Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Solarbabies
What happens when you combine "Mad Max" with roller-skating orphans and a dash of Mel Brooks' production magic? You get the 1986 cult classic "Solar Babies," a movie so bizarre it had us questioning everything from the logic of "skateball" to the mystifyingly named characters. We kick off this roller-coaster critique with some laughs about a painful hike and sunburns, setting the stage for our deep dive into the chaotic creation and puzzling narrative of this curious film. It's a blend of missed opportunities and hilarious missteps, all set in a world where misfit kids try to escape their captors through the power of... roller skates?
In our detailed breakdown, we examine the lack of character development, the strange setting of an orphanage filled with amnesiac kids, and Jason Patrick's inexplicable awkwardness in a rain scene. We even explore the potential of "skateball" as a sport and the baffling setting of Tire Town. From the bridge crossing and Chikani camp attack to the magical elements and characters like "Darstar," we leave no stone unturned as we humorously critique these scenes. Mel Brooks' involvement and the film's many chaotic elements spark a lively discussion on what could have been if only the movie had a coherent vision.
Finally, we take on the film's confusing themes and unresolved questions. Why does Jason Patrick struggle to experience joy? What's the deal with Charles Durning's role as the warden? And how did a movie with such a promising concept end up so scattered and nonsensical? We also share thoughts on other sci-fi movies and our plans to revisit the classic "Rollerball." Join us for a fun, entertaining, and sometimes baffling critique of "Solar Babies," a film that's as unique as it is perplexing.
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I feel terrible. My foot hurts, dan. I messed it up. We went on this hike. That was 18 miles straight up, I think, give or take, and I thought I was going to die. I thought I was going to die, dan. Can you see my sunburn? Yeah, my leg's been. I was wearing sunglasses, so I have like a sunburn line. I don't know if you can tell.
Speaker 2:You look pasty as ever.
Speaker 1:You, son of a bitch. How dare you?
Speaker 2:Minnesota pasty.
Speaker 1:Minnesota pale.
Speaker 2:Oh, welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan, I'm Tony, and on this show I think this is the part where I do the this show.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is always the part. Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 2:We watch a movie and this week I got to pick a movie and I picked the movie Solar Babies, which I only had a very cursory knowledge you did I mean I'd never heard of this before.
Speaker 1:I have never heard of this movie. You when you, when you brought it up, I had I had we had to go to imdb because I was like this is not a movie but it is and it's great and I'm sorry I haven't seen it sooner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Solar Babies, 1986, hour and 34 minutes, Starring people that don't really seem to star in the movie. It's more just a movie about the things that happen to a set bunch of characters. There's no characterization, there's not much.
Speaker 1:You don't need it With this. This much roller skating. You don't need characters, baby, this is cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's sort of Mad Max meets Starlight Express. That's probably it.
Speaker 1:Those two things. Let's take a time out and take a step back. Because what is Starlight Express, dan Goodsell? I've never heard of that before either.
Speaker 2:Starlight Express. I think it might be Andrew Lloyd Webber, but it's a stage play where they wore colorful outfits and did a lot of skating.
Speaker 1:That sounds terrible as an actor. That sounds like a horrible show to be in. Terrible as an actor. That sounds like a horrible show to be in.
Speaker 2:I think that they cast the people based on their skill as opposed to their acting, oh sure.
Speaker 1:We didn't do that in this movie because there are some scenes where we see these actors trying to roller skate and it's not great, it's tough.
Speaker 2:If we want to go back to I don't know if we talked about this on the last episode, where we talked about Shannon being in school with Jason Patrick, she said he tried out for lots of sports but he wasn't really good at any of them. Oh, interesting.
Speaker 1:No, you did not say that last week, okay, okay, oh man, that surprises me a little bit. Just based on his athletic stature, he looks like he should be good at sports, but he's also the weird loner guy, so I kind of get it. I feel like he's the guy that wants to be involved but also is too reserved to really get in there. It's interesting. What an interesting look into this guy's life who I've never met before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's, you know, post this movie is post-apocalyptic, but these kids that are ostensibly in an orphanage, a very open orphanage, an orphanage where you have to take sort of the weirdest orphanage ever. And they, and then they have so many kids in this orphanage ever and they um, and then there's so many kids in this orphanage there are like thousands of kids and they all seem to be kidnapped.
Speaker 1:Am I getting that right that they're all kidnapped children? Where are the parents of these children? Why are they not like fighting back? I don't understand. If it was like you know, a hundred kids that have been kidnapped, it's okay. Maybe they can't, you know, fight the empire, but this is thousands of kids with thousands of parents. No one is no one's rising up to fight this. It's weird. It's a strange setup.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's hundreds of kids, but certainly it felt like a lot more than hundreds of kids the hundreds of kids that ostensibly have been kidnapped.
Speaker 2:don't think that there's any place else in the world other than the orphanage, other than the fact that they say it.
Speaker 1:They're like you know the outside world, we came from somewhere, but there's nothing out there.
Speaker 2:It doesn't make sense in a brain, typically when you're kidnapped, you remember a time before and you're like oh, we lived in this forest or this city or this suburb or on a boat, but none of these kids can say, oh yeah, my mom was like. They all seem like they're kind of like truly no backstory. Well, let's talk a second about Solar babies produced by mel brooks oh, mel brooks I I.
Speaker 2:I saw his name pop up but I was like I'm not doing research on this movie basically, they sort of he sort of found this guy with this sort of treatment and then he was like this seems like a good idea, and so he sort of raised some money and then they got it going and I think they shot this whole movie in spain and it's a good gig I'd go shoot in spain for a couple weeks yeah, and you know the the guy shooting it didn't have any skill or knowledge, and so they brought in another director and then he was just shooting all sorts of random stuff, and so this whole movie is just sort of a conglomeration of random stuff and random influences, all sort of piled in a big pile that ended up being, you know, turned into a movie, sort of yeah, so here's the thing, dan I like the idea of the movie.
Speaker 1:Sure, I like it. I am confused. It's not fleshed out enough to make sense, right. But I love this idea of a misfit group of kids who are in some sort of you know jail captivity type of thing that rise up right. That's a classic storyline. I love the sport that they play. Yeah, this like lacrosse hockey, I call it lacrosse and I think it's great.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't understand why it's in the movie. It should have something more to do with the plot. Yes, because it doesn't, and if it did, I think that would be nice. It should have something more to do with the plot. Yes, because it doesn't, and if it did, I think that would be nice. It would be a really fun treat. But they play it once in the beginning and then like once a little bit later and then never again. I don't understand why they're playing the sport. It doesn't have anything to do with why they're in captivity. Nope, it doesn't have anything to do with joining. They're in captivity. Nope, it doesn't have anything to do with joining the E-Squad. What are they called the E-Police?
Speaker 2:The E-Police yeah.
Speaker 1:The E-Police? That doesn't seem, because those guys don't seem to be on roller skates. Those guys seem to be walking around, living their lives killing kids. So I don't understand the sport. I want to understand it. That's the problem. I want it to matter because it's cool.
Speaker 2:Well, you also have at this time period. You have Rollerball a few years before this. Yeah, james Caan, killing the game, absolutely Probably 14 years before this. But yeah, I mean, this movie is just like well, what else can we? You know, what do we do in a future movie? Well, we do a sport, we do kids, we do roller, you know, just everything can be thrown into this big pot. And then they just sort of let it happen.
Speaker 1:Well, they're missing the part where they have to bring those elements together. You know they're like they look at other movies and they're like okay, this works here, this works here, let's do those things. But you have to create the web, there has to be the connective tissue, because, again, I think it would be cool. What do they call it? Skateball? Is that what they call it? I think they call it skateball. That's a cool sport.
Speaker 1:If this movie is better, that sport takes off, I'm telling you right now people would use lacrosse sticks on roller skates and they would play the shit out of this game. But the movie sucks. The sport doesn't make sense in it, so it never took off.
Speaker 2:I think they missed a real opportunity here they did, they did and that, and that's what sort of makes this movie both in dear. You know it's terrible but it's also endearing because at least they like let's throw all these things and they're kind of weird and and then when it's over you're going to be like, well, that didn't, didn't work and then move on to the next, but you don't get you, don't get you. Know, it's not like, uh, what you call it, uh battlefield earth, where you get you through it and you're just like I hate these people, you know these people should be One of them in the face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't ever make movies.
Speaker 2:These were just like people with bad ideas that they thought were good ideas. The people that had these ideas, I don't think that they thought they were the greatest ideas ever. They were just like, well, I had some ideas, here they are. Here are some ideas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me write down some ideas and we'll use some of them. I don't know.
Speaker 2:You know, you get to Tire Town and you're like well, that is Tire.
Speaker 1:Town.
Speaker 2:Oh Tire Town.
Speaker 1:They're melting down tires to get water or tar or something. I do not understand what they're doing. I don't know. Where Is it oil? No, I don't know. I have no idea what they're making. I don't know, I don't know. I have no idea what they're making. I don't know, I don't know what they're making. I don't know why they're making it and I don't know why they're getting paid in water.
Speaker 2:Those are the things. I don't understand how they're standing in line and then they their their work is like you know then they come out. So all you have to do is stand in line and do something, and then it's not like you work eight hours.
Speaker 1:Nope, you just do one thing.
Speaker 2:You ring a bell. Yeah, that's your work, you're done.
Speaker 1:It doesn't seem that bad is all I'm saying. I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, Not the worst thing ever. So we start the titles. There's like this fanfare and I'm like, oh yeah, this music is going to be terrible.
Speaker 1:And then it's terrible and and I'm like oh yeah, this music is going to be terrible.
Speaker 2:And then, it's terrible, and then it is. It's Maurice Jarret who's like? Jean-michael Jarret's brother, I think, and he's like a real composer.
Speaker 1:Which one, the brother or the one that did this movie, both, both Okay, I mean, if you look at Maurice Jarret, I'm sure you will see a very long list of movies that he scored, and this score is particularly terrible.
Speaker 1:So you're saying Maurice is the one that did this movie. Yeah, Maurice did Lawrence of Arabia, Dr Zhivago and then a bunch of other old movies that I the Message, A Passage to India, I'm sure those were great. The Witness with Harrison Ford, I mean this guy does some good stuff I think it was the one that did this and Solar Babies.
Speaker 2:And he did Solar Babies. And you're just like he must have knocked this out in a weekend. You know, just like you know, he's on the emulator, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. There you go.
