Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Hitman: Agent 47
Ever wondered how you could create a hit game app without the annoyance of ads? Join us for a hilarious brainstorming session where we tackle that conundrum and somehow land on coining an unfortunate term, "HPV," for hybrid YouTube videos and podcasts. We then dive headfirst into the chaotic world of "Hitman: Agent 47," where we dissect everything from implausible survival tactics to convoluted plots, while reminiscing about the golden era of Roger Corman's double-feature films. If you've ever questioned the logic of movie chase scenes or the quality of their dialogue, this one's for you!
Next, we take a stab at unraveling the complex web of DNA manipulation and genetic editing, comparing it to everything from Jurassic Park to a romantic comedy. We break down the science and sprinkle in some ethical considerations, making sure to keep it light and accessible. Our discussion doesn't shy away from critiquing the absurdities of action-packed movie moments, from improbable escapes to laughable character developments. You'll find our humorous take on these scenes both entertaining and thought-provoking.
To top it all off, we share some nostalgia about iconic comic book characters and tease our upcoming review of "Gemini Man." Plus, a few light-hearted debates on seafood restaurants and the art of cheddar biscuits! Don't miss our closing reminder to like, subscribe, and stay tuned for more engaging (and often comically critical) discussions. Special shoutout to our loyal listeners, Todd and Tom, for sticking with us through the madness. Tune in for our next episode where we promise another rollercoaster ride through the world of movies!
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should we make a game and just make money off apps? Maybe we should do that, Dan Do you know how to do that.
Speaker 2:I made a game and I lost a lot of money, did you?
Speaker 1:have ads in the game. I don't feel like you did. That's your problem, of course not. I hate ads, yeah well that's how you make your money back, Dan.
Speaker 2:No, you get it by people actually downloading it. That's how you have to make some.
Speaker 1:That's how you start, then you could run ads in there. Yeah, that is. It's a good first step.
Speaker 2:Yeah welcome to watching with dad and tony. I'm Dan, I'm Tony, and on this podcast, should we call it a podcast? Maybe we'll call it a podcast Vodcast. You know, somebody needs to come up with a blanket term for things that are YouTube shows and podcasts.
Speaker 1:Is vodcast. Is that really the thing? I don't believe that. I don't think. Think so because technically a vodcast is just a video podcast. I don't think it necessarily includes pod. You know what I mean. Like a vodcast is a podcast on youtube. I don't know, I don't know, we'll just call it a show.
Speaker 2:There needs to be a hybrid thing because, like, there's like this one show I watch, and you know I watch it on youtube, but you could also listen to it as a podcast, because they're are on there talking, but it's all you know. You don't need to see them talking. There needs to be a hybrid term. Come on, guys, come up with a hybrid term.
Speaker 1:Why don't you coin it? Come up with it next week. We'll start it, and then that's how we'll finally get popular.
Speaker 2:Dan, we'll be the guys, that start of a revolution Come up with the name On this hybrid podcast hybrid HPV it's an HPV.
Speaker 1:I think that's bad, isn't that bad?
Speaker 2:I believe it's a terrible venereal disease. But there you go, I like it.
Speaker 1:I'm going to get a shirt that says it.
Speaker 2:One of us selects a movie, Then we talk about the movie and this week I get to select the movie and I've selected Hitman Agent 47, 2015. This is a really sweet spot Hour and 37 minutes. You can never truly be afraid of a movie that's an hour and 37 minutes.
Speaker 1:I mean, you can be afraid of anything, dan. That's what cowards do, all right.
Speaker 2:They were talking about. Roger Corman just died. Do you know who Roger Corman is?
Speaker 1:Is that Train?
Speaker 2:Yeah, what are you talking?
Speaker 1:about. I don't know who that is.
Speaker 2:Roger Corman, one of the most important directors of all time.
Speaker 1:Oh, I see what's the bassist's name from Train, because he died as well. He slipped and fell in the shower at like 53. Very sad stuff, but continue with your story about your death.
Speaker 2:Did a whole thing with my wife about Train and she was getting them confused with the band Wire and then we realized there's also a band named Wire Train which was adding into the mix to make everything confusing. That's pretty good. Roger Corman was an independent film director. He was also the guy who gave a ton of people their first break. Like who? I believe? Francis Ford Coppola. You know people like that, 70s guys, sure old people, we have to do that.
Speaker 1:So this was like an old guy is what you're saying. And you're asking me if I know. I only know one old guy, dan, it's you.
Speaker 2:There it is. He directed Little Shop of Horrors.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, yeah, I love that movie. Okay great, Not the Rick Moranis one. Wait, there's a different one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a horror movie. It was initially a horror movie.
Speaker 1:It was initially a horror comedy.
Speaker 2:All right, so I haven't seen that Dan. So is that one not?
Speaker 1:a musical? No, it's not a musical. I don't want to see it. I'm not interested in that. If they're not singing about Seymour, I'm out. I don't know what the point was. Roger Corman died RIP.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I um rip, sorry I made jokes, oh so, but oh, back when he started listening to a podcast about him and they were talking about it like his first movies were like movies that played in the theater. There were double, double, uh features. Yeah, I love that 61 minutes long oh, I guess I never realized.
Speaker 1:So is a double help me out as a double feature, two movies that are the same length of a regular movie? Is that the point of it?
Speaker 2:I think probably you're talking about the first one, maybe 90 minutes, then you have an intermission, then the second one is, like you know, I guess 61 minutes.
Speaker 1:So these were not Interesting, okay.
Speaker 2:These were TV show level movies. I would think at that point.
Speaker 1:Those were the days probably, huh.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:In and out lickety split.
Speaker 2:So Hitman Agent 47, 2015, the sweet spot of movies Hour and 37 minutes. First thoughts Not the worst movie in the world.
Speaker 1:Not the worst movie in the world, but the acting was pretty subpar for me. I didn't think that that was our strong suit in this movie, this me. I didn't think that that was our strong suit in this movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean this movie. It didn't have a lot of strong suits, but it it had an idea of what movie it was supposed to be. You know, they give you like these clues where it's like well, this is, this is what it's about. And then you'd be like oh, is this? It's going to get very tense.
Speaker 1:And then they'd be like but we don't know, we just wanted you to know, we just wanted you to have that information. And you're like you know, there's something interesting and then we're going to move on and we'll do something else for a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So there, there's a number of things like that in the movie where you're like, oh about it, they didn't just, they didn't just die hard five it.
Speaker 1:You know, just like throw a bunch of stuff at the wall. It's like, no, yeah, yeah, things are happening, but there's definitely the russia some stuff.
Speaker 2:Um, you have anything to say? As we before, we really get like just my cliff notes I kind of gave it like I subpar acting.
Speaker 1:I do wish that I had seen the 2007 Hitman, just to see how Mr Oliphant did the character, just to compare it to this guy who I've never met before. I don't think I'm familiar with his work and you know, I didn't think he was terrible, but there were moments where I was just like man, that's a different guy. You're playing a different character for a little bit here, which is fine, it happens. You know, I'm not judging. I wish it would have been stronger, tighter acting, because the action sequences were terrible. So I needed something to pull me through and I didn't feel like I found that.
Speaker 2:Certainly the action sequences. You just sort of would write down action sequence occurs which is what the script says.
Speaker 1:That's why it's so funny to me, right? Because when you're writing the script, it's line, line, line and then a line of action. That's like fight scene, right. Like he fights, this person wins. That's the scene and that's just what we shot. Like we didn't, we didn't get creative with it, we it, we didn't take the time to be like let's really choreograph something fun here. We just did a little fight and this person won, and then we move on to the next.
Speaker 2:Those John Wick movies really ruined. Action movies they ruined action movies.
Speaker 1:I mean it's unfair because they're so good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean to someone like me. They're enjoyable To someone like you, they're so good. Yeah, I mean to someone like me, they're enjoyable To someone like you, they're incredible. You're just like ah, you've probably watched those movies over and over again right.
Speaker 1:We've seen them a bunch of times. Yeah, Absolutely. And then movies come out like Monkey man with Dev Patel, and it's not the same level, but it's really good and that's where we need to be.
Speaker 2:We need to be at really good now, because the bar is so much higher than it used to be. This movie you're like. Well, the plot, the answer to my ideas, the action stuff, well, you know, it's well lit, it's all well lit, it's well lit.
Speaker 1:They had lights on set. Congratulations, you pointed them at the actors. Good for you guys.
Speaker 2:You know the acting and the costumes and the locales You're like well, some of the suits didn't fit right, did you?
Speaker 1:notice that Some of these people's suits were like a little too big, so the shoulders would come out a little too far, and when they like lift their arms, it really bunches up. I just it was interesting because you could also just be like, hey, do you have a suit that you could bring in? And then the suits would fit. But it felt like they just were like well, we bought a 52 regular and now that's what you're going to wear for the day. So, by the way, that's my suit size.
