Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Unfrosted
Have you ever watched a movie so perplexing that you just had to talk about it? That's exactly what happened with Jerry Seinfeld's "Unfrosted," and we're serving up a full breakdown with a side of sarcasm. Join us, Dan and Tony, as we dissect the film's underbaked humor and the curious case of historical mascots in shoddy costumes. It's a wild ride through comedic miscues and a script that needed more time in the oven, but we promise you'll come away with more than a half-toasted understanding of where this pastry-themed film went awry.
Ever wondered how a ravioli could survive in an aquarium or why a kid might pack a toaster during a runaway attempt? We tackle these surreal moments with a blend of amusement and critique. Our conversation snacks on the oddities of the narrative, the clunky integration of historical references, and a cereal award show that was more cringe than crunch. With guest appearances by Amy Schumer and Jim Gaffigan, we chew through performances and ponder the comedic potential of space race products that somehow didn't translate into out-of-this-world laughter.
To top off our episode, we sink our teeth into the satirical layers of "Unfrosted," measuring the sprinkle of humor against the dough of historical context. We debate whether Rice Krispie Treats demand a chocolate topping while reflecting on how a seemingly straightforward story of Pop-Tarts got so crumbly. From McCarthy's comedic flickers to Marsden's solid turn, we're unpacking it all—no toasting necessary. So, grab a snack and tune in for our frosted analysis; it's a conversation that's sure to pop.
This description written proudly by AI.
Be our friend!
Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech
And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT
I keep on trying to turn on Guys and Dolls and Shan makes me turn it off.
Speaker 2:Sure, I was Nicely, nicely Johnson in high school. You did Guys and Dolls, we sure did. Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, y'all rocking the boat. Is Nicely, nicely the larger guy, the fat guy, the fat guy yeah. As if you really needed to ask that, of course.
Speaker 1:Welcome to Hate Watching with Dan and Tony. I'm Dan, I'm Tony. On this show. We watch a movie Sometimes it's a movie that we've already watched before and then we're like this would be a good idea if I watched a movie I didn't like again so that I could talk about it.
Speaker 2:And force me to watch it.
Speaker 1:And force you to watch it and force us to all have to. You're making too much noise for me to enjoy my nap.
Speaker 2:You came in hot today.
Speaker 1:I'm proud of you so the movie that we watched this week was Unfrosted Jerry Seinfeld's 2024, an hour and 36 minutes. Woo Woof Felt like a lot more than that.
Speaker 2:It sure did.
Speaker 1:How do you say that word? Payon, p-e-o-n. Payon, I don't know how to say that word, you know like his homage to breakfast, nostalgia, culture, culture, the Pop-Tart. And I was going to start out by saying I don't know if I hated this movie, other than this movie truly frustrated me because everything about it not everything, almost everything about it wasn't very funny.
Speaker 2:Or good.
Speaker 1:I think we can say that or good Okay good, I don't know you could have come out saying this movie is a perfection no, no, no, I did hate this movie. But for.
Speaker 2:Reasons that I don't think everyone Else would hate it, if that makes sense. It personally offended Me, but we'll get into it as we go. It's a piece of trash. This is a piece of trash movie.
Speaker 1:When you look at the. I was just reading the Rotten Tomatoes, which usually I don't put that much into them, but it is like five, four stars, one and I want to give it a zero Everybody. What was the best part about it is what was this one? Let me see if I can give it a zero Everybody. The best part about it is what was this one? Let me see if I can find it real quick. It's a big old ad pushing breakfast cereals. Those are my favorite where this movie was made to pump up Kellogg's and Kellogg's brands. Everyone's going to be like I need some Apple Jacks.
Speaker 2:I don't think we can get mad at this movie for product placement. I don't think that's fair, because it's literally what it's about. Guys, you can't go into a movie called Unfrosted, about the beginnings of Pop-Tarts, and be like there's too much consumerism in this movie.
Speaker 1:This movie about the development of the Nike Air Jordan I just it's almost like they're pushing Nike down our throats, and they did.
Speaker 2:And I bought it hook, line and sinker. I'll tell you, air is still my favorite movie of last year. Wow, and I wrote about that. I wrote that's one of my four notes. I wrote four total notes on this and one of them is about Air, not four notes. I wrote four total notes on this and one of them is about air, not even necessarily about this movie. Six, yeah, I wrote seven pages of notes. I don't even know what you could possibly have written down. I can't wait to find out.
Speaker 1:I could probably spend, you and I if we wanted to make one of those shows where we pull out each clip. This whole movie I, this whole movie, I think, needed to be dissected Cause I think this script is. I think the script is terrible.
Speaker 2:Um, well, yeah.
Speaker 1:Um, from from the plot to, and then the jokes. I just like every joke and almost every joke in this thing. You're just like why didn't you improve that joke? It just felt. Every joke felt like it's a first draft. They just wrote down a joke and they're like there it is.
Speaker 2:That's it Done. We're just going to keep that. There was no. Yeah, there's no punch up of the script. That's why it felt like a first draft script and they were just like yeah, let's just shoot it.
Speaker 1:I don't know that's what this movie felt like, and the people that like this movie like it because it does a thing that we, we in the business which is not really a thing, it's just reference comedy they're like if I say you know, if I show you know the, the toucan Sam with Cedric's head, and then he's singing Ave Maria. That's funny, because toucan Sam with this thing that's a little different, and that's the joke. And then you're just like it's not really a joke.
Speaker 1:No, it's not a joke, because those things do not connect in any way, shape or form. They're just two things that you've, you've put out there and I mean, yeah, if you want to, if you think it's to see somebody in a Toucan Sam outfit, you're like oh, that's cool, look at that, that's cool. Okay, sure, you know. Oh, there's Hugh Grant inside the Tony the Tiger costume. Oh, that's great. It's Hugh Grant inside it. Oh, okay, I get it. Oh, he's going to put on Lear at Kellogg's. Oh, I get it.
Speaker 1:That's funny, he's a who aren't going to really delve into the comedy could sit there and go like oh it's, you know, it's an hour and a half of my life and okay, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's, it's an enough. What is the word?
Speaker 1:Unoffensive. It's an offensive Innocuous.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's good, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And so like I and we're like it's fine, that's a fine movie, that's okay, that's totally okay. You're wrong, it's not a fine movie because it could have been so much better. This is a general story, not the actual plot of the movie. General story I enjoy the idea of making up half, two-thirds, three-quarters, whatever of the history of Megatron. That's all fun. I can have a good time with that. You're the idea to make it slightly irreverent. I'm on board Like there's, there are things that you started to do correctly and then just I don't know if you got lazy, you got rushed, I don't know. They just kind of quit, they quit on everything and then they hired a bunch of comedians who can't act for shit, instead of hiring actors to do comedy and that is the biggest problem I have with this movie.
Speaker 2:What's the best part of this movie to you do you? Do you have like a thing that you were like?
Speaker 1:oh no, I did enjoy that I mean you want me just to list off what I liked in this movie? Yeah, yeah I have something. I like the Quaker Oats guy. Yep, I liked Bill Burr as JFK.
Speaker 2:Sure, you were just like this guy can do no more.
Speaker 1:He's very funny. He's delivering lines oh.
Speaker 2:Bill Burr.
Speaker 1:What's-his-name-is-Jack-a-Lane. I thought was really good and underutilized. I thought he was wasted. I thought Christian Slater, as the milkman, was wasted.
Speaker 2:You're just like oh my God, Christian Slater Hugely I want to see this.
Speaker 1:And then, lastly, what's his name as the head of the milk guys, criminally underused?
Speaker 2:Peter, dinklage Peter.
Speaker 1:Dinklage. Yeah, peter Dinklage.
Speaker 2:Half of those are real actors.
Speaker 1:Yes, All the real actors came on there and were like giving you real stuff, yep. And then the real comedians didn't well see, but then the comedians didn't have anything to do because, oh, I disagree, oh, you think that they could have delivered this terrible material better and it would have been good.
Speaker 2:I and the not good. Okay, it never. The script is not good. Let's be very, very clear. But let's take, let's take a look at gaffigan. Right, gaffigan is doing a caricature of a caricature. It's not a character. There's no realism, he's just doing I'm gonna put on a funny little deep voice and that'll be the whole idea I do for this guy. What is that? That's like. It's like bad sketch comedy. That's like you go to an open mic night and you see a sketch group that is a piece of shit and you're like, okay, that guy's just putting on a voice and you think that's a character. Great garbage, absolute garbage. And if you have a real actor in that role, some of those lines would be funny.
Speaker 1:But that was one of the things that was annoying to me is you had Melissa McCarthy and you had Gaffigan, who I think can both act. I've seen Gaffigan act somewhere. Haven't I seen him somewhere act? I thought I've seen him, I'm sure you have.
Speaker 2:Listen, I'll believe you, because I'm not a huge Gaffigan fan, so I don't follow his career, but I will tell you that he was trash. What's her name? Amy? She's trash, amy Schumer, just like Amy Schumer, just can't.
Speaker 1:It was sad. First of all, I don't think she can act.
Speaker 2:Let me just be very clear. And she's doing like a weird, like one of I don't I don't even know what she's doing.
Speaker 1:It's terrible, it's really bad.
Speaker 2:She's just like oh, I'm the evil character. I'm going to say things with a smirk and be like oh, mean, awful, just terrible, like it's not, there's no character, there's nothing. If you get a real actor in that role, maybe Still not funny, I'll be honest, but at least it's believable. So for me, what I was going to say my favorite parts of the movie right, hugh Grant is my favorite part of this movie. Again, he's not given a lot to do, but there are moments in this movie, like his very first scene, when they give him the line reading and he goes are you giving me a read?
Speaker 1:I was like that's so good.
Speaker 2:That was a good joke, though. It's a good joke and he delivers it well, and it's like this is what. This is the combination of things you need for this kind of movie, because it's a silly movie, but to ground a silly movie, you need good performances. Yeah, you have to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, anyhow, I mean that that that bit. He's like you know, so he's. He's doing the tony todd commercial and he's, you know, the guys tell him how to do it. He's like you know, so he's. He's doing the toey tar commercial and he's, you know, the guys tell him how to do it. He's like you're giving me a read that should have then then followed up with three more lines, right you're just like they don't build anything? No, they. They'll throw a line out there and then it's like bye-bye let it die, we've left.
Speaker 1:We've left the room. We're walking away. Okay, good, that's over, we got. We got through that. This whole movie is like we got through that. Let's move on. You know we better not spend any time exploring what is fucking good in this movie correct, and it didn't seinfeld write this.