Speaker 1:He'll be like print, send it over. I don't care about anything.
Speaker 2:We can't pay you much. It's a freebie. I owe you one, Mel Brooks.
Speaker 1:This one you get for free, I don't care about anything right now, you're fine.
Speaker 2:His 14-year-old child maybe did it and he's like, yeah, well, I'm going to charge you some money anyways, good enough. So I believe we live. You know we get the words. We live in the new time and I believe it's the year 41.
Speaker 1:41, just 41. Yep, here's where that concerns me is like, is still pretty fresh, year 41 of whatever happened. We haven't, it's not even been a generation, but the people there, the parents of these kids, still remember whatever the old world was. It's. It's weird because then we talk to the dad later and he doesn't seem to mention it. He's not like, oh well, the before time, when I was 30 years old and a fully grown adult. Still, it's super strange.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it definitely is not. You don't start at 41 with your movie, it's just. And if you do?
Speaker 1:we're still in the transition. Like you're telling me, in 41 years we've changed humanity entirely. I don't think so. There would still be things clinging to the past. She has one book. Come on, people would know books. You know what I mean. Like her parents would have told her stories of books.
Speaker 2:Books were outlawed in the orphanage.
Speaker 1:I mean we'll talk about that later because I got some problems with the kid. But it's fine, we'll put a pause on that. It's just weird there's no. 41 years is too soon to make it seem like nobody remembers the old world.
Speaker 2:And then we're at orphanage 43, so you're like you can't do it like that.
Speaker 1:You can't have a 41 and a 43.
Speaker 2:You know, you got to be like we're in orphanage seven, year 41, year 127, orphanage 9,000,. You know, whatever you can't have a 41 and a 43.
Speaker 1:Well, they build one a year, dan, you see, and they've started to ramp up.
Speaker 2:So they did two in the last year year and the orphanage is there to indoctrinate the children, which I don't think we see any indoctrination really a little, a little there's a little wreck skate time.
Speaker 1:We'll talk about it more, but the wreck skate time there's like videos join the e-police, you're be all you can be.
Speaker 2:You know that sort of thing so there, you know, it's the shades of uh starship troopers. You know that, uh, you know we get the fascist fascist culture. I mean that movie, as everyone has always said, that movie just holds up.
Speaker 1:Yeah just watch it, you're just like this is entertaining science fiction. I like everything about it there's no problems.
Speaker 2:And then and then, that's what's his name he went on to make lots of terrible movies right right, yeah, I think so the director of that, is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, maybe.
Speaker 2:So, then, we set up, in addition to everything, we have, a legend of an alien, bodai, that came or is going to free the waters.
Speaker 1:Now this is confusing again because again, we're year 41. So what kind of a legend? It's just more of a story that there's something out there, right, like 41 years isn't really long enough to be like, well, there's a legend of an ancient alien. Nope, it's just like someone saw something fall from the sky three years ago and we've all talked about what it is.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, see, I thought your thing that you'd be angry about was nobody. This is not a legend, because nobody knows it and nobody ever talks about it.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, you're right, that's right, the only person that knows the legend is the guy narrating the story, who, again, I don't know who that is who's narrating it to me and why? Who's telling me? This story I have no idea, but he's the only person that knows the legend. That's not a legend. The kids should be around a fire or playing rollerball, or sorry, what is it? Skateball at night.
Speaker 1:And they're like have you heard the legend of the orb that came down from the sky? You know like somebody has to say it in the movie.
Speaker 2:So they could have organically talked about the legend, and then we'd have had the legend, and then they would have been like, well, could this be the legend? And they're all like I don't know.
Speaker 1:Right, but no, instead, nobody knows the legend. Some guy, the kid, finds a ball and they're like what is this? Nobody knows what kind of a legend is that. Nobody knows it. And even when they find it, no one's like this reminds me of the legend. You could do it that way too. You could be like a remembering, like oh yeah, my parents told me of this legend, or some kids were talking about this legend, but nobody. Nobody knows it's not a legend. Just say an orb fell from the sky.
Speaker 2:End of story and that, but that would cause them to have to make decisions about what the deal with their parents really is.
Speaker 1:I would like to know, dan, it's year 41. I want to know what's going on with these parents.
Speaker 2:So, boom, now we're cutting into the movie, the actual beginning. We have a skating kid skate, skate, skate. The kids have flashlights glued to their on the front of the skates.
Speaker 1:How did this idea not catch on? This is brilliant. That's the night skating is so hard like. Uh, my sister wears one of those forehead lamps, you know, sure, and then, and then she has a backpack that has reflectors on. That's how she rollerblades at night, sometimes. Right, what if she had flashlights on the front of her skates? What a genius idea. I don't know how this didn't take off. This feels like a marketing genius move Because it looks terrible. Well, it does look stupid, you're right about that, but you can see where you're going.
Speaker 2:So more and more kids come together, you know, and then it turns out that we have two teams the scorpions which is a cool name and the solar babies not a cool name did they say solar babies more than three times in this movie?
Speaker 1:I don't think. So Did they.
Speaker 2:It's two to four, I would say.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, it's not too many. They say scorpions more than they say solar babies. There it is, I would wager.
Speaker 2:So this is the name of their team, our main characters, which is Tara Rabbit, jason Daniel Metron.
Speaker 1:Metron yeah, I don't know what that one means.
Speaker 2:Metron and.
Speaker 1:Tank. I feel like we're missing one.
Speaker 2:Tank Dom DeLuise's kid that never gets to say anything. I don't remember what his name is. He has a name too Wonderful. This is, in my opinion. You could. You could say things about John Carter. I'm like. Whatever, this is the worst named movie of all time.
Speaker 1:It's bad. It's bad. What's interesting to me, dan, is that in the movie they comment on what a weird name Solar Babies is for a skateboard team, but then that's also the name of the movie. So in the movie itself they're making fun of their own name. I don't understand. I don't. That's not meta, that's not cheeky, that's just dumb guys. If you know the name is dumb, change the name.
Speaker 2:Well, it's kind of like saying no in improv.
Speaker 1:You know, once you start doing it, but it's like saying no to your own line. Yes, instead of me yes-ending or knowing you. It's like I start my own line and I'm like you know what? That's a terrible idea. I'm going to change course right now, stupid.
Speaker 2:But not even change course. You're just going to negate what you said Just shut it down. You're just like hi.
Speaker 1:I'm this person. Actually I'm not okay, I'm gonna keep talking. You're like oh, what am I gonna do? I don't know what I'm doing. There goes the comedy such a weird choice.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I don't know what you call this movie, but that because this was like literally the only thing they had, sort of so no, I mean unfortunately, yes.
Speaker 1:Again, it has no bearing on the movie. Like the Solar Baby team, I guess, is what drives the force, but it has nothing to do with their skateboard team. No, If throughout the movie the team of kids would like high five to their names.
Speaker 2:Solar, babies Solar.
Speaker 1:Babies rule. You know, like if we made it more of a thing, I guess it would make sense. At least it's still terrible, right, it's an awful name. I don't think we can ever get over that, no, but at least it would make some sort of sense.
Speaker 2:But it's not about that they do do some teamwork things in this movie which you're like oh for sure, I can't wait to talk about the bridge scene.
Speaker 1:I cannot wait. How could you not help?
Speaker 2:but want to talk about the bridge scene Cannot wait, how could you not help but want to talk about the bridge scene? So basically they do a battle, they play a game which basically it's sort of roller derby, sort of roller ball. You just have to scoop up the ball and then put it in the thing in the center which I mean. Basically, this would be just them standing around the center, you know, trying to throw the ball in there.
Speaker 1:Well, no, because what happens, Dan, is that the propeller on the bottom shoots the ball in a different direction. I actually think this is a pretty cool game and I would play it.
Speaker 2:Well, they just needed to have a couple rules. Like you, have to take the ball three times.
Speaker 1:Oh, you want rules.
Speaker 1:Maybe take the ball three times, oh you want rules, maybe take the ball three times around the course, and then that's interesting, because that would be more of a roller derby aspect to it, which I like. I don't know if you know anything about youth football or youth lacrosse or things like that, but in youth lacrosse you need to make a certain amount of passes before you can shoot, because kids are so bad at everything that the passing is actually the hard part of it. You know what I mean. So like they have to complete two passes, which is almost impossible for them, before they can just start throwing at the net, so maybe something to that effect. You know, like, do a couple laps, maybe a couple passes, otherwise, you're right, it would be a lot of going straight to this little hoop thing. Uh, but again, I, I dig it just. I like the sport, just to flesh out the sport. Sure, yeah, flesh it out, that's great. Or just make it make sense in the movie, and then I don't care anymore and they're all like are we?
Speaker 2:we're playing by the rules. And then the terrorist says and then there's no rules. She says squared fair, and you're like, oh, look at that. And so they. They sort of look, and so they sort of have some lines that are meant to be like hip future lines and then they always go right back to like a normal line Yep A hundred percent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, because it's one of those things again, it's like the whole movie. There's just ideas written down somewhere, right. They're like well, this is fun jargon we could put, but it's not like we're changing all of the dialogue. Fun jargon we could put, but it's not like we're changing all of the dialogue. We're only going to put a couple of words in there, because it's only been 41 years, dan. Okay, so not everything would change, right things change pretty quick over here.
Speaker 2:It doesn't take 41 years for things to change um being 41 years old myself.
Speaker 1:Uh, my jargon never changes uh, yeah.
Speaker 2:And then there's the solar babies, who are the five good guys. There's the scorpions, of which there's the one blonde leader who's the only real character. I never caught his name, no, I yeah. Then there's the outlier character. Can you name the outlier character? The weird kid with Thal?
Speaker 1:Oh boy, yes, Star Cruiser, star Dust Dust. Star Dust Scar Something Dust Dust Skirt, something like that.
Speaker 2:You're pretty close, dar Star.
Speaker 1:Dar Star Dang it. I was dancing around it. I feel, yeah, I don't know, I don't get it.
Speaker 2:He also said he calls himself that. Yeah, it's not. What does it mean? That means he has a real name?
Speaker 1:no, I know, but what is dar? What'd you say? He has a real name dar star, pete. Should you but pete? But he chose dar star. What is? What is that? That's not a word, right? I don't understand. He's like I call myself Darstar. I feel like that should mean something to me, but it means absolutely nothing. It's gobbledygook. You know what we need to do? Tell me please. Please, tell me what we need to do. I'm all ears, dan.