Speaker 2:If anyone wants to buy me a suit. It's 52 regular. I don't know what that.
Speaker 1:I don't know what that means it means I'm fat, it means I'm barrel chested and got a nice belly. So I'm like a 12. I don't think it goes that small. That's like a child suit. I'm pretty sure You'd probably be in the maybe 30s. I'm making that up, I don't know. I don't know. I haven't been to a men's warehouse in a long time.
Speaker 2:Trust me, I am no longer in my 30s. We start off with a bunch of voiceover. That's setting up the world. The history of man is defined by war. We're going to go create the perfect killing machine the agent. No fear, dan.
Speaker 1:Yes, whose voiceover is this? Who's? Telling me this information it's a woman. No, I know it's a woman, but know it's a woman. But what woman is it? The main daughter?
Speaker 2:well, I mean no, it's absolutely not her right. So who?
Speaker 1:who's telling me that I?
Speaker 2:don't understand what's happening?
Speaker 1:we'll get to that, okay we've been in that one I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:All right, continue so basically, this super scientist dude did this program. Then they shut down the program and now people are trying to find the dude. And to find the dude you've got to find this girl and then that's going to let you find Lev Manko, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah right, that's what they try to tell you, yeah.
Speaker 2:So, basically, what we're going to have is we're going to have this thing called the syndicate who's trying to get this guy. Trying to just get him, not get him back, just trying to get him right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, so they're trying to get him. Then we're going to have the agent who is hired and controlled by Donna.
Speaker 1:What was her?
Speaker 2:name. He has a handler, he has sort of an.
Speaker 1:East Asian handler woman who runs them. I assumed it was also the syndicate. That's why I was so confused.
Speaker 2:They don't specify who runs the agents and so you're just like and so somebody's paying the agent. Yeah to do a thing and we don't know who they are. We never find out who they are and they never even act like it means anything that we know you should probably play the video games, dan.
Speaker 1:If you want answers to these questions, you got to play the video games, I assume. I don't know, I didn't play these games. These were not. These were not games that I ever, like, uh, ever, tried. I don't know you know.
Speaker 2:So you know with the john wick. You know that there's like this whole. You know there's all this it builds out a world they build out a world this one they're just like he's just hired by someone for a reason, for stuff and thin things. Yeah, you know, and what the real movie would have been is like dude should have hired the hitman to kill him, or something like that.
Speaker 2:You needed some spin at the end where you're like, oh, he hired them and that's what's happening, but instead we have a hitman who's ostensibly trying to kill the girl, to try to kill the scientist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what we think's happening. Well she's the secondary target and he's the main target.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we're like okay, so the syndicate is trying to find him, hitman's trying to kill him. So there's going to be some conflict. Yeah, Big time In Germany. The agent is activated and then he gets this building to get evacuated, then these three cars go and then he starts blowing them up.
Speaker 1:Right Yep.
Speaker 2:I guess he somehow planted bombs because he knows where they're going to drive.
Speaker 1:Which is pretty shocking to me, because there's no other cars on the street, so how would you know which roads they're going to take?
Speaker 2:I don't know, I really don't. Now that I think about it, I don't even know what the scene is about don't.
Speaker 1:Now that I think about it, I don't even know what the scene is about. Uh, someone's getting to somewhere because eventually one of the cars goes down a little ramp in the middle of the road and then it's.
Speaker 2:It's somebody that made it to their base I guess, I guess these people are syndicate people yeah, yeah, because it's like the main syndicate guy that then spends the rest of the time at his computer terminal no, that's this is a different guy it's not him, I don't think, oh, maybe I don't know, I haven't seen this movie in hours, so yeah, so he blows up because he blows up the dude, because he's like you won't find her, and then he blows up, he gets blowed up so, oh, you're right, it's a different scientist guy.
Speaker 1:Right, because there's that great line where the scientist guy goes well, we already found the dad and he's hard at work. And then the next line is him going? You didn't find him. He's not there and he's like, ah, shoot, you got me. It's really great dialogue. Just 10 out of 10 stuff.
Speaker 2:So yeah, okay, so now we go to the. Now we see the syndicate head of corner guy at the thing and then he's all like, find the girl, find the girl. He goes, find the girl. You're like, wow, are you already looking for the girl? I don't know, some people are looking for the girl, other people are just starting to look for the girl. Yeah, it's a bunch of girl looking. Uh, we meet the girl. She's, of course, look, taking torn up pieces of paper and putting them back together.
Speaker 2:And because she's looking, for someone, but she doesn't know who she's looking for and then she's this the librarian walks in and you're like wait, the library's giving you torn up pieces of paper to put together shredded paper? I don't know there's always weird bags hanging everywhere. You're like that's kind of weird.
Speaker 1:I don't know what that means I mean it's super weird also what's?
Speaker 2:it's weird that she doesn't know who she's looking for she just knows in her computer brain, because she has a computer brain is so let's great.
Speaker 1:You know what? Let's take a time out from talking the movie and tell me about these mutants, because that's what they are right. They're yes, they're evolved humans, or something he put like bonus he dn.
Speaker 2:He bonus their dna. So they're smarter. Jurassic park them. They're smart.
Speaker 1:No, that's not what Jurassic Park is just because they know dial DNA to make it work better yeah, no, they got old they had old DNA.
Speaker 2:Then they had to sort of glue it to like reptile DNA to make it work still great.
Speaker 1:So they did and this movie is different because he's just making up DNA. He's made better DNA, so I don't understand how that works if it's not like gene splicing or whatever, where he's like putting in other dna into our genome. He can't, you can't just make dna, can you?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, you kind of you can sequence dna yeah, you can.
Speaker 1:So what is DNA? Okay, we're going to. Maybe this is not the time for this conversation, because I'm not. I don't understand what's DNA then? Exactly Because how do you just create that out of nothing?
Speaker 2:Okay, so think of it like this Do you know how atoms work.
Speaker 1:I know that we've split the atom, okay, so like an atom.
Speaker 2:Like salt, is N-A-C-L right, right, yeah, so what that means is there's what? A sodium and a chlorine atom, and they have a little bond between them. So those two guys live together.
Speaker 1:right, it's probably a covalent bond Could be.
Speaker 2:I don't know I don't remember the bonds. Then if we do something to it, we go heck and we split them apart then you're gonna have a little bit of sodium and you're gonna have a little bit of chlorine, right, so you have some salt. Then you cut them in half and then you have two different things laying there, right. Great, okay, what dna is? It's this thing like that, but it's all these little ones connected together, so it's like 64 or something, the ones.
Speaker 1:This is what I don't understand. What is what is connected together? Because it's not elements, because what you know, atoms are elements. Right, like I understand? I can understand that because someone's told me that that's what it is. I think they're little proteins.
Speaker 2:Okay, so it's a bunch of little proteins and I think there's like maybe four or five different ones, and then, depending on you know a plus a, there's an a and b, then there's a, b and c, then there's c and l, and you know so, and so all those things add up to a unique structure, right? And that structure, when, when you, when you put it into the primordial, like the living, thing.
Speaker 1:It starts saying that's stop, that's where I get confused.
Speaker 1:It's a blueprint, but okay, exactly, yes, it's a blueprint. I could do it on a on a computer, right, so I could come up with the sequence. It'll give me that weird spiral thing that they always talk about. How do I put this into a living creature? Oh, how do you? How do you get that cooking? That's what I don't understand. Where are these proteins coming from, then? If that's what they are like, I don't understand. Science is above me. Here's what I don't think. This is possible, dan.
Speaker 2:That's all I'm going to say well, the idea is is you, if you take a uh, an unfertilized human egg right? And then, and then like what the sperm does is it's like okay, here's some dna and that goes into the egg sure it gets on the egg has a little pile of dna and then the dna's go. We love each other and they. They have a, they get together.
Speaker 1:So just to be clear, you're saying that the the way that an egg gets fertilized is that the sperm falls in love with the egg well, yeah it goes in there and it's like here I am.
Speaker 2:And then the egg's like I've been waiting for you.
Speaker 1:And then they you need to write a children's book about how sex happens because the kids are going to learn so much from you, dan, come into my egg.
Speaker 2:Come into my egg Welcome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's how it works, great, great welcome. Um, yeah, I think that's how it works, great, great. So what you could do is, if you're a scientist outside here, you could take the sperm and then hit it with a little hammer and and like take out. You know, you're like oh, I don't want all these c's and b's in here, let's put some more a's in there, and so you can. If you look at a sperm, you you can go like well, this one's going to have a chance of making you tend towards having some sort of genetic issue, and so we're going to be like we're going to take out that little sequence of these things and then, when it goes in there, no longer have that specific genetic issue.
Speaker 1:Now, all of that somehow makes a at least a little bit of sense to me. What doesn't make sense is how do I make that superhuman? Because he's not just fixing our dna, he's got to be adding things that don't exist yeah, no, he's adding like he can tell the future, basically that's not possible.
