Speaker 1:It's the morning, it's beautiful, he's in his underwear. They go out, they meet the Scranton PA men and their women and then we establish that he's French and one of the wives is all like ooh la la, even though he's really unattractive.
Speaker 2:He's not. He's not and you know, listen pot kettle, black right, but he's like he has bad posture even so he hunches and kind of waddles when he walks Like he walks a little bit like I imagine a real life igor would walk, and I don't mean that in like a mean way, I just mean to say there's not a lot of igor, you're such a real life igor I just, I just don't think there's a ton of qualities about him that would draw strangers to him.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean? Yeah, maybe, once you get to know him, he's probably a great guy, right, a really nice guy. And that's how I win people over, right? It's a slow process. People don't come up and are like, wow, that's a guy I want to get to know. You know what I mean? I have to break down your walls and charm you a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I imagine he would have to do the same. And then Tony ghosts your ass so hard when she pays attention. I get bored and I stop talking to you.
Speaker 1:The daughter she immediately starts attracting men. Pablo from the band's going after her, and then she gets up and she's all like loosen up Dad, and she walks away and they put her in the least appropriate bathing suit. I have ever seen Yep. Super weird. It is like just straight up her butt crack and you see her entire ass.
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, and she's very young. It's super weird. I don't. I just don't get it. I don't get the general conceit of the movie, but also a lot of the men that hit on her are inappropriately aged.
Speaker 1:Well, they're all generally. I mean if they think that she's 16 or 17,. They're all like 18 to 24.
Speaker 2:Are they 17? Are they 16? Because that's the only appropriate answer, Dad.
Speaker 1:Could you imagine if Tony was your dad and you're like I'm going out with a boy tonight? I'm going to be honest with you.
Speaker 2:We used to get in fights about this all the time, naomi and I, about how I would be like overprotective and it's, you know 2020 and we have to be progressive, and I'm like I can't do it.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I don't know, I don't know how to let go, so it's a good thing we don't have kids so a 17 year old couldn't date an 18 year old I'm 17 and 18 is is close.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Like how 17 are you? Is it like? Are you right on the cusp? Are you about to like? It's like. But if 15 and under is a no-go, that's a, that's a no-go, that's a no-go, right, that's a hard no.
Speaker 1:So what if your daughter is 17 and she's dating a 12-year-old?
Speaker 2:Then I'm going to arrest her like myself. I will physically bring her to the court. That's not where you bring them. I'll bring her to the precinct and I'll cuff her myself and be like guys. She's gross, take her.
Speaker 1:So there's a party tonight. She goes back, puts on shorts, she goes walking on the beach, rocks, and then here comes a boy snorkeling. It's the boy of her dreams.
Speaker 2:Where did he come from? Snorkeling wise the ocean, right Like it seems like he just comes from the deep, the depths of the sea, I don't know, so very strange uh, their first interaction. He is a giant dick yes, yeah, he's a terrible guy. Yeah, girls love that, dan. You know, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:They love it. Do they? Is that I don't know?
Speaker 2:I don't know what women want. Let's be very clear. No, it doesn't. She doesn't seem. I don't know. It's weird, right? They don't seem to have a moment where they're instantly liking each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'd think that this would be a flirty moment, right, isn't?
Speaker 2:this a flirty moment?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it should be. Shouldn't he be protective of her, as opposed to the tide's gonna come in and you're gonna die and I don't really care right, he wasn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's not trying to save her, he's just.
Speaker 1:He's just telling her hey guess what you're dead it's so weird I'm like your first interaction, you know and then if that's going to be the case, then she's going to have to pursue him, but instead she's just in love with him and then he just sort of is in love with her is he?
Speaker 2:I was questioning his motives, the entire movie, because there's a scene in the I don't know I going to call it the boathouse, I don't really know what it is, but between him and his friend and his friend is basically telling him that she's an easy score and he's going to get laid and she's easy, and he's like, oh, okay. So then the whole time I thought he was just using her and then they're in love and I was like what?
Speaker 1:I don't understand what's happening yeah, to do love when you're you know like, yeah, you gotta do something. There's gotta be like something where you sort of clue in something that it's like oh, you like zoo animals, I like zoo animals okay, we're in love.
Speaker 2:Great, let's be in love I.
Speaker 1:I love it okay, dad finds this nerdy guy that's into econ and she's all like, nope, going shopping. Then she finds him a lady and then he's like I have a girlfriend.
Speaker 2:She's my favorite character, by the way, in this whole movie. Oh, diane, diane, okay, she's very funny to me. I like her In another movie. That character's great.
Speaker 1:She has Annie Potts' voice, and so I would always look up and be like oh.
Speaker 2:Annie Potts and I'm like nope, and they're like wait, nope, never mind, that's not it.
Speaker 1:Sort of similar woman. Then dad finds her at the bar with this dude, david, who's a photographer who is way too old. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, he's a photographer who is way too old.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. Yeah, he's like 50. And a photographer. So you know that this is seedy. This is not okay.