Speaker 2:He and a couple other guys wrote this during the pandemic, yeah because it feels like there's very little joke structure which is surprising to me like there's a point where they're listing off at the awards. They're listing off breakfast cereals and there's like a real kind of cereal and then a joke cereal.
Speaker 1:And then we're done. Okay, let's talk about the movie, because I've written down every joke that failed in the movie just about.
Speaker 2:I'll hit my four notes as they come along.
Speaker 1:So we start up. Here's this kid packing up his belongings to abandon home, to run away. Did you write down what he do? You remember what he put in there?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:He put a slinky. Was it all toys? Yes, of course it was all toys, yeah.
Speaker 2:It was a slinky.
Speaker 1:Well, it wasn't all toys A slinky, a GI Joe, a comic book pocket knife, a rubber ball, five Bazooka Joe bubble gums and a whoopee cushion.
Speaker 2:This is not a kid. This is not a kid. Nope, this is not a kid, this is a grown man.
Speaker 1:This is a man saying what are kid things that we could. Yep. And then the last one will be the joke, which is the whoopee cushion doesn't make any sense doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:It's like yeah, but the good news is is that well, there's no reason for him to run away, and he doesn't run away, so really the whole thing means nothing. So that's the good news is, it's totally for nothing anyhow. So he goes and he?
Speaker 1:what does he? What does he immediately do while he's running?
Speaker 2:away. Well, he stops at a diner that I think is probably 10, 15 feet away from his house I can't tell, but like I don't think he went very far goes to a diner and what does he do? He sits down next to an old man, sits, sits down next to Jerry Seinfeld, and what does he order? Oh, he ordered something. I don't even remember that, to be honest with you.
Speaker 1:Two Pop-Tarts and leave the box.
Speaker 2:Can you get Pop-Tarts in a real restaurant?
Speaker 1:I feel like no, Maybe no in a diner, maybe Probably not but maybe I've never seen it, I've never heard of it.
Speaker 1:They didn't package pop tarts for sale as a thing, and you know like because you know, in a diner you'd have that kellogg's rack which would have the snack packs and they've they've always serviced that kind of thing. That they service this kind of thing with pop tarts not really, okay, interesting. Yes, pop tart is not a thing you want to give to someone, right? A pop tart is a thing where you have to carefully get it to where you want it and then you have to eat it just right and you'll burn yourself.
Speaker 1:It's not a product that you're going to trust a diner is going to trust to put out there because they're going to burn people's mouths and it's going to lead.
Speaker 2:You just remind me of one of my least favorite jokes in the movie, by the way, which we'll get to later, but put a pin on someone else making it on Pop-Tarts. But I guess it's weird because he didn't have any money. No, he didn't put any money in his little satchel, right, no, okay. So what is the movie trying to say here, where the kid ran away from home, went to a diner very close to home, sat next to a creepy old man and then ordered Pop-Tarts? What do you think they're trying to say with this scene? Exactly Nothing. It's absolutely nothing. There's no reason for this to be in the movie. It means absolutely nothing. I can't even, I don't even know why this is here.
Speaker 1:Well, so you have some bookends so he can be telling the story, as opposed to showing him driving into Kellogg's the first morning and showing the story.
Speaker 2:Just oh hey, these are the characters, let's meet them.
Speaker 1:Nope, nope. We're meeting a character that means nothing. We're setting up a narrative device that means nothing and is unnecessary and doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2:And our movie is still only 96 minutes long and the tops and tails mean nothing. So that's eight minutes gone already.
Speaker 1:And we have a whole dance scene at the end of all the people that were in the movie. Which, by the way, I enjoyed a lot, which they're having more fun doing that than they had in the movie. A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent, and that was my whole thought during this scene, because that's my last note of the thing is, this is the best part of the movie. Everyone looks so happy. They must not have seen the movie. That's what I said.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So Jerry says tough day. And the kid says you don't want to know. So he picks up the box and on the box it talks about how grandma invented Pop-Tarts. And then he's like that box bag is a lie, that stuff is baloney. And the kid's like well, how do you know that? He's like because I write what's on those boxes. Do you want to hear the real story? The kid says nope, and he's like come on, it's a good one. All right, make it quick. Now, in every movie when someone says no to something, you have to give them a reason why they then will change their mind as opposed to come on, Come on buddy boy, just listen to me.
Speaker 1:Okay, now I'll listen to this. I'm an old man, I want to tell my story. Right, yeah, it's like when the government comes to pick up Rocky or not Rocky Rambo, to go have him do the thing, he has to say no, and then they have to come back again later and there has to be some change. There has to be some change. The call to action has to be predicated on something, but instead it's like I'm just going to ask you a second time and on the second time you'll say yes, right, oh, yes, you asked me a second time.
Speaker 2:Now I'm saying yes, yeah, yeah, it's great writing. Also, I just want to point out, dan, I don't think he writes what's on the back of the boxes. I think that's an entirely different department. So I think that that's a lie.
Speaker 1:Once again, we don't know what this guy does.
Speaker 2:What his job is, is he?
Speaker 1:product development. Is he the guy that writes copy? Is he the guy that makes?
Speaker 2:every decision.
Speaker 1:Is he the guy that writes copy? Is he the guy that makes every decision? Is he the guy that this he's, you know? Does he fire the mascots? We don't. We don't know what he does, because he just does whatever the scene is necessary for him to do yeah hence another problem he has no emotional investment on what's what's going on in this movie.
Speaker 2:Even if he did jerry couldn't act it, so it doesn't really matter.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we started out. Now we're going to go back to his thing. Here's our mouth man. He's named Mike. He's a swell guy. Okay, yeah, come back to that. Put a pin in that. Okay, drives to work. Here's Kellogg's. They're against Post Boom, beautiful Tony the Tiger statue. Not, they're against Post Boom, beautiful Tony the Tiger statue. Not as beautiful Snap Crackle and Pop statue. The building they're going to is the University of Irvine administration building, which is where I went to college. So I was like, hey, I know what that building is. Oh, can I, that's fun. And boom, that's where it is. That's where it looks good because it looks old. Sure, he meets, he goes in. He meets the main Kellogg's guy, edsel, played by what was his name? You said his name Jim Gaffigan.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's how much I'm paying attention.
Speaker 1:I was like I don't know who you're talking about, dan, so he meets him and he goes down to where they're shooting the Tony the Tiger commercial.
Speaker 2:Talk to me about the mascot costumes. Oh, you don't like them. They look like trash. I mean, they look cheap, they look cheap. Is that what they looked like? So this is a real question that I had, because I wasn't alive when this movie took place, dan, unlike some people on this podcast. So I'm just wondering like did they look terrible?
Speaker 1:well, they didn't really do mascot costumes like that, then he would have never appeared in a commercial interesting he is the voice of an animated character so they never did live action of these I mean I'm, so this whole movie's a lie.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm sure at some point in the 80s they started having a Tony the Tiger mascot costume walking around. But Thurl Ravenscroft is an animated, he's a voice actor, he's not. I mean, maybe he was a real actor too, but we all know him from his voice acting, which was Tony the Tiger like you know, the voice of the Haunted Mansion, you know all sorts of stuff Thoreau did.
Speaker 1:Which is great, absolutely amazing, but instead we're putting him in this costume because we need to have him standing there as opposed to him. You know, looping to a commercial where everything was already written.
Speaker 2:Also, you wouldn't really put him in the suit full stop because he can't deliver the line in the suit, because it sounds muffled, that's, that's just science you know, and so we let this stuff go, but the suit just looks so cheap it looks cheap.
Speaker 2:It does look cheap. I. I honestly thought I just assumed that they were making a joke on how they used to look. That was a, that was just an assumption I made as a modern viewer, uh, but apparently I'm wrong. All right, so that makes it much weirder for me that then they chose to make them look like shit. I thought it was a joke which I, I don't know. Uh, that's too bad. It would have been a good joke if they were making fun of how they used to look and, and you know, that was a real thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean not in my experience. So boom, you know he's trying to figure out the line and he takes his head off and he's like and then Jerry's like this is a great commercial, we got the best writers in the business cut to these three sad people on the couch and I'm like, oh, this is going to be interesting to see how he interacts with his writers, which never see him again. Nope, and then somehow we get it. Somebody says about them they're great.
Speaker 2:Well, hugh says it, hugh Grant says it, which is weird because he was just complaining about the line, so he doesn't think those guys are great, but then so I didn't really understand the sequence of events here.
Speaker 1:You would think, see the, the kernel of the idea person. We never figure out who the idea person is.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so it's not really Jerry's character and they kind of make that that they're not idea people. Yep, but he can spot the idea when it comes across there, but he can also not spot the idea, you know it's like you can just totally miss it yeah. You know you need to make a decision as to like who's good at their job.
Speaker 2:You mean define a character. Yeah, wouldn't that be interesting? Yeah, that would have.
Speaker 1:That would be so weird, it would have been interesting if they had defined this character as a character that has strengths and whatnot.
Speaker 2:Because he never really does anything. He gets other people to do stuff, which is, I guess, in a way a strength sort of, but we don't really utilize it.
Speaker 1:I don't know. So he does the line they're great, everyone claps. He does a bit about how it's hot in the costume and then Jerry says, oh, we'll do something in the lab, and then Jerry leaves.
Speaker 2:I do like the hot in the costume joke, by the way. It did make me laugh.
Speaker 1:And then he's like I'll do something in the lab and then he walks away. And then he's like where is the lab to a random person? He's like there's no lab.
Speaker 2:So there is no lab, so you just lie to him, just straight to his face.
Speaker 1:Which, if you have a character that's lying to people's face, straight to their face, that is a character trait. You must repeat that, repeat again and again and again.
Speaker 2:No, no, no. Just the one time, dan, just the one time, just this one time time, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1:Then, as he's walking, the assistant lady comes over there and they talk about how Froot Loops suck, and so he's like, oh, double the sugar, double the gluten.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I don't know, is that a joke? Is that funny?
Speaker 1:I don't Well, they said. He said the word gluten.
Speaker 2:So that's, funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a joke, see, that's a joke Cool, if you say a word like woke or gluten. Those are jokes. Those are called jokes, tony you wouldn't know that. It's funny when you say it gluten you really you almost make it three syllables gluten. I like that gluten, and now this is you know, you're kind of cruising along at this point, you're like I don't know, and then I was.
