Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching 6 Underground
Ever wonder why some films just don't quite hit the mark? Or how Michael Bay's unique directing style, a blend of chaos and spectacle, influences the stories he tells? Buckle in as we, your hosts Tony and Dan, dissect and delve into the whirlwind world of Bay's 2019 blockbuster, "Six Underground". From its over-the-top action scenes to its undercooked character development, we spare no detail in our critique.
As we journey into the fast-paced narrative of Six Underground, we also take a detour to the chaotic world of "The Hitman's Bodyguard" and its audacious car chase sequences. Our tour of the cinematic landscape further encompasses games and TV, with frank and insightful discussions about popular favorites. You'll be caught up in our analysis of Netflix's "Squid Game" and our scrutiny of mobile gaming strategies. We even make a pit stop to chat about the peculiar rules in the film, such as not revisiting cities that characters have set foot in before.
We're wrapping up with a hearty session of laughter! Join us as we navigate the comedy landscape, examining what makes us chuckle and what leaves us stone-faced. From the subjective views of a failed comedian to a successful comedy writer, we explore it all. So come along on this exhilarating ride into the world of film, comedy, and more. Trust us; you don't want to miss it!
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Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech
And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT
The good old LLMs Got a lot of them.
Speaker 2:I've been using it on eBay. You click the button and it just writes your description for you.
Speaker 1:And how's that working out? Sometimes it's really good you know, I mean I know that you don't pay attention to our podcast portion of the thing, but full disclosure. I also just let a. I write all of those Too lazy to actually put in a description and sometimes I read them and I feel like boy, I should really edit this. And I don't.
Speaker 2:Welcome to a watch it with that at, tony. I'm Dan. I'm Tony each week we convene to talk about a movie. This week we're talking about a movie that I picked. Six underground six underground. Michael Bay banger a. Bay joint 2019 two hours and eight minutes. Was it really only two hours and eight minutes? I thought it was longer than that.
Speaker 1:No, I think, because it came in shorter than the rock, which I double checked it.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I but it's it's. It's below two hours 16 minutes and it Not a lot of credits. So there was there's a lot, there's a lot, there's a lot here in this movie.
Speaker 1:Well, here's the thing is just, the theme of today will be excess. Every in every facet that you can possibly think of. Bay was like more. We need more, more, more, more, more more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we basically we start off as a voiceover and some garbage and then we cut, we get pretty quick into about 18 minute.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's right around the 20 minute mark.
Speaker 2:Yeah as it was going. I kept on clocking when we we started a new music cue. It probably had at least six or seven. Oh, beautiful you know, some of them songs, some of them just you know, rip off of some sort of rock riff. Yeah, some nice, some nice guitars but this movie, this movie is beyond terrible.
Speaker 1:Whoa, whoa, whoa. No strong disagree. Well, what do you mean by terrible? Because it's not a good Movie, but is it good entertainment almost.
Speaker 2:I mean I, I Understood. You know you're gonna go, it's expensive, they, they do things. They do things. It looks great, pretty big, it looks great, but when you really get down to it, they just like you know you get whiplash from the decisions they make at times that are not not just the decisions, also just the camera work.
Speaker 1:I there were multiple moments in the movie where I got physically dizzy, and that's that's never a good sign. I don't know. But here's what I'll say.
Speaker 2:There's what I'm gonna say this.
Speaker 1:Picture Dan, you should be. Picture Tony. Is there a story? Not really. Is their character development? Almost none. Is it fun? Yeah, pretty fun, you know me. So it depends on what if you, if you're in, if you're sitting out. If I went to the theaters in saw this, I'd be mad.
Speaker 2:I'll, just I'll say that I would not have enjoyed it in the theaters?
Speaker 1:No, but I'm at home. It's straight to Netflix. I'm chilling on my couch. I'm like I got a couple hours to kill what. Let's see what this does. It entertains me. For the most part it's not. It's still not great, but I did not. I did not hate this movie. I have no ill will towards this movie. I just I wish somebody had said hey, mike, just calm down, just chill out a little bit or had looked at it, looked at the entire script before they started shooting and said Maybe put put something.
Speaker 2:You know, I see you have this, this plot point that you're doing right here. Maybe Pre-sage that a little bit at the beginning of the movie so that when a thing happens you go oh Wow, this movie, this movie pays off nothing. That's, that's the point. I guess that's what I hated about this movie. It doesn't have anything.
Speaker 1:I disagree, and let me tell you why. Act one pays off act one. Act two Doesn't do anything. Act three sets up and pays off the plot of a film. I, I truly believe we have three movies here. Each act should be its own movie. Well, the first one is just 25 minutes in a car race. We don't, we don't know anybody, we don't know what's going on, but I'm having a good time. Act two is a team building movie that I do not need to see. I don't care. Just get me to act three, where there's actually some semblance of a plot and driving action.
Speaker 2:So you did not, it you didn't enjoy when we we tried to do the original meetings of the team and we tried to. We set up a roof Goldberg. If you move you get murdered Machine for the most time.
Speaker 1:What are you gonna say? For no reason.
Speaker 2:Dan, please. I.
Speaker 1:Didn't need. Here's the thing if, if their meeting is Meaningful and impactful and, will you know, lead to something in the third act, show me. That's fine, I'll deal with it. It's totally disjointed at nobody. None of their stories matter whatsoever to the movie. I don't even care for most of their stories. Say for one yeah, why is it in the movie? Let's make this a tight 85 and then maybe I won't be throwing up by the end of it. Maybe, maybe I can make it through 85 of this and I'll be fine.
Speaker 2:You know, I have to say this about it Although I did not enjoy the chase scenes I thought that they weren't good chase scenes and they didn't. They didn't pay off and they weren't exciting to me because you didn't know the characters and you couldn't follow. She couldn't follow along so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so here's. Here's what I will. I'm not defending it, specifically the the opening car chase. I'm not defending it because I I did enjoy bits and pieces of it, but as a whole I don't. I don't know the geography, I don't. There's no Tension for me because I don't know where you're going. No, I don't know what you're, where you're going, what you're doing or who you're with, so I don't care about anything that's happening. If I go back into the, the film history of mr Michael Bay, he has some great car chases. Transformers has a great highway chase scene. The reason why it's great is because it comes three quarters into the movie.
Speaker 1:I know the stakes, I know the people and guess what? They're just driving down a highway. They're going straight. I know where they're going. I understand everything that's happening. We are in London. Question mark is that where we are for this? No, we're in. We're in Rome, we're in Italy, I don't know. Not a good start, but I don't know. We are taking turns all over the place. I don't understand where we're going. I don't even know what they're driving to. Do you a Meeting point?
Speaker 2:no, no, we're not, we don't, we have no idea. And no, they're not in Rome because they're on the, they're on the coast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we don't. This is this is what I'm saying. I think there was a chai ron at some point that told me where they were. I don't know. That's not good.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, we're gonna start the movie now. Oh, that says it. Like I was Italy, so they were in Italy. Okay, we start.
Speaker 1:All right there's secret.
Speaker 2:The secret headquarters is basically the six undergrounds. There's six characters. There's ryan reynolds as the rich guy. We're just gonna call on ryan reynolds because they they have numbers and the numbers are stupid one. He's. He's one. Do you know the numbers of any of the others?
Speaker 1:Yes, four is my acrobat guy.
Speaker 2:He's the parkour guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, parkour um. I think that's. I think that's all I got and then obviously seven, we know seven seven.
Speaker 2:Yes, so basically you have the main guy, ryan reynolds, who's the rich guy who finances all this, but he's also james bonden. Has every skill known to man, so he is every he he's batman, he's, he is to a tee.
Speaker 1:This character is batman in a real world setting. Quote, unquote.
Speaker 2:But he's batman with the sort of wacky comedy of spider-man.
Speaker 1:Nice, yeah, yeah, there you go. Well, deadpool, because it's written by the guys who did deadpool.
Speaker 2:Was it this truly written by the guys that you didn't do any of?
Speaker 1:your homework this time Did. The one time you don't do homework is this movie. I'm so disappointed. Yeah, this is. This is written by the Dynamic duo that wrote uh, that wrote deadpool. Wow, that's yeah. So it's here's. Here's what. Again, as a big picture, I I get this movie. I understand it. You've got the team behind deadpool teaming up with ryan reynolds again. You've got michael bay, who, love them or hate them. He makes an action movie. You know, he knows what. He knows how to do it. Yeah, as netflix, I'm green, lightening the shit out of this movie. Sure, 100 percent. Yeah, here's here's infinite amount of money. Go, have fun, boys.
Speaker 2:It seems like michael bay probably decided, told them what the plot was and then they wrote the Movie around the plot and then just were like, okay, here's where we can do all these jokes, and Because the jokes are all straight up jokes, the the problem with the jokes is that ryan's reynolds characters should not be the one delivering the jokes correct.
Speaker 1:Also, I also have a you know what? I'll wait to pitch this until the end. I have a way to fix this entire movie.