Speaker 2:I mean ostensibly what you're gonna what with genetic stuff in the future. What you'll do is you'll make sure there are genetic problems you'll make sure that's.
Speaker 1:That's a great place to go to for humanity good for us.
Speaker 2:You also say, okay, this child is not going to have any mid digit hair oh boy, I wish I would have gotten, that.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you that right now you're loaded up with mid-digit. I got so much mid-digit. I mean I got hair everywhere but my head. This is the least amount of hair on my whole body.
Speaker 2:I'll tell you that so they, they, the new genetics. They wouldn't be making you maybe, maybe taking like I would not exist. I'm going to be deleted from humanity very quickly Taking the brain of Dan Goodsell. Oh sure, the sexy voice of a Scarlett Johansson.
Speaker 1:I've got a sexy voice, dan. You could use my voice, that's true.
Speaker 2:Hello.
Speaker 1:I'm Dan Goodsell.
Speaker 2:That might be the one thing, they'd say my voice probably not getting in there you go, there you go, you know.
Speaker 1:But if everybody's perfect, then everyone's boring, you know. So you know what I. I'm gonna do the world a favor. I'm gonna reproduce.
Speaker 2:There it is um, yeah, so, yeah, so. So she has like computer brain, she's also fast in this, and then she also has like the most absurd precognition that exists in the world.
Speaker 1:She sure does.
Speaker 2:It's like you know what's going to happen in a couple of days.
Speaker 1:Somebody I know is going to walk right by there and she tries to explain it as if, like, she's using context clues to figure this stuff out better than everybody else. That doesn't make sense it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:Sherlock Holmes works right. Sure, you do Sherlock Holmes right and you're like, oh shit, because there's a couple things she does in this that you're like, oh okay, that's why she did something with a gun. Sure. You're like okay, that makes sense, they set up a thing and then later on they do a second thing that you're like oh, they set that up, Okay, but you know that she can like know when the police are going to come, just based on nothing Based on that, based on laying in bed and she's just sitting there and like thinking and also she's like oh, I know everything.
Speaker 2:People are about to bust in the door.
Speaker 1:People, yeah, people are coming through our door right now?
Speaker 2:no, you know if she, like you know, like faintly registered the, the, you know the rattle of bullets and the the ding of the elevator she could like. Here's the thing she's all like.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's not how this works.
Speaker 2:Give her some Wolverine senses. This is full spider sense. Someone's about to shoot you in the head and you know you're about to get shot in the head from a mile away. You're like oh duck, spider-man can do that.
Speaker 1:Spider-Man is also a superhuman. Of course he can do it. Spider-man is also a superhuman, so of course he can do it, and so can spiders.
Speaker 2:Maybe there's a little spider DNA in her.
Speaker 1:Wait, can spiders really do that? Yeah, is that why they're so quick when I try to kill them and they run away from me and I'm like, ah, how did you know? They know you're coming, don't they? Those bastards, I hate spiders. Man Sp Bastards, I hate spiders, man Spiders have precognition.
Speaker 2:So the librarian's like what are you doing here? And she's like I'm trying to find somebody. She's like, oh, why don't you try the police? And she's all like I'm a math whiz. And then she's like I don't even know who I'm searching for. And the librarian's like, okay, let me back away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's basically like what are you talking about? That's not how things work, lady.
Speaker 2:She's on the bus, she's having trouble being on the bus. I have problems. I'm so beautiful, it's problematic. And then Zachary Kinto is there and you're like, oh, I guess he's the bad guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, Because I mean he is.
Speaker 2:She goes to buy a new fake passport. The guy tries to scam her. She's able to tell a magnetic strip doesn't work.
Speaker 1:Well, probably because she saw in the future her getting arrested In six months' time. She's like I'm going to get arrested, I wonder why. And then reverse engineer it because it's the bad passport. Now, this is one of my favorite parts of the movie. Dan, this is one of your favorite parts of the movie.
Speaker 2:This is just great writing, okay.
Speaker 1:The movie this is. This is this is just great writing, okay. So she realizes the passport doesn't work. Yeah. She's like hey, I need a new passport. This one doesn't work. And he's like if you want a better one, you need to pay more. Then he starts walking away and she goes. Or I can tell everyone that you sell bad papers. What else would he think would happen? That's the only thing that would happen in that situation. How does that change his mind? All of a sudden he's like oh, I never thought about you telling everybody that my product was bad after you got arrested from buying it. Of course, that's what's going to happen. That's your only. You're living off your reputation.
Speaker 1:That's a stupid line and it should not have changed his mind. He should know exactly what's going to happen.
Speaker 2:That is bizarre. No, it's, it's. It's stupid, because the whole premise is she knows about the magnetic, she should look at it for some different reason and be like I, I, I, you know, she should try and do like some different switch up. That isn't against him, because if he's just bad, he it's just saying I'm bad at my job, I'm right, and that's so it's just saying I'm bad at my job, I sell fake shit?
Speaker 1:He's not.
Speaker 2:You can't be bad at your job because you're not going to be in business.
Speaker 1:Exactly Because his business is literally word of mouth. He doesn't have things on the subway where it's like hey, get your fake passport at John's Passports. He has to work off word of mouth.
Speaker 2:So if he's giving bad products, it's going to come back to him? It's very weird. Actually, you never do that with this character, because he's not the guy with the gun. The person standing outside is the guy with the gun 100%. Yeah, and that's what they're going to do. They're going to come back with the gun and fucking kill him.
Speaker 1:Murder you, yeah, because you just got them in trouble. You couldn't do your one job, dude trouble.
Speaker 2:You couldn't do your one job. Dude um, she super senses a domestic assault and then pulls an alarm and then the police stop the domestic assault or no lady is yeah, she's walking away and she smiles at her as if now they're best friends, because that lady has no idea what she did the hitman now like, goes like this, and thenop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, and then sees her picture somewhere and then he sits down with his guns and he's all like I'm going to wait until I gun you Okay.
Speaker 1:He's got a weird thing with those guns. I don't know what's going on. Sexy guns.
Speaker 2:She goes to her shitty hotel. There's a wall, the classic wall of clues, and then she has memories and then she takes pills to tamp down the memories. I can't deal with these memories.
Speaker 1:What kind of pills do you think those are Some sort of psychotropes? No, they're probably depressants?
Speaker 2:Oh alright, Wouldn't you take depressants if you had a lot of things I don't know?
Speaker 1:I wouldn't take anything if I could see the fucking future, dan I would just do it.
Speaker 2:I would make so much money so the hitman's onto the girl, he figures out she's in berlin and he figures out where she is. And then we have his hitman's handlers, like uh, you've got 48 hours to kill them both. And I'm like, oh, the time limit you love clocks.
Speaker 1:Did it ever come into play. Tony, no, I don't even know how long it was, because it feels like multiple days. So 48 hours felt too slim of time for me. But you know what do I know?
Speaker 2:Katja bails, he follows her down to the subway, then Katja runs into John Smith, zachary Quinto, and then we're like, oh, he's the bad guy, but he's going to convince her that he's the good guy to, like you know, stop being an unmoving automaton and make you know, and and and learn to love or cry or feel yeah, but not really.
Speaker 1:No, that's not what's gonna happen. That's too much.
Speaker 2:That's too much for this movie so zaparicrinto's like there's people fall down and they roll and they fire, then they go on the railway and then they fist, and then there's a train and then he has a car waiting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and Agent 47 lays down under a train. Did you say that?
Speaker 2:That part's fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he laid under a train, just lays right down. Here's the thing. Movies are teaching me that we could do that, because this is not the first movie that's done that. I have a very strong suspicion that if I lay down under a train, my tummy would get torn off. I don't think there's as much room as they keep telling everybody. There's quite a bit of room under there. How much Is there enough room for this thing? I don't think so. I think I'm Okay, I'll try it, but if I die, I'm going to come back and I'm going to haunt you, yeah.
Speaker 2:Boom, boom, boom. Who gets interrogated? Someone gets interrogated. What so they're escaping?
Speaker 1:And I think this might be where he shoots her. Well, yeah, he shoots her in the arm when he's escaping in the car.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they took it from a long, long ways. He's like boom, I shoot you, but he doesn't kill her. So they interrogate her and Zach.
Speaker 1:No, no, no they have him. Well, her and Zach go to some sort of army base and fire a gun Right, yes, yeah, and they get captured.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Okay, hold on. So they go to the US Embassy. He shoots a gun they take him inside. Then they start getting interrogated and they're like someone's trying to kill me. And then she goes boop boop, boop boop, but he's coming.
