Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching with Dan and Tony
Hate Watching Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver
Ever found yourself laughing at a farmer's market mix-up one moment and then passionately debating the tactical blunders of action-packed blockbusters the next? Well, that's precisely where Tony and I landed in our latest gabfest, taking you from chuckles to critiques as we dissect the newest Hollywood hits and misses. We give you the lowdown on everything from "Rebel Moon 2" to the emotional depth of classic characters, all while weaving in our personal misadventures and the peculiarities of movie critique podcasts.
Imagine a world where slow motion in battle scenes is more yawn-inducing than awe-inspiring, and where character arcs are as flat as a day-old soda. That's the landscape Tony and I traverse, picking apart character development—or the lack thereof—in the latest action flicks. Weighing the merits of Zach Snyder's "Rebel Moon 2" against the iconic charm of "Star Wars," we don't shy away from pointing out the missteps in storytelling that leave us craving more Han Solo and less humdrum heroes. Plus, we jump into a dialogue on warfare portrayal in films that's as fiery as an on-screen explosion, debating the impact of R-rated cuts and the authenticity of battle strategies.
Before you think it's all doom and gloom, join us as we reflect on the oddities and plot holes that somehow keep us hooked, even when logic takes a backseat to intergalactic travel logistics and sentient engines. We also toss a bone to sports fans, sharing our heated anticipation for the NBA playoffs and the NFL draft, and then cap things off with a look back at the Hollywood films of 2013. Was it truly the worst year for movies, or are we just romancing the bomb? Tune in, share your thoughts, and buckle up for a ride that's as raucous as it is insightful—no green screens necessary.
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Dan: @shakybacon
Tony: @tonydczech
And follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT
Wait, did you see my story about how Shannon and I were over at the farmer's market? We go walking over there. We're sitting there at the table, you know, she gets a coffee and I get a donut. We're sitting there and the dude walks by and I'm kind of half turned away from him and he's like morning ladies.
Speaker 2:Thought I was a woman. Well, you've got beautiful hair. You know that's what it is Flowing locks of Dan Goodsell. Honest mistake, right there Was he flirting, maybe a little. Maybe a little. All right, hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony. Hate watching with Dan and Tony.
Speaker 1:It's like watching hell, welcome to Hate. Watching with Dan and Tony I'm Dan and I'm Tony, and on this show we watch the movies that everyone's itching to hear us talk about.
Speaker 2:Sorry. I'm not laughing at your intro. Keep going, you're good.
Speaker 1:This week we did a consensus movie.
Speaker 2:We did yeah.
Speaker 1:Every once in a while we have those consensus movies where we're just like you know, the ether is like you've got to do Matterweb.
Speaker 2:You've got to do it. You've got to do it, you've got to do it.
Speaker 1:You've got to do these movies that.
Speaker 2:We've got a couple coming this year and I'm very excited about it. Ghostbusters 2. Ghostbusters Consensus movie New Venoms coming out sometime, Craving the Hunters. I mean we've got great stuff coming down the pipe here. I'm excited.
Speaker 1:Just when you think the show's petering out, you're like oh, they're just going to keep making movies.
Speaker 2:Dan, you thought the show was petering out. This going to keep making movies, Dan you thought the show was petering out.
Speaker 1:This is news to me, Dan.
Speaker 2:Well, I thought we were going to run out of movies we're going to be like oh We'll never run out of movies.
Speaker 1:We're going to have to actually do bad, bad movies. I was talking to my buddy, todd, and I guess Paul Scheer does a show like this that they've been doing for like 13 years.
Speaker 2:First of all, you've never heard of how Did this Get Made?
Speaker 1:No, I thought I came up with this concept.
Speaker 2:Oh, Dan, you're funny. You're a good guy, you know I am funny. No, how Did this Get Made is very fun.
Speaker 1:But they do bad, bad movies, you know. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:They do all the above. You know they do. Yeah, I mean they've been doing it for. You know they do. Yeah, I mean they've been doing it for a long time. But they did go down. They started doing like every two weeks now instead of every one week because, you know, you got to pace yourselves. But Jason Manzoukas is just the funniest guy in the world. That's what Tommy's saying.
Speaker 1:He's beyond funny.
Speaker 2:If he wasn't. I'll just say this right now, not to throw shade at anybody if he wasn't on that show, I wouldn't listen to it. Oh wow, like he's that influential, he's the show. Just like I'm the show on this, just like it's the good sell show.
Speaker 1:But point being, I like to think we our sweet spot is Hollywood excess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that's what we aim for. Right, that's the North star, as they say.
Speaker 1:That's what I like to look at is where you know a bunch of the dump truck of money has poured money into celluloid and then we're here to unpack that, and the movie we're doing this week Is that in spades it's Rebel Moon 2, the second part of the Rebel Moon, and did the first one come out in like January?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so there's only a couple months. I didn't look up exactly when it came out, but I think it's like a four month difference. So that must be January, because right now it's April. You did it I just. Yeah, I figured it out all on my own. Thanks, dan.
Speaker 1:Now, did you rewatch Rebel Moon 1? Of course I did. You didn't think I was going to rewatch Rebel Moon 1?.
Speaker 2:Come on, man, because of course I did not no-transcript.
Speaker 1:And then the second thing was Charlie Hunnam. Spoilers turned out to be the bad guy or working for the bad guys, and he got killed. And then I realized in the first one he was the most interesting thing.
Speaker 2:Well, he's definitely one of them. I also really enjoy the bad guy I love. Oh, okay, why can't I think of his name? That's not a good start guys.
Speaker 1:Not a good start. Yeah, yeah, noble, his bad guy name is.
Speaker 2:Noble. I thought he was great in the first one. He was very fun Because he's doing just slightly campy but still grounded, you know what I mean, like he's got a really nice balance. Um, but yeah, I mean those are the only two characters in the movie. It felt like it that's and that's. I mean, instead of making this better, that's, we're still there, there's, but now we're minus one. So now we have one character in the movie that I that I would even consider a character well, the bad guy doesn't really have a lot of interaction with the good guys either nope nope, all the fun stuff.
Speaker 2:So I mean, here's part of the problem, right, they shot these back to back. Basically it's like one big movie. So there wasn't a learning curve, right. The first one didn't come out, and then he was like oh okay, I see what people like and what they didn't like. Let me put that into rebel moon too. It was just like I'm doubling down on what I want to do as zach snyder, and it turns out that all of his choices are the wrong choices um, yeah, it's, it's pretty sad it's I.
Speaker 2:I mean I have. I have a lot of thoughts on this because I am, I like zach snyder and you've watched all of his movies.
Speaker 1:I've watched all of his movies.
Speaker 2:I enjoy a lot of them. I still and we disagree. Army of the dead is still one of my favorite movies of the last like five years. And then they made the prequel to that and it was horrible so you know, it's really hard.
Speaker 2:It's really hard to know what you're gonna get, um, but I here's what I'll say. It's interesting that you feel like they were on a green screen all the time, because while there, of course, there is some green screen, most of it is practical sets and then they just paint the background, as opposed to being on a soundstage Like. So all of the stuff that they're interacting with is real.
Speaker 1:Right, Let me rephrase that oh sure. Sure, you know, we, we both just got finished. Have you finished fallout? Oh yeah, yeah Big time we both have finished fallout and I really think that the movies, the two things I was sort of thinking about as I finished this, was Fallout and then Die Hard right.
Speaker 2:That's a high bar. Okay, no, no, no, but these are two things that you know.
Speaker 1:I could talk about other things that you don't know about, but you know those things very well we both know them very.
Speaker 2:Oh, really Dan.
Speaker 1:You think you know those things?
Speaker 2:very well, we both know. Really, dan, you think you, you know anything? That?
Speaker 1:I don't know. No, I didn't say. I just said this is, this is a, this is a level playing field that we could talk. Okay, I see, yeah, yeah, bring it up in fallout. We have character, character, character, character, character. Every character has an arc, every character, from top to bottom. At one point in fallout, when her weird little brother, when it was his story yeah, I didn't care about anybody else's story, I could care less about all those other stories, which is so weird best story by far.
Speaker 2:It's so weird to me I I don't disagree with you, that's. I'm not saying it's weird that you feel that way. It's just so interesting to me because when it first started and that the first time we jumped back to the vault after she leaves, I was like wait, what are we doing in the vault? Why?
Speaker 1:are we all of a sudden?
Speaker 2:back to where she we're following her journey turns out. It's just super interesting down there and he's great, everyone's great and I. The show's wonderful.
Speaker 1:I really loved that show and it was just like I mean it was probably twice as much movie as this movie, but you were just like. You have built every single one of those characters and and made their lives matter and made you fear for their lives and made the stuff going on with them, made you care about it, made you want to see where these characters were going next.
Speaker 2:Now, now, here's here's my question. Yeah, you want to see where these characters were going next. Now, now, here's here's my question. Yeah, what's the difference between the two? Because I have my opinions. Between fallout and this movie, the character work. Why does quote, unquote? Why? What did he? What did they do in fallout that they don't do in rebel moon? And the answer is make them characters. Right, that's like the big answer. My problem is these flashbacks in Rebel Moon 2 that we'll talk about.
Speaker 2:I think. I think he thinks that's character development. Yeah, I, which is not. It's the first. I mean for many reasons, but the biggest one is all of the stuff that we see in the flashbacks, doesn't matter where we are now. None of it comes into play. Like if somehow you put these backstories and it ties into how they win the fight. That's fine, that's cool with me. Right, it's still not character development, but it's still something interesting. Well, that's movie stuff.
Speaker 1:That's the movie stuff which is-.
Speaker 1:Okay, movie stuff, that's the die hard stuff, you know where they go through things and you build I mean, you know that's the whole thing is a die hard movie. Is there a lot of character stuff in die hard? There's some stuff, for sure, but it's really like the villain has his thing he's doing and then the other guy's screwing up what the villain's doing and then at the end they come together to to finish the, finish the situation Right. And this one, just like everything about the plot, you're just like well, that doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. This doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. You know, set it up so that it can't make sense because he has this whole.
Speaker 1:I'm making the whole universe and you're like no, no, you make Star Wars, which is the kid has to get off the thing. They got to move the plans and then we raise the stakes. You got to destroy the thing. This kid who shoots womp rats when he you know a single line early in the movie, lets us know this idiot has the skill to solve the problem has one skill I've been doing that since I was three years old and I've got the force and we can do this, we're like, oh, wow.
