Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Celebrating 200 Episodes with a Hilarious Dive into 'The Garbage Pail Kids Movie'
Ever wondered how a movie so absurd can become a cult classic? Celebrate our 200th episode with a side-splitting critique of the 1987 oddity, "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie." We’ll walk you through everything from holiday schedules to whimsical dream workweeks, providing a hilarious backdrop to our disbelief and amusement at this film’s bizarre plot and over-the-top performances. Did you know Sean Astin's brother had a role in this chaos and faced strange contractual hurdles? Join us for genuine reactions, quirky trivia, and a nostalgic dive into the world of Garbage Pail Kids cards.
Get ready for a heavy dose of 80s nostalgia as we reminisce about collecting those iconic cards and laugh about not saving them for future value. We’ll share wild quotes from the film’s director and discuss ethically questionable practices during filming, including a possible Peter Dinklage cameo. From the wacky world of Oliver and the Artful Dodger to the Miami Vice-inspired antagonists Juice and Tangerine, our humorous critique covers every angle. And yes, we dig into the real-life drama behind the casting and breakups during production—spilling all the behind-the-scenes tea.
Buckle up as we navigate through the chaotic adventures of the Garbage Pail Kids, from improbable rescues to biker bar antics and nonsensical fashion shows. We’ll question the film’s intended audience and marvel at the plot inconsistencies—like the whimsical imprisonment of "ugly" characters—and hint at our upcoming review of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine." Whether it’s analyzing the characters' bizarre dynamics or laughing at the outrageous storyline, our lighthearted banter promises to keep you entertained. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share your feedback—your support keeps this madness alive!
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Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech
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How are you, Tony? Fourth of July. Happy Fourth of July.
Speaker 2:Oh, happy Fourth of July. I'm good, you know, doing great. Had the Fourth of July off, which was nice. Oh yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1:Then you went back to work on the Fifth of July, and now you're off again.
Speaker 2:That's right. Yeah, yeah, four-day weeks aren't that bad. You know it's not as good as I wouldn't mind like a Monday, tuesday off, wednesday, thursday, friday off.
Speaker 1:Saturday, sunday. You know the Tony dream schedule.
Speaker 2:That would be nice. Yeah, that would be OK.
Speaker 1:Or even better, if you worked on Monday and then on Thursday.
Speaker 2:That is even better. You know it's even better.
Speaker 1:You just don't work. Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan.
Speaker 2:And I'm Tony.
Speaker 1:This is our 200th episode, the Bicentennial Tennial.
Speaker 2:Tennial the.
Speaker 1:Bicentennial, tennial, tennial, the Bicentennial. I was alive for the Bicentennial, you know.
Speaker 2:I was alive for this Bicentennial. There it is.
Speaker 1:We each have our own Bicentennial and on this show, for I think, most all of the episodes except maybe one, we watch a movie and then we we harshly critique the movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. Are we harsh? I don't know. I think we're fair. That's what I'll say.
Speaker 1:I think I started the podcast with the with the first choice and I got the choice of number 200. I'm not sure how that works.
Speaker 2:I don't know how math works, but it sounds like we fucked up somewhere along the way.
Speaker 1:Well, I think on 100 we did pick a movie. So right In 100, didn't we talk about stuff on 100?
Speaker 2:Oh, we did. Yeah, we just kind of hung out. So I guess there's been two episodes where we didn't watch a movie because we also did the Summer Hate Madness thing. Oh, Technically not watching a movie there.
Speaker 1:But we also did a bonus one where we watched that thing about the internet or something, oh yeah, the documentary you made us watch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. You know what? There's a good chance that these numbers are meaningless because I'm in charge of them and I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:We're leaving that for history to decide. You know which episodes are which episodes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the history books will let us know in about 50 years, when we look back fondly and artists not appreciated in their time.
Speaker 1:The hate watching archivist will be oh no, no, you don't understand. This is how it went down. There'll be all sorts of debate.
Speaker 2:Maybe we'll have a doc just on us.
Speaker 1:Just on us.
Speaker 2:I'll make it probably.
Speaker 1:Yes, you'll probably have to make it. I'll be involved in an executive producer.
Speaker 2:Like a hands-off.
Speaker 1:Associate producer.
Speaker 2:I'm an associate producer. There you go, yeah, yeah, you're associated with it, but you're not involved with it.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I just get paid if it makes any money. That's what associate producer, which it will not. So I'm sorry in advance, dan I quit um.
Speaker 1:So yes, we watch a movie this week. I got to pick the movie and I picked the garbage pail kids movie from 1987, an hour and 37 minutes. Not available unless you buy. Is it on d? It was a dvd, it wasn't a vhs I believe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a dvd, there is a vhs and I think there was a 30th anniversary blu-ray that got released. I'm not totally sure.
Speaker 1:I couldn't find that anywhere, but I think that exists you couldn't find it couldn't find it, but I'm pretty sure it exists so it would have come out in like 2017 or so yeah, something like that yeah that is enough time to disappear from the collective consciousness of the world To only make like 4,000 of them they could just run right into collectors' hands.
Speaker 2:I bet it's worth a lot of money.
Speaker 1:This movie was insane.
Speaker 2:It's batshit bonkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's um, it's looney tunes uh I. I had a lot of fun. I'm not gonna lie. A lot of people say that it's not so bad, that it's good, but I think those people don't understand the world, because I enjoyed this a good deal.
Speaker 1:As a bad movie. This is a good movie, absolutely yes. There are lines galore, there are performances, there are situations you don't understand, there's motivations that make no sense and there's proclamations that you're like yeah, that's not true.
Speaker 2:That is false in your own universe. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:The kid playing. The kid is Sean Astin's brother.
Speaker 2:Yep, and John Astin's son, yeah. Which legend has it. Oh sorry.
Speaker 1:The mom's someone too. The mom was somebody real.
Speaker 2:Oh, I guess I didn't look that out donna reed.
Speaker 1:I think of the donna reed show okay.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, great family. He's still working, by the way, this, this guy, they're all still working, obviously some more than others. Um, but legend has it that the kid somehow was able to sign the papers, like sign a contract for this movie, before the dad, john aston, got to read the script and then, once he read the script, he's like you can't do this movie. But then they couldn't get out of it because the kid had signed the papers on his own. The 80s were a wild time. He's 14 years old. He should not be able to enter a binding contract without a legal guardian.
Speaker 1:But that's cool, man, that's cool that's, uh, that's how it is with the tops company. They know how to do contracts, you know because, because they're, you know, always having to sign all those baseball legends you know to things. So true, can't let those. You know. Mickey mantel, you know, once you got his signature, you gotta also get the blood out of him.
Speaker 2:Drain it for everything. I mean, if you had the signature, though, you'd probably have a lot of money right now.
Speaker 1:Dan you mean this, this kid's contract on the garbage?
Speaker 2:no, no, but I do wish you had that. I wish that you had some physical evidence of this contract. That would be nice. I'd love to read it and just see if they, because there's also talk between whether or not it was meant to be a made for tv-TV movie or a theatrical release. I would love to read the contract to see if it said anything, but it probably didn't.
Speaker 1:I did read one thing where they shot it all some sort of certain way and then they used some sort of video editing situation an early video editing situation to edit it and saved a bunch of money that way?
Speaker 2:Sure, I mean they had to save money everywhere. Yeah, where that they could one million dollar budget, not gonna do it. This didn't have a one million dollar, but they had a one million dollar budget.
Speaker 1:They made this movie for a million dollars. That is, this movie for a million dollars.
Speaker 2:that's incredible. They also they wanted to originally make supposedly this is all hearsay through, like interviews that I've read, but they originally wanted to do it animated or partially animated, like um, what's? Yeah, what's her name, by the way?
Speaker 1:Roger Rabbit.
Speaker 2:No, the sexy red.
Speaker 1:Tangerine Jessica Rabbit.
Speaker 2:Jessica Rabbit. Is that right? Right, is she the redhead? Yeah, great stuff, anyhow. Uh, what was I saying you?
Speaker 2:know, you got me sidetracked now oh, they wanted to and they didn't have enough money. So they're like well, we'll just kind of make it the cheapest way possible, which is just getting these whack-ass costumes, throwing them on people and then and then going to town. They shot it in a warehouse in, uh, california. It's not a sound stage, it's just a literal warehouse. They said uh, it got into triple digit. Where they got in a triple digit, uh, heat and uh, the tin roof would interfere with the animatronics of the face. So, according to some of the people that played these characters, sometimes like eyes would just start rolling and like the faces would do all sorts of things. So they didn't get a lot of the shots because they didn't have enough time to reshoot things, but they couldn't get the reactions they wanted because they're having trouble with the rf interference. Apparently it was just a nightmare.
Speaker 1:This whole movie is just like a nightmare to shoot so you're saying the street scene where most of this takes place with the antique store is inside?
Speaker 2:The antique store is inside. Anything on the street, I believe, is the street, but anything indoors is a warehouse All sounds the same.
Speaker 1:Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. That makes sense. Yeah, I wrote down $10 titles. You know the opening titles I think they spent $10 on and I believe they spent $5 on the music hold on.