Speaker 2:Oh, make ryan reynolds, not the main guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, give it dance Wow.
Speaker 2:Wow, that was. Oh, you broke, you broke you broke this.
Speaker 1:I wrote a whole plot synapse and I was so excited I was like I'm gonna blow dan's mind today and that you really took the wind out of my sails.
Speaker 2:Sorry, so here's ryan reynolds, who is the rich guy but also does everything. There's a there's a doctor who does one dog three.
Speaker 1:I don't, you don't, even, you don't know, I won't, I won't start it, I'm not doing the numbers, because the numbers are done this forget the numbers. Got it.
Speaker 2:Because that's who we're gonna. We're gonna refer to them. She's the doctor you have, hot blonde cia lady who spook, spook.
Speaker 1:That's what they, that's what the thing says. I'm gonna call her cia lady.
Speaker 2:You have the hit man, who's just a hit man. You know european kind of whatever. You have parkour guy. Who is that? Tom hardy's brother?
Speaker 1:or something is less, even it's hard. Well, his name is ben hardy. I saw that in the credits and I I honestly don't know. I didn't care enough to look.
Speaker 2:And I can do it right now. Is that everybody? There was one more person, right? Oh then, the driver. Who was? Who was um? Day franco, who dies at the spoilers. He dies at the end of the, the first big chase, and so you're like, oh, the one person I know who I actually find funny and I enjoy it, he's dead.
Speaker 1:So Great. So here's. Here's what I find interesting is I did. I did kind of look at some people's Reviews just to see because people didn't love this movie is as much as I enjoyed it. A lot of people complain because they're like we don't even know the character before he dies. But that's why you hire somebody. You know, you hire a named actor that we are familiar with because you're gonna kill him right away and that will still affect me in some way. You may not care as much as you want to, because you're like oh, you know he was important to the team, but I do. I love Dave. I wanted Dave to be in the whole movie. I'm hurt, I'm disappointed, I'm hurt. Let's go get revenge, which we don't.
Speaker 2:We don't really do anyhow in psycho, alfred hitchcock hired janet lee to be the main woman and he kills her 20 minutes in, like, kills her, kills her, and and supposedly audiences got to that point and they just they're their brains melted. They were just not ready for, you know, because it was the whole thread of the movie. She was, she was the driving plot, and then she's dead and you're just like what just happened? I don't know.
Speaker 1:You know like talking about filmmaking this movie, and well, to the extreme screen right drew barymore on all the posters. Everyone going into that movie, thanks, it's her. You kill her in five minutes, right, and it's beautiful, it's glorious, but you're the first time you see it. You're like what the fuck just happened? And that's obviously not as effective as either of those two things, but it is a device that we now use, like it or not, it's there.
Speaker 2:So there's an airplane graveyard rich ryan reynolds. This is their secret headquarter. For what reason? No reason, um, well, it's a joke, there's a nice joke to it.
Speaker 1:What's the joke to it? You don't remember. They call it. Uh, they're. What is it? They're haunted house because there's a ghost. I don't know why. It's a plane. No, sorry.
Speaker 2:I just meant the name of their. See I, I just set up that they haven't in the middle of this abandoned place where there's all these broken down airplanes, and you're like there's a reason for it. There's a reason for it because it's called the haunted house.
Speaker 1:It's an airplane, there's a joke too. I meant they put a joke in it so that I don't think about those things. You see it's a mystery. It's like a magician where he's like giving you the left hand but really he's doing some shit in his right hand. I don't need to pay attention to that because you give me a nice joke of it's our haunted house because they're all dead. Great joke 10 out of 10.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, so voiceover. What happens when you tell you become a ghost? He misses his friend from the orphanage, I guess, and he's like king of the magnets and made his money in magnets, um, and sold something to cell phones to.
Speaker 1:I didn't understand any of it.
Speaker 2:I didn't get it now, if, if, if, uh, what's his name? Microsoft dude. If he killed himself Bill jates and then he was walking around in the streets, people would be like, hey, there's Bill Gates, right? Yes?
Speaker 1:if you're a multi, if you're, that's problem number one.
Speaker 2:If you're a billionaire and you look the same as when you were alive, he will get recognized on facial recognition instantaneously. Period.
Speaker 1:Even if he is the age of social media Uh, and here it. They reinforce social media when he goes and does his war zone visit and he's like let's just take some pictures and I'll be carrying water and then I'm gonna get out of here. So yeah he's, his face is everywhere. People would know it would have been a pretty big deal if a billionaire died, I think, but I, I don't know damn well.
Speaker 2:I'm more importantly, you know, do the batman give him family money, and so then maybe you can say you know he died when he was 21. And yeah, he hadn't really come into the limelight or yeah, but if he's like a real guy that really Invented something that was huge in the culture of media and and tech. People are gonna know who he is.
Speaker 1:So I don't know. Problem number two that I need you to clarify for me is what happens to your money after you die.
Speaker 2:It goes wherever you tell it to go.
Speaker 1:Right. But so let's say, he tells it to go to A ghost account and then money is being siphoned out of there, don't? Aren't people gonna notice Well?
Speaker 2:you'd have. You'd have to have a lawyer and you'd have to have a trust and it would go into the trust and then you get access to. I mean, yeah, once again, you have to access it through through some live body, right? Yeah, so he has to have help and and that's.
Speaker 1:He needs to have a elf, frid. He needs to have a, a fox, right? You need somebody on his side that knows that he's alive. That's like I'm helping this superhero, right? I don't know anyhow.
Speaker 2:I don't care, I'm moving on. So he supposedly dies flying a red bull stunt plane and whatever. Okay, fine, whatever we're just gonna. Oh, sorry yeah we're just gonna let him have that, whatever.
Speaker 1:It's, you're gonna let him have that, even though he ejected, and I'm pretty sure those have trackers on them. It's fine? Uh question, because I, I genuinely don't remember. It shows His cockpit, right, yeah, and there's definitely a picture of a woman. Is there a picture of a boy? I?
Speaker 2:mean I feel like his friend from his friend from the orphanage, his son, oh no, no, no, no. The sun is conceived during the movie.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm assuming the woman is the woman. Well, we'll talk about that. It's really stupid. So boom, boom, we're now. We're in the car chase.
Speaker 2:We're going to have a nice 20 minute car chase. They're in Italy. They race around Italy. There's the doctor in the back. There's CIA lady in the back. Cia lady has been shot. Yeah, just a little. The driver's in the back, they're in the back, they're in the back, they're in the back, they're in the back, they're in the back. Yeah, just a little the driver's in the front.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, reynolds next to him.
Speaker 2:At some point we find out that they had gone to an office where this evil lawyer was to get access to his phone, because there's information on his phone that they need. It's information that is never used in the movie.
Speaker 1:Are you sure? I thought maybe it had something to do with locating the guy later. No, okay.
Speaker 2:They're the generals, these four mysterious generals.
Speaker 1:Oh, the four generals, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:But it's not. And then when they're driving they have to access the phone as opposed to having access the phone in the thing, and the way they have to access the phone is an eye that they've carved out of the guy's face. And so there's like these wacky things where they're trying to get the eye and unlock the top Because you're driving, so the eye's moving.
Speaker 1:It's hard, it's tough, tough Dan.
Speaker 2:Once again, we're about a third into the chase before we're manipulating the eye.
Speaker 1:So you're like why are we doing that now? Why don't? We do that, and after the thing is over, Great, that's a great question, dan, because that's less funny and you lose out on some great gags like Ryan Reynolds dropping the eyeball underneath Dave's legs and yelling at him not to crush it and step on it, or him just dangling a bloody eye around, which I guess is funny. I seem to think that they think it's funny. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I mean, if we understood this meant something, then OK, but we just pull it out of the air in the middle of a chase. We're like oh this is the thing happening, as opposed to setting up the whole thing whatever. So basically they're just driving, there's rock songs, and now we see the parkour guys on top of this big Italian dome and he's all like I'm ready to go, like this is the place you're going to deploy one of your assets, and then he runs down and then takes out one car, that doesn't even matter.
Speaker 1:Is he?
Speaker 2:the lookout.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, they deploy him.
Speaker 2:Yes, he does not do any. Looking they're like she's like. I put myself here because this is going to be a great place for me to parkour down from at a perfect moment. That is the perfect moment that I'm going to take out one single car.
Speaker 1:Hey, listen, he's a human being taking out a car. Let's see you do that, dan. You can't, so then?
Speaker 2:also the hitman guy. He's in another car and then he picks up the parkour guy. And then we do a Spice Girls joke. At one point the CIA woman gets out and use the big gun to shoot a bunch of people, All during this car chase. Hundreds of people are dying. They do not care, and supposedly this group is set up to take care of big bad things and to help the world, and they are just making orphans everywhere they go, killing families.
Speaker 2:Like I said at one point, they save one baby, but for the most part they could care less about any habit that they have.