Speaker 2:When Melbrook dies, Melbrook's dies. Okay, we need to go to his estate sale or whatever and find the missing footage. Is there missing footage? There has to be missing footage where they explain Darnstar Right, they would have shot that I mean I'm in, I'm in, let's do it, let's check it out.
Speaker 1:Maybe we just go there now. Mel, we got a long ways to go, dan, all right Okay.
Speaker 2:Young and healthy, so he's like this sort of mystical character. He doesn't speak until two thirds into the movie. Right, we don't hear him speak a word.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, because he's dark and mysterious. Right, he's the mysterious stranger, you said it yourself. Or outsider, mysterious outsider? I think that's what you said Did you think he could talk so? Honestly, I didn't, Because we have Daniel who can't hear. Yes, so I thought. And then I thought this guy was mute and I thought maybe he was going to speak through the animals. That was kind of where my head was heading towards. Hello.
Speaker 1:I am the, I am Darstar, not like a pup, not like a real thing, where it's like oh, the parrot talks for me. Not like that sort of thing, but, like you know, a communication of some sort where he's like the bird flies to this place and they're like Darstar wants us to go there. I don't know Something like that, because he's magic. He's got some sort of magic that we don't understand or discuss or do anything with.
Speaker 2:But he doesn't. It's a grift.
Speaker 1:He's like faking it right, is he? I thought he was magic, because there's magic in the movie. The orb lights them up when they touch hands. I don't understand.
Speaker 2:But he never did any magic, right.
Speaker 1:I mean he magic'd the bird, I mean the bird. He called a bird to him. That's magic right.
Speaker 2:I suppose Maybe his bird control was magic.
Speaker 1:Well, because he calls the owl to him. Right, he's got an owl friend, yeah, a familiar, as you will. But then also in the sand scene, when he's's drawing stuff, he calls crows to his arm he does call crows, that is true, he calls crows, so I just feel like he's got some sort of animal magic.
Speaker 2:Yeah so boom. The game is broken up by the e-police perimeter violation, perimeter violation and then hold on.
Speaker 1:They say orphanage perimeter violation. It's very specific which perimeter they're violating. It's the orphanage perimeter violation. I just thought that was interesting.
Speaker 2:They got transport vehicles, they got motorcycles and then they got these dune buggy ones that, like, they do crazy things with these dune bugs. Yeah, it's cool. That's why this is we. We know this is not in america because they do crazy things with the dune buggies oh, interesting that's.
Speaker 1:That's a fair point. I didn't even think about it yeah, no they're going crazy but. I love it. I think it's cool. It's cool. This is more the stuff we need. In fact, this whole intro to this movie, the first 10 to 15 minutes, is completely different from the rest of the movie. Yeah, and that bothers me because I I am interested, I'm still right now, I'm still very into this movie.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, at this point in time yeah, if they'd have made this movie, it would have been much better. Yeah, they didn't make this movie oh, no of course not. So the kids take off, they head into this. Mine, the big bad guys. I think he's called the stricter, yeah, it's something like that stricker, yeah, stricter and then he yells at the head of the scorpions for not beating the stupid solar babies yes.
Speaker 1:So this is why I thought this movie was going to be about the sport more, because he's yelling at the king scorpion and he says something under the lines of we give you no rules. You could do whatever you want, but I don't give you those things, just so you can lose to this. You know, shitty ragtag squad of of skateboard idiots. But why, why? Why are they getting privileges? Because they're good at skateboard, because skateboard doesn't mean anything as far as I could tell. That's the world I want to live in, like this team that is getting all these favors and they're like the heavy. You know, oh, we beat everyone at skateboard, but then this underdog team. I want a sports movie. That's what I want. I want, like a future sports movie out of this.
Speaker 2:Has there ever been? I mean other than Rollerball, has there ever been? I mean, there's driving future, driving movies, sure yeah, but has there been another?
Speaker 1:I guess, I don't know. I think we should write one.
Speaker 2:I can't think of anything other than Rollerball. But if we did it would be a joke.
Speaker 1:Because everything has to be a joke. If we did, it would be a joke. It could be a joke, but we have to take the sport seriously. Does that make sense? It's a funny movie, but the sport is real. We're going to make real rules and they're going to really play the game. Because that drives me crazy.
Speaker 2:Well, I've got my Extreme Future Sport in Space Duck you do.
Speaker 1:I haven't read that one. It's called feeble leg.
Speaker 2:Oh man, it's like soccer, but you're always taking penalty kicks, but the other team runs at you and tries to kick you in the leg.
Speaker 1:No shin pads? I assume no, we're talking straight bone on bone action here.
Speaker 2:Okay, great, very violent, very big, great, very violent, very big turnover, very dangerous.
Speaker 1:Very big turnover. We got broken legs every day. Folks, dan, I'm in, let's do this. This is great. There it is.
Speaker 2:I got it all worked out.
Speaker 1:Okay, I love it. That's trademarked. Everybody, don't take Dan's space duck sport Like Dan.
Speaker 2:Space Duck Sport. So Daniel the young kid. There's a young kid, daniel. He's the coolest kid Everybody thinks he's the greatest.
Speaker 1:He's not on the team, he's just like their friend. He's the mascot? He's the water boy? Well, I guess not water boy, because there's no water in the future, so I guess he's the dirt boy, sand boy.
Speaker 2:Sand boy. He goes down in the mine. He falls over, looses a mine cart. The mine cart crashes through a wall. The track on the floor disappears, the mine cart.
Speaker 1:I don't understand how this happened. It's ridiculous. All he did was unbreak it and it just went through a wall. That's not how mine carts work. It went right through a wall. If it's a thin wall it'll go right through it. If it's a paper wall, which it clearly was, yeah.
Speaker 2:There's static on his headphone. He goes in there and he finds this little globe, smaller than a soccer ball, but bigger than a cantaloupe. That side's a little bigger than a cantaloupe. Alright, perfect, cantaloupe. Yeah, that side's a little bigger than a cantaloupe. All right, perfect. Cantaloupe was about 18% 18% larger than a cantaloupe.
Speaker 1:Just a GMO cantaloupe, you know what I mean. Just a little bit bigger than normal.
Speaker 2:A jacked cantaloupe Jacked he immediately regains the ability to hear, which then never comes into play. No one ever I mean his buddies notice he has the ability to hear, but we never have a point of jeopardy where they're like how the hell, do you hear again now? Nope, we never do that bit.
Speaker 1:Nope, nope, it's just, you know, but it's a nice thing for him, you know, good old Daniel got his ears back. What a treat.
Speaker 2:Because we were worried, we felt for him so much at the beginning of the movie, him being deaf like that. And then boom, he's not deaf, and so it means something, so it's happy. Yeah, yeah, it means the ball is good. We get to feel good. See, let's see. He gets entranced by an echo. He says you fixed my ears and we find out the name of the ball is Bodai.
Speaker 1:Now Pause, stop. I'm confused why? Because the the ball is talking to him. Yeah, in this scene sort of, I don't feel like the ball talks to anybody. The rest of the movie almost uh, it talked to darston. You talk to darstar oh, that's true, you're right. You're right, but let's daniel then in this same scene. Yeah, he goes. Hey, do you need to breathe?
Speaker 2:the ball doesn't answer him when he takes it back to the. He takes it back to the, he takes it back to their, their, their quarters?
Speaker 1:no, not their quarters, their clubhouse, because they literally have a clubhouse they're somehow on campus, on this orphanage campus that's basically a prison, they have like their own hangout, clubhouse, shed type area. Great, makes total sense tony's, tony's dream to like be I mean it's cool, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna pretend, I don't want to hang out there, damn, but I don't understand how they have it.
Speaker 2:That's the problem he puts bodai in a in a thing with a blanket to keep it careful. Snug, and then he doesn't close up the thing, he leaves a hockey stick in it or whatever. It's called Skateball stick. Skateball stick. He's like here so you can breathe. And then the thing glows out of the thing. Once again, we see glow coming out of this box. It shouldn't be glowing.
Speaker 1:Nobody else notices, no, but his whole group of friends comes in. He's sitting on a glowing treasure chest and nobody says anything. That's wild.
Speaker 2:I mean because we're so indoctrinated to expect like, oh, he's being crazy and doing this thing so that it'll glow out and someone will see it, and then they'll find, find it, and then he'll be discovered, et cetera, et cetera. Nope, he just really thought it needed to breathe.
Speaker 1:And which is weird, because he asked it if it needs to breathe and it didn't tell him. And he says, oh, just in case, but it told him his name. I don't understand Dan. Sometimes it talks, sometimes it doesn't.
Speaker 2:You know, every relationship has levels of communication.
Speaker 1:Well, you're right about that. Some are better than others.
Speaker 2:He's late for roll call and it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Doesn't matter at all. They seem so worried Jason Patrick, and I want to call her Star because that's her name in Lost Boys.
Speaker 2:I feel bad.
Speaker 1:What? Terry, jamie Kurtz, tara, Tara, land Earth. Oh, terra, land Earth. Oh, okay, cool. So they are in line and they're talking. They're like, oh my God, where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Oh, get back in line, he's coming, he's coming. And then the kid's just up top and nobody gives a shit. I don't understand.
Speaker 2:Why are they so worried? I don't know. This is, it doesn't make any sense. Very weird, um, I love it. Charles durning plays the warden. He really doesn't have anything to do in this movie.
Speaker 1:I don't understand his character. He's the warden. He's like a loving father type to these kids. He's don't hurt them, please. And then he his water. He gets a water ration and he pours it on a plant to let the plant live.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's exactly, but he's running a jail orphanage. Well, you know, in these kind of things. Please explain it to me, Dan, they may call him the warden, but he's also a prisoner there.
Speaker 1:Right, he has to you know you think so. Yeah, sure Doesn't he own it.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, he just runs it. I'm confused. He's beholden to the stricter and the E-Police, but why? That's what I thought there's no reason to. We don't really get into it. But you know, oftentimes I need to get into it. Oftentimes, you know, oftentimes I need to get into it. Oftentimes, in a prison, you have prisoners that are in charge of the prisoners. You always do, Because that's like free labor.
Speaker 1:But not in charge of all of the prisoners. He's in charge of every prisoner, he is the head prisoner. That doesn't. It doesn't make sense, dan.
Speaker 2:They didn't have anybody else take the position, so they argue about stuff.