Speaker 2:You're waiting for for it to like start. You're like, okay, this is all a preamble to something he's. They're cruising through this just so they can get to nothing as it turns out, but you're waiting for it to start. There's the Seinfeld thing.
Speaker 1:It's a movie about nothing.
Speaker 2:It really is.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of nothing. Yeah Well, somebody said that it feels like a bunch of connected sketches. Like a bunch of connected sketches and that's it's. It's kind of like every little bit is a premise sketch that doesn't ever get off the ground.
Speaker 2:So here's a premise never, and we're not going to establish the premise but doesn't play the game of the scene. It never does, and that's what. That's one of two things that frustrates me so much about this movie. They never play their own games. They set up a game and they don't play it. And two, they hired a bunch of people that can't act.
Speaker 1:And that is the true problem with the movie, and it gets tiresome if you're looking at it that way. You know, if you consider the game just being referencing the past and showing colorful things and people having light problems, it is colorful.
Speaker 1:You're okay, you know it's very, it's very well lit and you, you get to see stuff and you're like, okay, but but these endless games, just they don't, they don't take them anywhere and it's, it's sad, and this was the one that just there's, this was the one that killed me. Snap, crackle and Pop come up and they're like we're you need the guys that appear as them, and they're like you need us and we're opening grocery stores. And then he's all like I can get rid of you. Oh, no, no, no, no. They're like we need more, we need a surfing movie. What's the name of the surfing movie that they wanted, want to?
Speaker 2:do. I didn't write it dan it was something like surf crackle surfs up. I don't know. It was something dumb crispy boys surfing along that is their joke title.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it is. This is actually my thing. That I probably hated the most about the movie was the weakness of the naming of things.
Speaker 2:Which is, yes, I agree 100%, because you are creating these names as jokes. So, again, this goes to the later scene that I want to talk about, which is where they set up a list sketch and don't do the list sketch. But it's just like. It's like they don't care, it's like I don't know what it is. It's just like the joke. They think the joke is giving something a name, as opposed to the name itself.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, like it's. Just I don't.
Speaker 1:It's so weird, it's really painful Crispy boys surfing along, it doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 2:And if you delivered that, Dan, if you delivered that on stage, it would be dead silent. It would be dead silent. You know what they needed to do. Jerry needed to take this on the road and put it up on stage to be like okay, so these jokes don't work, let's start all over again. But they did not.
Speaker 1:If you did that at a table read no one would read oh my god, it would be silent.
Speaker 2:Everyone would get fired.
Speaker 1:On that table read what we used to do are sort of reads in the sketch class. What I would do is I'd have my script and then every time people laughed I would just put an l, you put a little, put a little mark by, and then you know that you don't suck.
Speaker 2:Also it tells you, like because you know what jokes you wrote and I just did a check mark. That was my thing, I would check mark. If it worked, I would check mark it. If it doesn't work, I underline it. So you know what to punch up and what to change.
Speaker 1:If you did this whole script in front of a room of the comedians that are in this movie, they would not be laughing at any of these things.
Speaker 2:Never Including their own jokes.
Speaker 1:Including their own jokes, and that's if you're not laughing at your own stupid jokes. That is a problem, it's a problem. Yeah, it's a big problem so he's like I'm going to fire you, I'm going to add boing, I'm just going to split your check.
Speaker 2:Bl check, blah, blah, blah. Who cares stupid? Um boom, we and it. Yeah, it never comes. This mentality never comes back later, not really like he. We are defining this character. He lied to tony the tiger. He threatens snap, crackle, pop, and then so you kind of think, okay, this is the kind of guy we're going to deal with, and then you don't no, he's not a giant dick and it's super weird.
Speaker 1:Well, it's your classic case of well, I want to be a dick to be funny, but I'm not really a dick. I mean, I guess, because I'm not a character, I don't exist as a thing. Well, yeah, I'm not a thing okay, now we have the, the serial award show. We meet. Post, we meet. Finally we meet. What's his name? Who's her assistant? Who has a few lines every once in a while From?
Speaker 2:the neighborhood and New Girl.
Speaker 1:New Girl, he's funny.
Speaker 2:You know he's great. I wish that he had someone better to play off of than Amy Schumer, because together it's just you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:Terrible. Amy Schumer's character generally wants to go like this. I'm not listening to you. Yeah, but she doesn't. Even I just gave more of a performance than she did. If she did this, I am not listening to you. Why would I listen to you? It's like just give us a read, give us something.
Speaker 2:Anything, she's just like Just anything.
Speaker 1:I'm not listening to you. Anything she's just like, just anything.
Speaker 2:I'm not listening to you, whatever. She's not even doing that. She's not even doing that much some yeah. So max is just like he's basically playing to a wall, but worse because it's a human and he's trying to pull something out and he just can't.
Speaker 1:So the quaker oats man comes over there. He's dressed as the quaker oats man and he's all like. His name is isaiah. Yeah, and he's like. You know, he's just like and he's great, he's very, very funny.
Speaker 2:And why is he so funny? Other than he's funny. But like he's funny, he's committed to a character. His jokes are all in character, his lines are all in character. He is a character delivering jokes and it's great. And he's totally underutilized. He we needed at least two or three more scenes with him, I thought.
Speaker 1:And he gets, he comes back in maybe one time. So boom, we start giving the awards.
Speaker 2:The awards are like best new character and then best use of niacin are the two we hear as the you know, and also there was one that's like best wax bag or something like that Easiest bag to open.
Speaker 1:Easiest to open wax bag. These are not jokes, these are not funny. You know, jerry's like niacin, that's in cereal, what's niacin? I don't know what that is. Best use of niacin becomes what's supposed to stand in as a joke. Yeah, but the post table is over there, they're happy and kellogg's is winning everything and they stand on stage and jump like this whoo, we won everything. And then they have all the awards on their table and they're like, why are they happy? Then we do the in memoriam thing and and we get two cereals that are wilt chamberlain's, which looks like Wheaties. So it's Wilt Chamberlain, which I don't get that joke at all. I don't know.
Speaker 2:He didn't die in 1963, I don't believe no, but he was a great basketball player, so I don't think in my mind this was the real cereal, like the calm before the storm. So this is like, yeah, it's kind of a real cereal because you know, the Wheaties is always a breakfast of champions, so you put on the best basketball player of that era.
Speaker 1:That means, but you see, it's in memoriam. So it's a cereal that died interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't even think about that. I just thought of it as a list sketch of funny cereal names. Okay, no, and it does not deliver on that because so it goes, one that I consider a relatively real cereal seems real. And then the next one is is not a real, serious, I'm about grandma's holes, grandma's holes which made me chuckle and I was like okay, what's the next one? And we cut away to a different scene.
Speaker 1:Well, we, we cut away to the quaker guy, and he is, and on the box it says have a bowl of my holes, which is yeah, which is rude, which in a, but which it's still funny I mean not.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't think it's funny, but it's like sorry, maybe not funny, but it's at least an attempt at a joke. It's a. It is a joke yeah, there it is.
Speaker 1:It's an actual joke. Then the quaker guy is crying, ostensibly because he knew grandma or he's old.
Speaker 2:I don't know he's going to die.
Speaker 1:We don't know why he's. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:And that's it. And then that's it, that's it. There's no other. Like I thought this was going to be a five or six funny getting wackier serials, it's not, it's two serials and then you're done and you're out, and I don't get it. I don't. It's basically.
Speaker 1:It perfectly sums up the whole movie to me Is they set up a premise and then they just abandon it immediately. A very classic comedic sketch, I mean I know Johnny Makey did one is you have the two the ad guys come in there and pitch the thing and it's a five minute sketch and they just keep pitching things that get crazier and crazier and crazier until they pick one, a crazy one, or something happens and they get you out of it. Yeah, but this is this movie.
Speaker 2:It's like we're going to do 20 seconds of a sketch and then leave them wanting more. Is that the idea? Maybe that's their idea. Maybe they're like, maybe you know what I figured it out. This is like a Zack Snyder push. They're going to release the Seinfeld cut of Unfrosted with 20 minutes of additional jokes that weren't in the original cut. Now we're going to get to the scene, which is the reason why we're talking about this movie. Oh, okay, what's the next scene? I?
Speaker 1:wish I took more notes. I was not going to do this because I watched it, this movie, and I was like whatever I didn't like it, but I didn't. You know. Shannon will say he didn't complain about it that much. Usually if it's a bad movie she gets a lot of complaints. You know pre-complaints before we do the show Makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you got.
Speaker 1:So here comes Bob. He's coming to work. He sees these two kids climb into the post-serial dumpster. Then he sees the trash truck coming up to imp you the dumpster. He does nothing.
Speaker 2:Yep, just watches it happen, watches it happen.
Speaker 1:Doesn't get out of his car and say, hey, there's kids in that dumpster.
Speaker 2:There's children in that dumpster. Don't dump it into your dump truck. Oh, this is a post-serial dumpster.
Speaker 1:The trash truck comes there, flips them over. We see the kids fall into the back and then they sort of work their way through it, sort of with the camera. Then the kids they get out and then they run to another dumpster in the back and then they jump into that. Jerry pulls up to the trash truck and he says, you know who are those kids? To the trash truck guy who, we're assuming, has not seen the kids but instead-.
Speaker 2:But you're wrong because it turns out he did see them. It just didn't care that he threw them in the truck, but continue.
Speaker 1:And he says what's with those kids? And he's like they come for the goo, they come for the goo. He goes over to that other dumpster they jumped into. There's another post dumpster and it is still full of trash.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but the trash truck left.
Speaker 1:Wouldn't it have emptied all the trash things?
Speaker 2:You would think so, but maybe he's like one a day. Every other day he comes and takes out. I don't know.
Speaker 1:So the kids are like you got to try this. It's like hot fruit lightning and it's a piece of you. It looks like a pop tart with some jelly on it. He changes it, he tastes it and it changes him and he rushes back to Kellogg's and he's like we got, we got it, they've got. Post has a fruit filled pastry. And then he's like but that I thought we already did that, it was a dead end. Then he's like Post, but I thought we already did that and it was a dead end. Then he's like Post must have cracked it. Yep, what is this? I don't know. You said this was your favorite scene in the movie. No, this is the thing that made me want to talk about this movie, because I'm just like I don't understand anything. Why are these kids going through a trash truck? What does that mean?
Speaker 1:Because they're so addicted they're to the goo they're committed to the goo that well then they, then they'd be jumping into the track, then they should be in the trash truck continuing to harvest the goo sure, sure, and then he's driving behind. He's like what are you kids doing?
