Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Rollerball
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Ever thought a street luge scene could leave you both laughing and scratching your head? Join us in this episode where we kick off with some light-hearted banter about the art of mid-day naps before diving into Tony's pick for the week—the 2002 remake of "Rollerball." We humorously dissect the film, focusing on Rebecca Romijn's enigmatic scar and the baffling character choices. Along the way, Dan shares some entertaining celebrity sightings, featuring his encounters with Rebecca Romijn and Owen Wilson right in his neighborhood, adding a fun twist to our movie critique.
As we navigate through the chaotic production history of "Rollerball," you'll get a front-row seat to our analysis of the film's jarring deviation from the original’s social commentary to a focus on mindless action and nudity. We also recount amusing run-ins with celebrities like Owen Wilson and Freddie Prinze Jr., emphasizing their unexpected charms. From high-stakes street racing scenes to absurd character decisions, we break down why this remake missed the mark, making for an engaging and thought-provoking discussion.
Finally, we bring nostalgia into play by reminiscing about the original "Rollerball" while humorously critiquing the modern elements in sports movies. We touch on everything from the illogical border chase scenes to a humorous exchange about the extended cut of "Rebel Moon" and even the intrigue surrounding Olympic breakdancing. Prepare for laughs, head-scratching moments, and a good dose of nostalgia as we navigate through a cinematic misstep and appreciate the quirks that come with it.
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We should probably do this, so I don't fall asleep, because I'll fall asleep probably.
Speaker 2You're going to fall asleep. It's midday, right when I start falling asleep.
Speaker 1Right when I fall asleep, it's like my sleep time. It's Dan's nap time, every time, is my nap time.
Speaker 2Hey watching with Dan and Tony. Hey watching with Dan and Tony. It's like watching. Yeah, welcome to hey Watching with Dan and Tony.
Speaker 1It's like watching you. Welcome to hey. Why Are you With Dan and Tony? I am Dan, I am Tony, and on this show we watch movies and then we regale you with our Regale.
Speaker 2Wow.
Speaker 1We regale the audience with our criticisms of the movies. And love it's love it's a bit of both we spent the last three plus years honing this so that it's really broad.
Speaker 2Is that a real-time timetable? Have we been doing this for three years, Dan?
Speaker 1Well, I have 200 episodes and there's 50 weeks in the year, so we're closer to four years.
Speaker 2Wow, and we missed a couple of weeks. So we're closer to four years, Wow, and you know we missed a couple of weeks, yeah. So closer to seven years.
Speaker 1So for the last four years, we've realized that the key to this show is to make it more and more bloated.
Speaker 2Just add more stuff, which that's funny because we're Zack Snyder-ing it. That's what I'll say.
Speaker 1We are Zack Snyder-ing it. That's what I'll say. We are Zack Snyder-ing it. So each week one of us picks a movie. This week, I think it was Tony that picked the movie. It was Tony. Talk about the movie you picked.
Speaker 2Well, the last episode we were talking about Solar Babies. Great film, Great film, wonderful film.
Speaker 2And during this I was talking and we were talking about the sport that they play very briefly for one game in that movie, and I was like, boy, the rules should be this. And as I was saying that I realized I was basically describing the rules of Rollerball and I was like I guess we should just watch that movie now and see if it holds up to what in my head. And it didn't. Spoiler alert it doesn't Rollerball, we're doing the remake of Rollerball 2002. Chris Klein.
Speaker 1Hour 37 minutes LL Cool J.
Speaker 2LL Cool J man.
Speaker 1Rebecca remains Stamos.
Speaker 2But I think she's not Stamos anymore.
Speaker 1Rebecca Romanos. I think not Stamos anymore, rebecca Romanos. They start her off wearing a mask, a big mask, because she has a hideous scar. Is that what it is? Yeah, she says that.
Speaker 2So I have a question Just off of that character-wise In the arena she's like this badass biker chick, right?
Speaker 1Big red helmet.
Speaker 2But then she's like oh, I got a scar from playing my extremely dangerous sport that I voluntarily play. Yes, and she's ashamed of it. Shouldn't that be a badge of honor? She's like yeah, I play rollerball like a freaking badass. It feels like a weird character choice for me to make her embarrassed by the fact that she's like yeah, I play rollerball like a freaking badass. It feels like a weird character choice for me to make her embarrassed by the fact that she's a badass well, more importantly, it's a.
Speaker 1It's a when they really first talk. When she talks, she says all this. They're her very, very initial time. When she talks, she says all this and then at no other point in the movie does it play out oh yeah, it's not like a yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 2I think they at some point added that scene just because they were like why is she in this headdress all the time? Should we make an?
Speaker 1excuse for it, and this is where I could tell my anecdote. Oh wow, the two most beautiful people I've ever seen in the world.
Speaker 2In real life.
Speaker 1In real life, irl. Both of them occurred on the street that I live now. Wow.
Speaker 2Okay, how long have you been on this street?
Speaker 120 years, 20, 25 years.
Speaker 2Okay, so we have. I would just I'm trying to hone in on the specifics, but we have a broad time frame, okay, continue.
Speaker 1I saw I believe I think this was on our street. I saw her getting out of a car up at the Starbucks on Melrose Sure.
Speaker 2Because it was just yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1Was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Speaker 2Believe it In real life. Well, second next to Shannon, oh yeah, next to my beautiful wife. I'm glad that you did the clasping of the hands. You're so innocent.
Speaker 1Yes, it's wonderful stuff, just a stunning human being. Yeah, totally. And then I saw what's his name Owen Wilson, most beautiful man I've ever seen, really At the coffee place, wearing like a tuxedo he was going somewhere, I don't know, I like the difference between those two stories. Like a tuxedo, um, he was going somewhere. I mean, you know, I don't know, but he was standing in front.
Speaker 2I like the difference between those two stories because him wearing a tuxedo in the middle of nothing, just it's funny to me because it's like, yeah, he's owen wilson, what a goofball wearing a tuxedo.
Speaker 1She was wearing some, some incredible something that was sure that showed off her figure. But uh, she's, she's a wow, she's a big wow.
Speaker 2Let's talk a little bit more about Owen Wilson being the most beautiful man you ever seen, because I don't know if you know, just in the movies I don't feel like he's always that attractive.
Speaker 1You don't? That's interesting. But when I saw him in person you were just like you know, there's beautiful, you know model-y men or whatever. But you just looked at him and you were just like you have to have that something. When they put you up on that gigantic screen for you to be like, oh yeah, I want to just sit here and watch this guy.
Speaker 2You know he's got the weird nose and there's a bunch of things going on, but he was.
Speaker 1But it's working for him. Okay, he was stunning to look at. You were like wow.
Speaker 2Well, now I'm going to tell my anecdote, dan, about the time I met Freddie Prinze Jr, also a beautiful man, okay, and that was just at one of my wrestling shows. He came and we all went out back and some people smoke out back. He was not smoking, I just want to be very clear. And we talked for a few minutes. He will never remember who I am, but I will always remember that moment. I love him. Freddie, if you're out there, let's BFFs.
Speaker 1There it is. That's never happening. So, yeah, so this movie, this movie, this movie is based on a 70s movie, 1971. This movie, I guess we'll talk a little bit about how it got made. They, they wrote up this script where it's uh, you know, social issues talking about, you know sports and society and violence, and, yeah, corporate control and ratings and all of these things. And then john mctiernan, the director, who did die hard, a perfect movie, all that stuff threw it in the trash and said I'm going to make an exciting action movie, action violence, sports movie with a lot of nudity. Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 2Seems like a weird choice.
Speaker 1Then he made that movie and they showed it to people and all the people were like what?
Speaker 2the fuck is this what's happening right now? Why is this happening? I don't want to see this anymore.
Speaker 1So then they did lots of reshoots and then they ended up with this thing, which is it has to be amongst the thinnest of movies. You know we've done some pretty thin movies. There is not a lot to chomp your teeth in to this movie.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's great. It's a real treat for the census, did you see?
Speaker 1the original. I seen the original and I watched the opening scene of the original and I watched some recaps and most of the recaps are these whiny millennials or Gen Xers going like. This movie is not successful in doing what it's, but I still think it's one of those really quintessential. You know, it's like the corporations have taken over the world and he you know, Jonathan, the main guy has is the biggest sports star in the world and the idea of the sport is it's supposed to teach people that life is futile it's kind of.
Speaker 2It's almost like purge-like. You know what I mean? Totally. War has been eradicated and the only place where violence is allowed is the rollerball, which is such a fun. What a fun idea. Where did that at least keep that Like in this movie? There's no reason for any of it. Nope, no reason. It's just a sport that they play in a different country. That's it. That's the whole premise of the movie. That's not a movie.
Speaker 1At some point they sort of tease that they're trying to get the North American sell the North American rights and that's kind of why they need him. But they don't.
Speaker 2Not only do they not need it, america doesn't give a shit about him. No, he's nothing. He's almost made the NHL. He hasn't even made it.
Speaker 1No, no, no he would Okay In the information dump that we get at the beginning. He was the number one pick of the NHL.
Speaker 2But he doesn't play for them anymore.
Speaker 1They wanted him in the minors. Yeah, he went to the minors.
Speaker 2So that's where you go to practice? I don't know.
Speaker 1Listen.
Speaker 2I don't pay a lot of attention to the NHL, even though I'm from Minnesota, but my understanding is you go to the minors because you're not quite ready. You're gonna be ready and you're good, but you're not there yet, so he's not a huge draw I can't imagine that the number one pick in the nhl they put they send to the minors.
Speaker 1There would never be a reason for that unless he sucks. They might do that in baseball because I know baseball. Baseball I know, spends a lot of time working people up. But well, your career is is usually longer.
Speaker 2I think in baseball this could be. I might be throwing out stuff from nothing, but I feel like in a, in a sport like hockey, it's probably a shorter career span, like similar to football, how most of the time you don't last that long because your body's getting beat to shit. Baseball feels like you could probably do it for a while.
Speaker 1Yeah, so in this movie we set up with this weird downhill race, which we'll talk about in a second. Yes, we will. And then he meets LL Cool J, who's playing in the rollerball leagues.
Speaker 2He gets him to go and join the rollerball leagues and then the next time we see him him he's basically the best player on the team, I guess, but also isn't it still his first game?
Speaker 1I couldn't tell you the millions first game. I know both things at the same time, dan, I think it's his first game he's the best one in the league already.
Speaker 2No, because they chant his name.
Speaker 1When he comes, john John Norton.