Speaker 1:That's it. Well, it's very important. He pours the water to let the plant live, and then the bad guy uses his magic Evil stick. Evil stick, evil stick. He uses evil stick to then magically kill the plant. See again, magic, random magic in the movie he kind of.
Speaker 2:it seems like it heats up and it kind of burns the plant sort of, but it doesn't even Is that what it does it? Doesn't even really completely kill the plant. The plant just kind of goes no, it just kind of shrivels a little.
Speaker 1:It's like, oh no, my water's gone for the day. Oh, maybe it sucks up water, Probably, and then later he's drinking out of his evil stick like a gerbil.
Speaker 2:Never uses a stick again. You never see that stick again. No, he does not. In class they watch a film about the eco-warriors and then they get called up to the warden.
Speaker 1:Why would you watch a video on that?
Speaker 2:It doesn't seem like a thing you would want the kids learning about the eco warriors.
Speaker 1:If you're trying to, indoctrinate them into the E police. Why would you show them freedom fighters?
Speaker 2:I don't know. You should have said these are the eco warriors. They're the ones that fucked everything up. You should hate them.
Speaker 1:Great yeah. Like you know, fox News them. Sorry, I shouldn't get political on here. No politicals.
Speaker 2:No politicals.
Speaker 1:No politicals.
Speaker 2:So up at the warden's office he yells at them and he's like you need to do that in organized play. They've got a lot of great lines, but just the idea that they have organized play, that's just.
Speaker 1:I don't know, but then we don't see any organized play.
Speaker 2:Yeah, organized play is where they're circling around and getting indoctrinated. That's organized play.
Speaker 1:No, no, that's their rec time. That's not organized. Organized play would be a match between two teams. It should be like some Hogwarts Enders game type shit where there's scoreboards and like Scorpions are 42 matches winning and they're going to win the house cup, whatever it is. But they're like. They talk about it as if this is a thing, but we don't see it ever. I want to see that movie. I want skateball the movie. Let's get it going, guys. Mount brooks's garage um all right, we'll get it.
Speaker 2:We'll get it uh, he wants them to achieve a decent life grid, and so they're and and that's like a job.
Speaker 1:Is that what you got out of that? I wasn't sure what that meant.
Speaker 2:I don't know, okay, so they have to dig holes, so they have to go out and start digging. Are they digging for water? No, that's just punishment. They're just digging yeah In the olden days. What it would be is you'd make the prisoners work on the rock pile. Do you know what a rock pile?
Speaker 1:is Okay. I mean, is it just a rock where they take the chisel?
Speaker 2:A rock pile is a big pile of rocks, and then the prisoners hit the rocks with big hammers and make smaller rocks, smaller rocks, sure, and then what? Then you hit them again and make smaller rocks.
Speaker 1:Then you hit them again and you make smaller rocks and you're telling me they're not looking for gems. Nope, here's what I always thought. I thought they were looking for gems, and the people that owned these people could then sell for money. That's what I thought. You're telling me. They just hit rocks to hit rocks.
Speaker 2:That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Well, that's what keeps them tired. Well, that's true, tired and busy that's it.
Speaker 1:That's it. That was it. You made it sound like there were more things on the list there. Damn, but that's just the one up. That's it we. I always yeah, I thought, I always thought it was like they're looking for maybe some coal, maybe some gold, a vein of silver, as it were. That's what I always thought was happening. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Nope, I don't know anything about anything. I'm an idiot. It's a pile of useless rocks that they're making smaller.
Speaker 1:Weird. That does sound bad. That is punishment. You're right, that is punishment. I'm sorry, I never understood Shaman boy makes this triangle in the dirt and then with some symbols, doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:Doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Doesn't matter at all. I thought for sure it was going to matter. It doesn't matter, don't?
Speaker 2:pay any attention to it. He crawls some crows. The dickhead kid just chases him off. Yeah, I don't get it. Dickhead then goes over to Tara, who has made a very large hole, great hole, great hole.
Speaker 1:She's really good at digging.
Speaker 2:Then he starts checking out her ass, then he climbs down in her hole and then she says another great line Get out, you creature of filth, filth. And so you're like, okay, that's a good line, and then he follows it up with the hey, I just want to talk yeah, what that face is what I made during the movie.
Speaker 1:I was like huh uh, she threatens his, so nuts, then she threatens his nuts this is not the first time that I've had a thought of like could he just know, do bad things to her in public and no one would do anything Like? Is that the kind of orphanage this is?
Speaker 2:I don't know man Because in Wreck Time.
Speaker 1:He's like got her pinned against the wall and is definitely like forcing himself on her, and the only person that does anything is Jason Patrick. Yeah, no, the guards aren't going to do anything, but it's an orphanage. They're not bad, I don't know. It's weird to me. If you're a scorpion, you do what you want. Fucking scorpions man. They're the best team at this school. Come on, give me that movie. I want that movie, so bad.
Speaker 2:Back at the clubhouse everybody finds out about Boat High and then someone's like I wish they haven't found out about Boat High. They talk about the weather. Tara has a book about the weather. She reads some weather poetry and then Boat High causes there to be thunder and then lightning, and then it rains in there and everybody's like, oh, this is incredible.
Speaker 1:First of all, not everybody. I want you to rewatch that scene, Dan. And pay very special attention to Jason Patrick.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh, is he angry at the rain?
Speaker 1:He's not angry, but I don't think he feels joy. I don't think he knows how to do it. It makes me really sad to watch. He's everyone is like dancing and having a good time and he is so awkward in this scene. He doesn't know what to do with his hand. He does some punching maneuvers and he kicks a little. It's like he has no idea how to have fun.
Speaker 1:This guy has he just fundamentally doesn't know what joy is. He doesn't have that. And listen, maybe I'm wrong it's just what I saw in this movie and I was like this makes me sad because this guy doesn't know how to have fun with the rest of these kids. Everyone's having a good time but him.
Speaker 2:Maybe he and Macaulay Culkin have to get together Fuck.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, yeah, I don't know, was he a child? Star it together Fucked.
Speaker 1:Oh my god. Yeah, I don't know. Was he a child star? Maybe that's what it is. Maybe he doesn't know how to have childlike wonder and joy, because he definitely doesn't have it in the rain and he doesn't seem to enjoy the rain is on him. Everyone's laughing and having a good time. His face is like he's having a hard time in the rain. He doesn't look like he's having fun at all. This poor guy, I feel I just want to give him a hug.
Speaker 2:He wouldn't like it, but I want to give him not like your hugs um, I'm a great hugger.
Speaker 1:Everyone likes my hugs, free hugs. So here's my question what I don't does it. Is it a genie? Does it answer wishes? How did it make the rain happen?
Speaker 2:It does whatever the scene needs it to do.
Speaker 1:The true MacGuffin?
Speaker 2:huh, okay, no, it's not a MacGuffin because it does stuff. Well, that's true.
Speaker 1:But it doesn't do anything that I want it to do. It's sort of like the ultimate deus ex machina it's going to provide you with what you need, but at the same time, not because it doesn't solve the problem.
Speaker 2:No, but it gets you what you need Get what you need.
Speaker 1:That's true. Up to a point it does, and then it gets kidnapped and can't get out, even though it's got magic powers. Is it doing these? Don't give me that attitude. Is it doing these magic powers on its own accord, or does it only respond to a specific request? You see what I'm saying. That's a good question, Tony.
Speaker 2:Okay, they make an oath not to talk about it. We go to Freeskate in the warehouse, which is pretty cool. You got to keep the modular flow it's weird.
Speaker 1:So, um, it's a very small circle for as many people as they have, you know, in rec time. Okay, seems very dangerous free.
Speaker 2:It's free skate time, that's what they call.
Speaker 1:It's free skate, yeah, but they're not free skating it. It's free skate, yeah, yeah, but they're not free skating. No, you know what I'm saying? Because they're going in a very predetermined path. It's not free skating.
Speaker 2:Have you ever watched the movie Xanadu?
Speaker 1:Not in a long, long time, but I would, if you want to do it.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that movie Xanadu's great the movie. Xander is great. It's a great movie, but at the end, you know they're doing the skate scene and they're in the club and they all start skating in the circles and they're all like cha-cha, cha-cha, cha-cha. You know, and they're all like cha-cha, cha-cha, cha-cha, yeah, oh yeah, it's just the greatest thing. I always whenever anybody's skating. I just want that to happen.
Speaker 1:I just want that to happen so bad Just one time in my life. We'll make it happen. We'll do like a flash mob, Dan.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, the bad guy goes over and starts kissing on Tara, and then Jason, you know, yeah, come on man, come on, kill you, motherfucker, I'm going to kill you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because he's a serious guy.
Speaker 2:And then he goes back later. Jason, poor Jason, who's Jason's Jason? Jason plays Jason.
Speaker 1:Jason is Jason. It's weird. It's weird. You'd think they could just switch it.
Speaker 2:He goes back and talks to Bodai and he's like, yeah, man, who am I? I want to know, but we don't ever know. No, we don't ever learn.
Speaker 1:We never find out who he is. We find out who Tara is. We find out who Tara is. We do. We know where she comes from. We know where Dar Star comes from. We don't know where he comes from. Also, where does Daniel come from? Because he's very young, he's pretty new to this. He just got kidnapped.
Speaker 2:Each of the sequels was going to kind of roll out Okay.
Speaker 1:This was like a character study. Oh, I see. Okay, so this is like setting up number two. It's just weird that you put that scene in this movie If you're not going to give us the answers of who he is.
Speaker 2:But that's, that's kind of You're asking the questions.
Speaker 1:I'm not asking the questions, you, not you, dan the movie maker. You are asking the questions. I'm not asking the questions, not you, dan the movie maker. You are asking the question who am I, where did I come from, what am I doing? And then you don't answer it. Don't put that scene in the movie.
Speaker 2:No, you got to put that scene in the movie because that just makes you want more. Right, it's like-. But I don't get more If you were to deliver more.
Speaker 1:I'm on board, but you do not deliver it.
Speaker 2:That's the thing about you know, this is all set up, no punchline. They're going to set it all up for the future.
Speaker 1:And that makes you. You got to leave. This is a franchise baby. We got to leave them wanting more.
Speaker 2:That's what I believe.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a terrible choice.
Speaker 2:Then he gets Bodai projects into Jason's mind, a montage of all the things that are going to happen, which is basically like this dam blowing up and then water being released.
