Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Ever wondered if you could turn a piece of paper into a whistle? We kick off our latest episode with a fun and quirky experiment that sets the stage for a comprehensive critique of the Marvel Universe, focusing on the Fox Marvel movies. From an in-depth look at "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" to a lively discussion about the upcoming Deadpool and Wolverine crossover, we cover it all. You'll get the scoop on the notorious work print leak of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" that led to over 10 million downloads – all thanks to Rupert Murdoch's slip-up.
Remember the thrill and disappointment of watching "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"? We do too. Join us as we share our personal experiences of watching the film, from midnight movie screenings to the complications of downloading content back in the day. We dissect the plot, performances, and execution, highlighting Hugh Jackman's standout moments and comparing them to the more successful "Logan." Our analysis tears into the film's narrative flaws, character inconsistencies, and those infamous adamantium claws, ultimately reflecting on what could have been a much stronger movie.
To wrap up, we take a critical look at Wolverine's interactions with characters like Sabretooth and Gambit, questioning the logic behind certain plot points and decisions. We break down key fight scenes, analyze Wolverine's peculiar abilities, and even dive into absurd costume choices and misguided character portrayals. Plus, we sprinkle in our thoughts on recent media hits like "Crimetastic" on YouTube and share our excitement for nostalgic upcoming films like "Bad Boys Ride or Die" and the new "Beverly Hills Cop" movie. Don't miss our teaser for next week's review of "John Carter" – it promises to be a blast!
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I? You know, I tried that, dan. Nobody seemed to care that I was playing video games. What the fuck?
Speaker 2:What. What is that?
Speaker 1:It's a piece of paper. Piece of paper, you're just playing some music on it. Yeah, I've never seen this before in my life.
Speaker 2:You can turn any piece of paper into a whistle. You know that right.
Speaker 1:I don't know anything of the sort.
Speaker 2:If you take a piece of paper, you hold it between your two fingers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you blow. Hold on. I got some paper over here. Actually, I don't have any paper over here. I have a birthday card from my sister. Will that work? Too thick, too thick. Is there an envelope? Doesn't do nothing, is there an envelope? Yeah, there's an envelope. Yeah, there's an envelope. Yeah, there's an envelope. So now do I have to fold it a certain way? No, no, no.
Speaker 2:What you do is tear it off so you have a nice clean piece of not gum I'll tear off the top here, not gum A little ASMR.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's good right. People love that.
Speaker 2:That's good right you just want one thickness, not both thicknesses of the envelope, just one fold it between your fingers and then blow right on it, do it the wide way wide way like this.
Speaker 1:Now do I put my lips on it? Uh, oh, you're blowing, am I doing?
Speaker 2:it. Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan, I'm Tony, I'm Dan, I'm Tony. This is the only show on the internet that dares to criticize the Marvel Universe.
Speaker 1:Is this Marvel Like? It's not.
Speaker 2:Marvel proper?
Speaker 1:for sure I don't know, Because it's the Fox. Yeah, it's Marvel adjacent because this is like the Fox Marvel, which is not. I don't think anyone would consider that Marvel Marvel.
Speaker 2:Well, they're both about to impregnate each other and spit out a new baby. Birth out a new baby Can't wait for that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they are. I love babies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so each week we watch a movie. This week Tony picked the movie, and he did pick a movie that's actually relevant for what's happening.
Speaker 1:What's happening right now? Yeah, I mean, I thought you know what I mean, because you know we got Deadpool Wolverine. Is it the Wolverine? Is it Deadpool slash Wolverine?
Speaker 2:I'm sure Deadpool's going to be slash Wolverine we have a new.
Speaker 1:Deadpool movie coming out, in which Wolverine is also in it. So I thought let's go back to their beginnings and see where they started. We'll do one of those Instagram like how it started, how it's going I hate those, by the way, but you know we'll do one of those and this is, of course, x-men wolverine.
Speaker 2:that's that's wolverine um yeah, wolverine 2009 hour and 48 minutes, maybe an hour and 47 minutes, depending on who you talk to. Um the the neat work print was it was was 107 minutes, and then they said that it's the same length as the movie and I, when I turned on this movie, it was an hour and 48 minutes, so I don't know if we got an extra minute or if they made it a little wider.
Speaker 1:Made it a little wider. Now we got a full 37 seconds of extra goodies. That's what it is. I can feel it. They said that?
Speaker 2:Do you remember when the word crankankout leaked on this movie?
Speaker 1:Not at all. No, I don't even. That doesn't even sound familiar to me.
Speaker 2:Basically the whole movie got leaked on the internet. Oh shit, and 10 million people, 10 million downloads.
Speaker 1:They said that's what they estimated 10 million, so more people saw it then than saw it in the theaters.
Speaker 2:I would, I would, I would gather this movie did pretty good, don't don't, oh, did it do well.
Speaker 1:Oh good, that's good. I saw it in the theaters, I'll tell you that much I saw it somewhere. I I don't think I saw it in the theaters, but I think maybe I watched it on video fairly early um this was one of our midnight movies back in the day.
Speaker 2:Oh okay. The way it got leaked Was Through Rupert Murdoch. They made him up a quick Quickie version and got it to him, and they weren't super careful With the security.
Speaker 1:He didn't do it on purpose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not saying Rupert Murdoch himself, but it seems like that's where it occurred you got to encrypt that stuff.
Speaker 1:I don't know what that means, but you got to do it. You got to keep it safe, keep it secret.
Speaker 2:And one guy went to jail for a year for oh, no, kidding. It seems like he was one of the guys that maybe bounced it up to one of the places where everybody got access to it because he wasn't like the One of the torrent sites.
Speaker 1:That's words.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yes.
Speaker 1:You've never been a torrenter, Dan. You never stole good, because piracy is a crime.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'll be honest, I have done it.
Speaker 2:If I'm being fully transparent government, I have done it. I don't like it and it wasn't by choice, but I have done it. I was like, could you get a text for this? And I was like, yeah, he's like could you go there and have it generate a barcode or a QR code, Because we don't want people saying their information anymore.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, Because normally you give them your name. So I was like, yeah, ok.
Speaker 2:And then I start it and I'm like, oh man, it's not working. He's like you can get on the CVS Wi-Fi, so you can get on the CVS Wi-Fi. So I got on the CVS Wi-Fi, finally got in there. It's like what's your password? I'm like I don't know what my password is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. I made that 12 years ago.
Speaker 2:Shannon's just standing there, like what have I?
Speaker 1:created. How did I get here in my life? So we figured it out. I feel like my wife feels that way every day.
Speaker 2:We're so set up now, so, point being, I couldn't download stuff if I wanted to, so yeah, so they're coming out with the Deadpool Wolverine movie. This is the famed Deadpool movie, where Deadpool has Cyclops' powers. Forgot that he had Cyclops' powers.
Speaker 1:And a teleportation power. You know, just like Deadpool does in the comics.
Speaker 2:And knives in his arms.
Speaker 1:Right, yep, come, just like Wolverine, great stuff.
Speaker 2:So, like you, I saw this movie. You know, maybe not in the theater, but you know, within the first year I was just like what is this?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what are we doing? What are we doing? What kind of a plan was that? Here's the thing. I like the story, the overall story of Wolverine freeing mutants that are being experimented on. I like that story, oh sure.
Speaker 2:That's not what the story is, though Everything else is bullshit.
Speaker 1:I like that one kernel that they have in there. That's what you need to build the movie around, because that feels like a wolverine type movie you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:sure, well, that's what. That's what logan is right in the end. I mean pretty much yeah.
Speaker 1:So they just later. They're just like, let's, let's do a better wolverine movie. And then they did.
Speaker 2:It was great you watched that logan movie and you're like you know, when there's the whole thing where Professor X's brain explodes in the hotel, you're like this is a scene, sure.
Speaker 1:This is a scene.
Speaker 2:Everything in this I like. You know, things are going haywire. Wolverine isn't just doing whatever he wants, he's limited in tons and tons of ways. This movie Wolverine, just like I, killed everyone. I killed everyone. Answer this question. No, kill you or whatever. Pass Knives.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:His level of conflict in this movie? Is it zero?
Speaker 1:I think it's zero. I don't know if it's zero. I think there's one moment in this movie, one moment, okay. It's when it's when he realizes that everything was just to convince him to put the adamantium in his bones. Adamantium in his bones like when he when he when the first second, when he realizes they killed his wife, girlfriend, lady. Just to come to this moment, there is some real acting there that I really liked. Oh, okay, that's it. It lasted 30 seconds, 30 to 35 seconds, but I was like there he is, there's hugh, he's good man. I mean, the guy can, sorry, no, go, go, go he can act.