Speaker 2:Do you not like the music? I mean, first of all, let's not talk about the one random musical number in the movie, because that's a different story, but the closing titles. It's like you could be a garbage pail too, or something like that.
Speaker 1:That's a jam I'm talking about the incidental music, not that I mean there's a number. There's a number of songs in the movie, most of which are original and most of which are pretty great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, okay just want to make sure yeah, but the the music is.
Speaker 1:It's like beverly hills cop synth music, but like done by like, just a dude. And so at times you expect it to start going to the Beverly Hills Cop music, but it doesn't. It doesn't. Interestingly, they released the new Beverly Hills Cop movie this week. Yes, and do you remember crazy frog? Yes, of course, are you kidding me? There's a new crazy frog song out for the new Beverly Hills. I mean it's pretty much with the old theme, but he's, he's doing, he's doing you know there's like a video and so I'll have to find that.
Speaker 2:I did not find that, but I'm going to find that. I did not find that, but I'm going to find it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I've been playing that for my wife and for the longest time the Crazy Frog song was my ringtone on my phone for going on like 10 years or something.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. I'm proud of you, Dan. That's the coolest thing you've ever said to me.
Speaker 1:It was like I am sticking with Crazy Frog because it is literally the most horrible thing ever. I love it desperately. I I really should change my phone now back to crazy frog, because you know I don't remember when it's cool again it's. It is cool. Remember when people used to pay tons of money for ringtones tony people yeah, this guy I've spent.
Speaker 2:I probably spent hundreds of dollars on different ringtones because I always I switched it up like weekly back in the day because it it was like a status thing. You know, like if you just had like the normal ringtone of the phone, you're a loser, but if something cool goes off and it was like, oh, what's that one? And you're like, oh, that's my flip, open my phone, what's?
Speaker 1:But yeah, I spent too much money and it was me. Other quick pre-Garbage Pail, kid movie stuff. When I was in art school in college, we did a thing at the beach and I went to the beach and I think this is what happened I found a garbage belt kid sticker on the ground and I was like what the hell is this? And and I was like, oh my god, this is so weird. I don't, I don't know what this is and I don't. It was like this. Uh, it was like a. It was a bony character, so it was a little skeleton character and I was like okay, sure, this is.
Speaker 1:This is so unusual to me, and that is right. When I started getting back into collecting and this led me back into collecting along the same axis as my art career and pretty much everything I do now not everything, but I mean it was a serious catalyst to my artistic and collecting career.
Speaker 2:So thank you, Garbage Pail Kids. So thank you, Garbage Pail Kids.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Garbage Pail. Kids. Did you collect cards? Then Did you start collecting them.
Speaker 1:I bought some, but I didn't really like them. They weren't really my thing, you know I didn't get into them.
Speaker 2:You were probably too old already.
Speaker 1:I was too old to really get into it and I mean I wish I had, because I would have saved everything and had boxes and it would have been all worth the fortune because they're all very valuable now?
Speaker 2:Yes, they are, especially if you get like what are they foil now or something Like there's like a lot something on them was like crazy expensive, but yeah you could have been rich.
Speaker 1:Dan Could have been rich. Could have been somebody.
Speaker 2:I've been a contender, anything else, before we start talking about this, I want to read a direct quote from the director and rip, I think he passed in like 2003 or something like that. So this is not. I'm not disparaging him, it's just the wildest thing I've ever read in an interview before this was his last.
Speaker 1:This was his last movie oh well, I get it.
Speaker 2:Um, so basically a little precursor. He didn't really care about this movie. He didn't really know anything about the garbage pail. Kids and tops apparently didn't care. They were just like just do your thing, just get it out, it'll make money, essentially. But they were talking about how to do the movie.
Speaker 2:And this is this is a quote, this is a direct quote for him. We did the economic expedient and oh, let me, let me uh, rephrase, uh, he's going to use words that I don't use. Okay, so this is just a direct quote. I want to make that very clear. I'm not saying this. The director said this in an interview. We did the economic expedient. We got dwarves, there's plenty of them. We got dwarves and put heads on them and found out how long they could survive in there without breathing, and it turned out to be about five to seven minutes. So you had to rehearse everything with the heads off. Put the heads on, have a paramedic with a stopwatch, little sons of bitches go in there and you say action and you shoot until they can't breathe. That is a direct quote from the director of this movie. It is wild.
Speaker 1:This is back when the world was real. It's so terrible.
Speaker 2:I read that last night and I stopped breathing. I couldn't stop laughing. It was about five minutes. I could not collect myself. I love this guy. And I stopped breathing. I couldn't stop laughing. It was about five minutes, I could not collect myself. I love this guy. I love him.
Speaker 1:Now did you catch the special celebrity appearance in the movie?
Speaker 2:I'm sure that I didn't. Who's the celebrity?
Speaker 1:Peter Dinklage.
Speaker 2:No, who does he play he?
Speaker 1:doesn't play anyone. He plays one of the people in the cages at the end that they let out oh, jesus, oh the cage.
Speaker 2:I can't wait to talk about those cages, by the way.
Speaker 1:So, peter, dinklage I I read somewhere somebody said that was him.
Speaker 2:He wasn't in the credits or anything, or maybe it was well, yeah, but I mean just as as an actor you might not.
Speaker 1:It's pretty interesting that in a movie full of dwarves he just appears. As in a movie using a lot of dwarves and little people, I think we're supposed to say little people now.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:He's in there just as an actor.
Speaker 2:I wonder, do you remember what his cage said? Because all the cages have a little thing on it.
Speaker 1:I only saw it as they pulled him out of the cage and you couldn't see the sign. And I was like, good God, that's Peter Dinklage. And then looked it up and somebody else said that was him, so I'm like I'm running with it.
Speaker 2:I'm running with it, I'm going with it, I don't care. I don't care. I did enough fact checking.
Speaker 1:So maybe he was friends with some of the other people working on the movie and just got him on the set for a day.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I think a bunch of people that played these insane characters went on to do other stuff. I think one of the ladies was in Willow, I don't know. I mean, they went on to work on other stuff. Nobody died, so that's great news.
Speaker 1:Nobody died in the making of this movie. Otherwise we'd be talking about it in a much, a much more reverent tone Sure, sure, sure Um. The other star of the movie is, uh, anthony newly, who I love the death because he was one of the principles in the Dr Doolittle movie from like my childhood not the Eddiedie murphy, then okay, so the one that I never saw it's the.
Speaker 2:I think it's 67 or 69 all right, sure, sure, and that one is a musical oh, it's a full musical.
Speaker 1:I had the record when I was a kid beautiful and and you know that was one of those records I would just play and be like say, how do you do the world a little, you know and sing about the push me, pull you and all that, and I just loved it to death.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, that's great. I love that.
Speaker 1:And so he's just particularly terrible, and not terrible, but just.
Speaker 2:So he has acted before he has acted before.
Speaker 1:It has acted before yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's not an indictment. I'm just curious because obviously, again, the vibe of this is very made-for-TV afternoon special type of deal, you know.
Speaker 1:I think he's one of those guys that probably did a lot of you know, dinner, theater and whatnot, sure, yeah, he's got a nice voice voice, you know anything else to say about the movie before we start really digging in deep?
Speaker 2:I feel like everything else we'll just we'll cover throughout. I don't want to. I mean, we've already done. This is 15 minutes.
Speaker 1:You know we're wasting a lot of time here um, we start the movie with the credits and we have the car there. There's a garbage pail can flying through space, which has nothing to do with how the garbage pail kids get there. Are you sure? I mean, maybe they came from space and then they got trapped in a can by magic. I don't know. He said it was a Pandora's box. I don't know the answer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know the answer, but there's a garbage pail in space and then I'm pretty sure that's the same garbage pail that's in. That's where they're kept in his thing. So I think they might have come down from space. But also, are they cards in the can? Because the cards fly out?
Speaker 1:like little little.
Speaker 2:So like I was curious if they start as cards and somehow transform into these things, or if that's just the credits of being like these are the ones we're using. I don't know.
Speaker 1:That's a question that we're going to have to save for the screenwriter if he ever wants to come on the show he doesn't.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you that right now, Including in some of these, we have Valerie Vomit.
Speaker 1:Foul Phil ever wants to come on the show. He doesn't. I'll tell you that right now, including some of these, we have Valerie, vomit, foul Phil, wendy, winston, nat, nerd, alligator, greaser Greg and Messy Tessie. Maybe I didn't get the baby. Oh, maybe Foul Phil is the baby one. I don't know who's the baby one.
Speaker 2:I didn't pay much attention to the names. Yeah, they get the baby. Oh, maybe foul phil is the baby one. I don't know the baby. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. I didn't pay much attention to the names yeah they're, they're hideous now yes, full, full stop. They are atrocious they're. They're not good to look at at all, but the cards are also like gross, isn't that their thing?
Speaker 1:so very accurate representation of the cards. The also like gross, isn't that?
Speaker 2:their thing. So very accurate representation of the cards. It's a hard task, but you would theoretically want to cute them up a little. If you're making a movie, I would think, because the whole movie I just I want to close my eyes because it's all so ugly.