Speaker 1:And then them dancing In water, right? Doesn't it show them all like coming out Of water?
Speaker 2:or something.
Speaker 1:Like they've been Baptized or something. Yeah, yeah, like they've been baptized or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, okay, by the adventure, Baptized by the adventure. Okay, Everyone then shows up. They check in for radioactivity. Metron who's the brainy one with the glasses can't figure it out.
Speaker 1:He seems mad that there's no radioactivity.
Speaker 2:I was really hoping that Metron was going to double agent them.
Speaker 1:Oh, that would have been good, because his character is definitely that guy, yeah Right, like he's not in on this adventure all the way. No, he's definitely half in, half out. Yeah, but when he checks it for radiation, he's like he does it, he does it and he goes huh, there's no radiation. Why are you mad at that? You don't want it to have radiation. Radiation's bad. You just told me that it was going to kill you by hanging out, and now you're mad that it doesn't have it. That doesn't make any sense, buddy.
Speaker 2:He wants his friends dead, then they, they, they place, they play hook, hockey with it, and then rabbit like breaks it.
Speaker 1:And apparently but no one seems upset by it they're like, wow, that's cool.
Speaker 2:And it goes like this and then goes back together and Daniel gets to score the goal and everyone's like Daniel, daniel, daniel.
Speaker 1:Now that would mean something if one, daniel, had ever played skateball before in his life. Yes, or made it seem like he wanted to play skateball ever before in his life, or made it seem like he wanted to play skateball ever before in his life, or was incapable of scoring a goal earlier in the show. But this means nothing to me.
Speaker 2:Or at the end of the movie, Metron turned on them and joined the other team, and so then Daniel had to get put in.
Speaker 1:That's great, but there is no sports later in the movie Dan, so that's just not going to happen.
Speaker 2:They go back. There's hard work, oh, they head back, but then they form a circuit and then it flows through all of them. So there it is, which means it doesn't do anything, and then the shaman is up there watching. And so then he goes yeah, he's watching the magic. He goes and steals Bowtie, and so then he goes. Yeah, he's watching the magic, he goes.
Speaker 1:And steals Bowtie, which I didn't understand, but it's fine.
Speaker 2:Well, they kind of explained it. He wanted to take it to the Chakani, to give it to them or to use it for power or something.
Speaker 1:For what? Yeah, but I don't understand what he thinks. One because he doesn't really know anything about the Chakani right Nope Right. So what is he? Like what he thinks one because he doesn't really know anything about the chikani right? Nope right. So what is he? I don't understand the motivation to be like what. But if I bring him this magic ball, they're going to x.
Speaker 1:You know, I don't know what that is, I don't know, I don't know what that step is in his brain I don't think you're ever gonna know, tony no, I'm not ever gonna know, because they didn't get to make all the sequels that you think they wanted to make unless we get into mel brooks's garage we'll get in there, don't you worry.
Speaker 2:So it's legally of course turns out, someone escaped, we don't know who, and they tossed the barracks. For what reason, we don't know.
Speaker 1:Uh, if it yeah, here's what's a little weird to me, right is everyone especially tara. She's like he's free. I'm jealous of whoever it is. Because he's free, it seems like anyone could leave anytime they want. There is very little actual security here.
Speaker 2:They just walk out the front door there is not a lock on a door.
Speaker 1:Right, like whoever just escaped just walks right out and then they're like he's free. I can't believe. Just leave. Anyone can just leave as far as I can tell.
Speaker 2:Oh, so this is probably because of Darstar, because Darstar is left.
Speaker 1:Yes, Darstar leaves, he steals the orb and then he just walks out the front door.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so then it's night night. Tara wakes up and there's Jason. He's all like. Daniel is gone.
Speaker 1:Also walked out the front door.
Speaker 2:Just walked out the front door. So they meet in the clubhouse and they take a vote and they're like we're gonna go find Daniel and um, they just, they just go Well at least they skate out the front door.
Speaker 1:You know that's a little different. And then this camera Pops up and is looking right at him. They go past it and then stop 50 yards from it and they're like all right, now, destroy it. So now he turns back and throws a rock at it and destroys it. It's too late, guys. The camera already caught you. It knows who you are. If you're going to take out a camera, you got to do it before it sees you, because that's how cameras work. But it popped up.
Speaker 2:They didn't know it was there.
Speaker 1:You're right, it did pop up it surprised them all.
Speaker 2:Now, when that camera popped up and then they threw the rock and broke the camera, were you sort of impressed with the skill of this movie at that point?
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Do you mean his lacrosse skills? No, mean his lacrosse skills, because the answer to that is yes, because I have tried to play lacrosse a lot and I cannot throw very accurately. It's very hard to throw with the whatever that hook thing at the top.
Speaker 2:It's hard to control that nothing you and jason jason patrick have in common um me and jp not great at lacrosse I just thought like this sort of effect was was pretty effective. Oh I, from a movie making standpoint, I okay wow that's good.
Speaker 1:I mean, listen, I liked a lot of stuff cinematically in this movie. I thought a lot of their tech was pretty cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I mean, so they break it. Then we have a musical interlude of them skating, sort of. To a song called Standing in the Danger Zone.
Speaker 1:Wait, is that real?
Speaker 2:That is the main line from the song Standing in the Danger Zone. Standing, that's pretty good. Are you going to just stand there in the Danger Zone? Yes, no, you wouldn't stand in the Danger Zone.
Speaker 1:And they're also not standing, which is a weird song, to put it, when they're clearly skating. Now here's listen. I don't know things right, but they're leaving this place skating into a known desert, right? Why would you have your skates on? Why would you think that you are able to skate through a desert? It turns out they are, let's be clear. But why would that be on your brain Like if I was escaping into a desert? I'd be like I better wear shoes because I can't skate in loose dirt. But they're just, they know it's going to work.
Speaker 2:If you were escaping, would you take a car or would you just walk?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean I, would you take a car or would you just walk? Oh well, I mean, I would love to take a car.
Speaker 2:I don't think they know how to drive a car or those cool motorbikes. You take a car as far as you could and then you get out of the car and walk wouldn't you?
Speaker 1:yeah, 100, wow or wow. You would roller skate through loose dirt and gravel, which is gonna trip you and you know what?
Speaker 2:let's take a minute.
Speaker 1:It didn't trip them, but let's take a minute and can and commend these actors, because they are really doing this, not not that it's in the middle of the desert, but that the road is covered in loose gravel. You can see dust pop up as they're like trying to skate through it. At one point, jason patrick goes off the path. I don't know if he meant to do it or not, but he has to run through loose sand On skates like literally he's running and then gets back on the path. Good for that. As an actor, that would be a tough Day of work, I think. Good for them. Congratulations.
Speaker 2:I'm going to put myself in his roller skates. Oh god, tony.
Speaker 1:I wish.
Speaker 2:Meanwhile Daniel, who's up ahead he has run out water, but he's still hearing from Bodai the E police show up because they finally sort of caught up, and then they start Because they're on roller skates. Yeah, they're on roller skates and they move pretty quick. So then they get to this destroyed bridge. And then Tony wants to talk about getting across the destroyed bridge.
Speaker 1:Well, first of all, this gap is huge. Okay, let's just talk about this for one second. The bridge is out and it is a huge. You can't jump it Straight up. You cannot jump it. You think you can jump it? No, never in a million years.
Speaker 2:Okay, great, when you jump. This is what happens when you jump.
Speaker 1:You go jump, jump and you go.
Speaker 2:You don't really, you don't really make a parabola. You make, you make a, you make a. This is let me get math, mathematic. You don't make a parabola, yeah, yeah let's get it. You make a fucking sine curve and the sine curve goes like it goes.
Speaker 1:It just shoots you right to shit so they're never gonna make it a million years. Let's get over that for a moment right, let's pretend that they could make it. They form a, what do they call a slingshot?
Speaker 2:they call it a whip.
Speaker 1:It's a whip jason patrick is at the center. He's the like, he the center point and he's got two people on each of going out each ways and they're spinning in a circle to gain momentum.
Speaker 2:Yeah Right, it's not a terrible. What a fun little treat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then they slingshot one person, boom, he makes it with all that momentum that he had. Right, that's great. Let's pretend that that makes sense Scientifically.
Speaker 1:Let's pretend this is our starting point. Now they're down one person in their momentum swing. So there's less momentum, the next person's going to fall shorter. Then there's one less, he's going to fall shorter. The next person's not even going to get off the ground. And then Jason Patrick does it by himself. He just is like you know what? I'll just back up another 20 feet and that'll be enough momentum to get over the edge yeah, because he doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:He's the strongest of them, is he? I think, the other guy's the strongest of them? Dom deluise's kid? Yeah, probably. Yeah, who we still? I don't remember his name, but he's pretty fit. I like him kind of anyhow, it's just it's just a dumb scene. It doesn't make any sense, and I love it. I love it so much.
Speaker 2:And then the bad guys come in motorcycles and they lose one of the motorcycles into the ravine. And then the kids are on the other side and they're all like, yeah, they're cheering.
Speaker 1:We did it, we did it. What a great line. We did it. So silly.
Speaker 2:So Darstar gets to the chicani camp. The chicanis are sort of like native americans. They're sort of a bunch of white people sort of dressed as native americans yeah, that's maybe not great, but yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:That's an accurate description.
Speaker 2:The chicani leader yells at him don't be cryptic with me, boy.
Speaker 1:Which is weird, because he just goes like who are you? And he's like I don't really know, I don't know where I came from, I don't know who I am, and then he gets yelled at for it. Yeah, it's tough.
Speaker 2:And then he says some stuff. He's like, did you train that bird? And he's like, yep, he's like, guy's, one of us, let's go. So they go into the one building. The one building is a wax museum of death. Yeah, I loved it. I was just like this is like when you make a movie. You have a person. What's the person?
Speaker 2:a location manager, location scout and they go out there and they're all like we could shoot here and here and here and somebody's like you know there's a wax museum we could shoot, you know what?
Speaker 1:would be really cool. Yeah, in the middle of this futuristic desert movie, a wax museum interior wax museum that is inside of a tent.
Speaker 1:Interior wax museum that is inside of a tent, but here's the here's the crazier part about that some one, one or several of the chikani reset it every time because all of the traps go off, someone's head gets chopped off in the guillotine, it rolls down, someone gets hung, dropped from a thing, so someone is in there like resetting it Every time for a new. When someone new comes, they're like, oh, this will be fun, we gotta reset the wax museum everybody. We got a newcomer. It's so weird, it's so great. Good for them.