Speaker 1:Even in this movie.
Speaker 2:His acting is fine. That's not the problem. The problem is that they don't put him in. He doesn't end up in any complex situations where he has to act or 100%.
Speaker 2:He gets helped out by the old people and they get killed. People and they get killed. And you know, I, I'm immediate, this is this, this movie is. It's such a hollywood movie that every scene you sort of dig into and get to you're, you're reminded of a scene that happens in another movie. Sure, yeah, that makes you go like, ah, you know and and you know when, when ma and pa can't get killed, you're, you're reminded of the accountant when he's out on the farm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I rewatched that whole movie a month or two ago and you're just like yeah, everything about this movie is what a movie should be.
Speaker 1:It's great, everything is great. Can't wait for the second one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and this movie you watch and you're like every choice, every path they go down, you're just like oh, I mean, it's not terrible, it's not stupid, but it's just like it doesn't, doesn't take us anywhere.
Speaker 1:there's just a dead end after dead end after dead end of of no emotional stakes and no character stakes which is weird, because a lot of people, for as little emotional stakes as there are, there are a lot of people that die close to the main character. You feel like there should be some. What is the word? Pathos, pathos? I feel like there should be some of that in here. There's not. There's really not.
Speaker 2:Anything else you want to say before we start really really digging in there. Tony, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Before we just get our claws right in the meat of it, um, I would. The only thing I want to say, right is that it, I get it and you watch the movie and you're like, yes, hugh jackman as wolverine is great, it works, it's wonderful. Let's put him in a real gosh darn movie, for the love of God, because he's amazing, that's it. That's all that happens when I watch this movie. That's how I feel, and I also feel like Liev Schreiber is one of my favorite actors. Just, hands down, I fucking love this guy.
Speaker 1:Terrible casting choice as Sabretooth, but great in the movie, and what I mean by that is saber tooth is supposed to be like a six, five hulking massive guy, to to like be the opposite of wolverine, who's like a small stocky, you know, badass, so that when they, when they have their conflict, like it's, it's, but you know they're the same size, human, which is fine, but but as a villain and his acting is top notch it should just not be Sabretooth, maybe Wild pitch, just give him someone else to be, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So we start the movie and we find out that they were kids together and maybe they're half brothers.
Speaker 1:Maybe they have parents.
Speaker 2:Maybe the parents kill each other. Maybe one's rich and one's not rich. Maybe somebody cheated on somebody we don't even sure, you don't know anything about that. And it's like ah, here we are. First scene of the movie is going to set up the central conflict of the entire movie.
Speaker 1:You're like, Nope, we don't address any of this ever, through the entirety of the movie no, nope, yeah, I mean, listen, terrible scene. Uh, just awful. That doesn't make any sense. Don't need to see it. It it's literally nothing, it's a zero, and it's just confusing because you get two people that are being called father in the same scene in which neither of them are in. So it's the mom or it's like one of the dads, and then the two boys and he's like your father father, your father father, my mother and I was like I don't who's, who is who. I don't know. There's three adults, I don't know which one's which.
Speaker 2:If I'm being honest, you know, like in the Spider-Man, and you have Uncle Ben and Aunt May. We, if I'm being honest, you know like in a Spider-Man and you have uncle Ben and aunt may. We don't ever really ask who's his real parent. We just understand that dude's uncle Ben, that's who's aunt may. He lives with the two of them Eventually at aunt may is going to be like the hottest woman on the planet. Okay, we get it. Um, in this one, we're introduced to all these characters that mean nothing.
Speaker 1:This one, we're introduced to all these characters that mean nothing and yeah, you're just like huh. Yeah, I mean, the reason why Uncle Ben and I may work is because you know who they are. Right Like they're into comics. They are a staple. These people are made up, as far as I can tell. I'm sure I'm sure they both have dads, I think I don't know, I don't care, that doesn't matter to me. Wolverine and Sabretooth they shouldn't be related. First of all, that's weird, the whole thing's just weird. Don't put it in the movie, then we get this whole thing that basically the two of them are immortals.
Speaker 2:Wolverine's claws are bones. And that's when I just shut the movie. I remember when I first saw this movie I just shut off. I was just like what what? No, they, they put a machine in him. That's the clause. The reason they put that machine in him is because he's got an adamantium skeleton and he can. And you know it's like. You know, does it hurt? You, there's a comic panel in there, you know where they're like does it hurt when they come out? And he, he's like yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:Every time yeah.
Speaker 2:And if that was part of his adaptation, that would not be the case.
Speaker 1:Right yeah, it would just be normal. Right yeah, I don't also like that actually feels like a really bad power to just get bones that come out of you and are exposed to everything you know what I mean like you're gonna get fucked up well no, they're like dangerous bones, they're like bitter, but I understand that they're dangerous bones, but they're still just bones.
Speaker 1:Though bones break, bro, like yeah, I can, I can stab you with them, it seems, but if you come at me at an angle, I'm fucked. You're just gonna snap my bones in half it just feels weird.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It was interesting. I was reading about, um, they have gambit in this movie and they were like well, gambit can you know turn things into that, and but of course also he's impervious to everything also right which is not right. It's just not right at all is that I don't, I don't, I. I read some gambit comics, but I didn't read him when he was really, you know, the 90s, when he was like a primary character did you watch the cartoon?
Speaker 2:no, I have not watched the new card. I mean, I maybe watched part of one of them.
Speaker 1:I was like but did you watch the 90s cartoon in the 90s? Yeah, in the 90s, okay, so you didn't watch either of the cartoons. Okay, that explains a lot. So, gambit, his power is kinetic energy, right, he charges, he quote, unquote, charges things with kinetic energy. And then he just chose playing cards because apparently when you charge them you can throw them like darts. I don't totally get that idea, I don't, but you know, that's like, that's pretty much it. He could just charge things. He's not impervious to pain or anything. I don't know. It's weird these things to. They just kind of played fast and loose.
Speaker 2:So they could be able to fight each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I mean that's, that's it. They're just like how can you keep up with Wolverine? Oh, you also have to be invulnerable.
Speaker 2:So basically they just like to change things whole cloth for these movies and you're just like, yes, are you? If there was like some great benefit for changing things whole cloth, you'd be like OK. If there was like some great benefit for changing things whole cloth, you'd be like okay. But you can't just give Gambit like magic powers Cause you don't want him to be knocked out when Wolverine hits him in the face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, it's weird and all like it. Just it's weird because I mean, we don't really do it anymore. Obviously, they're pretty faithful now, obviously, but at the time it's just like every time you do that it's worse. You never shoot, they never made something better. They have to know that. They have to know.
Speaker 2:No, they always think they're making it better because this thing went through lots of reshoots and whatever. Okay, so he has the bony claws. We follow them through all these different World, you know, world War I, world War II, vietnam.
Speaker 1:Just a horrible credit sequence. It's just what is with these cheesy still frames that they keep doing. I don't know, it's really ugly. I hate it.
Speaker 2:And in like Vietnam, there's implications that Sabretooth's raping people and then I don't even Implications, like almost too light.
Speaker 1:I know he doesn't do it, but he's got her on the bed and it's like now, like that's more than an implication. That's that straight up. It's always sunny because of the implication like that's dangerous stuff, it's weird and then you have saber-toothed wolverines surrounded by like six marines who capture them.
Speaker 1:Yep, I think they just let them capture. You know like that must be what it is, because they could murder them in an instant. And also, let's talk about this for just one second. One second. If you're on the beaches of normandy dan, and you're one of the people running out of these boats which seems like the worst thing in the history of the world right, you're running out, boom, boom, boom, you get shot. I'm down, I'm laying on the beach and I look to my left and Wolverine is just running, getting shot all over the place, but still going. I would be so mad, I would be so mad that we sent me this guy can't be killed. And you send me me this guy can't be killed, and you send me fuck you.
Speaker 2:That's, that's all that. Those would be my last thoughts. I'd be so mad as you bled out, yeah, and then you wouldn't be able to complain to anybody I'd be up in heaven at the pearly gates being like whoa, whoa, whoa, send me back right now. That's bullshit yeah it's, it's just weird. And then get captured and then Striker comes there and is like you're just the boys.
Speaker 1:I'm looking for. Don't forget about the firing squad, do they?
Speaker 2:fire and squad them too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're going to kill them via firing squad and Liev looks over and he goes wake me when it's over. Which is a fun line, but what's happening? So then they just shoot them a bunch of times and then throw them back into a holding cell. At what point do they just kill everyone and run away? I don't get it.
Speaker 2:Like you'd keep tying them up. You'd be like they're dead. You'd throw them in the dead pile and then they'd wake up and leave.