Speaker 2:As opposed to us seeing flashbacks of him as a kid, shooting them with a backstory, like when I was a child I used to go out in the fields and shoot womp rat. I won't, whatever the words you just said.
Speaker 1:I don't know star wars that well but that would even work in this one, I mean it would work, but it's less interesting my father died, and this is a character that you're not sure. If it's the character that we watch die in this movie or if it's a character that's a different character that died, I don't know. I still don't know if tarak's dad was the guy we saw kill in this movie wait what you quit, you know what?
Speaker 2:I don't even I'm not gonna know the answer. I don't want to. Let's not rehash that. Here's what I'm. Here's my point of it, though. Right, like because that backstory of him shooting the rats in in your, in your thing doesn't really matter. We don't have to see it. We get one line and you're like okay, I understand that about you, and then we see him do it later.
Speaker 2:Great, that's great, that's all I need I don't need a 10 minute story about how we used to do it so we can use it late. That doesn't make any sense to me and then so what I was gonna say in fallout. How much backstory do you get of the brother? What do we know about his backstory?
Speaker 1:very little, it's almost zero almost zero, barely know if he's older, but he's a real fucking character because he goes through some stuff and we watch him deal with it.
Speaker 2:So we understand him because we're watching him do deal with stuff. We don't deal with anything. A lot of stuff happens, dan, and we don't deal with anything in this movie.
Speaker 1:It's weird we watch that character step through a door and we have no idea what he's going to be confronted with on the other side of that door and you're like, oh shit, and it's the best part of the show what he's confronted with what it tells us and it it begins this collapse of of domino, you know, begins this thing of dominoes rolling that ends up with a finale and you're just like, oh, I get it now.
Speaker 1:They were, they were shepherding us to this place. This movie. Yeah, it's like, okay, I want to have this thing happen for five, ten minutes here and it's just going to happen. We're going to give every character their own flag and then those flags are going to hang outside and it's going to mean nothing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because honestly and now we're just going to kind of jump around a little bit, I think but when she's giving them these tapestries and she's saying why, part of me is like first of all, how do you know these things about them? You met?
Speaker 1:them two days ago.
Speaker 2:For three days happening right now, and you're just telling me I haven't seen them do these things that they're talking about. I don't understand. You can't just tell me their character I that does not connect me to them whatsoever. I didn't care about anyone in this movie. No, I. We've watched nemesis for a total of three and a half hours and when she died I did not care, is she?
Speaker 1:a robot.
Speaker 2:Is she a robot? She's had robot hands. What you didn't watch the movie, they tell you in a backstory dan, you know she's a human. She cuts off her own arms and gives herself arms for vengeance. I don't know, it was dumb, it's really stupid.
Speaker 1:Does she ever even?
Speaker 2:speak a word. Yeah, she talks a little bit. She talks a little bit. She talks a little bit, not a lot.
Speaker 1:The thing about characters is and Charlie Hunnam realized this in the first movie say something.
Speaker 2:I mean also, they don't have personalities. They're all dark and brooding. There's no levels to anyone. I don't understand. They all are all the same character. They've done slightly different things in their career paths, but they're all the same character. We you need to have Hans. Where's your Han Solo? Not that I want Han Solo in this movie, but Han Solo is a character. Chewie is a character, c-3po a character. Where are your characters? But how do we learn about C-3PO as a character? Chewie is a character, c-3po a character. Where are your characters?
Speaker 1:But how do we learn about C-3PO as a character? He?
Speaker 2:says stuff. He says stuff. He reacts to things, even though he's a robot, Like he's funny.
Speaker 1:He's great. He can't do a lot of things. He can barely move his arms, he can barely walk. So what does that leave you with? He barely walk. So what does that leave you with?
Speaker 2:He's got to say some things, Some clever witty things.
Speaker 1:Inform the world, inform how he sees the world. He's a coward. C-3po is a coward. Let's get out of here, R2.
Speaker 2:Wow, he's a coward. What kind of character is Tarek Guy with an X? What kind of character is General Titus A guy that?
Speaker 1:gives not very rousing speeches and sort of has a small amount of tactical logistics.
Speaker 2:Does he though, because the final battle is mostly him being like okay, now we're just going to run down this bridge at these guys, like the first setup is great when they're jumping out of the things and rocket launching, but then the last part of the plan is just run at them, dude if you talk about the pacing of action in this movie is just like it's insane.
Speaker 1:You have to set up a thing so that things happen compartmentalized, and then we cut between the things and the action continues and people reposition. It's a dance. A battle scene like this is a giant dance that you have to plot from beginning to end and have things happen where you know. You have to draw the map of what's happening. Oh, the rising excitement, the fall and then the comeback. I mean, it's a graph.
Speaker 2:Oh, you mean, the fight itself is a story Interesting.
Speaker 1:It's almost like it's a story and they have what's her name? What's her name Milius, the character that no one knows who it is.
Speaker 2:Is that the eyeline face paint or who's that?
Speaker 1:I thought it was the girl that was with them who I thought was one of the blood axes.
Speaker 2:But I don't know now if that was one of the blood axes.
Speaker 1:I don't know why only one of the blood axes went with them.
Speaker 2:Well, she's not a blood axe, right? She was just one of the rebels that the blood axes were leading, and a bunch of them followed Ray Fisher, who is Mr Blood Axe, but then they all died at the end of the first one in the ambush scene, except for her.
Speaker 1:She was the only survivor of the Blood Axe. Okay, Literally for the first half an hour of the battle we don't see her and then at some point she just pops out and I'm like what the fuck? Why haven't we used this character? I don't understand. Why is that? You know, it's like tight, he should, she should be with titus, and then titus at some point goes flank them and then shoot them with the thing, and then she has to do a thing. You're just like, oh my god, why is this happening?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's. Some of it feels like he's making it up as he goes in the battle, like he has points that he needs to get to, but he didn't write out how to get to the different points, so it's it doesn't. It doesn't flow. And also, listen, I you know i'm'm a Snyder defender. The slow-mo is gratuitous. But here's what I'll say In an action scene that you then just slow down when nothing's really happening, they're just kind of walking down a bridge and it's slow motion that ruins the tension for me. If you want to slow-mo something cool that's happening, I'm all for it. That's fine. I mean, I don't love it, but I'll allow it. But if you're slow motioning random shit for no reason in your climactic battle scene, you're killing me, you're. It's a slog. It's a painting. He's making a painting. I mean it looks pretty. I think I don't know if I'm alone in that, but it looks all right.
Speaker 1:Okay, here we go. We're going to start the movie.
Speaker 2:Are we not done with this movie?
Speaker 1:We have some nice titles. I'm like, okay, these are good. We got some music which I thought the music was good.
Speaker 2:We have a recap, the music in general I really enjoyed. Just to touch on a little bit at the top. I thought the music does a better job with the tension and feelings in the movie than any of the things on screen. That is true, that's all.
Speaker 1:So we're heading back to the moon, where the grain is right.
Speaker 2:Korra was hiding out there, velt, we're going back to.
Speaker 1:Velt, we've got Korra.
Speaker 2:We've got Gunner. Who's the guy from there who they're in love? Yeah, what were they in the first movie, dude? I re-watched the first one. They mention it charlie hunnam. So it just to recap real quickly charlie hunnam betrays them and captures them all in like the final scene, and then the bad guys come and he's gonna.
Speaker 2:He tries to make gunner kill cora, which doesn't make sense with this movie, but hold on to that thought. And he's gonna. He tries to make gunner kill cora, which doesn't make sense with this movie, but hold on to that thought. And he's like I know you're in love with her killer, something, you know, something like that. And I was like, wait, what he's in love with her? When did that happen? So that's when I first learned it. But then the rest of the movie happens. You know they don't deal with it at all. And then we go to this movie and they just tell me that they're in love and I'm like I don't think that that's. That's not love. I don't know what it is, but it's not love and it's their love, is I mean?
Speaker 1:okay, let me let me introduce the characters real quick and we'll get back. Then we'll do a couple minutes on their love cory all right then we've got titus. Who's uh? Digimonanzo? Who's the?
Speaker 2:admiral. He's a great actor. I love him. He's a great actor Wasted, but I love him, wasted in this.
Speaker 1:Nemesis, who is the sword-wielding woman who lost a kid or something and now she has to protect kids. Who knows?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they tried to tell you what happened in the first one too.
Speaker 1:She says I know her mother's's pain, so you must be on the money. We've got tarik, who is cornered, the barbarian tarzan who wields an axe, and then he's the snow elk, and then there's melius, who's the one blood axe, who's here, so that we have six people, even though he's faking he's doing fake seven samurai, so we really need seven people. So I'm like why don't we have six people, even though he's faking, he's doing fake seven samurai, so we really need seven people. So I'm like why?
Speaker 2:don't we have seven people? Well, because the seventh one died. You know already immediately. Okay, I don't know what to tell you. Mr blood x died within three minutes of being introduced, so charlie hunnam seven.
Speaker 1:There was mr blood x seven or with extra blood, Blood X seven or were the extra Blood?
Speaker 2:X's seven, bonus Seven, maybe eight. It's like a 7.5 down to six.
Speaker 1:So, cora and Gunner are in love and as soon as Cora falls in love with Gunner, she becomes smaller. It's the weirdest thing. This is not a character that. This is a character that feels like they're trying to hide in love, which is really weird, weird and not good for this character. And you're just like this is supposed to be. She's supposed to be your primary character. She's supposed to be the strongest character, right?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, she's supposed to be, but we take away a lot of her agency in this movie. Yes, up until the up until the end, like we kind of shift it to titus for some reason which is he's the big general. He is the big general, but she was also a big general, wasn't she what?
Speaker 1:was she in the war she?
Speaker 2:led something. She's the bodyguard. She's the bodyguard of the princess the bodyguard, and she's feared amongst the galaxy.
Speaker 1:I don't know she says she's supposed to also be the greatest warrior, which?
Speaker 2:noble should not be a better warrior than her.
Speaker 1:He's generally a better warrior than her.
Speaker 2:Well, he's pretty cool and he also might be a robot. I have some real questions about him.
