Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Rollerball
Ever thought a street luge scene could leave you both laughing and scratching your head? Join us in this episode where we kick off with some light-hearted banter about the art of mid-day naps before diving into Tony's pick for the week—the 2002 remake of "Rollerball." We humorously dissect the film, focusing on Rebecca Romijn's enigmatic scar and the baffling character choices. Along the way, Dan shares some entertaining celebrity sightings, featuring his encounters with Rebecca Romijn and Owen Wilson right in his neighborhood, adding a fun twist to our movie critique.
As we navigate through the chaotic production history of "Rollerball," you'll get a front-row seat to our analysis of the film's jarring deviation from the original’s social commentary to a focus on mindless action and nudity. We also recount amusing run-ins with celebrities like Owen Wilson and Freddie Prinze Jr., emphasizing their unexpected charms. From high-stakes street racing scenes to absurd character decisions, we break down why this remake missed the mark, making for an engaging and thought-provoking discussion.
Finally, we bring nostalgia into play by reminiscing about the original "Rollerball" while humorously critiquing the modern elements in sports movies. We touch on everything from the illogical border chase scenes to a humorous exchange about the extended cut of "Rebel Moon" and even the intrigue surrounding Olympic breakdancing. Prepare for laughs, head-scratching moments, and a good dose of nostalgia as we navigate through a cinematic misstep and appreciate the quirks that come with it.
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We should probably do this, so I don't fall asleep, because I'll fall asleep probably.
Speaker 2:You're going to fall asleep. It's midday, right when I start falling asleep.
Speaker 1:Right when I fall asleep, it's like my sleep time. It's Dan's nap time, every time, is my nap time.
Speaker 2:Hey watching with Dan and Tony. Hey watching with Dan and Tony. It's like watching. Yeah, welcome to hey Watching with Dan and Tony.
Speaker 1:It's like watching you. Welcome to hey. Why Are you With Dan and Tony? I am Dan, I am Tony, and on this show we watch movies and then we regale you with our Regale.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:We regale the audience with our criticisms of the movies. And love it's love it's a bit of both we spent the last three plus years honing this so that it's really broad.
Speaker 2:Is that a real-time timetable? Have we been doing this for three years, Dan?
Speaker 1:Well, I have 200 episodes and there's 50 weeks in the year, so we're closer to four years.
Speaker 2:Wow, and we missed a couple of weeks. So we're closer to four years, Wow, and you know we missed a couple of weeks, yeah. So closer to seven years.
Speaker 1:So for the last four years, we've realized that the key to this show is to make it more and more bloated.
Speaker 2:Just add more stuff, which that's funny because we're Zack Snyder-ing it. That's what I'll say.
Speaker 1:We are Zack Snyder-ing it. That's what I'll say. We are Zack Snyder-ing it. So each week one of us picks a movie. This week, I think it was Tony that picked the movie. It was Tony. Talk about the movie you picked.
Speaker 2:Well, the last episode we were talking about Solar Babies. Great film, Great film, wonderful film.
Speaker 2:And during this I was talking and we were talking about the sport that they play very briefly for one game in that movie, and I was like, boy, the rules should be this. And as I was saying that I realized I was basically describing the rules of Rollerball and I was like I guess we should just watch that movie now and see if it holds up to what in my head. And it didn't. Spoiler alert it doesn't Rollerball, we're doing the remake of Rollerball 2002. Chris Klein.
Speaker 1:Hour 37 minutes LL Cool J.
Speaker 2:LL Cool J man.
Speaker 1:Rebecca remains Stamos.
Speaker 2:But I think she's not Stamos anymore.
Speaker 1:Rebecca Romanos. I think not Stamos anymore, rebecca Romanos. They start her off wearing a mask, a big mask, because she has a hideous scar. Is that what it is? Yeah, she says that.
Speaker 2:So I have a question Just off of that character-wise In the arena she's like this badass biker chick, right?
Speaker 1:Big red helmet.
Speaker 2:But then she's like oh, I got a scar from playing my extremely dangerous sport that I voluntarily play. Yes, and she's ashamed of it. Shouldn't that be a badge of honor? She's like yeah, I play rollerball like a freaking badass. It feels like a weird character choice for me to make her embarrassed by the fact that she's like yeah, I play rollerball like a freaking badass. It feels like a weird character choice for me to make her embarrassed by the fact that she's a badass well, more importantly, it's a.
Speaker 1:It's a when they really first talk. When she talks, she says all this. They're her very, very initial time. When she talks, she says all this and then at no other point in the movie does it play out oh yeah, it's not like a yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:I think they at some point added that scene just because they were like why is she in this headdress all the time? Should we make an?
Speaker 1:excuse for it, and this is where I could tell my anecdote. Oh wow, the two most beautiful people I've ever seen in the world.
Speaker 2:In real life.
Speaker 1:In real life, irl. Both of them occurred on the street that I live now. Wow.
Speaker 2:Okay, how long have you been on this street?
Speaker 1:20 years, 20, 25 years.
Speaker 2:Okay, so we have. I would just I'm trying to hone in on the specifics, but we have a broad time frame, okay, continue.
Speaker 1:I saw I believe I think this was on our street. I saw her getting out of a car up at the Starbucks on Melrose Sure.
Speaker 2:Because it was just yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Speaker 2:Believe it In real life. Well, second next to Shannon, oh yeah, next to my beautiful wife. I'm glad that you did the clasping of the hands. You're so innocent.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's wonderful stuff, just a stunning human being. Yeah, totally. And then I saw what's his name Owen Wilson, most beautiful man I've ever seen, really At the coffee place, wearing like a tuxedo he was going somewhere, I don't know, I like the difference between those two stories. Like a tuxedo, um, he was going somewhere. I mean, you know, I don't know, but he was standing in front.
Speaker 2:I like the difference between those two stories because him wearing a tuxedo in the middle of nothing, just it's funny to me because it's like, yeah, he's owen wilson, what a goofball wearing a tuxedo.
Speaker 1:She was wearing some, some incredible something that was sure that showed off her figure. But uh, she's, she's a wow, she's a big wow.
Speaker 2:Let's talk a little bit more about Owen Wilson being the most beautiful man you ever seen, because I don't know if you know, just in the movies I don't feel like he's always that attractive.
Speaker 1:You don't? That's interesting. But when I saw him in person you were just like you know, there's beautiful, you know model-y men or whatever. But you just looked at him and you were just like you have to have that something. When they put you up on that gigantic screen for you to be like, oh yeah, I want to just sit here and watch this guy.
Speaker 2:You know he's got the weird nose and there's a bunch of things going on, but he was.
Speaker 1:But it's working for him. Okay, he was stunning to look at. You were like wow.
Speaker 2:Well, now I'm going to tell my anecdote, dan, about the time I met Freddie Prinze Jr, also a beautiful man, okay, and that was just at one of my wrestling shows. He came and we all went out back and some people smoke out back. He was not smoking, I just want to be very clear. And we talked for a few minutes. He will never remember who I am, but I will always remember that moment. I love him. Freddie, if you're out there, let's BFFs.
Speaker 1:There it is. That's never happening. So, yeah, so this movie, this movie, this movie is based on a 70s movie, 1971. This movie, I guess we'll talk a little bit about how it got made. They, they wrote up this script where it's uh, you know, social issues talking about, you know sports and society and violence, and, yeah, corporate control and ratings and all of these things. And then john mctiernan, the director, who did die hard, a perfect movie, all that stuff threw it in the trash and said I'm going to make an exciting action movie, action violence, sports movie with a lot of nudity. Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 2:Seems like a weird choice.
Speaker 1:Then he made that movie and they showed it to people and all the people were like what?
Speaker 2:the fuck is this what's happening right now? Why is this happening? I don't want to see this anymore.
Speaker 1:So then they did lots of reshoots and then they ended up with this thing, which is it has to be amongst the thinnest of movies. You know we've done some pretty thin movies. There is not a lot to chomp your teeth in to this movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's great. It's a real treat for the census, did you see?
Speaker 1:the original. I seen the original and I watched the opening scene of the original and I watched some recaps and most of the recaps are these whiny millennials or Gen Xers going like. This movie is not successful in doing what it's, but I still think it's one of those really quintessential. You know, it's like the corporations have taken over the world and he you know, Jonathan, the main guy has is the biggest sports star in the world and the idea of the sport is it's supposed to teach people that life is futile it's kind of.
Speaker 2:It's almost like purge-like. You know what I mean? Totally. War has been eradicated and the only place where violence is allowed is the rollerball, which is such a fun. What a fun idea. Where did that at least keep that Like in this movie? There's no reason for any of it. Nope, no reason. It's just a sport that they play in a different country. That's it. That's the whole premise of the movie. That's not a movie.
Speaker 1:At some point they sort of tease that they're trying to get the North American sell the North American rights and that's kind of why they need him. But they don't.
Speaker 2:Not only do they not need it, america doesn't give a shit about him. No, he's nothing. He's almost made the NHL. He hasn't even made it.
Speaker 1:No, no, no he would Okay In the information dump that we get at the beginning. He was the number one pick of the NHL.
Speaker 2:But he doesn't play for them anymore.
Speaker 1:They wanted him in the minors. Yeah, he went to the minors.
Speaker 2:So that's where you go to practice? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Listen.
Speaker 2:I don't pay a lot of attention to the NHL, even though I'm from Minnesota, but my understanding is you go to the minors because you're not quite ready. You're gonna be ready and you're good, but you're not there yet, so he's not a huge draw I can't imagine that the number one pick in the nhl they put they send to the minors.
Speaker 1:There would never be a reason for that unless he sucks. They might do that in baseball because I know baseball. Baseball I know, spends a lot of time working people up. But well, your career is is usually longer.
Speaker 2:I think in baseball this could be. I might be throwing out stuff from nothing, but I feel like in a, in a sport like hockey, it's probably a shorter career span, like similar to football, how most of the time you don't last that long because your body's getting beat to shit. Baseball feels like you could probably do it for a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so in this movie we set up with this weird downhill race, which we'll talk about in a second. Yes, we will. And then he meets LL Cool J, who's playing in the rollerball leagues.
Speaker 2:He gets him to go and join the rollerball leagues and then the next time we see him him he's basically the best player on the team, I guess, but also isn't it still his first game?
Speaker 1:I couldn't tell you the millions first game. I know both things at the same time, dan, I think it's his first game he's the best one in the league already.