Speaker 1:And they'd wake up and just walk off. I don't know, it's bizarre.
Speaker 2:So yeah. So here comes Stryker. Stryker's like come on, it's the 60s. You know, let's join a team. It's the 60s.
Speaker 1:And wear contemporary clothing?
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm assuming they were wearing contemporary clothing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, they were for sure yeah, so we cut.
Speaker 2:They're part of the team. The team is made up of Dominic Moynihan, who controls the electronics, william, who, I guess, can teleport Sabretooth who can? Run up a building.
Speaker 1:Well, he grows snails. He grows his snail sap, just like me.
Speaker 2:He's the guy you have running up a building To sit on top of a building. Yeah yeah, it doesn't make any sense, I don't know you have Ryan Reynolds as Wade Williams, who's going to be Deadpool, who has swords come out of his arms, for no, reason Not yet. Oh no, he uses swords.
Speaker 1:He uses swords and then they give him the swords inside of his arms which, if you think about it, they're too long. To do that, dan. The swords that come out of his arm are longer than whatever. What is this? Radius and ulna or whatever. It's too long. He'd be stiff arm. He'd be like this is how we would walk around. Be like what's wrong with your elbows? Like I got swords in them. I can't bend my arms anywhere so stupid.
Speaker 2:With your elbows like I got swords in them, I can't bend my arms anywhere so stupid then we got this one guy who's like agent zero, who's really good with a gun you can shoot people.
Speaker 1:Is that a real guy? I I've never. I don't know who that is in the comics. I'm sure it's real, but I didn't find him in the comics I. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:So they're in Lagos. Oh, and then they have the blob who's just named Fred and hasn't become big. There's a makeup we don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1:Oh boy, but he's great. Let me just say I love that actor and he has fun with it, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everyone enjoys themselves. I mean William's, fine too.
Speaker 1:You know he's not great. Though I wouldn't say he's good, I'd be like, okay, he's alright, but if I'm looking at this movie, he would not be the person that I'm like yeah, you should work more, that's all. I'm saying, I know, I'm saying he should be fired, but you know, maybe, just maybe one or two little parts here and there, but you're not gonna have a career well, I am background uh actor.
Speaker 2:So they're attacking lagos. This guy in lagos has has some vibranium which they're gonna make into adamantium and and basically that's what they're there for. How they know that it's there?
Speaker 1:who knows, doesn't make much sense.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think even the dude who has it doesn't even know what it is right.
Speaker 1:No, he said something like it was a gift or something Like he doesn't know what it is.
Speaker 2:I just keep this on my table because I think it's cute or cool, and you're just like well cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a fancy paperweight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they should be invading them, like where they're like using that you know, they're smelting at Vibranium into Edmanthium, and then they're like oh, these guys we found you shot somebody. But suffice it to say we have this scene where it's like one guy does one thing. One guy does one thing. We have an elevator scene.
Speaker 1:Wade Williams goes like this with his sword, so no one can shoot him.
Speaker 2:No, you don't. The elevator scene was terrible.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no. I like the elevator scene. Let me tell you why Because I like Ryan Reynolds in this part of the movie. Yeah, no, that was it that Ryan Reynolds in this part of the movie? Yeah, no, that was it. That was. That was the whole explanation.
Speaker 2:Dan.
Speaker 1:Were you expecting more? When I say I liked this, I just mean like it wasn't painful and I was like oh, this is, this is a Colonel again, of something that you could have made a movie Like I don't mind Ryan Reynolds, I love Ryan Reynolds. It's like yeah, this makes sense, let's give him a real movie where you can do some stuff with it yeah, but in the pantheon of elevator scenes sure it's terrible.
Speaker 1:What's the? What's your favorite one? Is it um? Is it the chris evans one? Oh no, I forgot the name of it, disregard oh, you mean a winter soldier no, I mean, that is a good one.
Speaker 2:First, of all, that's the best elevator fight scene yeah, there's.
Speaker 1:There's this one where he's listening to don't stop believing and he's going up the elevator and someone's like picking people off while he's singing. He's pretending to be the delivery guy. It's really great. It's seldana is in it. I think it's Idris Elba. It's based on a comic book, I can't remember. Oh the Blake one.
Speaker 2:No, not that one.
Speaker 1:Chris Evans, zoe Saldana movie the Losers. It's called the Losers and it's a great movie 2010. It also has Jeffrey Dean Morgan Sexiest man Alive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know if I've seen that one or not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you should see it just for that scene. It's a really fun scene.
Speaker 2:But my favorite elevator scene which isn't the elevator scene but it's the same scene is the suicide squad with with Harley Quinn and all you know. Just the jokes in that one. You know James Gunn with that kind of, with that type, if you give him a James Gunn, a classic scene, he's going to plus it up. Sure kind of classic scene he's going to plus it up.
Speaker 2:tell, sure tell, it works exactly how it's supposed to work this thing is just like ah, throw in an elevator scene because it doesn't make you know we got nothing, because it'll be funny. You're like well, yeah, okay, the jokes are fine, yeah yeah, yeah, they're fine.
Speaker 1:So okay, yeah, so he, we get out of the elevator and then apparently deadpool's power is, yeah, some sort of really fast sword twirling so he can stop every bullet ever shot at him and he can cut him down in the air too. Come, yeah, I, that's again. That's not it. That's not what he does. I don't know. But also let me ask you a question, dan ask me a question you've got a team of people that can all do certain things.
Speaker 1:One of them, whose name is Logan, cannot die by bullets. One of them, wade Wilson, can die by bullets but apparently has very fast swords. Which one are you going to send into the room? Maybe the guy that, even if he does get shot, is going to be fine? I would think that that would be my choice.
Speaker 2:Yes, you're correct, but here's my bigger. The bigger point is Stryker's in the elevator with them. Okay, what's your bigger point? Stryker, normal human being, is in the elevator with them and, more importantly, sabretooth's on the roof.
Speaker 1:For an unknowable reason, sabretooth could have just climbed up, the thing gone through the window killed the guy brought in the rock.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm reminded of Civil War, where we have the beginning, one in that which is Cap Falcon, scarlet Witch, black Widow, beginning, one in that which is cap falcon, scarlet witch uh, black widow, and we see them execute. Just everything is. Everyone's there for a reason. Everyone does something, things are constantly happening. At one point they go from point a to point b and, captain, america is just there and you're you say to yourself, well, he just got there, some captain, you know, he like jumped on top of the car. You know, you, you don't go like, well, how did he get 17 miles away? You're like, well, of course he got the. He, he had time to get there, so we don't have to see what he's. You know, everything is, four characters are working in parallel lines. As opposed to that, it's parallel lines versus straight line. This is a straight line battle where one person does one thing, one at a time, and it's nothing.
Speaker 1:But they're also the wrong people. Not only are they all doing their own jobs, but they're doing the wrong jobs, like they just picked. It's as if they pick straws and we're like well, I would be better at this. He's like but I got the short straw, bro. You can't, you can't go against the straw, so I'm gonna do it, even though I might die.
Speaker 2:It's ridiculous yes, saber tooth on, literally on top of the building just wasted, just absolutely wasted, yeah you know you send him off to do the whole perimeter. You know you're like saber tooth go kill everyone on the perimeter.
Speaker 1:He's like and got it and then he does, he's back in minutes.
Speaker 2:He's just back. You know he's spending 10 minutes killing everyone in the whole compound. He comes back and he's got like three guys' heads and he's like everyone is dead. Great, great.
Speaker 1:Great stuff.
Speaker 2:So we get the thing. Then we go where's the meteor? They go to the meteor place. They have the whole village already on their knees and then Wolverine's like stop killing people, I'm friendly Wolverine, I'm just leaving.
Speaker 1:And then everyone's like, oh, he's leaving, okay. I guess my favorite part is Liev Schreiber gets a nice line where he's like we can't just let you walk away, as he's walking away and nobody stops him, they just start yelling logan, logan. I said you can't walk away, why are you still walking? I can't believe it doesn't. Why give that line? You can't give the line if you're not going to follow up with it immediately. It's so weird. It drives me absolutely crazy when they do that.
Speaker 2:They gave you the line Tony, the line you dreamt about. It's my favorite line.
Speaker 1:And then he's mid-walking away when he says it oh boy.
Speaker 2:Six years later, logan is living in the Canadian Rockies. He's got a sexy girlfriend. Their first kiss super terrible. Their second kiss in front of people better Sometimes people like an audience dan um he works as a lumber dude uh, dude, that's a better, that's a good title.
Speaker 1:I would like to make that my job, please um, we cut away.