Speaker 1:So, boom, they put him in the tank. He fell, but he didn't die. And so they just put him in a tank and he comes back. They Humpty Dumpty'd the shit out. Put him in a tank and he comes back. They humpty dumpty the shit out of him, yeah, and then he's just like I don't know where she is, we're gonna go get her hold on before you.
Speaker 2:So why I'm confused is when he wakes up in the tube. Right, he's got a flap of the back of his head that's up and there's a tube into his brain stem. What's?
Speaker 1:going on with that. It's just you know sci-fi things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, copy you. He's not a robot, so you know.
Speaker 1:He knows that they're returning to the, the grain planet. So he's all like I'm gonna go to the grain planet somehow they, they have days. You know, I guess they have days and days on him because he was in the tank. So he's like I'm gonna go to the grain planet and I'm gonna get her because she's the most valuable thing that there is, Right Cause, whoever brings her into the this, this Irish King guy who's like so horrible.
Speaker 2:So what's interesting is and I don't this is just me talking out of my ass here, but Charlie Hunnam in the first movie is doing some sort of mixture of like irish and maybe some like. He's got an accent that you can't quite pin down right. I feel like this, this leader guy is doing a similar accent. So I don't know if they talked about it and they're like this is a planet and we're both from the same place. I I don't know, but it feels similar to me, so I was like I buy it in this world. He's still awful. Let me just be clear.
Speaker 1:He's really bad. He looks like he's wearing all this weird makeup.
Speaker 2:He just has to be, he's just really strange.
Speaker 1:You're just like. I don't know what I'm looking at.
Speaker 2:Not quite human. That's what you're looking at.
Speaker 1:So he's like let's go, we got, we got one dreadnought. We're gonna go there with a dreadnought and we're gonna get her, and then that's the thing that's gonna be good. So, boom, we cut back to velt. Here we are riding the alien horses to the village because, um, you're gonna answer this one question for me how'd they get there? The horses they got from the first movie to this movie via horses, still like a Pegasus type of mixture.
Speaker 2:I bet Well we did Pegasus no I don't know, Dan. They don't show me that.
Speaker 1:Wait, a second Hold on, but I mean someone dropped them off and left.
Speaker 2:Maybe they stole Hunnam's ship.
Speaker 1:Okay, so shouldn't that ship be on the planet?
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe they called an Uber.
Speaker 1:See, that's like, it's stuff like that. Intergalactic Uber, but you're just like, okay, well, they're going to have that ship, because we do a whole thing about having Korra's ship, but having one ship from two years ago that may or may not run, but then it's like, oh, nevermind, it's fine.
Speaker 2:But yes, I agree.
Speaker 1:So weird. And also, if they did get dropped off by somebody, where did they get those horses? And if they did, get dropped off.
Speaker 2:Why didn't they just drop them off one foot from the village? Because otherwise we wouldn't have the westernness of it. Where they come in on horses they come back to town on horses like heroes.
Speaker 1:Okay, so it turns out that there used to be soldiers on here, but then they killed them all and then the one soldier like turned on them, so he's still getting radio transmissions. Um, and so he's. You know, he puts on his. When it goes boop, boop, boop, he puts on his uniform and acts like, oh yeah, everyone's here, they're all over there yeah, and this has been about for weeks or something for a week, for literally weeks.
Speaker 2:Here's this is my least favorite thing in this entire movie, for two reasons this is your least favorite thing.
Speaker 2:This is because in a movie that is crazy and bonkers. This makes the least amount of sense to me. You're gonna tell me that this guy who I just watched in the first movie is basically the lowest of the low. He's a private, Like he is nothing. No one knows his name, Nobody has ever seen him before. If he shows up on your screen when you're calling home and you're like who the fuck is this guy? I don't know this guy.
Speaker 1:He's like everything's great, we're doing good.
Speaker 2:That guy would say instantaneously, let me talk to the commander right like you sent it down, take it about.
Speaker 2:You said like a commander, a lieutenant, and like there was a hierarchy of people you left on this planet. You tell me they never once were like, hey, can, can we talk to someone who knows what's going on, please? And then that's already baffling. But then, once, uh, noble is awake, he watches one video call with him and he's like, well, so they're all dead. Then right, obviously this guy's faking it, they're all dead, we should go pick him up. Nobody else thought of that in weeks.
Speaker 1:That is batshit crazy and so this dude's like, how's the harvest coming? And he's like, yep, they're bringing it in.
Speaker 2:So good.
Speaker 1:The dude's like we'll be there in five days, and so we're like, oh, they put the you know click, start the clock, because now we know what the clock is.
Speaker 2:And if only that clock mattered to anyone in the movie Dan, If only.
Speaker 1:I mean it's the right idea.
Speaker 2:You know, put the clock on. It's always good. It helps the ante, except for if you don't care about it. Do not care.
Speaker 1:So they give them a feast and then they walk in there's all this food and they're just like where's everybody? And they're like everybody's too embarrassed because you've got to fight for us.
Speaker 2:What? What does that mean, Dan?
Speaker 1:They're farmers.
Speaker 2:They're not warriors, dan, they're farmers. They're not warriors, they're farmers in seven samurai.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, talk to me and that's this is why this movie doesn't, doesn't work. In seven samurai. It's a. It's a a bunch of bandits who go and steal from a bunch of villages and they take their food. And then that's how the bandits survive they just steal from the people who can't defend themselves which is a good move which is a good move.
Speaker 1:And so then the bandits, the, the farmers, take their, their meager amount of money and then hire seven samurai to come and protect them. And then, while this is happening, they find that, you know, the, the farmers want to hide their, the girls because they don't want the samurai having sex with their women. They find that the samurai have hidden armor and weapons from samurai that they've killed in the past, you know. And so things happen multiple times and like, like, at one point the bad guys are laying. You know, the farmers are inept at combat.
Speaker 2:Of course, right, yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:In this thing, everyone in the village is like oh yes, I'm a combat veteran who can kill everyone and no side of you. Do everything you know. And when they do the training thing in in seven samurai, there's ups and downs, there's a lot of them that are shit, but there's some that are good, sure, sure, oh, just like. But in this one, you know, this stupid movie, everybody's great.
Speaker 2:And then the band well, except for the women and children, dan.
Speaker 1:They're incapable of doing anything, which is such a weird moment for me, and so it makes sense when they fight the bandits that if they fight the bandits they might be, free of the bandits so yeah, yeah, of course, of course in this movie you're like the imperium is against you. You can't fight, right you're done.
Speaker 2:You're done, you're. You're 50 people, you're done. Just give up.
Speaker 1:I don't know and the other final point that I want to make is this is like this tiny harvest of grain from 60 people, and they act at times like the Imperium will fall if they don't get this amount of grain.
Speaker 2:Well, they do try to give you the what your Dan Goodsell movie line. And it's because in the next scene that we're about to see they're like, well, noble's dead, so there's no reason for them to come back. And then they're coming back and he's like, well, they must need the grain more than we thought.
Speaker 1:And they say, but they also say that.
Speaker 2:They say that the grain is their main thing, guys also say yeah, you're right, my point is moot.
Speaker 1:Ah, shoot no no, and if you're not paying attention you could maybe slip that through.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:But just the amount of expense that it's taking them with hundreds of army men it's like that grain is going to feed them, for like people on the ship for like three weeks, all the fuel that they're burning.
Speaker 2:That's expensive shit, man. Man, you can't just be moving dreadnoughts all over the galaxy on a whim, oh you can't, it's so expensive, okay, so they need the great.
Speaker 1:So they call the villagers and titus gives them the talk.
Speaker 2:We just wait, wait, wait, dad, hold on we took a really long break before those two things happened. So the at one moment they're like hey, where is everybody? And they're like, well, they're gone, they don't want to talk to you because they're embarrassed that you're fighting for them. And then two seconds later, titus is like hey, call your farmers. And he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, everyone round up and then they're just outside. It's a really weird transition that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:We're embarrassed, but if you call us in, we're not going to be embarrassed, not if you really want us to come, we'll come over.
Speaker 2:It's cool, it's cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's really weird, it's so funny. So he's like okay, they want the grain, so we're going to pile up the grain by the houses so they don't just nuke us from orbit. Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like that move if the grain really matters.
Speaker 1:We got five days, so we're going to harvest all the grain, which also For three days. In three days we're going to harvest the grain and you're kind of like, why don't you just not harvest the grain? Then they're going to be like, oh, the grain's not harvested. And then they're going to be like, oh, the grain's not harvested. And then they'll say you've got to come back in a week.
Speaker 2:Yep, that's smart who knows who knows.
Speaker 1:So we're going to harvest it in three weeks and then, by us harvesting together, then we're going to trust each other and you're like well, there's no mistrust in this situation.
Speaker 2:Well, they don't trust the seven samurai six samurai, right. Because that they don't trust the seven samurai six samurai, right. Because that's what the guy's saying. He's like cool, it's not. I guess you're right, because it's not that they don't trust them, it's just like, oh, we're embarrassed, they know they went off and did a whole big thing for them.
Speaker 1:You'd be like of course you're good. Why would you not? Why would you not trust them? What are?
Speaker 2:they? That's a great question. What?
Speaker 1:is the lack of trust. And what is the lack of trust? It's not like they've got a ship and they're like load half your grain on the ship and we're going to hide that.
Speaker 2:But we'll definitely bring it back, don't worry. No, I don't know, but I mean the great news is, the three days to harvest, two days to train a militia Makes perfect sense, perfect sense.
Speaker 1:Cora and Gunnar talk about fear and war. I losing you. They make out, they share a bed, yeah there's a moment.
Speaker 2:I don't remember exactly what she says, but she's like why did you do all this? And he was like it's you, it was always you. It's like I would have loved to have seen that. Just like even a little bit. You know what I'm like. In this movie he does one thing that is technically like, oh, it's because he loves her, but it doesn't work because I don't think that he loves her. It's a whole thing. We'll talk about it when we get there. But some of his actions in the first movie should have conveyed more that he loved her. I don't need her to return the feelings until until this movie, but he needs to be in love with her somebody was doing like a scam deal with the grain.
Speaker 1:Who was that?
Speaker 2:what do you mean? A scam deal?
Speaker 1:weren't they doing like a thing of like selling some grain? Yeah, he was gunner.