Speaker 1:And then he gets to the metal detector and he has all the guns and so they're like oh, stop, and this is a. This is actually a nice little scene, him coming through the metal detector. Yeah, first he sends a case through and the guy who's looking at the x-ray machine sees a giant sniper rifle and his eyes just like get huge, wonderful, subtle acting. That guy deserved a bigger role in this movie. He was some of the best acting in the entire thing Great moment. And then he pulls, he opens, he sets off the buzzer, so then he opens his jacket and it's just like four guns, knives everywhere, and then he just gives a little shrug Also one of his best moments. It's a really nice little scene, great job. That is the only compliment I'm going to give this entire movie, I think.
Speaker 2:So great work so they take him into a thing, they put the big gun on there, they put one bullet in there and they're all the guys.
Speaker 1:This is not legal. You can't do that. You can't load a gun that's pointed at your suspect. You can't do it and then suspect you can't do it.
Speaker 2:And then they're like and here's all your other guns, I'm gonna hang them on a hook like one foot away from you, so I'm gonna show you your guns.
Speaker 1:I what is happening I don't understand.
Speaker 2:We're not gonna lock them down because we gotta show you know, look at your guns and the bullets.
Speaker 1:I need you to see what you've done. Shame on you, sir, definitely some video game logic.
Speaker 2:And then, of course, at a certain point, the, the interrogator dude, puts the bullet in there and the guns pointed him. He's like your brother, tell me things. And then of course, he's all like he steals the, uh, steals the line from uh yeah, from watchman I was.
Speaker 1:Oh man, I was, I was mad I still remember there's.
Speaker 2:there's a couple things I remember from my childhood. Okay, the issue of X-Men, where it's Wolverine alone in the Hellfire Club.
Speaker 1:One of the best issues of all time.
Speaker 2:And I remember in the Watchmen when fucking Rorschach is locked in prison and Rorschach just looks at him just like. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in prison and Rorschach just looks at him, just like I'm not locked in here with you.
Speaker 1:You're locked in here with me, everyone's fucked. Rorschach is going to destroy everyone and it's so great because he's in with like 40 dudes, right, and you're like, oh, they're all dead, they are all dead.
Speaker 2:You know, we knew Rorschach was a psychopath. We knew that we didn't go as our children and be like I want to be like Rorschach. There's something wrong with this guy, but it's cool, and you didn't want to be Wolverine either. Wolverine had all sorts of problems.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, so here's the one problem I have is, I did want to be Wolverine and actually Naomi makes fun of me every week when we watch x-men the animated series, because she's like this is your role model.
Speaker 2:He's a terrible person let me read normal people norm okay yeah, you normies over there people like don't even wanted to be wolverine, because they want to kill everyone yeah, well, sure, but I also wanted to regenerate.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:sure, that's the main draw to wolverine so they steal that line and you're just like you can't steal that line, especially if you're going to deliver it.
Speaker 1:So blah, so blah.
Speaker 2:So he kicks the table, the gun goes off, it shoots through his chain. He pulls out the chain and gets his guns and then they start killing everyone. Kill, kill, kill, kill kill, kill, kill, kill and then also zachary kito gets free and she gets free, so he just runs and he jumps through the.
Speaker 1:The ones one way mirror you think that breaks that easily? Not a chance. I'm like if that broke that easily, wouldn't people try to escape all the time?
Speaker 2:it seemed a little weird. Oh so this is when they get away, and then this is when he shoots her from far away. So she's yeah, yes, yep, you're absolutely right yeah uh, they go to a hotel, she takes a shower. Maybe she took pills. It's like sexy time. Uh, tell me what you know. And then we, then we, we do the whole thing that we did at the beginning, where we're saying your dad did all this stuff now there's a couple things we have to point out in this conversation.
Speaker 1:Okay, number one she goes what's your real name? He says my name's brian, and then in the very next line, she calls him john. Again, why did she ask him what his real name was if she's never going to use it in the whole movie? What was the point of that from the movie?
Speaker 2:There's zero point.
Speaker 1:My name's Brian. Well, john, tell me, what are you doing? What's going on here? So that was upsetting.
Speaker 2:Number two A little tear should have gone in my name's Brian.
Speaker 1:I just told you John.
Speaker 2:Should have gone to the bathroom and been like I can't, for once.
Speaker 1:I mean Brian, and you know what Quinto could do it. He's got some range, he could pull up a tear.
Speaker 2:He's an actor.
Speaker 1:I like him he could pull up a tier. Oh, he's a good actor, I like it, yeah. Yeah, he's great in star trek. Oh man, nothing to do in this movie. Very sexy spot, well, sure, yeah, nothing to do with this. Well, but who does you know? I know, um. And then the other thing that's more character specific is she. He tells her that her father has bioengineered her to be superior, whatever the words he used, and she was like what, what are you talking about? She doesn't know. She's different. She can see the future. She thinks that's normal. She thinks everybody's walking around seeing future memories it's just ridiculous.
Speaker 1:just make her just be like oh, my father, my father did this. That would make sense. If what she's confused about or surprised about is that her father did this to her, I'll accept it. Her being like what do you mean, I'm different? Nope, not acceptable.
Speaker 2:She should say like oh, I've always felt like I was different.
Speaker 1:Sure, like when I tell the future, everyone else doesn't know what's going to happen next. It's so weird.
Speaker 2:Um, let's see, In front of her skills I was afraid she pulls out her map. I love this. She has this thing. I'm like, oh, okay, and it goes.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It's a giant map.
Speaker 1:But, dan, what precedes that? Do you remember what happens right before it? A lot of kissing, she so much smooching. It's unbelievable. No, he, he's explaining to her why they're chasing her and she goes. They think I can find my father. That's absurd. And then the next thing she does is pulls out a giant map of his entire life from her back. Why is?
Speaker 1:the line in there where she's surprised that they think she can find her dad. This whole conversation is weird. She's surprised by everything that is just blatantly in front of her. It's so weird.
Speaker 2:But yes, the map itself was cool you know, that's the thing they never want to let characters like be like. Like a character like her. They want her to be completely indecisive about everything, sort of like what, how could this be? I do, I've never heard of such a thing. Yeah, you know you're looking for this guy.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're right. You've been searching for him for years. You have a giant map in your bag. Of course they think you can find him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she should say something like you know, I might have the way to find him.
Speaker 1:She unfolds this gigantic map.
Speaker 2:There you go.
Speaker 1:And then she does her science, because then she finds him in like 30 seconds. Yes, she's shocked that they think that she can find him. She pulls out a giant map of his life, looks at it and is like, wow, he's right here. I know exactly where he is within a block radius. This actually is one of the better parts of the movie because this part actually makes sense, because she asks him about the father. Yes, she gets some information Like what languages does he speak? What are his hobbies? This one and this one.
Speaker 2:What's his favorite restaurant? You know and you're like, oh, his favorite. He probably lives near his favorite restaurant she goes.
Speaker 1:what did he like to do? What did he enjoy? And his answer was orchids.
Speaker 2:Orchids, you know what that is. Crossbreeding is a big genetic science.
Speaker 1:Well, of course I know that Because I play Animal Crossing Dan. You gotta crossbreed flowers To get some really fun, like pinks and purples. It's beautiful Black. Oh yeah, it's good.
Speaker 2:And then Agent attacks, right yeah, agent attacks right, yeah, agent attacks and kills John and takes the girl.
Speaker 1:Now let me ask you a question, dan.
Speaker 2:Do you remember Blood Splatter?
Speaker 1:when he gets shot.
Speaker 2:This is your last. I don't know.
Speaker 1:This is my last question. This is your last question. I've written down so many more. Oh, I'm going to have to figure out how to phrase it as a statement that you are forced to answer. Still, uh, I remember blood like a squib of some sort when he gets shot. But then later, when he's getting shot, he doesn't splurt. So I was a little confused I thought this was too misleading.
Speaker 2:Oh, maybe he wears like a special shirt that has fake blood.
Speaker 1:It's blood in the lining so you think he's dead. That's brilliant. I mean honestly, that's smart.
Speaker 2:And like this time when he gets shot he gets put out and like out till they escape. Every time else he gets shot, it's like he goes like this I'm not even sure he does that much.
Speaker 1:I don't think he moves at all he's fine, he's pretty which is sure, but at least wolverine takes the. You know what, like he's, he still hit. Takes the impact of the bullet. The your shiny metal skin doesn't stop the impact of the bullet right well, if you have enough metal in you, you, you're so solid. You're so heavy. Is that what you're saying? You're stuck to the ground.
Speaker 2:You shoot like a concrete wall and the concrete wall's like yeah, no.
Speaker 1:I mean that's true. The concrete wall which is stationary on four sides doesn't move much.
Speaker 2:So boom, he's got you tied up and he's all like I'm gonna interrogate you. Then they mind-meld. That was different.
Speaker 1:And he knew that she could do that. I don't know, Because he's like, take my hand and we'll know each other's memories.
Speaker 2:He knows that because spoilers they're brother and sister.