Speaker 1:No, because here's the thing. At one point they make a really nice joke where one of the I think it's the blonde lady she's like oh no, no, it's the doctor. And she says if you hit one more person, I'm jumping out, like you know, because she's upset because they're killing a lot of innocent people. So they care, dan, don't tell me they don't care. She's almost ready to quit the mission because they killed so many people.
Speaker 2:She doesn't quit the mission at the end, though. She stays with it.
Speaker 1:She doesn't quit the mission and they keep killing people. There's. It's weird, it's a joke, I get it, but you have to follow through on some. Dave doesn't suddenly become more conscious of his driving. They kill a bunch of more people and she never says anything again. If you're going to say that line, it has to have repercussions at some point.
Speaker 2:There's no repercussions for anything that ever happens in this, outside of the weird little plot that they've chosen for this thing. Sure. So, then they drive into the Uffisi Museum. The parkour guy gets on a skateboard and shoots bad guys. There's more rock music.
Speaker 1:And then they hit the yeah, he does a, he does like a front board, slide down some stair, stair railing to shoot people. It felt very 1997 and I was here for it.
Speaker 2:And then and then they, they pull into like this big concrete sort of parking structure, this sort of building where there's nothing and somehow there's guys like out of vehicles with machine guns shooting at them, just waiting for him, just waiting.
Speaker 1:You should have gone to just any other building in the entire city and you would have been fine.
Speaker 2:And then they, you know, they go into a slide and they hit a forklift and the forklift sticks right into Dave Franco and he's dead, he's gone. Then they all just casually get into another truck and drive away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And once they get, once they switch vehicles, nobody, nobody can catch up to them Like they're just forgotten, totally forgotten.
Speaker 2:Oh, they get in the truck of the of the hit man, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. It's really good stuff, really good stuff, and there's some jokes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's some jokes. And about three quarters of the way through the chase I was like oh yeah, I've watched this before and I, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like I, I'm not. I think I finished the chase and I was like this is not a good movie and I turned it off.
Speaker 1:This is not for me, thank you.
Speaker 2:So you know I have seen it. We did this with one other movie that I got a ways in and I was like I've seen this before and I did not finish this movie because it's terrible.
Speaker 1:I hear, okay, so here's the thing, here's what I'm going to say. Right, this is, this is kind of indicative of the whole. If you can get through this initial chase scene and not want to turn off the movie, you're going to like it. You're going to like the rest of the movie, I think personally. But this is, this is the Bay East Bay film of all time. Right, they, they gave him carte blanche and he went for it. He got, he had his R rating. So he kills and maims so many people and they are. They're brutal deaths Like they're. Some of them I'm cheering because they're so fun, and some of them I'm like they're all too far, and that's a great balance to have, I think. So I love, I'm here for the deaths. I think they're great, they're very fun.
Speaker 1:The jokes are hit or miss for me, but they are. There are real jokes in this movie that are totally separate of the film, which you can either like or hate. I totally get it, I'm fine, I'm entertained by them. And if you can handle the way that he directs a movie which is crazy and this is the craziest of them all, this is the most frenetic. I don't think he had a tripod for the whole movie? I really don't. I don't think there was a single locked off shot, even shots that are like close up of me typing on a computer. He's like got sweeping movements handheld. There's no reason for it, but they're there and if you can stomach all of that, you're going to be fine. You're going to have a good time. You're going to have a good time.
Speaker 2:In the middle of this the thing, at one point they just have like a close up of the CIA woman's the side of her eye and I'm just like no, why this? Does not add anything to the chase, it just, it's nothing. This does not increase the intensity. It's like never once did I feel like holy shit, this is fucked up, this bad is going to occur.
Speaker 1:I agree with that. I do agree. I don't think this is. Did you see ambulance, the movie he did after this Okay, watch ambulance. I personally think that movie is genuinely a good movie and it's tense the whole time and it's just basically a couple of people driving in an ambulance for a whole two hour movie. Give or take. They get out of everyone's. So most of the movie is in an ambulance, it's a chase and it is tight as hell. This movie is the opposite. There is no tension whatsoever and I'm just kind of like I'm here for the ride, you know, let's, let's just see what. See what crazy thing Michael Bay comes up with next.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like looking for content in a roller coaster. You're not going to find content in a roller coaster. She's going to be like I'm still going to ride it. And you'll be like oh, I wish I had just eaten a corn dog and not done that.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, corn dogs are great. They're great Coming up.
Speaker 2:So now we're on a boat and he talked. You know, this movie also reiterates the whole premise of we're trying to do good things for the world. We got to be secret and we got to not care.
Speaker 2:So he does this whole no names thing and they, they're like he was a good man and they, they bury him at sea and you're like whatever. Now we meet the guy that's going to take over Dave Franco's place. I don't know who he is, we're going to call him the sniper. Do you know the actor who played him?
Speaker 1:Uh yeah, he's from straight out of Compton, his name. Oh boy, now I feel bad. Corey Hawkins felt.
Speaker 2:Felt like he was the best actor in the movie.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Cause he's, he's an, he's an actor, he's you know what I mean Like he's, he's a good actor. He also got to do the 24 continuation. That that was which cut short in my book In opinion, cause I thought it was brilliant. Oh wow, Just wanted to throw that out there. Yeah.
Speaker 2:He's great, um, and the movie should have been about him. He should have been central thing.
Speaker 1:I came up with that last night all by myself and I was so proud of myself and I, I mean I agree a hundred percent. This he's. He's a the moral compass of the movie and he's the emotional drive of the movie. How is the movie about Ryan Reynolds?
Speaker 2:He gets the one scene in this movie that I was like 10 out of 10 and you know it's great scene and it's all because of him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I mean he's. The movie has to be about him, he's. He's the guy joining the team late. We don't need any of those intros to the other team. The team is already established. I'm fine with that.
Speaker 2:Well, the team. The chase should have been the team falling apart and the and the final the final, the final thing of Dave Franco getting killed. Should have just is like no, I'm the team apart. And then you have the, the fucking asshole leader, who's not a wisecracking fun, ryan Reynolds, who you want to hang out With no, he's Bruce Wayne.
Speaker 1:He's dark, he's brooding and he's controlling a millionaire.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's the biggest prick in the world. And he's like no, you're gonna fucking keep doing this. And he gets this new guy to come in and do it. So New guys at home about to commit suicide. And the reason why he's gonna commit suicide is because he was on a mission and he saw a fake you in van and he asked is the bosses can I shoot this fake van? And they're like no, I don't shoot that van. And then the van blew up and killed a bunch of people. Do we want to talk at all about how this movies makes it, how all Middle Eastern people are either Monsters or people who are ready to rebel against the monsters?
Speaker 1:It's yeah, what is? What is the word for? Is that xenophobia? Is that what?
Speaker 2:that is xenophobia, is what Islamophobia? It's just okay you know, we got to this certain point where you know, initially All the bad guys were like Russians or Asians, you know Foo Manchu and all that and then at a certain point we're like all bad guys are terrorists or dictators. I really wanted them to go and kill like a corporate American guy is one of their, their missions to help the world, but of course that didn't happen.
Speaker 1:No. So Michael Bay, very America, yeah, and which you know. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad trait, I'm just saying Maybe, maybe mixed, maybe do something interesting.
Speaker 2:You know, and I mean you know, you understand, it's easy to make these dictators the bad guys, because a lot of these dictator guys have done a lot of terrible things. But you can't make him a religious person, you know. You can't make him go to kill the clerk that's in charge of this, the country you have to make it this dictator. And then the dictator has these four generals, and so I was like, oh, this is what the movie's gonna be. We're gonna have them kill these four generals and then kill the dictator. No spoilers.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna kill all four dictators yeah, just happens faster than you anticipated them, because they were like oh wow, we just shot nine flashbacks and the movie is already an hour and 30 minutes. We need to, we need to make this third act pop, yeah so.
Speaker 2:But well, you know just what the way the world is, you know, to just continuously Make these the only bad guys that exist on the planet, it's, it's, it's. Lazy it's lazy and it's just gonna.
Speaker 1:It's lazy and problematic, but it's to me like the. The cardinal sin is it's lazy. Do something interesting. Give me a real bad guy. You know, that's what I want make him.
Speaker 2:Make him you know a munitions dealer. Make him something that you're like okay, here's what he is. He's, you know, but they're their whole thing is they're gonna Kill his generals, then kill the dictator and then they're gonna put his his. You know, they're gonna kill the bald Stubble dictator, bald, overweight stubble dictator, and then replace him with the Good-looking, perfectly haired, perfect beard.
Speaker 1:Are you saying I should be offended by this movie Cuz we're getting rid of the fat bald guy? Tony, you sons of bitches. Tony, michael Bay wants to kill you. Michael Bay's got a problem with me personally and I'm coming after your pants pretty good, so you're kind of your oh, thank you. It's a little long right now, dude.
Speaker 2:You're like the. You're like the, the really younger brother who gets in the way.