Speaker 1:No See, this whole movie's like morning, middle of the day, night time.
Speaker 2:Morning, middle of the day, night time, it's just like we just go sometimes we do nighttime next day, nighttime immediately after just to make it confusing.
Speaker 1:We didn't even throw the day in on this one. So she's wearing the little black cocktail dress and, yeah, she does not look 14 and a half.
Speaker 2:No, well, because if she did, then this movie would be even more creepy. If she actually looked 14, not that she doesn't look like a child, but if she, you know, I don't know, she's still very young looking. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Now the locals are beginning to think that they're a couple. She runs into snorkel Boy Ben and then she tells Ben that her dad is her boyfriend. Why does she do that?
Speaker 2:I have absolutely no idea.
Speaker 1:Maybe because he was a giant dick to her, so she's trying to burn him, I guess.
Speaker 2:I don't, dan, I don't know. She says she wanted to impress him. That's what she tells the dad later, later. I don't know why that would impress anybody. I have no idea what's impressive about that I'm fucking a 50 year old man.
Speaker 1:Isn't that cool? It's not cool.
Speaker 2:It's not cool for either of you, no, but it's worse for you. The one with, like the old guy is a creep and should be arrested, right, but you just you know that's not great for you you're like what's going on with you?
Speaker 1:it means you're a user or you know. I don't know, it's not a good thing, there's.
Speaker 2:No, there's no good way to look at it. In my opinion, which you know, people might come at us, I don't know, but to me there's no good way to look at that situation. In my opinion, which you know, people might come at us, I don't know, but to me there's no good way to look at that situation. So I don't understand how you would use that to impress anybody.
Speaker 1:Then she does a whole bit. I like older men, I'm 16. He pretends that he's my dad because of laws.
Speaker 2:Stupid laws. Let's make sure you get that Her line is because of stupid laws. They're not stupid, they're not stupid?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they are.
Speaker 2:Tony, no, no, not stupid. I think so. I think you're wrong. You're trying to protect people.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. We need freedom as a libertarian, we need freedom First of all I mean this is going to get me in trouble. I don't believe that we need freedom, okay, because humans are bad, humans are stupid.
Speaker 2:We need rules and we need guidance. We do not need freedom, we are not good with it.
Speaker 1:That's Tony. Tony build the jails Sick, then they introduce themselves. I'm Nicky, I'm Ben Okay. He's now hiding out from Diane because she was pleasant.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she was nice and interested in him. Apparently. That's too much to handle.
Speaker 1:She's pretty horny Again.
Speaker 2:Age appropriate Seems like a good person. I see no flaws in this situation.
Speaker 1:So she comes over there. He's avoided Diane. She comes over there and she like snuggles up to him and Ben's watching across from the thing. That's when he becomes interested in her.
Speaker 2:Right at that moment, right. What does that say about Ben here? Something, I don't quite know what it is, but again not good.
Speaker 1:And it's not love and it's not. He's not being protective, he's being hot for her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is just ugh.
Speaker 1:That night there's a big moon. He yells at her to come out and see the moon, because she's watching TV or something, and the moon goes behind a cloud.
Speaker 2:This is such a weird scene.
Speaker 1:It goes behind a cloud, and then she's all like what moon.
Speaker 2:I'm going for a walk, goodbye I don't understand he's, he's yelling, yelling about the moon, yelling about the moon. She comes out, goes behind the cloud and then she's like where is? He's like, oh, it'll come out again in a second. All right, I'm leaving.
Speaker 1:I just it's so weird, dan this, this movie, had to fight hard for that hour and 29 minutes, they're just like what can we do? Okay, let's have them argue about the moon. It's like that's an argument Shannon and I have. She's all like we got to fold the laundry. And I come out there and it's like the towels and I'm like are we really folding these towels? Are we just hanging them up in the bathroom, like we always do? Well, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like what? Why is this a two-person event? But the laundry is a two-person event, so you make it a two-person event.
Speaker 2:You got to tag team. You got to do it together. All right, that's your married life. There you go.
Speaker 1:But that doesn't mean I don't get yelled at if I don't get out there fast enough.
Speaker 2:Well, to be fair, we deserve to be yelled at.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be honest with you, dan. So Ben appears, and then Andre. While they're consummating their love affair Well, not consummating. While they're establishing their love affair Consummating.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:Andre's calling the girlfriend. Yeah. And now is when she becomes a gigantic liar. She walks to the beach and she tells him that her dad's a jail. Or her dad's a prostitute, or she's a prostitute. No, the mom's a prostitute.
Speaker 2:She was into drugs, like hardcore dope or something she says, which is funny, the dad's in jail. And she saw this in a soap opera Is that what it is? And then she just took it from the soap opera, because then later Andre is able to guess what she said about the parents, so it must have been all from the show. I don't know. I don't know. This is not an endearing quality for your lead of a film.