Speaker 2:Dominic moynihan is working in the carnival and saber tooth shows up and kills him. Don't you think we should have not known that was saber? You know, because they, we, we kind of set up this fake narrative that saber tooth is killing the old team. I don't know it was. I mean, all these kind of narratives they set up are like so thin. Yeah, you're like, yeah, sabretooth's going to be out there killing the old team under his own volition. What?
Speaker 1:Well, if anything, it should be a multi-step reveal. You know what I mean. Like Moynihan should die. And we're like, oh, who's killing off the old team? And then Logan figures out that it's saber-tooth and he's like, wait, why would? Why are you doing it? And then we find out it's not saber-tooth, it's actually the guy that was bad all along, like at least. Then it's a mystery throughout. But then this is like, oh, it's, it's saber-tooth. Why would he be doing this? This doesn't make any sense. And then we go 20 minutes before. We're like, oh, okay, he's working with striker. What's happening? This is dumb, I don't know.
Speaker 2:At least keep me guessing and, more importantly, why is he so he's doing it, the trick wolverine into joining the thing to find out I think they're just stealing everyone's powers, but in order to do that, they're also like executing them, I think for some reason.
Speaker 1:But all the young ones?
Speaker 2:they kept. Why don't they just take him into? You know, sabretooth can just walk out there and go, like this bam and take him.
Speaker 1:Sure, I see what you're saying. I don't know, man. Okay, this movie doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2:Wolverine has nightmares. He cuts the girlfriend. Her name is Silver Fox. She comforts him, even though cut Stryker shows up at the lumberyard. There's Agent Zero with him and he's all like you've got to come work for us and he's like go after yourself.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah great.
Speaker 2:Goes to get the girlfriend who works at a school. They sort of almost has a fight with guys on the bridge and then she sort of calms him and calms them and everyone's calm and you're like, oh, did she know?
Speaker 1:she had powers right then, okay, they told you it's too obvious. Yeah, well, because I think the problem is logan goes. How did you do that? If you take that line out, I think it's fine. I don't think I would know. You know, because, like you know the female persuasion, she might be able to subdue a fight between two dudes. You know what I mean. But they made it very obvious. And then again, the whole time I was like, well, why was she a mutant? Why is she a mutant if they're just gonna kill her? What's? When is that gonna come back?
Speaker 2:and then it does come back, and then I'm not surprised you know you're correct and but I want to also talk talk to the bigger thing of what are Logan's powers.
Speaker 1:Regeneration, yep, regeneration, keep going, good looks. Is that one of them? What else does he have? Height and speed, smell and smell, right and strength. He's strong, he's fast, strong, smells, you know, because he's an animal.
Speaker 2:And what do they say at one point very early on in this thing what does he use that smell to do? Tell if someone's telling the truth or lying. Oh right, yeah, that smell to do tell if someone's telling the truth or lying.
Speaker 1:Oh right, yeah, oh right, yeah. What can you point? Because he says that. In what was it? Lagos? Yes, when they're talking to the dude, yeah, yeah, that's right, you're right. I actually forgot about that and he can smell everything.
Speaker 2:so if somebody's been with somebody he can can smell that he should smell everything. You know, like come in there.
Speaker 1:He doesn't though.
Speaker 2:If you've been cavorting with cats and you come in there to your dog your dog is going to know. You've been out there cavorting with cats. Isn't that dog going to be able to know that Instantaneously?
Speaker 1:Both know that to be honest with you, because when I go somewhere with a dog and I come, back.
Speaker 2:My cat is pissed. He is mad at me.
Speaker 1:Animals' senses are powerful and Wolverine is supposed to have the best senses of anyone, I think, on the planet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, you're absolutely right. And if you look at all the, in a lot of ways you can't be duplicitous around him. She kind of can, because she can control him a bit. Sure, yeah, but Stryker and all those people who have been around other people, they can't do that. He'll smell them, yeah, but we don't ever.
Speaker 1:He'll smell them.
Speaker 2:We never play with that.
Speaker 1:That's a funny way of putting it, though.
Speaker 2:They have sexy times. She tells this whole story about the moon and she gives him the name wolverine. That's the name we're gonna give you. Um out there logging victor stops silver fox. Logan smells him from miles away, right doesn't he smell?
Speaker 1:him from miles away he does, yeah, and then he just starts running, running through the woods he runs there, gets there.
Speaker 2:Silver fox is dead, which we're to find out later. She was working for striker and they gave her a magic pill which makes his senses unable to tell that she's. You know, I'm sorry he. He is an animal. He knows if she's living or not, whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's tough, it's tough stuff.
Speaker 2:Maybe he's just so emotional he's not paying attention. So, boom, he goes to a bar where Sabretooth is and they fight and Sabretooth just kicks his ass.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you a question, dan, almost unrelated to what you just said. Yep, so Sabretooth. When he hears Logan coming up, he turns to the bar owner guy and he's like do you have insurance on this place? Which is like a fun line. But the guy says no, is that possible? Don't you have to have insurance?
Speaker 2:I don't think that's legal. Well of all, this is back in. This is probably in the 70s?
Speaker 1:all right, well, I guess, maybe, yeah, I guess I don't know the laws back then. It just seemed weird to me that he would say no, like I understand they're going for the joke of it, but he should just say, yes, be like, of course I have insurance on my bar, just in case it burns the fuck down.
Speaker 2:What's the joke? He should have said.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know, do you have insurance on your face? No, he should have said. That's what I would have said back to you.
Speaker 2:I think I don't have enough.
Speaker 1:Not enough is a great answer. That's a great answer. You know it's a bad answer. No, I don't have enough. Not enough is a great answer. That's a great answer. You know it's a bad answer. No, I don't. I just. I just fly by the seat of my pants, even though I put my entire life's investment into this bar.
Speaker 2:Most likely, and you know why that's a. You know why that's a bad answer? Because it brings up, it makes you think, a bunch of questions about this poor dude right in the middle of this scene, in the middle of this fight scene.
Speaker 1:All I'm thinking about is this guy's bar and how you think a bunch of questions about this poor dude that can't have insurance on his part In the middle of this fight scene. All I'm thinking about is this guy's bar and how fucked he is in his life.
Speaker 2:And that is exactly you know that is exactly why you yes and is because you know well, I mean, it's actually. This is a different reason why he would yes and he yes and that to raise the stakes for himself. But you know, yeah, I don't know. That's interesting, isn't it?
Speaker 1:but he's not a part of the scene, like we're not gonna come back to him and see him three weeks later trying to rebuild his entire life. I thought that'd be a fun cutaway. That'd be a good cutaway.
Speaker 2:Um. So they have a big fight and wolverine is just beyond outclassed by saber toothoth. And the reason is because for the last six years Wolverine's gone soft.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because of all the loving.
Speaker 2:Shouldn't they have given him a punch or something?
Speaker 1:But I guess he didn't have time to work it out, little dad bod. Yeah, he can pull it off, man, you could pull anything off. You kidding me I just yeah.
Speaker 2:Did you think that the wolf, he should be worse than saber tooth at this point?
Speaker 1:no, and mostly because if he's working as a lumberjack he's still in shape af like. That's not easy work. He's carrying trees everywhere.
Speaker 2:He's chopping down trees. I don't know. It just seemed really like a weird. There should have been a trick. It should have been a trick. He should have cheated or something.
Speaker 2:He should have sucker punched him or caught him off guard or done things that, because when he kills William, he's like. He's like god said something about wolverine, where he's all like. You know, we've been fighting since we were kids and there's one thing I know about you is you're dumb when it comes to the outhouse. You know, and there's an outhouse there, you know he drops the outhouse on him or something great, yeah, no, I mean it should be a year, but it's not.
Speaker 2:I won't worry about it, no reason, they don't want to think that hard, dan, we do a wake up in the hospital thing. Really stupid. There's Striker and he's all like I'm going to oh man, I wrote down all these words, locked him up, he went oh he, he he. Sabretooth went too far and was lying, so I locked him up. He went oh he, he he. Saber tooth went too far and was lying, so I locked him up and then he went awol and then he's gonna kill us all and you have to find him and you have to kill him, and I've got the tools um yeah, okay, yeah how are you supposed to buy any of this?
Speaker 2:if saber tooth wanted to kill striker, he just fucking walked up and killed Striker 24-7, anytime he wants.
Speaker 1:Well listen, Striker is not killable, this guy. Clearly he puts himself in danger all the time. We saw it in that first scene. Right, he doesn't care about nothing, he's fine.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna make you indestructible. I'm going to make you into weapon X. And then they put him in the thing, and then they squirt him full of adamantium Squirt him.
Speaker 1:That's a gross way to put it, squirted.
Speaker 2:And he wakes up and then he runs away and he jumps naked and he runs away, and he jumps naked and he runs away.