Speaker 1:Oh, cuz I'm in between, I got the baldness, but I got some nice facial hair. You know, I'm not all trash.
Speaker 2:Just what you say. You're the.
Speaker 1:You're the clingy younger brother who causes all these problems Because they're first of all. I think I could play the shit out of that role man. Thank you.
Speaker 2:You would actually be pretty good. So, yes, so Ryan Reynolds goes to the sniper guy and he's all like I'm the guy that's gonna let you pull the trigger and take out the evil people. And then he's like let's go on a boat and we'll fake your deaths and then we'll fake your, we'll do a funeral and then we'll watch hold on watch from a distance as your big Futuro, that there's everyone you love, seeking that you're dead.
Speaker 1:Can we talk for one second? There's I gotta. There's two things. One, this fake fake in his death. He just jumps into a lake right or an ocean, I'm fine jumps off a ferry, but they never got his body, so he's declared dead after X amount of time.
Speaker 2:I think, if you, if you fall, but you know, yeah, I don't know, I mean, I don't know pays the.
Speaker 1:Sure, sure, he's the coast guard, you know billions of dollars. And they're like, hey, I know you. And he's like, no, you don't, here's an extra hundred. I but it's dumb, it's really dumb. They should have thought something a little bit cooler. Now, have you ever seen the movie Tom and Huck, the Disney movie? They watch their own funeral from afar. It just I was just laughing the whole time. I don't know why. It just it's silly to me To have people watch their own funeral. And then they had that guy just screaming at the sky. What's happening in this scene?
Speaker 2:I don't understand. Well then the dude says that's my cousin, let me he's Playing it the for all he can get me. So basically he says that's bullshit, he doesn't care and you're just like pretty much yeah is your mom down there? You're gonna never talk to your mom. I like like what trauma? Like like the amount of trauma you're inflicting on your family Based on, like, ryan Reynolds giving you a speech about how he's gonna let you go shoot someone. Pretty wild. Yeah it's just like I don't, it's just weird.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's pretty silly. You have to. You just have to get past it, you know okay.
Speaker 2:He's got it.
Speaker 1:I think the thing that would be better, yeah, is if he found people that were already assumed dead, like maybe he got caught, right, maybe this sniper guy was caught and he's overseas in a POW, right, sure, and Ryan Reynolds has to go break him out and he's like no, no, you're gonna stay dead, but you're gonna fight for me, something like that you know, but you got this really stupid scene where You're watching his family get traumatized and then you're making a joke about how the one guy in your family is not getting traumatized and he's just a giant asshole.
Speaker 2:You're like and that's what this is like, your classic how do we have our cake and eat it too? Well, we won't make it about the trauma. We'll make it about someone having fake trauma, or your dad somebody yeah, it's somebody hamming it up for the cameras.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I don't know it's. It's really weird, it's very strange, but you just have to put it. You just file it away under. That doesn't make any sense. Let's get back to the action. Watch these movies and he also.
Speaker 2:There's a caveat of joining is you can never go to a city that you've been to before. Talk about that, tom.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't think I'm gonna say is, doesn't he break that constantly?
Speaker 2:everybody breaks every. Well, whatever we're gonna talk about, Listen, there are no rules.
Speaker 1:Okay, the only one rule one rule, Tony?
Speaker 2:What's the one rule? You can't have contact with your past. That's the one rule. But there's only one, but then and you can't go to cities that you've been to before.
Speaker 1:Which they do all the time, I'm pretty sure it's like so I, you know, they got like this big map.
Speaker 2:They're like, you know, we can't do any more operations.
Speaker 1:I said he's off. They're like well, there's a really bad guy here. But we already went there last year, I, we can't go back.
Speaker 2:It's just like why do you put this line in here?
Speaker 1:And it's like it's a line that doesn't impact the movie right? Not even a little bit, cuz they I again they I pretty sure they do it a bunch cuz he's already been detergist. Stand right. That's where he went on the To the opera and he saw the dictator right. So, like he's already, the whole movie is about him doing that. We haven't got there yet, tony. I know we haven't gotten. I'm just saying the whole movie is about him do whatever.
Speaker 2:Dan, I'm upset with you and the name of the bad country is turd, just stand turd. And at first I was like Turkistan, that's a real place. They're like no, it's turd just. And he's like oh, come on, it's named after a turd, is it a?
Speaker 1:real place no it's not. Netflix action movie Okay so he's a dictator in fake country, seemingly inspired by Turkmenistan.
Speaker 2:Turkmenistan they got turkish, that Turkmenistan, great. So boom, we go, and we go to the secret jet jet clubhouse, which I think your first was his bad cave. This way he says you can't have any friends and you can't go to city she's been to before, okay. And then here's the nine people we're gonna kill. There's all these pictures, but they're hidden behind pieces of paper. They pulls off the first one. He's like the dictator of turd, just Dan.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's, it's for dramatic effect and you got it. I'm surprised it's not a drum roll. You know, tear it off number one.
Speaker 2:And then where do they go to to talk about their mission, tony?
Speaker 1:Just, it seems like a coffee, like a coffee house a diner.
Speaker 2:They go to a diner a diner.
Speaker 1:Okay yeah, pretty good stuff. Pretty good. I mean, if you want to be covert, you leave your secret headquarters, then you go grab a bite to eat. Everybody knows that.
Speaker 2:Then so we learned that Ryan's the master of magnets. They talk about freedom, about freedom of death and no responsibility. Then we talk about the four generals. We got a kill and I have a quick question, dan.
Speaker 1:They do a whole speech here about what's good about being dead, and For our parkour guy, yeah, he's like no more getting arrested by the pigs for being naked or you know, normal stuff like being naked, which was funny, it was a funny line joke, but you can still get arrested, sure? Sure, I Don't understand, because they posit that now that they're dead they can't get arrested. But that's not how that works. You can see that, in fact, if you get arrested, you're in big trouble because you were supposed to be dead. Yep, so you need to even be more careful about not getting arrested, because if the law catches you, it ruins everything.
Speaker 2:Well, they have fake passports and stuff. So they this tons of fake identities. But I guess you can't make friends. Why are you have?
Speaker 1:facial recognition. Right, that's still a thing in 2023, because it's a modern movie.
Speaker 2:Well, you're not going to England, then that's for sure.
Speaker 1:They have it, you see TV, tv cameras, oh everyone in.
Speaker 2:Okay so now we set up this thing of secret hospitals, so they go to the secret hospital For no reason that I can think of, and then the dictator bombs the secret hospital while they're there. Then Right round shots, get the masks and and somehow they brought gas masks and they give away people and they pass them out and there's sad. This is a flashback.
Speaker 1:Right, I don't know. I'm pretty sure this is the flashback to why Ryan Reynolds is doing this. Oh really, I didn't know that. I thought that was part of the plot. Because he's there on a photo op this is the photo op one where he's like he's visiting as a billionaire, taking pictures with the people pretending he's helping, and they have the gas mask because they're under threat of gas. Because that's what the guy does is he does gas attacks. So then they are just like prepared or something.
Speaker 2:I missed all that.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure I think you're absolutely right I missed all that I'm pretty sure it's fine, because it doesn't make the movie better, because now it's like a personal vendetta as opposed to him trying to do the right thing.
Speaker 2:I don't know. So he's mad at. Actually he's mad at this particular guy.
Speaker 1:Just one guy, yep, just this one guy he's pretty mad at. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:That changes things a lot. Okay, well, that makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So we have we cut to the evil general, I mean the evil dictator, and he's looking at a picture of Napoleon and then it turns out that he shot videos of his gas attacks and then he puts them online to just rile everybody up, to show everybody that he's bad, he's the boss, he's the boss. So then we cut back to Brian Reynolds past. He goes and he goes to a theater the dictator's there.
Speaker 2:Then he meets the theater, meets the dictator in the theater bar and then raps with him about how you're going down in the fifth act and then the dictator's like the bad guy's always winning, bad guy's always winning. And then there's like a super hot bartender lady and then he goes and has who I originally thought for a while was the doctor of the group.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, it's like you're a separate people.
Speaker 2:It turns out people this this girl did not know that the doctor very attractive, this woman's super hot. So that's how you know the difference.
Speaker 1:This one's super hot. You got a 10 and a 12. It was confusing for me.
Speaker 2:I didn't get it, so he goes in and they have a 20 second sex scene. 20 seconds sex scene.
Speaker 1:And this is. I want to push pause real quick, yeah, not for too long. I want to talk about Michael Bay for just a hot minute because you know we've talked about, you know he's, he's frenetic, he's big, he loves to sweep, he loves handheld, he likes, you know, the pans, the zooms, like he moves his camera. But the thing he's very good at is making his movies sexy, and not just not just with sex, but like the cars are sexy, the planes are sexy, objects are sexy, people are sexy. He's very good at that. And even though there is very little that happens in this scene, I was like, okay, you did it, you're good, michael Bay.