Speaker 1:Right, so they're brother and sister. I was like that's kind of interesting. Um, so does, is he? I will ask that later oh, are you?
Speaker 2:you asking because we find out agent 48 is the same exact as him, right?
Speaker 1:so is he? Are they just clones? I don't know. I don't know either, because what they were saying maybe he was like they engineered better humans. I assumed they took like I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:And so in this movie we're going to, you know. So now's the time where the two of them are starting to work together, so it was a very short amount of time that she believes that Akikinto was on her side.
Speaker 1:A hot item.
Speaker 2:Kinto was on her side and you're like there has to be a point at which she does something thinking that he's on her side, and then he does something to betray that. But they didn't do that. You're like, oh, that's too bad, we want that, we, we, we, just we want that in our bones. We want betrayal.
Speaker 1:We want betrayal so bad. It helps us understand.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so bad. It helps us understand, yeah, and then hitman guy.
Speaker 1:We're like, we're supposed to think he's the terminator right, and then I mean they're really leading into that hard in the beginning they lead into the terminator stuff.
Speaker 2:And then we're like he has to act dispassionately a few times, but instead he instantly becomes her mentor and his sort of jovial best friend, we're getting along. He doesn't treat her like shit. He's like you move too slow, but you're going to get it next time.
Speaker 1:But it's adorable.
Speaker 2:You're trying, you know he should like smack her in the face or do something Too slow. This is what pain feels like Pain. You know, you have to make her hate him until she realizes that. What?
Speaker 1:he's he's doing it for her own good.
Speaker 2:He's doing it for, but instead he's just like well, I hope you're better next time, because you're gonna die if you're not better next time, Because if not, this is all for nothing.
Speaker 1:Oh well.
Speaker 2:That part of it was very confusing to me. So they have memories and then he's all. She's all like untie me because we're working together now, and he's like untie yourself. And then he turns on the jet engine.
Speaker 1:A jet engine, it really went from zero to a million. Untie yourself, I'm fine, that's great. That's a great little line like oh, she has to learn to untie herself. But you just step up the game so fast, you're just like oh, and also here's 1,000 pounds of wind that's going to suck you into a turbine and tear you to shreds.
Speaker 2:It's unnecessary. She sort of gets untied and then she does like a handstand and you're like I'm not convinced she's not made out of metal, Nope she would just her feet would get right too close, and then she's a mist.
Speaker 1:She's a red mist, that's all she is for the rest of the movie. But no, she's fine. She stood in a headstand for like 15, 20 seconds, no problem.
Speaker 2:And then she flips around and gets the chair loose and then she throws the chair into the turbine. That's, I mean, I liked it, but that seems very unsafe. Shrapnel. Yeah, okay, warehouse, all the bad guys. Okay, bad guys, come to the warehouse. John at 47 fights more. Try to stab him, he's unaffected. Then eventually they turn on the engine in the other room and then she, like shoots and hits the glass and he's all like you missed me. And then she's like no, we didn't miss you. And then the window explodes and everybody gets sucked into the engine except for him, that's because they weren't doing handstands.
Speaker 1:You know, that's the trick is, if you're on your hands, you're much more solid to the ground.
Speaker 2:Boom, boom boom.
Speaker 1:Hitman's like where is?
Speaker 2:he Where's dad? He's in Singapore hiding in plain sight, cause that's where the headquarters of a bunch of a college syndicate. Yeah, so headquarters of whatchamacallit Syndicate. Yeah, so Zachary goes to her apartment and figures out he's in Singapore because she left all the clues there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she just left a map and what looked like maybe a note that says dad is here. I'm not sure it's something like that.
Speaker 2:They get to the airport in Singapore and he's all like you're gonna have to avoid the cameras, and then he disappears, and then she like has to moonwalk and do all these just puts on a hat.
Speaker 1:That's all we see him do. He puts on a ball cap and then he just walks out of the airport, as far as I can tell, but she doesn't. She's like I can't mess up my hair, I don't want to put on a hat, so she has to do these five minutes of slinking around and missing cameras. This is a weird scene.
Speaker 2:I don't I liked it. It could have been a little more fun, but when she's like on the, on the moving walkway, like walking backwards or walking in place or whatever she's doing to have these other people shield her. Yeah, view of the camera. And of course, then she gets outside and walks right in front of the camera just directly in front of one and he's straight on facial yeah and he's in the car, so they doesn't say anything, he doesn't notice it.
Speaker 1:No one notices it, it's oh, it's ridiculous. The matter is he probably set her up that way because he wanted her to get seen maybe maybe it would have been great if he would have said that at some point but he doesn't say anything.
Speaker 2:A lot of emotions going on with this boy. Um, so they're getting on to him. Because of that. They go to the hotel. He doesn't like moss because they eat his suits. Um, they talk about his barcode, because he has a barcode on the back. They talk about her dad. She's all like he's going to be there at 9 am tomorrow with his lung cancer Lung cancer.
Speaker 1:Tough stuff, that's not good.
Speaker 2:Then he's all like. She's like can you feel love? He's like sometimes it's better not to feel. But he doesn't say it like that, he's just like sometimes it's better not to feel.
Speaker 1:But he doesn't say it like that, he's just like, yeah, sometimes it's better not to feel, yep, because he doesn't have like a cool voice, which is, uh, it's unfortunate he doesn't have a cool voice yeah and then she doesn't buy it.
Speaker 2:And then she he's all like are you asking me? You're acting yourself. And then she said people can change. And then he's like don't put your faith in me. And then he's like I need to sleep. And then she goes and does sexy swimming.
Speaker 1:Yeah, why what's going on? There's just some weird choices.
Speaker 2:There's a couple times where you're like, ah, somebody's going to get it on and they don't. Nobody gets it on.
Speaker 1:Just let me If you're looking for that in this movie. It does not exist. It would have been weird if you got it on with Hitman Well it would have been a real Luke and Leia situation at the end.
Speaker 2:He's like asleep with his guns, but she takes his guns and takes his guns apart.
Speaker 1:He sleeps sitting up, by the way Super creepy, I didn't like it at all. He sleeps like this on the couch. People that sleep sitting up, they scare me.
Speaker 2:You think of the Professional that movie? Yeah, yeah, and you're like this poor movie.
Speaker 1:You like feel sad for it you're not wrong, but that's like a. That's like a real movie. You know, it's a video game movie.
Speaker 2:That's an unfair comparison bad guys come in the door. She's got the guns. He has to kill them with his hands.
Speaker 1:Okay, he didn't seem to have any real problem.
Speaker 2:He should have gotten injured, right something should have happened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we should have some repercussions for her stealing his guns and taking them apart for no reason cut off his hand, lose a finger or two, lose his eye. I mean those were. Those are all so different. Jeez louise, maybe just like a black eye guy. Sheesh Louise, he's got to finish the movie. Can't lose a whole arm or hand.
Speaker 2:She says when I'm anxious, I take stuff apart.
Speaker 1:I'm like what could have shown us that earlier? Do you? Because I've never seen that before?
Speaker 2:But more importantly, she just leaves it apart and also she didn't seem anxious.
Speaker 1:She went swimming, she seemed very relaxed, and then she was like I'm gonna take apart some guns if she should have been like prowling and been like pulled all the leaves, I better take it apart give me those guns give me those guns man we could have seen her like just take the gun silently.
Speaker 2:He keeps sleeping and she's all like she's almost gonna flick him in the nose draw a dick on his face see, we should write these movies people would not like that uh, they're leaving. He steals a kid's inhaler in the elevator and gives the kid a knife and the kids all like now I got a knife the kid's smile makes me think that as soon as those elevator doors close, he's murdering his parents they're so dead. He's taking that money and spending it all on, you know, in the video arcade or something right?
Speaker 1:dude. Hey, worth it. I I love a good arcade. We just found a new arcade in Glendale, by the way. No, burbank, at the Burbank, underneath two floors below the Dairy Queen, there's this giant arcade which we did not know existed and we're going to go back because it looks fun. Why did you play? I didn't have any money at the time because we went for some mall walking.
Speaker 2:You don't bring your wallet when you go mall walking.
Speaker 1:No, I just bring my ID, just in case I get killed.
Speaker 2:But what if I get mugged? You'll have money for them, so they don't kill you.
Speaker 1:Is that how that works? Yeah, because I've been living my life the other way, where it's like if I don't have any money, then they won't kill me, they'll just be like ah, you're not worth it.
Speaker 2:Is that not right?
Speaker 1:you don't got any money in your wallet, you die shit. Okay, you think, is that I don't know what to believe now oh, you should always so I should have a little bit of money on hand to, to, to appease them. Is that what you're saying? Two or three hundred? Okay, I don't have that kind of money. Damn okay, I don't even own that much. No comment, I'm going to have to give him my 401k.