Speaker 2They chant his name because of all the publicity I'm assuming, because when he gets, when Chris Clyburn goes out, he's like, oh my God, like he's shocked by it all. Oh, okay, it has to be his first game, it does I mean listen, someone can tell me I'm wrong. I think it's his first game in the league.
Speaker 1Think it's his first game in the league and only as far as I can tell, he only plays two games in a week.
Speaker 2No, no, they play three games because they play a third. They play, they play two games.
Speaker 1They play the golden horde twice and then oh, that's right.
Speaker 2First and third, and then they play a team in the middle the guy in the suit of armor.
Speaker 1Is that it? You're right? Do they really only play three?
Speaker 2games, a total of three games in this movie. Oh my God, it's so terrible. And it's his retirement game. I don't understand. Maybe I'm wrong. Listen, I'm not saying I'm 100% sure that this is his first game, but I'm pretty sure it's his first game.
Speaker 1No, I think you're right, and they're like the amount you're getting paid and you're like why?
Speaker 2is he getting paid? And then they tell you how much he's getting paid, by the way, and it's not very much money.
Speaker 1No, no, no, the big bonus they're going to give him is $100,000.
Speaker 2And you're just like $100,000? That's nothing, Not to be rude, but that is not enough money to do what you're doing, sir.
Speaker 1No money to do what you're doing, sir? No, I mean because it's supposed to be take place. Wait, does this?
Speaker 2no, the the original rollerball takes place in 2018 I don't know if this one's written in the 70s and this one takes place in 2005 and was made in 2002 so it's the same time period, so you know, in two years he's gonna leave. I don't understand why you would do that.
Speaker 1That doesn't make any sense yeah, I mean that's not like an appreciable amount of money, more than like what you make no, well, that's what I'm saying, like, and obviously we're later right this is 20 years later later, but but even, even then it's not a ton of money they Sports.
Speaker 2people were still making millions of dollars.
Speaker 1So, yeah, this is not enough money to risk your life. Yeah, so, yeah. So the whole thing starts with his downhill race where he's racing this other guy.
Speaker 2It's called Street Luge, dan let's get it right, okay.
Speaker 1It's a downhill street luge. Yes, yeah, and it's him versus another guy. I'm going to need you to explain this to me they start at the top of the hill, then they're going through San Francisco, for yeah, there's people with cameras.
Speaker 2I don't know if there's a wager or it starts with. The people with the cameras are going to pay him $400.
Speaker 1Oh, is it $400?
Speaker 2Oh, I didn't hear that $400 to take pictures of this race. Why?
Speaker 1would they pay him to take pictures of the race?
High-Stakes Street Racing and Consequences
Speaker 2I don't know I don't understand anything that's happening.
Speaker 2One who's, the other guy Don't know, Because he seems to want to kill chris climb. He keeps trying to push him into traffic. Why is he doing that? What is this rivalry? That's that that we never see again? No, who's paying 400 to take pictures? But they're also kind of like. They kind of like yell at them too. They like drive next to him in a car and and yell things at them. Hey, look over, look over here, dump, dump. I don't understand anything that's happening right now.
Speaker 1I mean and that's the whole thing is. If you do a little research there's there's a bunch of things about how street racers you know interact with with you know. It's like if you were sure a person like that, you'd be like hey guys, we're on the YouTube channel, I'm going to go from the top of this mountain all the way there and follow along, and then he'd be paying people and he'd be making money off the channel, or someone would be making money somewhere.
Speaker 2Right, they should. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. Now my second question. I actually have a lot of questions about this first scene Question. The second would be as he's still an NHL prospect at this point, I guess, would you jeopardize your entire NHL career to do a street? It's incredibly dangerous. They haven't blocked off the streets at all, there's just cars and pedestrians everywhere. Would you put your life in danger like that if you're about to make millions of dollars in the NHL?
Speaker 1Well, he's, he doesn't think he's going to the NHL, said you've got to go to the minors and so he said I don't want to do that, bro, and I mean, what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to make him an adrenaline junkie, right? And so there's no reason for a race. You know you can make it as dangerous as you want, just him by himself doing a thing like I live on the edge fuckers. You know that I love this character. This character we will want to watch.
Speaker 2That character's name is Xander Cage from Triple X. Oh, ok, that character's name is zander cage from triple x. Oh okay, is that? Is that who he is? I'm pretty sure I. I should have done my research and I apologize, I'm pretty sure the first time we see triple x he is also street lugeing. Oh okay, like I'm, I'm, I'm, I feel good about that. Yeah, but that's listen. That's also probably a franchise. We'll hit on this at some point.
Speaker 1Ooh, I think I've seen this, I don't know. I feel like.
Speaker 2I've seen maybe one and two, were you saying you've seen the?
Speaker 1second one. I'm pretty sure I've seen this. That's with Ice Cube or something. I'm almost sure I've seen the second one. That movie's wild that movie is wild.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's wild Okay wild.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's wild, okay, um yeah, I don't know. So we have to set him up as something and we set him up as nothing. We set him up as, like, I'm just doing a thing to do a thing, do it just for fun, for 400, like this.
Speaker 2He's doing everything for such little money. First of all, it's weird to me like this. This movie came out when I was in high school right, I think, junior year of high school 2002, right, not to date myself too much. Whoops For $400 in high school. That's nothing to me, that's nothing Like even then. That's nothing to me. It's so weird. And it doesn't set him up for rollerball at all.
Speaker 1You know what I mean, that is not a skill, it's not even he should be on skates.
Speaker 2He should be on skates. This should be an inline downhill skating thing. How is that not the thing you choose? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. That's just such an easy choice. He's on wheels already. You just make him rollerblade down the thing, make it a roller race. I don't know.
Speaker 1That's bizarre let's get to the bigger question. Could you shoot this any more uninteresting?
Speaker 2they look like they're going so slow, which they probably are, because safety concerns right, but when we do the wide shots. They're being held back. There's probably a car following them that's going like five miles per hour and they're just we'll paint that out in post.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, good job guys good job.
Speaker 2I just they. They when they do the wide shots they're so slow. They should at least keep it tight, then Make it seem like they're going at high speeds, because then the guy, the rival guy, hits something and flies 200 feet in the air into a restaurant window or something, oh, and he dies.
Speaker 1He has to be dead? Oh, because after it's over, the police are waiting at his apartment. That's kind of why he goes, and leaves.
Speaker 2That's a good point. I didn't understand why there were 15 policemen at the street loser's apartment, because he killed a guy.
Speaker 1That dude died yeah.
Speaker 2And he killed a guy.
Speaker 1He could kill a guy, Well wow.
Speaker 2Almost like you could have that as a plot in the movie, sure, but instead we'd never talk about it again. He doesn't even care. He doesn't even care that he just killed this guy for four hundred dollars get away from me.
Speaker 1Oh, you're dead. Like okay, I guess so he. He gets to the bottom and then there's ll cool, jay.
Speaker 2He doesn't get to the bottom Dan.
Speaker 1Oh, he's still going.
Speaker 2He's still going. He's running from the cops. Ll Cool J just runs into him, like he just finds him in the street somehow and he's like hey, bro, get in the car. So he has to jump off the street, luge into the car, which is ridiculous. How did LL Cool J find him? How did he know?
Speaker 1He was watching it on YouTube Live Because.
Speaker 2Chris Klein doesn't even know that he's in town. He's like oh bro, when did you get back in town? I don't what's happening here, dan.
Speaker 1In movies you have supreme coincidences, right.
Speaker 2That's a.
Speaker 1Thing that you have in movies and the good movies. You don't think about how insanely coincidental something happening is until later. But if you're sitting there watching the movie and you're going like what, how does he? You can't do it like that.
Speaker 2No, or at least make him comment on it.
Speaker 1You know what I mean.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Nope, you know, you just give them that line. Oh yeah, I heard you're doing this race today and I wanted to see what was going on.
Speaker 2Great yeah, boom, that's perfect, that's all you need. You just give me one line, otherwise it's just like yeah, I was driving home from the grocery boy, I better help him out, so, yeah, so he's like, well, maybe you should come, and then he gets out and then he starts like wandering back home. He has no one to call why didn't LL Cool J just drop him off at his door?
Speaker 1No clue, no clue. Why don't they go out for a drink? I don't know, maybe you could have the two of them, you know.
Speaker 2Drive by and see the police and we could have some conversation down. You slow down the car like you're gonna stop and he's like oh shit, it's swarming with police, and then you just drive by. You know?
Speaker 1you know just a movie thing maybe I will, you know, but he changes it, doesn't he just sort of change his mind and magically he's in 100, because when they say goodbye, lo cool jay says I'm here till nine o'clock tomorrow morning.
Speaker 2If you change your mind and then he sees policemen because he's a murderer and he changed his mind, what are you gonna do? But didn't so okay. Another question yeah, they know where he lives, so they know who he is. He can't leave the country, dan how's he flying?
Speaker 1out of the country in a murder investigation? He can, is he can't leave the country, dan, how's he flying out of the?
Speaker 2country. He's been suspected of murder investigation.
Speaker 1He can't leave.
Speaker 2He can't leave. Oh boy, oh boy.
Speaker 1I love this movie you know, then you just have one shot of this Learjet parked on the thing and he's all like there's your ride.
Speaker 2There you go. Let's get out of here.
Speaker 1Let's get out of this country Boom.
Speaker 2There it is. He can't come back Because I'm wanted for murder.
Speaker 1He can't come back to America. Wow, it's almost like he has to go and do something like this bullshit. He's just blown up. He's an adrenaline junkie. He's doing this race for street cred. Now he's got to get the fuck out of the country because there's a murder investigation hanging over his head. Wow, great, it's almost like he'd have a reason to be so.
Speaker 2Look at that. You set up the movie.
Speaker 1All right, moving on. That was so hard, and I mean we make fun of Hollywood writers and all that, but these directors have this at their hand and they choose not to do it. They're the ones that choose not to do these things. It's not that we're super brilliant with super ideas. These are the very easy ideas that I'm sure people hand them on a piece of paper. He's like no man, I know what I'm doing. No, you don't know what you're doing. He knows what he's doing.
Speaker 2Dan, let me explain it to you. Okay, he did it for $400, all right, everybody's going to understand it's $400. It's like the lottery. Of course he's going to do it. You have to kind of set that up. You know what? I take it back. It actually makes perfect sense. You have to set up that. He will do something very stupid for very little money.
Speaker 1Because then when?