Speaker 1:And when I think some people maybe forget is that Michael Bay comes from the, he comes from the music video business, sure, sure. And so his directing style sometimes just feels like a long music. Right, it's fast, he's cutting, he doesn't necessarily make sense, but it's, it's visual, it's stunning and you're just like what is happening? That's a music video. Right, put some songs to it. You got a music video and I went back and I watched a couple of his early music videos. I went and watched some Meatloaf, which was great Meatloaf.
Speaker 2:It makes me accept Meatloaf.
Speaker 1:Paradise, but the dashboard lights. Whatever that song is, I can't remember right now. He does a video for that. It opens up, a chopper's going up into the sky and we're cutting, there's motorcycles. I was like this is so, it's Bay, Bay has always been Bay and you got to respect it. And I just I thought this was a nice scene and I was like I get it. I get it, Mike.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 20. And this, this, this was like where you could see the what I would call the death of the sex scene, where you might have thought it was sexy, but it was sexy for literally 20 seconds. Yeah, because you can't have sex scenes anymore.
Speaker 1:We don't like them, dan. All right, the world is.
Speaker 2:Which is why.
Speaker 1:I think this is good Cause I get. I agree with you, so he can, he can hint at the sex scene here.
Speaker 2:Oh exactly.
Speaker 1:It could have been really sexy, but I didn't make it. But other people do these sex scenes that cut off too soon in my opinion, but they, they cut them off and you don't feel like it's. You're like, okay, we're going somewhere sexy. And then they stop Bay, the way he shoots, the way he directs, like it's sexy. I'm feeling the tension, I'm ready to go. They're both beautiful people. And then, you know, you cut away and I was like boy. I wish I would have watched that that's. I just think he's better at it than other people. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2:So after the sex they talk about evil and he talks about Are you saying that that's not what you do, Dan. Every time I wake up the next morning.
Speaker 1:That's what's on my mind. I'm like what evil will I do today.
Speaker 2:That's what I said. You're a dark, dark man, so he's like that, that dictator, he's going to get his, and then this guy's going down. You're like, so he's into her, I don't understand. And then, um, then she just like, she's like, um, this last time you'll find me here, I'm moving to New York city. And he's all like maybe I'll see you there someday.
Speaker 1:Well, nobody says, as I live in New York, so I will see you, but he won't because he can't go back there. No, no see, Dan, this is a flashback. No, he hasn't done his daredevils jump yet.
Speaker 2:So you're asking where that kid comes from. That's where the kid comes from. He put a baby in it Right.
Speaker 1:So my thing is this was? Four years ago. Does he have the kid's picture in the plane at the beginning?
Speaker 2:No, he can't because he just put the because he, oh no, because he finds out about the kid at the end of the movie.
Speaker 1:So okay, so that's what I didn't know. If he knew or he didn't, I was very confused by the end of this film, if I'm just being honest. Very confused Because he has her picture in the plane, so he has seen her since this moment. No, he just does.
Speaker 2:He's doing it for her, he's thinking about her.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right yeah.
Speaker 2:He's listen. I don't know. He's never seen her again.
Speaker 1:I won't pretend to understand billionaires, okay.
Speaker 2:When we run into Michael Bay, we'll ask him that question. That's a good point. Good question, tony. Good question. Let's get him on the pod, okay, so yes, so yeah. The Uzbekistan we learned how the CIA woman joined. She joined because she was there when they gave the brother to the dictator, so that's why she joined, okay.
Speaker 1:Do we need that information? Dan, Does it say anything about her character? No no, it's worthless.
Speaker 2:Boom. All the generals go to vacation together and they all like having sex with prostitutes together in the same room. I'm sorry. If I'm a general, I'm getting my own private room, my own private prostitute or two private prostitutes. I'm not sharing prostitutes with everyone else, just say it.
Speaker 1:Just say it. Here's my question what do they do, exactly as the four generals? They're the generals, no, I know their titles. I'm saying what is their job? They command troops. So similar to how we run like a UN event or something like that, where we don't have everyone in power in the same room. If you have four generals that you need, would you ever really want them all in the same room?
Speaker 2:Well, it takes four generals to buy sarin gas, and they're there to buy sarin gas, so you have to have all four there, because the one might like keep the money and the other one has to watch him Make sure he gets one.
Speaker 1:So he's checking on him, and he's checking on him, and he's checking on him, and there's a nice little okay, I see. The truth is you only need three generals.
Speaker 2:It's the fart triangle, right. That's how you figure out who's smelled it, who dealt it. We did this in another one of the things, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So what does?
Speaker 1:the fourth guy? Do I guess the fourth guy's the snitch?
Speaker 2:The fourth guy's on the phone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just give him a play by Paisley. Okay, well, Johnnevis did a good job here's what's happening?
Speaker 2:We're all bald and fat and now we're all naked. Thank you for prostitutes we like you very much, so the hit man and the CIA agent go there and just kill them all and then they have sex, which is pretty weird, right? We did not have any idea that this was coming, and it feels like this is the first time that the hit man is now completely in love with the CIA agent. But she's like no kissing, no kissing. Like she's set up these rules before, but he's acting like we haven't heard these rules before.
Speaker 1:And then it's confusing as an audience member because we don't know which character to believe.
Speaker 2:And they seem to be having sex in the murder room, but maybe they're not. Oh they definitely are.
Speaker 1:They are for sure they're definitely doing it at the murder scene.
Speaker 2:Now, tony, you said you're four biggest generals to go have sex with prostitutes in Vegas.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a given.
Speaker 2:Don't you send some security with them? Yeah, you don't have them like while they're nude having sex with prostitutes. Answered the door. Who is it?
Speaker 1:You wouldn't normally want them to have to do that, but maybe they are ashamed. You know what I mean. Maybe the four generals are like we can't have security guards knowing what we do, so we need to keep it separate. We want to have a private room. Yeah, you don't know, people have their own proclivities, dan.
Speaker 2:Is it? The whole fun of going to kill someone? Is that you have to get to them. The whole fun of killing someone in a hotel is not just putting a gun up to a door and shooting them through the door and it's done right, you mean for a movie, or as the killer.
Speaker 1:For a movie For a movie. Yes, I agree. As the killer, this is much easier. You know what I mean. Like it would be great if there was no security and I can just pop one right at the door. That's awesome. Did you ever feel?
Speaker 2:like these, characters were challenged by what they were having to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, one time. There it is Number four. Number four has a couple of challenges. Oh, that's true, you know. Turns out he's not very good at his job, so maybe get him off the team.
Speaker 2:And after sex, the CIA has to explain what a coup de ta is to the dumb hitman, because he's really dumb.
Speaker 1:But so here's not that it really matters. He doesn't seem to know what a coup de ta is and he's like what is it? What is it, I don't know. But then at the end he knows that it's spelt coupe, because he makes a joke and says coupe. If you have never seen the words coup de ta, would you know that it's spelt with a P? And I understand that this is getting nitpicky. I get that.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you're bothered, me if you're well versed in, like the French language sure, but he doesn't know what it means.
Speaker 1:He knows what does mean. Was that how it's spelt? I don't believe you.
Speaker 2:I don't believe you okay, tony, you're gonna talk about the next scene, where the hitman goes to visit his mom who has Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1:I'm so sick of this shit. I listen, alzheimer's is an easy Way to get sympathy for a character that doesn't deserve it. Yeah right, and he's basically like forgive me, I'm doing good things that wipe out all the bad things I did. And then Alzheimer's ladies like I don't like this one son because he's a bad guy. He's like but that's me, ma, that's me, I don't care, I don't care about any of this, I, I. In the next scene, ryan Reynolds pulls a gun on him. He's like hey, no, fam, just shoot him. Just shoot him.
Speaker 2:He's a liability, shoot him in that so he goes and visits a person, which is the one rule. Ryan Reynolds, yeah, in his car and is there and points, put the gun at his head and said there's only one rule and you broke that rule. And Then what's the repercussions of him breaking the rule?
Speaker 1:You just said it he yells at him, yells at him, and then he, and then he leaves, and then he's like but anyhow, have a good one bud, and do we ever, we ever explore the tensions of? Him pulling a gun? For sure not, because pretty soon Ryan Reynolds has a change of heart and decides that you can love everyone. So I Don't know not Tony.
Speaker 2:How would you feel if you went to work and your, okay, your boss? Yeah, put a gun to your head.
Speaker 1:So far, so good and yelled at you? He yelled at me yeah, I'm upset. I'm upset with a gun, fine.
Speaker 2:Would you like ever trust that person again.
Speaker 1:Well, for sure not no, because he has no problem. Pretend almost killing me, but then he doesn't kill me. So maybe I would, who knows, maybe I. Just you know, maybe this is how we joke around with each other, there's you know it was interesting.
Speaker 2:I gotta talk about something I've talked about many times on here the one time I was on a jury and as we sat there on the jury, and the person who we were judging Even though I didn't judge, I was an alternate lied to our faces. Yeah, when you have someone lying to your face. You really, you're done, you're done, you're done with that person you.