Speaker 2:why are you in? But also, they're not. They're, they're just eating some of it. They're not like collecting, they're not, they're just eating some of it. They're not collecting it. They're not. You know what I mean. Shouldn't they be collecting it for later or something? As opposed?
Speaker 2:to just sitting in there eating it and there's a funny line. One of the kids is like oh, we're not. I don't know what he says. We have a perfectly normal home or something like that. We're not poor, basically yeah, but where are your parents then? Why are you in a trash? I don't know man. None of it makes a lick of sense.
Speaker 1:And none of it was funny.
Speaker 2:No, but that, to be fair, that's just the whole movie, so it's unfair to point to this scene as less funny than the rest of the scenes, unless some of the people that we mentioned previously were on screen. So I don't know, dan, I don't, I don't know, I don't get it, I don't. I don't know where this idea would have come from and I don't know who would have been like yeah, this is good, this is what. This is what we need as the catalyst to you finding out that they have a fruit-filled pastry.
Speaker 1:But this is how they find out, and so boom, great stuff. We go back there, so we continue on with Jerry and Jim Gaffigan and then we talk about how Kellogg's owns the awards. One of them has to explain to the other that they own the awards. Oh, jerry has to explain that they own the awards and he pays them off, and somehow he oh, oh yeah, I forgot that. You're like what? Why are?
Speaker 2:you telling us it doesn't make, what does it matter? It doesn't make any sense no, so boom.
Speaker 1:They're like oh my god, now post is going to be the new kid, the new king, and so jerry's like I'm not gonna be able to send my kids to college and I'm not going to be able to dot, dot, dot. What was his dream? What is the thing that he loses if they fail?
Speaker 2:carnival cruise?
Speaker 1:nope, uh, I don't know I need to give, have a lawn.
Speaker 2:Etzel says oh, you want sod I, oh, he wants sod I. Got to get sod.
Speaker 1:So this one line in here, which is ostensibly the most important line of the movie, which is what is your character's motivation?
Speaker 2:Your character's want what is his want.
Speaker 1:His want is he needs a sod lawn and we see a couple more times during the stupid movie his lawn is kind of fucked up and he looks at it sadly, and then at the very end he gets sawed. And in none of those scenes does the audience go, oh man that's oh.
Speaker 2:I wish he had a better yard. I wish he had a better guy, this poor guy, when he gets the side, we don't go.
Speaker 1:He finally got the side, it happened. No, never. We don't they're. They're inconsequential scenes that don't make any sense. Because this line doesn't make any sense, because this guy makes tons of money.
Speaker 2:So much money? Yeah, I mean, they've been top of the crop for years that's what they said, right, like they've been the king, so shouldn't he already have some? They're not working their way up, nope, they're at the top and they're worried they're going to fall.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's not the same, and so his thing can't be a money-motivated thing. It can't be yeah. He has to have a real reason why my dad blah, blah, blah, if I'm not number one then I'm number two. And number two is you do the steak knives. Number three you're fired. You know you got it. Has to be that you know. Use that joke. You use other jokes like that badly oh, ain't that the truth?
Speaker 2:yeah, and it's weird because at some point, the two owners of kellogg's and miss post post, they're like, oh, we inherited these businesses, which is actually one of my favorite. One of my favorite jokes is that they keep reminding each other that they inherited the business. They didn't build the business. Maybe something along those lines, maybe somewhere in there is where, because you know, because you're trying to prove yourself, because you inherited a great business and now you got to, you know, build it more, do something.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I'm just spitballing you, and you say it correctly, because if Jim Gaffigan's character at that point, if we really believed that it meant something to him, we'd never really believe it means anything to him.
Speaker 2:Well, unfortunately he's incapable of showing feelings because his caricature of a caricature is very. One note through the whole movie there's no levels to this guy.
Speaker 1:Okay, we'll fix it. Yep, I hate you. Okay, we have the first of the Walter Cronkite scenes. Walter Cronkite, do you know who Walter Cronkite is?
Speaker 2:I know who he is, okay, but I don't understand what we're saying. I don't understand what we're saying. I don't understand what we're doing with his toys.
Speaker 1:I don't get it In each Walter Cronkite scene he pulls out a vintage toy and then sort of plays with it, and sometimes it has a small effect on what's happening. And then he makes a joke about his home life being hard or him being a drunk Okay.
Speaker 2:Was he like? Was he famously in a bad marriage?
Speaker 1:or something. Nope, nope, he's. The most trusted man in America is Walter Cronkite.
Speaker 2:Right, Cool. So the only reason I know is from the newsroom. If you remember that show they, they, they just talk about him like yeah, no, I know Walter Cronkite, Like I he is. I've never watched any segments that he did a hundred years ago because it's before my time, but I just don't understand. I understand less even now the jokes.
Speaker 1:They don't make any sense. The toy thing doesn't make any sense. It's just a bridging thing to get us to the next scene. But for some reason, he uses a toy, because the final toy he uses actually plays some part in the plot. They did yeah yeah, oh, the silly buddy silly buddy, god, yeah, I know, I remember now, okay, we do a chester slink thing.
Speaker 1:Then we do a thing about them doing research and how they've they stole research from each other. I'm not even going to go into all that well, because that's that's like your move.
Speaker 2:Like you have to make a decision, right, that's a huge thing. So them stealing your research has to have more of an effect on the movie other than well, that's how they did it and now we're going to move on. You know what I mean. Like we don't deal with corporate espionage at all, other than this one, like string of scenes which, I'll admit, I did chuckle at the cameras I thought those were very funny but now we just move on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, forget about it gone. You can't, I don't get it like. You have to live in it. You've set up the reality where you're doing corporate espionage. Why is that gone all of a sudden for the rest of the movie?
Speaker 1:so he's like okay, we, we gotta do this. We do this little sardine thing where it's rotten and everyone throws up and calling gooey's.
Speaker 2:Really weird I didn't get it.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's nothing to get because it's not a joke um all right and then so now, now it gets so jerry he's like, well, we need to get Stan back because things worked when we had Stan. And he's like, oh, not Stan, you can't work with her. And then he's like, oh yeah, of course I can work with her because we have this veto system, which is a thing they do kind of once and we never hear about it again and they never have any trouble working together.
Speaker 2:They have no issues. They have their best friends, they see each other, they work together wonderfully. They're best friends for the whole movie. Why even just be like, yeah, she left for a better job and we don't know if we can get her back and we have to woo her back or something? Why set up this weird relationship where you can't work together? And a system the veto system that we see one time Just don't use, and it's also not funny.
Speaker 2:Like it's not used as a joke. What is the? Oh God? This movie is so frustrating, dan.
Speaker 1:And then Ansel says our company's on the verge of collapse, Is it?
Speaker 2:Nope. Well, how could it be? I don't understand you. Just, you're doing great you're great, nailed it.
Speaker 1:So he goes to get stan. She's at cape cranaveral. Um, we do some bits with the, some alien things which you don't even think about them, dan, I have.
Speaker 2:I have a question for you. No, no, it's not about I could ask you a lot of questions about that scene. This is about real world.
Speaker 1:We did land on the moon.
Speaker 2:It's real okay, that is. That is part of what I'm asking when, when was that and when was this movie?
Speaker 2:this is before the moon landing yeah, I think we landed on the moon in 69 because I watched it when I was a kid okay, alright, because they're making jokes about like, oh, we'll never get to the moon, and I'm I wasn't sure if they're just making a joke because we do get to the moon or if they're making this, we got to the moon no, no, I know that damn. I'm saying I don't understand the jokes of the movie with these aliens, and then them. And then they make the joke where they're like we'll never get to the moon. Are they saying we faked the moon landing?
Speaker 1:Because that's what I was trying to understand. That was a fake moon landing thing.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's what I thought I don't?
Speaker 1:So Stan is squishing Twinkies, and then she's squishing Twinkies in a, and then she holds up a finished product of Twinkies in a tube like toothpaste Sounds delicious to me.
Speaker 2:I'm just like that's what I'm saying, like I'm into it. I would honestly just suck that tube right down, dun and dun. It's delicious.
Speaker 1:And how does Bob arrive at the place?
Speaker 2:Which one's Bob, that's Jerry. Seerry seinfeld that's jerry seinfeld. He's in a like a moon landing car he rolls up in the moon rover rover, that's the word, the rover. Yeah, because, well, because it's fake, right, the whole moon landing. I don't know man, I, I don't get it, I don't get it. So, boom, she's there, it so boom she's there making a liquid.
Speaker 1:She's like, try this. And he drinks it. And he's like, oh, that's got a Tang to it. She's like that's a good name because it's Tang. Now, did you know that Tang was made up for the moon landing?
Speaker 2:Oh wait, no See, now, I didn't know this part. No see, now, I didn't know this part. I just got, I understood the ref, the light, the top level reference, not the fact that you're saying it was so. It was made for the moon landing there are two things that they made.
Speaker 1:they made tang, which was, you know, an orange drink, and then they also made space food sticks, which were little food sticks and packages that you could eat. Oh okay, I didn't figure out a way to get that in there. So so her who's making up this food, somehow she thinks she's going to be part of the program and go to the moon.
Speaker 2:I guess they sort of say that they sort of touch on it. It doesn't nothing that happens in this scene makes any sense.
Speaker 1:And so then he's like no, they're never going to let you go, Come with me. And she's like I guess I'm just going to go with you. Whatever, my big dream that I just said was my big dream.
Speaker 2:But you said let's go Now, I'm going and we don't work well together and we hate each other. But yeah, I'll just quit my dream job and come on down for you.
Speaker 1:Now Marjorie Post. They're testing their Pop-Tarts. The two kids from the dumpster are there, okay.
Speaker 2:Because these are the only two kids that like these fruits. By the way, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:They set fire to the toaster. There's petroleum in it.
Speaker 2:So hold on. This is this should be the most relatable joke in the whole movie. Okay, burning your Pop-Tarts? Sure, because, oh my God, every time, right, like it doesn't matter how many times I move that stupid fucking dial, I always burn at least one of them. And I don't understand it. I don't know what's going on, but you set it on fire, like this should be the easiest joke to make. Everyone has burnt a Pop-Tart. So then you just, you know, you put it over the top, that's great. And then they're like oh, there's petroleum, that's funny. But then they do this weird joke where he like puts a thing in there and he gets electrocuted or something Like what the hell's happening in this seat? You have a very simple joke that you can make here and everyone will understand it, and you just butcher it. It's so weird.