Speaker 2he goes to Kazakhstan or wherever they go he's like oh yeah, I'm going to do it for $100,000. Kazakhstan, or wherever they go? He's like, oh yeah, I'm going to do it for $100,000,. Guys, I'm going to murder everybody.
Speaker 1So it actually makes perfect sense. Do you want to talk about the lack of charisma that Christopher Klein spews?
Speaker 2out into the world. Let's talk about my boy, chris. This poor guy. This was one of those.
Movie Critique and Sports Analysis
Speaker 2I need to go back through his filmography. I shouldn't be talking out of pocket here, but I feel like this was his chance to prove he could do something other than a comedy. Sure, right, because I mean, you know he did American Pies Yep, great, those are great. He's fine in them. He's not the guy that you fall in love with in those movies, right, he's not the lead, he's just a fun character on the side, has a nice storyline.
Speaker 2Whatever, he can do that, and I think this must have been one of his first real leading man roles. I would think so, yeah. And then it turns out he can't, some people can, some people can't, and he's he's fine in that side role. I want it. And the reason why I bring that up is because he's in one of my favorite movies, just friends, which I think is a criminally underrated comedy movie, first of all, christmas movie, all the above, and he is wonderful in that movie. He can play the goofy asshole so well. Sure, we should just cast him more than that. You know they probably did cast him, guys.
Speaker 2At least he's working.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's the way I look at it, at least I'm sure, I'm sure all those american pie movies bought him a house and cars.
Speaker 2Oh, totally.
Speaker 1Got him where he has a nice life.
Speaker 2I hope so. Listen, if you're out there, Chris. I hope you're doing well, I really do, Because woof he's not good in this movie, he's not good in this movie.
Speaker 2I want to be very clear. He is not charming or likable, which is a problem, because there's a scene where they talk about the scar, where him and Rebecca are talking about the scar, he doesn't come off empathetic or likable at all. He's like why it's fine, you look fine, stop being a little bitch about. It is basically the scene and I was so taken aback, like this is the scene where he should show the softer side and and like oh yeah, you know I'm a tough, hard ass, but also you know I'm a lovable, nice guy and that's why we're in a relationship like he needs to be a likable character and he's not so you're saying he brings the hardest of the relationship but not to the part of the rollerball where he's supposed to?
Speaker 2be. Yeah, he mixed them up. That's. It's tough.
Speaker 1It happens to all of us, you know so we're at the first um, the first thing, the first. Uh, it's game night. There's super cars, there's fancy titles, it's the horde versus the reds, or something they call. You know everyone in the stand. It's all minors, all these minors, and they're like John. John, he comes in, he does like a big flip, which I don't think you should ever be doing, these kinds of maneuvers on skates. I can't think you should ever be doing these kind of maneuvers on skates. I I can't imagine you should be doing this shit on skates.
Speaker 2Well, you shouldn't, but that's why he's so cool. Oh okay, cool man, so real quick. The best actor in this movie is the announcer oh no, he's the worst, he's so horrible he's so funny, no, he's not funny I think he's great.
Speaker 2He's got my favorite line of the whole movie, which is somewhere in this scene where we're about to play the first game and he's talking about the rules of the sport and I don't know. Blah, blah, blah. Eventually he says uh, the rest of the rules are all in russian and too confusing, so we're not going to talk about. That's funny, because this sport doesn't make any sense and they do spend a chunk of time, exposition wise, trying to explain the sport to me, where you roll around twice there's a bridge, there's jumps, there's a ball. I was what. There's 3d diagrams at some point that are trying to explain the sport to me. I was like guys, I don't think I care, I'm just gonna tell you, let me watch I gotta, I gotta tell you something about sports movies, don't okay, okay, tell me something about sports movies you may have never noticed this in sports movies, okay, but the audience has to understand what the score is.
Speaker 2I mean in some way it would be nice if they showed a score at all Is there even a scoreboard in this?
Speaker 1I don't know. I never saw one and they never show the scoreboard, so you never know who's winning, who's losing. What the stakes are of winning and losing are Nothing, Nothing, and I'm sorry. But so you never know who's winning, who's losing. What the stakes are of winning and losing are Nothing, Nothing, and I'm sorry, but the excitement of a sports movie, even in a terrible movie like Space Jam they show us.
Speaker 2I'm sorry, they show us, you mean Space Jam 2.
Speaker 1Space Jam 2.
Speaker 2Because Space Jam 1 is a perfect film.
Speaker 1Space Jam 2. You see that and you know Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes. Space Jam 2,.
Speaker 2You see that and you know Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes or LeBron and the Looney Tunes have to score X amount of points in a certain amount of time.
Speaker 1And so you're like come on LeBron and the Looney Tunes, Come on Lola Bunny. We just want to look at you. I mean, yes, yes, Go, go, Tweety Bird, Go, Tweety Bird.
Speaker 2Tweety Bird, but they never show us the score.
Speaker 1The one thing we do see is the global ratings, which, when this global ratings is just this magic number 14.2, 14.4. So, as it either gets more exciting or less exciting, they have to then zhuzh that up by causing violence to make it go through the roof.
Speaker 2Here's a couple of questions on ratings. Are they instantaneous, because nielsen ratings come out way later?
Speaker 1no, of course they're not. This is okay, this is a 2005, so it's the future.
Speaker 2Uh, so I guess maybe that's part of it. My other question, dan, is how does that even work?
Speaker 1because they it's on a screen and the number goes up or it goes down. That's how it works.
Speaker 2Problem solved let's say they start at 8.1 rating. Whatever, whatever the hell that means, right? Yes, yes and then somebody gets hurt and the ratings go to 12. How does that happen? How are people in real time? Are people just on the phone? Be like, bro, you got to check this out. Turn to channel 24 right now because someone just got hurt. That's not realistic. It's not like we have. I don't think we have Twitter at this point. Right, we don't have social media.
Speaker 1Do we have social media?
Speaker 2How are these people tuning in when something exciting happens that fast?
Speaker 1You pick up your rotary phone. No, I mean, and that's well, it's three years in the future, so you know I'm sure they had all that stuff.
Speaker 2You never know what's going to happen in three years Big things.
Speaker 1Yeah, it is kind of absurd to think that you can, you could do something and then know that your, your audience is increasing to that level does it even today.
Speaker 2That doesn't make any sense. Like all of your views come in vod video on demand afterwards, you know. I mean like they go viral on social media an injury in football. Everyone sees it late like it's weird. It doesn't make any sense and you get the.
Speaker 1You know you should get the ratings afterwards right, a hundred percent, yeah. So you kind of want to have this one one where you're like, oh my god, that that terrible thing happened.
Speaker 2So what that means is we gotta we gotta now start to jet the first one it has to be an accident, then the second one it's not an accident, then the second one it's not an accident. Yeah. And the third one you're like they're going to try and have somebody killed.
Speaker 2And so in this one, let's see Well while you're looking at that, let's talk about Chris Klein's helmet for a minute. Dan, he never, not a single time, straps his helmet closed. His straps are always just dangling. That's not safe. His sport is incredibly dangerous and he's doing flips and stuff. How does his helmet stay on all the time?
Speaker 1He doesn't even wear his special body armor.
Speaker 2He doesn't even wear the special body armor.
Speaker 1That's correct. He's too dangerous.
Speaker 2It's ludicrous. It doesn't make him cooler than everybody else. It just bothers me when he's skating around and his flaps are doing this little. It drives me crazy.
Speaker 1So we have a nice musical interlude, which I'm sure is one of Tony's favorite parts. What is the song that they do? I don't know.
Speaker 2Here comes the boom ready or not they played that song in this movie. Yeah, I don't even remember it. Maybe I was looking at his chin strap the whole time. Yeah, because I do like that song.
Speaker 1So this one guy. I wrote down that his name was Modok. I don't know if his name was Modok.
Speaker 2That sounds like something that could happen in this movie.
Speaker 1Kind of the dumb guy. He gets his helmet knocked off and then he gets the ball to the face.
Speaker 2And this is why I was bringing this up and the ratings shoot up, dan, two questions yeah, one yeah again. Chris klein never straps his helmet. Yes, so like the fact that they find his helmet has been cut, the guy that just got beat up. Why does that matter?
Speaker 1that's stupid well, because they knocked off his helmet, because they cut that first, his helmet doesn't even do anything he doesn't have a cage.
Speaker 2They could just smash the front of his face they knock it off they need to take the helmet off at all. Just run the ball into the guy's nose and break his face that's so they.
Speaker 1They have a clue. That's like a clue you have to have a clue.
Speaker 2Somebody sliced it so they could take it off and hit him in a different part of his exposed head.
Speaker 1So Jonathan sees this and he goes crazy and brings the vengeance to some more rock and roll music.
Speaker 2Oh no, so that's the best part.
Speaker 1This is the best part of the movie. So we get the vengeance and they get the. He's like he cues the rock band that's there.
Speaker 2He cues them and they're like oh.
Speaker 1And they're like, I'm just like, here we go this is what this movie. This is how this movie's going to get us going. It's going to have the greatest sports scenes ever and they win. And you're just. I was pumped, I was completely pumped and I'm like here we go, and then every other scene in the ring is worse than this one. They're dreadful the last one is literally the most dreadful of them all.
Speaker 2Yeah, so what I'm confused about is him signaling the band.
Speaker 1Yeah, he signals the band.
Speaker 2Why is this the only time that he signals the band? Shouldn't he signal the band again at a different time? Because this is the only time it matters? Any time throughout the movie, when they're about to go on a run, he should be manipulating the game a little bit. He should be so good at the game that he's like okay, now I'm going to turn it on and take over the game. This is my MJ moment. Cue the music brothers, and then he goes and does some magic stuff you know, that should be like a thing, if it's going to be a thing what kobe used to do.
Speaker 1Kobe be out there. He'd like give me the ball right, exactly like this is they're giving the ball to kobe and everyone's like, oh, they're giving the ball to kobe. Yeah, because they're giving the ball to kobe, it's takeover time that is a thing in sports like you, let your best player take over in the fourth quarter.
Speaker 2That's what you do, right, that's what you do. Put that in there. You kind of did it just now, but like, make that a thing, make that part of his character, then because this movie doesn't understand about sports well, or character or anything, just anything in general.
Speaker 1So they win my favorite part hold on. I just want to say one of my other favorite parts of this movie is when he takes a drink sometime at the half.
Speaker 2They take like a time out. He takes a drink and he puts it down and they're like, hey, you have to drink again and he's very confused about it. Yeah, and ellen kush is like label out man. I loved that. That needs to be more in the movie. It needs to be, you know, the product placement. It's all about making your money that way, like these are the things that this should be about, and it might have been about it at some point. I don't know, maybe more changes happen, but there's kernels of a movie that I would like to see in here.