Speaker 2:You would never trust them, you would want nothing to do with them and If he'd also put a gun to my head. You know, yeah, that's, someone put a gun to your head. You are going to have a very particular opinion about and it won't be positive.
Speaker 1:It won't be positive.
Speaker 2:Okay, so then we do the hitman's origin story. He went to kill a guy and the guy had a daughter, and so then he felt bad and so now he does it more and randomly the street the right reasons.
Speaker 1:Question mark Okay. But, which is confusing, because he also, when he's talking to his mom, he's like they were always bad men, ma it's fine that I killed them. So then this turn doesn't actually make any sense.
Speaker 2:Then no, nothing, nothing makes any sense. Okay, characters, great, I guess totally unnecessary backstory that could just be taken right out of the movie you know, we have that scene in kill Bill, where she's killing the thing and then the other assassin shows up and then she takes the pregnancy test and and it's very you know, have you ever?
Speaker 1:seen kill Bill. I saw kill Bill one time. I don't like Tarantino. This boy probably gonna get a little hate. I'm not a fan.
Speaker 2:I have problems with some of the movies. But kill Bill didn't care for it the first time, rewatched it a couple times. It gets better. That's that one actually gets better in my opinion.
Speaker 1:But you know what probably also gets better?
Speaker 2:six underground no, so the the dictator has his generals. Then he's like, oh, who are the next four generals? And they march up. And then he's like, oh, now we're gonna push you off a building. And they push us, the four generals, off the building, and Then he picks the next four generals to be his generals.
Speaker 1:Because, yeah, that's what you do, because you got to prove because it turns out that general is just kind of a name, it's just kind of a position. It doesn't really matter, you don't need any qualifications, it's fine, anybody can be the general we do the origin of the parkour guy.
Speaker 2:He was stealing some jewels and then Ryan Reynolds catches him and then puts him in a chair. I guess, gun to his head and says what are you afraid of? What are you afraid of? What are you afraid of? He's like Kill me, and then the kill thing doesn't happen, and then Ryan Reynolds laughs at him. And so now, what's the work with him?
Speaker 1:Right, which is similar to the other one where he points a gun and and you don't think they should work together. Why would you work for a guy that does this? Now here's what I will say. Is that to me, this is seen as out of character for Ryan Reynolds, because he doesn't do this sort of thing with anybody else. I don't even. This is the most baffling scene in the whole movie. Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't make any sense. Now Did I laugh? Yes, I laughed, but I don't. I only laughed because of the way Ryan Reynolds is laughing. It was like a hyena. It made me laugh. What are you gonna do? Sometimes things make me laugh, dan, but it doesn't make any Sense. Well, he's not scaring him straight, he's not. Just, I Don't know. I don't know what this is for. I have no idea.
Speaker 2:The stupid hitman. I understand you cause trauma to somebody. Now you want to change what you're doing. The CIA lady she did. She made a mistake, made the world worse. Okay, the doctor? Oh yeah, we don't ever see how the doctor joins them. Oh my god, we don't do it. Of course we don't. Why would we see that? The doctor is the most? It's the character we don't understand anything about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's, especially because she doesn't really do a lot of doctoring. She does doctoring in the opening car chase and doctor the rest of the movie. Never again, huh, okay.
Speaker 2:I don't.
Speaker 1:Maybe she shouldn't be on the team. Maybe this should be five underground.
Speaker 2:But the name of the song is six underground.
Speaker 1:Mmm, oh wait, there's a song that came first. It's a sneaker pipsong, yeah, and that's. That's a real band, okay.
Speaker 2:Maybe you weren't into them because you were too listening to your power.
Speaker 1:No, pop now my question you Tony is do you like?
Speaker 2:yeah, do you like machine gun Kelly?
Speaker 1:Oh, people are getting a dn. I can't answer that in public. What does that mean? I do, yes, I do feel like I need to defend it a little bit.
Speaker 2:Shannon. Shannon, tony likes machine gun.
Speaker 1:Kelly hold on, hold, don't blink a statement. Hold on, there's caveats. There are caveats to this. Okay, let's go through the timeline, all right. As a white rapper, I didn't like it. Tony, tony loves machine gun. Kelly, no, hold, hey, don't embellish. Oh, she's so disappointed in you.
Speaker 1:Hold on, just walk to my downfall is a perfect pop punk album. It came at the perfect time because pop punk is dying and he revitalized it and brought it to the mainstream, so I have to respect him for that. Okay, his second album was no good, which was a bummer, and now I think he's going back to rap anyhow, so it's fine. Also, another reason he is, or was, dating Megan Fox. You can't not respect that.
Speaker 2:Oh, let's have.
Speaker 1:Well, boy, now you broke everything. Dan, I'll just keep talking about MGK. Now, a lot of people in the pop punk community Don't respect him because it's so sugary and he's kind of selling out, right, who cares? He's bringing it back to the mainstream. He won. He won awards. People that have never listened to pop punk. We're listening to pop punk because of him, so get off your high horse. All right, it's an inclusive, it's an inclusive group. This pop punk. We want more where it's all about fun. Oh my god, anyhow, are you done yet, dan? What's going on?
Speaker 2:I just might think, gave me an alert that it was having a lot of, I feel like.
Speaker 1:I'm already canceled, so Maybe you need to take over back up on my audio.
Speaker 2:Okay, they swiped at Hong Kong. Yep, we do a scene with the brothers in a place in Hong Kong and no, we don't fly to Hong Kong. We go to Hong Kong and we see that the brother is at the top of this penthouse. That's in Hong Kong. That's where they're going to have to rescue, yeah, yeah. So where do our guys go? They go to the Mongolian desert and then talk about the world being wrapped in red tape and the CIA and the hitmen are all over each other and everyone's like that's different. So now we're like that's different.
Speaker 2:So, now why we're in the Mongolian desert, for that no one knows. They did one joke where this random guy was sitting with them. That was funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what was it? Randall? Randall, was that his name? That was funny. Raymond, his name was Raymond. I wrote it down because I thought that was. They're just like talking about their plan. And then it cuts to Ryan Reynolds. He's like who's this little honey badger? Yeah, it's a great scene. Good old Raymond, sweet sweet Raymond. I love that guy. He should be in the movie more.
Speaker 2:It would have been a better movie. So we do some voiceover. Here's the plan. It's a snatch and grab and then we don't really hear the plan. Then we just start with the plan.
Speaker 1:Well, because they do a whole four minute bit about the word snatch. I don't even know what this was Like. Some jokes land, some jokes really didn't. And this was one of the ones where I was just like let's go, guys, let's wrap this up. Did not write it down, okay, did not that's fine.
Speaker 2:Why is my finder bouncing? Oh God, now my disk is slowly. My cloud drive will not work properly.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, dan, this pot. We're not even going to get to post this podcast. It's going to fall apart, oh my.
Speaker 2:God, what's happening? My thing is very full, but I have 17.4 megabytes.
Speaker 1:That's not very many embedded frameworks.
Speaker 2:What is happening? Everything's going crazy. Now my mail is mailbox, cannot save information. I put my mailbox. Okay, boomer. What is my?
Speaker 1:let me turn this off.
Speaker 2:Why is final draft on Tony? Tell me, why final draft is on.
Speaker 1:Final draft is on. What are you writing over there? Are you writing machine gun, kelly's new smash hit? I think I opened a file, oh my.
Speaker 2:God, what is happening?
Speaker 1:So mainstream sellout, not a great album. So it was a big let down for me. But there are a couple of bangers still on it. But in general. It kind of proved that he was kind of a one not a one hit, because the whole album is great Take us to my downfall Great Top to bottom in my opinion, but I don't think he can continue that success, unfortunately. Okay, it's going to be tough uphill battle.
Speaker 2:I can tell you. I'm talking about the how they save the guy. They start by laughing, gassing everybody in the building. Somehow they, and then the CIA and hit man, go up in the elevator. But the CIA, the hit man has, has gotten a leak or something because he had stuff painted on his mask by a dentist or something.
Speaker 2:And so he's worthless and he can't do things because, laughing gas, even though I have laughing gas one time and it does nothing. So I don't know how laughing gas is incapacitating all of these people. It's very weird.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I've never. I mean I feel like I've done low doses at like the dentist, right.
Speaker 2:Is that what they give you? Yeah, nothing. He doesn't do anything, it doesn't impair you, it just doesn't make you feel.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe you didn't have enough. This is what we should do. We should take a weekend. We'll rent a cabin. You and I can just hit the nitrous for a good 45 minutes. See how it works out.
Speaker 2:So is that, how this any?
Speaker 1:of that works Whatever.
Speaker 2:The parkour guy runs over there. He hides in the pool. They have to shoot a hole in the pool so you can breathe through the hole. I don't think that would work.
Speaker 1:I don't think it would work either, to be honest with you.
Speaker 2:Lots of shooting they finally get the guy. At one point the hit man tries to beat him up, to knock him out, to escape.