Speaker 1:They look. I mean, they look like the cards cards but they also look like the cards made out of clay and just like just so gross. I mean, they're just just incredibly unappealing things they are super ugly, uh.
Speaker 2:And one thing I want to say they only made one head for each character got it. So there was no, there was no replacing a head. It's the same head every time, which has got to get gross real quick. Uh, and I don't remember the story, but there's a story where they they used some sort of paint that solidified and the first time they used each one, the mouth opened and it cracked along the mouth, kind of like the joker. So if you look closely, a lot of them look like they have little seams right here and that's because they tore open.
Speaker 1:Yeah, at a certain point, the masks, they'd barely even be talking and they would just loop in all the voices.
Speaker 2:Everything just was in this sort of echo chamber of sound.
Speaker 1:You know it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it was interesting. Apparently they're pretty loud. The masks were because all of the gears inside, so like they couldn't, the actors inside had a hard time hearing what was going on around them.
Speaker 1:Now, did the person who put on the head actually get to do the voice too?
Speaker 2:I believe no, because the Roger Rabbit guy is in this as one of the voices. He voices the nerd and somebody else as well. So I don't believe that they got to do any of the voices.
Speaker 1:Oh, so probably a couple of people did all the voices. That makes sense. Yeah, so we were introduced to the antique store, which is just called the antique store. We have a. We see the trash can, some slime pours out of it and the Garbage Pail. Kids escape from this trash can, like they could never fit in there as their full sizes. So there's magic involved.
Speaker 2:Which is, but there's magic involved all over the place, because this guy is a wizard.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, we'll get to that, will we? So they escape and they're like turn off the lights and turn on the fans, and it's all very strange. And then out comes, uh, captain manzini, who's anthony newly, and he I guess he gets them back in the trash can somehow?
Speaker 2:well, it's what's weird, is it? They just kind of go back in themselves. As far as I can tell, and then he just puts something on the lid to make sure they don't get back out.
Speaker 1:He puts a big metal helmet on top of the lid to kind of keep them in there because you know.
Speaker 2:Locking them up because they're ugly, was that the? Is that the moral this movie? Well, you know, locking them up because they're ugly, was that the? Is that the moral this movie?
Speaker 1:well, you're locking them up because the world is not ready for their ugliness and the world treats the ugliness bad, which and we are familiar with that story.
Speaker 2:Right, I mean, that's the same story for the ninja turtles, let's say, right, like shredder or uh, splinter's big thing is like you can't go to the surface because humans won't understand and they'll vilify you and the turtles like no, we can do it. So I understand the story, but what I but we don't usually do is lock them in a tiny cage and tell them they can't come out ever. But I feel like that's a whole new level yes, well, we're gonna.
Speaker 1:We're to find out later that some of them got out and were killed and are just yeah killed they were killed or killed. So it's probably best if you don't go out, because the real world will kill them. Just murder you they'll just murder you hey there's things, it's very weird santa claus and the garbageail Kids will end up murdered.
Speaker 2:Don't bring up Santa yet. We got to get to Santa Claus.
Speaker 1:So we meet our hero Dodger, which I guess is named after the artful Dodger from what you would call it, the Fagin and all that stuff. You know that story oldest time.
Speaker 2:Fagin and Dodger yeah, Fagin, and all that stuff. You know that story all this time. Fagin and Artful Dodger yeah, fagin, and all that stuff.
Speaker 1:Oliver, that's what it is.
Speaker 2:Like Oliver Twist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, great. The story of Oliver Twist is he's like an orphan. He ends up with the criminal orphans and his best friend is the Artful Dodger. Who's like this one kid? Who's like the masterful criminal child?
Speaker 2:So he is fleeing.
Speaker 1:Great. He is fleeing from Juice and Tangerine and Juice's two henchmen, who perhaps have names, I don't know. One of them's a dude and one of them's a very muscular woman. And they want his money and Juice gets some good. I guess, yes, he wants some money. That's what he says.
Speaker 2:He wants the money I mean I know, but it's a weird. If you're only going for money, everything else that happens is pretty weird.
Speaker 1:Yes, and Juice is like Miami Vice cool.
Speaker 2:And with just a gallon of eyeliner on, like just so he's got so much makeup on for a bully. It was very distracting to me, but he's pretty, you know. I think you know in the 80s kind of way.
Speaker 1:Feathered hair. Tangerine is frizzy hair super hot.
Speaker 2:Tangerine is frizzy hair, super hot, 94 pounds. Okay, this is a great time to talk about her and Dodger right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So she's 16.
Speaker 1:She's not 16. When this movie's taking place, she can drive. She, the actor, is 16 years old. 16 years old in this movie.
Speaker 2:She is 16 years old, aston is 14 years old, right, and a lot of people, when this uh had come out I mean not a lot of people the four people that saw it, like probably two or three of them were like, oh, this is a weird relationship, because this movie is all about like him liking her. Yes, but what's interesting? Because when I watched it I felt the same thing. I was like she's like 20 and this kid's like 12. And it's weird.
Speaker 2:But here's the fun part about it Dan is Aston had been cast in the movie and the director was like hey, do you know any actresses that are like 16 that we could hire? And Aston goes yes, my girlfriend is an actor and they hired her and they are dating. This is literally his girlfriend. And then they break up in the middle of filming this movie because apparently he had a wandering eye. And all of that is just shocking to me. Every, every part of that surprises me. His eye wandered away from this girl. This is what I'm saying. It's so bizarre. I mean she's very attractive still is.
Speaker 2:She goes on to be a huge telenovela star in oh so she was. She was huge there. Okay, she was huge. Hundreds and hundreds of episodes of stuff, amazing, amazing work.
Speaker 1:Good for her I know a couple of guys. They're twins and they were. They were telenovela stars both of them?
Speaker 2:yeah, did they? Did they switch off of the same role? Like one week one guy would do it, the other week the other one did it, or did they have separate roles?
Speaker 1:I don't remember. I talked to him about it a little bit, but yeah, they were. They were telling novella stars down there In my head they are one character, Dan.
Speaker 2:I just want you to know that in my head they're one character, and casting doesn't even know that they're twins. They're just lazier than most actors Each one and a half a roll.
Speaker 1:But I think he said it was a pretty cutthroat business, as I remember it. Oh, I believe that. Yeah, they want you young and beautiful and I think, unless you're the lucky few that transition into, being like the older characters, they kind of hit the road, kill you off. Juice gets some good lines. Little baby going to cry. Juice is mine. They take his money, uh, and they kick him in the mud.
Speaker 2:and then there's sad music as they walk away from him as they yeah, which is and this is the beginning of where I was like okay, this is definitely a made for tv movie like this. This screams after school special without a message. There's no message to the movie. There's a moment where we almost get a message and then they immediately toss it away. Sure.
Speaker 1:So it turns out he works in the antique store Can he work.
Speaker 2:Dan, I know this is the 80s. It's the 80s. Can 14-year year olds have a job?
Speaker 1:I thought 15 was you could work and I think they could pay you a small amount of money, but you could only work a certain amount of time okay right okay, all right, I mean I don't know anything back then you could pay kids to work, but you couldn't but you couldn't have them work in the mills anymore. You just had to give them nicer jobs. And he's just cleaning up and whatnot.
Speaker 2:It's not like he's filing a W-2 or anything W-2?.
Speaker 1:A 1099?.
Speaker 2:Those are the only two forms I know. I still remember the day I went and got my Social Security card.
Speaker 1:Good story.
Speaker 2:Wait, you had to go get a Social Security card. They don't just give it to you when you're born.
Speaker 1:They don't give you a Social Security card when you're born.
Speaker 2:When did I get mine? I'm not trying to be funny, Dan.
Speaker 1:You don't remember when you got your Social Security card.
Speaker 2:I don't think that I did it?
Speaker 1:I don't. I wouldn't be surprised if your parents got you one.
Speaker 2:Oh, I wouldn't be surprised.
Speaker 1:I'm Tony. I'm a baby. Give me my Social Security card. I'm a little baby.
Speaker 2:I can't do it, I just don't remember doing it.
Speaker 1:I thought that that's just something to hand out to babies when they're born and then you have to hold on to it for your whole life.
Speaker 2:I went to some weird office that was near really near the, the bowling alley and it was up in this building and they gave me I think you have a stolen security. Okay, I don't think this is real. It's not a real one, that's true. They charged me a thousand dollars okay, well, you might have gotten swindled.
Speaker 1:It's worked so far.
Speaker 2:That's all that matters.
Speaker 1:He works at the antique store. Captain Manzini, anthony Newley works there and he is a magician. He uses. No, he is a magician. Is he a magician?
Speaker 2:or is he a wizard?
Speaker 1:Because he does real magic. We'll call him a wizard, because you're saying a magician is is he a wizard? Because he does real magic? We'll call him a wizard Because you're saying a magician is someone that pulls rabbits out of the hat, and it's fake.