Speaker 1:Andre and Diane go to get drinks and then Diane's like you, your daughter idolizes you, and he's all like really, you think so and we're all like where did she get that idea?
Speaker 2:You think I don't know, Cause I don't see it.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Oh, you're right, ben is 17. Then we have the great water ski. Okay, at this point.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:I think that now we started the rumor mill, so everyone in the whole resort now thinks that they're dating and so everywhere he goes, people give him dirty looks, yeah. So they go water skiing with Ben and then Ben hates him, Tries to murder him, tries to murder him while they're water skiing with Ben and then Ben hates him, tries to murder him, tries to murder him while they're water skiing.
Speaker 2:And openly. It's not like we're not making a joke. He says the line basically like you're better off without him, and tries to kill him on water skis. And she has to yell at him to not murder this man.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't understand what's happening, Dan.
Speaker 1:It's hilarious because he thinks that, you know, he can murder the person that is in charge of his lover. He's statutorily raping his lover, I mean.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying he's wrong. In this situation, at least he's doing something. Everybody else at the resort has done nothing, except for like. You shouldn't be doing that.
Speaker 1:Buddy Somebody.
Speaker 2:Somebody do something. At least Ben's taking action, trying to murder the man. Good for you, ben.
Speaker 1:So eventually he falls over and gets out of the water and clumps around and Ben just leaves or something. I think he just kind of fucks off Classic resolution in this kind of movie.
Speaker 2:People are just like well, I guess this is over. Just walk away. Just walk away, you're doing all right.
Speaker 1:Island Dance Night. He wants to. He dances with her. I think, no, no, no. He wants to. He dances with her. I think, no, no, no. He wants to dance, but she doesn't want to dance. Ben wants to talk. I don't think she wants to talk, so she sits over by the keyboard, as she also has the hots for her. Yes, and then she dances with Dad. Then she sees Ben and then dances with Dad to make Ben jealous.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because Ben is dancing with somebody else. Oh yeah, Ben's got a, so she is like well, now I'll dance with my old lover, I'll show you. Yeah, I don't know, it's just all weird.
Speaker 1:And now this is one of those classic okay, that's one night thing. Now we cut to the next night thing. Something may have happened during the day, we don't know. We cut to the next night thing. Something may have happened during the day, we don't know. This is going to be dinner and then talent night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is that something that resorts do? They just hold like a talent show? No, because that's kind of fun. They absolutely don't.
Speaker 1:Not a chance.
Speaker 2:I don't get to go to resorts.
Speaker 1:They'll have like events and things you know, but it'll mostly be like tequila drinking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like they put on things for, like you know, they don't. I suppose maybe they do, but I've never been to a place that lets the people that stay there do their own thing. Like that, like that, you know.
Speaker 1:Nobody wants to sit and watch a guy do Streetcar Named Desire no, nobody.
Speaker 2:Nobody, I don't know. I almost laughed at Toblowski doing the. He's funny. Yeah, he's a funny guy.
Speaker 1:So boom, there they are having Nikki and Andre having dinner and she's all like you're just going to go get married and have other kids.
Speaker 2:Good night, yeah, so here's why this is confusing to me, right? I understand her being upset by that feeling, yes, but that is brand new to the movie.
Speaker 1:It is not precipitated by anything happening in this movie or any information or any talking that has occurred.
Speaker 2:Now, generally, if you're making a movie and, like you have that character, have those feelings, you know the movie would be more about that, there'd be more, there'd be more going on. That would be like a central character, want or desire.
Speaker 1:You know feeling it's you mean, it's something you would set up, and then, this would be a payoff where she realized that that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 2:be like, oh I get, but it's. It just kind of comes out of nowhere and I didn't know she was upset, I don't know. It's really weird.
Speaker 1:So we get the talent. We got a tango couple. Oh yeah, Nikki, she's gone to cry. She's looking for Ben Street car named Desire, A guy that we think is doing magic, A duet that we don't get to see. And then Diane's like Andre, you're an incredible piano player, Go do something. He's all like yes, I will. And he goes up there and he sings Thank Heaven for Little Girls.
Speaker 2:A song about being creepy to little girls?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know man be to little girls? Yeah, I don't. I just I don't know man. Now everyone at the resort thinks that he's a pedophile. Yeah, diane knows he's not right. Yeah, she knows. Why doesn't she just tell him that everyone thinks?
Speaker 2:does she know that everybody thinks he is?
Speaker 1:everyone in the entire resort knows. And do you think d Diane would have missed that? How would she miss it?
Speaker 2:It doesn't feel like she knows. That's what I'm saying. The character doesn't act like she knows. That's how everyone else feels. Yes, but she would know. I know that in the world she would know. I'm arguing. I don't think this character knows, because everyone clears out. He turns around and is like what happened? And she is like I don't know, I don't know why everybody left while you were singing about. You know, loving little girls I have no idea.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know what, I figured it out. Okay, talk to me, she knows, right. But she knows that if everybody thinks that he's fair game for her, completely, no one else is going to make a move on him, right?