Speaker 1:The guy they were saving yeah.
Speaker 2:They shoot the pool, the pool explodes and washes a bunch of guys out.
Speaker 1:Am I losing it, or was there way more water that came down that could possibly have ever been in that pool? There's a lot of water. It was so much water, dan, it was like an entire lake.
Speaker 2:At one point they also say yeah, At one point they say there's way more guys here than we accounted for. Where are they all coming from? Never answer that.
Speaker 1:In the end, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:Why would you say that line? You're setting up that these people have to be accounted for at some point in the movie.
Speaker 1:There needs to be some sort of resolution.
Speaker 2:You just say holy shit, our estimates were way the fuck off.
Speaker 1:There you go, you just changed that line.
Speaker 2:Like one little bit.
Speaker 1:Don't tell me you're going to investigate where they came from if you're not going to investigate it.
Speaker 2:You're not going to answer your question. In the end, the parkour guy runs away and then a hundred of the bad guys somehow follow. The parkour guy does things that only a parkour guy can do.
Speaker 1:If I was chasing a parkour guy.
Speaker 2:I would follow him for 10 feet and then he'd be on top of a building, running across a one inch beam of balsa wood. I'd be like that won't hold my fat ass.
Speaker 1:He'd be on the platform to platform and dance just on the back to be like okay, I stopped, you don't have to run anymore, I stopped.
Speaker 2:So somehow the bad guys keep catching up to him. And then eventually the super big bad guy, the beefiest, weirdest bad guy I don't know if Schwarzenegger has flown down there on magical godwings and is beating him to death.
Speaker 1:There's no way he could have followed what parkour did. It's just not possible. That body frame cannot do the things that parkour just did.
Speaker 2:And then they're in the car and they're like Ryan Reynolds is like, keep driving, we're leaving parkour behind. And then the sniper guy is like go fuck yourself. Puts a gun to rightly, puts a gun to Ryan.
Speaker 2:Reynolds head and it's like fucking stop the car and he gets out and he's like I'm going to fucking make this shot and it was like such a great emotional moment where you're like, well, this is what the movie is about. The movie is about a fractured group of people who finally come together in this one thing and then operate as an incredible team to pull off the last thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what it should have been about, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's a little. It's a little in there. There's a little bit of that in there, Somebody wrote this, wrote this scene, and they were like here's your scene. And then they hand it to Michael Bay. He's like no, I don't think we're going to do that. I don't think so.
Speaker 1:I don't think this isn't good for the whole movie. Just right here is fine, but let's let's try to leave all these emotions behind here.
Speaker 2:And so they make the. He makes the shot, and it's the only good moment in the entire movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's fine, I'll allow it.
Speaker 2:I'll allow that so we get this one scene with the dictator, where the dictator has hundreds of pictures of everybody in the crew and it's all like the woman's like none of these people show up on stuff, social media somehow or something. But no, actually. No, that's not what she says. It's a thousand times worse. She says all these people have been reported as dead. So she's figured out that they've faked their deaths Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Tony, if you fake your death and I find out who you are can I go and kill your family?
Speaker 1:I would prefer you didn't, because because I went through a lot of trouble to fake my death and to not let them know I was still alive. It would just be really rude, Dan, would you, would you stop coming, would you?
Speaker 2:stop coming after a dictator that calls you on the phone or contacts you, or you find out that your family's being killed off because he hit the hit man. The hit man has a mother right, and he could have easily gone and snatched her.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if he called me and he was like hey, bro, I'm gonna. I found out who you are. Here's their addresses. I got people outside. I mean like fair play, dude, all good Wishwash, we'll see you next month, you know, at some sort of potluck that we'll have to mend these fences. My bad, it's just so dumb.
Speaker 2:It's like it's so dumb, Don't, don't do this, Make whatever.
Speaker 1:Don't do this.
Speaker 2:And then all the people now give their names. So now we know their names and everybody's a family and we're all going to get along. But Ryan Reynolds, like he's resisting but not resisting I don't know Where's where's he? At.
Speaker 1:You know, because he's you know his walls are breaking down. You know what I mean Slowly but surely.
Speaker 2:So, boom, there might be something between the doctor and the parkour guy. I don't know. They send the doctor and parkour to sabotage the TV station.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's definitely something between them, because at the end of the movie they're rock climbing together and they're like I love you, just with their eyes.
Speaker 2:There it is. They're in love for a noble reason.
Speaker 1:Pretty much everyone's in love, so I guess the all what would happen in the sequel is that one in seven would get it on. That's a good looking couple.
Speaker 2:Now we go to the power station, where one in seven have to talk their way into the power station for some reason.
Speaker 1:For some reason, and also there's no way that what they did would have worked, because it was awful.
Speaker 2:One of the worst scenes in the movie. Just like, yeah, it's real bad. You do not send seven in there. I mean that dude could not do the, because that was that demanded this scene, sort of demanded the wacky humor, and then he was like. I can't do wacky humor and I can't really act like I'm. He's like acting like he's trying to do wacky humor, and that's when that's what things very much fall apart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, he's, he's like a real dramatic actor, like very talented guy, just you know. Leave him on the outside.
Speaker 2:Now we have a yacht, so there's a super yacht and whenever the dictators having trouble, they take him from his secure compound and take him to this yacht because there's a yeah. There's a panic room on the yacht, but there's a party going on on the yacht right now.
Speaker 1:For sure yeah.
Speaker 2:Why is? Why is there party on the dictators yacht when he's not there?
Speaker 1:Because he's rich and so people use his boat for parties. Dan, I don't know, I I got nothing.
Speaker 2:So they put the, they put the brother on TV and he's all like I'm here to teach time for revolution. And everybody in the country goes hey, he's on TV.
Speaker 1:Time for the revolution Then they all let's do it, they just the whole country is just their minds just starts throwing things out their windows. I don't know, man, and one of the things.
Speaker 2:I don't know a lot about politics, but a lot of Middle Eastern countries are divided among among ethnic lines, right, and then you have one ethnic line that's kind of in charge, then you have one ethnic line that's not in charge, and usually when you talk to the whole people, half of them are going to say go fuck yourself. I'm sticking with half of these people, you know, for whatever you want to say when there's a dictator in charge it's not usually that easy where the whole country.
Speaker 1:Luckily in Turjistan it is.
Speaker 2:Turjistan worry about. Oh God, I have to open storage management again.
Speaker 1:Oh for crying out loud, we're so do Tony. Yeah, this will never work. That's a given. There's a great moment. I'm just going to talk about one of my favorite jokes of the movie. So it's back when they're escaping on the zip line and the hitman is beating up the brother that they're trying to save for the second time and Ryan Reynolds comes over and he goes do you have rabies? The fuck's the matter with you. It's a good joke. I really liked it. I thought it was really funny. You know to talk about as aggression.
Speaker 2:Good joke. Yeah, it's a good one. I love that one that's about all I got. I'm very tired of that one. So boom, so the whole thing changes. They push a button and all the statues of the, the jet, the dictator, blow up.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's good, I guess. So yeah, I don't. We didn't see them plant any explosives, but it's fine.
Speaker 2:Then the cars drive there, the hitman gets in his car to try and join the group, for a reason that we don't know to do something. I don't totally get it yeah basically, everybody ends up on the boat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but if everyone was going to end up on the boat, like why did they all have to do it so separately? And weird, I don't know. It seemed pretty easy to get on the boat, is all I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Everybody ends up on the boat and they fight here and there and they fight, and then Ryan Reynolds has magnets which suck people to one side of the boat, then he clicks it the other way. Then I go the other side of the boat and the knife stick in them.
Speaker 1:It was funny. I thought this was really cool.
Speaker 2:If that had been like the whole plan, you'd have been like, okay, and then at a certain point, it's a very cool visual move.
Speaker 1:It's very different from like the rest of them. I liked it. I thought it was cool. It tied in his magnet backstory for some reason. I liked it. I thought it was cool. And yeah, like knives are stabbing into people. It's cool. It's cool to watch. It's a good scene. You can watch it on YouTube independently of the movie. I would recommend that instead of the movie.
Speaker 2:And then they just fight a bunch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they fight a bunch and then they win.
Speaker 2:And then they get the dictator to get in a boat, and then they send a helicopter out there to pick up the dictator, and then the dictator goes up on the helicopter and then all our guys are on the helicopter, somehow.
Speaker 1:How? How did they do it? They're magicians. It doesn't make any sense. They're literally on the boat and they're like he's leaving, he's leaving, he leaves. They're still on the boat and then all of a sudden, they're on the helicopter picking him up. No, I don't think so. I don't think so.
Speaker 2:And then they throw him to the rabid people and the people ostensibly tear him, limbs away, tear him apart.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's pretty dark.
Speaker 2:And you know, michael Bay feels good about America, america, fuck yeah. So then at the end we get the coda, where Ryan Reynolds goes to meet his hot girl that he slept with one night, because he's in love with her and she has a kid.