Speaker 2:He's a wizard. Hold on, let's not. I'm not trying to belittle magicians. It sounded like, oh, he pulls it out of a hat and he's fake. I just you know, the magic is an art, right, but it is different than doing real magic, right? I? Suppose I don't know. Harrison can get on here and yell at me about it. Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 1:I guess a magician is a stage magician and a wizard is a person that actually performs.
Speaker 2:Or like a warlock. Maybe he's a warlock.
Speaker 1:He's a wizard.
Speaker 2:Fine, we'll go with magician, it's fine.
Speaker 1:He does magic to clean the kids clothes and and and. He talks about I've he left?
Speaker 2:he's left mankind to retire in memory yeah, so is he like hundreds of years old. Well, you don't know, because like that's kind of the vibe I got, was he? He, you know, for a long time I tried, but I just gave up and now I've retired here well, it's getting harder to do magic because the components that are necessary are hard to find apparently I have newt is no longer available at the, you know, at the corner store at the at at the local ralph Sure.
Speaker 1:At the CVS. So then he gives an explanation about the trash can he's like? It's basically like Pandora's box there's things locked in it that are best not being released. Okay.
Speaker 2:Sure, I don't. I wish just a little bit that I had an origin of what they are.
Speaker 1:They're not going to tell us that, no, no, you can't explain little bit that I had an origin of what they are.
Speaker 2:They're not, they're not going to tell us that. No, no, you can't explain. I thought, maybe because I I honestly I garbage, because it's not something that I participated in growing up. I, that fad totally missed me. So I was wondering if there is like a lore, is there a lore to the garbage pail kids that I don't know about? No, no, they're just okay, they're a parody of the cabbage patch kids and that's all't know about.
Speaker 1:No, no, they're a parody of the Cabbage Patch Kids and that's all they are.
Speaker 2:I know that yeah, okay, I just thought maybe they fleshed out some sort of origin, like what are these things? But all right, let's keep moving.
Speaker 1:No, I think the cards are just like no, what's the green ooze then?
Speaker 2:Who chose to have green ooze in the can.
Speaker 1:Oh, because of Ghostbusters and whatnot.
Speaker 2:Ghostbusters and whatnot. You know other movies.
Speaker 1:It's fine, that's the only reason there's ooze is because of other movies.
Speaker 2:Turtles 2, Secret of the.
Speaker 1:Ooze. Secret of the Okay. So Tangerine is looking in the store. She goes in there. Dodger smells her hair like a creep. He gives her a gift. He's like hitting on her. And then in comes Juice and his boys and they teach him a lesson and the can falls down. They take the kid, they put him in the sewer and then they pour sewage on him and then the Garbage Pail. Kids escape from the pail, come down there and save him, take him back up to the antique store, render first aid and then fart on him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't understand any of it. What did you understand?
Speaker 1:I just laid out all the things that happened.
Speaker 2:One I don't understand. Just going back to the beginning, how did they get the sewer cap off? Those are heavy.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean the Garbage Troll. Kids can kind of do anything, can't they Not?
Speaker 2:the garbage. I'm talking about juice, juice and his friends. They don't have a crowbar. How are they getting the?
Speaker 1:sewer cap off. They showed him pulling it open, didn't they?
Speaker 2:Right, so easily, like he just slides it right off. I've tried. Those are heavy, okay, regardless, that's fine, dan, you want to just suspend disbelief? That's fine.
Speaker 1:Why are they doing? Why did they? They locked him to like a pipe right. It's a matter of principle, they said, because he was hitting on his girl.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, I don't. So then why do the Garbage Pail Kids come?
Speaker 1:rescue him.
Speaker 2:Hold on a second.
Speaker 1:Time out. Well, because he's one of theirs. He's one of theirs.
Speaker 2:He's one of theirs.
Speaker 1:Did you never do anything to protect your girlfriend from unwanted advances in high school, Tony?
Speaker 2:No, although I will tell a story about a kid that was hit on my sister in a derogatory way and then I I grabbed him by the neck, threw him against a locker and I picked him up with one fucking hand and I held him there and then he started crying and then I let him go and he ran away. He left my sister alone. Did you get in trouble for that? I didn't. He didn't tell on me, so like you got to respect that, you know what I mean what would you have done if he told on?
Speaker 2:you. I would just told the truth, I don't care, like, yeah, he said something bad about my sister, so I taught him a lesson. Big deal, suspend me. Oh no, I don't learn anything here anyhow did you ever get suspended, tony?
Speaker 2:uh no, I was a guy with a bit of a kiss ass, you know what I mean. So like I was the kid that I talked a lot and I made a lot of jokes but I also sucked up a lot, so that there's that balance of the teacher kind of hates you but kind of likes you, that's you. That's the balance you have to have in life so you can fuck around, but you're also, you know you, you ingratiate yourself to them oh man, you're such a non-genuine personality.
Speaker 2:I would say that hurts, Dan, but you're not totally wrong.
Speaker 1:He's like what are you? They just run rampant. Then Manzini comes back and he's like, oh, you let them out. And he's like, okay, you've got to get back in the pail, but before they get back in the pail, don't you meet them?
Speaker 2:and then he kind of introduces them it doesn't make any sense for a guy that desperately wants them to put away.
Speaker 1:He also doesn't care, ever and then one of them urinates on himself.
Speaker 2:Right, that's a bunch of times yeah, there's one, the is it the nerd, natty nerd, or just pees all the time and they use it as a joke. I don't get it.
Speaker 1:It's weird, I don't get it and valerie vomit, does not vomit.
Speaker 2:I'm like no, but she fakes vomit, she does the oh, she wretches, and then nothing. So I don't. Maybe that name is misleading. No, it's not it.
Speaker 1:they pay that off at the end of the movie. But everyone, everyone else does their things, except all the the Moabit All the time. Yes, she's like wait for it.
Speaker 2:I'm going to give it to you.
Speaker 1:Okay. So then this is Tony's favorite part of the whole movie. They give Dodger a bath in the middle of the antique store, where he's naked and everyone's watching.
Speaker 2:Not only that, but so this old man who you love I don't know his name. Not only that, but so this old man who you love, I don't know his name, dodger comes back and he's covered in like dirt and he's been beat up. And the guy is like, well, we should clean you up, kid, take off your clothes and let me wipe you down. It's a weird thing. He should go home. Why doesn't Dodger go home to take a bath? I think this is his home, isn't it? You think he?
Speaker 1:lives here. I don't know, did we ever see anything else from Dodger I?
Speaker 2:don't think so. I guess not. But where are his parents? Because Mr Manzini, or whatever, is not his parent.
Speaker 1:I think he sleeps in the trash outside of Tangerine's home so he can watch her constantly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, he's a he's a bit of a creep he looks in her window a bunch.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna ask you a question, tony. Okay, yeah, please did you realize that tangerine's home is right next to the antique store?
Speaker 2:not. For about an hour there was a. There's one moment where he comes out of the door and walks to her door and then you're like, oh, spatially, that makes no sense to me, but I love it so he and, and a number of times he, peeps through her window yeah doesn't get to see anything great.
Speaker 1:But oh, he can see something great later. But you know, yep, uh, the next weird, it's all weird. Uh, okay, next day, tangerine is packing up. I'm like, oh, she's leaving Juice, and he's peeping on her, and then she comes out and she's all like, oh, I'm not leaving him. She didn't actually say that, but she's not leaving him. No, but you realized it. She's going to the dance clubs to sell her clothes, because she's a clothing designer Right, which is great. Other than the fact that she's a child, she's a fashion designer. What?
Speaker 2:I said that, no, it doesn't matter who's a child.
Speaker 1:It's just weird, it's all weird.
Speaker 2:It's all weird, that's what I'm saying. She's a fashion designer selling her own clothes. She's 16, maybe 17 for this movie, I can't tell. Because she is driving, which is weird, yeah, but she's a child driving, which is weird. Yeah, but she's a child. Why is she selling? When does she make these clothes, dan? Do these people go to school? Do any of these children go?
Speaker 1:to school. Maybe it's a spring break or summer break, maybe summer.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I don't know it is weird.
Speaker 1:It is interesting when you set up these child dynamics and you don't reference anything. Like you know. You're just like don't worry about the parents, don't worry about school, don't worry about just running around, who pays the rent, how they pay the rent, just like things just happen yeah, so she pulls out the clothes, everyone into club runs out and start buying everything.
Speaker 1:One girl's a total bitch, uh, at a certain point she sells her own shirt, her own top, and she takes it off and and dodger recoils from the sight of her. Her, yeah, sexuality it was it was a very interesting scene. He's just like recoiling from sexuality yeah, it's just weird.
Speaker 2:The whole thing is weird, like here and here's what's. I don't disagree with the action of that. Like I, he's a young boy and he's probably not seeing. I mean, it's not 2024 where porn is available everywhere.
Speaker 2:This is probably the closest he's gotten to see a pair of boobies, so he's nervous. He's definitely got an erection. He's hiding right. I understand all that, but why is that in the movie? That's why my question why are we even doing that? There's no reason. She could just sell clothes and he could just be admire her for her business prowess. You know that's a reason to like somebody.
Speaker 1:I believe she also sells her skirt and then has to put on another dress. I believe that you are correct.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she just sells the entire. I don't get it.