Speaker 2:They go to the Arboretum Very beautiful.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Makes you want to go there. Find his dad Dad's played by Sierran Hines. Once again, very little for him to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then basically he got her out of the program so that she could live. She's kind of resentful, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, she's just kind of like a general sort of upset.
Speaker 2:He's like kill me now and then. Then the killing starts. A bunch of killing happens.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the guys show up and they start shooting at stuff and everybody killing happens. Yeah, the guys show up and they start shooting at stuff and everybody what?
Speaker 2:happens. I don't even remember what happens.
Speaker 1:I think they just kind of run away, don't they?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they run away. They get in a red car like this magic red car is waiting for them that's bulletproof and magic, you're like. Who supplies him with all this magic helicopters and bulletproof cars?
Speaker 1:Donna.
Speaker 2:There it is, Donna.
Speaker 1:Is that her name, did you?
Speaker 2:write it down. I didn't write down her name. She was only in like three scenes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no.
Speaker 2:I think she only acted in two and maybe called on the phone in one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just don't think I wrote it down, but Donna is what's sticking in my head, so that's what I'm going to say.
Speaker 2:Two motorcycles versus a bulletproof car. A bulletproof car wins um shocking yeah. Uh. Then they're all like they get to the final thing and they're, you know, he's all like tell me what to do. And she's all like he's like left or right and she's like straight ahead. So then he goes straight ahead and then turns right yep, which which is hilarious right.
Speaker 2:Wait a second. I don't understand. How do you make a movie where you say to the clairvoyant person, the person that can see the future left to right, and she says, go straight. And then you go straight, and then you just randomly turn right somewhere?
Speaker 1:And nobody mentions it. It's as if that's what she meant by go straight. It doesn't make any sense, Dan.
Speaker 2:That was the weirdest part of the whole movie. Everything else in the movie I'm like okay, whatever, but that one just doesn't make any true sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because they hammer it home too. She goes, go straight. He gives her a look and she goes trust me. And then he goes straight, turns right immediately I don't know. And then he turns. He goes straight, turns right immediately, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Who knows, man Like how do you make your movie? I mean, isn't there one person at some test audience that goes like wait a second, how is that going straight?
Speaker 1:I didn't like when she said go straight and he went right and it was fine. Okay, that's a good note. Thanks, pal. Okay, did I ever tell you that we did? We did the test, one of the test screenings for justice league, back in the day.
Speaker 2:No, oh, you mean you as you as a viewer, yeah, as a viewer.
Speaker 1:I tore that thing apart. I was writing. I wrote like my notes were covering both sides of the page. The guy was like okay, we're done, we're all out. Everyone was out of the theater. I'm still writing shit down. They didn't take any of my notes. Ridiculous.
Speaker 2:See, and that's why Hollywood is struggling today.
Speaker 1:That's right, Because they invite audiences in and they really just want you to be like that was amazing. They don't really want to hear your thoughts. No because they don't listen to you.
Speaker 2:Well, nobody should listen to me. So they're like going, and then the things are coming up out of the ground. It's like we're not going to make it, and he's like we're going to make it, and then they just, of course, make it. He doesn't do anything to make it.
Speaker 1:You're like, okay, yeah he was just driving and you think that the person that could see the future would be like we're fine, just keep going. And she was the one that's like we're not going to make it.
Speaker 2:That doesn't make sense, Dan. It doesn't make sense. It's Zachary Quinto's car hits, the thing flips over.
Speaker 1:That was good, I like that. And then just lands which?
Speaker 2:is pretty great. It should have kept flying into space. I don't know?
Speaker 1:Well, I was trying to yeah, it detaches from gravity, because that's what that post does. And then he just floats away, no I was curious, because it hits and flips but then it sticks the landing. Wouldn't it continue to roll? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I wonder if cars, because you know when you roll, typically you roll on your side right, that's true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you wouldn't roll forward, I guess, yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't think you're going to make a. I don't think you're going to go. I think you've got maybe one.
Speaker 1:Maybe one half rotation, and that's about all you get Okay dad is, then the chase continues in the city.
Speaker 2:Then they get caught by wires. Then he kills a bunch of the wire men and that dad gets shot and he can't get away. Then we do the inhaler switch. So now he's got the fake inhaler and then dad gets caught and then the two of them just like, oh, we just escaped.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, here's the thing he got shot in the leg. Yeah, they don't. I mean I understand that the bad guys probably stopped chasing them more or less when they get the doctor. Oh, because they don't know the girl's important, yeah, but like you could carry him Right.
Speaker 2:He's age 47. He's a superhuman. You him right, he's Agent 47. He's a superhuman. You couldn't carry him.
Speaker 1:He's superhuman, dan they tell me that he's stronger, faster, smarter, but carrying a big, you know 250-pound guy.
Speaker 2:No, Nobody carries me.
Speaker 1:I don't understand.
Speaker 2:Exactly Dad's in the torture chair and they're like go off the formula. Tony, that's really good Come on. What is he going to be? He's going to be like seven, five, eight, six, three, nine.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know, because I don't understand how it works either, dan so. I don't know what he has to say. He's going to have to be like well there's a, there's a twist. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, like he's gonna be able to, in like two easy sentences, explain his entire lifetime research that's how science works.
Speaker 2:I believe e equals mc squared. Yeah, we got it all.
Speaker 1:Right, we got the formula, type it in not how genetic science works at all.
Speaker 2:I'm usually not that much of a stickler on this kind of thing, but just the idea of we need to get him back here. And it's not to get a formula, it's to continue the research.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, we put you to work so you can implement it here. That's how that works.
Speaker 2:Back in the old Flash Gordon is. Have you ever heard of Flash Gordon? Of course, back in the old Flash Gordon is. Have you ever heard of Flash Gordon? Of course, yeah, back in the old Flash Gordon serials. They go to the planet and there's Ming the Merciless and there's Professor Zarkov. And what does he do with Zarkov? He puts him in the lab and puts him to work, or terrible things will happen to him.
Speaker 2:There you go, and that's what you do, you put him in the lab, you don't put him in a chair and try to torture him saying Zarkov, tell me some random number. Yeah, really dumb. Well, it didn't work anyhow, so maybe they've learned their lesson. Okay, so the idea is the big chairman of the syndicate's the real bad guy, and if we kill him, the syndicate's going away. Tony, has that ever been true in any situation?
Speaker 1:Not only is that not true, it's not a you know, chop off the head of the snake and the body dies or whatever but also this guy barely does anything and he seems really nice Like. He seems like a really nice, calm guy. He's very calm. He comes in and he's just like hey, will you please tell me I'm just trying to work here, bud Please tell me he didn't shoot one of his subordinates. No, so he's not evil. We know that. That's exactly how you show in a movie that he's evil. He has to pull the gun on his own people shoot him in the head and be like look how bad I am. You got to do that.
Speaker 2:This guy's basically a good guy so he's down there chatting him up like you're gonna give us the info, right, bro? Come on, bro, come on, bro. Agent 47 calls in and has completely hacked everything that they ever did, even though they could have never done that before, and I was like, yeah, that's what the inhaler is about. The inhaler he snuck the inhaler in and the inhaler did all this.
Speaker 1:Oh, it had like a microchip that allowed him on the inside.
Speaker 2:Yes, I see that would have been smart, that would have been nice. I'd have been like that makes sense. But now it doesn't make sense because that's not what the inhaler's for.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe it's two things, Maybe it's a bomb and a microchip.
Speaker 2:Could be. And then he puts her in a helicopter and then remote control flies the helicopter up right and she's tied knocked out.
Speaker 1:Because she like kind of does like a weird wake-up thing, he did knock her out.
Speaker 2:He he poked a pin, he drugged her.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he acupunctured her, yeah but somehow she wakes up in the helicopter right at the right moment and they're all like I've got the girl in here and she's the DNA that you need, which actually that makes some sense, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because then I just take it out and then put it in me and then I'm fine right.
Speaker 2:That's how blood works.
Speaker 1:That's exactly how it would work.
Speaker 2:Ooh Science Instead what they do and then put it in me and then I'm fine, right, that's how blood works. That's exactly how it would work Science. Instead, what they do is does she crash the helicopter into the building or does?
Speaker 1:he do it. Yeah, she gets mad and she grabs the stick and then, you know, drives forward Just like Die Hard 5. Remember, she runs out of bullets so she crashes the helicopter into the building, but, you know, unfortunately they jumped out of the building at the same time, so hers was for nothing. But also her helicopter blew up when she did that and this one's fine. This one just loses its propellers, but basically lands. This one just loses the propellers, but basically lands.
Speaker 2:So the agent starts to fight Zack and he's getting beat up and they're beating up the set and the stuff's falling down, and then at a certain point he's all like you made the big mistake, because you did this. And I thought the whole idea was he was sacrificing himself so that something else would happen elsewhere.