Speaker 1:You think it's really, that's it.
Speaker 2:What else would it?
Speaker 1:be Dan, I don't know. He has her picture in the plane. I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the dumbest solution. If you look at the pieces of information and you add them up with the dumbest solution, the dumbest solution is this is somehow four years after that and she's still single, and he put a baby in her and now he has a child.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so then he leaves them money, right? Is that what happens? Hmm, cause I'm pretty sure he leaves like a letter in a lock box.
Speaker 2:Oh, if he ever dies, then all the money goes to the kid, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Yeah okay, but like that's not gonna help the kid. Now you know what I mean. Just give him, like, just give him a mill, if you're a billion.
Speaker 2:Give him one mill. I'm sure he's gonna give the girl money.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I didn't see it, Dan. If I didn't see it, it doesn't exist.
Speaker 2:CIA and hit man. Go and meet the mother, and the brother is being a good leader in the. The brother is being a really good leader in the military dictatorship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:That's. That seems like an equation that's gonna work out perfectly because if you look at the history, of of inserting people into military dictatorships. It always works.
Speaker 1:It usually works really good. That's why we keep doing it right. The whole plan.
Speaker 2:The sniper is no longer suicidal. He's like happy now. He's like oh happy.
Speaker 1:It's a weird. It's a weird. So he, he pops the bullet, which is always one of my favorite things. They pop the bullet and catch it. I love that move. I feel like I need to learn how to do it. He throws the gun and then he holds up the bullet and he just has. He just starts laughing and smiling and I was like that's a weird reaction to deciding not to kill you. I mean, I'm happy you're not doing it, yeah, but it's a weird reaction. I don't totally understand what's going through your head.
Speaker 2:I'm pretty sure I was playing Marvel snap when all of this was happening. I miss, I miss the point. How's that going when? Where are you? I'm having more fun than watching this movie.
Speaker 1:So I start. I picked it up again. I don't know if I told you that, but I'm, I can't. I float between 48 and 52. Sure, I can't, I can't break the 52 plane, but I just, you know, I just ride that wave for the whole month pretty much and I don't get better. That's a problem for me. I want to get better.
Speaker 2:Do you watch? Do you watch the good players and play good decks?
Speaker 1:No, no, I refuse to watch other people play video games because I hate it. Oh, I'm a. I want people to watch me play video games, dan.
Speaker 2:I'm at level 89, level 89.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, what kind of deck are you playing?
Speaker 2:I've been a bunch of different decks. I play a Loki deck, I've been playing a Kitty pride, kitty pride, elsa bloodstone. I love Kitty pride and Kitty pride is like I love Kitty pride so much. I don't have the Elsa bloodstone you wait, it was a monthly card, wasn't it? Yeah, but I haven't always been playing. You can't miss a month.
Speaker 1:You miss a month, you're a dead man, cause they I think I've missed a couple of months, to be honest with you. There's also like a Hulk. Now that that's high evolutionary Hulk, okay, and what does that mean?
Speaker 2:Well, if you play high, if you play high evolutionary and you're starting deck all of your things that have no powers, gain powers.
Speaker 1:What the fuck? Okay, see, this is something I didn't know. Someone dropped a Hulk on me that was like a billion power Cause it's like if you don't play a card, you get X power. I was like what? That's not Hulk, what's happening right now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Okay, I've been playing. It's all up to find that. I'm playing a Nihilus.
Speaker 1:I want to get where we're, and that's the guy that like kills all your stuff unless it's a negative card and then sends it to the other side or something. He's cool. There's a lot of stuff that they brought. It might be above my head now. If you miss some time, it's hard to catch up. You can always just play Loki, you know.
Speaker 2:Loki's always playable.
Speaker 1:I do have. I put Loki in my collector deck, which helps. Yeah, it's nice, it's fun.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's that movie. Yes, sorry, tony, tell us about something you like this week.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir. So it is holiday season. Yes, it is, it is upon us. Yes, it is, it's now, it's post Thanksgiving even, and so we've been watching many, many Christmas movies. Oh, I believe this was 2022. I'm going to check just to make sure. Oh, no, 2023. This might be a brand new one. This year it's got one of my, one of my lovers, robbie Amell, the younger brother of Steve, or the cousin of Stephen Amell. Beautiful, beautiful family, unbelievable. And Robbie's like the younger, boyish, charming version, and Stephen Amell's like the gruff man. Like you know, it's very. It's two different camps.
Speaker 2:If you like.
Speaker 1:Stephen, you might not like Robbie, but I might not Anyhow love them both. He's got a new movie called Xmas E X M A S. It's about his ex fiance and him going home for Christmas. It was great. It's really weird. It's. It's like a screwball comedy mixed with a rom-com, mixed with a Christmas movie. Unsuccessful at all three and yet together very enjoyable. Give it a shot. It's on prime, amazon Prime for free. Go do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we just started watching the Squid Game reality show.
Speaker 1:I was going to bring that up. That's so great. Now, what do you think? Oh, I love it. Love it, I'm so Dan by who? By? Squid Game, the contestants are suing Netflix for a group of them got hypothermia and what are these things? They fire in my brain nerve damage from being in the cold and not moving. I don't watch it. I don't know what challenge this is on, but apparently one of them like fucked up a bunch of people and they're suing Netflix.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's worth a try. It is worth a try. They got a lot of money. I'll sue them right now.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I super enjoy it, you know, just watching the challenges happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2:People break down, people like lose their minds. It's very funny.
Speaker 1:It's very funny to watch as people go through real trauma.
Speaker 2:People super reviewed bomb for a while and it was like 18% and now I checked it today it said 88%.
Speaker 2:All these single line comments from Spanish speaking people Interesting, okay, but like some of the people like review buying, one of the guys saw a bunch of them think that it's not good because they expected to be like the second season of the show. They didn't. They can't figure out why it's different. This seems like a reality show. And then another guy was like no one dies. He's angry because they don't actually kill the people in the show.
Speaker 1:He wants real people to die for his reality TV shows. Yes, he does. All right, well, people got real problems out there. It's a very scary world we live in.
Speaker 2:You're gonna win $4 million. You're gonna have to die for it.
Speaker 1:Be dead. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. What a treat.
Speaker 2:Okay, tony, I'll have to die for his next week.
Speaker 1:All right, dan, this is I am taking a Hail Mary, if you're familiar with the term. Sure, what we're going to watch is a movie that is currently it's brand new. It currently has an audience rating of 95%, but a critics score 44%. Okay, and I personally have never found this group of people enjoyable, and so we need to see this movie and judge for ourselves is, of course, please don't destroy the treasure of Foggy Mountain.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, okay yeah, sounds good. I watched the trailer.
Speaker 1:I mean I find those guys.
Speaker 2:okay, you know they're, you know they're Nipo babies.
Speaker 1:I do and I'm going to try to not judge on that. I hate everything that I've ever seen them do on Saturday Night Live. Okay, my brother obsessed with them.
Speaker 2:Love them, he loves them.
Speaker 1:Thanks. They're great and we spent a lot of like early pandemic. Him sending me their videos over and over. Can't stand these guys. I don't think they're funny, I don't think they're talented and I just I want to see what. Who gave them a movie and what it turned out to be. You know and I know I feel like I'm in the minority. I feel like people seem to really enjoy them. I just find them to be like a bad version of Lonely Island. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I thought I watched the trailer with my wife and I thought we enjoyed it. And then I sat down and really watched it for sure, and I thought the trailer was pretty terrible.
Speaker 1:Okay, I mean, I think it looks really bad. So, I will find out, we'll find out 95%, so somebody likes it 95% audience score. Either way that feels too high.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's one of those movies that's just hitting the people that want it, and so the people that hate it just are spending the time.
Speaker 1:It dropped on Peacock, which I think is the least widely adopted streaming service. I don't know why. It's my favorite.
Speaker 2:The safest place to get something not review bombed To me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, yeah, so we'll see. I just need to know. Okay, yeah, I like that one that's a good one.
Speaker 2:We, because we are the ultimate arbiters of what comedy is good and bad.
Speaker 1:Comedy yeah. A guy that failed out of the ground links miserably yeah.
Speaker 2:And a guy that's the basically the best comedy writer that's ever lived. That's, that's gotta be the other side it's not me.
Speaker 1:Which side are you on in my box? Maybe it's this side, I don't know. Two box, yeah, I'll do both and I'll cut it together. This guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, feeling like I'm John Travolta, this guy, little Senate in our favor.
Speaker 2:Ah, this was a fun one, if you liked the show. Oh God damn, it's just one minute up front.
Speaker 1:Oh dad, it's too late. It's too late.
Speaker 2:Nobody's here Give us a thumbs up, leave a comment or subscribe, and we'll be back next week talking about the Lonely Island guys.
Speaker 1:No, but please don't destroy guys, Don't confuse them. Goodbye everybody. Hey watching with Dan and Tony. Hey watching with Dan and Tony, it's like watching you.