Speaker 2:No, because they chant his name.
Speaker 1:When he comes, john John Norton.
Speaker 2:They chant his name because of all the publicity I'm assuming, because when he gets, when Chris Clyburn goes out, he's like, oh my God, like he's shocked by it all. Oh, okay, it has to be his first game, it does I mean listen, someone can tell me I'm wrong. I think it's his first game in the league.
Speaker 1:Think it's his first game in the league and only as far as I can tell, he only plays two games in a week.
Speaker 2:No, no, they play three games because they play a third. They play, they play two games.
Speaker 1:They play the golden horde twice and then oh, that's right.
Speaker 2:First and third, and then they play a team in the middle the guy in the suit of armor.
Speaker 1:Is that it? You're right? Do they really only play three?
Speaker 2:games, a total of three games in this movie. Oh my God, it's so terrible. And it's his retirement game. I don't understand. Maybe I'm wrong. Listen, I'm not saying I'm 100% sure that this is his first game, but I'm pretty sure it's his first game.
Speaker 1:No, I think you're right, and they're like the amount you're getting paid and you're like why?
Speaker 2:is he getting paid? And then they tell you how much he's getting paid, by the way, and it's not very much money.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, the big bonus they're going to give him is $100,000.
Speaker 2:And you're just like $100,000? That's nothing, Not to be rude, but that is not enough money to do what you're doing, sir.
Speaker 1:No money to do what you're doing, sir? No, I mean because it's supposed to be take place. Wait, does this?
Speaker 2:no, the the original rollerball takes place in 2018 I don't know if this one's written in the 70s and this one takes place in 2005 and was made in 2002 so it's the same time period, so you know, in two years he's gonna leave. I don't understand why you would do that.
Speaker 1:That doesn't make any sense yeah, I mean that's not like an appreciable amount of money, more than like what you make no, well, that's what I'm saying, like, and obviously we're later right this is 20 years later later, but but even, even then it's not a ton of money they Sports.
Speaker 2:people were still making millions of dollars.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, this is not enough money to risk your life. Yeah, so, yeah. So the whole thing starts with his downhill race where he's racing this other guy.
Speaker 2:It's called Street Luge, dan let's get it right, okay.
Speaker 1:It's a downhill street luge. Yes, yeah, and it's him versus another guy. I'm going to need you to explain this to me they start at the top of the hill, then they're going through San Francisco, for yeah, there's people with cameras.
Speaker 2:I don't know if there's a wager or it starts with. The people with the cameras are going to pay him $400.
Speaker 1:Oh, is it $400?
Speaker 2:Oh, I didn't hear that $400 to take pictures of this race. Why?
Speaker 1:would they pay him to take pictures of the race?
Speaker 2:I don't know I don't understand anything that's happening.
Speaker 2:One who's, the other guy Don't know, Because he seems to want to kill chris climb. He keeps trying to push him into traffic. Why is he doing that? What is this rivalry? That's that that we never see again? No, who's paying 400 to take pictures? But they're also kind of like. They kind of like yell at them too. They like drive next to him in a car and and yell things at them. Hey, look over, look over here, dump, dump. I don't understand anything that's happening right now.
Speaker 1:I mean and that's the whole thing is. If you do a little research there's there's a bunch of things about how street racers you know interact with with you know. It's like if you were sure a person like that, you'd be like hey guys, we're on the YouTube channel, I'm going to go from the top of this mountain all the way there and follow along, and then he'd be paying people and he'd be making money off the channel, or someone would be making money somewhere.
Speaker 2:Right, they should. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. Now my second question. I actually have a lot of questions about this first scene Question. The second would be as he's still an NHL prospect at this point, I guess, would you jeopardize your entire NHL career to do a street? It's incredibly dangerous. They haven't blocked off the streets at all, there's just cars and pedestrians everywhere. Would you put your life in danger like that if you're about to make millions of dollars in the NHL?
Speaker 1:Well, he's, he doesn't think he's going to the NHL, said you've got to go to the minors and so he said I don't want to do that, bro, and I mean, what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to make him an adrenaline junkie, right? And so there's no reason for a race. You know you can make it as dangerous as you want, just him by himself doing a thing like I live on the edge fuckers. You know that I love this character. This character we will want to watch.
Speaker 2:That character's name is Xander Cage from Triple X. Oh, ok, that character's name is zander cage from triple x. Oh okay, is that? Is that who he is? I'm pretty sure I. I should have done my research and I apologize, I'm pretty sure the first time we see triple x he is also street lugeing. Oh okay, like I'm, I'm, I'm, I feel good about that. Yeah, but that's listen. That's also probably a franchise. We'll hit on this at some point.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I think I've seen this, I don't know. I feel like.
Speaker 2:I've seen maybe one and two, were you saying you've seen the?
Speaker 1:second one. I'm pretty sure I've seen this. That's with Ice Cube or something. I'm almost sure I've seen the second one. That movie's wild that movie is wild.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's wild Okay wild.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's wild, okay, um yeah, I don't know. So we have to set him up as something and we set him up as nothing. We set him up as, like, I'm just doing a thing to do a thing, do it just for fun, for 400, like this.
Speaker 2:He's doing everything for such little money. First of all, it's weird to me like this. This movie came out when I was in high school right, I think, junior year of high school 2002, right, not to date myself too much. Whoops For $400 in high school. That's nothing to me, that's nothing Like even then. That's nothing to me. It's so weird. And it doesn't set him up for rollerball at all.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, that is not a skill, it's not even he should be on skates.
Speaker 2:He should be on skates. This should be an inline downhill skating thing. How is that not the thing you choose? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. That's just such an easy choice. He's on wheels already. You just make him rollerblade down the thing, make it a roller race. I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's bizarre let's get to the bigger question. Could you shoot this any more uninteresting?
Speaker 2:they look like they're going so slow, which they probably are, because safety concerns right, but when we do the wide shots. They're being held back. There's probably a car following them that's going like five miles per hour and they're just we'll paint that out in post.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, good job guys good job.
Speaker 2:I just they. They when they do the wide shots they're so slow. They should at least keep it tight, then Make it seem like they're going at high speeds, because then the guy, the rival guy, hits something and flies 200 feet in the air into a restaurant window or something, oh, and he dies.
Speaker 1:He has to be dead? Oh, because after it's over, the police are waiting at his apartment. That's kind of why he goes, and leaves.
Speaker 2:That's a good point. I didn't understand why there were 15 policemen at the street loser's apartment, because he killed a guy.
Speaker 1:That dude died yeah.
Speaker 2:And he killed a guy.
Speaker 1:He could kill a guy, Well wow.
Speaker 2:Almost like you could have that as a plot in the movie, sure, but instead we'd never talk about it again. He doesn't even care. He doesn't even care that he just killed this guy for four hundred dollars get away from me.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're dead. Like okay, I guess so he. He gets to the bottom and then there's ll cool, jay.
Speaker 2:He doesn't get to the bottom Dan.
Speaker 1:Oh, he's still going.
Speaker 2:He's still going. He's running from the cops. Ll Cool J just runs into him, like he just finds him in the street somehow and he's like hey, bro, get in the car. So he has to jump off the street, luge into the car, which is ridiculous. How did LL Cool J find him? How did he know?
Speaker 1:He was watching it on YouTube Live Because.
Speaker 2:Chris Klein doesn't even know that he's in town. He's like oh bro, when did you get back in town? I don't what's happening here, dan.
Speaker 1:In movies you have supreme coincidences, right.
Speaker 2:That's a.
Speaker 1:Thing that you have in movies and the good movies. You don't think about how insanely coincidental something happening is until later. But if you're sitting there watching the movie and you're going like what, how does he? You can't do it like that.
Speaker 2:No, or at least make him comment on it.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Nope, you know, you just give them that line. Oh yeah, I heard you're doing this race today and I wanted to see what was going on.
Speaker 2:Great yeah, boom, that's perfect, that's all you need. You just give me one line, otherwise it's just like yeah, I was driving home from the grocery boy, I better help him out, so, yeah, so he's like, well, maybe you should come, and then he gets out and then he starts like wandering back home. He has no one to call why didn't LL Cool J just drop him off at his door?
Speaker 1:No clue, no clue. Why don't they go out for a drink? I don't know, maybe you could have the two of them, you know.
Speaker 2:Drive by and see the police and we could have some conversation down. You slow down the car like you're gonna stop and he's like oh shit, it's swarming with police, and then you just drive by. You know?
Speaker 1:you know just a movie thing maybe I will, you know, but he changes it, doesn't he just sort of change his mind and magically he's in 100, because when they say goodbye, lo cool jay says I'm here till nine o'clock tomorrow morning.
Speaker 2:If you change your mind and then he sees policemen because he's a murderer and he changed his mind, what are you gonna do? But didn't so okay. Another question yeah, they know where he lives, so they know who he is. He can't leave the country, dan how's he flying?
Speaker 1:out of the country in a murder investigation? He can, is he can't leave the country, dan, how's he flying out of the?
Speaker 2:country. He's been suspected of murder investigation.
Speaker 1:He can't leave.
Speaker 2:He can't leave. Oh boy, oh boy.
Speaker 1:I love this movie you know, then you just have one shot of this Learjet parked on the thing and he's all like there's your ride.
Speaker 2:There you go. Let's get out of here.
Speaker 1:Let's get out of this country Boom.
Speaker 2:There it is. He can't come back Because I'm wanted for murder.
Speaker 1:He can't come back to America. Wow, it's almost like he has to go and do something like this bullshit. He's just blown up. He's an adrenaline junkie. He's doing this race for street cred. Now he's got to get the fuck out of the country because there's a murder investigation hanging over his head. Wow, great, it's almost like he'd have a reason to be so.
Speaker 2:Look at that. You set up the movie.
Speaker 1:All right, moving on. That was so hard, and I mean we make fun of Hollywood writers and all that, but these directors have this at their hand and they choose not to do it. They're the ones that choose not to do these things. It's not that we're super brilliant with super ideas. These are the very easy ideas that I'm sure people hand them on a piece of paper. He's like no man, I know what I'm doing. No, you don't know what you're doing. He knows what he's doing.
Speaker 2:Dan, let me explain it to you. Okay, he did it for $400, all right, everybody's going to understand it's $400. It's like the lottery. Of course he's going to do it. You have to kind of set that up. You know what? I take it back. It actually makes perfect sense. You have to set up that. He will do something very stupid for very little money.