Speaker 1Yep nope, no, they have a press conference, they do the locker room, then they all go out to the supercars. Let's talk about the locker room real quickly. The club.
Speaker 2I'm going to give a shout out to the locker room scene.
Speaker 1There is nudity.
Speaker 2Yes, but not sexualized.
Speaker 1No, not at all.
Speaker 2You know what I mean and I think that's cool. They lose it later when they make Rebecca work out topless, because that's insane. But this scene I appreciate the fact that it's like a co-ed locker room and it's just like it's a thing. We're all cool with it, we're comfortable with it. That's a cool moment. Again, they ruin it later, but that's a cool little moment.
Speaker 1Yeah, because there's naked guys and girls and they don't care.
Speaker 2Yeah, nobody cares. We're a team and we're doing it. I think that's cool. I will say that in the theatrical release they CGI'd black tank tops over the topless women because it was a PG-13 release.
Speaker 1Oh, okay.
Speaker 2And then they went back and made the R-rated cut later.
Speaker 1Whew. So they go to the club. There's a bunch of gangstery slash bodyguards that sort of watch them and that's sort of just a setup that they're always sort of being watched and there's always guys that are going to do stuff For why?
Speaker 2For what? There's no reason really.
Speaker 1They toast the guy that got messed up, and then we find out that his chimp strap was cut, and so Jonathan's going to go see the boss Petrovich and there's all these big wig investors. And then he tells the boss, you know, we can't be doing this. This is not cool, bro. Right.
Speaker 2Why does he care?
Speaker 1Why does Jonathan care? Because it's his team.
Speaker 2He's a team player, yeah, but he doesn't say that. You know what I mean. I would like to hear some reasons why this upsets you a little bit, because right now I don't really get it.
Speaker 1It's almost like a place where you could put in a personal anecdote about what he's dealt with in the world.
Speaker 2I love that.
Corporate Corruption and Game Manipulation
Speaker 1Yeah, you know, I didn't go to the NHL bosses. They would always do these things. They didn't care about us. Blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah is to say this line, the angriest man in the game.
Speaker 2He just doesn't know it yet and you know who else doesn't know. It dan, what the audience well, they will never learn it because he's never angry.
Speaker 2nope, never happens. The third act in that third game, when he goes back out there at the end, he should be angry. He's not. No, he's not angry, he's almost defeated. He basically goes out there and says I'm going to have to take the beating of a lifetime because that's what they want. He's not mad. He doesn't say I'm going to fuck some shit up right now because I'm the maddest man in the world. I don't understand this line.
Speaker 1You mean there's a line in the movie that isn't paid off at any time, at any point in time Great stuff. Jonathan drives home, he talks to his handlers about gambling, then he sneaks back to the training facility where Rebecca remains. Stamos is working out.
Speaker 2We have to mention this because it's the weirdest scene in the movie. Why would you ever in a million years work out topless Cause it's hot? What an unnecessary danger that is.
Speaker 1You know, I was talking to Shannon and like we were watching the soccer Olympic soccer and like one of the guys like took off his shirt because he scored a thing and he's wearing like a sports bra and I'm like why, is a dude wearing a sports bra and she's like chafing yeah, 100% because of his nipples. He's out there sweating and doing everything that his nipples will get destroyed.
Speaker 2His nipples will get destroyed.
Speaker 1He has to wear a whole separate piece doing everything that his nipples will get destroyed, he has to wear a whole separate piece of clothing to protect his male nipples. Yeah, you just want to hold it in which someone like me? You know I don't have that problem.
Speaker 2Dan, I do have that problem. I have two problems, to be honest with you. One is that just when I go like we went to Huntington Beach last week and we did a hike and we did 22 steps in a day, which is not something I normally do basically rubbed raw, because when I walk my boobies they bounce, bro, and my shirt does, you know what I mean? So it's rubbing constantly. The other problem I have, which is too much information for everybody, is in a car the seatbelt cuts my nipple because my boob, like it, folds over it and so my nipple is just constantly being rubbed by the seatbelt. So I gotta work on that, I gotta figure that one out. So I'm just saying I wouldn't do this stuff. I would love to have a little security.
Speaker 1I'm gonna tell you something else, tony, something that you're going to learn in old age. That's now. The fat in your butt goes away.
Speaker 2Well, that's actually probably good. No, it's not good, oh, it's bad.
Speaker 1So that means, if you're sitting on a wood bench for an extended period of time. Your bone is there and like with me, it can like work up in me and like my legs can like die, literally like die.
Speaker 2If.
Speaker 1I sit too long on something that's hard and wood. So you don't have to look forward to.
Speaker 2Well damn it, we don't sit on hard things.
Speaker 1Get it. No, it's dirty. What does that mean? I don't like sitting on foot. It was like it was just a dirty joke.
Speaker 2It was a dirty joke.
Speaker 1I'm a dirty joke machine. I'm just a joke machine. You can't make fart jokes, but I can make hard wood jokes. Yeah.
Speaker 2Listen, they're funny.
Speaker 1So Jonathan earlier told everybody that hold on a second Wait a second Back to train up what's going on. If that was their first game, how is he already in a relationship with her? Shit? He tells people that she's a lesbian. The new guy comes in and he's like oh no, she's a lesbian.
Speaker 2You can't get with her. You're absolutely right, dan. It can't be their first game, but it feels like their first game. Why is the announcer telling us the rules? Why would he do?
Speaker 1that midseason. Maybe this is his second season with the team.
Speaker 2I don't know, man, it's not clear and I don't like it. All right.
Speaker 1But you're absolutely right.
Speaker 2No, no man, it's not clear and I don't like it, All right, but you're absolutely right?
Speaker 1No, you're right, because it sounds like they have history. You're right? Well, no, they've had sex before. Because she's like can we just once have sex in a bed? In a bed? No, we must do it here, because I'm an idiot. No, we cannot do this. I don't understand. I don't understand.
Speaker 2I don't understand anything.
Speaker 1Oh my God, Because she's embarrassed by her scar, which we talk about. It's just dumb, and then he talks with her about how they cut the cord on the strap on the helmet, and then she's like, didn't you see? Every camera was on him?
Speaker 2And he's like, oh my God, they filmed that intentionally she shows him all of the camera angles Because she has access to all the footage. She has access, but how? I understand. She has a connection, she has this guy, but I mean literally.
Speaker 2Oh, Sergei is the guy on the inside Guy on the inside, but what is he sending her? That's what I don't understand. She has some sort of multi-view with five different feeds going at the same time. I don't know what that is. I don't know what she's looking at. Sergei gave that to her. I just don't understand what he gave her.
Speaker 1So they're like okay, she's like well, let's go see Sergei. For what reason, I don't know, since he's already given all the evidence, so they're going to go there, they drive there, and then the miners are revolting and so they have to get out of the car, and then the miners destroy the most expensive, beautiful car and it's very sad.
Speaker 2It's the most emotion Chris Klein shows in the whole movie my car. Why are they revolting?
Speaker 1Oh, because of bad, because you know this is part of the whole. You know, rich versus poor, and the idea of this movie is supposed to be that.
Speaker 2I understand what it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1He's the hero of the miners, and then when he finally gets them to rise up, you know, then the corporate bosses are in trouble but it doesn't.
Speaker 2It doesn't make sense in this movie. I assume it makes a lot of sense in the original, which I haven't seen.
Speaker 1Yeah, this one doesn't make any sense, but because we don't, because we don't know if this is his first game, his arousal, game. We don't know any of these things we do not know hit the power of his influence because we don't know what's happening.
Speaker 2I have no idea what's happening. I don't know.
Speaker 1I I got nothing so they go to try to find sergey. There's a weird guy there which I think chris klein kills that guy too. Yeah, just straight up murders him, yep murders another guy and then she's all like we gotta get out of here. It might be police. And then they go to the airport because everyone's leaving. They're putting all the other supercars onto a plane and then they're also getting on a plane and they're almost too late.
Speaker 2Yeah, big drama.
Speaker 1And then he explains to LL that they're screwing with the game. They get to the new country outcome the cars and where they explained cars are part of the show. Oh, that was the other thing he said. That was his car that got destroyed. Then somebody is like that's not your car.
Speaker 2Rebecca, Rebecca is like no, it's owned by the lead, the team owner guy.
Speaker 1So he doesn't know if he owns his own car.
Speaker 2If so, he doesn't know if he owns his own car. If he doesn't know, I sure as shit don't know If it's his first day.
Speaker 1If this is his first game, then it makes sense. Maybe he doesn't know, sure, but if it's not his first game, then it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2And we should see more of him getting preferential treatment, because that's part of it. There's a moment at some point in the movie where him and one of the other team members are like talking and Chris Klein says something to the effect of what we're getting paid, it's just, it's just what we do, and the guy says you're getting paid ten times as much as I am. Yeah, movie where there should be a discrepancy on the team, where chris klein's character has to like realize oh shit, I'm being, I'm being treated differently than the rest of these people. We should all be treated equal. Let's rise up, right, that's. That's a track that I could follow.
Speaker 1Yes, it is we don't do that and no, we don't in. In the original Rollerball, jonathan had a wife, but one of the bigwigs at the corporation wanted his wife, and so he had to give up his wife.
High-Stakes Sports and Disguises
Speaker 2What? Yeah, that's intense. Wow, I'm going to have to watch this movie. I almost did. And then I did something else, which we'll talk about later.
Speaker 1And you're right. He lives in this elevated status, but he doesn't live in the elevated he's somewhere in the middle. Yeah, he's in the upper, but there's always that other level.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1And it was interesting. One of these people I watched that was talking to me was all like why don't they ever show him dealing with the super poor and blah, blah, blah, blah and it's like it's all implied, right? Yes we know that he's existing at this level.
Speaker 2We you know, just like in this movie.
Speaker 1We understand that the minors are the bottom and then you know the good play. The normal players are here and then he's up here.
Speaker 2We know that, but we don't talk about it, we don't. We don't do anything about it.
Speaker 1You don't have to talk about it. You just have to say how that's going to affect things at a certain point right.
Speaker 2It has to have an impact as opposed to just being like oh, by the way, this is the hierarchy.
Speaker 1Nobody cares nobody cares, doesn't mean anything. We're gonna. You've set up a hierarchy.