Speaker 2:He sold, yeah, so he sold grain to the blood axes. He sold their surplus to the blood axes, which was so when the bad guys came and were like hey, do you have grain, the main guy, the boss of the village, was like no, we have, we don't have any surplus, the lands aren't that fertile. And then Gunner is like nah, they are, he's lying, we have tons of access, we'll give it to you. And then they kill the leader of the village. It's a whole. It's super weird.
Speaker 1:So this gunner guy is an idiot all the time, but he's also like a scoundrel right.
Speaker 2:He should be. Yeah, but it's very muddled and that goes away in this movie. Oh yeah, we don't talk about it. In fact, they barely talk about it in the first one. The leader of the village is like don't think, I don't know where you sold our surplus. I know where it goes, and that's about as far as we get talking about it.
Speaker 1:Okay, so they're having sex and then he's like so why is everybody after you?
Speaker 2:Now we get the whole backstory of what's really happening, the first of many backstories that we don't really need.
Speaker 1:So the guy that's her fake dad, who like fake dad her and put her with the princess, he says you got to kill the princess because the princess is going to make it. So we don't do war anymore because this is our last dreadnought we're ever going to make.
Speaker 2:Now, can you, can you pause on that and remember that sentence? Because in the first movie, korra talks about protecting the princess and how she believes that she's the only chance for peace in the galaxy and that she's the biggest hope that we have. That's how Korra felt about it. Fast forward to movie two, she's like yeah, well, he told me I had to kill her and I was like okie doke. So super weird, doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:But also yeah, so I don't. I explain this war thing to me. Because who's profiting on the war? Because do they make their own warships and sell them to themselves? I don't understand.
Speaker 1:Make their own warships and sell them to themselves. I don't understand. I think it's just that they want to keep doing war, because war is fun.
Speaker 2:That's what? Oh, war is fun, okay I think he's like a.
Speaker 1:He's like a war.
Speaker 2:It's good, he's just like a pro war guy. Yeah, because peace.
Speaker 1:Well, it doesn't really explain why peace is bad, and I yeah, I know I mean, that's the thing. If you look at star wars, it's like they don't want to fight wars, they want to crush their enemies, but they want to have. They want, you know, the bureaucracy.
Speaker 2:Yeah they want to have control over it. Yeah, which is so. That's which makes sense. They're not just like I love to kill people and what? What other planets we got? Let's go nuke them.
Speaker 1:I don't know but I could see zack snyder thinking that that's what the bad guys really want. We just want to cause killing because it's killing yeah, look at general zod right look at general zod. Um, so then he's like the big guy's, like kill the prince, they kill the king and the queen.
Speaker 2:And then he's all like, and that's Cary Elwes, right the king.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's yes. Cary Elwes was the king. Yeah, why.
Speaker 2:Why do you hire Cary and not let him A do anything and then B just kill him?
Speaker 1:Because he makes some money.
Speaker 2:I don't get it Because you get him to some coin of the realm or you think they're just buddies and he's like, hey, you want to come in and make a couple mil, sure, I would do that.
Speaker 1:And so then they're like you gotta kill the princess. Why she has to kill the princess, no one knows.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know why? Well, because he's setting her up, yeah, the whole time. I'm not saying it makes sense, I'm just telling you the reason, dan.
Speaker 1:I guess. So In a court of law he could say she killed the princess, she did it.
Speaker 2:And then they'd be like. Well, who killed the king?
Speaker 1:And they'd be like, wow, she killed the princess, they fired from space. So, she points a gun at them. It was all like, and then the princess says I forgive you, and then they shoot. Her Princess turns into a ball of light.
Speaker 2:That's the only good line of this entire movie. Don't forget it. The princess says I forgive you, and then Cora says don't, and then blows her away.
Speaker 1:That's a nice line, sure In a bubble If Cora acted in some way like this truly did affect her, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah that's a nice line, sure In a bubble If Korra acted in some way like this truly did affect her.
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's why I say in a bubble it's a nice moment, I mean Korra should swear off all weapons or something when it's like I will not ever fight again. I will not ever fight again.
Speaker 2:That's great. It gets even weirder for me. Continue and I'll tell you where it gets weird. It should be very soon.
Speaker 1:So then she runs away and just easily.
Speaker 2:Why does she run away? She says it in the voiceover.
Speaker 1:She says I want to find.
Speaker 2:Gunner and then share his bed. I want to. I want to breed. No, she says the I figured the only I this I'm. I'm like going to butcher this quote, I'm sure, but the only way to honor her, the princess, was to run. What does that mean? That doesn't make Any sense to me. How is this Honoring the princess you just murdered?
Speaker 1:So she could Tell the truth, tell the truth.
Speaker 2:She's not telling the truth.
Speaker 1:She hasn't told anybody. She hasn't told a single secret.
Speaker 2:She ran away to a moon and then just was like no, I'm a farmer, now I'm a farmer. I'm honoring the dead girl that I murdered by farming and hiding she wanted me to hide.
Speaker 1:She should have said the princess should have said I forgive you now run right like I don't know.
Speaker 2:It was super weird, doesn't? Make any sense how do you get away? Well, she, I mean, they just let her get away. You know, I don't know why?
Speaker 1:okay? So uh, boom, uh, noble, noble's still back on the ship and they're all like we need to run tests, and then he shoots the doctor and then we do this whole thing about. He's got like a bonus scar because he didn't do a very good job and he's like I'm keeping the scar because she's the scar the scar giver and you're like now do we ever learn why she's called the scar giver already?
Speaker 2:because she gave him a scar? No, no, but that just happened. No, I mean previously. Who did she scar? Because she didn't scar the princess, she murdered her. So I'm just curious.
Speaker 1:Wait, you watched the first movie, I'm telling you.
Speaker 2:It doesn't tell you in the first one. I'm telling you right now. I have not yet learned the information. And I think that this is supposed to be the end, right? I mean, I know he wants to do more movies, but this is supposed to be like a full story.
Speaker 1:One and two are supposed to be a full story. A duology right, duology, no. I mean, is it supposed to make sense after this? I suppose he thought that, but I mean, didn't he write this when he was like nine years old?
Speaker 2:Well, he didn't write it then, but he's been thinking about it for a long time. Yeah, so he's all like.
Speaker 1:I have this kick-ass girl and she'll be called the Scargiver and she'll be the baddest ass badass in the galaxy. Why is she?
Speaker 2:called that. Well, that's great.
Speaker 1:Because I came up with that when I was young, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2:But as you grow, that's when you feel in the backstories Well no you figure stuff out and make.
Speaker 1:So we do the harvest. We do 45 minutes of them doing the harvest and holding grain and doing this. And Titus stops drinking. And now he's tricking everybody into thinking he's drinking, but he's really drinking water.
Speaker 2:Now did you get that until they told you that I totally got it.
Speaker 1:Oh, you totally got it, because Cora sees him do it To dunk it in the water.
Speaker 2:But what I don't see is him like boasting about drinking alcohol. You know what I mean, because it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't, that's what, and it I'm, it should right he gave up the booze in the first movie it's just ostensibly yeah, because then they had to go fight, right, so then he just gave it up again. I just don't get it, and I, if that is a character arc you want to talk about, is him finding himself again.
Speaker 1:I'm all for it, but he found himself in the first movie and this movie he's going through the motions of being an alcoholic to assuage people's fears. I thought you were an alcoholic and that's why you were good at your job.
Speaker 2:Because we all know that that happens all the time. I don't get it, man. I just don't get it.
Speaker 1:You want people to think you want your main leader person having everybody think that they're going to.
Speaker 2:Well, that's how you trick them, right? That's how you trick everybody. And he's like I fooled you, I'm stone cold, sober, and then I'll fight you, yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't get it. We do more harvest porn. The young girl brings them all the-. I mean it's excessive.
Speaker 2:It's excessive, it's weird.
Speaker 1:The other thing is you get to the end of it and they're all like, okay, that's the end of the three days.
Speaker 2:We're all good. Yep, I thought it was day one Day one I was like we got two more days of this.
Speaker 1:No wonder this was 19 hours long, long, oh boy so they give everybody their flags and then they do eating and dancing and then titus sings a song. I do believe during titus's song I took off my headphones and I didn't listen and, um, I didn't pay any attention because I hated that part so much wait what hold on.
Speaker 2:You're gonna have to explain to me why you hated it so much. What was the problem, Dan?
Speaker 1:If you're gonna, did he sing in a human language?
Speaker 2:No, he did not, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:If you're gonna sing me a song, the song has to tell me something.
Speaker 2:It can't just be, Well it tells you that he went to school and was in the choir. That's so. It's backstory. I don't, it's not. It's, it's, it's not. I don't. Yeah, I don't know if it's like, if it's an emotional song, I don't know if it's a song from his heritage. That means something.
Speaker 1:No, I don't know those things. We don't know anything about it. I still don't know those things.
Speaker 2:All I know is that everybody else gets silent and just watches this guy sing it and I'm like do they know what he's singing? Because they're not from his planet, right, so do they even know the language? What's happening right now? I didn't hate it, but was like this doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1:But I hated it because I knew it didn't make any sense I'm just like you are wasting time in your movie that just did a fucking 20 minutes on a harvest.
Speaker 2:Let's have a guy sing a song brace yourself, I'm gonna I'm gonna blow your mind right now. This and part one should not have been two movies, because there is not two movies worth of content in these two movies put together. There is at most one movie of content. You can remove the entire first hour of this movie and just tack on the final battle to the first movie and you pretty much have a full, complete story sure they can just get back and the harvest is in and they spend a couple of days getting ready and that's it and be like they're coming.
Speaker 2:We gotta train. We'll train a little bit and then we're gonna fight. That's all you need. I don't need 25 minutes of cutting down grain, even though some of these guys look really nice while they're doing it. There are some beautiful cut up men in this movie. Tarik looks great, titus looks I mean don't, but you know I don't need to see it there it is now. Here's why I was confused, and this is probably why I didn't hate the song so much, because I was already so confused by this scene. Why are they celebrating? They're celebrating the end of the harvest. Yeah, that's what you, even though they're gonna die in two more days.