Speaker 2:There's a crazy old guy down there. He has pigeons. So we've done an owl, we've done pigeons. So many birds a lot of bird handling for this movie bird magic. And then he checks out the the thing and he says this is a, this is from outer space, and that the protectorate, the bad guys, fear it.
Speaker 1:Right. Well, how did? How do they know all that? Because he, he said he Right.
Speaker 2:How do they know all that? Because he must be the guy at the beginning that tells about the legend. You think he's the one that's telling the?
Speaker 1:legend when it's not even a legend?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, he knows the legend.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes, we solved it. Okay, talk to me about the legend, though, because it's been 41 years. What happened in these 41 years? Did they find the orb at one point and then lose it? Why do the bad guys fear it? How do they any? The bad guy calls it the. What is the ball of longinus, or something the orb of longinus. Yeah, I don't know what that means. Do you know what that word means?
Speaker 2:oh, it's a made-up word, made up for you I thought maybe I was missing something.
Speaker 1:No, but so they have a name for it. Yep, so they've. They've encountered it before. Yes, that's. This is the legend that I need to be told. You know what I mean? Like what happened? That the bad guys fear it and the good guys want it? I don't get it, just I don't. I don't get it. I don't understand, man. I'm so confused.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. So boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, let's see. Okay, the owl alerts Starstar that something's going to happen, so he kind of runs away, but all these cars come down there and they basically kill everyone or take people prisoner, or they just destroy the whole Chikani camp, burn the whole village shoot the leader, destroyed the stupid blonde kid.
Speaker 1:Scorpion shoots the owl to death and this is the darkest part of the movie to me he goes and picks up the dead owl and he's like I got his owl. Oh man, and this is the darkest part of the movie to me he goes and picks up the dead owl and he's like I got his owl. Woo, swings it around and then throws it. It's dark. That's animal cruelty, right there.
Speaker 2:You know what it is. That's the scene in Road Warrior where the guy goes and gets the little psycho feral kids boomerang. That's based on that scene.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes sense Sure, but this is an owl, this is a live creature. It's horrible.
Speaker 2:So the bad guys.
Speaker 1:Messed up stuff.
Speaker 2:They haven't found what they're looking for, but they destroyed the Chikani camp, which there's no reason to, and then they just drive back home, which they've got like a separate sort of enclosure, and then there's these weird Australian cowboy guys that are outside the enclosure. They're all like, hey, governor, what do you want us to do, mate? And then he's all like your day will come or something, and he hits them with a stick yeah, what.
Speaker 1:Well, they're coming. Who are these?
Speaker 2:people. They keep coming back. That's Malice the bounty hunter. They're bounty hunters.
Speaker 1:This is not what I imagine when I think of bounty hunters.
Speaker 2:Just the idea that they hang around outside the enclosure. That's how you Just waiting. You don't have a bar that you can put them in to visit. No, we're just like. We've made this enclosure, so we're going to make this encounter right there. Because that makes a lot of sense, it's great, it's totally wonderful. Um oh no, they had, they brought the chicani leader back. They torture him, they, they have a torture machine that makes you think of the most thing.
Speaker 1:That's most horrible, and he's covered in ants yeah, which you know what having I'm? We have an ant problem right now and I get it Like my biggest fear right now is I'm going to go to bed and I'm going to wake up and I'm going to be covered, I'm going to be crawling under my mouth and then I'll choke to death.
Speaker 2:You know what that when you eat an ant? You know what that taste is? No, I think it's formic acid.
Speaker 1:That's bad right, it's acid, acid. If I get too much ass, it's gonna burn right through me. Hopefully, see, I knew it. I knew it, I'm gonna die.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna die from ants uh, he also tortures the, the head of the scorpions, and makes him think his hand is rotting away. It's way cooler.
Speaker 1:That one, that one. I get his hand literally just like just disintegrates in front of him. That's very scary, it's creepy.
Speaker 2:Boom tortures the kid, Then our kids have now gotten in a cave. Jason, to prove how tough he is, drinks from an old soda pop can. And then they find cave paintings of everybody.
Speaker 1:But it's only 41 years old. It's not even that old if you think about it.
Speaker 2:It's more like paintings on the side of the wall of someone. That was bored, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's in crayon, from what I can tell. You know what I mean. Or like the sidewalk chalk.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's more like that. That's probably what it is. It looks more like pastels or something. What it is? It looks more like pretty nice art, so weird.
Speaker 1:It's super. It's only been 41 years. Why are people drawing on a cave wall?
Speaker 2:I don't get it. There's no more paper.
Speaker 1:But when was there no more paper?
Speaker 2:You know what I mean what is the timeline of this. This looks like a war.
Speaker 1:It's the. What are they called?
Speaker 2:The.
Speaker 1:E-Police. You know why that's confusing, dan? Because the E-Police and E-Cowarriors they should have different letters Anyhow. So this is like this happened within the last 40 years, right? Or is this like the war that happened right before the world ended those years, right? Or is this like the war that happened right before the world?
Speaker 2:ended. It's a good questions. Uh keep, I don't like movies that, just like you know shit out.
Speaker 1:I need answers. Keep asking questions uh, thank you, I will the bad guys are on the move.
Speaker 2:They go to the place where the evil lady is the the evil lady that fought superman. There she is with her cool haircut.
Speaker 1:She's super wait, is that? Is that the same lady? Is that same actor? Yeah, same person from uh the the evil kryptonian one. Love that.
Speaker 2:Good for her and she has a magnetron, which is what they're going to use to destroy the orb when they get it. Why?
Speaker 1:do they need?
Speaker 2:to destroy the orb.
Speaker 1:Nobody knows. Also, why did that? She didn't seem to believe the orb still existed. Yeah, that's true, right, yeah. So why would she have the weapon to destroy it? Oh, I burped that was horrible.
Speaker 2:Well, he just figures out, she has this machine that can do stuff, and he's like well, let's try and destroy it with that.
Speaker 1:All right, I don't know, I don't understand.
Speaker 2:So our kids go to Tire Town. Tire Town is like Barter Town. It's Tire Town, barter Town, very good. They have the name spelled out in tires Tire Town, which is like the best part, which is great Like it looks fun yeah it's just your classic post-apocalyptic thing. Somehow they're able to get disguises and buy food and buy whatever they want with. I don't know why they would have money in the orphanage Well.
Speaker 1:I don't understand. Is there money? Because when you do your job, you get paid in water. So when do you?
Speaker 2:even get money. Maybe you spit in someone's mouth and that's how you pay them for clothes. Here's a shirt, my friend, so they're checking it out, somebody sees her tattoo, so they know that she's a kid, but that never comes into play. There's a wanted poster. That never comes into play.
Speaker 1:Even though it's a great picture of all of them, and they are not that well disguised? Not at all.
Speaker 2:There's a factory that it seems like they're either making water out of tires, they're making something out of tires.
Speaker 1:I don't get it.
Speaker 2:Then they go over and Daniel can hear Bodai, he's locked in this thing. And they go over there and there it's locked. And then the dark star shows up and he's all like, well, I'm just going to tell you the combination. And then he tells them the combination they get into this.
Speaker 2:It's like a metal vehicle they all get in to start screwing with the orb and I'm like these are the dumbest kids ever. Darkstar is going to just fucking put that lock back on there and have everyone, or the bounty hunters are going to do that.
Speaker 1:Nope, Nah, I wouldn't worry about that. Here's another question why did Darkstar hide it there then? Yeah, how did he? How was he the only one with the combination to this thing? He bought that lock. He bought the lock you're saying.
Speaker 2:But why is there an?
Speaker 1:empty container that he could put it in in the middle of Tire Town.
Speaker 2:Maybe he peed on somebody and then he could buy the whole thing.
Speaker 1:You're escalating the fluids. I like it. This is good. What a barter system they got going on in Tire Town.
Speaker 2:Okay, tara's mad and she convos with Darstar and she tells him that they buried his owl and he's like thank you for doing that.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. What he says is I know, oh, because he was watching.
Speaker 2:Okay, he was watching when they did it.
Speaker 1:No, because he's magic and you know it.
Speaker 2:No, he was watching. He was up on the hill. Yeah, he was watching.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was. I don't remember that. That's on me, Darstar. I apologize.
Speaker 2:So the E-Police show up and they're there to destroy.
Speaker 1:Just fuck shit up.
Speaker 2:I forgot what happens in this movie.
Speaker 1:They is in this movie. They come there, they fight and then they escape by rolling down in tires.
Speaker 2:There's like these large tires and they get inside them and then roll down this one hill to where, to freedom.
Speaker 1:I mean to freedom.
Speaker 2:But the best part is poor Jason Patrick has to. They film him as he's doing this. Can you imagine?
Speaker 1:how horrible that was, I would be throwing up the whole way down, just spewing as I go. It's wild, but good for him. This guy is intense, like the one thing everyone says about working with JP is he is intense um, the whole factory blows up, but terror was still up there.
Speaker 2:So that was this is. Everybody has got to make a plan.
Speaker 1:They don't make a plan. How many people just died in Tire Town, I don't know. Like a ton right. So they murdered an entire Chikani village. Yeah, now they've murdered everyone in Tire Town. How many villages are there? This is weird.
Speaker 2:That's how they keep the orphanages full. They destroy whatever they find.
Speaker 1:You think they took all the children from Tire Town. Maybe they did. They seem to have taken the Chikani children. I guess Actually I think you are right. There you go, so boom. Now they gotta wait another 50 years or so to get another crop of children, though.
Speaker 2:So tough how did they get Bodai? I guess the bad guys got Bodai at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, daniel dropped them when they were running out of Tire Town. He drops them and he's like I got Bodai. But then Jason Pax was like no, we gotta go. And then they roll down in tires.
Speaker 2:So they've got Bodai, the bad guys are analyzing it, then Malice just catches them. How does he catch them? He just catches them. Yeah, he just catches them, worry about, ties them to his cart which I don't know where he got, a cart and then talk about what happens then when they're so he's like making them be his mode of transportation, and what happens to me yeah, they're.
Speaker 1:They're horsing around right, and then a figure appears in the distance.
Speaker 2:All white, all white, just like the good guys in Road Warrior.