Speaker 2You have to use it for something in fact, we do the opposite in this movie, when we're escaping and the team puts together a bunch of money. We'll talk about that later. But it's this movie, man. It doesn't make a lick of sense.
Speaker 1So screw with the game new country cars, and then you go to the new arena and then we get white zombie or drop zombie playing a song which ends with this fractional video appearance of pink going like this that was pink.
Speaker 2That was pink like the pop star.
Speaker 1Yeah, it was like a little little three second video clip of her. You're just like oh mtv now we're gonna get a pink song and you're like, nope, nope, we're not that's so weird.
Speaker 2I wonder how much they had to pay for that, just to have the cloud of being like well pink's in our movie.
Speaker 1And then at this next game, it's the same thing again. Petrovich yells at, a guy pulls a gun. They sabotage the glass in this game. And then the crowd eats the newest guy, rabbit alive.
Speaker 2Which is confusing to me. So, first of all, people are dead right Because that guy went through the glass and landed on a bunch of people.
Speaker 1And they ate him.
Speaker 2Yeah, they were and yeah, so I don't get that, what don't you?
Speaker 1get.
Speaker 2Why did they mob him and basically attack him?
Speaker 1Because he is from the other team?
Speaker 2Oh, because, we're at an away game.
Speaker 1Yeah, visiting team. Okay, and he was the new new guy on the setup that. He was the new guy in the last sort of setup, so you can have the crowd eat him.
Speaker 2He's cannon fodder. Yes, he's cannon fodder. It's a weird moment that they're just tearing him to pieces, because it makes more sense to me in the original storyline, where this is the only release of that sort of feeling we have. That's not set up in this movie at all. This is just a sport that happens Yep, straight up, end of story, world at all. This is just a sport that happens yep, straight up, end of story, worldwide. It's just a sport. So them attacking him is very weird to me. And the stadiums aren't that large. Right also that, yeah not very large?
Speaker 2not, we're not making that much money. That's why he's only getting a hundred thousand. Yeah, we don't have a lot of money.
Speaker 1So you're wrong, Tony we do have four games. We have four games, Are you sure? Because now we go to Mongolia, because at the Mongolia game we have Slipknot playing.
Speaker 2That's true. I have a guitar that Slipknot signed, do you? Yeah, right back there, slipknot signed it. You want me to grab it? I can grab it. No, I really don't care. Okay, that's fine, but I have a signed Slipknot guitar. Why do you have that? They performed. We used to do a thing called Yahoo Music and they were one of the bands that performed, so they signed all of their instruments and gave them to the crew also they gave you like a Slipknot guy handed you his actual guitar.
Speaker 1So it's a real guitar.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's a real guitar oh, it's not like a toy guitar. No, it's not a toy guitar, it's like a real guitar that they use for one performance on Yahoo Music you must get paid a lot of money.
Speaker 1Do they get paid $100,000?
Speaker 2I think they probably get paid $400. A lot of people do a lot of stuff for 400 did you guys lose money?
Speaker 1yeah, we lose money because we gave, we keep, we are instruments. Why did we do? All the instruments I don't know the people love it okay, now was the guy with the hair that gave you the guitar no, I honestly don't remember it that well, which is unfortunate, you know.
Speaker 2But I'm not. No, no offense, I'm not a huge slipknot fan, uh. But I was like, yeah, cool, I mean, I'll take it, that's fine. I'm also getting paid for the day, but that's fine, guitar, sure, whatever. It's just a job guy, I'm not I'm not a fan I'm just here.
Speaker 1this guy thought he was making your life by giving you this guitar.
Speaker 2He was like yeah, Joke's on you, you idiot. I'm just here for a paycheck.
Speaker 1I'd probably give it to my nephew. He's seven.
Speaker 2If he knew who Slipknot was, maybe I would. He'd probably think it was cool as shit.
Speaker 1Is it in a case?
Speaker 2Nope, I care very little. It's literally like thrown in the back corner, just with a bunch of gear.
Speaker 1It's probably worth some money, Tony.
Speaker 2It might be, I don't know. I don't sell things. You know what I mean, tony.
Speaker 1Okay, game is boring. And so they call out the big oh, this is the one with the. It's the guy in the armor and they call him out. And then the big oh, this is the one where it's the guy in the armor and they call him out. And then the big guy hammers Aurora and then cuts her fuel line and they try to blow her up. Oh, that's right.
Speaker 1But Marcus sees the gas and he pulls her off the bike and he crashes, and then Marcus gets hurt and then. So this is the catalyst for their like.
Speaker 2Okay, this is too dangerous, this is no good, which is really funny to me, because other people on their team are getting hurt and killed and they don't care, no, but the second that LL Cool J accidentally puts himself in harm's way they decide. You know what? It's too much, it's too close to home. We gotta get out of here we gotta leave.
Speaker 2It's ridiculous, me and jonathan, which I don't think they've done anything to jonathan right no, well, they can't because he's the star, he's the guy, they need him and ll says that line he says something to chris on the lines of they need us, so they're not gonna do anything to us, so just sit back and enjoy the money. He basically says that and then the next game he puts himself in harm's way to save the girl and then is upset that they targeted him yeah, and he's like I got a wife and kid. That's why which you always had, by theL Cool J. They didn't just pop out now, so stop being an idiot.
Speaker 1So at the hospital he's like I'm okay, I feel fine, and he's like somebody says you said this, oh no. So then Chris Klein's character, jonathan, goes to complain to the boss and he's all like, bro, you said this would stop. And he's all like and I made you rich, which is not true.
Speaker 2As far as I can tell, it's inaccurate.
Speaker 1He didn't give me a car. We don't ever see him with any money or fancy clothes or cool shoes.
Speaker 2In fact, his teammates in this scene we'll talk about it right now pooled together their own money to help Chris and LL Cool J escape, because they couldn't get into LL Cool J's apartment to get his bag of money, which is weird to begin with, people watching.
Speaker 1What about does?
Speaker 2Chris Klein have a bag of money I don't know. As far as I can tell, Chris Klein has yet to be paid for this sport. I'm very confused by it.
Speaker 1So this weird panel truck shows up In. They come with the flowers. It's Dan and Aurora wearing secret disguises. She's wearing a thing where you can only see her beautiful eyes Whenever she walks by somebody that she knows, she looks at them as intently and largely as possible.
Speaker 2Those are familiar. I recognize those eyes.
Speaker 1I know those eyes, so they sneak in this whole big thing and you're like oh, we're going to do the old trick-a-roo where we come in with the cart, then we leave with the cart. You know laundry cart.
Speaker 2And now they're on the cart.
Speaker 1So why did they go with the laundry cart?
Speaker 2Bigger. I don't know, did they say, was there a line? No, there was no line.
Speaker 1Okay, if you're paying attention, you'd see why they brought the cart in.
Speaker 2I'm not paying attention.
Speaker 1So they could sneak in some boots for LL Cool J.
Speaker 2No, the guy needs boots. What do you mean?
Speaker 1I mean, right now he's wearing tennis shoes day and he can't escape in those, yep, they gotta give him boots so that he can. They can just climb out the window and easily escape. Uh, they flee on motorcycle. Um, then they're on a dirt road and then they don't know how to read odometers. Well, no, it's a joke.
Speaker 2It's a really funny joke, Dan. Oh, was it a joke? I thought they couldn't read it.
Speedy Escape and Betrayal Plan
Speaker 2No, it's a really good joke. Let me explain it to you, because you obviously don't understand this top-tier joke. Chris Klein is worried that they're driving too fast because he's an adrenaline junkie. But he doesn't want to drive too fast on a motorcycle, yes. So he says hey ll cool, j, how fast are you going? It looks like you're going 120 miles per hour. And it's just like no, bro, that's in clicks. We're in a different country, don't worry about it, I'm not going that fast. And then, and then chris klein looks at it and says nope, that's miles per hour, we're going 120. It's a great joke, it's a really good joke. He didn't get it well.
Speaker 2And then his character's like that's too fast it's too dangerous, that's he becomes a huge whiner. Yeah, yep, just like Dan. Why is this scene shot in night?
Speaker 1vision. That was my joke I was going to make. I was like I don't understand. Why would you? It's like a whole 10, 12 minute segment of the movie.
Speaker 2At least it's a huge chunk of this movie that is just shot in green night vision For no reason. No one is wearing night vision, nope, other than the camera. Yeah, I thought maybe in your research you turned something up on what the point of this is Nope.
Speaker 1They wanted to shoot it all for a dollar, I don't know.
Speaker 2Maybe they ran out of money, I don't know.
Speaker 1They were like we're out of money, let's just shoot this scene on the iPhone. Okay, and it's a big scene.
Speaker 2It's a lot of the movie. It's very weird. I love it, by the way.
Speaker 1So they're chased by Jeeps that falls down a thing. Then they're chased by an airplane. Yeah, so they're a big airplane. How much do you think? I don't even know how much an airplane that big costs. It's got to be millions of dollars, right, I would assume. Yeah, so they literally land an airplane and chase them around the desert with this airplane and then eventually are able to relaunch that airplane out in this thing somehow. It's a good airplane. And then this is so bad. So our guys are trying to escape across the border. And you know your classic if we get across the border, nothing can stop us, we're fine.
Speaker 2Yeah, which I don't. You think these people are worried about jurisdiction, like what's going on here.
Speaker 1Do you think they can't just call somebody in the next, the next, the gangsters Not only.
Speaker 2I know that they can't, because they say at the end of this scene don't worry about the border patrol, tip them more so they don't say anything, or something like that. So they already have border patrol in their pocket. So it wouldn't have mattered even if they made it to the border, as far as I can tell.
Speaker 1So why did they kill? So they're trying to get across this bridge. They put up the bridge and then they shoot the motorcycle first and they crash. But it didn't actually shoot the motorcycle. So LL Cool J could get back on the motorcycle. He's going to go for it and Chris Klein's like just leave me behind, even though he's completely uninjured.
Speaker 2Yeah, he's totally fine.
Speaker 1And he makes the jump and then they shoot LL Cool J and then they kill him.
Speaker 2I guess I assumed he was going to come back. Oh, really, jay. And then they kill him. I guess I assumed he was going to come back. Oh, because this was a pretty unceremonious death to me. Like it's far away, they shoot another rocket thing and then it just the bike falls over. The border patrol doesn't even react. There was an explosion 20 feet from the border, sure, and you're they just. They just kind of look at it like what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1yeah, it's just a tuesday night because they're on the phone with the. With look at it and they're like, well, what are you going to do Just a Tuesday night Because they're on the phone with them.