Speaker 1:They don't care. No one cares that they're going to die.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. We put a five-day timer on this thing. Halfway through. We're going to celebrate. We haven't even trained at all. Nobody's run away you have to have people run away. Yeah, some deserters for sure, because they're all gonna die, dan like they should have all died. I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's so weird, you gotta wake up the next morning and go like we lost five. We lost blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah, blah they're like we're done but we don't know we don't know if there's anybody else lives on this moon. They might be the only ones living on the moon that's a good point.
Speaker 2:That's maybe there's no place to run away. I don't know. I don't know anything.
Speaker 1:We don't know anything because we there we don't know everyone exists as like an archetype thing yeah, they're monolithic. We're farmers and we care and we're perfect. No, you're not a bunch of people.
Speaker 2:Here's my big umbrella problem, right With, probably with Zach in general, world building. I enjoy he doesn't know how to flesh anything out. I think there are some wonderful ideas in this, some like there. There is a story in here that I enjoy in this, some like there. There is a story in here that I enjoy and I I really believe if somebody else had a written it and b directed it, it could have been a good movie, but he doesn't. I don't think he's a terrible director. I don't. I don't think he's a terrible director, but I don't think he should be directing what he wrote, because neither of those things have any human elements to them whatsoever. So then, put together, there's absolutely no. I have no relationship to anyone in this movie. I have no relationship to the movie itself because there's no human interactions. There's no real, genuine interactions. Nobody goes through anything. There is a beautiful world here. I think it looks stunning. I know that you don't love all. There's no human interactions. There's no real genuine interactions.
Speaker 1:Nobody goes through anything. There is a beautiful world here. I think it looks stunning.
Speaker 2:I know that you don't love all the green screen stuff. I thought this one looked better. I think this one looked a lot better than the first movie. You know why? That is probably it's because this is all practical sets on the farm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like they, literally. I watched the behind the scenes last night, which is interesting. It felt like they were in a place.
Speaker 2:Because they are.
Speaker 1:They did a lot of stuff that tried to dissuade you from thinking that.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:But if they'd have this place existed, it felt like it existed.
Speaker 2:And it did.
Speaker 1:And if they'd have figured out how everything happened in this space it would have been great.
Speaker 2:Which is interesting because they literally built it from the ground up. So they they should have had, like that should have been part of the planning, right uh, but they really grew the grain like that's real grain, that they're they're reaping. It's very interesting the way they did it. So I I think that that's why you feel that way, is because they really did create this, this part of the moon.
Speaker 1:You know what movie this idiot should have watched? He should have watched Saving Private Ryan, if you ever want to see the end of a movie go watch Saving Private Ryan.
Speaker 1:You got Barry Pepper up in the fucking Clark Watchtower. You know you're going to kill him. I fucking was going to hate them because they're going to kill him. The only character I cared about being the sniper Right. Put Milius up the tower. Milius is the sniper. Boom Milius is whenever something's going wrong. Boom Milius lays down a thing saves our guys. And that's the whole thing about a movie like this. As we're going to get into the battle, the battle is just endless. It's just like 1, 000 shots in this direction, 1 000 shots in this. Now, at one point they land like four or five things, six things, and they start marching out and then, like three other times, more tanks appear and more guys appear out of nowhere marching in formation, you're like it really it's's three times, there's three waves of it, and it doesn't really make sense to me.
Speaker 1:Make them fighting 100 guys and those guys spread out and those guys do things. We account for each of those 100 guys and 100 kills. And if you account for each of those guys in 100 kills, you've made a movie. This is not. This is like oh, now we got to make it feel like they're not going to win. Oh, all these tanks, then Milius is going to swim and then come out and do a magic thing from the swim. You're like no, you got to say we have five of these cluster bombs and each one of those cluster bombs we see go off has to have an impact on the battle, and when they waste one of them, they're just like fuck, we're so fucking screwed.
Speaker 1:You know, when you run out of bullets you're like fuck, we ran out of bullets. It means you know every life in fucking Private Ryan means something Matters Nothing in this thing. We don't care if our matters nothing in this thing, we don't care for our guys live or die, we don't care now I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, sure?
Speaker 2:the opposite side of that coin is I saw saving private ryan in high school. Okay, and I vowed never to watch it again. It is too emotional, it's too raw. So zach snyder probably feels the same way and he's like I'm gonna do the opposite of everything they did, because I want people to watch this over and over again well, your problem is they're not gonna watch it over and over again.
Speaker 1:They're gonna watch die hard over and over again because he sure am.
Speaker 2:I sure am also. But having said that, the I don't know if you heard about this, but he's releasing the R-rated Director's cuts at some point Of these two movies and I'm gonna watch them.
Speaker 1:Then it's like Charlie Hunnam walking around with his dick swinging. Is that what it's all about?
Speaker 2:There better be some male genitalia. I don't know, because none of the problems I have extend from it being A PG-13 rating.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying? They're going to show us when they cut off Noble's head. We're just going to see that. Yeah, probably that was the one thing I was like oh, we didn't see his head get cut off.
Speaker 2:Sure, and then the sex scene. I bet we get a little sexy time.
Speaker 1:I mean, she's hot yeah great.
Speaker 2:So is he. So is he. No, you don't like Gunner.
Speaker 1:He's fine as an actor and as a person. I'm like, oh he's fine.
Speaker 2:But in this movie, if he was a scoundrel I'd be like oh, I love this guy. Well, that's because I think he's supposed to be. They just forgot. They forgot about that part. They just forgot.
Speaker 1:So then they're like they dig six or seven foot high trenches everywhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in two days in without machinery and have you ever dug anything in your life, tony yeah, we used to dig uh gas lines she used to dig gas lines.
Speaker 1:What does that mean?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, we, because, so my dad owns a mobile home park and he would like come out there and be like tony well, your dad would for your dad, yeah yeah, I used to work with my dad sometimes, not often, because he gets mad at me he'd hand you a shovel and he'd say give us a six foot trench yeah, yeah, yeah, six feet by about a foot and a half, and then you got to go from the house out to the to the thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how long would that take? How long would that take you?
Speaker 2:that's summer, summer, those are my summers right, that's a summer, so we're talking weeks, fucking weeks at a time. It's the worst Anyhow. So yeah, I've dug some stuff and I don't enjoy it. That's what I'll say.
Speaker 1:Digging is a fucking nightmare because you're just like nothing is happening.
Speaker 2:I'm doing nothing here man.
Speaker 1:Nothing has occurred. Yeah, yeah it's not fun. I did it once one time, that's enough.
Speaker 2:Listen, I hear you. That's why God invented backhoes. That's why I don't have a yard. I don't even want a seagrass anymore. Okay, so, cora has her ship.
Speaker 1:It's been sitting out there for Two years, two seasons.
Speaker 2:I assume that's the same as a year, but they say seasons. They do say seasons.
Speaker 1:They go out there and with ropes and horses and men going like this, they pull it out. They don't pull it out anywhere, it's just sitting there. They pull it like halfway to the village and then she just gets in it and fires it up and it flies normally. They pull a couple of branches out of it. You're like what, what?
Speaker 2:it's so good. It's so good. My favorite part is that there he they mention it twice in a row, just in case you didn't understand what they're doing. She is, she is talking about her ship, but she's like oh yeah, it's been there for two seasons. And then there's a voiceover of Titus being like Korra ships out in the woods for two years. We're going to go pull it out and I was like those happen back to back. I don't need both of those informations to tell me what you're doing and then you show me you're doing it. It is wild stuff. Oh, it's great.
Speaker 1:Talk about some filler so now we have the tony's favorite scene by far, which is the men, all the people, all our guys hang out in the in the common room and then we all tell stories of our backstories, which is how you're going to make this movie three hours when you add all the things, you're gonna all these things are going to be fleshed out and you're going to want to kill yourself and basically titus talks about how he he rebelled and so they killed all his men, and then he says I'll never surrender.
Speaker 2:Now, wouldn't that be interesting if he had to deal with something like that again. Yep, sure, yeah, you set up a really like. His is my favorite backstory, I think, and because it's the one that would be easiest to incorporate into this movie oh sure sure, sure, sure. Which I could have sworn they were gonna do.
Speaker 1:I could have, I would have put fucking money on it you know, every time we went into one of these things, my eyes glazed over and I paid zero attention to what's happening because I knew it meant nothing I was enraptured with the screen.
Speaker 2:I was like, yes, zach sny is going to dole out some of these things. And then, as we see the movie unfold, I'm going to cry, because these people are overcoming their obstacles Instead of that. None of this means anything at all, and I'm just mad.
Speaker 1:Milius was in a labor camp. There was something with Nemesis.
Speaker 2:Tarek's dad died and then he had to watch his dad be dead well, tarx and his mom jumped off a thing because, well, basically, his dad went to the mothership people I forget all their names imperium, whatever, yeah, yeah, the imperium and he was like, hey, what's up? And then they killed him and then they came and invaded his planet and his mom was basically like, again, they don't show this very well. But his mom was like, hey, what's up? And then they killed him and then they came and invaded his planet and his mom was basically like, again, they don't show this very well. But his mom was like, you need to run, preserve the bloodline. And then she kills herself, which is interesting, but it doesn't matter at all. He should be like, who cares if he's a prince?
Speaker 1:he should be spreading that taric seed everywhere great, yeah, you get the bloodline out there.
Speaker 2:buddy, do something. But what he says? He says something to the effect of like it doesn't even matter because the bloodline is dead. And I was like, no, it's not, you are the bloodline. That's the whole point.
Speaker 1:That should have been.
Speaker 2:Tarek should have been this fucking uber creep and he should have been like macking on every girl, or he should have just been a really sexy fuck boy, because I think he could pull that off or he could be, you know he'd just be like come here just slinging the d all over the place. He should go planet to planet planting his flag, growing some children's damn.
Speaker 1:I'll watch that movie so then core, they get to car and car is like no, mr tall, nothing, I'm just you know whatever don't know. And then Titus is like I know exactly who you are in subtext, but I'm going to go like why don't you tell us your story? She's like nothing to tell and he's like really, and you're just like, are you sure? I'm sorry, but if you're the most wanted person in the galaxy, would they put like a poster up somewhere?
Speaker 2:Just one wanted poster.
Speaker 1:You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean, or like a galaxy-wide signal that shows her picture somewhere.
Speaker 1:Now we're going to do a thought experiment, because this show is not going to be long enough. Okay, Korra then says I'm the Scargiver. I'm the one who they say killed the princess. How's anyone at this table gonna react? I?