Speaker 2:So she's just like it's clear blank. This is her getting rid of the competition. I could dispel the rumors, but this Liz will help me get into his pants. Okay, I see, I see, I'm with it. Good plan, Diane.
Speaker 1:He's like I must find Nicky now. Why is he worried?
Speaker 2:about Nicky now? Well, because he loves little girls. Thank God for little girls. He's just thinking about his little girl.
Speaker 1:He forces someone to track down. Pablo goes to Pablo's house. Pablo's sleeping with a woman. He breaks into the bedroom and everyone's like what's happening.
Speaker 2:I don't know what's happening. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1:And then Ben is like he's like no, pablo says go find Ben, he's with Ben, yeah. So then Ben's with her and he's all like, oh, we'll hide on my parents' boat until he leaves, yes. And she's like, nah, I don't want to do that, I'm just going home.
Speaker 2:Well, because my question is like what do you mean until he leaves? He's going to leave vacation without the young lady that he brought on vacation. Yes, he's just going to like go to the airport and be like man. If she's not here in five minutes, I'm going to leave with the plane. Oh boy, what do I do in this? All right, see you later Call.
Speaker 1:See you later. Call me what he's. He's on, trafficked her by putting her on a boat.
Speaker 2:He's on traffic there. Wow, this guy's a real hero.
Speaker 1:He's a hero. Wow, we and then she just like maybe I won't do this, it just goes home to fight with him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds about right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, then we do the whole. You don't love me. 13th birthday thing, saw you and you didn't come to my birthday. And then he says I'm sorry, I'll do anything. And you're like, oh, he's going to have to do something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's going to have to go along with this whole creepy storyline.
Speaker 1:She confesses, she tells him that she told Ben he was a lover.
Speaker 2:And I love him. He does not get mad enough. He gets mad, does he Not mad enough? I'm just going to throw that out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and she's all like. He's like tell him and she's like I love him, he'll hate me, I'm going to die, and you're like. This is when the father says you know, this is young love. You're either going to get over it or the love will endure. And if he really cares about your love, you're going to tell him the truth and I'm going to go tell him the truth right now, period.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, because he also Says something about how this could ruin His entire life, but he says it very casually. He's very nonchalant about the fact that this Could literally ruin his entire life, but he says it very casually. Oh, does he? He's very nonchalant about the fact that this could literally ruin his entire life. He'll go to prison, yeah.
Speaker 1:No. Does she go and then tell him a bunch of lies at this point, some more lies about her parents and the prostitute deal.
Speaker 2:I mean, don't you think she has to?
Speaker 1:Yeah, she goes to Ben and tells him a lot more lies.
Speaker 2:for some reason, and at some point, oh, that's not yet, don't worry about it, never mind, there's something I gotta talk about in a little bit.
Speaker 1:Then she sets up that he has a heart condition and that's why she can't leave him, because of his heart condition.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, she tells him he's dying. Yeah, right, she tells him he's dying.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And then Ben's like but he's out water skiing, you lied, and now he has to now act sick. And then Ben has to come over and see him acting like he's sick because he's dying yeah.
Speaker 2:Yep Makes perfect sense, doesn't?
Speaker 1:it.
Speaker 2:What is happening? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Know, because it's this movie just whiplashes you.
Speaker 2:You're just like it's confusing, because they do.
Speaker 2:You always talk about how you need the one line to explain stuff and they technically do use the line and they give ben the moment to be like, well, he's not's not dying, he's fine. And she says some days are good and some days are bad. So then she has to set up a bad day where he's in bed and immobile and it's just so weird, everything is so weird that happens here. And I think this is the scene where he's wearing a white t-shirt, andre, with the deepest V I've ever seen in my life. I don't know if it's this scene or a different one, but at one point he's wearing a V-neck t-shirt where the V almost goes to his navel. I've never seen anything like that before and it is weird. It's the French V, the French V Just as deep as you can get.
Speaker 1:Rocking the French feet. He calls the girlfriend. Again no answer. Then he yells at. Diane. And then he's like, leave me alone. Then she runs away, then he follows her to apologize, but then he falls down and then she laughs at him and then she's back.
Speaker 2:And everything's fine. Yep, everything's fine. You know, sometimes just like a little self-deprecating humor is all you need, you know make yourself look like a fool, and people love you.
Speaker 1:So now he's on board. So the next day he goes to meet Ben and then tells Ben a whole bunch more lies. He tells Ben a bunch of his lies.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then she gets jealous because the two of them are bonding over his great lies.
Speaker 2:But at least at this, point you go okay, I get where she gets it, because apparently this guy is a pathological liar as well and these people are just trash people. They're garbage, scum of the earth.