Speaker 1:No, but that was not the case. That's not the case at all. Nope, he's just saying hey, you thought you were better than me. Nana, nana, boo boo.
Speaker 2:So instead, when he, like Zach, thinks about something, then he's able to get him and electrocute him with a garrote.
Speaker 1:Somehow tie him to an electrocution portal. I didn't understand it.
Speaker 2:I do not believe in your typical thing that's running a couple of strings of lights. There's enough.
Speaker 1:Not only for it, but don't they cut out? They cut out to the entire building and the building goes black. It sucked up all of the energy and put it into Quinto's brain.
Speaker 2:There's these things, there's a couple of things, there's fuses and there's circuit breakers.
Speaker 1:Circuit breakers.
Speaker 2:Circuit breakers. We live in a building that's a thousand years old and our circuit breakers work fine.
Speaker 1:You know what, dan dan? Can you imagine a movie? Nobody steal this. I'm, I'm putting this okay but you start getting electrocuted and then go pop, it stops and you're like, oh shit, I popped a circuit breaker. He's got to go run and like restart the circuit breaker to electrocute the guy. That would be fun. I'm gonna put it in a script nobody steal that trademark. I think that's gonna work really well. I think it'll be funny. I think it's gonna play really nicely, dan.
Speaker 2:So then the girl shows up and she's all like when this is over, I'm gonna kill you and we're just like what, what, yep like I don't know there's not really been a bad consequence from all the weird shit he's done.
Speaker 1:Right. Not only that, but she's alive, the dad's alive. Right now Everything's going pretty well for her. Yeah, I don't understand why she's so mad.
Speaker 2:Then we say to the composer, write me some Quentin Tarantino music. And we put the Quentin Tarantino music on.
Speaker 1:It's weird. It's like a weird kind of Western espionage type of beat. I don't know, it doesn't fit this movie at all.
Speaker 2:It was not the rest of the movie, but they're like we got to have some Quentin Tarantino in here, baby.
Speaker 1:I don't think anyone ever needs that.
Speaker 2:So they get up to the helipad, they just shoot everyone they do running where they slide.
Speaker 1:Dan, hold on. The helicopter is outside right and there's what seems to be an elevator that just opens to that helipad. You're?
Speaker 2:going to complain about the guards looking towards the.
Speaker 1:They're all facing the helicopter, so their backs are to the elevator yes I'm gonna complain about that they never know.
Speaker 2:Maybe the, maybe the possessor is gonna take over that helicopter got it. You never know when the possessor is to come through and take over an inanimate object, I mean he was loose Ghostbuster.
Speaker 1:He was loose at the end of that movie. At the end of that movie he was free. Yeah, the doors. I mean it has to ding right. It's an elevator, it has to make some sort of noise. It opens the doors and they're still facing the wrong way. Oh boy.
Speaker 2:You know, once again you have like the classic oh God, you think of the professional and he's like they keep on going through the door. The door opens and they go through, and then he's up there and then he reaches down and closes the door and then shoots them all. You're like, oh, ah, yeah, it's a mindfuck. It goes back to the wrath of Khan, right, they're fighting. Okay, they're fighting Khan. Yeah, they're fighting. Okay, they're fighting khan. Yeah, and they're like khan's thinking in two dimensions and kirk is thinking in three dimensions and it's 3d chess, yeah, no, that's whatever.
Speaker 2:Stop, because you know, khan never was a space fighter, he's a terrestrial fighter, you know, fighting down there you're thinking fighting on earth, that you're just, you're here. Yeah, not earth, but ground, sorry and when you have lines like that in movies, you're like those. Those are lines that last forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, just like I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me great line this movie has to steal it sadly.
Speaker 2:No, no other good lines in this movie.
Speaker 1:I don't think right no, not that I can recall, except for, hey, what's your name, brian?
Speaker 2:well, john, that's a great line um, he takes a bullet for her. I actually got emotional when you talk about for her. I was like, oh wow, this is. This is what this movie's supposed to be about sure, it's not really, but that's fine nice moment, that's a nice little moment. So they fly away and they're too far to shoot, which of course you know a hell, something like a helicopter, you can't shoot that I've, I don't know, I've seen it happen okay and then the dad, like, pulls out the inhaler and then he knows it's a bomb.
Speaker 2:How?
Speaker 1:did he know it was a bomb? I don't know how he knew, but he knew immediately that this was going to explode him. Bomb. So he just taped the word bomb on it. That actually would have been smart.
Speaker 2:She pulls a gun on him and she's all like, oh, oh, no, wait, hold on. She blows it up and then he gets the phone call confirm target elimination, leclerc. And then they're like did you kill the second one? And then he's all like, oh, oh, yeah, then she points a gun at him and then he's like you're dead, dead, dive to save his children. And then the elevator opens again and there's another 47. But it's 48. And then they shoot him.
Speaker 1:They're working together. That's it. Fade to black, that's not it. What Wait? That's not it.
Speaker 2:You missed the bonus scene.
Speaker 1:There's a bonus scene. Oh no, tony, I did miss it. Oh man, tell me about it, I blew it. Cut the second kid down on the floor.
Speaker 2:Oh Jesus, his hair is now white because he got electrocuted. His eyes come open, okay.
Speaker 1:So I didn't miss a lot. That was a bit extreme there, dan. That was a bonus scene. You missed it, but great, yeah, I can't wait for the sequel. It's gonna be really good. Actually, you can wait for the sequel. I have to because it's not coming. You will wait, I will. Whether I want to or not, I'm waiting yeah, so I mean I don't know some silly stuff. It's okay, silly stuff. I mean, we've seen worse.
Speaker 2:We've seen so much worse you know you think back to the the auto chase scene at the beginning of die hard and how this die hard setup you're just like.
Speaker 1:This movie at least made an amount of sense and there was a couple of cool deaths which we didn't really about. Like one guy fell down off of like a higher tier onto a railing and, just like, broke the shit out of his neck. That was pretty cool, I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed that.
Speaker 2:He hits one of the motorcycles and it flies against one of the posts.
Speaker 1:It's just like yes, yes, yeah, there's some fun stuff yeah.
Speaker 2:You know the girl was okay, I'm like I'd, watch her in another movie.
Speaker 1:But have you.
Speaker 2:She's like a pop star or something.
Speaker 1:Oh really, okay, I don't know. I didn't know who she was.
Speaker 2:She has some name like Anna Baby or something like one word.
Speaker 1:Anna Baby.
Speaker 2:Something like that.
Speaker 1:That's great. Angela Baby. It's longer than you thought, dan. Sorry, I got it so wrong. You can't give a nickname when it's one word. Alright, that's not how it works. It is one word. Angela Baby, that's one word. It's one word, but you shortened it to Angie Baby.
Speaker 2:Which would be fine if it was Angie.
Speaker 1:Oh, I thought you said Angie, alright, anna Baby word, but you shortened it to angie, baby it's, which would be fine if it was angela. There's an angie, all right, and a baby angie's list, which is not just angie. By the way, they changed that it's not list anymore.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that yeah, good luck to them. I think they can go to the corporate graveyard along with red lobster uh, I am bummed about red lobsterster.
Speaker 1:Those cheddar biscuits, dan oh my God, those are good.
Speaker 2:I don't like it. When was?
Speaker 1:the last time you had a cheddar biscuit.
Speaker 2:I don't think I've ever had one.
Speaker 1:Have you ever been to Red Lobster?
Speaker 2:Maybe we went once.
Speaker 1:Oh, so you don't even like Red Lobster. I hate the smell of fish.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a bad restaurant for you then yeah, no, that's, that's not where you want to go. That and long john silver's. You probably don't want to go to either of those places, all right, well, you listen. I don't know if they're still selling them in stores, but they did sell them in stores for a while. But if you can get your hand on some red lobster cheddar biscuits, it's worth it, before it's gone forever as long as they don't have fish in them there's no, there's no fish.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't. I don't, like I don't love fish.
Speaker 2:I mean, I'm I'm fine with fish, I don't believe you, there's probably like an anchovy in the center of each one.
Speaker 1:No, if it was, I would vomit, but I would also try to get you to eat them. So you're not wrong in assuming that I would do that. But I am saying hand to god, I enjoy the cheddar biscuits and you would too there it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you know, hopefully they made a little money on this movie, it's one of those.
Speaker 1:I didn't even look it gets a.
Speaker 2:It seems like this is another one of those movies that you know gets on a lot of hate hate lists and this does not belong on hate hate lists yeah, well, I mean, I don't.
Speaker 1:again, we don't know anything about the games, so if you're a fan of the games, it could have gotten it all wrong. You know what I mean? I'm going to be sure.
Speaker 2:When did the first Keanu Reeves John Wick movie come out? Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 1:I didn't expect you to ask me that you should know the answer to that question, Tony.
Speaker 2:You've been a fan of that franchise.