Speaker 1:Same outfits and then this person walks by squirting water out of a little container, just you know, on them and they're like who would waste water? Like that? What's going on here? And then she waves them over and like follow me, she's squirting more water. Like the whole time she's squirting water. She waves them over squirting water, then they follow her and then there's just a trap of people. I don't know, but this water squirting is wild to me.
Speaker 2:And it turns out that the person squirting them with water is none other than tara which she's been dead all of one and a half minutes in this movie. So really scary stuff there so they tie the bounty hunters back to the cart and send them off and they go with tara and the other white warriors. Are they dead?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, oh yeah, are those guys dead?
Speaker 2:They're totally dead Right.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure they're dead. They murdered them.
Speaker 2:Whoever finds them is either eating them or doing worse things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're tied up. They have no water. Worse things indeed. This town's crazy.
Speaker 2:Did you ever watch Viggo Mortensen in the Road?
Speaker 1:I have not seen the Road. Don't watch that movie. I have not seen the Road, don't watch that movie.
Speaker 2:I don't plan on it. It's a movie where it's like it's how the world really ends and they're like people People in cages.
Speaker 1:Oh Jesus, I'm all good, thank you.
Speaker 2:Okay, so she takes him back To the secret place. There's a cave that has ice and the ice is melting and they meet her, this beard guy who's tara's dad, his name is green tree, and they're all like. We did the eco wars, but then a lot of people died, so now we're not doing eco wars anymore.
Speaker 1:We're just gonna hang out here by this melting ice chip, like eventually that's running out, you know what I mean? Like ice doesn't replenish itself in the desert, so at some point you're out of water. Then what happens?
Speaker 2:Eco Wars start up again. Daniel, can't hear Bodhi anymore. The bad guys are back trying to laser Bodhi boat high anymore. Um, the bad guys are back trying to laser boat high and then they say to tara.
Speaker 1:Tara, you know we we can't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we gotta go gotta go, and so she's all like well, I guess the place you have to go is the place that I have a map of right well, first of all, yeah, she says no she's like all upset she's like no, no, no.
Speaker 1:and then we cut to them, leaving and she's like wait for me, wait for me, I've got a map. And what is it?
Speaker 2:a map to Tony.
Speaker 1:Straight to where they need to go. That's all I know.
Speaker 2:What's the place called? I don't know, it's the Protectorate, aquabunker, the Aquabunker. So Jason and.
Speaker 1:Tara make out a little yeah, a little, but here's did you watch this closely, dan, like I did? I rewound it. Watch the second time. Jason patrick never closes his eyes in this kiss there's it's like it's seven seconds. That's exactly. He's like staring at her and she's just on his lips and he is not blinking not blinking at all. It's very scary. I was like this guy's killing people tonight. I don't know what's going on. They're boyfriend and girlfriend in real life too right.
Speaker 1:In real life. Yeah, they're together, yeah, and he's like not at work, not at work, babe, I can't do it. Are they boyfriend and girlfriend? In this movie, the characters Not really, as far as I can tell, I think they were just kind of like friends we never really had. This is the only time where they like hook up. You know what I mean. So I don't think so. I think maybe it was just like let's see what's going on here, so they start skating into the.
Speaker 2:They skate to where they need to go um the bad guys now, then bring out terminak, which is this big robot that looks terrible, but I still love him so dumb. And then terminak still love him he's like got drills and things and then he's gonna finish the job because they've been laser blasting it for a while yeah, and he's got so many gadgets on him, dan.
Speaker 1:He's just got like arms everywhere that do different things. It's such a hodgepodge of nothing and he rolls so slow like it's the dumbest thing I've ever seen, he's a hodgepodge of nothing.
Speaker 2:They're like Spanish guys make us a robot. Eh, we're making you a robot.
Speaker 1:It's going to be mighty fantastic. This guy can put a few more limbs on him that do different things.
Speaker 2:I don't know. There's not enough going on. So they get there, they have to pole vault over the gate and then they oh this is my pole vault over the gate.
Speaker 1:And then they. Oh, this is my favorite part of the movie. Talk about the pole vaulting. This is great. So he's pole vaulting, he's skating up, skating hard, skating hard with the pole vault, hits the pole vault, goes over the fence. No skates, there are no skates on his feet and we were in a close-up of his feet for the jump over the fence. He leaves with skates, no skates, lands on skates. And I was like good for you guys.
Speaker 1:Oh, he had no skates, just when he's flying Just when he was flying, which is obviously a safety thing, because you'll break an ankle Like the guy who's doing the pole vaulting right, shouldn't be wearing skates. But don't show his feet. Then Cut around the feet maybe, I don't know, Just an idea.
Speaker 2:Did you see the thing about the?
Speaker 1:pole vaulter at the Olympics. No, what happened?
Speaker 2:So this pole Was he wearing skates? No, he goes for the thing he goes over and he's clearing it. He's coming down on the other side. Yeah, but his big dick hits the pole. No, his big that's gotta be His big erect dick knocks over the thing.
Speaker 1:He got so excited that he was clearing it that he just went six to midnight and it just ruined his whole life. That's gotta be the only time in the history of the world where someone's like man. I wish my dick wasn't this big. That's terrible. Can you imagine going to the Olympics and your dick ruins your day? Like what are you going to do about?
Speaker 2:that he's. You know, he's a legend now Because all the girls are going to be like.
Speaker 1:He's like I'm the guy in the Olympics that his big dick knocked off the pool. So just saying that's why. No, I'm going to have to look that up, though I got to see that Sounds great.
Speaker 2:They loose the dogs with the lasers on their heads, but they turn off the dogs.
Speaker 1:They're not lasers, it's just flashlights.
Speaker 2:Dan.
Speaker 1:It's just like the skates they just tape more flashlights on dogs' heads. It's very strange, it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2:They free Darstar, the kids get in. So they free Darstar, they get in. Maybe they knock out a couple people and then immediately they're in the main chamber Like we're not going to waste any time or sense.
Speaker 1:Don't worry about it, right in that main chamber.
Speaker 2:And then it's just all hell breaks loose and they, they, it's pandemonium fight the robot and they fight the lady and they do the whip maneuver again, the slingshot.
Speaker 1:Great, great job bringing that back a second time.
Speaker 2:Good for you they set the evil scientist lady on fire. How did they do that? I think it was magic. I think it was magic. Okay, I did not understand. She was grabbing on something and all of a sudden she lifted her. How did they?
Speaker 1:do that? I think it was magic. I think it was magic. Okay, I did not understand. She was grabbing on something and all of a sudden she lifted her hands up and they're on fire.
Speaker 2:So I didn't follow that, but good for you, I think, bodai set her on fire.
Speaker 1:Actually, Great job, Bodai.
Speaker 2:And then the big evil guy, Strickter, picks up Daniel and he kind of cradles him. It's really weird. And then what?
Speaker 1:does he say to him? I don't know. He says Is that your ball? That's what he says to the kid as he's cradling him in his arms. It's the weirdest moment I've ever seen in my life. Is that your ball, as he's just holding this underage child in his arms? Nope, can't do it. You can't do it. I don't care what year it is, you can't do it.
Speaker 2:It was weird and then somehow the robot terminic just kills the, kills the bad guy, he grabs the bad guy grabs his arm and just won't let go of the arm and eventually he dies.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I'm not sure if that's how any of that works, but thanks, robot and then, uh, bodai, um, oh some.
Speaker 2:I wrote dumb kid shoots robot. Who's a dumb kid? I don't know someone, I'm not sure somebody shoots the robot and then bodai, bodai goes into you know magical dust and he blows the dam and then that makes a thundercloud and then they're like water is free again.
Speaker 1:Now I have two questions. Question the first yes, how does that make a thundercloud? I don't know One big thundercloud.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, just one. It was big. It was big. No, no, it was big. I just don't understand. I don it was big. No, no, it was big. I just don't understand how science works. I'll be the first to admit it, but I don't think that's how it works.
Speaker 2:No, that's not how science works.
Speaker 1:My second question is when dams?
Speaker 2:crash. What they do is they send water down into the lower areas and destroy everything in their way.
Speaker 1:Right, exactly, they send a little flood action, which is terrible If you want to see terrible things.
Speaker 2:There's been horrible flooding in. Switzerland the last few months Go watch that video?
Speaker 1:Oh, no, really.
Speaker 2:And you're just like it's horrible. And then they're cleaning it up and there's just like mud, like foot thick, and it's just one color? Yeah, it's just one color everywhere.
Speaker 1:That's very sad. It's very sad. It's horrible Way to bring down the podcast. That's depressing.
Speaker 2:But we were watching this, no thundercloud.
Speaker 1:No thundercloud. Okay, that's all we need to know. Was there a thundercloud in the video? So then my second question, dan, is and now they're like water's free again, but there's still a finite amount of water, because humans destroyed the planet, right, I mean?
Speaker 2:what they're saying is. What are they saying, dan, if I remember correctly, in the book Dune, at the end.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:They read Spoilers. I believe the Fremen had been saving water for so long that they finally let it loose, and then weather begins again on Doom. I think that's how.
Speaker 1:And there's like which is, I guess, what they're going for here with the Thundercloud, I think that's the point. The point is that I don't think there's that much. It's only been 41 years, Stan.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's that much water that it's going to start weather again on the planet. I think the idea is that by releasing the water that they've kept trapped, it starts weather again on the planet. I think that's the point. Bodai is better and then he rockets into space, but then the kids do the thing where they all sort of connect together, and I think Darstar is part of that. This time.
Speaker 1:He is part of that, but it doesn't mean anything then they're like he hasn't left us. He will always be with us, but he did leave you. I watched him zoom up into space. I don't know what this circle of power is, but it's nothing. It doesn't do anything. There's no reason for it, so I don't get it. I think it gives them pleasure.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh, okay, I'm on board because you talked to me because at one point they were like they were saying that the problem the bad guys were saying the problem with the sphere is that you know it controls people, right?
Speaker 1:I think they said that, sure something yeah, and you know like, think about if you had like a magical ball that just caused. And the problem with the sphere is it controls people, right? I think they said that. Sure Something yeah.
Speaker 2:And think about if you had a magical ball that just caused ecstasy.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking about it right now.
Speaker 2:People would kind of do what that ball told them to do.
Speaker 1:Hell yeah, I would Sign me up. I'll do it right now. Okay, that also explains the kiss, because she's feeling sexual feelings for the first time, right, so they're like horny teenagers for the first time ever, does she?