Speaker 1:Because then when?
Speaker 2:he goes to Kazakhstan or wherever they go he's like oh yeah, I'm going to do it for $100,000. Kazakhstan, or wherever they go? He's like, oh yeah, I'm going to do it for $100,000,. Guys, I'm going to murder everybody.
Speaker 1:So it actually makes perfect sense. Do you want to talk about the lack of charisma that Christopher Klein spews?
Speaker 2:out into the world. Let's talk about my boy, chris. This poor guy. This was one of those.
Speaker 2:I need to go back through his filmography. I shouldn't be talking out of pocket here, but I feel like this was his chance to prove he could do something other than a comedy. Sure, right, because I mean, you know he did American Pies Yep, great, those are great. He's fine in them. He's not the guy that you fall in love with in those movies, right, he's not the lead, he's just a fun character on the side, has a nice storyline.
Speaker 2:Whatever, he can do that, and I think this must have been one of his first real leading man roles. I would think so, yeah. And then it turns out he can't, some people can, some people can't, and he's he's fine in that side role. I want it. And the reason why I bring that up is because he's in one of my favorite movies, just friends, which I think is a criminally underrated comedy movie, first of all, christmas movie, all the above, and he is wonderful in that movie. He can play the goofy asshole so well. Sure, we should just cast him more than that. You know they probably did cast him, guys.
Speaker 2:At least he's working.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the way I look at it, at least I'm sure, I'm sure all those american pie movies bought him a house and cars.
Speaker 2:Oh, totally.
Speaker 1:Got him where he has a nice life.
Speaker 2:I hope so. Listen, if you're out there, Chris. I hope you're doing well, I really do, Because woof he's not good in this movie, he's not good in this movie.
Speaker 2:I want to be very clear. He is not charming or likable, which is a problem, because there's a scene where they talk about the scar, where him and Rebecca are talking about the scar, he doesn't come off empathetic or likable at all. He's like why it's fine, you look fine, stop being a little bitch about. It is basically the scene and I was so taken aback, like this is the scene where he should show the softer side and and like oh yeah, you know I'm a tough, hard ass, but also you know I'm a lovable, nice guy and that's why we're in a relationship like he needs to be a likable character and he's not so you're saying he brings the hardest of the relationship but not to the part of the rollerball where he's supposed to?
Speaker 2:be. Yeah, he mixed them up. That's. It's tough.
Speaker 1:It happens to all of us, you know so we're at the first um, the first thing, the first. Uh, it's game night. There's super cars, there's fancy titles, it's the horde versus the reds, or something they call. You know everyone in the stand. It's all minors, all these minors, and they're like John. John, he comes in, he does like a big flip, which I don't think you should ever be doing, these kinds of maneuvers on skates. I can't think you should ever be doing these kind of maneuvers on skates. I I can't imagine you should be doing this shit on skates.
Speaker 2:Well, you shouldn't, but that's why he's so cool. Oh okay, cool man, so real quick. The best actor in this movie is the announcer oh no, he's the worst, he's so horrible he's so funny, no, he's not funny I think he's great.
Speaker 2:He's got my favorite line of the whole movie, which is somewhere in this scene where we're about to play the first game and he's talking about the rules of the sport and I don't know. Blah, blah, blah. Eventually he says uh, the rest of the rules are all in russian and too confusing, so we're not going to talk about. That's funny, because this sport doesn't make any sense and they do spend a chunk of time, exposition wise, trying to explain the sport to me, where you roll around twice there's a bridge, there's jumps, there's a ball. I was what. There's 3d diagrams at some point that are trying to explain the sport to me. I was like guys, I don't think I care, I'm just gonna tell you, let me watch I gotta, I gotta tell you something about sports movies, don't okay, okay, tell me something about sports movies you may have never noticed this in sports movies, okay, but the audience has to understand what the score is.
Speaker 2:I mean in some way it would be nice if they showed a score at all Is there even a scoreboard in this?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I never saw one and they never show the scoreboard, so you never know who's winning, who's losing. What the stakes are of winning and losing are Nothing, Nothing, and I'm sorry. But so you never know who's winning, who's losing. What the stakes are of winning and losing are Nothing, Nothing, and I'm sorry, but the excitement of a sports movie, even in a terrible movie like Space Jam they show us.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, they show us, you mean Space Jam 2.
Speaker 1:Space Jam 2.
Speaker 2:Because Space Jam 1 is a perfect film.
Speaker 1:Space Jam 2. You see that and you know Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes. Space Jam 2,.
Speaker 2:You see that and you know Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes or LeBron and the Looney Tunes have to score X amount of points in a certain amount of time.
Speaker 1:And so you're like come on LeBron and the Looney Tunes, Come on Lola Bunny. We just want to look at you. I mean, yes, yes, Go, go, Tweety Bird, Go, Tweety Bird.
Speaker 2:Tweety Bird, but they never show us the score.
Speaker 1:The one thing we do see is the global ratings, which, when this global ratings is just this magic number 14.2, 14.4. So, as it either gets more exciting or less exciting, they have to then zhuzh that up by causing violence to make it go through the roof.
Speaker 2:Here's a couple of questions on ratings. Are they instantaneous, because nielsen ratings come out way later?
Speaker 1:no, of course they're not. This is okay, this is a 2005, so it's the future.
Speaker 2:Uh, so I guess maybe that's part of it. My other question, dan, is how does that even work?
Speaker 1:because they it's on a screen and the number goes up or it goes down. That's how it works.
Speaker 2:Problem solved let's say they start at 8.1 rating. Whatever, whatever the hell that means, right? Yes, yes and then somebody gets hurt and the ratings go to 12. How does that happen? How are people in real time? Are people just on the phone? Be like, bro, you got to check this out. Turn to channel 24 right now because someone just got hurt. That's not realistic. It's not like we have. I don't think we have Twitter at this point. Right, we don't have social media.
Speaker 1:Do we have social media?
Speaker 2:How are these people tuning in when something exciting happens that fast?
Speaker 1:You pick up your rotary phone. No, I mean, and that's well, it's three years in the future, so you know I'm sure they had all that stuff.
Speaker 2:You never know what's going to happen in three years Big things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is kind of absurd to think that you can, you could do something and then know that your, your audience is increasing to that level does it even today.
Speaker 2:That doesn't make any sense. Like all of your views come in vod video on demand afterwards, you know. I mean like they go viral on social media an injury in football. Everyone sees it late like it's weird. It doesn't make any sense and you get the.
Speaker 1:You know you should get the ratings afterwards right, a hundred percent, yeah. So you kind of want to have this one one where you're like, oh my god, that that terrible thing happened.
Speaker 2:So what that means is we gotta we gotta now start to jet the first one it has to be an accident, then the second one it's not an accident, then the second one it's not an accident. Yeah. And the third one you're like they're going to try and have somebody killed.
Speaker 2:And so in this one, let's see Well while you're looking at that, let's talk about Chris Klein's helmet for a minute. Dan, he never, not a single time, straps his helmet closed. His straps are always just dangling. That's not safe. His sport is incredibly dangerous and he's doing flips and stuff. How does his helmet stay on all the time?
Speaker 1:He doesn't even wear his special body armor.
Speaker 2:He doesn't even wear the special body armor.
Speaker 1:That's correct. He's too dangerous.
Speaker 2:It's ludicrous. It doesn't make him cooler than everybody else. It just bothers me when he's skating around and his flaps are doing this little. It drives me crazy.
Speaker 1:So we have a nice musical interlude, which I'm sure is one of Tony's favorite parts. What is the song that they do? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Here comes the boom ready or not they played that song in this movie. Yeah, I don't even remember it. Maybe I was looking at his chin strap the whole time. Yeah, because I do like that song.
Speaker 1:So this one guy. I wrote down that his name was Modok. I don't know if his name was Modok.
Speaker 2:That sounds like something that could happen in this movie.
Speaker 1:Kind of the dumb guy. He gets his helmet knocked off and then he gets the ball to the face.
Speaker 2:And this is why I was bringing this up and the ratings shoot up, dan, two questions yeah, one yeah again. Chris klein never straps his helmet. Yes, so like the fact that they find his helmet has been cut, the guy that just got beat up. Why does that matter?
Speaker 1:that's stupid well, because they knocked off his helmet, because they cut that first, his helmet doesn't even do anything he doesn't have a cage.
Speaker 2:They could just smash the front of his face they knock it off they need to take the helmet off at all. Just run the ball into the guy's nose and break his face that's so they.
Speaker 1:They have a clue. That's like a clue you have to have a clue.
Speaker 2:Somebody sliced it so they could take it off and hit him in a different part of his exposed head.
Speaker 1:So Jonathan sees this and he goes crazy and brings the vengeance to some more rock and roll music.
Speaker 2:Oh no, so that's the best part.
Speaker 1:This is the best part of the movie. So we get the vengeance and they get the. He's like he cues the rock band that's there.
Speaker 2:He cues them and they're like oh.
Speaker 1:And they're like, I'm just like, here we go this is what this movie. This is how this movie's going to get us going. It's going to have the greatest sports scenes ever and they win. And you're just. I was pumped, I was completely pumped and I'm like here we go, and then every other scene in the ring is worse than this one. They're dreadful the last one is literally the most dreadful of them all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what I'm confused about is him signaling the band.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he signals the band.
Speaker 2:Why is this the only time that he signals the band? Shouldn't he signal the band again at a different time? Because this is the only time it matters? Any time throughout the movie, when they're about to go on a run, he should be manipulating the game a little bit. He should be so good at the game that he's like okay, now I'm going to turn it on and take over the game. This is my MJ moment. Cue the music brothers, and then he goes and does some magic stuff you know, that should be like a thing, if it's going to be a thing what kobe used to do.
Speaker 1:Kobe be out there. He'd like give me the ball right, exactly like this is they're giving the ball to kobe and everyone's like, oh, they're giving the ball to kobe. Yeah, because they're giving the ball to kobe, it's takeover time that is a thing in sports like you, let your best player take over in the fourth quarter.
Speaker 2:That's what you do, right, that's what you do. Put that in there. You kind of did it just now, but like, make that a thing, make that part of his character, then because this movie doesn't understand about sports well, or character or anything, just anything in general.
Speaker 1:So they win my favorite part hold on. I just want to say one of my other favorite parts of this movie is when he takes a drink sometime at the half.