Speaker 1:I am a fan of the franchise. You're absolutely right, it's ooh 2014. So before this movie there's the kiss of death. That's too bad.
Speaker 2:Because this movie aesthetically very similar, right? Yes?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just worse in every conceivable way. Ah, sad. What are you going to do?
Speaker 2:Okay, Tony, this is the point at which you talk about something you like this week.
Speaker 1:So it's not a movie I apologize or TV, but it is a podcast.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, it's called Mission Implausible.
Speaker 1:It is two ex-CIA agents who are debunking um conspiracy theories and it's it's fun, it's really fun to listen to. Are they funny, or are they? Uh? I mean, they make a couple of jokes. They're not overly funny, but they do share anecdotes from their time in the field, what they are allowed to share without, you know, getting arrested and murdered, um, so there's, it's really interesting. I'm really having a good time. They did the first episode, um, I totally forgot there was something interesting. Oh okay, oh uh. They did bill gates with the compute, the microchips in the vaccines. They did that one, uh, which was hilarious. They just I just listened to one about, uh, january 6th oh, wow, okay but yeah, there's some.
Speaker 1:There's some cool stuff. It's interesting. I would recommend it if you have any interest in conspiracy theories or just listening to two guys that spent almost 30 years each in the cia which is very interesting doing real stuff and have to like real espionage shit and it's cool.
Speaker 2:Cool. I started the new Disney Plus Doctor who. I didn't. Is this a? Is it a cartoon? No, it's the new guy. The new guy. It's on Disney Plus now. Yes, they, oh BBC did not have the money to keep on making it at the level they wanted to make it at, so they, they went in with with Disney Wow and it's on.
Speaker 1:Disney plus.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's cool and I got a new guy and they brought Steven Moffat back. Who's the producer? That was sort of before this last, maybe one or two producers and I I gotta say I stopped watching under Peter Capaldi and I didn't watch much of uh, jody, what's her name? And I, I love peter capaldi and I love her and I just like it was just a show, wasn't the show that I wanted to see. And this show is right back to being real doctor. Who, interesting, where there's just a lot of real doctor. Who, he kind of things where you know who's like this is not happening on my you know he, just he's the guy. That's like I'm going to figure out a way. And these episodes are insane the Christmas one, which was the first one, the second one insane. I didn't watch the third one. I skipped to the fourth one because I heard things about the fourth one. I wanted to watch it and you know you watch things so weird sometimes. I skipped to the fourth one because I heard things about the fourth one.
Speaker 1:I wanted to watch it and you know you watch things so weird sometimes. You can't just skip things, yeah, you can.
Speaker 2:Let me explain something to you. You can't Key point being new companion great, and this new guy is just, he's just dynamic. You know, you're just like Okay, when people move into the Doctor who role and just are like this is my role, everybody shut up. You're like yeah, thank you thank you for this. Okay, maybe I'll give it a shot then yeah, to watch the christmas one, because I can't even tell you what happened. It's just beyond insane. Okay, tony, what do you got for us next week?
Speaker 1:I've been waffling all day. I'm not gonna lie to you. There's two things that I really want to do, but I think I'm gonna go with the one that's more recent. Oh, yes, so I want to go back to 2019. Oh, one of my best friends, will Smith, did a movie with himself, and of course it's called Gemini man. Oh and uh, I don't know. It's interesting because the rotten tomatoes is very skewed. It's got 27% critic score but an 83% audience score, but the trailer looked terrible it it looks like the young one looks terrible.
Speaker 2:Right he looks like a monster.
Speaker 1:And it's been four years and I haven't watched it on my own. So this is how I get these things done I force us to watch it, we're ready to Gemini man it up, baby Gemini man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's still a lot of movies we need to do. Yes, yes, there are. I got a lot of movies we need to do.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, there are not need to do. Get to do it is a privilege I have one for my next pick.
Speaker 2:That I'm just very excited about you don't seem excited.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited. You seem defeated by it. I'm very excited about it.
Speaker 2:I almost was going to preempt you and not let you make a pick this week. Wow, you are unbelievable very excited about it.
Speaker 1:I almost was going to preempt you and not let you make a pick this week. Wow, you are unbelievable. You know what? We can't give you power because you abuse it, dan Goodsell. But thank you for letting me pick.
Speaker 2:Jim and I are very excited. Will Smith we've watched him a number of times.
Speaker 1:We sure have Still more to come.
Speaker 2:We haven't done Wild Wild West yet.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:It's like I've seen Wild Wild West. I know why it's terrible. Of course It'll be fun to talk about. And the other one that's always sort of looming in my thought patterns is John Carter, warlord of Mars. Yeah, I always get these streams on, not streams things where people talk and they're like you know what movie was really good that everybody craps on John Carter.
Speaker 1:Warlord of Mars. I mean, I remember not hating it, it's not terrible terrible, but it's not.
Speaker 2:You can't say it was good, no, no, no, I'm not agreeing with your friend there.
Speaker 1:I don't think that it's not terrible. Terrible, but it's not. You can't say it was good. No, no, I'm not. I'm not agreeing with your friend there. I don't think that it's good, but I remember not hating it and I also remember liking taylor kitch and being like man. This guy has just had a string of bad luck where either the movie's not good or he like he's fine but the movie's not good, and then people blame him. He got a rotten little run there. Battleship was in that. Oh, he was in that. Remember that movie. But yeah, I would love to do that at some point.
Speaker 2:We are Team Taylor Kitsch over here I am too. And he's not terrible in John Carter. You're like okay, it's just the movie's weird. You're just like ugh.
Speaker 1:Because it's just see the movie's weird. You're just like, oh, you know it.
Speaker 2:Because it's disney right and disney.
Speaker 1:You know well, they don't know what they're doing. Just just watch the star wars films. Oh, I love a new hope oh no, the force awakens.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a freudian slip um that's the other thing people need to spend four hours doing is watching the new jenny nicholson takedown of the star cruiser. You know what?
Speaker 1:star cruiser is like the ship in star wars.
Speaker 2:Disney. At disney world opened a hotel called star oh yeah, no, I do remember that.
Speaker 1:Is it still open? No, it closed.
Speaker 2:Yikes and she went oh. She just put up her latest video which is four hours long where she deconstructs. That's a lot the beginning, the end, her going on it how it didn't work, why it didn't work, why it couldn't work. And the video goes pretty fast and she's like the queen of the takedowns, and I've been.
Speaker 2:I was just watching her rise of skywalker takedown, because they're like podcasts, you just put them on and just have her roast. Sure, she just roasts the hell out of these things that do not have plots, that you know rises, or is that what? The last one, whatever, the very last? Yeah, I think that's right, yeah, yeah it's just like you I've never seen it, so I can't talk about it.
Speaker 1:But I mean it's, it was a weird from I saw it in theaters, that's it, and it was a lot of just like a mishmash of like fan and being too scared to try anything and then ignoring the two the movie that came before it. Like it was a lot, it was just a. It was really weird. If I remember that correctly and I do remember, don't they I think they fake kill chewy like they make you think the chewy's dead. You can't do that, that's, that's, that's not okay. I don't, yeah, I don't remember. I don't remember much, but I remember being walking out and just being like what's the point of all of that? Why did I do that?
Speaker 2:And they just dropped the new knives out. Super, give you no information Trailer. There's a third one. Oh yeah, oh yeah, they signed for three or four more at least.
Speaker 1:I didn't realize that. Okay, I'm a big fan of those movies. I like them both. I know that you only liked one of them.
Speaker 2:right, I liked the second one. It's right up there, one of my top movies of the past 10 years and top movies of all time. It is just the character work, the structure, just like everything like everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's good. I, I and I, we like them both. We're big fans of both movies. So, yeah, they are different but we enjoy very different and I hope, I hope the new one is.
Speaker 2:You know, I think the new one's going to sort of follow the, the model that he had on that one, where you just really make a mystery. That's like, wow, sure, yeah, certainly. The character work in that first one's great.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:It's just the mystery didn't do much for me. Yeah, I get that, and I didn't like the whole thing where she barfed, when she lied. I hate that. That killed me.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, you can't win them all Dan.
Speaker 2:Well, we're going to go see some Gemini man and we'll be uh back next week. Uh, talking about that.
Speaker 1:Oh, if you like and subscribe, I thought about an afterthought I thought about it right at the beginning and then I was like well, I thought you were gonna do it, because you talked about youtube, you talked about what we should call it, and then you just we just went on, you're just like and we're done.
Speaker 2:I was about to. Then I started talking about those things I completely forgot well, you know, todd, like and subscribe again.
Speaker 1:My friend, you're the only person still here and my buddy, tom.
Speaker 2:Thank you, tom. Keep it up, buddy. All right, we'll see you next time goodbye everybody.
Speaker 1:Hey watch it With Dan and Tony. Hey watch it With Dan and Tony. It's like watching, yeah.