Speaker 2I guess, but they're not, because we do cut back to them, dan. And they're not on the phone, but I thought for sure he wasn't really dead. And he was going to come back and make an impact at the end of the movie.
Speaker 1And I was sorely mistaken.
Speaker 2No, I knew he was dead. Was it because of Chris Klein's really good acting in this scene that you know this death is real?
Speaker 1I think LL Cool J was just sick of this movie and he's just like man I got to peace out One day.
Speaker 2he just walked off set and never came back.
Speaker 1Okay, so, petrovich, they take him back there, petrovich, he's got like a couple little tiny cuts on him, Petrovich.
Speaker 2From gravel probably.
Speaker 1Okay, I give you all the money in the world, which is $100,000 US Right $100,000. Usd.
Speaker 2Oh boy, what a treat.
Speaker 1Wait, does he say to go fuck yourself? Yeah, okay, this is.
Speaker 2Wait, does he say, to go fuck yourself. Yeah, okay, so we got to talk about this. Oh, this is on the plane.
Speaker 1We're on the plane. He's like I'll give you $100,000. Then they start opening the big door of the plane while it's flying.
Speaker 2Yeah, to drop him out, right. Yeah, throw him out Because he's mad at him now. Yeah, so this conversation Is this. Oh no, it comes later. You're right, we'll save it.
Speaker 1They're going to throw him out the back and then they don't.
Speaker 2Yeah Well, I think someone Pulls him off of him Again. It's like this guy's move is just to like Get really angry.
Speaker 1But doesn't really mean it.
Speaker 2And it doesn't really do anything. I think he's all bark no bite. You know what?
Speaker 1I mean Sure.
Speaker 2I don't know, because he never does any of the killing. Oh, no, no.
Speaker 1Naveen goes over there and says to him have you thought about the girl? We can get the girl. We know you love the girl.
Speaker 2Right, girl, we know you love the girl. That's the turn.
Speaker 1Sorry about that.
Speaker 2Real quickly. We got to talk about the chase scene again for just one second. They drive through a barbed wire fence, Do they? Okay? Do you remember this? They drive through a barbed wire fence. I only remember this because I had subtitles on. They drive through a barbed wire fence and there's a sound effect.
Speaker 1Did the subtitles say sound of driving through barbed wire fence? Wait, there's a sound effect. The subtitles say sound of driving through barbed wire fence.
Speaker 2No, the exact quote is it's the parentheses because it's a sound effect and it says wire twang. That's the name of the sound.
Speaker 1That's exactly the sound it makes.
Speaker 2It's a bing as they drive through a fence. It is wild. There's a couple of really weird sound effects in this movie.
Speaker 1There's like a that's not a weird sound effect, that's the noise it would make man.
Speaker 2I need you to go back and watch it. Maybe I'll cut it into this episode right now. Okay, it's ridiculous. It's like it's not what it would sound like. It's not even close. It's like someone has just one of those old keyboards that has sound effects on it uh, it was, it was nuts, it was wild. I'm sorry, I just wrote it down.
Speaker 1The the wire twang in quotes and I just wanted to bring it up so jonathan I guess it's the next day he's like I'm gonna go in there and I'm going to make more demands. I want ownership.
Speaker 2Okay, this is the conversation I want to talk about, because this is what he says. Chris goes you can keep your 100K, I want ownership, right? So he's not keeping the 100k. That's a weird way to preface that. Normally it would be like keep the 100k, I just want to make sure my wife is safe or my girlfriend is safe. That sentence makes sense. But saying keep your 100k and give me 8 million, that doesn't make any sense. But but yeah, he wants ownership rights, he wants him to get rid of Aurora, but not kill her, but not kill her.
Speaker 2He's wanted something else too, like something about the venue, I don't know. Oh yeah, something stupid, yeah, something very stupid. I just thought it was really funny, because he's like keep your 100K but give me all this other money that I want instead.
Speaker 1So his big plan is he's going to trade Aurora to the Horde who they play tonight. Thank God.
Speaker 2We're almost through it.
Rules and Norms in Rollerball
Speaker 1The team is pissed. This is the final. Aurora sees the Aurora's in the locker room. On the other side she sees the special sharp weapon that they're going to use against him.
Speaker 2Yeah, does it go on a helmet?
Speaker 1No, it's a scoop that you pick up the ball with, but we haven't seen anyone use a scoop In the movie, have we?
Speaker 2No, of course not. Of course not.
Speaker 1Why would you? I'm going to tell you something about the original rollerball and why it was so good, please Okay. They wore leather gloves and then on the leather gloves, right up here, there was metal spikes. Oh shit, yeah, that's very dangerous. And back then nobody had knowledge or access about weapons like that. Sure, when we were kids and we heard about shuriken, japanese throwing stars, we were just like, oh my God, that's the most incredible thing that ever existed, ever existed you know.
Speaker 1I mean now we have access to all sorts of stuff. Kids know about all sorts of crazy shit because they, you know they probably have all that shit in Fortnite. And you know kids probably know every gun that's ever created and every mine and bomb. You know they get that. But back then you put some spiky things on a glove, you know you talk about brass knuckles. We're like brass knuckles oh my God, what does that mean? What an innocent time, yeah.
Speaker 2I mean, it was different.
Speaker 1And you know, you have the poster. The poster, I think, is Jonathan with his fist up.
Speaker 2It is, I just didn't understand what it was. But yeah, that is what it is and they're punching people with that.
Speaker 1You're with that. You're like oh yeah, that means something. You know this? Yeah, scoop, that has a sharp blade. You're like this is not a lacrosse stick or a field hockey stick, but we haven't seen.
Speaker 2My problem is we haven't seen anyone else use it. Yeah, so how is it, even within the rules, for them to use this at all?
Speaker 1well, we also said it now that you're now your favorite guy in the movie the broadcaster is like the rule change there's no rules, no rules, there's no fouls, there's no penalties.
Speaker 2What rules?
Speaker 1Have we seen rules In the original rollerball? They penalize people. One person got put in the box in the first game, in the first match a woman got put in the box for fighting because a guy sexually harassed her.
Speaker 2That was a weird comment that we never talked about. He like grabs her butt on the on the rink, which has got to be against the rules. She turns around, starts beating them and then they they penalize her. Very weird, very weird moment.
Speaker 1That's how it always works, you get fouled, and then they call the foul on you well, sure, usually it's not sexual harassment, but yeah so okay, there we are boom, boom, boom, no fouls, no penalties, and then they're like, let's play the game. And then we kind of find out that all the minors are in the in the stands in the audience. Okay, we're to mobilize them at some point. They tie up Aurora up in the thing.
Speaker 2Which is super weird, right?
Speaker 1She never gets released, she never plays any part in the finale, the number three star is tied up and useless. Well, she goes and gets him.
Speaker 2Oh does she. Oh, she says something, she goes and gets him, and then she walks him out as they're chanting his name at the very end of the movie.
Speaker 1Oh, but she doesn't know, she doesn't do anything, doesn't do anything um, and then jonathan figures out that if he just watches where the cameras are, he knows where the attack is coming from yeah and then the attack comes and and they beat the shit out. Then there's just all this fighting. It's just boom, boom, boom and it's the worst fighting in any movie we've ever seen. It's bad fighting, it's not cool fighting Nothing cool Because it's just kind of happening.
Speaker 2What's interesting, not interesting. What's stupid is at one point he gets hit from behind.
Speaker 1That's stupid.
Speaker 2He gets hit from behind.
Speaker 1Yeah, and that's when they realize he's finally wearing his spine protection or whatever.
Speaker 2And one of the T-Mens goes holy shit, he's wearing the spine protection, but it doesn't. That's it. And then it never comes back. It doesn't do anything else. It was just that one time. Why what is going on? He knew shit was going to go down. He knew shit was going to go down. He knew shit was going to go down. And then, at one point, naveen says maybe we should stop this. It's getting out of hand. Is it getting out of hand? This is exactly what they wanted, wasn't this the?
Speaker 1plan. Then at a certain point they cut the feed and they turn off the feed. Yeah, what they don't stop anything.
Speaker 2Point, they cut the feed and they turn off the feed. Yeah what? They don't stop anything.
Speaker 1No, they don't stop anything. But why would you, of all the things to do, why would you cut the feed?
Speaker 2I don't know, because this was the plan. This is what we wanted. We want to kill Jonathan. It's actually going perfectly to plan. So I don't understand why people are like we got to stop this. This is not. I don't know. This is so weird.
Speaker 1They mobilize the miners. Then he gets shot. Then they begin to chant Jonathan.
Speaker 2Why did they shoot him? Because he was uh, he was rousing up the minors because he used to be a minor, like he got in on the glass and was like they're killing him, we gotta stop them. And then they just shoot him because how is? That not going to incite the minors more. That's the worst thing you could possibly do in that situation yeah, but that's what happens in all like prison movies.
Speaker 1You know, the guards are too cruel and then they realize at a certain point that they've been too cruel in front of people long enough. And then the one person like looks at them, and then the indian throws the sink through the thing and everyone can escape sure, yeah, that was very specific.
Speaker 2What movie is that cuckoo's nest? Okay, there you go. It's like this is definitely something that really happened because you just named things pretty accurately.
Speaker 1It's a little cuckoo's nest there, Tony.
Speaker 2A little cuckoo's nest. Here's my big overarching problem with the movie.
Speaker 1Everyone is there voluntarily.
Plot Development and Character Motivation
Speaker 2No, they can't get away. From who? What do you mean they can't get away Other than the one escape attempt by LL Cool J and our main guy? There's no imprisonment. They're living very lavish lifestyles. We don't delve into the fact that they are somehow being forced to be there. Yeah, that is true, and that's kind of the crux of the finale, when people are rising up against them. We need it, we need it for this movie to make sense and we just we gloss over it.
Speaker 1The problem is we shouldn't have that whole scene where they tried to escape. We should have. You need to. You need to entrap your people so that they have to stay within the confines until they're pushed too far. Yeah, if your people, so that they have to stay within the confines until they're pushed too far. If your people can just literally go and get on a motorcycle, well, at a certain point they're going to sneak out and get on a motorcycle and get away. The situation of a battered wife or something like that is it's 99% psychological. It's 99% psychological, it's 1%. I'm in control of the money, but the 99% is the belittling, the control. You know all the controlling behaviors that make it so that those people don't escape.
Speaker 2We never feel that. We never feel like they're trapped. I need to feel like Chris Klein got himself in over his head and he's trapped and he's trying to figure out what to do.