Speaker 1:Did. I miss I think I missed something. Well, he ran away because he overheard Stryker say that they were gonna use his DNA or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because that's when we Something like that You're like on the planet If you're just there to steal there's this whole sort of disconnect at this point where you've given him unlimited power and now you're surprised that he has unlimited power.
Speaker 1:Right, well, isn't that how it always works, dan?
Speaker 2:No, no, that's not how it always works.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's more. They're surprised that he's using it against them because he's like I gave you a gift, why would you be so rude about it?
Speaker 2:But I mean, they basically gave him a gift to go kill Sabretooth and they don't need Sabretooth killed.
Speaker 1:Well, that's I mean. That part's true. Yeah, it's not a good hold on. I'm not defending the plan. I'm not saying like you know what Striker this guy's got it together.
Speaker 2:You're like Striker's team. You're like Striker all the way. I'm pro-Striker. Yeah, you're like Stryker's team. You're like Stryker all the way I'm pro-Stryker. Yeah, you're like this is the best planet in the comic book movie. I would follow this guy anywhere.
Speaker 1:This guy's got his head screwed on right.
Speaker 2:It's just like when they set up the world's dumbest plans. You're just like come on, Can't we just have a plan that makes some sense?
Speaker 1:Not, in this movie. You can't.
Speaker 2:In the real comic books they're just trying to make Weapon X, which is the weapon they need, the government needs, and they think they're going to be able to control the guy. And surprise, surprise, you can't control the guy and you can't yeah.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's correct. Similar to this movie, but different.
Speaker 2:So he runs away. Agent Zero's going to go hunt him. So he goes out and finds Ma and Pa Kent who are living out there, and he hides in the barn. And then they make him sleep in the barn and then they give him some food and then they are about to give him their. I guess their kid is dead from being something right.
Speaker 1:What a weird backstory that is unnecessary. But we just put in there for some weird reason, like their kid is dead and they're sad about it, but like this guy is the exact same size as their kid, so they keep giving him his their dead kids clothes, which just brings first of all, how big was their son is? He's like six foot four. Ripped his shit. Like what did he do? Who is this guy? I'm so interested in the sun right now I am forget what's going on in this movie because I mean, he's got a cool motorcycle, he's got sweet clothes and he was jacked as shit. What happened to this kid? Why are you talking about him so much If you're not going to tell me at least what happened? Give me a sob story about what happened, at least.
Speaker 2:And weren't they like? I mean literally, they're about to give him the motorcycle right.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent, a hundred percent. They were just about to. And then this poor woman gets shot through the chest.
Speaker 2:And then the husband gets shot, and then Wolverine has to fight against Agent Zero in a helicopter. I mean, it's fine, it's not bad.
Speaker 1:It's fine. It's not a great-looking scene.
Speaker 2:I guess people complained about the CGI.
Speaker 1:I mean it looked okay on a computer screen, on a 15-inch laptop it looks okay. You should try seeing this in the theater. Stan, it did not look good His claws generally look pretty bad.
Speaker 2:They look pretty generated. Oh, we didn't even talk about that.
Speaker 1:Oh, when he's in the bathroom, dan. When he gets to Mom Pod Kentson, he's in the bathroom and he takes them out. They're huge. They are huge. They look like giant butcher knives. They're so much bigger than they are at any other time in the rest of the movie.
Speaker 2:It is bizarre.
Speaker 1:And then he's like clanging them together and it just looks so bad. It's embarrassing.
Speaker 2:You know why he's clanging them together? Because he had to show that he could light a fire with them.
Speaker 1:Because he has to light a fire later. That's interesting. That's an interesting point. Maybe find a different way to do it, tony, because this don't look good. How do you make fire with metal?
Speaker 2:Spark Right, that counts. You have a flint and steel and what happens is the flint, the steel, is hitting the flint, which is more like a rock, and it's chipping off that rock, and then I think the heat of that is then igniting the little piece of flint, which is a little bit flammable, and you get a spark right. I wasn't very good at Boy Scouts, yeah we know as you hit that, the flint chips off and it gets smaller, right when you're hitting two adamantium together?
Speaker 1:I really do not believe that that's going to.
Speaker 2:Why would that cause fire?
Speaker 1:I don't know Exactly Because of science, dan. To be fair, you've never worked with adamantantium, so you don't really know the properties of it that's true, I don't unlike some of us who know it really well he cut an apc in half.
Speaker 2:He jumped on one and shot him up. Uh, after I kill victor, I'm coming for you. And then Zero laughs about killing Mom, pa Ken, yeah.
Speaker 1:Which is a weird I don't know. Look how evil he is. I don't know, it's real dumb.
Speaker 2:He's super, not evil, he's super like I'm just, you know, he's like I'm the boring Yakuza. You're like, this guy's not, he's not a good character. Not that the dude didn't have anything to play with, but it's just kind of like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, not his fault. Yeah, it's real dumb so.
Speaker 2:Simon Stryker has a gun with adamantium and his idea is that you can shoot him with that and that'll kill him, or at least, yeah, wipe his memory, or at least it'll penetrate.
Speaker 1:Shoot him in the memory.
Speaker 2:now, tony, I shoot wolverine in the. The bullet goes into his thing, I guess breaches the adamantium. So then the adamantium is going to have a hole in it from now on forever, right, right, because the adamantium doesn't heal itself.
Speaker 1:That's not a property of adamantium, as far as I know.
Speaker 2:You'd have to go to Wakanda and get them to fix you at some point.
Speaker 1:Or just like a little Botox injection, right, just fill in that little gap there.
Speaker 2:With Botox, not adamantium, and then the bullet goes in.
Speaker 1:It's a facsimile of a Botox. You just put a little adamantium in a syringe, squeeze it in Just a little touch up. They said that two kids killed themselves after this movie because they ejected themselves with mercury, hoping to get Wolverine bones Wait, but that's first of all. It's not his bones. Is that real it?
Speaker 2:became his bones. Yeah, it fused with his bones.
Speaker 1:It covers his bones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but mercury doesn't do that. Well, these are kids. What kind of kids, like? What age are we talking? Not too bright, all right, I mean, I don't want to talk. That's very sad, isn't that horrible? It is horrible, but also not to. You know, defend things, but like, not the movie's fault.
Speaker 2:Because that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard movies put.
Speaker 1:They put things into people's minds. Well, did comics, did it? First blame the comic books.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's what um scott summers? We set up that he's in school and can't take off his glasses and he's in regular school.
Speaker 1:Is that what's happening?
Speaker 2:yeah, because this is pre him going to savior school, but I don't quite know how he has the red glasses in normal school Right exactly.
Speaker 1:Who made those for him?
Speaker 2:The idea is that you have to pick him up right as because that's the whole thing is your mutant power comes out as you mature and so as you cross that adolescent? Threshold, then it comes out and then you start shooting people with your red beams and then you have to like, put him somewhere apparently just in regular school with homemade glasses.
Speaker 1:I don't know yep somebody just thought to make these glasses for him. He just he went to the eye doctor and and the guy's like I've seen this before, yeah, let me get you some of these red ruby glasses here.
Speaker 2:So his plan is to go seek out all the old members. So he goes to see William who has a gym the blob is there, supposedly the blob knows because he's keeping in touch with people. And then he's like the blob has put on weight and so what happens is wolverine goes out there and immediately starts joking on his weight and calls him bub, which he thinks it says. He thinks he said blob, even though he worked with wolverine for years and wolverine always calls everybody bub and he would understand that he calls him because they worked together for years.
Speaker 1:It's not a new thing. He didn't. He didn't adapt to that. It's not like you know. Now that it's the 70s, I'm gonna call people bub, like he's always done it. That's his, that's just the way, that's his vernacular now why?
Speaker 2:why does he just antagonize him for minute one for no reason?
Speaker 1:well, because wolverine's an asshole. Haven't you seen the rest of the movie, where he's just a horrid, horrid human being? That's.
Speaker 2:I was being sarcastic, damn oh you, yeah, sarcasm it worked sarcasm, yeah, no, I.
Speaker 1:I don't understand at all. It's a total switch of who this guy's been the entire movie.
Speaker 2:You know you can make mistakes you know the bub blob thing you're like I suppose guy's been the entire movie. You know you can make mistakes. You know the bub blob thing You're like I suppose it's not the it's not the worst stretch, but I'll buy it, I guess. But two or three other times he like totally says things just to antagonize it.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm purpose. Here's what I'll say. You know, you know fat people, you know it'll they'll make you angry. You know what does that mean? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to defend my boy hugh. Oh, I was watching this. Uh, there's this guy, richard osmond, who wrote the okay, the midnight murder book, club books, which they're yeah, they're making. Netflix is making the movie right now.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't know that I read that book, the first one. Yeah, uh, he's like a super tall guy. He's like a super tall guy.