Speaker 2:don't know. I don't know, and yeah, do you know why? We don't know? Because none of them are characters, none of them have any characteristics that tell me how they would react to finding out that she's the most wanted person on the planet. As far as I can tell, they'd all be like, okay, cool, we all got shit in our past, buddy, it's fine. I don't know, so dumb.
Speaker 1:Someone would probably say why did you do that? And then she'd say I didn't do that, I was framed. And then they'd be like up the Imperium.
Speaker 2:That makes framed. And then they'd be like up the imperium, that makes sense. Classic imperium, guys. Classic, let's get them. Also. Let's talk for a second because we didn't really about gunner. When she tells them all those things, gunner's just like that's cool. Should we do it again? Like he just rolls back over, it's like I want to bang it. This whole thing is weird, dude it's, there's nothing.
Speaker 1:And then, yeah, someone calls out titus for not being a booze hound and the entire goes intense. He's like well, cora does that.
Speaker 2:To take the, attention off of her. Yeah, yeah, that's. It's a pretty funny line. He's like oh, that is water. Who cares, guys, who cares?
Speaker 1:cora goes and flies the ship into the water cave and the robot is there. His name is james. Did we know his name was james from the first?
Speaker 2:well, they call him jimmy. They're jimmy's, so she's doing like a formal version of jimmy, which is james, I guess.
Speaker 1:So we would have had to remember that they call them jimmy's from the first movie that she's doing a bit.
Speaker 2:Well, if you watched the first movie the night before you watched this one, you'd remember, okay, because there's a scene, when they first open it up, where one of the bad guys is like whoa, they left us a Jimmy Whoa. So you'd remember Dan.
Speaker 1:And then he's like, oh, I'm a robot and I don't know what's happening. And she's all like gotta choose the side and then nothing um, the robot was the only thing interesting about the first movie. Yep, once again, here it is. The robot shows up and I'm like they're really not going to utilize this robot again and I'm just going to be like what the fuck is your fucking?
Speaker 2:problem. It's so weird to me because they've set up a wonderful narrative for Jimmy, like he was the king's guard when the king and the princess. He was protecting the princess. When they died he lost hope and direction. A fucking robot is lost. It's whatever it is that tells his programming and it's like I'm feeling lost. I don't know what to do. And he doesn't pick sides, he's just like a lost robot. Show me this humanity arc for the robot. It's beautiful. It would be a wonderful story.
Speaker 1:Now hold on a second. So he was supposed to be protecting the princess, and the person who killed the princess is standing there next to him and we never deal with it.
Speaker 2:We don't even mention it. How bizarre is that it gets stupider first of all, it can't get stupid in that you have a wonderful moment where this robot who's lost his purpose for life has the chance to confront the person who took that from him and then overcome it for the greater good. Wow, what a tale that would be. Nope, nah, we're just gonna have him show up randomly and fight and then disappear again, jesus.
Speaker 1:So Noble's plan is he's going to send his Sardaukar down to the one house where the women and children are, which, like our people, should know that that's going to happen, but we never figure out if they know that it's going to happen or if they don't know that it's going to happen.
Speaker 2:I'm leaning towards. They don't know it's going to happen, which is bizarre, because, of course, of course it's going to happen. In all honesty, they should be putting the men up there as a decoy to be like. This is where we fight and then they come attack and then we murder the shit out of them.
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, I wrote Korra's haircut. Is that just because she has a great haircut and you love it as much as I love?
Speaker 2:it. First of all. You do love the short hair, so that's probably why you wrote it. But she cut it because that's how her hair was back in the day when she was in the Imperium.
Speaker 1:So that's like her war cut, looking like a Nazi cut. Got it? Yeah, here come the ships. Big ship comes in. Big ship. Beautiful Little ships come in. Little ships look great. Ship design just great, just flawless. They look great, they integrated perfectly. You're just like why? Why do you want such great special effects on nothing? They feel real, they feel like they take up space, they have great movement to them.
Speaker 2:I mean, let's be honest, they're more real than the characters in the movie.
Speaker 1:So Noble comes out and they're going to parlay, and he comes out and he's like I've got a scar from you and I'm the scar giver. Oh, there it is. And then, and he's like I got a scar from you and I'm like the Scargiver Ho ho. There it is. Ho, ho, hee, hee. And then he's all like all I want is you, you just got to come, Scargiver's got to come.
Speaker 2:Well, let me ask you something, dan. Yeah, because him and Korra meet and he's basically like what do you want out of this? And core is like, wow, we're gonna, I'm gonna give you one chance to leave before we kill you.
Speaker 1:She doesn't ever just be like oh hey, I'll give you, I will give you myself if you leave these people alone well, the idea is that he I mean I, I see what you're saying, but he has to be the one that believes that she's worth leaving for she can't be.
Speaker 2:Sure sure.
Speaker 1:Offensively. He's just going to say I'm just going to take you, what the fuck? I'm going to take the green and you.
Speaker 2:That's what he should say that's true, you're 100% right.
Speaker 1:She should go up there and offer just take me and leave these people alone.
Speaker 2:And that makes sense. Like why would I need to do that? I'm just gonna fucking wipe everyone off the earth and take you with me, because or not earth, sorry moon now. But the reason why I want her to do that is because that is titus's storyline that you said earlier. Titus gives himself up to save his men and then the bad guy is like ah no, I'm going to kill him anyhow. How do we not just do that again? How do we not have like a callback and Titus is the one like don't believe him, don't believe him. It's just weird to me, man.
Speaker 1:Oh no, it's stupid. And it's stupid because this movie, all the character stuff is stupid. Okay, let's see what happens now.
Speaker 2:Well, now is the moment that I was talking about earlier, where Gunner takes things into his own hands, I assume out of love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because now she's agreed to go with.
Speaker 2:So he's being selfish, right, and I just don't buy it. I don't buy it. I don't think that he would do it.
Speaker 1:It would be an interesting character choice if he doesn't do it Right. And if Titus does it instead, and that's the whole thing. Yes, someone at some point says, oh, he probably wouldn't have gone for what he was offering, and that's true, but that should be tight as saying that, because he has lived through it, gunner, should be like if we could all live and you die, and then we're like holy shit, what a piece of crap. I'm very sad. I'm very sad that that's going to happen, but we have to pick you have to save the world and not spock dan goodsell.
Speaker 1:That's dan goodsell's like I love you baby.
Speaker 2:But sorry, sorry, sorry, tony, I love you baby, see you later. I'm sorry, tony, but and I get it gonna have to go get it you know.
Speaker 1:And then titus has to, then titus has to say he will never he. This is an unhonorable man.
Speaker 2:And then he picks up the thing and starts swinging, and Korra's like no, and Gunner's like no, and Noble's like ah, yeah, battle. And then gong, and then we fight.
Speaker 1:See, that would have improved this movie just a ton, because then you could play off of that. You could be like oh, oh, this is who gunner is gunner's yeah, then we have character choices that matter and define somebody.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, what a shock.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh boy, because titus knows they're full of shit, yeah, and the two of them are making a choice based on love and caring about themselves and about the village and about the people. Blah, blah, blah. They're a bunch of stupid. Farmer fucks, um. And then it all begins. There's just a giant fight. It has begun, um the bad. Our guys pop out there, shoot one of the ships. It blows up which I thought was cool, that was cool. And then everybody fights and at some point they go to the longhouse and the and the women and children are sorted there and Nemesis there is scraping up the ground.
Speaker 1:Her thing she does is she cuts the ground a bunch first, because that's how you start a battle Cut the ground.
Speaker 2:Does it sharpen the swords? I was trying to think of a reason that it might be. Because, it looks cool. It does look cool, but there's not like a practical reason for it. It's weird.
Speaker 1:So eventually she kills all the people and she gets killed. This little stupid kid has to come up and stab the final guy so that she can kill him. And I hated that kid. I probably hated that kid the most of all things. Oh, this poor kid.
Speaker 1:Why I hated that stupid kid Just because it's so self-serving and so like I'm building stakes into there because she looks at this kid and has to protect this kid, I'm like that's not, that's not how you build stakes. You build stakes by them having a relationship of talking and that's that's all in the seven samurai is, and in and in the magnificent seven goddamn Charles Bronson the three little kids are like always they're always like he's all like putting up with their bullshit and being cranky, and then when he dies, they're all like super sad and it's sad.
Speaker 2:It's sad. You're sad. Yes, you know that. Okay, that does make sense, because I was like this feels really out of nowhere and you didn't, you're not building it, they had. They've only interacted one other time in the movie her and this child he like came and tickled her nose with wheat and she grabbed it.
Speaker 1:That's it, man. She made me think about that. I don't even want to.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, but so she's the one that apparently has mommy issues, right? Yeah, I know a mother's pain. It's she's the one that apparently has mommy issues right, I know a mother's pain. She's the perfect candidate to grow a relationship with this child, and then when she dies, I'm crying, right. How do you not do that?
Speaker 1:Oh well, this is how you do that. You have a shot of the kid, then you have a shot of her looking emotionless. Then you have a shot of the kid. Then you have a shot of her looking emotionless. Then you have a shot of the kid. Then you have a shot of her looking emotionless, then you have a shot of the kid.
Speaker 2:If you do those shots enough times then we're gonna feel it oh my god, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye you know, as opposed to like her.
Speaker 1:Like you know, her arm gets chopped off and she's just like I'm gonna keep going. And her other arm gets chopped off. And then she puts a sword in her mouth and she's like, ah, kill you, I'll kick you to death. Ah, kill you yeah.
Speaker 2:Having just a nice struggle Struggle fest.
Speaker 1:I mean none of these fights mean anything. None of the fights mean anything ever. You never feel like, oh fuck, she's gone, they're losing, our team's losing. Oh our team's coming back. Here comes our team Team.
Speaker 2:Now is that choreography? What?
Speaker 1:I was trying to figure out what.
Speaker 2:I, it's everything yeah.
Speaker 1:I was just like.
Speaker 2:Is there one weak point here that's making me not care about the hour-long battle you've put in here? Well, you're probably right.
Speaker 1:It's just probably a mixture of all of it. There's no, there's no story to the fight. There's no, it's nonsensical. Well, I don't care about anything if everything's slow motion no one can talk never forget that.