Speaker 1:But we don't get to see her taking that off and him reacting to even more of her level of undress.
Speaker 2:Because he would probably die. He probably closed his eyes.
Speaker 1:Any of us would probably die on that. The Garbage Pail Kids are looking for food. They steal a truck full of Coke. They run over a van and flatten it like a pancake.
Speaker 2:Which doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:And then they all convene for a feast in the alley around a burning 50-gallon drum.
Speaker 2:Now, Dan, this brings up my biggest question of the whole movie.
Speaker 1:This brings up your biggest question of the whole movie. This brings up your biggest question of the whole movie.
Speaker 2:How am I, how are we, how is the audience supposed to feel about the Garbage Pail kids? I genuinely don't know if I'm supposed to like them, hate them. How am I supposed to? What do they want me to feel about them?
Speaker 1:Well, that's see. The question you're really asking is who is this movie made for?
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1:This movie should be made for teens, right? Yeah, and so the teens, you know, really for 12 to 16 year olds, who are like it's so gross. It's awesome. This is so cool. I love this. This is hilarious. Look at them. They're farting on each other. That's who this movie is made for, but because that's what the stickers are made for yeah, exactly right, and that would make sense, but I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know because they're, they're not. They're not good guys, right? No, but they're not. They're not also like evil, they're just kind of shit birds, you know top to bottom.
Speaker 1:They're just weird fucking things that are doing weird shit in the world.
Speaker 2:And I don't want to hang out with them. I think that's my biggest problem, because as a kid, I should want to hang out with them so that I want to buy your stuff, because there's no reason to make this movie if you're not trying to sell more merch Right, like the whole idea is get the brand out there, make the kids want to buy more cards.
Speaker 1:But I don't you make a good point. They picked the most horror. I mean Alligator is pretty cool except the cannibalism part except the wanting to eat humans.
Speaker 2:I still think that's cool, I think that's funny. No, I mean, I'm not saying it's not funny, but it's kind of weird.
Speaker 1:You don't know if you want to hang out with, with, with a friend who, if you fell asleep, might eat you eat parts of you right who has a lunchbox full of human eyes and fingers that he snacks on it's not just he's keeping it.
Speaker 2:This is the like. I ate the rest of them already, so these are the leftovers. It's pretty fucking weird continuous snacking so yeah, there was no modulation.
Speaker 1:There wasn't like one of one, there wasn't like a couple of Garbage Pail kids that you were sympathetic to. They were all just like. These are things that you'd, you wouldn't have any problem if they were locked back in a trash. Can you wouldn't think I got to get those guys out because they need to live fuller lives?
Speaker 2:No, no, they do not, they should burn, they're just, they should burn they're just monstrous agents of chaos.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, uh, so they have the feast, then they go back. They've ate too much. And then they made some hot threads for the kid because they know, wait, hold on, I just want to this is this is one of my favorite moments of the movie.
Speaker 2:Favorite lines of the movie. After they ate, someone's like my tummy hurts, I ate too much and they're like what did you eat Everything? That'll do it Hilarious. I don't like. If there's more silly things like that in the dialogue. I think I would love it Because that was stupid, but it made me chuckle and I did not chuckle in the right way. Very much for this movie.
Speaker 1:Because all the lines of the Garbage Pail Kids are 80-yard in there. They just come at a million miles an hour.
Speaker 2:And they feel so disconnected to each other. There's no like and obviously they are, because they're all doing it a different time. I assume it's not like they're all in one room doing lines back and forth, right, they call you in, you do it for two hours, you're done. Next person comes in. So there's just no. You can never get a flow of like it, feeling like it's in one area, coalescing.
Speaker 1:It's like an ADR line, it's just thrown in there to sort of mean something, and ADR lines have a tendency to just take you out of the reality of the movie it's. It's so hard to do them well now have you seen these, these new ai fake movie posters where they're like this is coming soon and it's like the real stars and they make the fake poster I haven't, but I believe it.
Speaker 2:I I've seen some of the AI trailers that people have made.
Speaker 1:Because there was one for Anna de Armas' new whatever her, her John Wick, and I'm like wait what. I think they're making that movie, but they're making fake movie posters.
Speaker 2:And you're like wait is that?
Speaker 1:and you're like wait is that? Stupid AI garbage.
Speaker 2:People are using AI wrong. Big surprise humans are the worst. Well, they're the second worst Garbage pail. Kids are worse.
Speaker 1:So they've made him this jacket.
Speaker 2:And the jacket is ugly. Continue.
Speaker 1:Juice is at tangerines, then he leaves and then he shows up wearing the jacket and she's all like, oh my god, this is the greatest jacket ever. It's like this really shitty looking, fake michael jackson-y kind of jacket it's so ugly, it's so cheap and so bad it's so terrible.
Speaker 1:And then she's all like, oh, I need these, make me 12 by friday. And he's all like see. And she's like see you friday. And then kicks him back out. She maybe makes a little bit of move on him to, you know she, oh yeah, no, she's playing him hard like real, real hard and and every time she plays him, you're just like she would have complete control over my existence if she did that, 100%.
Speaker 2:What's nice about it? Nice, I don't know. Is you buy it? Oh yeah, in a movie that makes zero sense. Top to bottom, this relationship. You're like, yeah, no, that would work, that would totally work, 100%, this kid would do anything.
Speaker 1:Her manipulations are very effective she sells her manipulations and you're like this is a girl that could get anything she wanted in the world.
Speaker 2:That's why she goes on to tell a novella. I'm telling I mean I haven't seen any, but I she probably plays similar characters where she's manipulating people and getting her way um, so he goes back, wakes up the garbage bill, kids.
Speaker 1:And then they're all like, of course, oh, they're like, we can't do that, we only have one machine. And then they're like we'll come up with a plan to do it anyways.
Speaker 2:And then they and then what is the plan? They just do, they just sing a song we can.
Speaker 1:Only the song is we can do anything if we do it together, we can do anything by working with each other.
Speaker 2:So as opposed to the part where they're like we only have one machine, so we can't do this. However, if we work together, it's fine.
Speaker 1:That doesn't make any sense so then, as they finish this, the things very easily, perfectly on time and then they find a television and then they hide the television from from dodger for some reason, for no, reason, no reason, there's no reason it doesn't work, and then the one snot's all over it because she says they have to stick it together or something she said I don't know, but it's so much snot, it's gross. You know, most of this movie makes sense. The TV didn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:Because it's not a part of the story.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if the TV was going to distract them from their work. And Dodger got mad at them. I'd be like okay, that's a thing you could do, but they don't do anything like that they don't do anything.
Speaker 2:Also, she says that it works. She's like it works now, but do we see it working? No, it doesn't work. Okay, I didn't think so. All right, just making sure. So they go out. Maybe I missed something huge.
Speaker 1:So they don't have the television. They're like let's go out and do things. A couple of them Most of them go to the movie theater where the Three Stooges are playing and they eat people's hot dogs and they molest the women and they are generally horrible. They cough popcorn on everybody. They just do all these terrible things until everybody has to leave.
Speaker 2:Then the other two oh, they have these little quads that they ride on and then there's also a pen on the back of the quads, which are so cool. By the way, the little ATVvs are the coolest thing I've ever seen. It's like tony's childhood dream. That would have been amazing. Are you kidding me to zip around town on one of those at like eight to ten years old? I would have been a terror.
Speaker 1:That would have been amazing I always looked at those, the little. Ride your own vehicles in this year's catalog. Like the like, the little cars, the little electric car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, all that was. It would have been so cool.
Speaker 1:And then the other ones end up at the biker bar, where Allie tries to bite a guy's feet off, and then Wendy, hold on, wendy farts all over them, and then he uses kung fu, and then one of them's like she's got guts drinks for everyone, and those two get drunk.
Speaker 2:Right what? Because they're children, the whole point is they're? Children. Are they children? I don't know, I genuinely don't know, but I can tell you that they're small and I can tell you that they look like children-ish. They don't have IDs.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that they have to check IDs in the 80s but, it's weird, perhaps, uh-oh, oh, we're back.
Speaker 2:Maybe they're thousands of years old Maybe, but they don't have IDs that would prove it. You don't look at them and are like, yeah, you could drink, come on in.
Speaker 1:It's weird that they went to a bar you need to ask them when they got their social security cards also, dan.
Speaker 2:People aren't gonna know what that is in reference to. I'm not putting that in the beginning of the show. Dodger goes into the bar at some point too. I don't think it's this one, it's the second one late later later later he goes into the bar, but also like he can't just walk into a bar he can't do it.
Speaker 1:I mean a biker bar. There's probably not a guy that chicken id is a biker you don't think there's a bouncer, I don't know. I've seen roadhouse, so I know that they exist there's some bars you can walk into and then they'll just card you at the bar I guess maybe, I don't know you're thinking. You're thinking of like clubs. There's clubs that are that's true, there'll be a line. You got to get a stamp I can only think of clubs that that restrict the excess of people that are too young okay all right, I can't think of a bar, because you can just walk well, did you not see roadhouse?