Speaker 2:He's like six foot seven and we were watching him on this YouTube channel where people try to talk about their traumas and he's like the thing about it is when you're different every day of your life, people point out that you're different. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And you know. So he's like I mean, he's like I get it five times a day.
Speaker 2:You know like, oh, how's the weather up there? I'm being funny. You know he's a comedian too, so he's just like, sure, of course. Um, I don't know why I told that story. I just thought it was really interesting to think about that sort of aspect of it where it's just like your entire life is an endless barrage of getting shit on you and then, like Wolverine just goes in there and shits on him and then, like your old friend, yeah, comes in and just piles on, cause he's just a bully, wolverine the bully.
Speaker 1:That's weird. It was a bad, super weird.
Speaker 2:They fight and he knocks him out with his head. Okay, yeah it's fine. I, he knocks him out with his head. Okay, yeah, it's fine, I don't know he wins. He's like where's Victor? And he's like he's on the island, like, oh, I don't know where the island is. Okay, they capture Cyclops. Okay.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Then he's got to go find Remy, who's the only guy who's ever gotten off Of the island. Sure, sure, sure.
Speaker 1:Did they go to Vegas is?
Speaker 2:that where they go Vegas.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, I was thinking, I was like.
Speaker 2:New Orleans. That's what I meant.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's where Remy is. But they were In Vegas for something, because we See the welcome to Vegas sign in this movie. I don't think so. I know so because that's I paused it right on it. That's where I stopped for the night and then watched the rest this morning when were we in vegas? I don't know, but it's in the movie, okay, but yeah, remy, remy's in New Orleans.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I go to New Orleans, he meets him, and then meanwhile John's like, oh, I'll cover the back. And then Sabretooth is there.
Speaker 1:Is he within a mile of Wolverine? Well, but you know he's in a club, so his olfactory senses are overloaded, Overloaded.
Speaker 2:Nailed it. Sabretooth just kills John.
Speaker 1:Okay, so this is the part? No, not okay. This drives me crazy. Sabretooth vicious killer. Right he's killing off the team. William sees him. His power is teleportation. Yes, all you do, is you teleport in. You say, hey, wolverine, your brother's here, and then that's it Half a second. You just saved your own life. He would never try to face off against Sabretooth because he can't beat him.
Speaker 2:You mean, you don't think Nightcrawler automatically goes and fights the big bad. He just goes there and steals his helmet so someone else can fight him.
Speaker 1:Exactly. He zips around, pop pop pop, does a little trickery and then he's out because he doesn't do fist to fist, fist to fist Hand to hand, that's the hand to hand combat.
Speaker 2:Fist to fist combat.
Speaker 1:That's what we call it, baby.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so he just, you know, he's like John's, like john's, like I'm gonna kill you, and he's like blink here, blink there, blink, little, punch, blink, little, punch, blink, little. I mean, you know, like a guy that blinks is never going to take out colossus or wolverine or anyone else. You know you can make it comical like deadpool, you know, kiss colossus in the nuts and punches him in the face. That's funny because you're in a funny movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But that's not really going to. You're not going to attack Colossus.
Speaker 1:No, that would be a dumb move. You will lose. You will, you're definitely going to lose and you deserve to lose if you decide to make that fight.
Speaker 2:And then he's like he just, you know, kills him and is like, ah, you're predictable, because he knew he was going to pick somewhere. Wow, I mean, all Sabretooth has to do is wave his arm around like that John will appear and then he'll have it.
Speaker 1:Oops, yeah, it's dumb, bad fight. At what point somewhere in this scene I think it's before they go in William and Wolverine have a conversation and he's like what? You think I'm going to fight him? This is what happens. And then William goes don't dogs kill cats? I just want to talk about that for just one second, because no, they don't. Full stop. That's not something that they do. Maybe sometimes that's probably happened. But he's saying you're definitely going to fight him, just like dogs will always kill cats. That is wrong. That is not. Dogs and cats get along all the time. In fact, in most situations, the cat is actually bullying the dog because the cat's faster and he swaps him in the nose and then runs away and climbs up a tree. It's a dumb, it's just a terrible line. It really made me mad.
Speaker 2:I wanted to bring it up, okay, remy. So remy comes up behind him and roving like bams him in the face yeah, which is funny.
Speaker 1:It's a funny little scene because he's like I spent two years in that hellhole, I ain't going back. And then he just knocks him out. Which is a funny little.
Speaker 2:It's a funny bit and then I think the two of that. Then I think then wolverine starts to fight uh saber tooth, and then gambit's, then on a roof running with a pole yeah, hold on, we do have to talk about real quickly, dan.
Speaker 1:This is my favorite line of the movie. He knocks out remy and then liev gives him a little smile. He says do you even know how to kill me? And logan says I'm gonna cut your goddamn head off. See if that works. That is my favorite wolverine line ever written. Oh really, I still I quote it all the time. I love it. It's delivered perfectly. It's a nice little scene between the two of them. Um, yeah, that's it. I just want to say that I really love it.
Speaker 2:It's my favorite part so I just wrote gambit battle is so dumb. That's what I wrote yeah, so gambit.
Speaker 1:And then he like jumps off the roof in kinetic energy, his bow, and slams the ground or something, and then he's swinging it. Wolverine cuts it in half. I don't know, it's bad, it's bad Ted.
Speaker 2:So basically, this is your good guys fight each other, and then they team up, and then Remy has a plane.
Speaker 1:Which is crazy. They fly to, they fly to, they fly to. What does he have a?
Speaker 2:plane. Here's the guy you know, it's like your classic. Who do we have to fly him to the island Gambit? Why, what? The pilot you know when is he a pilot, you know like I Such a weird, weird choice. So Gambit flies him to the thing and then they're working on Weapon 11, who somehow Striker just controls, like with a computer. He's like he just has to.
Speaker 1:I mean just simple word commands, decapitate, which I mean. First of all, he wrote that very fast. It's impressive, because I couldn't even spell decapitate on the first try. But what a weird. It doesn't make sense. Here's why it's strange. Right, it's like he's giving very specific oneword commands and yet controlling him entirely. So I don't understand how that really works. It feels like I don't know. It's a very strange relationship.
Speaker 2:When I was a kid, I watched this show called Giant Robot, which is like a Japanese one. And this little kid was in control of the giant robot and he was like giant robot power punch, you know. And so each thing you had to tell the giant robot to do and you loved it as a kid. But you know you watch this as an adult and you're like wow that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:Okay, so he welcomes Logan, the striker welcomes Logan back and then he tells him the plan. I needed your powers for the pool, the dead pool. And then the woman in silver fox. She appears behind him and you're like he would have smelled her.
Speaker 1:Yes, this time he definitely would have smelled her.
Speaker 2:Not in this time.
Speaker 1:He definitely would have smelled her, not in a bar, she is Exactly. This is like a sterile workplace for science. And she is within three feet of him. He would have smelled her coming a mile away. She should have controlled people through pheromones.
Speaker 2:Isn't there somebody that controls people through pheromones?
Speaker 1:Oh, there's got to be pheromones, oh, there's gotta be.
Speaker 2:what a sexy power that's how it should be. And see her pheromone power should confuse in him he should be like.
Speaker 1:That's what poison ivy does in batman right, doesn't she do that? Or she's through the kiss, she's through kiss poison ivy, keep going.
Speaker 1:Poison ivy, it's all plant-based yeah, yeah, I was just she like controls batman and robin. But now I'm thinking about Ivy, it's all plant-based. Yeah, yeah, I was just she like controls Batman and Robin, but now that I'm thinking about it, I think it's because she kisses them. And then, yeah, that's right, because then Robin puts someone, puts on rubber lips and like peels them. Oh fuck, that's a good movie. Sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I don't think angry with her. Your love wasn't real. You're like was it, but it supposedly was real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is real, because she fell for him a little bit, but her sister was in trouble.
Speaker 2:Here's my favorite line of the movie, which it's not. It's the one I hated the most. Uh-oh, he says I should have known I ignored my instincts. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:which instincts were those?
Speaker 2:but if you're gonna say I instinctually had problems with it. He should have had instinctual problems somebody should have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they should have showed us that at some point because he seemed fully into it. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Except that one kiss. That one kiss kind of weak but in front of the dude Maybe that's the tip.
Speaker 1:Maybe that was the point where he's like I'm not sure if I should do this, but I'll do it In front of the boys, Boys, Boys watch this.
Speaker 2:So then, what does he do after all of this?