Speaker 1And that the bad guys really have all the control yeah, you know, don't seem to.
Speaker 2I mean, I know he, you know, gene, what's his name? Gene jean jean reno. Jean reno, he gives that really wonderful speech about how he, like, owns the people that own things, or something I, I own the men that own the minds Right yeah. Like I don't have to own the mind because I own the men that own the minds. That's great. I don't know what that means really, and there's no, there's. There's no demonstration of it in the movie. Yeah, he needs to do some shit in this movie for me to feel it.
Speaker 1You know, in in real movies what you do is you have those inflection points and it's generally a fair, not inflection points but you have those things where it's like you hand him a picture of his sister, you're like there's a picture of his sister, I was listening to this podcast this morning about the FBI. It's fucking crazy. In 1970, in 1971, they discovered these people stole a bunch of documents from the fbi and they found out just how many people the fbi were surveilling, right.
Speaker 1So they started giving this to this, this reporter, and then she started reporting on it and it fucking blew up. Everything blew up j, ed of course it was insane but at a certain point she like, picked up her phone to make a call and there was a guy on the other end of her phone. This is in the 70s, right yeah where your phone you just picked up. You don't know what, yeah, and he's like who are you trying to call?
Speaker 2why are you trying to call them? What do you talk?
Speaker 1How are you on my phone right now? He's just like you know that's intimidation, where you're like I don't have control of my life. And oh, that was the other thing the dudes. This other guy came up to her and said you've been getting this stuff in the mail. You've also been getting mail from your mom who lives in dot dot, dot, dot, dot dot. You know he's like. He didn't say we're going to go kill your mom, what?
Speaker 2he said, was but the implication.
Speaker 1I know exactly where your mom lives. We know exactly where your mom lives period. So think about that Just think about that before you do anything. Think about how you want to. You know, and that's what you have to. This guy has to have that power. He just has some guys in a car that are going to shoot you with missiles, with some sort of weird missile.
Speaker 2Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1If you kill me, I'm gone. That's not. Here's the question, Dan.
Speaker 2Why didn't LL Cool J zig and zag on the motorcycle?
Speaker 1Why is he driving in?
Speaker 2a straight line after he just got shot with a rocket. You think they're done shooting.
Speaker 1They just got shot with a rocket. More importantly, done shooting they just they just got shot with a rocket. Why isn't there any effect from being shot by a rocket? Jonathan, you go on without me, but there's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing wrong with the motorcycle maybe they can't make the jump with him on there, I don't know?
Speaker 2well, that's what they said. They're not going to make it with two people, but I don't know. Still it's, it's V-Dump, v-dump.
Speaker 1So he jumps over the glass, he kills Petrovich, then he goes down and Naveen's like oh, now I'm in charge. And then he kills Naveen.
Speaker 2I didn't understand that part of it. You want me to explain it to you. I can explain it to you.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, please explain it to me what's supposed to happen is Devine's like okay, bro, how about I make you an owner? And he's like okay, and then he becomes an owner and they live happily ever after. That was one of the. They shot that. And then they're like no, it's got to be more dystopian. Jonathan has to lead the rebellion of the miners against the plutocrats the rebellion of the miners against the plutocrats.
Speaker 2You're like really too bad, because I actually like that ending better, where he's like or we can keep going and you can just have even more money, and he's like, all right, fuck it, let's, let's do it.
Speaker 1I'm morally gray, let's do that I mean, if you just set up a real character he could have, he could have had to deal with that and he might make that choice, and that's a choice that a lot of people make every day.
Speaker 2Amen to that.
Speaker 1Oh, this movie man. And now he's God. He's now God Because he started the revolution.
Speaker 2Now he starts the revolution.
Speaker 1And then the movie just ends right, no rob zombie song. Okay, sure, sure that I'm sure. If you read the lyrics of that, you'd know exactly what was happening, exactly what happens in the movie from here on out pretty much because he can't go back home.
Speaker 2Right, he's wanted for murder possibly.
Speaker 1It's almost like a thing that someone could have said at some point.
Speaker 2I don't know. And what are the miners going to do? They're going to overthrow these rich people, but someone sells to do the. How are they going to make money?
Speaker 1I don't know. There's a movie called Lawrence of Arabia. I know you've never seen it because it's one of the greatest movies ever made. It's from the 1300s.
Speaker 2I can't.
Movie Critique and Olympic Breakdancing
Speaker 1And he leads the tribal people across the desert and then they take over the I think they take over Aqaba and then, like, the next scene is the nightmare of them being in control of the power. Oh, interesting, that's really interesting they show you what a fucking nightmare that is, because they're trying to get the phones running and they're trying to figure out money and they're trying to put a provisional government in charge and they're all feuding and it's like you gotta sort of.
Speaker 1You know you have to sort of what. What does this mean that he's in charge of the revolution?
Speaker 2What this guy? I have no idea. I got nothing. I don't think it's going to go very well.
Speaker 1Let me just say that Lots of people are going to die. That's why it's better to have him sell out and you're like everybody sells out. In the end or they die. Amen to that, I'll sell out right now, but at the end of the real rollerball you know he lives and he is more powerful and you're like the corporations are going to have to figure something. The fuck out.
Speaker 2Yeah, which makes sense. Yeah, Alright, yeah, I'd like to watch it. I'd like to watch it.
Speaker 1You should watch it, it's interesting.
Speaker 2Last thing I want to say Rollerball, the end of this movie. Yeah, he asks Rebecca Romijn what she's going to do or something, what are you going to do now? And she gets to say the line I thought I might take you home to my bed, a great callback to him wanting to have sex in a bed instead of whatever. They're having sex on A sauna. I don't remember exactly what they're doing. They're at the gym, I don't know. And then we get a wonderful freeze frame on Chris Klein's smile and I was just thinking to myself we don't do the freeze frame anymore and I kind of miss it. You know, you know the end of what's that school movie where he's like thanks frame on the fist bump.
Speaker 2Uh, judd, uh, judd, nelson yeah, yeah, yeah, great stuff, breakfast great stuff, but I just miss it don't you forget about me, don't yeah? Yeah, breakfast club. Geez, I'm getting so old, I can't, I can't remember things. Does it get worse? Like, I have a problem pulling things. I can think around them, but I have a hard time pulling things.
Speaker 1Yep, that's what you have to do. It's like 17 Shades of Kevin Bacon. You're like, you know the guy that was in the movie that started the thing. That was about the dog who had three heads and you're like what's his name? And then three hours later you just be like Kevin Kline.
Speaker 2You're like oh, it's Kevin Kline, I've got it. Oh boy, I'm in for a rough road, you know.
Speaker 1Shannon was like we got that fly in here now and I'm like fly, what are you talking about? Fly? And she's like I told you about the fly like an hour ago and what she said was, there was a fly on the rice.
Speaker 1There's a fly in here while she was closing up the rice and I was like, oh my God, there's a fly walking on the rice Right. So in my mind I was just thinking about this one fly walking on there. The truth of the matter she's just saying there's a fly flying around in here.
Speaker 2There's a fly in the house.
Speaker 1She's protecting the rice, and so in my mind I just conjured this image of this fly walking on rice.
Speaker 2You did your own thing in here. I'm filling in some blanks.
Speaker 1I thought the problem was that a fly had touched rice, the true problem is there's a fly flying around in here and it's going to be an asshole.
Speaker 2Yeah, they do that. They do that from time to time. This movie sucked. Yeah, this movie's bad man. I had a good time.
Speaker 1I watched the beginning and I'm like, oh, I remember all this, I've seen this movie. And then at a certain point I'm like, yeah, I turned it off. I must have, because this is not familiar at all. I did not see the night vision chase or the ending or any of that stuff.
Speaker 2Oh my God, it's so bizarre.
Speaker 1The night vision chase is just like that is a decision that someone makes and someone really needed to tell them that that's a terrible idea.
Speaker 2It's great. It's a terrible idea. It's great, it's a great movie. Don't watch it. This is one of those ones that I don't recommend you watch.
Speaker 1No, this one's not a lot here to unpack or to deal with. Now we talk about something we like. This week we were watching a lot of Olympics. Breakdancing is on today. It's pretty great. Did it start yesterday or does it start today? The girls was yesterday and the girls were fun.
Olympics, Rebel Moon Director's Cut
Speaker 1The guys are today and I it's probably just about ending. But the sad thing is there was this one australian girl who was not great and now everybody's like dragging her on the internet. Like look at this kid, she's not the greatest thing ever you know, says the incel sitting in there.
Speaker 2Yeah, and you're just like Stupid pieces of shit. She's in the Olympics, fucking idiots.
Speaker 1You know, if the best you know, and that's the whole thing In the olden days, right, you had the Jamaican bobsled team and we were all like go Jamaican bobsled team. They were terrible. Ter Jamaican bobsled team. They were terrible as I remember it. They didn't stand a chance in hell of getting a medal, but you're like, well, good for them putting it together and getting there and living their dream. And you're like she's living her dream, but everyone's like good enough.
Speaker 2You're so bad at everything. Yeah, we're the worst. The society is awful.
Speaker 1We are terrible, terrible. You need to spend your time tearing down somebody you know it's like she was not great because that's how they, the only way they, feel better about themselves, because their life is awful. I you know I pretty much think that's the case. So, uh, but lots of it.
Speaker 2We're watching the rhythmic gymnastics, which was great yeah, a lot of good, a lot of fun stuff.
Speaker 1You know, you get sucked in. You're like oh, it's 5,000-meter men's, and 15 minutes later you're like that was the most exciting race I've ever seen in my life. That's what the Olympics does to you. And then you're like when it's over, you're like I will never watch any of these sports again for four years.
Speaker 2But the next time you do, they're going to be here.
Speaker 1LA, Tom Cruise is going to be in church. Oh yeah, Shannon thinks that the reason why Tom Cruise is at every Olympic thing is that he's going to be like the guy that announces, you know?
Speaker 2Well, you know Tom's going to be involved. Snoop will be involved, for sure. You know Flavor Flav will be involved in some capacity.
Speaker 1Flavor Flav sponsored the girls water polo team.
Speaker 2Yeah, I love that. It's awesome. That's the greatest thing ever. Also watched water polo for the first time maybe in my life, and I don't understand it. I don't understand the rules at all. They're just whipping balls at each other. It seems crazy, Water polo.
Speaker 1I love water polo. I don't think we saw any water polo. I love it. I usually watch it. Yeah, it's fun. It's great. We watch the women's. I like all the women's sports better than the men's sports typically.