Speaker 2:because that's what they do, dan. That's literally the plot of the movie. They stand at the door, they let people in. I haven't seen Roadhouse.
Speaker 1:There's the chubby guy. Either one Can I have some water, because you're disappointed in my lack of Roadhouse knowledge. I'm jicking water now because I'm disappointed.
Speaker 2:I'm a little disappointed because we did watch Roadhouse for this show. No, we didn't. We watched the new one. No, we didn't. With Jake Gyllenhaal, didn't we? We didn't do that. Did we not do that? We should have done that.
Speaker 1:You watched it and thought we did it for the show.
Speaker 2:We didn't do it. I watched it on my own accord.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow, because I've never seen either one, because I want to see it Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, we probably should have done it.
Speaker 1:You probably just watched it because you were like you look so jacked up in the ads.
Speaker 2:You're right about that and I love the original. I can't believe that we did. I thought for sure, we did that for this show.
Speaker 1:Okay. So back at the antique store, Juice sees them. Captain Manzini yells at Alligator and is like since you're the leader, you've got to be good, and makes Alli take an oath. Did you think?
Speaker 2:Alli was the leader. No, I've never thought that, not even for a second. He never does anything that's leader-like. Yeah, is this the part where he says what do you expect from a talking alligator? Or?
Speaker 1:something like that probably yeah which is confusing.
Speaker 2:Is he an alligator? I don't know what they are, dan tony wants an explanation of their taxonomy.
Speaker 1:Uh, where do you fit in the the natural history of the world? Okay, then we get a Garbage Pail Kids song and I wrote while they prank people with sewer water oh yeah, they're down in the sewer and there's like these different things and they keep on turning the things Because we saw that earlier when they were in the sewer. They're like we're going to get two uses out of this sewer set and they squirt one guy and then something happens in a jacuzzi or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the jets turn into sewage water, so it's just shooting brown water into the jets. Here's my biggest problem with that scene is the people in the hot tub. All that happens is this this is an exact recreation. Oh no, oh yes.
Speaker 2:That's's it, yes yeah, the woman says oh yes, as like I'm assuming. They mean, like I understand, oh yes, we need to go. They don't even leave, they don't even get out of the hot tub. I don't understand this movie at all. Maybe she's sexually excited by sewer sorry, I shouldn't. I shouldn't judge people.
Speaker 1:I apologize I think ike turner liked it. I think he I'm making this up. Am I imagining?
Speaker 2:I don't know, maybe he liked a video.
Speaker 1:He like put down a piece of plexiglass this might not be right, but a piece of plexiglass and I put a video camera. Then he pooped on it.
Speaker 2:No, no, no one has ever done that in the history of the world. I don't want to hear that. That's not true, dan, you're making this up. Oh, that's horrible. That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 1:We're two of the Garbage Pail Kids, so we got to go there. Man, okay, captain Mendy, still trying to find the spell to drive them back into the can.
Speaker 2:Dan, didn't he write the spell? I don't understand.
Speaker 1:He knows the spell, but he doesn't have the materials, so he's trying to write a new spell. That's gonna work, but it's just music.
Speaker 2:He says the music will work. That doesn't make any sense. That's not a music. He says the music will work.
Speaker 1:That doesn't make any sense. That's not a thing.
Speaker 2:He has a book, that says, oh, he's got a book, then everything makes sense.
Speaker 1:Okay. So Dodger is girl obsessed. He's worried about the Garbage Pail Kids because he finds out that their friends are locked up in the state home for the ugly Uh-huh. What state home for the ugly, uh-huh? So there what. There was a an earlier group of garage bill kids that escaped and have been locked up in this, this home it's.
Speaker 2:I don't. This is the part where I don't understand what the movie's trying to say to me. Why is there a place where ugly people get arrested and then are sent, don't they doesn't say they execute them? Well, I swear. At one point they're like they're going to get executed.
Speaker 1:I don't know yeah.
Speaker 2:But that you can't, you can't do that.
Speaker 1:You can't just kill ugly people you can't in this movie.
Speaker 2:It's, it's bizarre. It's weird, you know, in a movie that doesn't make a lot of sense. This is the weirdest thing that they do. You are correct.
Speaker 1:This is the weirdest thing in this whole movie. So then Captain and Dodger are going to go find it. They see a truck that has a sticker on the side. They hitch a ride. They're like we're going to wait until dark, but Dodger's like no, this is the Friday. So he goes back, takes the clothes, takes them with Tangerine, they go to the club again. They sell them all during a song.
Speaker 2:One song from what I could tell. Yeah, you know what I mean Great job.
Speaker 1:They do really well. And then afterwards Tangerine's like I've got big plans for us. Then she goes in there, goes in and makes out with his ear. Yes, I thought I'll be young again.
Speaker 2:I'll do it right now. If you want dan get over here, get that lobe over here, all right.
Speaker 1:It was like uh, yeah, it's awesome, it's awesome because because that's the one thing about this movie you can you can kind of put your kid. I can kind of put myself in that kid's place.
Speaker 2:For sure, 100%. And you're like wow.
Speaker 2:That's why the garbage pail kids of it makes no sense. Because you want to be that kid. The whole point of this movie is watching it. I should want to be that kid when it's their scenes. I definitely want to be that kid when it's their scenes. I definitely want to be that kid when the garbage pail kids are around. I'm like, why am I hanging out with these guys? These guys suck. These are the worst guys ever. So you have to figure out how to make me want to be with them, even though they're disgusting, because they should be fun. Disgusting is fun. Dan still loves fart jokes.
Speaker 1:You love fart jokes? Not in this movie.
Speaker 2:They're the only jokes, so they got to figure out a way to make me like it. It's dumb.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting in a movie that can evoke that aspect of youth so well that the other, the second aspect of youth, and you know she's going to, you know, you know she's going to screw him over because they don't. You know she says stuff and you're like, you sure do? You know he's not you know it and you're excited uh, okay, she gives the money to juice whenever you know, after any scene with the two of them. Then juice just shows up and she like I love you juice um.
Speaker 2:Why is she giving the money to him, though, like is she not keeping any of the profits?
Speaker 1:It's just his. They're just showing that he's in complete control of the relationship, I guess. Yeah, this is the point at which we realize Tangerine lives right next door to the antique store. And then she meets the Garbage Pail Kids and she's all like she is very derisive of them. Like through the rest of the movie she never gets on board with the Garbage Pail Kids as you would, because they're the worst. And now we learn that she's set up a fashion show at the Bundy's department store and so she meets the. How would she do that? I guess she'd talk to the lady that's.
Speaker 2:I know I it's a it's a question that doesn't have an answer. I just don't like it.
Speaker 1:It's just uh this this movie has a plot that doesn't make any sense no, it doesn't make any sense what are you gonna have the garbage pail? Kids, do make clothes, make clothes why?
Speaker 2:based on what? Where? Where does that come from? When I look at the cards, when I look at the cards, I don't. I bet they'd make some great outfits. I don't understand how this who wrote this movie it's pretty funny.
Speaker 1:She makes out with Juice the Garbage Pail. Kids are not going to give help until you help your friends.
Speaker 2:Oh, so they're all like.
Speaker 1:We're not going to make the clothes until you help us. Help our friends, free our friends from the police. So these are like okay, we're working on a plan, okay, I wrote back to home. Oh, so we go back to the home. Manzini tries to get in, and he tries to sneak in and they catch him, and then they're like no visitors, and then they have to flee.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That's fine. The Garry's Pilt kids are having a dance party at the store, not surprisingly.
Speaker 2:Not surprisingly Okay.
Speaker 1:They're like we need a transition. What are they doing to transition back up to have a dance?
Speaker 2:just dancing. Just just have them dance, I don't know. Don't have them talk, it's too hard easier just overhead shot dancing put on some music.
Speaker 1:How much it's. We just gotta buy a song. Song cost, you know, a couple thousand dollars done maybe even less back then, I don't know so that tangerine shows up again and they're like let us be models in your show. And she's all like you're too damn ugly, uh. And then they're all like we want to go, and so they're gonna do costumes again.
Speaker 1:Oh, the last time they left, they all put on trench coats and this and then to get go to the fashion show, they dress up like clowns yep, you know, because that's what people want at fashion shows so she locks them up so that they're not going to be able to ruin the thing and she bolts the door and then they all cry. And then Manzini says he figures out the spell, and then juice comes to the store and with he opens the locked door, somehow that tangerine has the key.
Speaker 1:She puts the key in here, and we expect that will be some plot point where you have to retrieve that key.
Speaker 2:It's not.
Speaker 1:I was ready for that plot point. I bet you were um juice just lets him out and then puts I thought juice juice just grabbed greaser, but he grabbed. They grab all of them yeah, yeah, everybody and they're bringing them to the home, uh we got the backstage of the fashion show tangerines being being terrible. They take all the things to the home for the ugly and then they make a large bounty for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bounty Okay.
Speaker 1:So if you, kidnap ugly people, you can then take them.
Speaker 2:You get paid. People are paying other people to get ugly people off the street. That is the craziest thing in a movie ever and we don't deal with it. There's no talking about how crazy that is. It's just a fact of nature that if you're ugly, watch your back because people might try to kidnap you and throw you in prison for money.