Speaker 1:He. So then, what does he do after all of this? He just leaves, just walks away, just like all right. Well, this has been fun. Thanks for having me over.
Speaker 2:Uh, give me a call and he walks out the door didn't he say he was gonna kill striker, but it's like one of those classic cases. I mean, you know the greatest, arnold schwarzenegger. You know, when I told you I was going to kill you last, I lied because of course you're gonna. You're gonna kill your target of opportunity if he's standing. You know, when I told you I was going to kill you last, I lied Because of course you're going to kill your target of opportunity if he's standing right there, yeah, it's bizarre.
Speaker 1:So he leaves, but no, he just goes home. He's just like nah, deuces, deuces, everybody.
Speaker 2:I'm out. Silver Fox is like let my sister go. My sister, you mean Emma, your sister, whose skin can turn into diamonds. And then, of course, I read the whole thing and it's like that's not Emma Frost, it's like a different, emma, who has the same powers.
Speaker 1:It's a different Emma that also turns to diamonds. That feels like a weird choice. Why would they do that?
Speaker 2:They just made that decision afterwards because it didn't make any sense that her sister could be Emma.
Speaker 1:Frost. Okay, that's true. Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:A little retcon. Okay, this is Emma Frost. This is Emma Frost. I'm like what is happening? Why that's so stupid.
Speaker 1:I mean, they don't know why they're just trying to put in as many references as they can. You know, logic be damned.
Speaker 2:Victor's back there. He's like give me the adamantium. And then he's like you can't handle the adamantium. And then Sabretooth goes out there and Wolverine's like who's in us? Oh no, it's the grabs her. And then she screams. And then wolverine's like oh no, he's in there, saber-tooth is in there. You're like oh, now he figured out, the saber-tooth is in there I don't know yeah and they fight and wolverine just wins, and then we get the, the greatest thing ever pretty, pretty handedly too because he's adamantium now, which makes him better.
Speaker 2:That's the only thing that makes him better than and he's all like, do it, kill me, finish it. And then he just punches him and knocks him out. Um, I hate that yeah, I hate when the person, like sabertooth, doesn't want to die why would he want to die?
Speaker 1:sure doesn't? He doesn't?
Speaker 2:he doesn't want to die at all he wants to rape more people and kill more people and have fun you know, maybe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean those are his activities. He wants to do them.
Speaker 2:And then Silver Fox comes out and she's like they have my sister and our love was real and they turn on Deadpool. He goes and frees the kids.
Speaker 1:Kalos Hilariously dramatic shot of him running down and adamantying all of the lot.
Speaker 2:like it's so dramatic it's ridiculous uh, then he gets stopped by Deadpool. Sword hands, no mouth, deadpool. And what is Wolverine's plan for taking out Deadpool?
Speaker 1:I don't. And what is Wolverine's plan for taking out Deadpool? I don't know. What is it? Just fight him. Oh, he climbs up.
Speaker 2:Climb thing, climb up the cooling tower of three mile Island. Why?
Speaker 1:does he?
Speaker 2:do that.
Speaker 1:I don't know. It doesn't work out all that well though, to be honest. And then he saber tooth wasn't there, he would have lost.
Speaker 2:He starts fighting him and then he starts losing, and then Sabretooth shows up, and then they fight together and slowly Deadpool goes from sword to hands, to healing, to Cyclops' eyes to blink, and then they finally just cut off his head and his head falls down and Spins around with his eyes open and still giving the concussive blast.
Speaker 1:Very strange, spins around with his eyes open, still giving the concussive blast.
Speaker 2:Very strange. And then Sabretooth's, just like peace out jumps yeah then Wolverine like hangs out for a while and then he gets down and then the thing's about to fall on him. And who Millennium Falcon's out of the past? Deadpool, I mean, uh, gambit.
Speaker 1:Gambit Remy Lebow. Have falcons out of the past, deadpool, I mean. Uh, gambit gambit remy laboe, uh, he goes. Remember when they were gonna do a channing tatum gambit movie? Remember that? Remember those rumors? No, that'd have been cool. I ought to watch the shit out of that, although I don't know what he looks like with hair, I think because remy's got like hair.
Speaker 2:Gambit's a terrible character right.
Speaker 1:I like Gambit Gambit's like, you know he's that guy that like maybe sexually harasses Rogue 24-7 and is, I guess, charming, but like a really creepy way, and then you know he's just kind of a pig-headed asshole I love him.
Speaker 2:He's great. So you think that is a character that can run a movie. Oh no.
Speaker 1:No, I do not, which is why it has not happened. I don't think you can make that character into a leading man, but I like him as a side character. You know, it's a fun color.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, let's hurt. Then St striker shoots, yeah, but hits him in the head, so he just shoots a bunch of times in the head, shoots him twice, I believe yeah, and then silver fox is not dead yet and she grabs Striker and she's like walk until you can't walk anymore and then try walking some more.
Speaker 1:Now how come like he can just stop?
Speaker 2:He didn't stop. They got stopped by the cars.
Speaker 1:Right, right, like someone came behind him and then he just stops. Is that how it works?
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I was thinking about it and he's on an island, right? So sure if you tried to walk off of an island, you're gonna walk into the ocean, and if then, if you're just walking, you're not swimming, you die oh yeah, 100, true, actually does it make? Sink, or is it gonna mean?
Speaker 1:I guess that's a question I mean, technically we float so, but you'd have to be like breathing properly for that to happen, right, because people drown all the time.
Speaker 2:It's just so weird. Why would you say that to him?
Speaker 1:I don't know, it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:You're going to leave this island and you're going to go as far away as you know. It's like I understand what you're saying, but it's like such a dumb thing. Well, I understand what you're saying, but it's like such a dumb thing.
Speaker 1:Well, my question I like I just don't understand how the power works, like she influences you by touching you. When she stops touching you is does she still have power over you? I don't know, cause when those army dudes roll up to him, he just stops walking.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know either Professor X comes I would walk a thousand miles. Professor X comes in a helicopter to save the kids. How was that helicopter, uh?
Speaker 1:oh, you froze right at the wrong moment again, uh-oh you froze right at the wrong moment Again. Wait, I heard you.
Speaker 2:Oh good, I'm back. They hadn't hired what's his name, yet had they the new.
Speaker 1:Professor X, they just de-aged the old Professor X. Mcavoy yeah, they tried. Yeah, didn't look great. Whatever Weird, I don't know. Yeah. So Wolverine wakes up, and he's because he got shot in the brain and he died.
Speaker 2:His memories are all gone and I guess maybe they come back someday. I don't know, but that's the whole idea. And then Gambit's there and Gambit's like who am I? And then Gambit's like your name is Logan. Why did they tell him his name was Logan?
Speaker 1:Because I think that's what everyone's been calling him Because he barely knows him right.
Speaker 2:Oh, so at Lumbertown they called him Logan.
Speaker 1:Yes. Yeah yeah, lumbertown.
Speaker 2:He sees Kayla, she's dead. And he's like and he's like do you know her? He's like nope, I'm gonna leave.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's like okay, well, I'll see you around, pal, and that's the end.
Speaker 2:It, it's just like it's so, it's like all these things to sort of set up why he would be in the yukon fighting in the thing yada yada yada yada which also doesn't make sense, like I still don't totally understand it.
Speaker 1:But I also don't care. What don't you understand? Why would he then go fight in a bar fight? Just because he doesn't know who he is and he needs money, I guess. How does he know that he's invincible? How would he at first be like, yeah, I should go fight people. I'd figure that out pretty quick, Would you? I might be invincible, I don't know. I've never fought anybody. I could, but I don't want to risk it. You see what I'm saying. It's true, you could have adamantium bones. You know, I have no idea, but I'm not going to find out, all right, well, yeah, I guess I don't know, I don't know, did you watch the post-credits scene, dan?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got Striker being stopped and then you got Deadpool picking up his head and saying something to his head or something. He just did this Shh Terrible.
Speaker 1:Why would he say shush? Why is he shushing people? That doesn't make any sense, man.
Speaker 2:I don't know this movie, you know it's fine, it's not great though. Having watched it a second time, you're just like, yeah, there's zero I would ever go back to this movie to watch again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're welcome.
Speaker 2:There's no fight scene. That I'm you know. It's like I said. I watched that Civil War fight scene, great fight scene. You watch the fight scenes from the fight scene. It's sort of on a bridge, in the middle of Captain America, in the middle of Winter Soldier. Yeah, you can just watch that fight scene and you're just like everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's cool.