Speaker 2:Well, because have you ever? Have you ever heard people talk in slow motion?
Speaker 1:it's just silly you don't want to do it. Oh no, okay. So then Noble rages on everyone. Okay, noble has to fight this buff farmer. So our main character we see battling at the beginning is this buff farmer who we've seen before. We don't know his name, we learned his name in the first one. Oh, I'm sure his name is floating around.
Speaker 2:I feel like he was supposed to be Korra's husband. Oh sure, bummer Gunner and bummer, gunner, bummer. But then she was like I'm not into it, and then I don't know, I don't remember. I saw it, it didn't really make sense. So this dude is the one who is constantly fighting him for the whole.
Speaker 1:First of the thing, you're just like why are we spending time with this guy? This is our name in the movie. He should be fighting tarik or someone. That's our fighter, that is our best fighter.
Speaker 2:Nope, nope we have this guy side of dude and then he gets thrown out of the thing and we're like wow, it's an epic slow motion, as if we were supposed to really care about it.
Speaker 1:Uh, I don't know and then, oh, then then, while this epic gunner is riding cora up to the ship on the, on the thing, so they've, they've left.
Speaker 2:This is the only thing I liked.
Speaker 1:And then, oh, has it not happened yet yeah, so when some of the so when they're having problems, some of the ships leave to go back, including noble, and cora is on one of those ships and then she's on her ship and she fakes them out yeah, they put some sort of gas container yeah, they put, so it looks like they're looks, like they're having it looks like they're.
Speaker 2:they have yeah, they have ship problems, which I thought was was a really cool way to sneak into the ship. I thought that was a neat moment. That's it Totally good.
Speaker 1:Noble's on the ship. Everyone down there is let's fight or die. His objectives become ill-defined. Farmer's set off a bunch more bombs um. The battle rages on. Do they win? I don't know. Uh, wahoo, they do a wahoo, and then more people just march out this is our second wave comes in yeah, and then there's a tank, and so they start dealing with tank tor.
Speaker 1:It core is on the ship. She kills everybody in the elevator. Um, then she's like, gunner, you go back to the ship, you know, turn it on and then I'm gonna go plant the bombs. So she takes off to shoot bombs. Now millius finally pops out and does some stuff and then the, the bad guys stop caring about the green. At this point millius is in the river Korra, plants the charges on this big engine. There's no. You know, tony, if you were to go to the engine of the Queen Mary or some large ship, do you think?
Speaker 1:anybody works there?
Speaker 2:On the Queen Mary. Sure, well, not the Queen Mary. I don't let's say a cruise ship, because that ship is being commissioned. You're on a cruise ship. You're on a cruise ship.
Speaker 1:You're on one of those 20,000-person cruise ships, the big engines, do you think anybody?
Speaker 2:works there? I would say probably. You know, I've never been to an engine room, but I think you have to have someone, or at least someone that would check on it. Maybe, I don't know, I mean, it's not like the old days where we're shoveling coal into a fire, but I do think someone would have to man it.
Speaker 1:At one point some guy shows up after she's planted it. They fight, Then she falls down over the rail. And what's happening down below?
Speaker 2:It looks like they're shoveling stuff into a fire, am I right? Was I crazy? I just thought that was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, runs on coal. Now are those who are those people? Those? Are those also bad guys, or are they like slaves?
Speaker 2:they're bad, they've made them bad guys, but they should be slaves they should be and they should help with the uprising, right, like I thought. For sure that's what was going to happen, but it didn't. I got really confused. Um, now I have a question. When she puts the charges on it, is it a face and the eyes like light up, right, because what does that mean? It's angry because it doesn't want to get blown up, but it doesn't tell anyone, it doesn't say help help me. I don't know, I don't get it help me, I'm the giant engine.
Speaker 2:You don't want to get blown up, hey it's mr engine, someone come down here like I don't, I don't understand it. It's me, mr engine. I don't want to get blown up. Hey, it's Mr Engine. Someone come down here.
Speaker 1:Like I don't understand it. It's me, mr Engine. Why do they even care about me? Pay some attention to me. Help, help, chorus, chorus, down here. This is weird, then they decide they're going to fire on the thing, and so they have to like slowly the big gun.
Speaker 2:He does a hand crank, dan, he's doing a hand crank. What is happening? We're shoveling coal into a furnace. We're hand cranking a gun. We're flying around the cosmos. What's going on?
Speaker 1:This isn't like an airship in a steampunk world, Like we are traveling the galaxy. And he's so weird, it's so incongruous to everything else that's happened, so they're still battling. The third wave is coming. Tarek and Titus are like hiding, and then, but he wants to live. He's like I'm going to live still. And then there's one last take here it comes, and then the robot's like oh, it's robot time.
Speaker 2:And the robot goes For no reason. There's no build up to it.
Speaker 1:Nope, there's no reason. Nothing has changed. The robot hasn't had anything where he's like.
Speaker 2:oh okay, there's no epiphany. He doesn't see someone, someone he can't like. So he loves this blonde girl. I don't know if you remember that from the first one, but that he saves the first time. He fights us to save this blonde girl. She should die.
Speaker 1:She has to die he has to see her die, and then he's like oh fuck, I gotta kill these sons of bitches, gotta die.
Speaker 2:I don't understand absolutely her head you set it up.
Speaker 1:He's up there. He's up there on the ridge and her head just like oh and this? It explodes and this body just falls back and goes. Pfft, oh my God, you know like everything's twisted. Oh God, I don't know if you've seen those. Have you seen those horrible commercials where the poor people's hands are like this and they can't put them on a?
Speaker 2:thing. Oh God, no Because terrible things are happening. Oh no.
Speaker 1:Oh, we keep seeing it. It's a terrible commercial.
Speaker 2:I mean I want those people to get help. They're targeting you because you're old, just so you know. That's the kind of ads you're getting.
Speaker 1:The TV. That's all it does is target me because I'm old.
Speaker 2:Just tells you how old you are.
Speaker 1:So boom, her head just vaporizes, just like a neck. It's not even squirting blood because it's cauterized by the cauterized. Yeah, he sees it from up there and he just, like he just, launches himself all of his lights turn red, and then he, just he comes down he like just murders everyone murders every, and it should just be like insane yeah, they should not even yes that's slow motion where they don't even you know.
Speaker 2:It's like the goddamn, tearing them apart he just like, and then the good guys have to watch and be scared.
Speaker 1:He's just re-sculpting them out of existence. More importantly, he's gotta jump in that tank and just like, and then he just takes over the tank and he's just like, just like, everyone is dead and then it's all hand cranking, but his head's like this Robot hands. How long do you think he was in this part of the movie?
Speaker 2:45 seconds to a minute. It was 90 seconds. Okay, that's good. I thought it felt really short, but a lot of the rest of the movie feels really long, so that might be it, and then he's gone again. Oh yeah, until the end, when we do the last team up. He's there, but he's just gone again. I don't get it.
Speaker 1:He should have launched himself and shot up to the dreadnought.
Speaker 2:Got shot right through the engine. Yeah, good stuff. I don't know. It's so weird. It feels like you set that up for two movies and then just forgot because it's clearly there. I don't know so, but instead he just decides to fight for no reason.
Speaker 1:So they're still for about four minutes in the movie just moving this gun we have, uh, we have the thing moving this gun. We have the thing, we have the thing, we have the thing. Another thing, another thing. He goes I'm pushing the button, I'm going to push the button, I'm getting ready to push the button.
Speaker 2:I'm going to push the button. I'm right above it, I'm hovering, here we go. Then the ship explodes. Which of course throws the gun off course. The hand cranked gun suddenly moves freely.
Speaker 1:More importantly, why is the gun on the top of the ship?
Speaker 2:That's a great question. It has to be on the bottom, because that's where guns go. I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's like because, honestly, how do?
Speaker 2:you even aim that you have to like tilt the ship just to aim down, then it's so weird, you got to be far away enough so that you have like a very shallow angle, it just doesn't make it.
Speaker 1:It's like battleships sitting on the ocean, pointing up.
Speaker 2:If you're above your opponent, you put the guns on the bottom.
Speaker 1:It's so weird, Like why is that a choice you've made so insane? Now we got the battle on the poop deck.
Speaker 2:Is this the poop deck? What's the poop deck Is?
Speaker 1:that the bathroom. No, the poop deck is part of a ship. I don't remember where the poop deck is on the ship.
Speaker 2:Oh, all right, you're talking pirate terms, eh, Arr.
Speaker 1:There are two movies that have already done this before. Okay, what are the two movies that have done this before?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Pirates of the Caribbean? No, what are we talking about?
Speaker 1:The ship is crashing and now we're dealing with an angle-based battle. Hmm, with an angled piece to battle.
Speaker 2:Hmm, did the Avengers do it? No, it sounds like something the Avengers would do. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know who do you got James Cameron in the last Avatar movie? I can't remember a single frame of that movie, dan, I'm just going to tell you that right now, at one point, the big boat that they're fighting on is all angled like this Okay, and that's the whole thing. But the real movie that did it was Deadpool.
Speaker 1:At the end of Deadpool, when they're fighting on a helicopter, oh yeah, the helicopter is like this and at a certain point we have Jeopardy. They start the fight up on the helicopter and then Jeopardy increases and we go to this position. We're like, oh man, it's almost like you're making a fucking movie. That makes fucking sense. At one point he puts a girlfriend back in the pod and then he does a thing where he flips it so that it'll fly free and she will live. And he doesn't sacrifice himself because he's Deadpool, but he does a thing, but he'll get hurt. He has to figure out a way to save the human being that he cares about. Wow, it's almost like a movie.
Speaker 2:Almost Side note the trailer. I'm very excited about Deadpool and Wolverine.
Speaker 1:They battle.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I will say I did enjoy some of this fight where they're sliding down the ship, though.
Speaker 1:I mean it's okay. I mean it's okay, yeah, it's okay visually I just mean, I was like oh, this is interesting it's too extreme, it's too much, and you're just like how are they going to get off of here? And I thought there was escape pods, but they weren't, they were just things falling off. And then somehow they they fight with noble and then gunner finally cuts him, and then they cut his head off. And then somehow, in the midst of this, they work their way back and board a ship.