Speaker 1:And so what do we do? Now we come up with a new scenario, new plan, new plan. He's feeling insecure, so you need to make a fool of yourself in front of him.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so then we have a montage of sucking at tennis, at golf and at windsurfing.
Speaker 2:Yep. And then is this where they have the conversation, where Ben is like I guess I am better at him Than at something.
Speaker 1:And then what does she say, dan, this is the night time, they're walking and they're laughing at him. And what does she say? I don't remember.
Speaker 2:Well, he says I guess there is something I can do better than him. And she says in a very sultry voice there are a lot of things you can do better than him. And it's just creepy. It's just so creepy because we know what she's talking about and he's just cool with it. I just he needs to not like it, you know, because then I don't like anybody in the movie. There's three, I would say there's three main characters in the movie Andre, who is going along with these creepy, creepy claims. The daughter, who's a pathological liar lying about that stuff. And then Ben, who's turned on by the fact that she's doing all this stuff. And they're all bad people.
Speaker 1:I don't like anybody. When you're a young person especially, you're jealous. All young people get very jealous and it's horrible, and then hopefully, when you get to be 50.
Speaker 2:I'm almost there. Okay, good Shit, I got some time.
Speaker 1:You got less of that going on in your life and you're like, oh, you know, everyone's going to do their own thing, sometimes this, sometimes that I'm not going to worry about all you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my life's already over, so what do I care?
Speaker 1:But young people get incredibly jealous and he's not exactly. He's not jealous of Andre.
Speaker 2:No, he's like excited by the fact that she's with an older guy because that means she's loosey-goosey. I'm pretty sure that's what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're right. If he really loved her, then he would be jealous about these things.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And he'd truly try to be protective of her, but he's not really.
Speaker 2:He's not because he becomes best friends with Andre for a minute he's like wow, he's the coolest guy in the world.
Speaker 1:I get why you're with him. That's basically what happens for a little bit. That's weird.
Speaker 2:It's so weird so then he's off playing piano. Nikki sees him and she's all like I'm in love with that man she. The way that she's looking at him while he plays piano is completely inappropriate, because ben clocks it and is like I didn't get it.
Speaker 1:I didn't understand why you're with him until I saw you watching him play piano so that was the one good piece of acting in the movie, I mean I guess. So then he's like, okay, you need to write him a love letter, and so they sit there and he basically writes the love letter.
Speaker 2:And I think it's yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:And then Nikki cries. I can't tell him the truth and she's despondent. Andre hangs out with the nerd.
Speaker 2:Now, dan, I have a question and you know, maybe we can't answer this appropriately, so you know.
Speaker 1:Sound off in the comments and let me know what you think. Hold on, that wasn't the love letter part.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's not the love letter part, because this is in regards to the love letter part.
Speaker 1:Ben left note Of him never seeing.
Speaker 2:Andre's dead.
Speaker 1:Oh that they Set up that he Ben's. Maybe Ben Leaves her a note that says We'll get together once Andre's dead. That's what it is.
Speaker 2:He leaves Her a note he leaves her a Note that's saying I'm gonna step back Because you guys are good together, and then, yeah, once he's dead, I'll come back, which is a very weird letter to write.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to throw that out there. When your lover is dead, then we shall be together.
Speaker 2:Then call me. Give me a call, babe, give me a call.
Speaker 1:Yeah, free time. Then the guy that you're in love with and dies, okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God so weird.
Speaker 1:The morning she's despondent, andre's hanging out with the nerd nikki goes windsurfing, but she windsurfs too far out and then right crashes into a rock. Andre tries to swim, swim out there to save her because the boat is broken. He cramps up and is about to die. They get the boat going, but ben is also swam halfway, so they pick up ben pick up, nicky pick up andre, everybody's safe well, andre's almost dead they take andre in. Is anyone a doctor?
Speaker 1:the random italian doctor comes over there and saves him yeah then, as he's leaving, diane hits on him and we're like okay, diane's, which is great, she's great.
Speaker 2:You know what she really married up there you know what I mean, like from andre to this very handsome italian doctor. Like that's a huge step up for diane. I'm very happy for her. Yeah, that's good. Now Dan, in the boat, while they're chasing Andre, katherine Heigl is screaming Daddy, daddy. Yeah, and calls him Daddy a bunch of times and then clocks it Like he understands it, but he never is like oh, is he your father?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I don't understand Like he's. I don't know, man.
Speaker 1:They make her say it a bunch of times and you're like this is the point at which he's going to realize what's going on and we can move on from this plot line, but instead she says it a bunch of times and we ignore it.
Speaker 2:I was so confused, it was so blatant. So confused, it was so blatant and like I understand, like that could be a term of affection as well and in that you know scenario, I guess I pop but it like, but she's not like. It's very clear, I don't know. It's super weird. She sounds like a 14 year old saying it 100. Yeah, daddy, daddy I love you, right?
Speaker 1:if she's doing that to her boyfriend, then you're fucking afraid. You got to make sure he's very dead when you go back to her.