Speaker 2:Everything about this fight scene I like this is action that you want to see, you enjoy. Everything makes sense, the characters are all doing their thing and it feels exciting. You feel like there's jeopardy, you feel like it's going to lead somewhere. You know, when Winter Soldier comes out and jing, jing, jing, jing, jing, jing, you're like, oh, I love this character, I love it. A gun feels like it can do something, like it means something in the world. Yes, sir, and I remember in X-Men, in X2, x1, the first X-Men was fine. It was like okay, this is you know, whatever.
Speaker 1:I like it. It's kind of weird.
Speaker 2:Then we get to X2, and you're all like whoa things are happening in this movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean X2 is great, like they really stepped it up, but I still really like the first one too. It holds a nostalgic place in my heart.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fine. But X2 is like a real movie. You're like this is a movie that does all the movie things moving along. This one, you're like Moving right along, well, you lost all that.
Speaker 1:That's all gone. Yeah, nobody cares anymore.
Speaker 2:Wolverine, being immune to everything and being immune to both the world.
Speaker 1:Emotionally and physically.
Speaker 2:And that does not a good movie make, typically. No, it doesn't Anything else to say about this gem you picked, tony.
Speaker 1:No, no, you know it's good to revisit it. I had a good time with it and I'll probably never watch it again. Oh well. Now we talk about something we liked this week. You gotta tell us what you saw, because I didn't hear it.
Speaker 2:Crimetastic. It's a show.
Speaker 1:Crimetastic.
Speaker 2:It's a show on YouTube and the centerpiece of they're talking about old crimes and the centerpiece is a long interrogation, which is often an hour long or more, and they just, oh my gosh, they'll talk like this one guy like drove 50 hours across the country, killed his mom and then drove all the way back and then tried to act like he had never been there. And, and you know, the cops go in there and they're they're all like they have, you know, photos of his car driving across the country.
Speaker 2:They have video of him buying the burner phone that he was calling his mom on. They have video of him stealing her dog, and then you know, and then you just get this hour where the person just lies and lies and lies and lies and lies, and then the police, slowly, you know, keep telling them all the things they know, and it's yeah it's.
Speaker 2:You know, are these big cases? No, they're just like really dumb murder cases. You know, stupid kid murders his mom and then gets his two stupid friends to help him stage it to look like a robbery. But he just. These people think that they're smarter than police and they've all seen Dateline and all these shows you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:The one kid's like, he's like a junior police officer, he's, you know, he's doing like you know scouts for police, and still he somehow thinks that he's, he's smarter than these guys and that the cops, just like they just said, trap after trap after trap, and oh, I love it, because it's you just so get to see, I love it, I just love it you get to see human beings and how, just what big liars they are and how you can never trust anything anyone says, because they're filtering it in a million different ways.
Speaker 1:Oh boy.
Speaker 2:What do you got for us, tony? I don't know, you don't know.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, exactly On the same level as that, I've been rewatching the Bad Boys series this week, getting ready to go see Bad Boys ride or die next weekend yeah, and I haven't seen them in a long time. I did a rewatch right before Bad Boys for Life came out it was at 2020, I think, so it hasn't been that long, but a couple of years and they're just delightful. They're really fun movies. I really enjoy them and I'm excited to see the new one. So that might be what I talk about next week, hopefully.
Speaker 2:I watched some of that Beverly Hills Cop the new one. It is so nostalgic. It is like crazy Right how much it feels like a movie from the past, an 80s movie it looks like it's such a good job it looks like it, it sounds like it, it feels like it.
Speaker 1:You're like yeah that's interesting yeah, it's a movie from a different era and they did it well, like they did it right. I just, I don't know I loved it. Did you? Did you enjoy that process or did you just notice it and like didn't give a shit?
Speaker 2:I mean, I think that was what's most most interesting thing about the movie you know, I I didn't watch the whole movie, but I was just watching it and I was like well, this is really interesting, you know. I mean, you know it's just like him and his daughter and he's this is so. You know he's, I want to be a cop and you know I'm I'd rather be copping than being a dad, and she's just like I just want you to be my dad. You're like okay, that's fine, you know classic yeah, it's great, it's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not a movie that I'm like.
Speaker 1:I'm in love with or anything, but I probably won't ever finish it, but it's like it's interesting you know? Oh you know what I'll take it, I don't even care. Yeah, I love that movie so much, I've seen it a couple times now.
Speaker 2:Well, because it's a movie that's made for you.
Speaker 1:Darn right it is. I would have paid for it to be made if I had any money.
Speaker 2:It is the kind of content that you exactly want, and it's pretty interesting that they would actually make you the exact content that you would want.
Speaker 1:Well, everyone's always like. Well, they don't make them like they used to guess what. They just did, idiots. They did it exactly like they used to they can if they want to yeah, it was. Yeah, I, I love it.
Speaker 2:I think they did a really wonderful job so our movie for next week's one that you know we've been we've been needing to do for a long time okay, I was watching this movie, this wolverine movie, and I was like, hey, that's the star of the movie we should probably do next week. And I was like, hey, that's the other star of the movie. Two of the stars in this movie are the stars of the movie we're doing next week. Really, the female lead is the same.
Speaker 1:Wait, the female lead, the silver fox lady.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, and the male lead is the person who played Gambit.
Speaker 1:Wait, what movie did they do together? They did John Carter. Oh, she's in John Carter. I didn't even see, wow okay, she's deja thoris.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she, they, they. They tried to make her like the super hot girl for a little while.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think that I'm okay with that. I don't disagree with that thought process.
Speaker 2:Yeah she's very attractive and she's very attractive in john carter and Kitsch he's an enigma, You're like I'm not sure why he doesn't work.
Speaker 1:I don't hate him in anything he does. You know what I mean. I always think he does at minimum a fine job. I think sometimes he does a great job. He's never in anything that that I see he is not the problem, but the movies are always bad he just might be incredibly unlucky that he gets in these projects. I yeah, him, or his, his representation. Somebody is bad at picking projects and it just it fucked this guy well, there's with with john carter.
Speaker 2:There's definitely a whole group of people who I see that appear on twitter and whatnot and who are all like just watch john carter again. This movie's really good. Why is everybody crap on this movie and then you know, you get this? All these other people that are saying, yeah, this movie and I think this, I think john carter is the same movie as wolverine I think they're the same movie where it's the same thing. You're just like there's.
Speaker 2:You know, it's not that it's terrible, terrible, it's just that it yeah it just doesn't resonate in a way that a movie has to resonate, you know.
Speaker 1:Especially a blockbuster.
Speaker 2:Blockbuster has to do a lot of things just right to cement that thing and I think both of these movies. You know, if you're like a super comic book guy and you just want to see the Wolverine claws come out and you want to see him jumping at people and you want to see Sabretooth jumping at people and that's what you want to see people crashing into each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, amen.
Speaker 2:Okay, but it's not like you know. You go, you watch Deadpool the first one and you're like I love these scenes. You know that last scene at the end on the helicarrier falling over. Just a great fight scene.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's good, everything runs great.
Speaker 2:All different levels. You have Colossus doing Colossus things. The jokes are all good in there, Like this is all worked out and you know what is that movie? That movie is just two set scenes that are glued together. Right, yeah, pretty much. Yeah, you know, there's an origin set scene, set scene, that's it.
Speaker 1:That's all the movie is just three things really, but done in a good way, and that's what you know. They do a good job. No, I'm pumped for the new one. Yeah, so I will be able to talk about it for a couple weeks after you guys see this, because we shoot early, but I am going to go see it the week that this episode premieres.
Speaker 2:Oh, look at you, tony, Look at you and it's not going to be bad, so I don't have to see it for months.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's true, that is true.
Speaker 2:Well, so that's it. We're going to Mars. The reason why John Carter failed is because they didn't call it John Carter, warlord of Mars. That's what a lot of people want to say. It's the title.
Speaker 1:That's the title, just because they dropped everything after John Carter.
Speaker 2:Literally. That is a big point of contention and argument. That is the reason, because people went in there and they're all like what's this John Carter movie? Oh, if I had known it was about Mars mars, I'd have been okay with it. You're like no, that's no I don't think that's it, guys.
Speaker 1:Let's try again.
Speaker 2:You know, it's not all the john carter, warlord of mars, stands that demand, the warlord of mars, is in that title sure, yeah, that's not it.
Speaker 1:I love it. Good for them.
Speaker 2:Okay, good fight so if you like what you like, like our show, favorite our show, subscribe to our show. Comment our show uh cross, promote our show these are all things you could do cross promotion cross promote?
Speaker 1:we don't even cross promote I'm tired.
Speaker 2:I'm tired of talking, tony, I talked too much today all right.
Speaker 1:Well, let's wrap it up, then we'll uh, we'll see y'all next week. For john carter. Goodbye everybody With Dan and Tony. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony, it's like watching hell.