Speaker 2:They take like a time out. He takes a drink and he puts it down and they're like, hey, you have to drink again and he's very confused about it. Yeah, and ellen kush is like label out man. I loved that. That needs to be more in the movie. It needs to be, you know, the product placement. It's all about making your money that way, like these are the things that this should be about, and it might have been about it at some point. I don't know, maybe more changes happen, but there's kernels of a movie that I would like to see in here.
Speaker 1:Yep nope, no, they have a press conference, they do the locker room, then they all go out to the supercars. Let's talk about the locker room real quickly. The club.
Speaker 2:I'm going to give a shout out to the locker room scene.
Speaker 1:There is nudity.
Speaker 2:Yes, but not sexualized.
Speaker 1:No, not at all.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and I think that's cool. They lose it later when they make Rebecca work out topless, because that's insane. But this scene I appreciate the fact that it's like a co-ed locker room and it's just like it's a thing. We're all cool with it, we're comfortable with it. That's a cool moment. Again, they ruin it later, but that's a cool little moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because there's naked guys and girls and they don't care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, nobody cares. We're a team and we're doing it. I think that's cool. I will say that in the theatrical release they CGI'd black tank tops over the topless women because it was a PG-13 release.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:And then they went back and made the R-rated cut later.
Speaker 1:Whew. So they go to the club. There's a bunch of gangstery slash bodyguards that sort of watch them and that's sort of just a setup that they're always sort of being watched and there's always guys that are going to do stuff For why?
Speaker 2:For what? There's no reason really.
Speaker 1:They toast the guy that got messed up, and then we find out that his chimp strap was cut, and so Jonathan's going to go see the boss Petrovich and there's all these big wig investors. And then he tells the boss, you know, we can't be doing this. This is not cool, bro. Right.
Speaker 2:Why does he care?
Speaker 1:Why does Jonathan care? Because it's his team.
Speaker 2:He's a team player, yeah, but he doesn't say that. You know what I mean. I would like to hear some reasons why this upsets you a little bit, because right now I don't really get it.
Speaker 1:It's almost like a place where you could put in a personal anecdote about what he's dealt with in the world.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I didn't go to the NHL bosses. They would always do these things. They didn't care about us. Blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah is to say this line, the angriest man in the game.
Speaker 2:He just doesn't know it yet and you know who else doesn't know. It dan, what the audience well, they will never learn it because he's never angry.
Speaker 2:nope, never happens. The third act in that third game, when he goes back out there at the end, he should be angry. He's not. No, he's not angry, he's almost defeated. He basically goes out there and says I'm going to have to take the beating of a lifetime because that's what they want. He's not mad. He doesn't say I'm going to fuck some shit up right now because I'm the maddest man in the world. I don't understand this line.
Speaker 1:You mean there's a line in the movie that isn't paid off at any time, at any point in time Great stuff. Jonathan drives home, he talks to his handlers about gambling, then he sneaks back to the training facility where Rebecca remains. Stamos is working out.
Speaker 2:We have to mention this because it's the weirdest scene in the movie. Why would you ever in a million years work out topless Cause it's hot? What an unnecessary danger that is.
Speaker 1:You know, I was talking to Shannon and like we were watching the soccer Olympic soccer and like one of the guys like took off his shirt because he scored a thing and he's wearing like a sports bra and I'm like why, is a dude wearing a sports bra and she's like chafing yeah, 100% because of his nipples. He's out there sweating and doing everything that his nipples will get destroyed.
Speaker 2:His nipples will get destroyed.
Speaker 1:He has to wear a whole separate piece doing everything that his nipples will get destroyed, he has to wear a whole separate piece of clothing to protect his male nipples. Yeah, you just want to hold it in which someone like me? You know I don't have that problem.
Speaker 2:Dan, I do have that problem. I have two problems, to be honest with you. One is that just when I go like we went to Huntington Beach last week and we did a hike and we did 22 steps in a day, which is not something I normally do basically rubbed raw, because when I walk my boobies they bounce, bro, and my shirt does, you know what I mean? So it's rubbing constantly. The other problem I have, which is too much information for everybody, is in a car the seatbelt cuts my nipple because my boob, like it, folds over it and so my nipple is just constantly being rubbed by the seatbelt. So I gotta work on that, I gotta figure that one out. So I'm just saying I wouldn't do this stuff. I would love to have a little security.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna tell you something else, tony, something that you're going to learn in old age. That's now. The fat in your butt goes away.
Speaker 2:Well, that's actually probably good. No, it's not good, oh, it's bad.
Speaker 1:So that means, if you're sitting on a wood bench for an extended period of time. Your bone is there and like with me, it can like work up in me and like my legs can like die, literally like die.
Speaker 2:If.
Speaker 1:I sit too long on something that's hard and wood. So you don't have to look forward to.
Speaker 2:Well damn it, we don't sit on hard things.
Speaker 1:Get it. No, it's dirty. What does that mean? I don't like sitting on foot. It was like it was just a dirty joke.
Speaker 2:It was a dirty joke.
Speaker 1:I'm a dirty joke machine. I'm just a joke machine. You can't make fart jokes, but I can make hard wood jokes. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Listen, they're funny.
Speaker 1:So Jonathan earlier told everybody that hold on a second Wait a second Back to train up what's going on. If that was their first game, how is he already in a relationship with her? Shit? He tells people that she's a lesbian. The new guy comes in and he's like oh no, she's a lesbian.
Speaker 2:You can't get with her. You're absolutely right, dan. It can't be their first game, but it feels like their first game. Why is the announcer telling us the rules? Why would he do?
Speaker 1:that midseason. Maybe this is his second season with the team.
Speaker 2:I don't know, man, it's not clear and I don't like it. All right.
Speaker 1:But you're absolutely right.
Speaker 2:No, no man, it's not clear and I don't like it, All right, but you're absolutely right?
Speaker 1:No, you're right, because it sounds like they have history. You're right? Well, no, they've had sex before. Because she's like can we just once have sex in a bed? In a bed? No, we must do it here, because I'm an idiot. No, we cannot do this. I don't understand. I don't understand.
Speaker 2:I don't understand anything.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, Because she's embarrassed by her scar, which we talk about. It's just dumb, and then he talks with her about how they cut the cord on the strap on the helmet, and then she's like, didn't you see? Every camera was on him?
Speaker 2:And he's like, oh my God, they filmed that intentionally she shows him all of the camera angles Because she has access to all the footage. She has access, but how? I understand. She has a connection, she has this guy, but I mean literally.
Speaker 2:Oh, Sergei is the guy on the inside Guy on the inside, but what is he sending her? That's what I don't understand. She has some sort of multi-view with five different feeds going at the same time. I don't know what that is. I don't know what she's looking at. Sergei gave that to her. I just don't understand what he gave her.
Speaker 1:So they're like okay, she's like well, let's go see Sergei. For what reason, I don't know, since he's already given all the evidence, so they're going to go there, they drive there, and then the miners are revolting and so they have to get out of the car, and then the miners destroy the most expensive, beautiful car and it's very sad.
Speaker 2:It's the most emotion Chris Klein shows in the whole movie my car. Why are they revolting?
Speaker 1:Oh, because of bad, because you know this is part of the whole. You know, rich versus poor, and the idea of this movie is supposed to be that.
Speaker 2:I understand what it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1:He's the hero of the miners, and then when he finally gets them to rise up, you know, then the corporate bosses are in trouble but it doesn't.
Speaker 2:It doesn't make sense in this movie. I assume it makes a lot of sense in the original, which I haven't seen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this one doesn't make any sense, but because we don't, because we don't know if this is his first game, his arousal, game. We don't know any of these things we do not know hit the power of his influence because we don't know what's happening.
Speaker 2:I have no idea what's happening. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I I got nothing so they go to try to find sergey. There's a weird guy there which I think chris klein kills that guy too. Yeah, just straight up murders him, yep murders another guy and then she's all like we gotta get out of here. It might be police. And then they go to the airport because everyone's leaving. They're putting all the other supercars onto a plane and then they're also getting on a plane and they're almost too late.
Speaker 2:Yeah, big drama.
Speaker 1:And then he explains to LL that they're screwing with the game. They get to the new country outcome the cars and where they explained cars are part of the show. Oh, that was the other thing he said. That was his car that got destroyed. Then somebody is like that's not your car.
Speaker 2:Rebecca, Rebecca is like no, it's owned by the lead, the team owner guy.
Speaker 1:So he doesn't know if he owns his own car.
Speaker 2:If so, he doesn't know if he owns his own car. If he doesn't know, I sure as shit don't know If it's his first day.
Speaker 1:If this is his first game, then it makes sense. Maybe he doesn't know, sure, but if it's not his first game, then it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2:And we should see more of him getting preferential treatment, because that's part of it. There's a moment at some point in the movie where him and one of the other team members are like talking and Chris Klein says something to the effect of what we're getting paid, it's just, it's just what we do, and the guy says you're getting paid ten times as much as I am. Yeah, movie where there should be a discrepancy on the team, where chris klein's character has to like realize oh shit, I'm being, I'm being treated differently than the rest of these people. We should all be treated equal. Let's rise up, right, that's. That's a track that I could follow.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is we don't do that and no, we don't in. In the original Rollerball, jonathan had a wife, but one of the bigwigs at the corporation wanted his wife, and so he had to give up his wife.
Speaker 2:What? Yeah, that's intense. Wow, I'm going to have to watch this movie. I almost did. And then I did something else, which we'll talk about later.
Speaker 1:And you're right. He lives in this elevated status, but he doesn't live in the elevated he's somewhere in the middle. Yeah, he's in the upper, but there's always that other level.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it was interesting. One of these people I watched that was talking to me was all like why don't they ever show him dealing with the super poor and blah, blah, blah, blah and it's like it's all implied, right? Yes we know that he's existing at this level.
Speaker 2:We you know, just like in this movie.
Speaker 1:We understand that the minors are the bottom and then you know the good play. The normal players are here and then he's up here.
Speaker 2:We know that, but we don't talk about it, we don't. We don't do anything about it.
Speaker 1:You don't have to talk about it. You just have to say how that's going to affect things at a certain point right.
Speaker 2:It has to have an impact as opposed to just being like oh, by the way, this is the hierarchy.
Speaker 1:Nobody cares nobody cares, doesn't mean anything. We're gonna. You've set up a hierarchy.