Speaker 2:Very dead.
Speaker 1:Nikki randomly runs into Ben the next day at the market and apologizes, and then he's all like stay away from me.
Speaker 2:Right because of the love they share. Her and Andre Is that? I don't know. I kind of thought that he figured it out, but he didn't, so I don't understand.
Speaker 1:So Andre forces Nikki to write a love letter. Then they go to the house and they tie it to a rock and throw it through his window.
Speaker 2:Through the window. Let's be clear he breaks the window and nobody cares. Not a single person is upset about this window. I found that very strange.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you a question. Let's delve into Tony's life, please, please, imagine you lived in a room at your house when you were a kid. You're 17. And you had a psychotic girlfriend and she threw a rock through your window. Yeah, how would your dad?
Speaker 2:react my, oh, my god. My dad personally, I mean shit would have hit the fan. I mean he would have been outside immediately, like the second he hears that break. He's outside, probably not with a gun but with a bat, at least being like what the fuck is going on? Who's paying for this window? I'm not paying for this window. I didn't break shit, I you know.
Speaker 2:I remember one time we were playing baseball in my backyard and we broke my neighbor's window and that was a bad. The neighbor didn't care. I had the sweetest neighbors, by the way. They were like the nicest people in the world, loved them. My dad opposite, like he, was like I had to pay that shit back, which is fine, I get it, I broke it. But why is he more mad than the neighbors? You know what I mean. Like, if you come out and you're like, oh man, you broke the window, like you're gonna have to pay for it, but it's all cool, that's fine, that's great. Thanks for being understanding. I will pay for your window gladly because you're a nice person. If you come out, you're screaming at me. I'm like, oh fuck, you pay your own window. I don't give a shit about you. That's how I react to things. I don't remember what the question was there. I'm spinning off the planet here. You got me it. You got me all fired up you answered it.
Speaker 1:So the rock goes through the window. Ben comes out. He's reading the letter. Nikki pops up here's my one laugh at the movie. She says you got my letter.
Speaker 2:I don't think that was a joke, though was it? It was funny to me. You got my letter oh you got my letter Weird. He got my letter. Got my letter weird that is funny.
Speaker 1:Now that you're saying it, I'm laughing. It's a good joke. Um, and then we do with the whole serenade of bergerac, where he tells her what to say and then she's like, you know, he's like tell him that you love him I'm telling you that I love him. You know, just, she messes up tenses and things and I hate it so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's terrible. Also, this is where I'd like to ask the question that I was going to bring up before.
Speaker 1:Okay, Question Incoming question.
Speaker 2:Now am I the bad guy here, Well, let me tell what.
Speaker 1:I'm saying first I'm the good cop, you're the bad cop. Tell what I'm saying. I'm the good cop, you're the bad cop.
Speaker 2:Well, sure, I mean, I think everybody knows that by now, yeah, but am I a bad father that this is not something he should be doing? He should not be helping his 14-year-old daughter tell a 17-year-old boy that she's in love with him. I just don't think that this is an appropriate situation. Oh, absolutely not.
Speaker 1:Does that make me a bad guy? Somebody tell me, yeah, but he's like a needy dad and he's got to do anything for her right.
Speaker 2:He's throwing her in the arms of a horny 17-year-old boy. Nothing good is going to come of this.
Speaker 1:He could have a beautiful baby, right, beautiful baby. Forgive me please, I can't imagine my world without you in it.
Speaker 2:I love you. You're like, yeah, what is this? Romeo and juliet like let's calm down, let's pump the brakes.
Speaker 1:This is too much yeah, it's like let's do some kissing and soft petting and that'll be enough, and then I'll leave on a plane and then I'll yeah, and then I'll go home from vacation.
Speaker 2:This is a vacation.
Speaker 1:I I mean, uh, this is too much then they walk back and she's, she critiques his genuine love talk so like yeah he just told her what to say to get what she wanted, and and then she's all like you, suck.
Speaker 2:We're not great at that.
Speaker 1:She should be like thank you, daddy. Now I'll have his tongue in my mouth and you can think about that when you're going to sleep. This is what.
Speaker 2:I'm saying this is not okay, Dan, this is not okay.
Speaker 1:Aye, aye aye, okay, the next day she puts some clothes on. That, I guess, look good and he's all like you look glorious, beautiful, blah, blah, blah. What was she wearing? I don't know what she was wearing I think just like a dress, right, that wasn't the little black cocktail dress. That was earlier, right? Yes, I mean that. And the bikini were certainly a super hot looks, and then I don't even remember what this look was.
Speaker 2:I think this is just like an appropriate dress up. I don't know.
Speaker 1:They go to the dance. He's not here I'll die if I don't see him. And then they slow dance. Oh no, he's slow dancing, she's slow dancing.
Speaker 2:I think he's dancing, oh they dance.
Speaker 1:Then they dance. And then he's all like, if he doesn't come, he doesn't deserve you. And then there he is. And then he's all like go get it on, make my baby, make me dance, granddaughter or grandson.