Speaker 1:So, boom, we go to the lab. It's a big empty lab where they're going to do the whole thing, as opposed to the lab that they had. Who knows? We talk about the veto system and we do a little thing that does nothing. Edsel comes in and then we learn that he's sweet on Marjorie Post, and then you're like, oh, that's what that whole relationship should be about. It should end up with them having sex. No, when we get to that scene, it's beyond painful.
Speaker 2:Well listen, dan, because you have two people that can't act for shit. You know what I've decided. You're wrong about Gaffigan. He can't act. There's too much evidence to the contrary right in front of me. I can't remember anything else that's happened.
Speaker 1:I'm going to look it up because there's something I saw that I liked. I don't find him funny.
Speaker 2:Of course. Yeah, we're not arguing that because that's a given. He's not funny, so I. So here's where I get confused, right, I don't understand why they have a relationship. Who, for the movie purposes, post and kellogg the head?
Speaker 2:they're hot for each other, right like I don't. I don't get how that serves your movie at all, unless when they were talking about, oh, they must have a man on the inside. It shouldn't just be them like accidentally sharing stuff because they're in love or something like that's how it got it. What is the point of them being attracted to each other because then you have like a weird? Scene where they they get have sex sure you get a scene, then that was clearly someone's idea right but it doesn't affect anything else that happens in the movie well, you need to.
Speaker 1:Well, it doesn't? No, but I mean, if you're writing a real movie, you you'd write some stuff in there about it that's what I'm saying. Yes, I'm not gonna let her do this. I may love her and lust after her Exactly.
Speaker 2:I'm never, I'll never, but they don't do that. So what's the point in this movie? For them being together?
Speaker 1:Because there's no point in this movie for anything, because nobody's. It's all like first thoughts and in a lot of cases, zero thoughts.
Speaker 2:Well, I will say, the other thing I liked is James Marston.
Speaker 1:That's what I was saying, Jack the Lame.
Speaker 2:Okay, couldn't remember who that was.
Speaker 1:When you said that.
Speaker 2:I was like that means nothing to me, oh, of course. I'm going to need real people names, because these character names mean nothing to me.
Speaker 1:Just say, tony, we only have about five more pages to go.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, we have only gone through two of my notes, so we're halfway through my notes.
Speaker 1:You were halfway through, okay, so then they go down to eat some cereal to Bond. We have, like you know, he hired this guy that shot all the coffee scenes, and so we have sort of sexy scenes of the things Looks good, and then they're like Jerry's like eating and drinking at the same time. That's why this is perfect. We need to recreate this. That's what he says.
Speaker 1:We need to recreate this, but you don't a pop tart is not that it's not eating and drinking it's not drinking at all then you maybe say we need to recreate this, but where you're both having you know this and a sweet thing and a biscuit, that's what it, that's what our thingamajigger is. It's about two things that come together, you know, give us a fucking speech.
Speaker 2:Also and this is just me I wanted the cereals that they each choose to say something about the character, and I didn't feel like they did, cause they're not characters.
Speaker 1:Okay, now we're doing. Now we call up the taste pilots, which are these one, two, three, four, five, six, six people slash things that are going to work to make them do this. Tom Carvell, the ice cream guy. Steve Schwinn, that did Schwinn Bikes. Harold Vaughn, something something who did the Sea Monkeys, chef Boyardee, jack LaLanne, played by James Marsden, who's the original fitness guy.
Speaker 2:He's the original fitness guy. I honestly didn't know who he was and it didn't matter to me because I was just enjoying Marsden having a good time. Yeah, he had a good time. He had a great time, and God, that guy looks good still. Yeah, why is he not in more movies? Let hollywood hire him more. Sonic was so good. The most charismatic guy in this whole movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, easily, easily, easily and the univac computer von brunhoff, the guy that made sea monkeys as a nazi. Um, no one, no one knows this, except maybe 20 or 30 collectors and weird people. I know the number one sea monkeys collector in the country, and I've known him forever, and so I knew this just a little bit barely. So could you look it up online? Sure, but no one in the world knows this information, so it means nothing, okay.
Speaker 2:It means nothing and it's really weird. Like it's really off-putting. They make two or three nazi jokes and I was like, wow, what's happening?
Speaker 1:I don't understand.
Speaker 2:I don't understand okay, I should have looked it up, but I I cared so little about this movie at this point that I wasn't gonna. You can't make a reference joke about something that nobody knows it you just can't do it.
Speaker 1:It doesn't work. It is a very specific, yeah, tiny world joke that you found on wikipedia and you're like isn't that funny? The guy that made sea monkeys was a nazi or whatever you know yeah, it had some sort of you know, fascist, left-leaning opinions.
Speaker 2:Sure yeah.
Speaker 1:Weird.
Speaker 2:Super weird.
Speaker 1:Bobby Moynihan as Chef Boyardee wasted.
Speaker 2:It was totally wasted, because I do love a nice. This guy doesn't speak English and he just yells in fake Italian. It had to have been fake, I'm assuming. I don't think he was speaking real Italian and I liked that bit. I would have liked more of that bit.
Speaker 1:I found it Steve Schwinn's, played by the what's his name, who's very funny. Yeah, the Tom Carvell guy also very funny.
Speaker 2:Man.
Speaker 1:The milkmen arrive, edsel gets scared of them. We find out that the milkmen are a syndicate.
Speaker 2:This should have been the plot of the movie yes, how is this just a like a 10 minute detour in your movie and then you like don't deal with it. It's so weird, it's such a big, it's a big, wonderful idea to have the milk syndicate like that's fun, that's really fun.
Speaker 1:Other opposed to the rest of the movie, that's not fun so, basically, big Milk is angry that they're trying to develop a product that doesn't need them. I'm like a breakfast product and that's the movie. That's actually your movie.
Speaker 2:That's like a really good idea. You can make a lot of comparisons to like Big Oil and things. You know what I mean. Like you can make that matter not only to your movie but also to us. Now there's a lot of great stuff you can do instead of just being like, oh, you know what would be funny If there was a milk syndicate? And they're like, wow, yeah, but we have so many other things to get to, and it's like, yeah, yeah, just mention it a couple times and then we'll be done with it.
Speaker 1:Nope, we cut back. We do some stuff with the UNIVAC. We do some. I didn't like the Univac stuff. I didn't ever think that was funny, didn't land funny? There's one Univac joke I liked.
Speaker 2:I'll talk about it. Tell us about it when we get there.
Speaker 1:We go back over to post they do a couple times where Things are causing butt rashes as if it's a joke. It's weird Butt rashes.
Speaker 2:It is weird and they mention it in two scenes. I think it is. It's just weird.
Speaker 1:There are a couple of names for the things fresh flatties and dextrose dillies no, yeah, I didn't.
Speaker 2:I don't even know what full disclosure. I don't even understand what dextrose dillies means. Dextrose is sure, it's just okay. See, didn't even know that word. That's on me, I guess, guys no, it's not on you.
Speaker 1:What's a dilly uh, dilly dally?
Speaker 2:that doesn't like a dilly bar that's from dairy queen. Oh god, I love that doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 1:I've never had one. All right um. And she shoots max in the eye with a rubber band with some reason.
Speaker 2:Why is that what? I don't know. Okay, great, this is really nice.
Speaker 1:Thoreau comes into where they're doing the thing, he says I've been promised a space that I can put on Lear. Nope, we never heard that before. No, it's like let me come in with information that you should have known. You know it's like. Let me come in with information that you should have known. You know it's like they needed to set this up like yep, oh, he's gonna need that for lear, oh, he's never gonna want to do it. Then he comes in for lear and then something happens.
Speaker 2:Something happens yeah, or just don't do this, because this bit didn't work at all that bit didn't work.
Speaker 1:But then then, uh, the two of them, stan and uh, thorough clash and they start joking on each other.
Speaker 2:And I thought the jokes were okay yeah, no, like their name calling was nice and something about patchy mustache. Then he throws it back same with her, like it was, because it was just, you know, two people insulting each other. Always, always fun If you do it well.
Speaker 1:Oh God, now the five serial families meet. I didn't, and this is just like weird. They just all sort of yell at each other because they're both working on the same sort of thing.
Speaker 2:Well, but also Dan, the five serial families, and then also Jerry Seinfeld right yeah, he's not the leader of the family, what's he even?
Speaker 1:doing in the room? Yeah, but I think what's her name? Has her assistant there. Max is there too was he?
Speaker 2:he might have been oh and Stan is there too. Oh, and Stan is there. Yeah, so it's like the five families, but three of the families don't get any members. They have no family members.
Speaker 1:Ernie Keebler provided the cookies. Yeah, and then Ernie's in the background waving in the shadows, and is it a joke?
Speaker 2:because he's little. Is that the joke?
Speaker 1:I don't know either, and so Jerry's character's like my legacy, my sod. No one laughs because it's not a joke.
Speaker 2:Also, why are you talking at a meeting of the five families?
Speaker 1:You're not ahead of a family so they go and their big plan is they're gonna lock up all of the cuban sugar. So they go to the big sugar guy, el sucre. He's dangerous, he talks about tile, he likes entertainment. A ventriloquist what's his name comes out and does a fraction of a ventriloquist thing where he makes fun of the tile. So they take him out there and they shoot the dummy and then they're like we want to buy all the sugar. And then he's like, okay.
Speaker 1:And then thanks we bought all the sugar. Now we leave.
Speaker 2:Why? What the hell just happened.
Speaker 1:The whole movie is trying to set up parallels between this and other things that happened at the time right sure so this is trying to set up the cuban missile crisis, and then the way that they, the way that they do everything is supposed to be like the space program, right? So the taste guys is like how they, you know or no, actually that might be like the nuclear bomb program. I don't know they, you know. Just like how they, you know or no, actually that might be like the nuclear bomb program, I don't know they, you know, just like how they did everything back then. That's, they're all supposed to be parallels to those things, as opposed to them being funny or interesting and tweaked in such a way where you're like why do you have the schwinn guy here?
Speaker 2:it's just weird, yeah, yeah, none of it made any sense, I don't know, I mean, except for Chef Boyardee, who is a food maker, and it makes sense to have a chef on there.
Speaker 1:But you also want the Sea Monkeys guy Because he's Nazi affiliated, and then you can make Nazi jokes in a weird movie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's great, let's do that.
Speaker 1:Post can't make anything Because they don't have sugar anymore. We do butt rashes again.
Speaker 2:Which is weird because it doesn't have anything to do with not having sugar, right Then?
Speaker 1:she hits Max with a typewriter.