Speaker 2Sure Did we. I think women's just won soccer. Yeah, I think they just won think they just won. Uh, yeah, they were up one zero and yeah, I think that's how it ended.
Speaker 1I think I got an update on my phone, I think it was. They were at. They were in stoppage time, 10 minutes it was.
Speaker 2They were at eight and a half minutes, so all they had to do is hold on for another 90 seconds, and then they well, I think they did, I think they got that big gold.
Speaker 1Well, good, good, good good what do you got for us, tony? It's gonna going to be something stupid.
Speaker 2It is going to be something stupid, dan, also watching the Olympics, also having a great time. But you may or may not remember this, but a little indie film called Rebel Moon dropped the director's cut, so I spent seven hours this week watching the director's cuts of those movies. Oh, you watched both of them. I sure did, dan.
Speaker 1I was going to do a whole joke where I was gonna say that we're gonna watch those for the move thing next time.
Speaker 2So it's not worth it. No, it's gonna be a joke.
Speaker 1I'm just gonna tell you that right now it's gonna be a joke and then I was gonna be like, no, I'm not watching those movies.
Speaker 2Well, I did. It took one for the team and here's what I'm going to say.
Speaker 2Okay, give us the review, tony. Does it make it a cooler movie? Yes, okay, does it make it a better movie? Not even a little bit. All of the problems are still there, dan Sure, of course, all of the script is awful. The story's stupid. Some of the acting is terrible. You can't fix that with just with just adding more. Now there's just more shitty dialogue and more backstory. I don't give a shit about, but I will say adding back the r rating. The. The fight scenes are way cooler oh, okay, like there's some head explosions.
Speaker 2There's some like a guy gets a thing right through the thing, like there's some cool shit that happens. Sure, that was sorely lacking in the first one, but it doesn't fix anything, sure, it just makes it more fun to watch a piece of shit movie, that's all. Oh, also, there's boobs now. So, like you know, like, is there sex or is it just some boobs? There is some sex. I think there's two sexes, maybe three. I think there's two. Cora definitely has sex in the beginning of the movie when they're having the harvest Really Okay, and it's gratuitous. Just all her. It's almost uncomfortable. Who is she having sex with Her?
Speaker 1hunter boyfriend, the farmer dude.
Speaker 2Oh, okay, yeah, the farmer that ends up dying, yeah, okay. And then she has sex with Gunner later, when they're in the second one, when they're having that fire pit meeting Sure, awful, I mean, they're not good. The problem is they're not good sex scenes, right, um, I don't know, I would remove those again. Those are unnecessary, um, and they just distract and make it weird but the violence is great.
Speaker 1Why would these movies? Why would these?
Speaker 2movies have sex scenes. Why did I have absolutely no idea? It's super weird. So the harvest becomes the. I can't sindri the leader of the, the farming people, in the beginning. He gives like a really nice speech in the first one about how they, like you know, celebrate the harvest. We did a great job. In this one they add back all this stuff where basically he just wants everyone to have sex. He's screaming fuck for the harvest, fuck for the grain. And I was like what is happening? Why is he screaming go have sex. It's super weird.
Speaker 2And then they do, and then they do go have sex. It's a completely different movie. Some parts are, but then some parts are exactly the same. No, and it doesn't make it make more sense.
Speaker 1Like what? He must be angry. There's something going on there, you know. Like you know, I'm a fan of Barbarella. That movie's freaking great and it's a very sexy movie, and you know.
Speaker 2Very sexy movie.
Speaker 1And you're like you know Every other scene she'd take, you know Different sex costumes and you know sexy movie, sexy movie. And you're like you know every, every other scene she'd take. You know different sex costumes and you're like great, that's what that movie is. It's based on a based on a comic book. That was like that that's the movie you made, but rebel moon, like there's no reason to have.
Speaker 2Yep, it's absolutely bonkers. It doesn't make sense as a community. It doesn't make sense in the movie. It's super weird, I don't know. I love it, but again, the action scenes are cooler. It's still way too much slow-mo. There's even more now. Is there more of the robot? There is more of the robot, and it turns out it doesn't help, it's just more of him. Pontificating doesn't help. Uh, it's just more of him pontificating. Yeah, like there's no, there's no more um character development, sure, and there's no, there's no added action, it's just him in a wheat field. A bunch of times like and then I look at the stars and I remember the young girl and I don't care, I just don't care oh dear um yeah, I don't know well there it is this is the point at which we say feel free to like and subscribe and leave a.
Speaker 2Leave a comment there was a time when you were two or three times. You put it at the top of the show and I I bet it helped. I bet we should. We should look at those numbers of the episodes that you did earlier and see if anybody did it no, the ones we do good, do it you know, like we got some.
Speaker 1We got a little bit of traction on um. We should look at those numbers of the episodes that you did earlier and see if anybody did it. No, the ones we do, good, they didn't do it. You know, like we got a little bit of traction on John Carter, sure, and we got four likes and only one dislike, which is pretty good. I thought we were going to go 50-50 on that one.
Speaker 2Sure, I could go dislike it if you want, just to help your ego a little.
Speaker 1So we need a new movie. I need to pick the movie.
Speaker 2Yeah, you get to pick. What do you got I?
Speaker 1was rooting around. I was like you know.
Speaker 2Rooting around.
Speaker 1We got Will Smith with iRobot. Still got to do that one.
Speaker 2Oh, yeah, yeah, Okay okay.
Speaker 1I saw that movie at one point, so I need a little more time to forget it even more.
Speaker 2Okay, sure, sure. I really want to get it out of my mind and start fresh.
Speaker 1So you know I was thinking, you know I was like you know what's Bradley Cooper's worst movie? There's Limitless.
Speaker 2But it kind of had some positive reviews and it spun off a wonderful TV show that got canceled after one season. But I just rewatched it recently and I love it. Is the movie good? No, I didn't like the movie very much. I like the show. So the movie is like stupid and all about him being like super smart or whatever. Right, yeah, but the show turns into a cop procedural Sure. So they use the drugs. A new guy gets the drugs, who I love, he's from Greek, anyhow, he gets the drugs and he's super smart and helps the cops like solve crimes. Sure, that's a brilliant way to use that premise.
Speaker 1Yeah, anyhow, sorry so, you know, I kept looking, you know, looking for some of our, our best people, and then I I was like yeah, what about nicholas?
Speaker 2cage.
Speaker 1I mean there's a plethora of movies to choose from for good old Nick and I found one and it's called the Knowing.
Speaker 2The Knowing yeah, I saw this opening night at midnight as well. I remember it vividly.
Speaker 1Is this the one like he knows the future or something, and the kids? There's a nuclear war or something's coming. I don't know. You don't have to tell me. I'm trying to think if I saw some of this one or didn't see it, I don't know. But we're going to watch the whole damn thing this time and see what it's all about. I love it. Okay, there it is. He loves it. Tony loves it. Tony loves it everybody.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean, I think who's the lady in it? I feel like I like his wife in it too. Somebody real? Is it Rose Byrne Could be. We'll find out next week, we'll find out. I don't need to know right now. We'll find out next week.
Speaker 1You'll be knowing soon enough, tony, hey, so.
Speaker 2All I remember, dan, yeah, is it has something to do with a time capsule? Yeah, I remember that, because it was around the time that we planted our own time capsules for school. Oh, okay, cool, um, and we never dug them back up.
Speaker 1You're supposed to dig them back up, but we didn't do it no, you probably didn't seal them well enough that moisture probably destroyed them, so it doesn't really matter.
Speaker 2You don't think I sealed something. I'm a great, I'm a canner. No, you're not making pickles. Are you really making pickles? No, I would do. You want me to make you some pickles? I'll make you some pickles. Do you like spicy pickles or just like dilly?
Speaker 1I. I've gone through dill pickles cycles in my life and also sweet pickle cycle. I was a big sweet pickle kid okay interesting all right, I'm a dill guy all the way used to have the sweet pickle in the in a bag in the lunch. Yeah, you know, in a plastic bag?
Speaker 2no, I do not know what you're saying. What do you mean in a bag?
Speaker 1you put it in like a ziploc bag and then you put it in your lunch. So you have a pickle you're so cute and then I definitely went through a phase where you'd go and they'd have the pickle in the bag in the brine and you'd buy that for a dollar.
Speaker 2Yes, and State Fair still does nice whole pickles oh.
Speaker 1God, I hate zucchini more than anything in the world.
Speaker 2Oh, no, really yeah.
Speaker 1Isn't that what they?
Speaker 2make.
Speaker 1No cucumbers.
Speaker 2I hate cucumbers, cucumbers and zucchinis Interesting. I love cucumber. Oh okay, big fan, you know it's nice, like a nice slice of cucumber in your water. No, it's disgusting, it's horrible.
Speaker 1It's like one of those things I always love. These Celery doesn't taste like anything. I'm like. It most definitely tastes like something.
Speaker 2Do you not like celery? Oh God, no, have you done?
Speaker 1ants on a log. No, I hate celery. I hate the flavor.
Speaker 2But have you tried it with peanut butter and raisins? Doesn't matter.
Speaker 1It has that flavor Like if I have potato salad and I bite into a piece of celery in my potato salad, I lose my mind. I lose my mind.
Speaker 2I just imagine you flipping a picnic table, getting all mad. Yeah, I like I will pick. I do love a nice potato salad.
Speaker 1I'll pick through my potato salad to make sure there is no celery in there. Wow.
Speaker 2Okay, well, that's a good, I'll write that down. So if I ever make potate salad for when we go camping, I'll make sure there's no celery in it. I hate camping. You can't hate camping. There's so many different ways to camp, dan. We can find a way that you like Glamping maybe. Okay, dan, look at me, do I look like a guy that's going to go camping and it's going to be slumming it? That's true. No, no, I'm going to glamp. At the least. You are an ants on the log person. I love ants on the log, you know, it's just a childhood thing.
Speaker 1How are the ants doing over in your place, Tony?
Speaker 2They're terrible. They're fucking everywhere. We are living in a nightmare hellscape. I don't even know Where's a lot of bugs. I don't know. Okay, I don't even know Where's a lot of bugs?
Speaker 1I don't know. I have rollerball. Okay, well, we better end this one, or we could go on forever.
Speaker 2Yeah, we'll pack it up. Pack it up. What are we watching next week? The Knowing, the Knowing. Thank you, nicolas Cage. I remember Nicolas.
Speaker 1Cage. We'll see you later. Bye-bye, Bye everybody. Hey, watch it.
Speaker 2With Dan and Tony. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. It's like watching, yeah.