Speaker 2:Now, ostensibly they have fallen. Yeah, I don't know, a thousand feet A long ways they were falling for a while, long while, and yet they could just get right back to the ship. I don't know about that.
Speaker 1:Get back to the. I mean I assume the ship was falling. They could just get right back to the ship. I don't know about that. Get back to the. I mean I assume the ship was falling into the. I don't know, I guess yeah, you're right.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I don't know. I don't know Dan.
Speaker 1:Whatever. So they just escape in the ship. This giant ship crashes into the earth.
Speaker 2:As I remember it in the is it movie or the second one, when the someone picks up a whole city and then they drop the city, and then they were saying that that's two age of ultron.
Speaker 1:If you drop the city that way, it would have destroyed the entire earth yeah, because of the what's this? The shock wave or whatever the fallout thing, yeah I can't imagine these people that are a mile or two away from this ship when it crashes in there, that anyone is going to be alive.
Speaker 2:It's the fallout rule, right? So you do the thumbs up. If the ship is bigger than your thumb, you're dead. Oh, is that what it is? I mean not really, but that's in fallout the show.
Speaker 1:That's what they say.
Speaker 2:If the blast is bigger than your thumb, you're dead.
Speaker 1:But if it's smaller you should run because you might be able to survive. You know you can't crash this giant ship, no.
Speaker 2:No, there are repercussions to the land.
Speaker 1:Gunner is dying. Gunner eventually dies. Who the fuck cares? I wish I cared. And then the bad guys are in ships and then the rebel blood axes show up and just kill them all.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Now where did they come from? They came from off planet, right?
Speaker 1:It's almost like you should have sent them a message and they should have said we can't make it. It's almost like you should have had communication about something there's going to be a dreadnought here. We could use your help cleaning them up. They don't have telephones. Okay, it sure seems like they have hand crank guns, dan they don't have telephones sure seems like they have an imperium, imperium, uh, radio that's sitting in the barn that can contact people over infinite amounts of space, that's.
Speaker 2:It's a one-way communication device. Uh, those are set up on. Uh hard you know, Static IPs. I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know.
Speaker 1:So Gunner dies and it gets to the end and they know they've won.
Speaker 2:Wait, wait, wait, hold on Wait, I want to talk about Gunner dying. We're almost done. Because Cora, she's like don't die, don't die. And then she goes why can't I have this one thing? She makes his death about her. What is happening? Does she really say? 100, says why can't I have this one thing?
Speaker 1:it was the weirdest thing I've heard in this entire movie I didn't hear that line because I was so checked out, but that is the greatest line in the entire movie.
Speaker 2:It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1:Why can't you just have one thing? Why me, why? Me God, oh shush, shush, shush Connor, why me Unbelievable, but my favorite part is Titus comes out there and they've won, and he goes, and then everyone goes, yeah. It's so embarrassing, you know if you're a real human being and you get there and something like that. You'd just be like fuck.
Speaker 2:God damn man. Everyone died.
Speaker 1:You'd just be like what the?
Speaker 2:fuck.
Speaker 1:They act like there's glory in what has occurred here.
Speaker 2:And there is no glory in what has occurred here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a tragedy. And you go watch Seven Samurai and you realize it's a fucking at the end of that movie. They're not like we're the greatest, they're just like we're fucking not dead. We're going to be able to walk out of here and live to fight another day, which is not a fucking great thing necessarily.
Speaker 2:Not that we really want to do that at this point.
Speaker 1:We're pretty fucked yeah, okay, then we have the big memorial.
Speaker 2:The stargiver comes clean the memorial's funny to me because the guy's giving a speech and he's like we'll honor the dead the only way we can, by harvesting more, and I just he does not say that. It's not exactly what he says, but he says we'll remember their names on every harvest, as if that fucking matters to anybody.
Speaker 1:So she comes clean and then Titus is like oh, there's one thing you didn't know.
Speaker 2:The princess is alive. How does he?
Speaker 1:know that Time out, time out. Titus, hold on. How does he know that time out, time out, time out that is.
Speaker 2:That is hold on. You're drunken in the gutter and you know that the hope of the universe is alive does nothing, absolutely nothing.
Speaker 1:I will not communicate this information to it. You know like have like one of the blood axes be like this important message just in for Titus, and he opens it and he's like the princess is alive Great. Yeah, something.
Speaker 2:Or even bring us the information. He's so certain about it. I don't like how certain he is about it. If there was, like I've heard rumors, there's a fancy fairy lady who has angel dust is on this planet. It could be her, you never know, or something. But he lady who has angel dust is on this planet. It could be her, you never know, or something, but he's. So he's just like yeah, she's alive, yeah, she's totally alive.
Speaker 1:I don't know where she is, but she's alive, she's super alive well, no, and he makes it sound like he's got concrete evidence that he knows he's so sure he's he's a hunt.
Speaker 2:It's not. There's no doubt in his mind. He's like she's definitely alive. I spoke with her last week. We played Parcheesi online. I know she's alive. So terrible, it's super weird.
Speaker 1:What a fun movie. They're all going to go find the princess. That's going to be the next movie, and Robot's going to go with him.
Speaker 2:For no reason, because he hasn't gone through anything. It's bizarre. So I was trying to decide which one I liked more. Yeah, and I think I liked the first one more.
Speaker 1:I think it was because Charlie Hunnam was a character and he was in the movie.
Speaker 2:It's just this much better. You know what I mean. They're both pretty mediocre to bad. So there's just a little bit of character in that first one and it really pushes it over the edge I think nemesis fights that spider, so that's like a little better.
Speaker 1:Some of the fights are individual fights and so they're just a little better because they're actually something is sort of happening. You can kind of enjoy nice yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:But they also don't make a ton of sense, like there's no reason she's fighting this spider because it's a mother that lost her children to pollution, but then she stole the human's child because they're polluting it. And then she's like I understand you, cause I'm a mother but I'm going to kill you anyhow to save the child, and then that doesn't really mean anything to my character or the movie. It's all bizarre, but there are. You know, there's fun, there's fun stuff to be had in the first one. I feel like I didn't have a ton of fun in this one.
Speaker 1:That's much fun. Okay, tony, what did you have fun watching this week?
Speaker 2:Well it is. There's two things. It's a great time of year, right? Because it's NBA playoffs. The Timberwolves are playing very well. I don't want to jinx anything. They're playing well. Can I say jinx? Is that bad or is that fine? I think that's fine.
Speaker 1:Jinx, Jinx is not racial slur. Is that what you're?
Speaker 2:saying Great, yeah, but they're up 3-0 right now in their first series against the Suns. That's pretty good. One more game in Phoenix on Sunday, so, fingers crossed, we can get out of the first round of the playoffs, which will be the first time since 2004 that we do it. That's 20 years since we've gotten out of the first round of the playoffs, so that's exciting. And then this weekend is NFL draft weekend. It's been a good time. I'm having a great time. Vikings got their quarterback of the future, jj McCarthy. I don't know if I believe in him, but they do, and we'll take that ride. It's football, it's all lies. It's football, it's football, it's all lies.
Speaker 1:Well, I started. That's what I've been doing. You're a happy boy.
Speaker 2:I'm thrilled. I'm having a great time.
Speaker 1:I started the Dead Boy Detective Agency, which is oh boy, we'll talk about that offline, but continue.
Speaker 2:Oh did detective agency, which is um. Oh boy, we'll talk about that offline. But continue.
Speaker 1:Oh, did you start it? No, not at all, not at all.
Speaker 2:Oh well, it's a neil gaiman thing so yeah, you know, I read the comics and it's, you know.
Speaker 1:Is it great? No, but it's fine are?
Speaker 2:you having? Yeah, is it fun.
Speaker 1:It looked fun yeah, it's fine, it's not okay I like lockwood and co a lot better. It's not that show it's not as fun as lockwood and co, but you know they're building an interesting thing and you know the game and versus. You know kind of is all this? You know it's the death from sandman. She's there and it's like okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, tony, uh, yeah, we need a movie well.
Speaker 2:So I had a movie picked, but then you kept bringing up something during the podcast and I was like I haven't wanted to do that movie. We're going to do Die Hard, we are going to do Die Hard, but not the first Die Hard, not the second Die Hard, not the third Die.
Speaker 2:Hard not the fourth Die Hard. One, two, three. The fifth Die Hard, I believe. A good day to die hard. Wait, there's five of them. There are five, yeah. So Die Hard. 1, 2, 3. Three's got Samuel L Jackson Great movie. It was supposed to be a Lethal Weapon movie but then they switched it. It's awesome. And then Live Free or Die Hard, which has the nerdy guy in it oh, I forgot his name.
Speaker 1:Oh, the guy from Barbarian, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Why can't I think of his name? All of a sudden Do we have a guy. I like him. Sorry, everybody.
Speaker 1:That's the one with like an airplane, right, isn't there an airplane in that one? Yeah, yeah, he uses the airplane as a weapon. Really stupid.
Speaker 2:And then it gets even better. A Good Day to Die Hard is when Jai Courtney plays his son, which he didn't previously have in the other movies because he had a daughter. But here we go, we're going to do A Good Day to Die Hard 2013. Saw this movie midnight opening night, one of the most angry nights of my life. It's horrible film, horrible movie.
Speaker 1:I don't think I know anything about this.
Speaker 2:I did not that excites me, if you said to me there's a fifth one, I'd be like no, you are wrong you are mistaken sir. I promise you I am not this.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad that you haven't seen this, wow yeah, no, I don't believe I've ever seen even a second of this movie.
Speaker 2:You, you're going to have a good time.
Speaker 1:I'm going to watch the trailer to see if I remember the trailer at all, because I'm having a vague memory that's sort of percolating up that I kind of remember they did make a fifth one.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, they sure did. Oh, I'm excited.
Speaker 1:I'm actually very excited. This is 2013.
Speaker 2:That's our sweet spot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're right in that cherry that is the top point of Hollywood, making the worst movies that have ever been made. I don't know that there's a worse time period than 2013 for Hollywood movies?
Speaker 2:I don't know. You're probably right about that.
Speaker 1:Consistently terrible. Well, cool. If you like what we do, give us a like or subscribe or leave us a comment. That's very cool, and I guess we'll be back talking about Die Hard 5. Woo-hoo.
Speaker 2:Goodbye everybody. Bye, bye, dan and Tony. It's like watching hell.