Speaker 1:Did you ever see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when you were a kid?
Speaker 2:I probably saw it when I was a child.
Speaker 1:There's like when they go to the one town, at the end there's like the child catcher, who's this big ugly guy with a giant nose who has a big net and he puts the children in a cage. So horrifying.
Speaker 2:What does he do with the kids then?
Speaker 1:Well, because the king of the town wants to be basically the only child, so he wants to help. I want to have all the toys or something like that, why he eliminates the competition.
Speaker 2:I kind of like it, that's fun.
Speaker 1:It's pretty great.
Speaker 2:Now, if this movie had some sort of plot or reason why they locked up ugly people, maybe I would like it. That's fun, it's pretty great. Okay, now, if this movie had some sort of plot or reason why they locked up ugly people, maybe I would like it more.
Speaker 1:But it's just random so now we're inside the prison, the home of the home for the, for the ugly, and in eat. We have all these cages and on each cage we have a little plaque that says why they're there it gives you the reason of why they're too ugly to live, too old too bald, too weird, too fat, the too fat is santa claus, santa claus.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's a real santa claus. I don't know if it's a shopping mall santa claus they don't tell me what it is but it's just one santa claus. So I have to imagine that's the real santa claus, otherwise they'd have a bunch of shopping mall santa claus is locked up, but just the war. It's a real santa claus. Someone was getting a gift and was like man, this guy's too ugly to give me gifts, kidnaps him, throws him in jail for money too gross.
Speaker 1:That's where they put all the garbage. Pail kids too pale, too silly.
Speaker 2:That's where the clown is too silly now that one I took offense to because that's not ugly Like you could. I don't know. That seemed unfair.
Speaker 1:Too weird. Too weird is not ugly, weird is weird.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Then the guards are talking about what's going to happen to the garbage bill. Kids in there the guy makes like the trash compactor.
Speaker 2:Yep, they just smush them. They just smush him to death. They're going to kill him.
Speaker 1:Dodger and the captain arrive at the home. Oh no wait. Dodger realizes his betrayal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's been used.
Speaker 1:And the bad guys throw him in the trash can. So then he and the captain go to the home. Meanwhile the fashion show is going on. The new concept in youth fashion trashy, flashy and fun.
Speaker 2:Which I think that's just fashion Like that just describes a lot of fashion to me. I don't know, not that I'm a fashionista Look at what I'm wearing but I feel like that's not that new.
Speaker 1:So what is Dodger's big plan? To save the Garbage Pail Kids.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't remember.
Speaker 1:Yes, you remember, I do. He enlists the aid of someone or someone's.
Speaker 2:Someone or someone's, a group of people oh, from the biker bars. He goes and gets his biker friends, his best friends in the world Now. So this is why I asked if he was there earlier, because all he does is run into the bar and says they took the guys or something like that, the guys need our help. And then runs out and these guys all follow him. But if he wasn't there the first time, how would they have any idea what he's talking about? Some strange child runs into your bar and is like the guys need our help, and then runs away and everyone knows what he means I don't think he was there I don't think he was there either, but I I was hoping maybe he wasn't.
Speaker 2:I was confused, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Someday we'll do the rewatch and then we'll find that out, If we remember.
Speaker 2:I'll do it tomorrow.
Speaker 1:So the bikers go, manzini sneaks in, he uses some magic, the bikers tear down the gate. That's where they have the Peter Dinklage cameo. And then we learned that the other kids that were there, their friends, had been killed. You know what? They should have done they should have just had one of the garbage bill kids there and then made like one more head that they didn't use in the rest of the movie, right? Yeah, sure, yeah it didn't need to have a whole group of them there that got murdered that, but they did, dan.
Speaker 1:They want you to understand how bad being ugly truly is yeah, they could have left out the the baby one, but the baby one really didn't add anything to.
Speaker 2:The movie doesn't do much of anything, but it is the closest to a cabbage patch doll, right, I think yeah, probably yeah so now I don't think I had those either.
Speaker 1:So we get my favorite scene of the movie, which is where, one by one, we see each and every garbage pile kid lifted out of a window by the bikers. This is a scene. I usually don't call for scenes being cut, but we literally see some of the. We see Santa Claus and those people come. Then each and every one of the then Dodger comes out.
Speaker 2:I'm like we do not need to see everyone. It's a pretty short movie. We need to stretch the time out, but we need to keep stretching.
Speaker 1:Come on not with this scene.
Speaker 2:This is no well, because they spent all this money making them look good. Then you know you got to take them out the window, save them all this is what dodger says time to stop being losers I didn't know they were, because up until this moment it seems like they were kind of winning, until they got kidnapped.
Speaker 1:Yes, so they don't know, they go to the fashion show and raise hell yeah, they fuck shit up.
Speaker 2:I mean we got people running all over the place, scantily clad people running around, because they're all like mid-change for some reason no, tony, you weren't paying attention.
Speaker 1:I guess at this point the garbage pile, kids tear the clothing off of the girls. Is that what they did? You're right, I wasn't paying attention because they made the clothing. So they want the clothing back.
Speaker 2:So they're like this is ours. Oh god, you're right. I was not paying enough attention. I was I listen this movie.
Speaker 1:I mean, and you're just like this is incredible, they're tearing the clothes off of girls and they're running around in their underwear.
Speaker 2:I'm like this movie's incredible this how, how can you mess up a movie that has that in it? You know what I mean as a as a young boy, I should. That should be my favorite movie of all time.
Speaker 1:Should be a favorite uh, the farting one goes and farts on the whole audience, driving them off.
Speaker 2:And then finally the barfing.
Speaker 1:one Vicky Vomit barfs on a couple of people I'm like fine, we'll do some barfing.
Speaker 2:Great, Nice payoff.
Speaker 1:Dodger attacks. Juice. Juice throws him off. One of the Garbage Pail kids gives him a boost. And what does he do? He tea bags, juice, yeah yeah, he sure does and then he's beating him, and then just punching him right in the face captain mancini pulls him off and he starts to cry. That was one of the. That was the truce reaction in the whole movie was so real because you Because you know you got that adrenaline going.
Speaker 2:You're just beating the shit out of someone and then you like calm down for a second. You're like what just happened? I am distraught.
Speaker 1:It's the next night or it's later. That night Tangerine calls to him, she apologizes and she says let's just be friends. And he's like, no thanks, You're not pretty anymore.
Speaker 2:Right. So here's my question, dan she's still incredibly attractive? Well, of course she is, but what is this movie trying to say about ugliness? I just don't understand. It's a theme of the movie, I know that for sure. I just don't know what they're trying to say. I know that for sure. I just don't know what they're trying to say Because there's a moment where the magician guy he's like ugliness is not in the mirror, it's what's inside, which is now. They hit that again at the end, where he's like you're not pretty anymore, so I don't want to be friends with you, which we'll talk about in a second, because that's weird. So they're trying to say ugliness is on the inside, not the outside. However, the garbage pail kids are ugly like, they're super ugly, and they're ugly inside and outside. There is no redeeming quality of them, so that is not part of the like. If they were charming, but ugly, that's, then I get it. So I don't understand the message everything about them.
Speaker 1:She's she's a terrible person, but she's super hot and you know what?
Speaker 2:she's gonna go on to be incredibly successful she's gonna be fine, she's gonna be totally fine, she's.
Speaker 1:So now the mic they should have like no, she's fine gree greaser greg should have cut her up, you know. Cut her ears. It's dark man. Now you're in full dark now.
Speaker 2:Now you're as ugly as you are inside, is what?
Speaker 1:greaser greg should oh my god, that's, I like it. She probably, she'd probably be really hot with a scar right there you know you got problems.
Speaker 2:You got problems, dan. No, but so here's my. So he is like I don't want to be friends with you because you're not pretty anymore. That doesn't make sense. That she doesn't have to be pretty for you to be friends with you. Don't want to be friends with her because she didn't want to sleep with you, bro. So I don't like this kid in the end because he's like oh, I'm bitter, you didn't like me, so now I don't like this kid in the end because he's like oh, I'm bitter, you didn't like me, so now I don't like you.
Speaker 1:He doesn't want to be friends with her because she's manipulative and she doesn't have any real feelings for him.
Speaker 2:Then he should say that and not say you're not pretty anymore, because that's a weird reason to not be friends with somebody.
Speaker 1:He only wants to be friends with people that are pretty.
Speaker 2:Right. That doesn't make him a good person. That makes him a garbage pail kid so Manzini's figured it out.
Speaker 1:To put them back in the can, he has to just play their song backwards. He starts playing the song backwards on a piano and it sounds backwards even though he's playing it on a piano, and then they just all leave what happens to him?
Speaker 2:he falls in the can he, he gets sucked into the can. I don't believe he falls into it. I believe he somehow gets sucked into the can.
Speaker 1:It doesn't make any sense so they ride off on their quads and and he's fine with it this is he's just like. This doesn't make any sense. I I guess they're running wild.
Speaker 2:He has spent the whole movie trying to get them back into the garbage can, and at the end he's just like, ah, fuck it.