Speaker 2:You have to use it for something in fact, we do the opposite in this movie, when we're escaping and the team puts together a bunch of money. We'll talk about that later. But it's this movie, man. It doesn't make a lick of sense.
Speaker 1:So screw with the game new country cars, and then you go to the new arena and then we get white zombie or drop zombie playing a song which ends with this fractional video appearance of pink going like this that was pink.
Speaker 2:That was pink like the pop star.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was like a little little three second video clip of her. You're just like oh mtv now we're gonna get a pink song and you're like, nope, nope, we're not that's so weird.
Speaker 2:I wonder how much they had to pay for that, just to have the cloud of being like well pink's in our movie.
Speaker 1:And then at this next game, it's the same thing again. Petrovich yells at, a guy pulls a gun. They sabotage the glass in this game. And then the crowd eats the newest guy, rabbit alive.
Speaker 2:Which is confusing to me. So, first of all, people are dead right Because that guy went through the glass and landed on a bunch of people.
Speaker 1:And they ate him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were and yeah, so I don't get that, what don't you?
Speaker 1:get.
Speaker 2:Why did they mob him and basically attack him?
Speaker 1:Because he is from the other team?
Speaker 2:Oh, because, we're at an away game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, visiting team. Okay, and he was the new new guy on the setup that. He was the new guy in the last sort of setup, so you can have the crowd eat him.
Speaker 2:He's cannon fodder. Yes, he's cannon fodder. It's a weird moment that they're just tearing him to pieces, because it makes more sense to me in the original storyline, where this is the only release of that sort of feeling we have. That's not set up in this movie at all. This is just a sport that happens Yep, straight up, end of story, world at all. This is just a sport that happens yep, straight up, end of story, worldwide. It's just a sport. So them attacking him is very weird to me. And the stadiums aren't that large. Right also that, yeah not very large?
Speaker 2:not, we're not making that much money. That's why he's only getting a hundred thousand. Yeah, we don't have a lot of money.
Speaker 1:So you're wrong, Tony we do have four games. We have four games, Are you sure? Because now we go to Mongolia, because at the Mongolia game we have Slipknot playing.
Speaker 2:That's true. I have a guitar that Slipknot signed, do you? Yeah, right back there, slipknot signed it. You want me to grab it? I can grab it. No, I really don't care. Okay, that's fine, but I have a signed Slipknot guitar. Why do you have that? They performed. We used to do a thing called Yahoo Music and they were one of the bands that performed, so they signed all of their instruments and gave them to the crew also they gave you like a Slipknot guy handed you his actual guitar.
Speaker 1:So it's a real guitar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a real guitar oh, it's not like a toy guitar. No, it's not a toy guitar, it's like a real guitar that they use for one performance on Yahoo Music you must get paid a lot of money.
Speaker 1:Do they get paid $100,000?
Speaker 2:I think they probably get paid $400. A lot of people do a lot of stuff for 400 did you guys lose money?
Speaker 1:yeah, we lose money because we gave, we keep, we are instruments. Why did we do? All the instruments I don't know the people love it okay, now was the guy with the hair that gave you the guitar no, I honestly don't remember it that well, which is unfortunate, you know.
Speaker 2:But I'm not. No, no offense, I'm not a huge slipknot fan, uh. But I was like, yeah, cool, I mean, I'll take it, that's fine. I'm also getting paid for the day, but that's fine, guitar, sure, whatever. It's just a job guy, I'm not I'm not a fan I'm just here.
Speaker 1:this guy thought he was making your life by giving you this guitar.
Speaker 2:He was like yeah, Joke's on you, you idiot. I'm just here for a paycheck.
Speaker 1:I'd probably give it to my nephew. He's seven.
Speaker 2:If he knew who Slipknot was, maybe I would. He'd probably think it was cool as shit.
Speaker 1:Is it in a case?
Speaker 2:Nope, I care very little. It's literally like thrown in the back corner, just with a bunch of gear.
Speaker 1:It's probably worth some money, Tony.
Speaker 2:It might be, I don't know. I don't sell things. You know what I mean, tony.
Speaker 1:Okay, game is boring. And so they call out the big oh, this is the one with the. It's the guy in the armor and they call him out. And then the big oh, this is the one where it's the guy in the armor and they call him out. And then the big guy hammers Aurora and then cuts her fuel line and they try to blow her up. Oh, that's right.
Speaker 1:But Marcus sees the gas and he pulls her off the bike and he crashes, and then Marcus gets hurt and then. So this is the catalyst for their like.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is too dangerous, this is no good, which is really funny to me, because other people on their team are getting hurt and killed and they don't care, no, but the second that LL Cool J accidentally puts himself in harm's way they decide. You know what? It's too much, it's too close to home. We gotta get out of here we gotta leave.
Speaker 2:It's ridiculous, me and jonathan, which I don't think they've done anything to jonathan right no, well, they can't because he's the star, he's the guy, they need him and ll says that line he says something to chris on the lines of they need us, so they're not gonna do anything to us, so just sit back and enjoy the money. He basically says that and then the next game he puts himself in harm's way to save the girl and then is upset that they targeted him yeah, and he's like I got a wife and kid. That's why which you always had, by theL Cool J. They didn't just pop out now, so stop being an idiot.
Speaker 1:So at the hospital he's like I'm okay, I feel fine, and he's like somebody says you said this, oh no. So then Chris Klein's character, jonathan, goes to complain to the boss and he's all like, bro, you said this would stop. And he's all like and I made you rich, which is not true.
Speaker 2:As far as I can tell, it's inaccurate.
Speaker 1:He didn't give me a car. We don't ever see him with any money or fancy clothes or cool shoes.
Speaker 2:In fact, his teammates in this scene we'll talk about it right now pooled together their own money to help Chris and LL Cool J escape, because they couldn't get into LL Cool J's apartment to get his bag of money, which is weird to begin with, people watching.
Speaker 1:What about does?
Speaker 2:Chris Klein have a bag of money I don't know. As far as I can tell, Chris Klein has yet to be paid for this sport. I'm very confused by it.
Speaker 1:So this weird panel truck shows up In. They come with the flowers. It's Dan and Aurora wearing secret disguises. She's wearing a thing where you can only see her beautiful eyes Whenever she walks by somebody that she knows, she looks at them as intently and largely as possible.
Speaker 2:Those are familiar. I recognize those eyes.
Speaker 1:I know those eyes, so they sneak in this whole big thing and you're like oh, we're going to do the old trick-a-roo where we come in with the cart, then we leave with the cart. You know laundry cart.
Speaker 2:And now they're on the cart.
Speaker 1:So why did they go with the laundry cart?
Speaker 2:Bigger. I don't know, did they say, was there a line? No, there was no line.
Speaker 1:Okay, if you're paying attention, you'd see why they brought the cart in.
Speaker 2:I'm not paying attention.
Speaker 1:So they could sneak in some boots for LL Cool J.
Speaker 2:No, the guy needs boots. What do you mean?
Speaker 1:I mean, right now he's wearing tennis shoes day and he can't escape in those, yep, they gotta give him boots so that he can. They can just climb out the window and easily escape. Uh, they flee on motorcycle. Um, then they're on a dirt road and then they don't know how to read odometers. Well, no, it's a joke.
Speaker 2:It's a really funny joke, Dan. Oh, was it a joke? I thought they couldn't read it.
Speaker 2:No, it's a really good joke. Let me explain it to you, because you obviously don't understand this top-tier joke. Chris Klein is worried that they're driving too fast because he's an adrenaline junkie. But he doesn't want to drive too fast on a motorcycle, yes. So he says hey ll cool, j, how fast are you going? It looks like you're going 120 miles per hour. And it's just like no, bro, that's in clicks. We're in a different country, don't worry about it, I'm not going that fast. And then, and then chris klein looks at it and says nope, that's miles per hour, we're going 120. It's a great joke, it's a really good joke. He didn't get it well.
Speaker 2:And then his character's like that's too fast it's too dangerous, that's he becomes a huge whiner. Yeah, yep, just like Dan. Why is this scene shot in night?
Speaker 1:vision. That was my joke I was going to make. I was like I don't understand. Why would you? It's like a whole 10, 12 minute segment of the movie.
Speaker 2:At least it's a huge chunk of this movie that is just shot in green night vision For no reason. No one is wearing night vision, nope, other than the camera. Yeah, I thought maybe in your research you turned something up on what the point of this is Nope.
Speaker 1:They wanted to shoot it all for a dollar, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Maybe they ran out of money, I don't know.
Speaker 1:They were like we're out of money, let's just shoot this scene on the iPhone. Okay, and it's a big scene.
Speaker 2:It's a lot of the movie. It's very weird. I love it, by the way.
Speaker 1:So they're chased by Jeeps that falls down a thing. Then they're chased by an airplane. Yeah, so they're a big airplane. How much do you think? I don't even know how much an airplane that big costs. It's got to be millions of dollars, right, I would assume. Yeah, so they literally land an airplane and chase them around the desert with this airplane and then eventually are able to relaunch that airplane out in this thing somehow. It's a good airplane. And then this is so bad. So our guys are trying to escape across the border. And you know your classic if we get across the border, nothing can stop us, we're fine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which I don't. You think these people are worried about jurisdiction, like what's going on here.
Speaker 1:Do you think they can't just call somebody in the next, the next, the gangsters Not only.
Speaker 2:I know that they can't, because they say at the end of this scene don't worry about the border patrol, tip them more so they don't say anything, or something like that. So they already have border patrol in their pocket. So it wouldn't have mattered even if they made it to the border, as far as I can tell.
Speaker 1:So why did they kill? So they're trying to get across this bridge. They put up the bridge and then they shoot the motorcycle first and they crash. But it didn't actually shoot the motorcycle. So LL Cool J could get back on the motorcycle. He's going to go for it and Chris Klein's like just leave me behind, even though he's completely uninjured.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's totally fine.
Speaker 1:And he makes the jump and then they shoot LL Cool J and then they kill him.
Speaker 2:I guess I assumed he was going to come back. Oh, really, jay. And then they kill him. I guess I assumed he was going to come back. Oh, because this was a pretty unceremonious death to me. Like it's far away, they shoot another rocket thing and then it just the bike falls over. The border patrol doesn't even react. There was an explosion 20 feet from the border, sure, and you're they just. They just kind of look at it like what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's just a tuesday night because they're on the phone with the. With look at it and they're like, well, what are you going to do Just a Tuesday night Because they're on the phone with them.