Speaker 2:Something, yeah, big typewriter hits him with a typewriter.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, okay. Week four the taste pilots. They're all working on shit. It doesn't make any sense. The chef, yrd, and the sea monkey guy have made a ravioli that lives in a aquarium.
Speaker 2:Yep, Yep, I don't get it For a movie that drops a lot of stuff. They keep that little ravioli around until the very end and I don't get it.
Speaker 1:They love the ravioli. It doesn't go anywhere. Then he's like, ah, this isn't working, so he throws all the stuff out and then he goes to the dumpster. There, the kids, they've invented Rice Krispie Treats. They put together heated marshmallows which I think you find in dumpsters.
Speaker 2:That's a good question there.
Speaker 1:So they made up Rice Krispie Treats which have been around since the 50s. But whatever.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone. You're saying it was invented before this movie took place. Oh my God. Also, they are so good though, those I love Rice Krispie Treats, dan.
Speaker 1:You know, that's when I moved into adulthood.
Speaker 2:When you ate a Rice Krispie Treat.
Speaker 1:No, when you're home in your house and you, I don't know, maybe I was at my parents, maybe I was still living at home with my parents, but I made a whole pan of Rice Krispie Treats and then I ate a whole pan of Rice Krispie Treats.
Speaker 2:I'm proud of you by myself. Yeah, good for you, damn good self.
Speaker 1:That's when you know you're an adult.
Speaker 2:Oh God, I love it. I love it. Do you ever do the Rice Krispie Treats with a layer of chocolate on top?
Speaker 1:Not typically because you can't improve. I don't think you can improve on Rice Krispie Treats. I don't Okay.
Speaker 2:I can understand that notion, but just bear with me for a minute, though, because then you have a Rice Krispie Treat, and then you put a nice layer of melted milk chocolate on top, and then it solidifies and you've got two different textures. Oh my God, it's so good.
Speaker 1:The key to making Rice Krispie Treats is put in extra. Use butter first of all, and use extra butter extra butter.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it makes them like smoother. Probably that's what it sounds like. Oh man, now I'm hungry. We got to wrap this episode up. I'm getting I'm getting hungry.
Speaker 1:We only have about an hour to go. Um, so then, because the kids have combined two things to make a thing, he's like, oh, just combine everything, and so it's going to be self-sealing it's going to have a name, it's going to be, it's going to be self-sealing. It's going to have a name, it's going to be. It's going to be the size of a.
Speaker 1:It's going to have holes in it because of the punch card of univac and then, schwinn means toaster, and then they've, they've solved it yeah this is the solving of it, which is not how you solve a product, but he just well also they would have had to reverse engineer that and they could have made it make more sense it's like the problem of the pop, whatever. This is so stupid. Um, they have a twist, they do, they do the twist and they all do a twist party. And then ravioli he refers to it as now it's a real boy, and then it escapes and it goes into the walls.
Speaker 2:What it's in the walls.
Speaker 1:Did you expect it to grow?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it has to grow, right, it has to mutate and grow, and then they have to fight it at the end somehow right, yeah, but nope, yeah, it's just in his pocket. I don't understand.
Speaker 1:Post goes to Russia, sees Nikita Khrushchev, pitches him on like Borscht loops and Kremlin things and Count Vodkula, and then it becomes a deal and he has to, Max has to eat some of the stuff and it's poison, it's going to kill him. For what? Reason I don't understand he's bleeding from the nose and then he wants to have sex with Marjorie Post, but they still get it and he doesn't have sex with her. He was going to have sex with Max, but none of that happens, because it doesn't make any sense, but none of that happens, because it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a pretty wild scene. I don't get it.
Speaker 1:So they're going to get sugar from Cuba. So that's whatever, russia, cuba.
Speaker 2:Wait, cuba, cuba's the old one?
Speaker 1:Oh no, they didn't go to Cuba. Who did they go to they?
Speaker 2:went to Russia, oh no they didn't go to Cuba.
Speaker 1:Who did they go to? They went to Russia. No, no, no. Who did?
Speaker 2:the other guys go to. Where did Keller go? Yeah, the heroes went to Cuba, right, I think?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you had it right the first time. Well, how are they getting? But where's the sugar coming from from Russia? I thought it was coming from Cuba. Isn't sugar coming from from russia, I thought?
Speaker 2:it was coming from cuba, isn't el sucre?
Speaker 1:I don't know I'm confused. Now whatever, I'm not gonna talk about it anymore. Uh boom, the milkman. The milkman kidnapped bob. They say there's no cereal business without us. And we're like we kind of expected all this. Didn't? We already sort of know things were coming down? So basically they're like there's no cereal business without us. We're gonna punish you by making you walk down the aisle where the cows are and the cows fart on him. So he gets farted on by the cows and, I assume, pissed on and shit on.
Speaker 1:So he gets home and he can't wash it off. Can't wash it off but then it's washed off. Well, no, then they. They come to stew and Edsel come to see him, and then they're like I didn't, I didn't pay Edsel's, like I didn't pay for the sugar fast enough, so they gave me diabetes. Here's a brochure about diabetes.
Speaker 2:What what I need you to explain it Dan Cause I I don't. I didn't understand that one bit. Okay, then he's all like it's not how diabetes works.
Speaker 1:Well, what? What's the brochure and what is? I don't understand? Um, okay, and then he's like no one cares about a stupid breakfast rectangle. Here comes the copter. It's from the president. Jerry Seinfeld's not allowed to change, so they go to the president. Then they're waiting there and then he comes in and he's wearing Taff's old suit because that's all they had. And there's, okay, this is the joke you have to explain to me. Uh-oh, got Taff's suit. They pull it out. There's a baby Ruth bar, a half-eaten baby Ruth bar, in the pocket, and then I think he's going to eat it. And then Melissa McCarthy's character says chew it slowly. That's history.
Speaker 2:I don't know, that sounds like a joke that you need to explain to me, being that you were around when Taft was president.
Speaker 1:Wah, wah, wah, wah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, then I don't know, did he famously eat half candy bars?
Speaker 1:Why do you have to chew it slowly? Because it's historic. Did he choke?
Speaker 2:How did he die? Maybe he died on a baby Ruth, Maybe he choked and died. And that's the other half of his baby Ruth. Oh, maybe it is Maybe that's the idea.
Speaker 1:Maybe he choked to death, maybe mama cast it, and so you have to eat slowly, because history tells us you got to eat slowly or you'll die.
Speaker 2:It doesn't say. It just says he died of poor health. I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1:So in comes Bill Burris Kennedy. He's great Kennedy, he's hilarious. Um, basically all the lines he's given are mostly garbage. Post is working with the Ruskies, you have to win. And so the idea is, since they're working with the communists, the Kellogg's thing has to win. And then they do a you know, ask not what I can do for you, you can do for me whatever. And so then they're like can you have Bobby Kennedy go after the milk guys, go after organized milk? And he's like okay, we'll do it. So that's how they're dealing with, that's how the milk plot line could just completely go away. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which is dumb, I guess. So my question is that, like, how he did things? Did like Bobby, kill people. No, Bobby Kennedy was the head, was the attorney general and so it definitely was some weird stuff, because the mob got Kennedy elected. Oh, really, sure. Is that a conspiracy theory or is that a real thing? Wow, okay, listen, history is not my thing, right? So this was not a great movie for me to watch because they don't do a good job of explaining what they're making fun of. But, okay, interesting stuff.
Speaker 1:This movie is the thing that proves that my thing is not always right. My thing was like you can make jokes about anything and people will get them, but the jokes have to be jokes and they have to be funny yes, well, like, in order to work contextually, I have to at least understand what you're going for.
Speaker 1:So, you understood the idea of the organized milk. You understood that because it's a real joke and it's a good joke that bobby kennedy. You just don't know that bobby kennedy did go after organized crime at the time exactly, and and that's not necessary for you to think that that's funny.
Speaker 2:It's not necessary for everything, except for that one part of the joke and it's like, okay, I mean I'm not going to get that, other people will get that, that's fine, that's okay, because I get the general joke of it, yep.
Speaker 1:You know, because it's a good joke, the idea that he's getting the attorney general to go after organized milk.
Speaker 2:Right, and that is a way the president will help you lessen that burden. Again, that should just be the main plot of the movie, but that's cool man. So then what breaks up their meeting with Kennedy? I have no idea. The Double Mint twins are here to see you. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Whoa.
Speaker 2:What does that mean?
Speaker 1:Well, you know, double your pleasure double your fun.
Speaker 2:Why are the Doublemint twins going to the president? Well, was he like a serial cheater?
Speaker 1:Yeah he was.
Speaker 2:All right. So I mean, I guess maybe that's the. It's just, that's just weird, it's super weird, it's super weird. Um, I guess, were they a real was, were the twins like a real thing?
Speaker 1:I think it was a commercial.
Speaker 2:Thing, it was for commercials okay, okay, yeah, I don't, because they're wearing like the outfit, like the spearmint outfits. I don don't know. It's super weird.
Speaker 1:JFK had sex with Marilyn Monroe.
Speaker 2:I do, yeah, no, I do remember hearing that. Okay, well done.
Speaker 1:Thurl's at a bar drowning his sorrows. The Milkmen came in there and sort of turned Thurl against.
Speaker 2:Kellogg's even more Okay. Good old Christian Slater.
Speaker 1:Cronkite does an x-ray specs bit. We have this weird bunker test where they're testing one and it goes well, but then Steve Schwinn pulls out his hose, which has flammable gas, and then we blow up Steve Schwinn. Yeah, so we kill Steve Schwinn.
Speaker 2:Why.
Speaker 1:Why? I mean, there was a thing in the Apollo program where some guys burned up to death in their rocket, I think. Okay, that's a fun thing to make fun of. Maybe that's the allusion to them burning up some astronauts, because he was dressed as an astronaut. So, yeah, I guess it's about burning some astronauts to death.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know if I think that's a funny joke.
Speaker 1:It wasn't funny, but at least it's the best scene of the whole movie.
Speaker 2:Is that Ronnie Chang? No, no, it's not Ronnie Chang. Okay, because I do like when Ronnie Chang comes out and they think it's Steve at first, and then he's like oh no, it's me, he. He died horribly. I don't. So, whatever he says, that was funny to me.
Speaker 1:his one line he got to deliver as a joke and it was a joke yeah, well, he's very funny.
Speaker 2:I like him a lot okay, you want to talk about the funeral, the greatest scene in the movie oh, this is your greatest scene in the movie, huh, okay, uh, I mean, I don't remember a whole lot other than, oh, no, I did laugh oh, you're laughing, hold on, I did.