Speaker 1:It doesn't make any sense. So they ran off to have new adventures and everyone's happy.
Speaker 2:Or get locked up and murdered in ugly jail, because that's what's going to happen very quickly.
Speaker 1:Because there's probably more than one ugly jail.
Speaker 2:There's got to be. I feel like they're probably everywhere.
Speaker 1:And it's not like they stopped the ugly jail. They just got people out of the ugly jail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they just let some people out, which are definitely already back in there, because again, it's a bounty. So people are looking for ugly people to lock up so they can make a little money, because money's hard. Dan Times are tough.
Speaker 1:Oh, money's hard. Now we have the end credit song, which is we Are All Special.
Speaker 2:It's kind of a banger, though, like I enjoyed it, it was good. I had a good time with it.
Speaker 1:This movie's just insane. It's bizarre. This is a movie you could put on at parties and then just watch five minutes of it and go like. This is insane.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we got to get way more high right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah so thumbs up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wild Times, great choice, really fun. Thanks for doing that with me, dan.
Speaker 1:Is this better than what was the one about Mac and Me?
Speaker 2:No, I don't think I do love. Now that we're talking about it, there's one dance number in Mac and Me and there's one musical number in this one. That's a weird connection I never thought of.
Speaker 1:Very similar kinds of movies that are just made with only commerce and they just end up being so fucking weird.
Speaker 2:You're just like what is Bizarro world.
Speaker 1:The thinking. You know when you need to make these movies in two months, you're just like give me a script.
Speaker 2:Let's go Give me some special effects.
Speaker 1:You know have the weirdest people make the Super Mario Bros movie because who cares?
Speaker 2:Amen to that.
Speaker 1:And those are the movies that are the best bad movies, in my opinion.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Tony, what do you got for us this week? Anything out there that you enjoyed.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, big time. I mean, you already mentioned it, but Beverly Hills Cop Axel F came out. I've watched it twice already. Oh really, I love it. It's good, I absolutely love it. So I am curious to know, because I haven't really looked it up. I'm curious to know how people feel that weren't in love with the originals. Beverly Hills Cop won one of my favorite movies of all time. I love it, this movie, a wonderful sequel to that. Like it, the, the spirit, the vibe. It feels like an 80s movie made in 2024, which I love. Like it's slower paced than a lot of things like the, the action and the comedy. It feels old school. Oh, okay, and it's. I just, I just love it. I smiled through the time the first time I watched it. I could not stop smiling.
Speaker 1:Well, I'll watch it because I don't have for a person like me who's I've dealt with so much nostalgia in my existence I no longer have a lot of nostalgia.
Speaker 2:It's been taken out of you. You've used it all up.
Speaker 1:I've come to terms with nostalgia and I I feel like I can judge things based on where where I'm at and okay, yeah, yeah, do that for me and let me know, I definitely want to watch it yeah, I, I loved it, I loved, I had a great time.
Speaker 2:How about you? What do you got?
Speaker 1:we watched this, this uh crime documentary the perfect wife. I think it was on netflix okay three episodes uh billed as the real life gone girl was it like what?
Speaker 2:okay, yeah, maybe I should watch it. That's scary though it's, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, yeah, it's pretty interesting, pretty pretty much like yeah, wow, wow, wow, wow. This woman, this woman gets kidnapped and she fakes it.
Speaker 2:That's oh man, okay, I got. I'll have to wait three episodes are they each an hour?
Speaker 1:a little under an hour, I think okay, yeah, we can knock that out watch the first one. If you like the first one, keep going. If you don't like the first one, then stop, because it's you know because it's more the same. It's pretty much yeah, you see where it's going all right, all right interesting okay, so tony episode you got to give us something you know. This is starting, our second, our third 100 movies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly the third 100, starting now which?
Speaker 1:was a tough choice which will culminate number 300, which I will also get to pick.
Speaker 2:That can't. Well, now it will be right, because now we're on, we somehow switched. I don't know when it happened, but we switched odds and evens, which is probably good.
Speaker 1:It's your show, I tricked you, I tricked you, tony.
Speaker 2:It was my plan the whole time to get those 100 anniversary.
Speaker 2:Got to get the big ones, oh my. So this was a tough choice for me, because this movie that we just watched, garbage Pail Kids, was nominated for several Razzies the year that it came out, and Aston was, or no, sorry, the Garbage Pail Kids were nominated for Worst Newcomer, or something like that. Ok, and it lost to a movie that I really want to do. But we're going to save that for my next choice, because it turns out, if I'm doing my math correctly, a movie movie's about to come out and we need to do something related to it.
Speaker 2:So what we're doing, that's an explanation so what we are doing is, of course, uh, x-men origins wolverine so that we can get ready for deadpool and wolverine which comes out, I believe, the week that this episode will drop, if I did it correctly.
Speaker 1:So is this the Deadpool one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Deadpool is in it. It is Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. It's their first movie together and it's wonderful. I love it, yeah.
Speaker 1:Wait, you love this movie or you hate this movie? This is the one where Deadpool his mouth is stitched up Right, that's this one.
Speaker 2:That's it. That's the one.
Speaker 1:It's not a good movie.
Speaker 2:No, I didn't say it was a good movie. I said I enjoy the movie and we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it next week. I have fond memories of this movie.
Speaker 1:I remember seeing it and being I I think I was like I'm not going to movie theaters for this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 1:And then I saw it afterwards and I was just like the. The big battle at the end is just like so nonsense, so very terrible, yeah, yeah yeah, a bunch of gobbledygook.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, so that's what we're doing to get ready for Deadpool and Wolverine. That comes out July 26th. Oh, it comes out this month.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, that's going to be a big movie.
Speaker 2:Let's hope Movies are weird right now.
Speaker 1:What you mean. I did great.
Speaker 2:Bad Boys.
Speaker 1:Bad Boys did great.
Speaker 2:Bad Boys did great, but not everything's done great.
Speaker 1:Well, I told did great but not everything's done great. Well, I told you fall guy didn't do great because it's not good but it's not bad, but it's not good but it's not bad. People, mediocre movies used to make a lot of money, used to. Yeah, you, I don't think you can make a lot of money with a media, with a movie that's not really. You know, like I know, I don't know, we didn't see oppenheimer, but barbie is an incredibly good movie. Yes, so you're like, I've watched, I've rewatched that.
Speaker 1:I look at movies that I rewatch. Sure, and it's like I would. I'll never go back to Fall Guy, Never in a million years. I mean, I didn't finish it either.
Speaker 2:You might but you're, you didn't finish it. You don't even know what the twist is. There was what was the twist I can't, I'm not gonna say it if people haven't seen it. It's still too new. Still too new, whatever. When did you stop it? I don't know.
Speaker 1:All right, well, he went to like the he went to yeah, the guy's not dead. He went to his apartment.
Speaker 2:He was settled set it all up or something. Sure is that the twist. Yeah, something like that, that's a terrible twist, it was stupid. You're a terrible twist.
Speaker 1:I don't care, I'm like what was that good movie we saw, the one with Sandra Bullock and what's his name?
Speaker 2:The Lost City. I actually just re-watched that last week.
Speaker 1:The Lost.
Speaker 2:City. I watched that at work.
Speaker 1:And that's a movie you'll re rewatch every year for the rest of your life, cause it's fucking good.
Speaker 2:I don't know about every year, but I you know I'll. I'll rewatch it for sure it's fun.
Speaker 1:It's a fun romp. The twists are good, the characters are good. You like me, daniel Radcliffe in that movie is he's the bad guy, he's great, so fun, I mean. And you look at fall guy, you're like this is not that movie.
Speaker 2:No, no, it's not.
Speaker 1:And I I expect if I'm going to watch a movie again it's going to have to be that level, you know, that level of fun, yeah.
Speaker 2:I get that. I've rewatched dungeon and dragons probably 12 times, 15 times, like a bunch.
Speaker 1:Dungeons and Dragons is going to go down as a very questionable failure and it's going to go down as a movie that people love forever, Because everybody see that's the thing about Dungeons and Dragons Everybody in that movie is going to get work for the rest of their lives based on that movie.
Speaker 2:Sure Sure.
Speaker 1:They're going to be like that. That's not ever gonna count as a knock on any of the people in that movie oh, totally, or anybody affiliated with that movie yeah, people just won't ever understand why that movie was a failure I still don't.
Speaker 2:No, I love it so much.
Speaker 1:It's a good movie, it's delightful anyhow so we'll be back talking about x-men origins, wolverines. Yep, that's it, and if you like what you see, give us a thumbs up, leave a comment, even subscribe. Those are things you can do to help us.
Speaker 2:And leave a rating on your podcast wherever you get the podcast. If you're listening to a podcast, that was bad.
Speaker 1:I should work on that. I think some people do. Can you ever figure out how many people listen to a podcast?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know exactly how many people listen to each episode.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You have to tell me that. You can probably guess, dan, we'll be back next week doing those things.
Speaker 2:Goodbye everybody. Hey watching with Dan and Tony. Hey watching with Dan and Tony. Hey watching with Dan and Tony. It's a watching game.