Speaker 2:I guess, but they're not, because we do cut back to them, dan. And they're not on the phone, but I thought for sure he wasn't really dead. And he was going to come back and make an impact at the end of the movie.
Speaker 1:And I was sorely mistaken.
Speaker 2:No, I knew he was dead. Was it because of Chris Klein's really good acting in this scene that you know this death is real?
Speaker 1:I think LL Cool J was just sick of this movie and he's just like man I got to peace out One day.
Speaker 2:he just walked off set and never came back.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, petrovich, they take him back there, petrovich, he's got like a couple little tiny cuts on him, Petrovich.
Speaker 2:From gravel probably.
Speaker 1:Okay, I give you all the money in the world, which is $100,000 US Right $100,000. Usd.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, what a treat.
Speaker 1:Wait, does he say to go fuck yourself? Yeah, okay, this is.
Speaker 2:Wait, does he say, to go fuck yourself. Yeah, okay, so we got to talk about this. Oh, this is on the plane.
Speaker 1:We're on the plane. He's like I'll give you $100,000. Then they start opening the big door of the plane while it's flying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, to drop him out, right. Yeah, throw him out Because he's mad at him now. Yeah, so this conversation Is this. Oh no, it comes later. You're right, we'll save it.
Speaker 1:They're going to throw him out the back and then they don't.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I think someone Pulls him off of him Again. It's like this guy's move is just to like Get really angry.
Speaker 1:But doesn't really mean it.
Speaker 2:And it doesn't really do anything. I think he's all bark no bite. You know what?
Speaker 1:I mean Sure.
Speaker 2:I don't know, because he never does any of the killing. Oh, no, no.
Speaker 1:Naveen goes over there and says to him have you thought about the girl? We can get the girl. We know you love the girl.
Speaker 2:Right, girl, we know you love the girl. That's the turn.
Speaker 1:Sorry about that.
Speaker 2:Real quickly. We got to talk about the chase scene again for just one second. They drive through a barbed wire fence, Do they? Okay? Do you remember this? They drive through a barbed wire fence. I only remember this because I had subtitles on. They drive through a barbed wire fence and there's a sound effect.
Speaker 1:Did the subtitles say sound of driving through barbed wire fence? Wait, there's a sound effect. The subtitles say sound of driving through barbed wire fence.
Speaker 2:No, the exact quote is it's the parentheses because it's a sound effect and it says wire twang. That's the name of the sound.
Speaker 1:That's exactly the sound it makes.
Speaker 2:It's a bing as they drive through a fence. It is wild. There's a couple of really weird sound effects in this movie.
Speaker 1:There's like a that's not a weird sound effect, that's the noise it would make man.
Speaker 2:I need you to go back and watch it. Maybe I'll cut it into this episode right now. Okay, it's ridiculous. It's like it's not what it would sound like. It's not even close. It's like someone has just one of those old keyboards that has sound effects on it uh, it was, it was nuts, it was wild. I'm sorry, I just wrote it down.
Speaker 1:The the wire twang in quotes and I just wanted to bring it up so jonathan I guess it's the next day he's like I'm gonna go in there and I'm going to make more demands. I want ownership.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is the conversation I want to talk about, because this is what he says. Chris goes you can keep your 100K, I want ownership, right? So he's not keeping the 100k. That's a weird way to preface that. Normally it would be like keep the 100k, I just want to make sure my wife is safe or my girlfriend is safe. That sentence makes sense. But saying keep your 100k and give me 8 million, that doesn't make any sense. But but yeah, he wants ownership rights, he wants him to get rid of Aurora, but not kill her, but not kill her.
Speaker 2:He's wanted something else too, like something about the venue, I don't know. Oh yeah, something stupid, yeah, something very stupid. I just thought it was really funny, because he's like keep your 100K but give me all this other money that I want instead.
Speaker 1:So his big plan is he's going to trade Aurora to the Horde who they play tonight. Thank God.
Speaker 2:We're almost through it.
Speaker 1:The team is pissed. This is the final. Aurora sees the Aurora's in the locker room. On the other side she sees the special sharp weapon that they're going to use against him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, does it go on a helmet?
Speaker 1:No, it's a scoop that you pick up the ball with, but we haven't seen anyone use a scoop In the movie, have we?
Speaker 2:No, of course not. Of course not.
Speaker 1:Why would you? I'm going to tell you something about the original rollerball and why it was so good, please Okay. They wore leather gloves and then on the leather gloves, right up here, there was metal spikes. Oh shit, yeah, that's very dangerous. And back then nobody had knowledge or access about weapons like that. Sure, when we were kids and we heard about shuriken, japanese throwing stars, we were just like, oh my God, that's the most incredible thing that ever existed, ever existed you know.
Speaker 1:I mean now we have access to all sorts of stuff. Kids know about all sorts of crazy shit because they, you know they probably have all that shit in Fortnite. And you know kids probably know every gun that's ever created and every mine and bomb. You know they get that. But back then you put some spiky things on a glove, you know you talk about brass knuckles. We're like brass knuckles oh my God, what does that mean? What an innocent time, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, it was different.
Speaker 1:And you know, you have the poster. The poster, I think, is Jonathan with his fist up.
Speaker 2:It is, I just didn't understand what it was. But yeah, that is what it is and they're punching people with that.
Speaker 1:You're with that. You're like oh yeah, that means something. You know this? Yeah, scoop, that has a sharp blade. You're like this is not a lacrosse stick or a field hockey stick, but we haven't seen.
Speaker 2:My problem is we haven't seen anyone else use it. Yeah, so how is it, even within the rules, for them to use this at all?
Speaker 1:well, we also said it now that you're now your favorite guy in the movie the broadcaster is like the rule change there's no rules, no rules, there's no fouls, there's no penalties.
Speaker 2:What rules?
Speaker 1:Have we seen rules In the original rollerball? They penalize people. One person got put in the box in the first game, in the first match a woman got put in the box for fighting because a guy sexually harassed her.
Speaker 2:That was a weird comment that we never talked about. He like grabs her butt on the on the rink, which has got to be against the rules. She turns around, starts beating them and then they they penalize her. Very weird, very weird moment.
Speaker 1:That's how it always works, you get fouled, and then they call the foul on you well, sure, usually it's not sexual harassment, but yeah so okay, there we are boom, boom, boom, no fouls, no penalties, and then they're like, let's play the game. And then we kind of find out that all the minors are in the in the stands in the audience. Okay, we're to mobilize them at some point. They tie up Aurora up in the thing.
Speaker 2:Which is super weird, right?
Speaker 1:She never gets released, she never plays any part in the finale, the number three star is tied up and useless. Well, she goes and gets him.
Speaker 2:Oh does she. Oh, she says something, she goes and gets him, and then she walks him out as they're chanting his name at the very end of the movie.
Speaker 1:Oh, but she doesn't know, she doesn't do anything, doesn't do anything um, and then jonathan figures out that if he just watches where the cameras are, he knows where the attack is coming from yeah and then the attack comes and and they beat the shit out. Then there's just all this fighting. It's just boom, boom, boom and it's the worst fighting in any movie we've ever seen. It's bad fighting, it's not cool fighting Nothing cool Because it's just kind of happening.
Speaker 2:What's interesting, not interesting. What's stupid is at one point he gets hit from behind.
Speaker 1:That's stupid.
Speaker 2:He gets hit from behind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's when they realize he's finally wearing his spine protection or whatever.
Speaker 2:And one of the T-Mens goes holy shit, he's wearing the spine protection, but it doesn't. That's it. And then it never comes back. It doesn't do anything else. It was just that one time. Why what is going on? He knew shit was going to go down. He knew shit was going to go down. He knew shit was going to go down. And then, at one point, naveen says maybe we should stop this. It's getting out of hand. Is it getting out of hand? This is exactly what they wanted, wasn't this the?
Speaker 1:plan. Then at a certain point they cut the feed and they turn off the feed. Yeah, what they don't stop anything.
Speaker 2:Point, they cut the feed and they turn off the feed. Yeah what? They don't stop anything.
Speaker 1:No, they don't stop anything. But why would you, of all the things to do, why would you cut the feed?
Speaker 2:I don't know, because this was the plan. This is what we wanted. We want to kill Jonathan. It's actually going perfectly to plan. So I don't understand why people are like we got to stop this. This is not. I don't know. This is so weird.
Speaker 1:They mobilize the miners. Then he gets shot. Then they begin to chant Jonathan.
Speaker 2:Why did they shoot him? Because he was uh, he was rousing up the minors because he used to be a minor, like he got in on the glass and was like they're killing him, we gotta stop them. And then they just shoot him because how is? That not going to incite the minors more. That's the worst thing you could possibly do in that situation yeah, but that's what happens in all like prison movies.
Speaker 1:You know, the guards are too cruel and then they realize at a certain point that they've been too cruel in front of people long enough. And then the one person like looks at them, and then the indian throws the sink through the thing and everyone can escape sure, yeah, that was very specific.
Speaker 2:What movie is that cuckoo's nest? Okay, there you go. It's like this is definitely something that really happened because you just named things pretty accurately.
Speaker 1:It's a little cuckoo's nest there, Tony.
Speaker 2:A little cuckoo's nest. Here's my big overarching problem with the movie.
Speaker 1:Everyone is there voluntarily.
Speaker 2:No, they can't get away. From who? What do you mean they can't get away Other than the one escape attempt by LL Cool J and our main guy? There's no imprisonment. They're living very lavish lifestyles. We don't delve into the fact that they are somehow being forced to be there. Yeah, that is true, and that's kind of the crux of the finale, when people are rising up against them. We need it, we need it for this movie to make sense and we just we gloss over it.
Speaker 1:The problem is we shouldn't have that whole scene where they tried to escape. We should have. You need to. You need to entrap your people so that they have to stay within the confines until they're pushed too far. Yeah, if your people, so that they have to stay within the confines until they're pushed too far. If your people can just literally go and get on a motorcycle, well, at a certain point they're going to sneak out and get on a motorcycle and get away. The situation of a battered wife or something like that is it's 99% psychological. It's 99% psychological, it's 1%. I'm in control of the money, but the 99% is the belittling, the control. You know all the controlling behaviors that make it so that those people don't escape.
Speaker 2:We never feel that. We never feel like they're trapped. I need to feel like Chris Klein got himself in over his head and he's trapped and he's trying to figure out what to do.