Speaker 2:kiss Jason at the end too.
Speaker 1:I guess I don't remember who kisses. No, I'm talking about the open-eyed stare kiss before they go on the adventure.
Speaker 2:I don't think it was working on Jason.
Speaker 1:The guy has no joy. How is that going to work on him? You know what I mean. Like he's got nothing.
Speaker 2:I don't know, but this movie has great stuff. It has weird lines. It has weird costumes. Yeah, there's a lot of skating. It has a weird robot. I love the robot. I loved all the skating. I love the outfits. I love Tire Town. Yeah, I love the people marching. I wish there had been more. You know stomp stuff. You know like Sure.
Speaker 1:I wish that had been the soundtrack. I mean they just do that the one time in the beginning and then never again. Somebody should make a new soundtrack for this movie, okay. Or someone should redo this movie. We should do a reboot, okay. I think it would be huge. So the baby's two, let's talk to Mel Brooks Poor Mel, poor Mel. Anything else to say about this classic Tony, I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. Yeah, it was good. I had a great time. It was good. Yeah, better than Speed 2.
Speaker 2:This movie was oh, that was the point I was going to make they jumped the bridge. Just like in Speed 1, they jumped the bridge. Just like in Speed Okay let's get this bus going. You know what the bus would have done. That's what the bus would have done. But somehow the bus lifts front tires first, so it goes off some sort of a ramp.
Speaker 1:It doesn't make a lot of sense. That movie incredible, don't care, you know what I mean. You can do whatever you want. You've earned so much goodwill up to that point in that movie that I let it slide. But it is ridiculous.
Speaker 2:That movie earned so much goodwill that everybody gave him well, most everybody gave him. Even I gave him a pass on that. You're just like that is really stupid, but nope, but I don't care.
Speaker 1:I'm having so much fun right now. That's really true. That's a good movie, so Tony, tell us about something.
Speaker 2:You've been on vacation for a couple of weeks. You probably watched some good stuff, so there's got to be something good. You haven't talked about.
Speaker 1:You would be surprised. Did I talk about Bad Boys Ride or Die.
Speaker 2:Yet no, you just talked about how you didn't like Twisters.
Speaker 1:Nope, that's not what I talked about, Dan. I love Twisters. I would like to see Twisters again. I've been listening to the soundtrack of Twisters, even though it's country and I don't really like country. I'm just in a Twisters kind of mood. But I did also watch Bad Boys and it was really good. Oh okay, I thought it was better than three. I liked three and then I thought four was actually better than three. I thought it was funnier. There's some weird camera work in it where we go first person for absolutely no reason, which is concerning, but again, similar to speed. I let it slide because I'm having so much fun, but I do go. What are we doing? But it's a good movie. It's very fun. I had a good time.
Speaker 2:I watched a movie for you, Tony. You watched a movie for me Was it. Twisters? It was not Twisters.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, Twisters isn't available yet. Not yet. I think it comes out sometime this month. I think it's dropping on VOD Within minutes.
Speaker 2:I watched Mission Impossible 7 or 8 Dead. Reckoning Part 1.
Speaker 1:Okay, how'd you feel? I still actually haven't gotten that far. It's too long.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's too long, it's like two and a half hours, Daniel. Oh, it's like 2 hours and 45 minutes, I think.
Speaker 1:Even longer Pretty easy watch.
Speaker 2:You know it's like I've been watching all the old j the new, you know, the james bond movies, the ones they've made in the past. Yeah, daniel craig, because I've never seen, I don't think almost any of them I've watched. I've watched most of them now and I love rebecca.
Speaker 1:Wait, you've never watched. You just mean the daniel craig era. Okay, I thought you meant like in general, you'd never seen james bond and that was gonna be a different conversation. Okay, yeah, okay, continue.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I watched them all up to about moonraker and then a few after that, and then I kind of petered out of.
Speaker 1:You know just did you see golden eye with pierce brosnan? I don't know. Do me a favor watch golden eye with pierce brosnan.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but continue it's still that it's. And those daniel craig ones, they just like they're really well made, they're legit.
Speaker 1:Really well made. Yeah, you know they're like, so don't expect that GoldenEye. Silly fun oh silly fun. It's like a fun Bond movie, but the Daniel Craig ones are like legit actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they're really just nice to watch. And I found that in the Mission Impossible also. I don't think it was as good as the James Bond movies, sure, sure. And, like you say, they did some weird stuff where they kind of had cameras attached to the outside of cars and you'd be kind of there was like the one where they drive around oh, you haven't seen it. But there's this one scene where they do a big long driving one and it kind of goes into its second half and then it's sort of handled differently in the second half, which is kind of weird, and then it's sort of handled differently in the second half, which is kind of weird.
Speaker 1:You're like why is it being handled differently? Why did we?
Speaker 2:switch all of a sudden. It's really strange, but yeah, it was entertaining.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think in general the last couple of Mission Impossible they found like a nice stride where they're like this is what we are, this is what we do, and we kind of get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I saw the first one in theaters and then I don't know if I saw the second one.
Speaker 1:Then I watched the one with You're not missing much from the second one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I watched Is the third one, the one with what's his name, that killed himself. It's the bad guy.
Speaker 1:Did Philip Seymour Hoffman kill himself? I thought he, like died of drugs. Well, that's I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, I see, I see what you're saying you take a bunch of drugs and you die. I mean it's not I guess it's unintentional killing yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean like I take a lot of drugs all the time and I'm living. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, no, that's Philip Seymour Hoffman as the bad guy, which is wonderful. It's interesting, he's wonderful is what I mean? Yeah, he's amazing.
Speaker 2:You're like, oh yeah, I could watch him all day, but it was like kind of like, yeah, it's a movie okay, yeah, and that that's a jj abrams film.
Speaker 1:Oh, so that's. You know that's got a very abramsy vibe to it, which I, you know I like them all I enjoy.
Speaker 2:So is it after that that they sort of picked up and sort of became what they were gonna be like?
Speaker 1:how the fast and the furious kind of like has a different vibe for the first three or whatever. And then like finds itself in four mission impossible. Three is kind of like it, it restarts and it's like oh, okay, I see what we can do with this. And then four, they're like we got it, okay, we get it.
Speaker 2:And then they just kind of skyrocket after watch four and I watched the first half of the first episode of the new Time Bandits, taika Waititi's Time Bandits that's on my list On Apple. I really, really, really liked it, really liked it. I thought it was super interesting. I thought there was some stuff that was good. I thought that it you know, because I love that movie as a kid, young adult, and so I was just like I don't know man and I'm like it made sense.
Speaker 2:It felt, you know, and I really liked the kid, even though other people have said the kid's incredibly annoying. I thought the kid was picture perfect.
Speaker 1:What a sad thing to say about a kid actor. By the way, like he's a child, let's just let him be. I think more like the character's annoying.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, yeah, I understand I did not find the character annoying at all. All right, I don't know, I'm going to go back and watch some more of it.
Speaker 1:I'm excited to watch it. I feel like it's been a minute since I've seen Lisa Kudrow in something, so I'm excited to see that again.
Speaker 2:She's very much her Sure. It's not perfect or anything, but I'm like maybe after three or four episodes they get an ensemble going between all the characters and you're like oh this is working, so I have high hopes.
Speaker 2:All right, I love it. Tony, if you like our movie, our show, give us a thumbs up or subscribe, or even leave a comment. That helps us with the algorithm. We got a lot of views on the John Carter warlord of Mars, so any comments? No, we had a couple of comments, but I think they were from, like you and Todd, you know, maybe Michael Fleming.
Speaker 1:Did I comment? I don't even remember.
Speaker 2:I black out sometimes people I I knew, I know Todd had a comment and someone else I knew commented, so it was mostly just us talking to ourselves. Good old Todd, we had like 78 views on that one.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, good for that Boy. That's huge for us.
Speaker 2:We got a thumbs down from someone Not surprisingly From John Carter, of course. I feel like we're pretty. Not surprisingly From John Carter, of course. Like when you do a movie, I feel like we are pretty kind. But when you do a movie like that, those kind of movies that are being reassessed by a lot, of science fiction fans. You're always going to get a person to be like. This movie is incredible. Shut up you stupid commenters.
Speaker 1:I feel like they must not have watched the whole thing because I feel like I liked it and I said that throughout the thing. So I think that they didn't watch the whole thing because I feel like I liked it and I said that throughout the thing. So I think that they're being.
Speaker 2:They didn't watch the whole show and that's on them. How about that? I don't think so yeah. So, tony, give us a movie. We need a movie. We're so out of movies. We haven't seen any movies in so long I'm almost copping out.
Speaker 1:If I'm being honest, this is almost a cop-out choice. I will tell you that todd sent me one oh, that we are going to do, but not this week. But I did watch the trailer. Todd, if you are making it this far in the pod, I did watch the trailer and I lost my shit, so I'm very excited to do that.
Speaker 1:Uh, but it was so thematic and you've already mentioned it today and I was like I need a fucking futuristic sports movie. That's what I wanted this to be. So we're gonna watch rollerball, but not the old one we're going to watch the remake of Rollerball with my boy, chris Klein, and it's going to be great God.
Speaker 2:I'm trying, I think.
Speaker 1:I watched it. I think I did. I know that I've seen it, but I do not remember it at all.
Speaker 2:I mean the first. Have you ever seen the original, the James Caan?
Speaker 1:I haven't seen. I think we watched the James Caan one before we went and saw this in theaters back in 02, because that was my high school years. Yeah, so I think that I've seen. I saw the both of them like 20 years ago the James Caan one is a.
Speaker 2:you know it's a movie, it's cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a cool movie. So I think I'm going to do the same thing this week, where I watch them both.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, yeah, that seems like a good idea. Okay, well, cool, we're going to do Rollerball. That'll be fun. I mean it's because, yeah, I've definitely seen it. Yeah, I've definitely seen it, and I think there are some really dopey things in it.
Speaker 1:But I think it's pretty fun too. I think so too. It's pretty fun.
Speaker 2:It's got a bit, it's got to be fun, right, let's just keep doing fun movies, movies that you don't. You don't watch 10 minutes of a go like I need to find something else to do for a little while yeah this, no, this will be good I I got a good feeling about it well, great, uh. Thanks everybody for coming along for the ride and we'll be back talking about rollerball next week on your YouTube channel.
Speaker 1:Alright, goodbye everybody.