Speaker 1:I did laugh at this scene I did laugh at this scene.
Speaker 2:I'm just remembering it now, so I don't remember anything. That happens before they start the service burial, where they start pouring the milk and the cereal.
Speaker 1:I'll do the whole.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you set it up and I'll get to that snap crackling pop, play bagpipes. Right, because they're Scottish.
Speaker 1:I don't know. The Quaker guy does. The Quaker guy starts the eulogy. Tony the Tiger does. Steve was great Right. Oh, so Steve Schwinn gets full serial honors, full honors, full honors for honors. And then someone says what is happening? That's his wife. His wife says what is this happening? And then she turns to Jerry and she's like did you plan this? And what does he say? I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know, this did make me giggle.
Speaker 1:I hate that.
Speaker 2:You should hate it because it doesn't make any sense and has no business in any movie ever. But the fact that I don't even know, like I assume he just didn't write. He was like I don't, I don't know why we're doing this, and that was what his answer was to her. In my mind, jerry Seinfeld's like I don't know, this seems really crazy. Was to her, in my mind, jerry seinfeld's like I don't know, this seems really crazy. There's no way to explain it. So it'll be funny if someone asks me about it and I'm like I don't know he's doing this yeah uh, toucan sam comes out singing all by maria.
Speaker 1:Then they start pouring milk and corn flakes into the thing and people are cutting fruit into the that's what made me laugh.
Speaker 2:so they do, they do cereal, then they do milk and then they cut to a woman sobbing, cutting up a banana and putting it. That part made me laugh. I was like, yeah, that's attention to detail, because people cut up fruit, put it in their cereal. That's funny.
Speaker 1:Now they come out with a Cracker Jack prize package. Which they're acting like is a flag which they fold up and they give it to her and then she leaves. And they hold up and they give it to her and then she leaves and they're like she's upset and then miss mccarthy's like she'll get over it or not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she'll get over it or she won't and she'll live with the loss or something like I was like okay, what?
Speaker 1:so the mascots meet, they say they're yeah, and then we're done and then we just move on, whatever. The mascots meet and they're like they're phasing us out. We got to go on strike. Okay, we do a whole thing. Then they drive into town and they see people watching a TV. They get out and then we talk about the Cuban Missile Crisis in terms of the sugar, whatever. Yeah, and then Ed Slint posts meat and they the release the sugar, and then they're dancing the twist, they're getting along, and then the ravioli breaks it up.
Speaker 2:First of all, jim gaffigan can't do the twist whatever. He can't the whole. So here's what's weird, and maybe this was the joke then and I just didn't understand it. But earlier in the movie, when they do the twist party, somebody is talking about how the twist is like the ultimate act of sexual desire for a woman because the independent movement of your hips and shoulders they move in opposite directions. Apparently that's very sexy, right. But then jim gaffigan can't do that and his shoulders and hips are going the same direction for the whole scene. So I just don't think he's got the lumbar flexibility to do it. So either they're doing that as a joke or they set him up for failure, which to me is even funnier. But it's just really weird because it's your movie, but it's just really weird because it's your movie.
Speaker 1:See, the thing I like is that you think that someone could say Jim Gaffigan do the twist correctly, or Jim Gaffigan do the twist incorrectly, as opposed to Jim Gaffigan, just do something.
Speaker 2:Just dance a little. Just dance a little. Super weird, yeah. And then the ravioli is there. I don't know man Bust it up.
Speaker 1:Boom, now we do the Mad Men thing. The two guys from Mad Men come in there and they pitch them on this adult version of Pop-Tarts Very sexy.
Speaker 2:I would have bought Pop-Tarts all over the place.
Speaker 1:And the one guy's like I've been in your town six hours and what do I see? Dead trees and sad women. Yep.
Speaker 2:We haven't seen any of those I've never watched mad men. Maybe that's a big callback to that show, but that's not funny I I watched it when it aired and that doesn't ring any bells like them being hypersexual, yeah, and aggressive sure I like that right um, yeah, no, I don't, um, I don't know. Plus, we don't see that at all, because everything we see is very colorful, very green, everything is alive.
Speaker 1:I don't know and then jerry's like why, why are we, why are they so mean to us? And I'm like, were they that mean to them? I don't know no, they weren't.
Speaker 2:they could have, they should have been, but they weren't they should have been, but they weren't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then Melissa and what's his name, do a little bit of sparring. Yeah, have a moment, and you're like oh wow, melissa McCarthy got to be funny for just seconds and then it disappears.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and again, it's probably the writing. That's fine. It just happens to be good, but it seems to me whenever she has scenes with people that can really act, she's better. Yeah Right, I don't know. I don't know. Is that a coincidence?
Speaker 1:I don't think so, and through the whole movie she puts all the food that's left around in her pockets. That was her character, yeah.
Speaker 2:Which I thought was going to somehow come back where they needed something. She's like I've got some right now, but it doesn't, or. It would have been great at some point if she just pulled out Pringles out of her purse. Right, dan, that's a Ghostbusters callback. You don't remember that she pulls out Pringles? You think I'm ever?
Speaker 1:going to forget that stupid joke she eats the Pringles.
Speaker 2:That's a funny joke. But that wasn't Well sure. I mean, it was yeah, yeah, but it's still, he's not going to steal a joke that didn't work from another movie. First of all, that joke nailed it Home run. That's a grand slam, even the joke kills every time.
Speaker 1:Okay, so they bring the two kids back in because they've got to name the product. And what is the kid's first question? We need to know the pectin content. Why would a kid ask what?
Speaker 2:the pectin content is. Well, I don't know the answer to that, because I don't know what pectin is.
Speaker 1:It's like something in fruit.
Speaker 2:Part of me feels like I have to read the Pop-Tarts ingredients list to even understand some of the jokes they're making.
Speaker 1:That's the idea. They have the box sitting there and they're like Pectin Condon.
Speaker 2:Here comes the joke. Here's one. Let's put that in there. It's not a joke.
Speaker 1:It's a reference and they consider a reference to be equal to a reference equals joke.
Speaker 2:Yeah, although this is the other part of the movie that I laughed at.
Speaker 1:Yeah, although this is the other part of the movie that I laughed at, so I'm excited. The kid goes over to the butt massager. He gets a candy necklace caught in it and then they save him. Then he's blurring. He looks up at the thing and he's like the first letters of all the things on this thing. That's what it's called, and the name they come up with is Trap Pop, and they're all like I like it. It's like a code name. This is a good name Trat Pop.
Speaker 2:No one would ever think that's a good name.
Speaker 1:Wait, you said you liked something about this.
Speaker 2:At some point. I thought this was the scene where the kid gets upset and he's like why are you yelling at me, like my dad? Which is the best line of the whole movie.
Speaker 1:There it is, did not write it down, all right. Well, there it is, did not write it down.
Speaker 2:All right, well, there you go.
Speaker 1:They do a Trap Pop commercial. The commercial was pretty good and actually sold the stupid name pretty well. Here the FDA representative is coming. They fired the mascot and now the mascots are protesting. This is one of the most painful things in the movie. We do a whole January 6th thing with him as the shaman and we get this one joke where he's like they called us felt hobos. What does that?
Speaker 2:mean, it means nothing and they didn't say it.
Speaker 1:So the FDA, the person, the.
Speaker 2:FDA. Guy Puntz, played by Fred Armisen, is coming there to give it FDA approval, which is just a taste test.
Speaker 1:That's what they make it seem like.
Speaker 2:It's a taste test, which I don't think is quite. I don't think that's how it works. To be honest, that's not what FDA approval is, nope.
Speaker 1:Not what FDA approval is. It's not a guy that doesn't come to your office and taste them and go. Yep, that works.
Speaker 2:Pretty good, let's sell it.
Speaker 1:They attack, but Jerry Seinfeld forces the rubber stamp, and so they get to the room Right, which is also weird, and they're like, well, we didn't beat the federal approval, so we lose.
Speaker 1:We lose Yep. And then they just leave Cronkite there for his final thing talks about the ride at Kellogg's. He's using silly putty, he puts it on the thing and it flips Trap Pop and turns it into Pop Tart. And that's where the name come from, because they hear him say that and they're all like that's not a good name. And then the secretary is like that's a good name. And then they're like that's a good name.
Speaker 2:That is a good name.
Speaker 1:And then they're like but it is too close to Andy Warhol's pop art, which supposedly they did.
Speaker 2:That was one of the reasons that they used that.
Speaker 1:Okay, but they're like whatever. So then the trucks go out and we have the General Mills product which is called Country Squares, which I guess they did release a product called Country.
Speaker 2:Squares. Is that okay? Yeah, I have no idea this is news to me.
Speaker 1:And then Pop-Tarts, and then Pop-Tarts did better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1:And the sales numbers come in and they're happy. And then Jim Gaffigan gets to say the great line we got to the moon, the breakfast moon.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what, what I don't know and then one of I don't know what it means.
Speaker 1:One of them says we could add frosting to them, because the first ones were just all plain and then they're both like nope, that's a bad idea yeah oh, so they're idiots yeah, so there's.
Speaker 2:So these. There's a couple of jokes that I mean I don't remember, but I remember noticing them. There's a couple of jokes about like the future, right. I love when, when shows and movies do that. I think that's very funny to look at things that they know will happen and pretend Galavant does that, which is a show that I love, and they talk about the zipper on pants because they're all urinating and it's hard back in the day and it's like what if we had something that had interlocking teeth and we could just take out? And they're like that's a terrible, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And it's funny, right. Like those can be very funny when you do it right. This is just weird. It just doesn't make any sense. I don't like. There's not even a reason for them not wanting. Why. How could frosting make anything worse? Please, somebody tell me a situation where frosting makes something worse.
Speaker 1:I'm going to tell you a thing. Oh boy, if you get a cupcake, that's Tell me a situation where frosting makes something worse.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm going to tell you a thing.
Speaker 1:Oh boy, If you get a cupcake that's about this big, and then there's this much frosting on it?
Speaker 2:no, that's too much frosting. Dan, I'm going to call bullshit right now.
Speaker 1:Frosting the cupcake quotient should be about like this it should be so you want like a 50%.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, you want like a 50% ratio, 20 to 25 at the most. Oh, dan, you're making me sad. I like I love a nice heap. I want to bite into a cupcake and have frosting on the top of my nose. That's how much frosting I want my nose to bury in it and I have to blow my nose to get frosting out of it. That's how much I like frosting too much.