Speaker 2:And then they're out there on the beach making out or doing whatever they're doing, and then he's watching them, watching them from the back, watching them from the back, and then he's watching them, he's watching them. I don't know, man, I don't know. I'm glad I don't have kids.
Speaker 1:That's what you would be doing, but you'd have a sniper rifle. He would almost be leering.
Speaker 2:He seems happy about it and he's enjoying watching his daughter kiss a boy. There's some weird shit going on. I got my hand on speed dial like 911, because this guy's about to be murdered. I just saw it, officer. I didn't do it. I don't know. I don't know. I'm glad I don't have kids. I would have been a terrible father.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, couldn't have had a girl. Then he calls oh boy. Um, then he calls boy I want to be very clear.
Speaker 2:This is not a gender thing. For me, this is.
Speaker 1:This is strictly an age thing, and let's be children as long as we can, okay, I guess your point is you'd either kill the guy dating your, your daughter, or you'd kill your son who went too far with the girl.
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, either, either whoever's the perpetrator in the situation's going down. That's what I'm telling you. I don't care if I'm blood related.
Speaker 1:If you're doing something wrong, I'm taking you out so he calls the girlfriend and says I blah, blah, blah, I want to, I want to marry you. Then she answers, and then he's like and let's have a kid. And then he's like this is all good stuff, make sure it's a girl, and then she's, she's sort sure it's a girl, and then she's sort of it's Emma Thompson and she sort of talks. And it feels like she's like playing him or something.
Speaker 2:Right, it's certainly felt that way, which is I didn't understand it. But also, you know, nikki called that out at some point. She's like she's waiting for you to propose. That's why she's doing this, which didn't make sense to me. But you know girls, you know girls got the mind of their own. What do I know? I don't know nothing yeah, so it is set up earlier that that would be the answer of the of their problem, unquote. But we don't know enough about the problem for any of that to make sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was super duper weird.
Speaker 2:And also just the line being like make sure it's a girl. That creeped me out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was weird, it was weird yeah.
Speaker 2:So, to sum up, creepiest movie I've ever seen and I hope it's the creepiest movie I ever see. I don't want to see any other movies that are like well, if you like this one, watch this one you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Oh, we'll have to find some recommendations yeah, based off of my father, the hero, please oh yeah, this movie, yeah, I mean gerard de verdue was like the number one actor in france I remember you said that last week when I brought this up, and then it just makes me feel like I should be French, because clearly I'd be super famous, because they're obviously the worst actors in the world.
Speaker 1:And then he had a big falling out, a fall from grace, you know oh no, he got like canceled.
Speaker 2:Is it because of this movie? Because I would get it.
Speaker 1:I think it happened later something I don't remember what it was. I should have looked it up and then he should have. He, he like, went to live in russia or someplace really weird.
Speaker 2:He defected to russia, he had to go someplace really weird yeah, oh wow, I did not realize there was such an interesting history with this yeah, all right, we should probably look it up really quick.
Speaker 1:Let's see, Look it up really quick. Gerard Depardieu, da-da-da-da-da, 250 films. Wow, he worked with Truffaut, Godard René Ridley, Scott Berlucci you know big people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, big, big names.
Speaker 1:Oh. Repeatedly accused of sexual assault, the French authorities have charged him with rape and since 2021, he's been under informal investigation. He's denied it, but I think he ran off to someplace.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I mean, you know not to be that guy, but I feel like I called it just now.
Speaker 1:Citizenship. Yeah, there he is with Putin in 2013. Yeah, he ran off to Russia, I'm pretty sure Granting him Russian citizenship in 2013. Yeah, there you go. Oh my God, this is like some serious shit. Maybe him and Steven Seagal are like best friends. They're like hanging out.
Speaker 2:One of his accusers committed suicide. Yeah yeah, this is some bad shit. All right, oh man, I can't believe I chose this movie Good job, tony, now it feels even weirder. We gotta get out of this, Randy. Let's get out of the show. This is too much.
Speaker 1:Bye, bye, you're our Deppardue. Enjoy your stupid life in Russia.
Speaker 2:We won't miss you. Oh god, I don't like this at all.
Speaker 1:Okay, the end of that movie good enough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll never talk about this movie again.
Speaker 1:Never again. Now we're supposed to talk about something we like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's going to be tough.
Speaker 1:What you don't have, anything you like, I don't. Yeah, I've watched a lot of great stuff. Oh, we're watching the Serpent Queen. That's the movie. That's the show. We're watching the Serpent Queen. That's the movie. That's the show we're watching the Serpent Queen. What's that? It's a period drama about one of those old French queens oh, it's French queens. Yeah, did she go to France? I think she went to France. I don't think she went to England. Yeah, because it's the-. Oh, yeah, we've seen that.
Speaker 2:We saw commercials for this during other things that we've watched. Is it good?