Speaker 1:And that the bad guys really have all the control yeah, you know, don't seem to.
Speaker 2:I mean, I know he, you know, gene, what's his name? Gene jean jean reno. Jean reno, he gives that really wonderful speech about how he, like, owns the people that own things, or something I, I own the men that own the minds Right yeah. Like I don't have to own the mind because I own the men that own the minds. That's great. I don't know what that means really, and there's no, there's. There's no demonstration of it in the movie. Yeah, he needs to do some shit in this movie for me to feel it.
Speaker 1:You know, in in real movies what you do is you have those inflection points and it's generally a fair, not inflection points but you have those things where it's like you hand him a picture of his sister, you're like there's a picture of his sister, I was listening to this podcast this morning about the FBI. It's fucking crazy. In 1970, in 1971, they discovered these people stole a bunch of documents from the fbi and they found out just how many people the fbi were surveilling, right.
Speaker 1:So they started giving this to this, this reporter, and then she started reporting on it and it fucking blew up. Everything blew up j, ed of course it was insane but at a certain point she like, picked up her phone to make a call and there was a guy on the other end of her phone. This is in the 70s, right yeah where your phone you just picked up. You don't know what, yeah, and he's like who are you trying to call?
Speaker 2:why are you trying to call them? What do you talk?
Speaker 1:How are you on my phone right now? He's just like you know that's intimidation, where you're like I don't have control of my life. And oh, that was the other thing the dudes. This other guy came up to her and said you've been getting this stuff in the mail. You've also been getting mail from your mom who lives in dot dot, dot, dot, dot dot. You know he's like. He didn't say we're going to go kill your mom, what?
Speaker 2:he said, was but the implication.
Speaker 1:I know exactly where your mom lives. We know exactly where your mom lives period. So think about that Just think about that before you do anything. Think about how you want to. You know, and that's what you have to. This guy has to have that power. He just has some guys in a car that are going to shoot you with missiles, with some sort of weird missile.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:If you kill me, I'm gone. That's not. Here's the question, Dan.
Speaker 2:Why didn't LL Cool J zig and zag on the motorcycle?
Speaker 1:Why is he driving in?
Speaker 2:a straight line after he just got shot with a rocket. You think they're done shooting.
Speaker 1:They just got shot with a rocket. More importantly, done shooting they just they just got shot with a rocket. Why isn't there any effect from being shot by a rocket? Jonathan, you go on without me, but there's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing wrong with the motorcycle maybe they can't make the jump with him on there, I don't know?
Speaker 2:well, that's what they said. They're not going to make it with two people, but I don't know. Still it's, it's V-Dump, v-dump.
Speaker 1:So he jumps over the glass, he kills Petrovich, then he goes down and Naveen's like oh, now I'm in charge. And then he kills Naveen.
Speaker 2:I didn't understand that part of it. You want me to explain it to you. I can explain it to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, please explain it to me what's supposed to happen is Devine's like okay, bro, how about I make you an owner? And he's like okay, and then he becomes an owner and they live happily ever after. That was one of the. They shot that. And then they're like no, it's got to be more dystopian. Jonathan has to lead the rebellion of the miners against the plutocrats the rebellion of the miners against the plutocrats.
Speaker 2:You're like really too bad, because I actually like that ending better, where he's like or we can keep going and you can just have even more money, and he's like, all right, fuck it, let's, let's do it.
Speaker 1:I'm morally gray, let's do that I mean, if you just set up a real character he could have, he could have had to deal with that and he might make that choice, and that's a choice that a lot of people make every day.
Speaker 2:Amen to that.
Speaker 1:Oh, this movie man. And now he's God. He's now God Because he started the revolution.
Speaker 2:Now he starts the revolution.
Speaker 1:And then the movie just ends right, no rob zombie song. Okay, sure, sure that I'm sure. If you read the lyrics of that, you'd know exactly what was happening, exactly what happens in the movie from here on out pretty much because he can't go back home.
Speaker 2:Right, he's wanted for murder possibly.
Speaker 1:It's almost like a thing that someone could have said at some point.
Speaker 2:I don't know. And what are the miners going to do? They're going to overthrow these rich people, but someone sells to do the. How are they going to make money?
Speaker 1:I don't know. There's a movie called Lawrence of Arabia. I know you've never seen it because it's one of the greatest movies ever made. It's from the 1300s.
Speaker 2:I can't.
Speaker 1:And he leads the tribal people across the desert and then they take over the I think they take over Aqaba and then, like, the next scene is the nightmare of them being in control of the power. Oh, interesting, that's really interesting they show you what a fucking nightmare that is, because they're trying to get the phones running and they're trying to figure out money and they're trying to put a provisional government in charge and they're all feuding and it's like you gotta sort of.
Speaker 1:You know you have to sort of what. What does this mean that he's in charge of the revolution?
Speaker 2:What this guy? I have no idea. I got nothing. I don't think it's going to go very well.
Speaker 1:Let me just say that Lots of people are going to die. That's why it's better to have him sell out and you're like everybody sells out. In the end or they die. Amen to that, I'll sell out right now, but at the end of the real rollerball you know he lives and he is more powerful and you're like the corporations are going to have to figure something. The fuck out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which makes sense. Yeah, Alright, yeah, I'd like to watch it. I'd like to watch it.
Speaker 1:You should watch it, it's interesting.
Speaker 2:Last thing I want to say Rollerball, the end of this movie. Yeah, he asks Rebecca Romijn what she's going to do or something, what are you going to do now? And she gets to say the line I thought I might take you home to my bed, a great callback to him wanting to have sex in a bed instead of whatever. They're having sex on A sauna. I don't remember exactly what they're doing. They're at the gym, I don't know. And then we get a wonderful freeze frame on Chris Klein's smile and I was just thinking to myself we don't do the freeze frame anymore and I kind of miss it. You know, you know the end of what's that school movie where he's like thanks frame on the fist bump.
Speaker 2:Uh, judd, uh, judd, nelson yeah, yeah, yeah, great stuff, breakfast great stuff, but I just miss it don't you forget about me, don't yeah? Yeah, breakfast club. Geez, I'm getting so old, I can't, I can't remember things. Does it get worse? Like, I have a problem pulling things. I can think around them, but I have a hard time pulling things.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's what you have to do. It's like 17 Shades of Kevin Bacon. You're like, you know the guy that was in the movie that started the thing. That was about the dog who had three heads and you're like what's his name? And then three hours later you just be like Kevin Kline.
Speaker 2:You're like oh, it's Kevin Kline, I've got it. Oh boy, I'm in for a rough road, you know.
Speaker 1:Shannon was like we got that fly in here now and I'm like fly, what are you talking about? Fly? And she's like I told you about the fly like an hour ago and what she said was, there was a fly on the rice.
Speaker 1:There's a fly in here while she was closing up the rice and I was like, oh my God, there's a fly walking on the rice Right. So in my mind I was just thinking about this one fly walking on there. The truth of the matter she's just saying there's a fly flying around in here.
Speaker 2:There's a fly in the house.
Speaker 1:She's protecting the rice, and so in my mind I just conjured this image of this fly walking on rice.
Speaker 2:You did your own thing in here. I'm filling in some blanks.
Speaker 1:I thought the problem was that a fly had touched rice, the true problem is there's a fly flying around in here and it's going to be an asshole.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they do that. They do that from time to time. This movie sucked. Yeah, this movie's bad man. I had a good time.
Speaker 1:I watched the beginning and I'm like, oh, I remember all this, I've seen this movie. And then at a certain point I'm like, yeah, I turned it off. I must have, because this is not familiar at all. I did not see the night vision chase or the ending or any of that stuff.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it's so bizarre.
Speaker 1:The night vision chase is just like that is a decision that someone makes and someone really needed to tell them that that's a terrible idea.
Speaker 2:It's great. It's a terrible idea. It's great, it's a great movie. Don't watch it. This is one of those ones that I don't recommend you watch.
Speaker 1:No, this one's not a lot here to unpack or to deal with. Now we talk about something we like. This week we were watching a lot of Olympics. Breakdancing is on today. It's pretty great. Did it start yesterday or does it start today? The girls was yesterday and the girls were fun.
Speaker 1:The guys are today and I it's probably just about ending. But the sad thing is there was this one australian girl who was not great and now everybody's like dragging her on the internet. Like look at this kid, she's not the greatest thing ever you know, says the incel sitting in there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you're just like Stupid pieces of shit. She's in the Olympics, fucking idiots.
Speaker 1:You know, if the best you know, and that's the whole thing In the olden days, right, you had the Jamaican bobsled team and we were all like go Jamaican bobsled team. They were terrible. Ter Jamaican bobsled team. They were terrible as I remember it. They didn't stand a chance in hell of getting a medal, but you're like, well, good for them putting it together and getting there and living their dream. And you're like she's living her dream, but everyone's like good enough.
Speaker 2:You're so bad at everything. Yeah, we're the worst. The society is awful.
Speaker 1:We are terrible, terrible. You need to spend your time tearing down somebody you know it's like she was not great because that's how they, the only way they, feel better about themselves, because their life is awful. I you know I pretty much think that's the case. So, uh, but lots of it.
Speaker 2:We're watching the rhythmic gymnastics, which was great yeah, a lot of good, a lot of fun stuff.
Speaker 1:You know, you get sucked in. You're like oh, it's 5,000-meter men's, and 15 minutes later you're like that was the most exciting race I've ever seen in my life. That's what the Olympics does to you. And then you're like when it's over, you're like I will never watch any of these sports again for four years.
Speaker 2:But the next time you do, they're going to be here.
Speaker 1:LA, Tom Cruise is going to be in church. Oh yeah, Shannon thinks that the reason why Tom Cruise is at every Olympic thing is that he's going to be like the guy that announces, you know?
Speaker 2:Well, you know Tom's going to be involved. Snoop will be involved, for sure. You know Flavor Flav will be involved in some capacity.
Speaker 1:Flavor Flav sponsored the girls water polo team.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. It's awesome. That's the greatest thing ever. Also watched water polo for the first time maybe in my life, and I don't understand it. I don't understand the rules at all. They're just whipping balls at each other. It seems crazy, Water polo.
Speaker 1:I love water polo. I don't think we saw any water polo. I love it. I usually watch it. Yeah, it's fun. It's great. We watch the women's. I like all the women's sports better than the men's sports typically.