Speaker 1:Okay, now we do the epilogues for everybody. Chef Boyardee and the Sea Monkeys guy raise the ravioli. Yeah, what? Anybody's a rebellious teen. Univac goes to Vietnam. We get this one shot of Univac coming out of the swamp with the gun Swamp. I like that. I thought that was funny, that was funny to me, the Milkmen killed JFK. Marjorie Post went on to be a great person, and then she built Mar-a-Lago.
Speaker 2:Which apparently is true. It says that's true, it is true, so that's. I guess that's interesting, but they didn't make a joke about it?
Speaker 1:Well, no, the idea is Mar-a-Lago. That's a thing that we know what it is now because of Trump.
Speaker 2:Right, but that's not a joke, Dan.
Speaker 1:No, it's a joke because, reference equals joke.
Speaker 2:No, it's a joke. It's a joke.
Speaker 1:Stan goes hippie and makes up granola.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what, yeah, what Bob gets his sod. No, don't skate past, because she has a relative character, and this is not her character.
Speaker 1:And then Bob goes on. Johnny Carson, andy Warhol comes out of the audience, shoots Bob, but it doesn't get him because he had Pop-Tarts in his thing and they had a titanium metal package.
Speaker 2:Wrapper or something. Yeah, okay, tony, I love Dan Levy so much. That was not good.
Speaker 1:That's not a joke you can make. That is not a joke you can make. Do you know what the truth of that is?
Speaker 2:I don't know what the truth of that is. I don't know what the truth of that andy warhol when he was back in his factory days.
Speaker 1:one of the people that hung around there I can't think of her name, valerie, valerie, something, I think came in there and shot andy warhol and caused him a bunch of internal damage, shot him in in the side, I think, and caused him all sorts of issues and fucked up his life. And they made a joke about it, like, like, like what the fuck?
Speaker 2:Not only not only did they make a joke about it, but they made the joke. Andy's the one that's doing like. That's even weirder.
Speaker 1:He was he was someone attempted to assassinate him. Yeah, and he was someone attempted to assassinate him, yeah, and that's a joke, I mean in addition to the the milkman killed jfk joke. It's just like and this is like stupid ass jerry seinfeld doing this whole woke comedy. We can't make the jokes we need to make anymore. You're like you're making offensive jokes, that and they're not good. They're not either.
Speaker 2:I don't mind offensive jokes if they're done well, and I find, like you know, anthony Jeselnik is all about offensive jokes. Sure, and I love him, I think he's hilarious. Sure, you have to do it right. There's room to make offensive jokes.
Speaker 1:This is.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, this is just like it's not a joke.
Speaker 1:Well, first of all, it wasn't a joke.
Speaker 2:Yeah, eddie Warhol shot me because.
Speaker 1:I stole the pot, no.
Speaker 2:Whatever?
Speaker 1:Okay, boom. We go back to the kid in the diner. The parents show up and the kid is like I'm not believing your story. And we find out why he ran away from home is because mom wouldn't get him X-ray specs. Yeah, okay, and then the kid sees the ravioli in Jerry Seinfeld's pocket here, and that's how he knows it was all true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, terrible, terrible movie, dan, it is a terrible movie. Okay, because before you were like oh, it's okay, it's not, it's bad. I don't hate the movie, it's a terrible movie. Oh, I see, I see I'm disappointed because I think that there was a lot of room to be much, much, much better.
Speaker 1:You had access to every great comedian in the world, and this is what you made.
Speaker 2:Yeah, access to every great comedian in the world and this is what you made. Yeah, bad stuff, tough, tough stuff.
Speaker 1:Make some jokes. Find some real jokes.
Speaker 2:Pass.
Speaker 1:Tratpop Next Tratpop. Yes, that's a great name. That means you're not good at your job.
Speaker 2:It's not a good name.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, amen to that.
Speaker 1:Tony, yes, name, it doesn't mean anything. Yeah, amen to that, tony. Yes, you should like and subscribe to this video oh, I will, I promise you I'll like and subscribe to your channel um, uh, what'd you like?
Speaker 2:this week. Uh well, I watched two things I'd like to talk about. First is the thing that I did like we watched Taika Waititi's movie Next Goal Wins. Oh, how is it With Michael Fassbender? We loved it. We thought it was super fun.
Speaker 1:Everybody hates that movie.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, it was pretty fun, it's hateable and it gets emotional, which you don't really see coming, you know, as much. But yeah, we really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:It's your classic sports, whatever kind of movie. So I would hope it gets emotional.
Speaker 2:Well, sure, sure, sure, those movies are great.
Speaker 1:That's a tried and tested true thing. And everyone hated him for making that movie. And you're just like why? I don't know, because I thought it was quite delightful, I think they were expecting it to be some other movie as opposed to one of those movies. And you're like yes the man has made brilliant movies, but it didn't seem like that was going to be like the he wasn't breaking filmmaking and putting it back together with that movie.
Speaker 2:No, just making a nice sports movie and there's a couple of nice messages in there which probably garnered some hate as well.
Speaker 1:Some wonderful trans representation in there, which I'm sure got some backlash.
Speaker 2:It's nice, it's a really good movie. We enjoyed it a lot, okay. And then the other thing is I have started re-watching Seinfeld Because since we were doing this movie, I was like I'm going to go back and see if Seinfeld was any good, and it's not. I just don't really like sign. Oh, did you like it before? Um, I mean, I let me rephrase I don't hate the show. I think it's a fine show. I think there's very funny moments. I think the biggest problem with seinfeld is jerry seinfeld. He can't act, never could, never will. He's bad and he's. The one thing that saves seineld is he's surrounded by a wonderful cast Jason Alexander, they're all unbelievable, right? What's the Kramer's name? Michael something, or another.
Speaker 2:They're all really good. So he has people to lift him up around him, and in this movie he hired a bunch of people that can't act for shit for the rest of the main characters, or at least the way that it was all processed you didn't end up with acting. They needed to. Yeah, and that's the thing.
Speaker 1:It's like the director has to get that out of the people, and I'm sure they just came in there and were like I'm here for a day.
Speaker 2:Let's do it. He's like here's those lines you wrote there.
Speaker 1:Let's do it. He's like here's those lines you wrote there, I'm doing those lines. Line, line, line, line line. Oh great Cut You're good. Because he directed it, and it's like the director has to take equal amount of punishment for the lack of good performances, for sure, 100% Because. Christian Slater was in there acting and Dickledge was in there acting.
Speaker 2:And you were like, oh, they're acting, and dicklage was in their acting. And you were like, oh, they're acting, that's because they don't know percent and that because they walk on the set so hard, yeah, and you can feel the difference between it in the same movie, and that's what makes it so hard for me, um, but anyhow. So, yeah, I I don't dislike seinfeld, but I just I feel like what holds seinfeld back for me is jerry itself, and if they had hired an actor that could do comedy instead, I think the show would be much, much, much better.
Speaker 1:Well, he doesn't care, it's like it's, it's, it's kind of similar to what. What happens with um uh Sandler?
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, sandler gets into those movies.
Speaker 1:And he can, he can act, and he can act and he can do stuff. But when he doesn't care, he doesn't act and he doesn't do stuff.
Speaker 2:That is correct.
Speaker 1:And Jerry, I don't think has ever really cared and does not want to put any vulnerability or anything out there. That's real.
Speaker 2:Well, that's true.
Speaker 1:And that's what you get.
Speaker 2:That is what you get. Now. What do you got Dan?
Speaker 1:We watched this show called Woman of the Dead. What you get, what now? What do you got, dan? We watch this show called woman of the dead.
Speaker 2:Um, it's one of these scandinavian crime thriller, whatever, oh boy, okay and it goes places that you.
Speaker 1:You know it's like american. You know we're talking about it's like american shows. You're like, well, they're gonna worry about their family. You know they're gonna worry about their family over doing stuff. And she does stuff in this show and you're just like oh wow.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, yeah, what a treat so it's I don't know where.
Speaker 1:We watched it on Hulu or someplace Amazon Prime or something, but it's like six episodes and I think it was six episodes and uh, and the cool thing is is you're like based on a trilogy of books and they're working on the second one. Now you're like yeah, maybe you got one more.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, and it was, but you were saying that it's subtitled.
Speaker 1:It's subtitled and it you know, it's like people in the scandinavians have all these, they have all these scandinavian voices and things, and you're like, then we started another one that was dubbed and we literally turned it off of turned it off after like five lines of dialogue because it's just, it's just not the same it's not the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I get that the acting in the voices combined with the words is beyond important. You can't just have a person go like, knock, knock, we're the police, we're here to see what you're doing. It's just not. It's gone. You know you need. Contrary to popular belief, actors are important in movies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, they are.
Speaker 1:And it's going to be interesting to see when they make some of these AI movies and use. Well, they're coming, dan, so get ready, and they use AI actors and you're just like yeah, no, can't watch this.
Speaker 2:It's going to be bad. It's going to be just fucking horrible.
Speaker 1:So, tony, I think it's your turn to pick a movie, because, well, I guess I picked it, it didn't I?
Speaker 2:so of course it's your turn. You did, yeah, you picked unfrosted and we really lucked out, because do you know what dropped this week? No, it is ghostbusters frozen world, or whatever the fuck this movie is called. So yeah, so that dropped on a VOD this week, so that's what we get to watch.
Speaker 1:I absolutely did not know that that dropped Because you were like, oh, we got one for you.
Speaker 2:And I was like I have no idea, yeah, we got a good one Did they slip Craven in there, you know. Just straight the video for Craven. No, we get that later, though, and I can't wait, how long ago was this in? Theaters Like three weeks ago I mean not too long ago, right, but the year's going fast, dan, the year's going really fast. The year goes fast. But next week we get to watch Ghostbusters.
Speaker 1:Ah, ah Very excited we're gonna bust Ghostbusters, ghostbusters. So we did the first one of these. We've never done any other Ghostbusters, so we did the first one of these. Have we done? We've never done any other Ghostbusters, we never did.
Speaker 2:We did the Lady Ghostbusters which is a great movie, should never have been done on this podcast. And then we did Ghostbusters, afterlife. Sure Is that what the first one's called Frozen?
Speaker 1:Afterlife Frozen Afterbirth. Sorry, that's rude.
Speaker 2:And this was what Frozen Empire I think. So, yeah, we're doing it. It's great, it's great news.
Speaker 1:Franchise, franchise, franchise of my dreams. Amen Okay so we'll be back talking about Ghostbusters next week. You all have a good week, and we'll see you then. Goodbye, everybody.