Speaker 1:Oh God, it's so good.
Speaker 2:Really, what's her-?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it's like the queen is like full queen and that's played by what's her name? Whose?
Speaker 2:name.
Speaker 1:I don't know queen, and that's played by what's her name? Whose name I don't know, who I love. She's so cool and then we're seeing how she became that person. So like it's mainly how she's going to become the queen, so it's a younger actress playing her, and that's. It's just great it's just, oh just, everything about it's great. We've watched like two episodes and I'm just so happy with it wow, okay yeah yeah, great stuff.
Speaker 2:So what you got for?
Speaker 1:us, tony, you talk about the pizza cold pizza you have in the refrigerator I do.
Speaker 2:Actually I got some great pizza. We, we, our favorite local joints called rocky's gourmet pizza up in glendale, it's's good man. We have a barbecue chicken with pineapple in there. Gonna be great. We tried watching the new Batman animated show, the Cape Crusader Okay, not great. We're two episodes away from finishing. Love is Blind UK. Yeah, it's pretty good, which is good. Yeah, I mean we're having fun we're having fun.
Speaker 2:It's not as salacious as the us one but you know they're like real people going through it as opposed to the american one. So like it, it depends on what you want to see. You know what I mean. Um, and then you know, pre-season football's on, but that's terrible. Can't wait for the real season in begin. In fact, when this comes out, it might be opening week, I don't know. Oh, okay, I'm not sure we're close, that's for sure September. So you know, we're just kind of in a holding battle Like a lull. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, what I was going to do for next week, yes, was we were going to do. Remember, when we watched the Blue Planet, one for Fantastic Planet.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'll never forget it.
Speaker 1:I was going to pick a movie that's not a terrible movie but will take us out of our comfort zone.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, just like this movie did.
Speaker 1:The movie I wanted to do was Naked Lunch.
Speaker 2:Naked Lunch.
Speaker 1:But of course it's only available on Criterion Collection. So you're gonna have to buy the DVD and then we'll do it another time.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So the other movie. Well, I had another movie I wanted to do, and we're gonna do that later because there's a new, new movie that we need to do.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love new, new movies.
Speaker 1:All right, and it's the number one movie on Netflix right now Wait.
Speaker 2:Is this Mark Wahlberg? Yes, oh, I'm so excited. I can't remember what it's called, but I'm pumped Mark Wahlberg, Halle Berry her hair looking.
Speaker 1:She's got the Dan Goodsell hair game going on, so I'm super happy, Tony's gonna hate her hair. It's gonna be wonderful. I wasn't a huge happy. Tony's going to hate her hair. It's going to be wonderful. I wasn't a huge fan. It's called the Union.
Speaker 2:I don't know what it's about. I have no idea.
Speaker 1:I think it might be a spy thing or an action thing.
Speaker 2:I have no idea what it is.
Speaker 1:I don't know either, but I'm pretty excited about it. I was just like I hope Tony hasn't watched this yet. I mean it is on our list Dan, so if we waited another week, we probably would have watched it, so this is good.
Speaker 2:A little fear that you're going to watch it A little fear.
Speaker 1:We'll do Naked Lunch, maybe in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2:I'll try to order it.
Speaker 1:We got to do Naked Lunch, because I've never seen Naked Lunch.
Speaker 2:I've never heard of Naked Lunch, but it sounds delightful.
Speaker 1:I believe there's a Simpsons joke where Bart says we watched Naked Lunch and it was neither.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm already disappointed Great. No food, no nudity. What a joke. Do you know who David Cronenberg is? Only in jokes. You know what I mean. I don't think I actually know.
Speaker 1:The actual guy Did you ever see Jeff Goldblum's the Fly? Of course, yeah, that's Cronenberg.
Speaker 2:The director yeah, yeah, okay, got it.
Speaker 1:Oh, this is him. That's what you're saying. That's where he directed this movie also.
Speaker 2:The Fly is great, Disgusting but great. Yeah, well, this one, I think, okay, I can't wait to understand what it's even about.
Speaker 1:This is very exciting, and I don't know that you're going to understand what it's about.
Speaker 2:Oh great. Okay, that should be a very fun day for me.
Speaker 1:And it stars.
Speaker 2:Robocop, so the old one, not the new one. Yeah, the old one, it's too bad.
Speaker 1:Okay. Well, we're going to go take showers now.
Speaker 2:I'm going to burn all my clothes. It's going to be great. Get your.
Speaker 1:Debra Dew off our skin.
Speaker 2:Thank God for the union, yeah the union.
Speaker 1:That's going to be good.
Speaker 2:It's going to be a nice palate cleanser.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to see some real acting in that one.
Speaker 2:Poor Mark.
Speaker 1:If you like what we do, give us a thumbs up or a subscribe, or leave a comment. And, yeah, we'll be back next week talking about Mark Wahlberg and the union, the union. Goodbye everybody, bye, bye, bye everybody.