Speaker 2:Sure Did we. I think women's just won soccer. Yeah, I think they just won think they just won. Uh, yeah, they were up one zero and yeah, I think that's how it ended.
Speaker 1:I think I got an update on my phone, I think it was. They were at. They were in stoppage time, 10 minutes it was.
Speaker 2:They were at eight and a half minutes, so all they had to do is hold on for another 90 seconds, and then they well, I think they did, I think they got that big gold.
Speaker 1:Well, good, good, good good what do you got for us, tony? It's gonna going to be something stupid.
Speaker 2:It is going to be something stupid, dan, also watching the Olympics, also having a great time. But you may or may not remember this, but a little indie film called Rebel Moon dropped the director's cut, so I spent seven hours this week watching the director's cuts of those movies. Oh, you watched both of them. I sure did, dan.
Speaker 1:I was going to do a whole joke where I was gonna say that we're gonna watch those for the move thing next time.
Speaker 2:So it's not worth it. No, it's gonna be a joke.
Speaker 1:I'm just gonna tell you that right now it's gonna be a joke and then I was gonna be like, no, I'm not watching those movies.
Speaker 2:Well, I did. It took one for the team and here's what I'm going to say.
Speaker 2:Okay, give us the review, tony. Does it make it a cooler movie? Yes, okay, does it make it a better movie? Not even a little bit. All of the problems are still there, dan Sure, of course, all of the script is awful. The story's stupid. Some of the acting is terrible. You can't fix that with just with just adding more. Now there's just more shitty dialogue and more backstory. I don't give a shit about, but I will say adding back the r rating. The. The fight scenes are way cooler oh, okay, like there's some head explosions.
Speaker 2:There's some like a guy gets a thing right through the thing, like there's some cool shit that happens. Sure, that was sorely lacking in the first one, but it doesn't fix anything, sure, it just makes it more fun to watch a piece of shit movie, that's all. Oh, also, there's boobs now. So, like you know, like, is there sex or is it just some boobs? There is some sex. I think there's two sexes, maybe three. I think there's two. Cora definitely has sex in the beginning of the movie when they're having the harvest Really Okay, and it's gratuitous. Just all her. It's almost uncomfortable. Who is she having sex with Her?
Speaker 1:hunter boyfriend, the farmer dude.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, yeah, the farmer that ends up dying, yeah, okay. And then she has sex with Gunner later, when they're in the second one, when they're having that fire pit meeting Sure, awful, I mean, they're not good. The problem is they're not good sex scenes, right, um, I don't know, I would remove those again. Those are unnecessary, um, and they just distract and make it weird but the violence is great.
Speaker 1:Why would these movies? Why would these?
Speaker 2:movies have sex scenes. Why did I have absolutely no idea? It's super weird. So the harvest becomes the. I can't sindri the leader of the, the farming people, in the beginning. He gives like a really nice speech in the first one about how they, like you know, celebrate the harvest. We did a great job. In this one they add back all this stuff where basically he just wants everyone to have sex. He's screaming fuck for the harvest, fuck for the grain. And I was like what is happening? Why is he screaming go have sex. It's super weird.
Speaker 2:And then they do, and then they do go have sex. It's a completely different movie. Some parts are, but then some parts are exactly the same. No, and it doesn't make it make more sense.
Speaker 1:Like what? He must be angry. There's something going on there, you know. Like you know, I'm a fan of Barbarella. That movie's freaking great and it's a very sexy movie, and you know.
Speaker 2:Very sexy movie.
Speaker 1:And you're like you know Every other scene she'd take, you know Different sex costumes and you know sexy movie, sexy movie. And you're like you know every, every other scene she'd take. You know different sex costumes and you're like great, that's what that movie is. It's based on a based on a comic book. That was like that that's the movie you made, but rebel moon, like there's no reason to have.
Speaker 2:Yep, it's absolutely bonkers. It doesn't make sense as a community. It doesn't make sense in the movie. It's super weird, I don't know. I love it, but again, the action scenes are cooler. It's still way too much slow-mo. There's even more now. Is there more of the robot? There is more of the robot, and it turns out it doesn't help, it's just more of him. Pontificating doesn't help. Uh, it's just more of him pontificating. Yeah, like there's no, there's no more um character development, sure, and there's no, there's no added action, it's just him in a wheat field. A bunch of times like and then I look at the stars and I remember the young girl and I don't care, I just don't care oh dear um yeah, I don't know well there it is this is the point at which we say feel free to like and subscribe and leave a.
Speaker 2:Leave a comment there was a time when you were two or three times. You put it at the top of the show and I I bet it helped. I bet we should. We should look at those numbers of the episodes that you did earlier and see if anybody did it no, the ones we do good, do it you know, like we got some.
Speaker 1:We got a little bit of traction on um. We should look at those numbers of the episodes that you did earlier and see if anybody did it. No, the ones we do, good, they didn't do it. You know, like we got a little bit of traction on John Carter, sure, and we got four likes and only one dislike, which is pretty good. I thought we were going to go 50-50 on that one.
Speaker 2:Sure, I could go dislike it if you want, just to help your ego a little.
Speaker 1:So we need a new movie. I need to pick the movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you get to pick. What do you got I?
Speaker 1:was rooting around. I was like you know.
Speaker 2:Rooting around.
Speaker 1:We got Will Smith with iRobot. Still got to do that one.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, Okay okay.
Speaker 1:I saw that movie at one point, so I need a little more time to forget it even more.
Speaker 2:Okay, sure, sure. I really want to get it out of my mind and start fresh.
Speaker 1:So you know I was thinking, you know I was like you know what's Bradley Cooper's worst movie? There's Limitless.
Speaker 2:But it kind of had some positive reviews and it spun off a wonderful TV show that got canceled after one season. But I just rewatched it recently and I love it. Is the movie good? No, I didn't like the movie very much. I like the show. So the movie is like stupid and all about him being like super smart or whatever. Right, yeah, but the show turns into a cop procedural Sure. So they use the drugs. A new guy gets the drugs, who I love, he's from Greek, anyhow, he gets the drugs and he's super smart and helps the cops like solve crimes. Sure, that's a brilliant way to use that premise.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anyhow, sorry so, you know, I kept looking, you know, looking for some of our, our best people, and then I I was like yeah, what about nicholas?
Speaker 2:cage.
Speaker 1:I mean there's a plethora of movies to choose from for good old Nick and I found one and it's called the Knowing.
Speaker 2:The Knowing yeah, I saw this opening night at midnight as well. I remember it vividly.
Speaker 1:Is this the one like he knows the future or something, and the kids? There's a nuclear war or something's coming. I don't know. You don't have to tell me. I'm trying to think if I saw some of this one or didn't see it, I don't know. But we're going to watch the whole damn thing this time and see what it's all about. I love it. Okay, there it is. He loves it. Tony loves it. Tony loves it everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think who's the lady in it? I feel like I like his wife in it too. Somebody real? Is it Rose Byrne Could be. We'll find out next week, we'll find out. I don't need to know right now. We'll find out next week.
Speaker 1:You'll be knowing soon enough, tony, hey, so.
Speaker 2:All I remember, dan, yeah, is it has something to do with a time capsule? Yeah, I remember that, because it was around the time that we planted our own time capsules for school. Oh, okay, cool, um, and we never dug them back up.
Speaker 1:You're supposed to dig them back up, but we didn't do it no, you probably didn't seal them well enough that moisture probably destroyed them, so it doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2:You don't think I sealed something. I'm a great, I'm a canner. No, you're not making pickles. Are you really making pickles? No, I would do. You want me to make you some pickles? I'll make you some pickles. Do you like spicy pickles or just like dilly?
Speaker 1:I. I've gone through dill pickles cycles in my life and also sweet pickle cycle. I was a big sweet pickle kid okay interesting all right, I'm a dill guy all the way used to have the sweet pickle in the in a bag in the lunch. Yeah, you know, in a plastic bag?
Speaker 2:no, I do not know what you're saying. What do you mean in a bag?
Speaker 1:you put it in like a ziploc bag and then you put it in your lunch. So you have a pickle you're so cute and then I definitely went through a phase where you'd go and they'd have the pickle in the bag in the brine and you'd buy that for a dollar.
Speaker 2:Yes, and State Fair still does nice whole pickles oh.
Speaker 1:God, I hate zucchini more than anything in the world.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, really yeah.
Speaker 1:Isn't that what they?
Speaker 2:make.
Speaker 1:No cucumbers.
Speaker 2:I hate cucumbers, cucumbers and zucchinis Interesting. I love cucumber. Oh okay, big fan, you know it's nice, like a nice slice of cucumber in your water. No, it's disgusting, it's horrible.
Speaker 1:It's like one of those things I always love. These Celery doesn't taste like anything. I'm like. It most definitely tastes like something.
Speaker 2:Do you not like celery? Oh God, no, have you done?
Speaker 1:ants on a log. No, I hate celery. I hate the flavor.
Speaker 2:But have you tried it with peanut butter and raisins? Doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:It has that flavor Like if I have potato salad and I bite into a piece of celery in my potato salad, I lose my mind. I lose my mind.
Speaker 2:I just imagine you flipping a picnic table, getting all mad. Yeah, I like I will pick. I do love a nice potato salad.
Speaker 1:I'll pick through my potato salad to make sure there is no celery in there. Wow.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, that's a good, I'll write that down. So if I ever make potate salad for when we go camping, I'll make sure there's no celery in it. I hate camping. You can't hate camping. There's so many different ways to camp, dan. We can find a way that you like Glamping maybe. Okay, dan, look at me, do I look like a guy that's going to go camping and it's going to be slumming it? That's true. No, no, I'm going to glamp. At the least. You are an ants on the log person. I love ants on the log, you know, it's just a childhood thing.
Speaker 1:How are the ants doing over in your place, Tony?
Speaker 2:They're terrible. They're fucking everywhere. We are living in a nightmare hellscape. I don't even know Where's a lot of bugs. I don't know. Okay, I don't even know Where's a lot of bugs?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I have rollerball. Okay, well, we better end this one, or we could go on forever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll pack it up. Pack it up. What are we watching next week? The Knowing, the Knowing. Thank you, nicolas Cage. I remember Nicolas.
Speaker 1:Cage. We'll see you later. Bye-bye, Bye everybody. Hey, watch it.
Speaker 2:With Dan and Tony. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. It's like watching, yeah.